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ROBERT S. HOWARD, )
Editor and Pnblislier. S
VOLUME IT.
C _ “W~„ DITPHE 3
G-ainesvillej Ga.,
IS HEADQUARTERS for good reliable goods, and the Leader in Low Prices. My stock of General Merchandise is the
largest I have ever carried, and the most extensive and best selected stock ever brought to Gainesville. My
Dry Goods Depeirtment
Is full and replete in every line. The most elegant line of DRESS GOODS. SILKS, SATINS, PLAIDS, STRIPES and
BROCADES ever offered here. A superb line of FLANNELS, W ATERPROOFS, CASIMERES, JEANS, CLOTHS, Ac.
My stock of LADIES’ CLOAK.S will equal that of every house in the city together. This line is complete in all grades.
Every lady can be suited here. My
Glove, Hosiery and Corset Departments
Are full of the best goods and lowest prices. In MILLINERY, IIATS, RIBBONS and TRIMMINGS, for ladies wear, 1 have
an elegant line, with MISS MARY DEN a superb Trimmer, at the heed of this DepartmsUrt.
Clotliing 2 Olottiing!
lu my Clothing Department may always be found everything pertaining to a first-class clothing store. This stock is unequal
cd in this section. “ KEEP’S” Shirts, Collars and Cuffs a specialty. No fancy prices. I have the largest stock of Boots and
Shoes, for Gents, Ladies and Children, ever offered to the trade in Northeast Georgia. Ziegler’s Shoes, and other noted brands
in full lines. My stock is complete in every department, and as to prices I will guarantee to sell anything in my stock as low
as similar goods can be bought in Atlanta or Athens, or any other market. All I ask is an opportunity to convince you.
Come to Gainesville. Come to sec me. ’ C. AY. DuPRE.
P. S.—l buy all kinds of Country Produce at highest market prices.
£cpt iWoedisemciits.
Jackson Sheriff's Sale.
WILL be sold, before thcCourtllouse
door in the town of Jefferson, Jack
son county, Ga., on the first Tuesday in
April next, within the legal hoursofsale,
to the highest bidder, the following prop
erty, to-wit:
The remainder, or reversion, after the
termination of the life estate in dower of
Orra Morgan, widow of William Morga.i,
(she being between 70 and 75 years of age)
in the billowing described property: The
tract of land whereon Orra Morgan now
lives, containing four hundred acres, more
or less, adjoining lands of John M. Burns,
J. M. Wilhite and others, on the road
from Jefferson to Harmony Grove, about
one mile from Apple Valley P. 0., on
which is a good two-story dwelling house
with eight rooms, good barn and stables,
with other out-buildings ; three or four
good tenant houses ; about forty acres of
good bottom land, on Parks’ creek, in cul
tivation ; about fifty acres up-land in cul
tivation ; about one hundred acres in for
est, balance in pine old fields. Said place
about three and a half miles from Jeffer
son. Levied on as the property of the
estate of William Morgan, dec'd, to satis
fy two ti. fas., one issued from the Supe
rior Court of said county in favor of John
Simpkins. Ordinary, for the use of John
M. Wilhite, against A. T. Bennett, Ad
ministrator, de bonis non, with the will of
William Morgan annexed, as principal,
and Jackson Bell as security. The other
in favor of A. T. Bennett as Guardian of
William Morgan, against A. T. Bennett
as Administrator, de bonis non, with the
will of William Morgan annexed, issued
from the Court of Ordinary of said county.
Property pointed out by A. T. Bennett,
controller of fi. fas. Written notice given
to Orra Morgan and 1). AY. Jarrctt, ten
ants in possession, and to A. T. Bennett,
Administrator, de bonis non, with the
will of William Morgan annexed, defend
ant in li. fas., as the law directs.
T. A. McELHANNON, Sh’ff.
Postponed Sheriff’s Sale.
WILL be sold, before the Court House
door in the town of Jefferson, Jack
son county, Ga., within the legal hours of
sale, to the highest and best bidder, at
public outcry, on the first Tuesday in
April, 1882. the following property, to
wit :
A tract of land lying in said county of
Jackson, on the waters of Mulberry river,
adjoining lands of Edwards. DeLaperriere
and others, containing one hundred and
twenty acres, more oi less, known as the
AVeatherly place. On said place arc rea
sonably good improvements, and a fair
proportion of open, cultivated land, and
old lield pine and forest timber. Levied
on as the property of Hugh R. Bernard
and William A. Weatherly, to satisfy a
mortgage li. fa. in favor of Wesley Nance,
Executor of John Seay, deceased, against
said Hugh It. Bernard and AVilliam A.
AVeatherly, issued from Jackson Superior
Court. Levy made by John J. AVallis,
foimer Deputy Sheriff. Property pointed
out in said li. fa.
T. A. McELHANNON,
Sheriff J. C., Ga.
rt EORGIA, Jackson County.
vjt
Whereas, J. R. Braselton, Guardian of
the persons and property of Johnson
Cowan and Helen Cowan, minors of S.
Cowan, piec'd, tenders his resignation as
such Guardian, and suggests the name of
T. L. Bryson as a suitable person for said
trust—
This is to cite all concerned, the next of
kin, to show cause, if any, at the April
term, 1882, of 6 s Court of Ordinary of
said county, why said resignation should
not be accepted and said T. L. Bryson be
appointed instead, Guardian of said mi
nors.
Given under my official signature, this
March Ist, 1882.
11. W. BELL, Ord’y.
Jackson County.
Whereas, S. P. Higgins, Administrator
ot Mary Simmons, dec'd, represents to the
Court that he has fully and completely ad
ministered said deceased’s estate accord
ing to law. and is therefore entitled to a
discharge from said administration —
This is to cite all concerned, kindred
and creditors, to show cause, if any they
can, at the regular term of the Court of
Ordinary of said county, on the first Mon
day in April, ISB2, why Letters of Dis
mission from said estate should not be
granted the applicant.
Given under my official signature, this
January 4th, 1882.
11. W. BELL, Ord’y.
GEORGIA, Jackson County.
Whereas. John Simpkins, Administra
°f the estate of J. R. Holliday, dec’d,
asss to be allowed to resign said trust,
an and suggests the name of Mrs. llol
hdav (the widow of said deceased) as a
suitable person for said trust—
Ibis is to cite all concerned, kindred
and creditors, to show cause, if any, at
the Court of Ordinary of said county, to
Je held on the tirst Monday in April, 1882,
w 7 R{ ud applicant should not be relieved
—T*ge^°^' , l a y appointed in his
Given under O official signature, this
Ma rch Ist, ltKri'i - f c
V ttrVjttELL, Ord’y.
OPS UpA—
3veeitycim* SKXT ]’R] U1):' J.O
jiAX,P.o.liyx liW,UiicufcO .Hi
('1 EORGIA, Jackson County.
J
Whereas, 11. J. Randolph, Sr., Admin
istrator of the estate of John Lancaster,
late of said county, dec'd, tenders his re
signation as such Administrator, and asks
that some other suitable person be ap
pointed in his stead—
This is to cite all concerned, kindred
and creditors, to show cause, if any, at
the regular term of the Court of Ordinary
of said county, on the first Monday in
April. ISS2, why the applicant should not
be relieved of said administration and
some other lit and proper person appoint
ed.
Given under my official signature, this
March Ist, 1882. *
FI. AY. BELL, Ord’y.
( \ EORGIA, Jackson County.
tjr
AYlicreas, it being represented to me
that Mary Thurmond (wife of J. E. Thur
mond) died in said county intestate, leav
ing an estate, which estate is unrepresent
ed and not likely to be represented—
This is to cite all concerned, kindred
and creditors, to show cause, if any, at
the regular term of the Court of Ordinary
of said count)", on the iirst Monday in
April, 1882, why the administration of
said estate should not be vested in the
Clerk of the Superior Court of said coun
ty, or some other lit and proper person.
Given und< r my official signature, this
March Ist, 1882.
11. AY. BELL, Ord’y.
R°% s
BITTERS
BROWN’S IRON BITTERS are
a certain cure ffor all diseases
requiring a complete tonic; espe
cially Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Inter
mittent Fevers, Want of Appetite,
Loss of Strength, Lack of Energy,
etc. Enriches the blood, strength
ens the muscles, and. gives new
life to the nerves. Acts like a
charm on the digestive organs,
removing all dyspeptic symptoms,
such as tasting the food, Belching,
Heat in the Stomach, Heartburn,
etc. The only Iron Preparation
that will not blacken the teeth or
give headache. Sold by all Drug
gists at $l.OO a bottle.
BROWN CHEMICAL. CO. v
Baltimore, Md. •
See that all Iron Bitters are made by Bhown Chrmicai
Cos. and have crossed red lines and trade mark on wrapper
BEWARE OF IMITATIONS*
FD’Q Elegantly Perfumed.
~J \ r l , \“ *1 ?. Remove. Dandruff!
HAIR BA L S
PARKER’S GINGER TONIC
If you are wasting away with Consumption, Age,
or any Weakness, you will find this Tonic the
Best Medicine You Can Use for
Restoring Health & Strength,
Far superior to Bitters and other Tonics, as it builds
up the system but never intoxicates. 50c. and $*
sizes. None genuine without signature of Hiscox
& Cos., N. Y. Large saving in buying dollar size.
Flnrocfnn A New, Fstbioimble auil Excee<l
rioresion , lv FriWTa nt sow by
Cologne. Dealers 1 a IVriaai.’Tal V 5 ncl -act..
LUMBER!
GOOD merchantable lumber delivered
in Jefferson at
One Dollar per Hundred!
or seventy-live cents at the mill. Send
your orders to S. S. Swann. Athens. Ga.,
or Arnold's mills, in Clarkesboro’ Dis
trict. They wiil receive prompt attention.
JEFFERSON. JACKSON COUNTY. GA.. FRIDAY, MARCH 17. ISS2.
vsc\.cc\cA vAvs ccVUvwv^.
Bill Arp.
[Atlanta Constitution.]
The good book says, “ The Lord
hath Set one thing over against anoth
er.'’ There seems to be a law of com
pensation that balances everything in
nature and keeps the terrestrial ball a
rolling ; not only the ball, but every
thing that is on it. Man may jump
up like a hoppergrass, but he has to
jump .down again. There is a cure for
every excess, a set olf for every olfset.
Every bile has to burst, and every
bubble, too. Seasons may come and
go, and drouths and floo Is, and cutter
pillars and cotton worms and potato
bugs, but the average is all the same,
and the Scriptures is fiddl ed which
says that seed time and harvest shall
not fail. Well, of course it don’t
mean that the farmer shall make as
good crop one year as another, but.
he had the time to do it and if he failed
he tried all the harder next year and
perhaps made up what he lost. The
account is kept balanced someway
and what is lost is gained if a man
works for it in the right way. There
is many a blessing in disguise. When
a big fire sweeps away a block it is
built up better the next lime. AY hen
pestilence comes everybody goes to
cleaning up. Riches have their curse
like poverty lls pleasures. Genera
tions play at sec saw, up to day and
down to-morrow. Bankers and mer
chant princes break and great men die,
but nobody stops to mourn or pity.
The busy world looks for a moment at
the vacant place and says “ close up !
close up !” and we mourn or pity on
the run. I was a ruminating over
your varigated paper what a world of
news every day of accident and inci
dent, of ups and downs, of fire and
flood, and failures, and deaths, and
marriages, and miseries, and murders,
and how it would all foot up in a year’s
calender. I was thinking about the
railroad chess-board that the magnates
are playing on, and how first one and
then another says " check” and they
keep on losing a pawn or a piece, but
nobody is mated as yet and I hope
never will be, for the balance must lie
kept even far the people’s good, and
be kept even some way or another,
for it never was intended that money
kings shall oppress the people or over
throw them.
I was thinking how easy it would be
for Jay Gould and Van ierhuilt and
Victor Neweotube and a few others to
combine and control all the cotton or
corn or wheat in the land and make
beggars of the nation if they dared to.
and then I thought of the forces that
kept them from it, for they know how
far to go, and they know the people
wouldn't stand it. The people are at
last the sovereigns, the kings of the
earth, and they are becoming more so
as the years roll on. They allow kings
and emperors like they used to, but
that divinity which doth hedge about
a king is gone. He holds ?,hc office
and draws the pay, bui tiiat is about
all. The world is assiimilating. The
masses that used to be hewers of wood
and drawers of water are looming up
and coming to the front. Everybody
is getting smart; not so much f.om
schools or books, but smu t by con
tact and by absorption. There is no
inquisition now, no oligarchy, no ty
rannical priestho >d, no barons with
their vassals. Every man can have
his own opinions ami is free to speak
it, and the voice of the people is gen
erally the voice of God. In the mul
titudeof counsel there is safety, and
most every man is a counsellor now.
Whatever is. is i ight. whether it seems
wrong or not. The war was right,
and our defeat was right. Slavery
was riirhfc, for it was ordained for the
good <*f the negro, and freedom was
riorlit, for the time had. co ne when it
FOR THE PEOPLE.
was a curse to the white man. Every
thing moves on according to a plan,
a providence. A\ r e remember that
years ago the farrm rs wore out their
lands and moved westward. This peo
pled anew territory and gave the old
lands rest. They grew up again in
forest ar.d have been peopled and
cleared again.AArc\ r c remember when
the berrauda grass was considered a
curse in middle Georgia, but now it
is a blessing and is oiligently cultiva
ted. Time and experiment is working
wonders. The are rubbing
against each other, and what one man
learns is soon caught and absorbed by
bis watchful nabors. Fixed laws of
justice and morals and business are
prevailing all over the land.
Public opinion is gettingto be the
supreme law and governs everything.
Public opinion says one wife is enough
and so Mormonism must go. AVhen
railroads combine against the people
the people rise up and make a commis
sion to regulate and control them.
Jay Gould may combine with New
comb and AVadley or any other men.
The)' may bull or bear the stock, but
the people will control the roads. The
people are long suffering and bear a
great deal, but when they become des
perate thay speak in thunder tones.
Stockbrokers and speculators make a
power of noise and fuss, but they don’t
hurt anybody but themselves. They
are just like a passel of gamblers
round a gaming table. They bet high
and lose and win, but the spectators
are only amused and entertained. It
is the surplus cash that is at stake.
It's not my money or yours, nor our
farms or capital in business. A\ r e
don’t care whether the Louisville and
Nashville stock is one hundred or two
hundred, so it carries us and our freight
at reasonable prices. If a man has
stock in it and it pays fair dividends
let him keep it, whether it is up or down,
and if it don’t let him sell and put
his money is something else. Stock
gambling suits some folks and so let
’em gamble ou. Money made in that
way don’t amount to anything. If the
possessor does not lose it his children
will spend and leave the world as poor
as their father came into it. A fortune
made in a year rarely sticks to any
body. Five years is hazardous ; but
one gained by the pursuit of an honest
calling for ten or twenty years brings
with it that high reward which justly
entitles a man to be classed with the
true aristocracy.
No man ought to desire a fortune to
come suddenly. It would embarrass
him. It takes several 3’ears to learn
its best uses and to handle it with be
coming dignity. I have great respect
for that class of rich men who made
their fortunes slowly. I like these
presidents of railroads, and banks,
and manufacturing companies. I can
tell’emas they walk the streets—there
is a bearing of dignity and moral worth
about ’em. I give ’em the sidewalk,
I do, for I have regard for them. They
control men. Thousands are depen
dent upon their capacity and integrity,
and they know it, and feel it, and it
makes ’em both proud and humble.
I think I would like to be a presideut
of a bank, wouldent you ? This kind
of rich men are liberal and charitable
in their old age, if the}’ are not before.
They endow colleges and orphan asy
lums. Tiles’ build railrosds and facto
ries and steamships and telegraph
lines, and do big things that other men
couldent do. Rich men area blessing
to the land, for if all the money in the
word was equally divided among all
the people, none of us would have any
to share, and there wouldent be an
other railroad or steamboat built in
the next fifty years ; so its all right I
reckon, and I'm content and I wish
everybody else was. I’ve had more
than my share all my life. I’ve eat
as much good vittles and wore as warm
clothes as a millionaire. I’ve had in}’
trials and troubles and so has ho, and
so, in the long run, the accounts be
tween us are about balanced, and we
will quit the world even so far as the
world is concerned.
What next? Bill Aur.
The Jack-Rabbit.
The jack rabbit is an inhabitant of
Texas and some other Western States,
lie is often called the “ mule-eared rab
bit,” and, by the cowboy, is familiarly
spoken nf as the “ nriley." lie is not
a rabbit at all. A rabbit is an un
obstrusive little animal, who is found
by school boys in a hole in the ground,
at Hie end of a long track in the snow.
The so-called jack- rabbit is quite a
different kind of soup meat. lie is
identical with the British hare, except
that he is larger, his color lighter, arid
his ears much longer. 11 is avoirdupoise
is about twelve pounds, and his ears
measure from tip to tip, about sixteen
inches. He does not burrow in the
ground. lie lies under cover of a bunch
of prairie grass, but is very seldom
found at home, his office hours being
between sunset and sunrise. He is to
be found during the day on the open
prairie, where lie feeds on the tender
shoots of the mesqnite or sage grass.
He is not a ferocious animal, as a
stranger might be led to suppose from
an examination of what purports to be
his picture, under the alias of f> The
Texas Hare,” in Governor Roberts’
book.
The jack-rabbit has several enemies,
among them the cowboy, who shoots
them with his rifle, the cayote and the
dog, that try to run him down, and the
Governor of Texas, above alluded to,
who libels him in his book. He has
two ways of protecting himself against
his enemies. One way is to squat,
when lie suspects danger, and fold lbs
ears along his sides. By doing this he
often escapes observation, as only his
back is exposed, the color of which
harmonizes with the brown of the with
ered grass. The other plan, that he
uses when discovered and pursued, is
to create remoteness between himself
and his pursuer. In giving his whole
attention to this matter, when neces
sarj’, he is a stupenduons success and
earnest to a fault. AVhen disturbed,
he unlimbers his long legs, unfurls his
ears, and goes off with a bound. lie
generally stops after running about a
hundred yards, and looks back to see
if his pursuer is enjoying the chase as
much as be thought he would, and then
be leaves for parts unknown.
There are many fast things, from
an ice boat to a note maturing in the
bank, but nothing to equal the jack
rabbit. An unfounded rumor gets
around pretty lively, but could not
keep up with him for two blocks. \Yhen
an ordinary cur dog tries to expedite
a jack-rabbit route, be makes a humili
ating failure of it.
lie only gives the rabbit gentle ex
ercise. The latter merely throws up
his ears and, under easy sail, skims
leisurely along, tacking occasionally to
give the funeral procession time to
catch up. But if you want to see
velocity, urgent speed, and precipita
ted haste, you have only to turn loose
a greyhound in the wake of a jack
rabbit. Pursued by a greyhound be
will “ let himself out” in a manner that
would astonish a prepaid half rate
message. If be is a rabbit that lias
never had any experience with a grey
hound before, he will start off at an
easy pace, but as lie turns to wink
derisively at what lie supposes to be
an ordinary yellow dog. he realizes
that there is a force in nature hitherto
unknown to him, and his look of as
tonishment, alarm and disgust, as be
furls bis ears and promptly declines
the nomination, is amusing. Under
such circumstances he goes too fast
for the eye to follow bis movements,
and presents the optical illusion of a
streak of jack rabbit a mile and a half
long. Texas Sifting.
Wlio are the Eourbons?
The following article is from the pen
of a writer in tlie Atlantic Monthly,
who evidently knows what he is a
talking about: his head is level and
his views are sound. We attach im
portance to them because they are the
observations of one who evidently
differs from the Southern people in
polities, yet does not allow his views
to rear his powers for correct observa
tion or make him a fanatic :
‘•As usual in the North, this word
“ Bourbon” designates a class of white
men composed chiefly of the leading
citizens of the Southern States. The
Bourbons are the principal business
men, lawyers, physicians, teacher 0 ,
clergymen, merchants and fanners o!
the South. They arc everywhere the
leaders of society, in the best sense of
the word. They sustain the churches,
and give such efficiency to the moral
activities and discipline of the local
communities as they have thus far
attained. Taken broadly or generally,
the class includes the best people of
the South, or most of then). They are
Bourbons because in politics they are
Democrats and act in opposition to the
principles, policy or methods of the
iiepu'd'can party, which h.n admini---
j tered the National Government since
the time of our civil war. In the
Southern States the term Bourbon lias
no distinct significance. It is applied
indiscriminately by all classes of
politicians to anybody who differs from
them. It is there a convenient though
empty epithet or name of reproach.
Ever)’ politican insists that bis party
is the party of progress, of improve
ment—the representative and embodi
ment of the onl)? ideas by which society
can exist or civilization be maintained,
and be is, of course, entitled to
stigmatize his opponents as Bourbons.
The word is a sham or burlesque
weapon in the South, and is used there
by everybody in political wrangling
for “all it is worth.” As to the
Southern men who compose the class
to which this name is usually applied
in the North, I am compelled to say
that, aside from political matters, they
are much like other people, or like the
best people in our Northern com
munities. They do not appear to love
what i3 wrong for its own sake, to
prefer falsehood, baseness, cruelty or
injustice to the virtues and good
qualities which are elsewhere revered
by good men. They are amiable,
truthful, conscientious, kind, public
spirited and religious, resembling ver) r
closely the foremost men in our New
England towns in ail the impoatant
elements of personal character, differ
ing only, in general, in being more
communicative and having less reserve
than is usual among New Englanders.
As to their political action, it seems
to me to have been for some ) T ears in
evitable ; the necessary product and
result of the peculiar conditions of life
and society in the South since the civil
war. It does not appear to have been
owing to sheer depravity on their part,
nor to any choice or agency of theirs,
that there was for some years a dis
turbed and unsettled state of things
in the Southern States. Collisions
between different classes followed
unavoidably upon the elevation of the
emancipated slaves into political su
periority over the disfranchised white
citizens of the country. There has
never been any such completeness of
organization among the people of the
South since the war as many persons
believe to have existed there. That
part of our country is distinguished
by much greater feebleness of com
munity and a less organic life than
belongs to Northern society ; and the
Bourbons are not really responsible
for everything that has been done
South of Mason and Dixon’s line. I
shall have more to say hereafter of
Southern politics. Here I wish .only
to place the so-called Bourbon ty r pc as
plainly as possible before my readers.
The men thus designated are. as a
class, eminently social, hospitable,
honest and upright men, if we leave
their politics out of view. They have,
in large measure, built up and main
tained such moral, social, industrial
and religious organization and activity
as the Soutli now possesses, and much
of what is best and most encouraging
in the present state of things in the
principal Southern States is due to
them and to their efforts for practical
reconstruction in a time of extreme
difficulty and uncertainty, when their
resources were so discouragingly
slender, and when they had no pre
cedent to guide them except such as
were furnished by the experience of
mankind in the long contest between
civilization and barbarism in the past.
I think they have made mistakes and
have done wrong things since the war.
I am not certain that we or anybody
else would have done better than
they.
“In studying the Bourbons I have
been forced to conclude that nothing
has yet been attained anywhere ranch
better than the domestic life of this
class of the Southern people in its
intelligence, refinement, beauty and
general elevation and wholesome
ness.”
HOW WATCHES ARE MADE.
It will be apparent to any one who will
examine a Solid Goj and Watch, that aside
from the necessary thickness for engraving
and polishing, a large proportion of the
precious metal used is needed only to
stiffen and hold the engraved portions in
place, and supply the necessary solidity
and strength. The surplus gold is actu
ally needless so far as UTILITY and beau
ty are concerned. In JAMES BOSS’
PATENT GULL) WATCH CASES, this
WASTE of precious metal is overcome, and
the SAME SOLIDITY AND STRENGTH pro
duced at from onc-third to one-half of the
usual cost of solid cases. This process is
of the most simple nature, as follows : a
plate of nicklc composition metal especi
ally adapted to the purpose, has two plates
of solid GOLD soldered one on each side.
The three are tiien passed between polish
ed steel rollers, and the result is a strip of
heavy plated composition, from which the
cases, backs, centres, bezels, &c., are cut
and shaped by suitable dies and formers.
The gold in these cases is sufficiently thick
to admit of all kinds of chasing, engraving
and enamelling; the engraved cases have
been carried until worn perfectly smooth
b\ T time and use without removing the
gold.
THIS IS THE ONLY CASE MADE
WITH TWO PLATES OF SOLID GOLD
AND WARRANTED BY SPECIAL
CERTIFICATE.
For sale by all Jewelers. Ask for ll
i lust ruled Catalogue, and to see warrant.
S TERMS, $1.50 PER ANNUM.
( SI.OO for Six Months.
Minor Trials of This Life.
Trying to recollect the store you left
your umbrella in.
Losing penknife.
Losing cane.
First grease spot on new pantaloons.
Shirt buttons found wanting on cold
morning.
Mosquitoes.
Flies.
Bugs.
Flea in trousers.
Uncut books and magazines.
Getting shaved.
Full barber shop when you are in a
hurry to be shaved.
House hunting.
Piano practice next room.
Accordeon, flute, violin, next room.
Newspaper with five supplements.
Trying to interest the girl who wants
the other man.
Hand organs.
Trying to talk to an “Oh, dearP
“ Oh, my !” and “ Oh, isn’t that nice !”
girl.
Trying to save monev.
Remembering what a fool you made
of yourself when tight last night.
Reading your own love letters when
it was very bad and you were not ex
pected to recover.
Tumbling up stairs.
Tumbling down stairs.
Conundrums.
Pun I '.
Rickety chairs.
Leathery steak.
Old bill against you forgotten.
Toothache.
Trying to write home because it’s
your duty.
Atmosphere of stove heated railroad
cars in winter.
Cold feet.
Making a purchase at one shop and
seeing the article marked fifty percent,
cheaper at the next.
Having your ash box stolen.
Salesman or woman who argues that
you ought to like this or that pattern.
Four friends giving directions to
some place at once.
Some old yarn you heard forty times
before.
“That reminds me of a little anec
dote.”
Invalid who will tell all his com
plaints.
India rubber shoe stuck in the mud.
Umbrella turned wrong side out by
the wind.
Firecrackers a month before and a
mouth after the Fourth.
Waiting for your change at one of
your big stores.
Salesmen and women who seem in a
hurry for y'ou to buy and clear out.
Dogs and cats at night.
Hole in pocket discharging ten cent
pieces down trouser leg to pavement.
Corns.
Tight boots.
Dull penknives.
Remark by friend : “ Gcttin’ old like
the rest of us.”
Man who will talk behind you all
through the play*.
Door bell that won’t ring.
Taxes.
Crowded steamboat without scats.
Crowded car without seats.
Third-class hotel with first-class
charges.
Railway station coflce.
Peg iu shoe.
Man you owe.
Man who owes you ami does like
wise.
If a Republican, a Democratic
speech.
If a Democrat, a Republican speech.
Slippery front door steps.
Pen non est when you want it.
Miserable pen when you get it.
Thick ink.
No envelopes.
Musty eggs for breakfast.
Long sermon.
High wind blowing hat off.
Counting week’s salary after jambo
ree.
Fly in coffee.
Fly in tea.
Crying babies on car or boat.
Enlarged shirt button hole at neck,
letting neck gear down by the run.
Sight of steamboat smokestack inov
ing off when ninety seconds too late.
Or rear of train when ninety seconds
too late.
Man who chews and spit? in car or
boat.
Person who calls when you’re out
and leaves no name.
Old friend who calls when you’ro
out and leaves no address.
Very interesting story in stray maga
zine. “To be continued.”
Slamming window blinds.
Trying to think of a man’s name
you’ve forgotten.
Trying to recollect where you put
it.— N. F. Graphic.
NUMBER 4.