Newspaper Page Text
By Holder & Williamson
TAKE IT EASY
It is well not to be too serious
sometimes. It is good for the read
er to forget for awhile national and
international questions, financial,
school, social, pension and political
problems of State and one’s own
worries and be entertained with
something not quite so ponderous.
This thought was impressed on the
writer when he read some of the
jokes about the WPA, which is a
worthy part of the governmental
operations. The WPA’s are the
victims of wise cracks from stage,
radio, screen and individuals, just
as Scotchmen are the source of
fun, because of their stinginess, and
Irishmen because of their Wit and
humor. What will follow in these
columns are all borrowed jokes,
tt t t
A theatre was reviving Max Rein
hardt’s famous play, “The Miracle.”
A heavy taxpayer was waiting in
line at the box office, when sudden
ly outside the box office a couple of
men working on a WPA project set
up “Men at Work” signs and started
working very earnestly tearing up
the roadway. The taxpayer watch
ed them laboring for a few minutes.
Then the man in the box office said
to him, “What seats do you wish,
sir?” “None at all,” said the tax
payer, happily, pocketing his admis
sion money, “I’ve just seen the
miracle.”
tt t t
Here is one not about WPA, but
the mother-in-law. Joe and Mary
were engaged to be married. Mary
went home one evening with tears
in her eyes, and said to her mother,
“I just cannot marry Joe.” The
mother in distressed tones inquired,
“And what now is the matter with
Joe?” The young lady said, now
crying in dead earnest, “Mother, he
does not believe in God, Heaven or
hell.” The mother then asked,” “Do
you love Joe?” Mary answered,
“With all my heart.” Then the
question, “Does he love you?” The
answer from Mary, “Yes, mother, I
believe he really and sincerely loves
me.” Then the mother said, “Go
on and marry him, since you love
him and he loves you. Don’t bother
about his belief about hell. You and
Joe are going to live with me for
one year, and at the end of that
time he will certainly change his
mind about being no hell.”
tt t t
Here are some more WPA wise
cracks —
A doctor was examining anew
patient. “What you need is a good
rest,” the doctor. “You must
relax. You’re overworking • your
self. By the way, where do you
work?”
“I’m on the WPA,” replied the
patient. . „
“Let me examine you again, said
the doctor. “I’ve made a mistake.”
How is this one about old Satan
A worker, having shuffled off his
mortal coil, knocked at the gates of
HeH. . ,
“What do you want?” growled the
devil.
“I’m a WPA worker,” replied the
spirit, “and I thought I’d sort of
like it down here.”
“A WPA worker,” said Satan,
popping into view and showing that
he was wearing a fur coat, “don’t
you dare come in here. We had a
thousand of those guys here last
week and they let the fires go out.”
tt t t
This one loves to hear the
whistle —
A WPA applicant was being quiz
zed. “I can give you a good office
job,” said his interrogator, “but I
want to ask, are you a clock-watch
er?” The applicant stretched, yawn
ed and answered: “I don’t like in
side work, I am a whistle listener.”
This is a very careful driver —
On a road project one of the
workers was assigned to go up the
road and warn the motorists that
the way was partially blocked and to
drive carefully. The worker assign
ed to that duty was afflicted with
laryngitis. A motorist drove up and
the worker stopped him.
“What’s the matter?” asked the
motorist.
The worker said laryngitis whisp
ered huskily, “There’s a WPA pro
ject up the road.”
“That’s all right,” whispered the
driver. “I’H go by quietly so we
won’t wake em.”
tt t t
“How did you lose your job?” a
*rife asked her husband who had
The Jackson Herald
been given a pink slip.
"They accused me of being dis
loyal to the WPA.”
"What were you doing?” asked
his wife, horrified.
“Working,” groaned the husband.
Could furnish no more shovel*—
The Foreman on a project ran
short of shovels and wired Washing
ton, asking for more. The next day
he received this reply:
“Have no more shovels, tell the
men to lean on each other.”
The other fellow is lazy—
A project foreman called to one
of the men, “How come everybody
else on this job is carrying two logs,
and you’re only moving one?”
“Oh,” yawned the WPA worker,
“those other fellows are too lazy to
go twice.”
Here is one who gets tired—
The foreman on a WPA project
started bawling out one of his men.
“We’ve had slow men on this job,”
he said, “but you are the slowest
person I have ever seen. Aren’t you
quick at anything?”
“Well,” yawned the workman,
“Nobody can get tired as quick as I
can.”
tt t t
This one from the column of
Dudley Glass of the Atlanta Geor
gian—
Another “scared negro” story of
the old-time minstrel type:
Funeral of deceased brother w r as
being held by the graveside when a
ventrioquist strolled up and took
part, uninvited.
“We was jest lowerin’ Bill into de
grave,” related one of the pallbear
ers, “when he spoke up and said:
‘Let me down easy, boys.’ ”
“Did they go ahead and bury him
after that?”
“How in de mischief dp you think
I’d know?”
tt t t
Here is one about a man and his
wife. This is not about WPA. A
man was out in front of his house
groaning and taking on, when a
neighbor came by and asked, “Bill,
what in the world is the matter?”
“Oh,” said Bill, “It is awful, awful,
awful.” The neighbor said, “Bill,
what in the world is so' awful?”
“Terrible, terrible,” he answered,
“My wife ran away last week and
left me.” The neighbor com
forted him by saying, “Well, if she
does not love you I would not want
her to live with me if I were in your
place.” “That is just it,” said the
husband, “It is worse and worse, be
cause she came back home this
morning.”
tt t t
Here is one about Casey, who had
been married only a week, when he
discovered that his wife, who had
assumed control of things in the
household, was so economical
until she might be called stingy.
Casey had been hard at work all
day. when he stopped to talk
to a neighbor who lived close
by. Just befpre going in the house
his wife came to the door and called
out in a loud, clear voice, “Come to
tea, toast and,five eggs.” Casey ran
into the house, thinking he had mis
judged his wife about being stingy.
“Look here,” said Casey, were you
just kiddin’ me about that meal, or
did you mean what you said?” “No,
Casey,” said the wife, “It is not you,
but the neighbors I’m kiddin’.”
tt t t
See how a Cabinet member was
mistaken—
A Cabinet member is supposed to
have suddenly turned to his secre
tary, as they were strolling, and
pointing to the White House garden,
said, “I never realized before that
there was a statue in the garden in
exactly that place.”
“That isn’t a statue,” replied the
secretary. “That’s a WPA worker.”
They just could not tell which was
which—
Six WPA workers were carrying
the body of a man, who had been
killed, into an undertaker’s shop. The
undertaker was very much annoyed.
“Why,” he asked, “didn’t you bring
this man’s body here at three
o’clock, as you promised? It’s now
after seven.”
“Sorry,” replied the leader, “but
we had to wait until the six o’clock
whistle blew to find out which one of
the men was dead.”
tt t t
Some of the above are pretty
poor jokes. The others are no bet
ter, but one can content himself
SINGLE COPY 5c
JEFFERSON, Jackson County, Georgia.
U. D. C. ENTERTAINED AT THE
HOME OF MRS. JACK MURPHY,
TALMO
On Wednesday afternoon, the
17th, the Jefferson Chapter, U. D.
C., held their monthly meeting at
the home of Mrs. Jack Murphy at
Talmo, with Mesdames Scott and
King Murphy, Paul Blackstock and
Miss Mary Simmons joint hostesses.
This attractive home was artistically
decorated with fragrant flowers,
giving a warm touch to the charm
ing hospitality received. After the
Chapter was called to order, the sa
lute of the flags and ritual were led
by Mrs. T. T. Benton.
“Georgia Land” was sung by the
Chapter, with Miss Mabeth Storey
at the piano.
In the absence of the secretary,
Miss Joyce Storey was acting secre
tary.
Reports from officers and com
mittees were given.
The treasurer reported $5.55 paid
out, leaving $13.50 in treasury.
Ways and Means Chairman re
ported $17.95 derived from the play.
All the groups have paid some on
quota, as follows: Group I, $2.50;
Group 11, $4.50; Group 111, $3.36;
Group IV, $3.10; Group V, $5.00.
The cemetery committee is asking
for co-operation from the town in
this much needed work.
The Chapter was delighted to
have membership committee report
anew member, Miss Dot Higgins.
Two books, “Rise and Fall of Con
federate Government,” bought by
the Chapter for the school library
have been misplaced. Any informa
tion about them will be appreciated.
The ninth district rally will be
held in Toccoa, June 28, and mem
bers were urged to attend.
Sympathy and special prayer wore
offered for Mrs. Jim Bob Trout,
whose father recently passed away.
The June meeting will be held
with Mrs. Clifford Storey, with Miss
es Ella Dickson, Joyce and Mabeth
Storey joint hostesses.
Mrs. Scott Murphy had charge of
program, and a most delightful one
was rendered on Savannah.
All joined in singing “Old Folks
at Home.”
Mrs. Scott Muphy gave an inter
esting account of Historial Savan
nah. ,
Facts About Savannah, Mrs. Stiles
Dadisman.
Poem, Veteran’s Parade, Mrs. J.
E. Randolph.
Savannah River, Miss Joyce Stor
ey.
Members enjoying the pleasures
of the occasion: Mesdames T. T.
Benton, Bentley, McCollum, Mamie
Foster, Effie Flanigan, J. E. Ran
dolph, J. C. Bennett, Stiles Dadis
man, Jackson, John Getzen, J. B.
Marlow, Jack, Scott and King Mur
phy, Paul Blackstock, Misses Joyce
and Mabeth Storey, Vennie Barnett.
The Chapter was greatly pleased
to have the following visitors: Mes
dames A. E. Crow and Garland Bry
ant of Alto, Garral Smith and
Bond of Talmo.
Economy Probers’ Report
Will Total 1,625,000 Words
The house economy investigating
committee, turning to preparation of
its final report, found a transcript of
sworn testimony from its hearing
totaling 6,500 pages. The cost of
the hearing is estimated at less than
SIO,OOO.
James Duggan, official reporter
for the committee, estimated the
record involves an aggregate of
1,625,000 words.
The committee, authorized under
a house resolution adopted January
10, began a legislative investigation
of state government costs January
24. Its life was extended on the eve
of the legislature’s adjournment,
March I§, and after a brief holiday
the group resumed hearings April
3. The record was closed as the
committee arranged to submit a
final report by June 1, the days its
authority expires.
Duggan said 56 days had been
consumed in actual hearings of
sworn testimony.
with the thought that there are not
many good new jokes. All the old
ones have been told over and over,
but even then many bring laughter
better than most new ones. These
are given just to keep the readers
of these columns informed what is
being discovered in the humor
world. .
Woman’s Club Holds
Interesting Meeting
Mesdames J. A. Wills, C. B. Lord,
J. L. McMullan, T. T. Benton, Claud
Catlett, were hostess to the Jeffer
son Woman’s Club on Monday af
ternoon, May 15, when the regular
monthly meeting was held at the
Community Cabin.
The meeting was opened with the
reading of the American Creed by
Mrs. H. J. W. Kizer. The club then
sang “America,” and gave the salute
to the flag.
Mrs. M. M. Bryan presided over
the business meeting. The minutes
of the April meeting were read by
the secretary, and adopted. De
partmental reports were then given.
Mrs. J. E. Randolph, treasurer, re
ported $25.40 in health department
fund; $4.83 in general fund; $17.65
received from recent play.
Mrs. H. J. W. Kizer announced
the awarding of prizes for the best
essays on Citizenship in the High
School. These were won by John
nie Mobley, Marilyn Roberts, Pete
Webb and Enoch Brown, in the re
spective High School grades.
Mrs. H. E. Aderhold, public wel
fare chairman, told something of
the work done in the cancer control
campaign recently put on in Jeffer
son, and announced that plans were
being made to establish a cancer
clinic in Athens.
Mrs. Carl Legg, garden division
chairman, thanked the club for their
splendid co-operation in the flower
show recently held, and stated that a
larger number of persons exhibited
to the show than in any one held
heretofore.
Mrs. J. D. Escoe, club librarian,
gave reviews of several new books.
A motion was made to write a
note of thanks to Miss Joyce Storey,
who coached the play recently put
on, sponsored jointly by tire club and
local U. D. C. Chapter.
After the business meeting, the
program was presented. Miss Gwen
dolyn Hood of Commerce rendered
two piano solos. Mrs. J. C. Alex
ander then gave a talk on the grow
ing of flowers.
After adjournment, the hostesses
served punch and sandwiches.
Those present, were: Mesdames
C. B. Lord, T. T. Benton, H. J. W,
Kizer, Carl Legg, W. D. Holliday, R.
M. Rigdon, H. W. Davis, E. M.
Garrison, J. E. Randolph, J. N. Hol
der, Stiles Dadisman, H. L. Bentley,
E. H. Crooks, Malone, M. L. Mobley,
W. T. Bryan, H. I. Mobley, J. A.
Wills, J. C. Alexander, Stanley Kes
ler, Hubert Martin, A. M. Hardy, J.
D. Escoe, M. M. Bryan, J. L. Mc-
Mullan, C. W. Hood, Jr., H. E. Ader
hold, Misses Gwendolyn Hood and
Irene Rankin, and Miss Sharpe.
WPA Tops State’s Public
Aids as Source of Income
Atlanta.—The WPA overshadows
all other federal sources of income
for persons receiving public aid in
Georgia. *
Figures announced Saturday show
that while the January total of pub
lic aid in the state amounted to $3,-
949,000, the wage of 61,960 WPA
employes amounted to $2,148,000.
Special public assistance, such as
the Social Security Board’s aid to
the aged, dependent children, and
needy blind, amounted to $424,000,
being shared by 35,883 aged, 4,606
families with 12,322 dependent
children and 1,234 needy blind.
A total of 7,328 general relief
cases received $46,000.
Other figures reported for the
state were:
Subsistence payments certified by
the Farm Security Administration
965 cases and $31,000.
Civilian Conservation Corps: 9,-
060 enrollees and $620,000.
Projects financed by WPA but op
erated by other federal agencies:
2,868 employes and $109,000.
National Youth Administration:
student aid: 9,751 persons and $46,-
000.
National Youth Administration
work projects: 6,256 persons and
$160,000.
Other federal work and construe
tion projects: 7,077 employes and
$419,000.
___ '
Dr. Pope B. Holliday, a son of W.
D. Holliday of Jefferson, was in
stalled president of the Georgia Den
tal Association at the annual con
vention in Augusta last week. Dr.
Holliday is a prominent dentist in
Athens.
Thursday, May 25, 1939.
Martin Institute Closes With
Graduation Exercises
Twelve young men and nineteen
young ladies received their high
school diplomas and presented their
graduation program in the Institute
auditorium Tuesday evening, and
this brought to a close the 1938-39
session of Martin Institute. The
following program was presented:
Invocation, Rev. R. M. Rigdon.
Salutatory Address, Edmund Gar
rison.
Address, Dr. Spright Dowell, pres
ident of Mercer University.
Violin Solo, Miss Alice Reins.
Awarding Diplomas, M. M. Bryan,
president City Board of Education.
Valedictory Address, Enoch
Brown.
The graduates are:
Dougas Barnett.
Enoch Brown.
Dow Benton.
Edmund Garrison.
Bobby Hardy.
W. A. Jones.
Lewis Nix.
Bill Purcell.
Woodrow Segars.
Okie Venable.
Melton Harbin.
Lewis McDonald.
Wilma Ann Butler.
Dorothy Elder.
Ruth Garrett.
Virginia Gilbert.
Roselyn Johnson.
Linda Lord.
Sara Me Ever.
Deanie Murphy.
Vivian Shirley.
Doris Wall.
Lanelle Wilkes.
Ernestine Wilkes.
Nettle Lou Wright.
Geraldine Elrod. /
Clara Nell Lavender. V
Willie Sue Brown.
Martha Jo Thornton.
Vance Kesler.
Dorothy Lavender.
Dr. Dowell is an outstanding
minister of the Baptist denomina
tion, and his address to the graduat
ing class was a gem in thought and
delivery. His words to the class
were wisely chosen; his advice sane
and practical, and the audience that
filled the large auditorium were en
thusiastic with their applause.
Sunday Services
Rev. George L. King of Monroe
on Sunday morning delivered a
great sermon to a large congrega
tion. “Truth and Love” was the
theme around which his discourse
was fashioned. His text was “But
speaking the truth in love may grow
up into all things, which is the
head, even Christ.” Only the high
est complimentary expressions were
heard regarding the sermon.
Mr. King was at home in Jeffer
son. It was here that he first at
tended school. Today he is one of
the ablest and most brilliant preach
ers of the North Georgia Confer
ence. Besides filling some of the
most desirable pulpits in the con
ference, he has been a Presiding
Elder, and is one of the editors of
the Wesleyan Christian Advocate,
where not only able editorials ap
pear over his name, but brilliant and
pungent epigrams sparkle in the
columns of this church publication.
He is a brother of Dr. W. P. King,
editor of the Nashville Christian Ad
vocate. The latter headed the dele
gation of the North Georgia Con
ference to the unification conference
held in Kansas City.
Music for the service was furnish
ed by members from all the church
choirs, with Miss Mabeth Storey,
pianist; and Miss Florence Lassiter,
director.
Exercises for the closing of the
school year began May 4th, when
the public was invited to an interest
ing exhibit of work accomplished by
the Elementary Grades. On the
evening of May sth a most interest
ing class play was presented by
members of the Senior Class. In the
afternoon of May sth, the music
pupils, under the instruction of Miss
Mabeth Storey, were presented in a
recital.
On Tuesday evening, May 16th,
the class in Speech was presented
by their teacher, Miss Joyce Storey.
The following boys and girls gave a
most interesting program: Virginia
Kesler, Emily Aderhold, Barbara
Johnson, Pallie Stacks, Donald
White, Sarah Deaton, Jackie Mob
ley, Bert Kizer, Ada Ellen Hardy,
Barbara Beatty, Peggy Stacks, Ethel
Martin, Martha Ann Kelly, Lois
Hendry Jackson, Mary Hal Moore,
Mildred Maley.
Thursday evening, May 18, the
Seventh Grade gave the play, "Al-
Vol. 63. No. 49-
Hoschton Clubwomen
Give Birthday Party
At the May meeting, HoschMm
Woman’s Club celebrated its er
teenth birthday with a party at I htr
clubroom. Games were played in
attractively decorated room. Mra.
Rnlph Freeman won the prlre *nr
“walking the chalk line;” Mrs. J. V-
Booker received an award for xae—
cessfully carrying a toy balloor* on
a cob pipe to a required pukfit-
Bridge and Chinese checkers
enjoyed, Mrs. John Stone and Mios
Eloise Spealman winning top score*.
In honor of the years that tin?
club has served the community,
as a practical working organizufm
and in a cultural way, Mrs. J.* P r
Mahaffey and Mrs. W. D. Bell offer
ed toasts. A birhday cake deca su
ed in the club’s colors of green ;*td
white and holding 18 candles cerrter
ed the lace-covered table. law
bowls of white pansies were aru rfwt
the cake and tall vases with wlntr
American Beauty roses wen.:- at
either end of the table. Mrs. Li gd
Lott cut the cake and Mrs. Hmtm
Sell and Mrs. Bell served punch.
Asa spontaneous and delightftaf
part of the fun, each of the eigjbt
charter members present gave u
“stunt,” and first and second prices
were given according to the “h-*.ral”
received. Mrs. May Spealman ren
dered a piano solo and received find
prize. Loud applause was given
Mrs. Alex Mahaffey’s imitation of
a “glamour girl,” and she was given
second prize.
Officers of the club are: Mrs. W.
D. Bell, president; Mrs. Harlan Sell,
vice president; Mrs. O. N. Dyar, re
cording secretary; Mrs. Ralph Free
man, corresponding secretary; Mrs.
M. B. Allen, treasurer. Others pres
ent at the party were UetdißMK
Lloyd Lott, Ralph Lott, J. P. Maiaf
fey, Alex Mahaffey, J. V. 800. er,
M. Blalock, Arthur DeLaperrvsne,
May Spealman, Princeton Piridte,
John Stone, J. O. Braselton, Mine*
Catherine "Pirkle, Gil.it ire,
Eloise Spealman, Emma Nell N /nr.
und May Maddox.
ways in Trouble.” The me mb era or
the cast included Henry Robinson,
Eugene Whitfield, Charles Moor*,
Bobby Wilkes, Frances Bryan, Gene
Smith, Betty Aderhold, Mary Lyle.
Monday afternoon, May 22, 5 :60
o’clock, Class Day Exercises, witfa
the following program:
Welcome, Bobby Hardy.
History, Linda Lord.
Piano Solo, Douglas Barnett.
Will, Woodrow Segars.
Prophecy, Okie Venable and Miss
Vivian Shirley.
Song.
Poem, Miss Nettie Lou Wright.
The pupils of the Seventh Gr;,de,
their parents and friend ;
in the auditorium at 9:30 cY;.*cfc
Tuesday morning, when Seventh
Grade exercises, marking the sro
motion of the students to the !
school department, were presented.
Those receiving certificates were:
Bob Freeman, R. S. Medlin, Ch.rrlo*
Moore, Marion Moore, Henry Robin
son, Julius Smallwood. Eugene Wnt
fteld, Gerald Jones, Storey P<*r.r,
Bobby Wilkes, Ralph Hunter, Bitty
Aderhold, Mable Bond, Vir. inifc
Brooks, Pheriffera Brown, France®
Bryan, Grace Hanson, Doris 8 alt,
Mary Lyle, Dorothy Sarders, Franc
es Sheridan, Gene Smith, Ella Gracw
Toney, Annie Ruth Whiteh ad,
Dorothy Whitehead, Eva Mere Dari*.
A scholarship was awarded Wel
ter Martin by Sears, Roebuck Cos.
for meritorius service in the Frtow
Farmers of America. Tim scholar
ship is to the F. F. A. Camp at
Jackson Lake the week of June I2U*~
All expenses paid.
For outstanding work in forestry,
a scholarship was awarded to Pete
Webb. This will be a tour of Geor
gia and Florida.
Miss Gene Smith and Henry blob
inson were awarded the American
Legion medals for being the best
citizens of the class.
Martin Institute has enjoyed £lk.
past year a very satisfactory and
successful schedule. The fac itty
has co-operated in every detail in
harmonious work. They have gireir
their best efforts, not only in school,
but in civic, social and religious en
deavors they have always been ready
to serve whenever called upon. In
fact, we do not believe the school
has ever had a more obliging, ac
commodating and talented facaHy_
It is a pleasure to announce that a®
of them have been re-elected, and;
have accepted. i