Newspaper Page Text
Will Roger* Wonderiag
How We’ll Pay For Beer
When We Bring It Back
By Will Roger*
Convention Hall, Chicago, 111.,
July I.—Did the Democrats go wet?
No. They just layed right down
and wallowed in it. They left all
their clothes on the bank and dived
in without even a bathing suit.
They are wetter than an “organ
die” dress at a rainy day picnic.
The plank was made from cork
wood nailed together with a sponge.
Both conventions, minds and
time, have been so taken up with
getting the country wet that they
forgot to put in a plank to provide
the price of this much talked of
drink. Its going to be lawful to
get a drink but not possible.
A1 Smith was by far the sensa
tion of the convention and had by
far the best speech.
I just want to know what all these
old dry office holders that went
wet over night are going to tell
those Baptist preachers back home.
They are going to say, “nothing, I
can’t tell a lie, l saw the votes go
ing and 1 had to go after 'em.”
Why in the world didn’t they
have that fellow, Ely, governor of
Massachusetts, not only nominate
A1 Smith, but nominate all of ’em.
He was good. Chairman Walsh
tried to stop him and give a Gun
boat Smith decision, but the audi
ence wouldn’t let him. Why that
fellow Ely could nominate an Ala
bamian for the school of cardinals
in Rome.
Bless old Texas and California,
they marched with their heart in it
for Jack Garner. There was none
of thei synthetic stuff with them.
Senator Connally made a good nom
inating speech for Garner, too.
“I Told You So,” Says Will
You remember away back in the
early part of 1928? I had a piece
in the Saturday Evening Post ask
ing Smith not to run that year; that
things wasn’t right, that anti-pro
hibition was growing but not e
nough. I told him that it was a Re
phblican year and no Democrat
could be elected; that prohibition
feeling would be strong enough in
1932 to put him over. Well, you
■will pardon me for bringing that up
now, but 1 just can’t help it. Us
folks that write are right so little
of the time that we have to brag
on these very rare occasions.
Well, if he had done that we
would all have been home two days
ago. They would have nominated
him on the first half ballot this year
and the Democrats would have
“walked in” to the White House.
What, reminded me of this was when
A1 spoke himself of being four years
ahead of his time.
“Well, been having a lot of fun
here with what I jokingly call “my
old wet sister friends,” Mrs. Sabin
and her gang. We got all our dif
ficulties thrashed out and I am still
sticking to my original statements
that they “hopped” on me about.
I said society women taking up
nickels on the street in New York
wouldn’t help their cause with the
tarmer or ranch women and it
didn’t. And then I said the wrong
people was for it in order to get it
through. Well, what I mean by the
“right” people was folks like John
D. Rockefeller, Jr. There is one
individual that turned the tide more
than New York’s “400” and Chica
go’s “75.”
Then the other night when these
delegates switched over, that’s what
I meant by the “right people,” for
their vote put in the platform, and
that’s the bunch of people switch
ing over that will do the trick. The
others had been w’et all the time but
couldn’t get it put over so they
must have been the wrong people to
put it over.
Ladies Get Credit, However
But these ladies did do some fine
work, conscious work, lots of ’em
without the thought of the personal
publicity cnnected with it, and they
deserve to reap all the glory of the
winner. Now here is a funny thing
about this whole convention. There
just wasn’t a thing that the people
would listen to only prohibition.
Any kind of economy reform plank
or amendment met with “boo boo.”
Ngw somebody is going to get
fooled on this thing. As bad as the
eighteenth amendment needed some-
thing done to it, it can’t remedy all
our ills. If it brings in all the tax
money that it’s supposed to where
is that monuy coming from to be
spent for it? I wish the conven
tion, when they saw they had the
beer, would have listened to some
other speaker that might have had
a plunk to present to show ’em
where to get some bread with the
beer. *
Some of these not too far away
days we are going to realize that
our troubles are so much deeper
than beer that we will wish we had
! listened to something else, after we
had the beer. But we got one ad-
I vantage anyhow, we can drown our
troubles legally.
But wait a minute: Just how
much fun is it going to be to drink
now when we ain’t breaking any
law? They have taken all the fun
out of drinking. What’s some oth
er amendment we can break in its
place?
• •••••••*• •
• CAUGHT IN THE AIR *
• #*•*••**• •
East Week’s Locals.
Mr. and Mrs. Polk Catlett and
Mrs. Fannie Catlett were guests of
Mr. and Mrs. D. J. Wheeler, Sunday
p. m.
Master Cecil Vandiver spent Sun
day p. m. with Master Elmer Bos
well.
Mrs. Cleta Henry and daughters
of Commerce spent the week-end
with Mr. and Mrs. C. R. Davis.
Mr. and Mrs. Goss Gillispie had
as their week-end guests from At
lanta, Mr. and Mrs. T. A. Williams
and son, and Mrs. Mertice Carson.
Misses Gladys and Woodie Perry
entertained the Oconee B. Y. P. U.
at a lovely social at their home Sat
urday night.
Mr. and Mrs. Dillard Vandiver
and Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Vandiver
spent Sunday p. m. in Maysville.
We are sorry to learn Mrs. Evie
Boswell, Mrs. yandiver’s mother, is
seriously ill.
Master Elmer Boswell has been
on the sick list a few days this
week.
Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Vaughn and
children spent Sunday with Mr.
Vaughn’s parents, near Wright’s
Mill.
Mr. Bud Garrison spent Sunday
with Mr. and Mrs. Hoyt Merk.
Mr. Thomas Harbin and son,
Hoyt, spent Saturday in Commerce.
Mr. and Mrs. Claud Boyd of Ten
nessee were week-end guests of Mr.
and Mrs. Henry Walton.
Misses Woodie Perry and Clifford
Harmon, Messrs. Rob Davis and Ed
Trout, were the guests of Miss
Grace Lord, at Dahlonega, Sunday
p. m.
Mr. and Mrs. Julian Jackson spent
Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. N. H.
Perry.
Mr. and Mrs. J. T. Boswell had
as their dinner guests, 4th Sunday,
Rev. and Mrs. F. L. Church, Mrs.
Lacy and Mr. Oshn of Atlanta, in
the p. m.; Mr. and Mrs. Isaiah O’-
Kelly and children, Mr. and Mrs.
C. R. Davis and two little girls.
Misses Mary Alice and Johnnie
Perry were the guests of Mrs. Hen
ry Lankford, Saturday p. m.
"MORE TAXES!”
✓
The day may die, the sun may set,
But taxes, like the river,
Keep going up, and higher get,
And will it stop? No, never,
You get a raise in weekly wage—
The Income Taxes grab it;
Your uncle leaves a heritage—
“lnheritance” will nab it.
You put your savings in some bank
The Excise Tax w r ill take it;
You try to hock your auto crank—
It costs a tax to stake it.
You can not give away your clothes
Unless the “Gift Tax” nails you
And tweaks your pocket-book and
nose
Until your heart near fails you
You can’t buy rouge for your pale
wife
But what the grafters tax it;
You try with drink to take your
life—
“ Beverage” tax man sneaks it.
You telegraph the County Home—
And pay a tax for waring;
You pray for death’s release to
come—
And get taxed for expiring.
You seek to buy a set of furs
To keep your wife from freezing
They tax her “ten per cent” on hers
And add more for her sneezing.
You buy a gill or so of Malt
To take an appetizer—
The tax man yells for you to
“Halt!” *
Any pay our tax diviser.”
You give your graduating girl
A box of gum or candy—
They tax it till you’re in a whirl
And rave like Old Man Gandhi.
If there’s a thing they’ve failed to
tax,
Please keep it from the papers;
For they have heaped tax on our
backs
Until we cut up capers.
It’s tax on gasoline and gum,
On theatres and races,
On matches, radios and rum,
And rides, if you go places.
They tax a man for wearing shoes,
And even tax the leather;
They tax the debts and revenues,
And almost tax the weather.
They tax a Jay for drawin’ breath,
The license for his marriage;
And when he seeks relife in death,
They tax the funral carriage.
—Exchange.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
FOR JUDGE SUPERIOR COURT
To The White Voters of The
Piedmont Circuit: I hereby an
nounce myself a candidate for Judge
of the Piedmont Circuit at the Demo
cratic Primary September 14, 1932.
I wish to thank the voters of this
circuit for thgir support in the past,
and if my administration of the law
has been satisfactory to the people
of the circuit, I will greatly appre
ciate your vote at said primary elec
tion. This April 16, 1932.
W. W. STARK.
FOR SOLICITOR GENERAL
To the White Voters of the Pied
mont Circuit: Remembering with
profoundest gratitude the confidence
expressed in me by the people of
this judicial circuit four years ago,
I offer as a candidate for an indorse
ment term as Solicitor General of
the Piedmont Circuit, subject to the
white primary election of Septem
ber 14th. I do so with the consci
ousnesss that I have striven to the
best of my ability to perform faith
fully and impartially the important
duties of the office. I pledge a con
tinuation of these effbrts, and most
earnestly solicit the vote and active
support of all the citizens of the cir
cuit-.
Respectully,
CLIFFORD PRATT.
Winder, Ga.
FOR REPRESENTATIVE
To the Voters of Jackson County:
I hereby announce my candidacy for
Representative from Jackson Coun
ty, subject to the Democratic Pri
mary Election on September 14th,
next. If elected, I will serve the
County and State faithfully, and to
the best of my ability.
L. C. ALLEN.
FOR REPRESENTATIVE
I hereby announce my candidacy
to succeed myself as one of the
Representatives of Jackson County,
subject to the Democratic Primary
to be held September 14, 1932. If
my past record meets with your ap
proval, and you see fit to again give
me your support and influence, the
same will be greatly appreciated.
Personally, I feel that with my past
experience in the legislature I am
better prepared to serve in this ca
pacity than ever before. I appre
ciate the loyal support of my friends
in the past, and solicit the vote and
influence of all the. qualified white
voters in the coming election.
Respectfully yours,
' J. E. J. LORD.
FOR CONGRESS
To The Voters of the Ninth Con
gressional District of Georgia: In
viting careful consideration of my
record as your Representative in the
present Congress, I solicit your sup
port for the Democratic nomination
for Representative in the Seventy-
Third Congress of the United States,
which I shall seek at your hands in
the September primary. I deeply
appreciate your past expressions of
confidence in me.
Sincerely,
JNO. S. WOOD.
SHERIFF’S SALE
Georgia, Jackson County. There
will be sold, at public outcry, to the
highest and best bidder, for cash, be
fore the court house door, in Jeffer
son. Jackson County, Georgia, be
tween the legal hours of sale, on the
first Tuesday in August, 1932, the
following described property, to-wit;
All that certain lot, tract or par
cel of land, containing eighty-eight
and twenty-four one-hundredths
acres, more or less, located, lying
and being in the County of Jackson,
State'of Georgia, and 257th G. M.,
being bounded on the north by lands
of W. B. Hardman estate, east by
lands of H. C. Sims, south by lands
of M. L. Davis, west by lands of J.
M. Nix, and having such shapes,
metes, courses and distances as will
more fully appear by reference to
a plat thereof made by J. D. Jewell,
Surveyor, on the twenty-fifth day
of January, 1927, a copy of which
plat is on file with The Federal
Land Bank of Columbia, S. C.
Said land found in possession .of
M. H. Richey, defendant in fi fa.
Levied on as the property of M. H.
Richey, to satisfy a fi. fa. against
him, in favor of The Federal Land
Bank of Columbia, South Carolina,
from the City Court of Jefferson,
Georgia. This July 2nd, 1932.
R. M. Culberson, Sheriff.
NOTICE
All parties indebted to the estate
of N. G. Troutt, deceased, are re
quested to settle same; and all par
ties holding claims against said
estate, are requested to present
them in due form for payment. This
July 1, 1932.
Hoke Troutt,
Mrs. E. A. Caldwell,
Executors Estate of N. G. Troutt.
A Dash of Economy
Christmas comes a
Il \ c ' as h °f economy. That happy
holiday loosened your purse
strings, if you’re normal,
IUBBB but New Year’s day always
brings resolutions to balance the
budget all next year. That is all
right, but where shall we start ?
How about the kitchen department?
You doubtless feasted heavily during
the holidays and practically disre
garded the cost. Is it possible to
eat more economically without sac
rificing nourishment, enjoyment and
health ?
Yes, if is, if you know how. But
only an experienced housewife, or a
■trained dietitian who has studied the
subject can tell just what economies
are both real for your purse and
really better for your health than
more expensive foods. A housewife
and a dietitian were not only con
sulted'on this subject, but they were
induced to consult with each other,
and here are some of the dixies they
devised.
Saving Salads
Fruit Cole Slate : This is a salad
which will serve six people and will
not cost much more than a quarter.
To make it, crisp one cup finely
shredded cabbage in ice water, drain
and dry thoroughly. Just before
serving add one diced orange and the
contents of one 8-ounce can of
.crushed Hawaiian pineapple. Mix
in one-half cup boiled dressing, and
serve on six crisp lettuce leaves.
? ? ?
Want a cook,
Want a clerk,
Want a partner,
Want a situation,
Want to sell a farm,
Want to borrow money,
Want to sell livestock,
Want to rent any rooms,
Want to sell town property,
Want to recover lost articles,
Want to rent a house or farm,
Want to sell second hand furniture,
Want to find customers for anything,
Advertise in The Jackson Herald.
Advertising will gain new customers,
Advertising keeps old customers,
Advertising makes success easy,
Advertising begets confidence,
Advertising brings business,
Advertising shows energy,
Advertise and succeed,
Advertise consistently,
Advertise judiciously,
Advertise or bust,
Advertise weekly,
Advertise now,
Advertise
Shrimp and Pineapple Salad:
This serves six people liberally, and
costs, at the outside, seventy cents.
Chill well the contents of a 5)4“
ounce can of shrimps, six diced
slices of canned pineapple and one
cup of diced celery. Toss them
lightly together and pile into a large
lettuce-lined salad bowl, or in indi
vidual ones. Mix three-fourths cup
mayonnaise with one-fourth cup chili
sauce, and pour over the salad. This
makes a good main dish.
Economical Desserts
Baked Pineapple Pudding: This
costs about a quarter, and makes
enough pudding for four people.
Cream three tablespoons butter and
four tablespoons sugar, and add one
well-beaten egg yolk. Add one-half
cup of dry bread crumbs and one-half
cup crushed Hawaiian pineapple, and
fold in one stiffly-beaten egg white.
Pour into a buttered baking dish
and bake in a slow oven, 325°. f° r
twenty to thirty minutes. Serve
.with one-half cup of thin cream.
Pineapple Caramel Tapioca: You
can make enough of this to serve
six people for not more than thirty
five cents. Scald one and one-fourth
cups milk in a double boiler. Cara
melize three tablespoons sugar, and
add to one and one-fourth cups
milk. Add four tablespoons sugar,
four and one-half tablespoons minute
tapioca and a few grains of salt.
Cook until tapioca is transparent.
Beat one egg, pour hot mixture
over it slowly,'and return to double
boiler, stirring constantly until thick
and creamy. Add the contents of a
No. 2 can of crushed pineapple, and
cool. This should be served very
cold.
Moderate Priced Meats
Pork Chops with Grilled Pine
apple: This recipe will serve six
people at a cost of less than seventy
cents. Fry one and one-half pounds
of pork chops as usual and remove
to a hot platter. Meanwhile drain
the slices from a 13-ounce can o t
Hawaiian pineapple, place on t.ie
broiler rack, and brown under name
until golden brown on both sices.
Place on platter with the chops.
Lamb Chops with Sauteed Pine
apple : This, too, serves six people,
and costs a little more than seventy
five cents. Panfry six shoulder
lamb chops, season and remove to a
hot platter. Place six slices 0
drained pineapple in the hot skii e
and saute in the drippings until go *
en brown on both sides. Arrang
in a circle around the chops.
A Frugal Fruit Dish
Scalloped Pineapple and Rhubarb.
This combination costs between tony
and forty-five cents, and will serv.
eight people. Mix half the co
tents of a No. 2 can of crushed
Hawaiian pineapple, one-halt po
rhubarb (canned or fresh) cut m
small pieces, one-third cup sugar,
few grains of salt and one-fo
teaspoon nutmeg. Melt four 0
spoons butter and add one an' ‘ .
half cups dry bread crumbs,
alternate layers of the frui
crumbs in a" buttered baking ,
and bake in a moderate oven, 37?
for thirty minutes. Serve (
sweetened top milk.*