The Greenesboro weekly gazette. (Greenesboro' [i.e. Greensboro], Ga.) 1858-1858, December 18, 1858, Image 1

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THE GREENESBORO WEEKLY GAZETTE. VOL.I-NO. 42. THE WEEKLY GAZETTE. PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING BY WILLIAM M. JEFFERSON. terms #1 50 a year in advance. Rates of Advertising* 1 Square, (ten lines or less) first insertion $i 00 Each subsequent insertion 50 Professional or Business Cards, n °t cx ‘ ceeding six lines, per “ “X Announcing candidates for ©me# ° |JU Standing Advertisements. 1 square one month, 2 50 1 square three months, “ . 1 square, six months, 1 square; twelve months, “ ‘2 squares, “ “ 20 00 3 squares, “ “ In 00 if Advertisements not marked with the number of insertions, will be continued until forbid, and charged accordingly. jggf“ Double column advertisements inserted and charged the regular rates per square. §3PMercbants, Druggists, and others, may contract for advertising by the year, on reason able terms. Legal Advertisements. Sale of Land or Negroes, by Administra tors, Executors, and Guardians per square, .....--.-.--o 00 Sale of Personal Property, by Administra tors, Executors, and Guardians, per square, 3 OK Notice to Debtors and Creditors, 8 Notice for Leave to Sell, ; „ 33 Citation for Letters of Administration,... .2 75 Citation for Letters of Dismission from Administration, -—“ 00 Citation for Letters of Dismission from Guar dianship, 3 2o Legal Iteqiiiremcnts. Sale of Laud and Negroes, by Administrators, Executors, or Guardians, are required by law to be held on the first Tuesday in the month, be nve.cn the hours of ten in the forenoon and three in the afternoon, at tbe court-house in the countv in which the property is situated. No tices of these sales must be given in a pub he f orty days previous to the day of sale. “’ i ’for the sale of Tcr'-onal Property mustbW given at least ten P rev!ous t 0 the •day of> le ‘ . „ „ , v JSco to Debtors and orealtors oi an Es.ate be published forty days. > Notice that application will be made to the of Ordinary for leave to sell Land or Ne must be published weekly for two months. ,/ Citation for Letters of Administration must i'% published one month— for Dismission from Administration, monthly, six monehs —for Dis mission from Guardianship, forty days. Rules for Foreclosure of Mortgage must bo published monthly for four months— for com pelling titles from Executors or Administrators, where a bond has been given by the deceased, the fall spare of three months. Publications will always be continued according to these, tbe legal requirements, un less otherwise ordered. business <£avi>s. BEER MANX ATTORNEY AT LAW. GRE EXE SB OR O', GA. SHANNON & SNELLINGS, DEALERS IN WX HtLY aaOCBfttKS, Grccnesboro’, Georgia. Keep constantly on hand a good asi ortmeut of Family Groceries, which will be sold low Cnr Cash. July 9th. ISS-tf. W ILLIS’ HOTE L, GRitl-NKSBORO’, GA, rPOE undersigns! ! , j v.r-.h i.-sd JL the above named jm-cie, •> Ijjiftg pared at all times for the ~ RECEPTION OF VISITORS, And will spare no pains in contributing to the comfort of those who may favor him with a call. IJis table will be supplied with the best the market affords. A. L. WILLIS, MrachO, 1858—ts. Proprietor. JOHRT CIIAJETPLE, ROCK CUUTER & BUILDER, Grcencsbo-W, Ga. And agent for J. IN* Gow’s Marble WORKS. W. M JEFFERSON. PLAIN and FANCY, Book ani> 3ob printer, GREENESBORO’, GA. WOULD respectfully announce to his friends and the public, that he is now prepared to do ail kinds of BOOK & JOB work with neatness and dispatch, and at as reason ble terms as it can be done elsewhere. DR. K. F. POWERS, Having 1 determined to permanently locate here, respectfully offers his professional services to the citizens of Greenesboro and vi cinity. His undivided attention will be given to the various branches of his profession. He can be fourld during the day, unless pro fessionally engaged, at his office,the one formerly occupied by Dr. Rea, on Main Street below tbe Davis’ corner, near Mr. Griffin’s residence. — He can be found at night at the Rev. Mr. Hous ton’s, near the Rail Road Depot. NEW GOODS! NEW [GOODS!! JUST RECEIVING FROM NTEWBY OFLK. SOLD CHEAP B. F. GREENE. Greenesboro’, Oct. Ist, 1858—3 m. %w fnbcptnhnt Journal —gebotcb to fome filratare, Jgriraltnrt, foreign anb fomcstic Ictus, Mit, sjumor, tfr. POULAIN JENNINGS & CO„ Grocers and Cotton Factors. Opposite the Globe Hotel Augusta Ga., C|ONTJNUE,as heretofore, in connection with ‘their Grocery Business, to attend to the sale of Cotton, and other Produce. They will be prepared, in the BlllCEFilth PROOF WAREHOUSE now in the progress of erection in the rear of their store at th • in tersecting f Jackson and Reynolds streets, to receive on storage, all consignments made them. Liberal cash advances *u; n m ‘.'reduce in store, when required. ANTOINE POULAIN, THOMAS J. JENNINGS, ISAIAH PURSE. October 29 to DARBY ’S PROPII VL.3 C Ti€ FLUID, Allows no Rival J n America A ! Removes every had Odo R! B ursls into contagion like a horn B ! Y iclds to nothing in supretnac Y ! ’S tands unrivalled in its merit’ S! P oisons cannot elude it s gras P ! II emoves rancidity from butte R! O ffers cures for sores, burns als O! P urifies the breath an beauty’s li P ! II ighly benefits and preservs teet II! Y ou ought to have it for your famil Y! L ets no malaria escape its contro L ! Acts with certainty on all miasm A! C uts short the necessity for physi C ! T akes pain from the bite of an insec T Invites the notice o f Liberat I! C oinesup to the idea of Prophylacti C ! Flings contagious diseaes entirely ofF ! L ets nothing have color so beautifu L! U se it freely and you’ll find this FI U ! Id more wonderful than feats of Mag I! DARBY’S FROPIIOLiATIC FLU ID! More powerful than any other agent in preven ing the spread of CONTAGEOUS DISEASES. MANUFACTURED only in the LABR VTORY OF J. DARBY, Auburn, Alabama. Or Ilarral Risley & Kitchen, No. 96 Barclay St. New York. From which, it may be ordered. For sale by Druggists generally, and by J Ilenry Wood, Greenesboro, Dr. J. W. Price, Washington, Dr. R. M. Smith, Athens, and Dr R W Huburt, Warrenton, Ga. Sept 3d, 2858—1 y. J. S. IS .1 RJ\ WELL, MANUFACTURER OF Saddles, Harness, Trunks dec., dec. TT A S permanently establish JfACV* JjL ed himself in the Townrnßj& LLAA-of Penfiield. He is in receipt of a Fine Lot of Material, and will constantly keep on hand a good assortment of Wagon, Coach and Ruggy Harness of IIIS OWN and the NORTHERN MAKE. IEP 3 All JOBS put up in the most work manlike manner of the best material Hy Repairing done at the shortest no tice. [Sop. 4,1858-ts. B. L. TRAIL, Harness Maker, ggyfYj G reenesboro ’, Georgia WiVTI Til IS prepared to Manufacture, at short notice, and on reasonable terms, Saddles, Harrness. Trunks, Bridals, Whips, etc. Also Carriage Trimming, Repairing, &c., done at short notice All work put up by him, is of the very best materials and “VFarranted. Therefore, all those wanting work done in his line, would do well to give him trial. Greenesboro’, Ga. November 20tb,'1858 -ts. MISS E. KELLE V. A..s -V-ft jjC ICtii 352 jEFS. HAVING • ■■ In the city for the purpose of earn- n the Millinary bus— ness, would respectfully solicit the patronage of the citizens of Greenesboro’ and surrounding country. She is prepared to execute ail orders entrusted to her care in the most fashionable style. Bonnets, Gags, Fancy Head” DRESSES &G. Made to order,on reasonable terms and at short notice. Room next door to Dr. Walker's Office, on Main, sirect below City Hotel. Greenesboro, Oct. 30-to. City Hotel. Greenesboi’O Ga. Mrs. M. T. STATITAM. MIT would be superfluous in this an nouncement to make a -‘long string of promises” which are unfortunate ly too often like a tale “Told by an idiot full of sound and fury Signifying nothing” Hence Mrs. Statoam contents herself with sim ply saying that she will keep as good a Hotel ar the situation of Greenesboro and its facilitie I will allow—feeling assured that tbore person who have once visited her House will com again. The Boy Ned will be found at the Depo pre pared to wait on passengers to the City Hotel. April 17—ly. PAIR NOTICE. All those indebted to the late firm of SMITH & HALL, take fair notice, that if th eir notes and accounts ARE NOT settled by the first of January next, they will be plac ed in the hands of an officer for collection, without reserve. SMITH & HALL. Greenesboro, Ga., Nov. 20, 1858-6 w. BLANKS! Blanks of every description neat ly printed at this office GREENESBORO’, GA.., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1858. POETRY. The Candid Wooing. BY CHARLES MACKY, I cannot give thee all my heart Lady, lady,— My faith and country claim a part, My sweet lady. But yet I’ll pledge thee word of mme That all the rest is truly thine ; The raving passion of a hoy, Warm though it be, will Tjuickly’cloy— Confide thou, rather; in the man Who vows to love thee all he can, My sweet lady. Affection, founded on respect, Lady, lady, Can never dwindle to neglect, My sweet lady. And while thy gentle virtues live. Such is the love that I will give. The torrent leaves its channel dry, The brook runs on incessantly— The storm of passion lasts a day, But calm true love endures alway, My sweet lady. Accept then a divided heart, Lady, lady, Faith, honor, friendship, each have part, My sweet lady. While at one altar we adore, Faith shall but make us love the more; And friendship, true to all beside, Will ne’er be fickle to a bride. And honor, based on love and truth, Shall last beyond the charm of youth, My sweet lady. From the Saturday Evening Pest. St. Ambrose in the Donjon. BV EMMA ALICE BROWN Like a star my soul shall shine With her triumphs over earth, When her future fate divine Blossoms into newer birth, Far across the vale of tombs, Far beyond all mortal strife, Where God’s love perpetualblooms On the endless hills of life. Crowned with one eternal day That shall never pass away. What if earth, despise me now?— What if no one judge aright ? And I wear on burning brow Bitter wreaths of wrong and spite? There is rest and peace for u e Where the world’s harm comethnot— And my soul shall gloriously Live when sorrow is forgot— Dust and ashes to the sod— Spirit safe at home with 4 God! On,the world’s rough cross of scorn My pale youth was crucified— I am weary and forlorn, of soul, and fiercely tried— Out of wretchedness and pain, Oh! thou Jesus, crowned and risen, Lead me to the light again, Throu’ the gravo’sjunyielding prison ; Seal the stone, and at the fc door Set thine Angel'evermore ! With this wasted wine of youth Sprinkle thou tho barren sand That the splendors of thy truth, Which have touched me like a brand, Blossom round the feet of those Who must tread this path of pain, When this bleeding heart of woes Long in silent dust hath lain. By thy splendors and my pains, For my losses give them gainb ! They have cursed me —I forgive, Feeling nobler for this strife. I am dying—they shall live. But the death comes well as life E’en as thou tho scoff and bruise In the ancient days forgave, They who blindly me abuso I’ilv thou—oli, God ! and save. Give them roses for my thorns— For mv nights unclouded morns! Maryland. MISCELLANEOUS. The value of a good wife. —In the true wife the husband finds not affection only, but companionship with which no other one compare. The family relations give retire ment without solitude, and socity without the rough intrusion of the world. It plants in the husband’s dwelling a frioiul who can bear his silence without weariness—who can listen to the detail of his interests with sympathy, who can appreciate his repeti tion of events, only important as they are embalmed inthe heart. Common friends are linked to us by a slender thread. Wo must retain them by ministering in some way, to their interest, or their enjoyment. What a luxury it is for a man to feel, that in his own home, there is a truo and affec tionate being, in whose presence he may throw off all restraint without the fear of treachery, and bo sick or unfortunate with out being abandoned. If iu tho outward world he grows weary of human selfishness, his heart can safely trust in one whose soul yearns for his happiness, and whose indul gence overlooks his defects. A Little Girl’s Example. —A little girl, about nine years of age, the daughter of a minister, was visiting a family where the father did not pray, but was in the habit of reading]a chapter ; the child, not knowing that all was done, knelt down, as she was in the habit of doing. Tho father saw the child on her knees, and knelt himself, — The rest of the family followed, and soon that father prayed, for the first time, in his family. That little girl was the instrument of rst amily-p fayer. Child’s Paper- Lot© and Catnip. A Sketch of Actual Occurrence. BV EDUAB SOMC.RS. FT'iJHE dim light of the lamp illuminat \ I a P a rtment for a while, but at J f last went out, leaving the room hi darkness, save when an occasional flash of light from the fire gleamed for a[moment ‘upon the obscu rity. In one corner, seated upon a sofa, were the forms cf a gentle maiden and her adoring lover. The youth was pleading his passion with all the burning eloquence of impetu ous love, and imploring his charmer to name the happy day that was to unite them forever. But what was his grief to find j that she did not meet his wishes with corrcs poudin ardor . 1 Susan.’ I k tlieu . ceived myself in fondly believingjthat your gentle heart reciprocated my passion?’ She fixed her liquid eyes upon him, but her words were few and coldly uttered. ‘I rather think you have.’ What! you cannot mean that you do not love me ! You will not tear from the skv of the future the bright sun of hope, and leave me to grope forever in darkness! Oh,'Susan,? by the happy hour we have passed together—by all the bright dreams of happiness we have cherished by the vows you have sworn to love me. I con jure you revoke what you havo just uttered and promise to be mine! But all unmoved by his appeal, she curls her ruby lip and scornfully answer*. ‘I shan,t do no such thing !’ ‘Merciful heavens ! do I hear aright ? must I then live on in loneliness’ with all my hopes withered and dead like a solitary sunflower stalk iu the chilling winter ? Nay, by the whole universe I swear it shall not be I Mark me, cruel one ; thou hast been the bright polar star by which I guided my whole existence. Thou wast the rock on which I founded my hopo of happiness ; and if thou wilt not consent to be mine, I swear by the blazing sun, that when he rises as usual to-morrow morning, before breakfast, his rays shall shine on me a cold corpse beneath the angry waves of the ra ging Merrimace—or perchance my bloody remains will be found upou its banks ; and if these means of death fail me, I will swal low jtoison ! dc you hear, and expire for love of thee. Then you will have nought to remind yon of him who loved you better than a thanksgiving dinner, save the con soling reflection that you are his murderess. But his agony, his threats, affected her not. She vtos as cold as the icicle that in midwinter hangs from the nose of the town pump. Cruelly—deliberately did she crush his last hope, and with a mocking incredu lonse smile she said— ‘ You dare’snt do it.’ He sprang to his feet; despair was pain ted on his features ; desperation glared in his eye. With his hands clasped in ago ny he turned an imploring look toward the mistress of his heart and exclaimed— ‘Once more I implore you to reflect ; re call those cruel words or I go to fulfil my thieatand with his hands upon the latch he awaited her decision. It came like a thunderbolt to the unhappy youth : ‘You may go—if you wish —to grass!’ With one bound he gained the street ; fu riously he dashed along, and turning the first corner ran aginst a gust of wind that was rushing the other way. The breeze knocked off his tile ; it had cost a V but the week before, yet ho heedeij not its loss. Like a whirlwind he swept along the side walk,Jand espyingj a blue bottle in a drug gidt’s window, he made tracks like a longi tudinal stripe of crude and solified city mlk, towards it. Opening the door with aniimpetuosity that made the clerk spring ovjsr the counter and seek safety behind a gUss case, he fixod his eyes with tho feroc ity of a bereaved maternal tigress upon the firm and trembling attendant and borsely growled— ‘Poison! give mo poison.’ ‘Eh—ah—what ?’ gasped the horror stricken clerk from his place of refuge. ‘Poison! do you hear?’ thundered the youth furiously. With a t shaking hand tho clerk filled a phial and,overrun the liquid on his new inexpressibles,] but not heeding this mishap he placed the significant lable ‘poison,’ on the bottle, and standing on tiptoe reached it over the top of the show-case to his dan gerous customer. Clutching it fiercely, the doomed young man hurled a quarter at the head of tho clerk, and then hurried to his lodgings. WTien he readied his own room the ex citement had passed,but it was succcedod by a cool deliberation and determination that was as absolutely blood-cliilling as a cold bath in December. Undressing, he pre pared for bed, and then seizing the phial of poison he drank its contents unfalter ingly. Getting into bed he aroused his chum, who had slept through the whole of this terrible 6cene, and bade him arise and call his parents ar.d also send for his false lady-love to come and see him die. His request was complied with, and soon his weeping parents arrived to bless their dy ing son. While they were lamenting over liim\the door opened and Susan—the cruel, but now repentant object of his love—en tered the room. As she approached the bedside of the dying youth, ho raised him self up and said : ‘Susan, for thee I die! and sank back helpless on his pillow. Who shall paint tho anguish, the agony of the lovely maiden ? With shriks that rent the air into shred and drove the ancient tabby from the room, she rushed to her doomed lover and implor ed his forgiveness. She called him by ev ery endearing epithet, but alas, it was too late—too late ! Fondly she embraced, him —tenderly she parted the hair from his brow and kissea his pale forehead. They were reconciled while he was on the brink of eternity. But the poison was at work within; he felt it coursing its way through every vain. He was conscious that he had but a few short moments to live, when his chum, who had entered to bid him farewell, inquired what he had taken. Perhaps there was an antidote. ‘Alas—no,’ murmured the uuliappy vic tim ; ‘it is too late to think of remedies. I am almost gone. The bottle of poison is on the rnantlepiece; I do not know its name,’ The chum seized the phial; he looked at what remained of the fatal drug —dubuously Le sighed, and extricating the cork applied it to his olfactory proboscis — Three long sniffs took he, and the phial fell with a crash from his almost palsied hands, while in tones of wonder he ejaculated— ‘Catnip—by thunder!’ What !’ exclaimed the expiring lover, springing bolt upright iu bed. ‘Extract of catnip, sure as skunks; you are not poisoned at all. With ono bound the dying man gained the middle of the room. His lady love fled iu dismay at beholding him iu his scanty attire, and he, picked up the phial, soon satisfied himself that it was indeed catnip that he had swallowed. Great was his rage at the discovery ; with horrid imprecations on the luckless wight who had deceived him, he got into his clothing and arming himself with a big stick, he sallied forth to wre ik vengeance on his devoted head. But to his deep dis appointment the drug store was closed and the attendant gone. Taking the edge off his wrath by shaking out of his boots a boy whom he encountered on his homeward way, he swore a deep and terrible oath of vengeance on the druggist’s clerk, to be in fleted the first time he encountered him at large and in the open air after sun-down. Horrible to hear were the words he breath ed, and the oath was registered somewhere. And now each night may be seen a slen der strippling, wending his way homeward : at a rapid pace. Hejlias a big bowie knife, and a revolver in each hand, yet he starts at every footstep and trembles at every shadow ! Ever and ,anon, he casts long looks of terror behind, for be fears the avenger. It is the doomed druggist’s clerk, and since the threat of the poisoned man has been told him, he has grown so thin that his employer intends to use him as an illustration to a course of lectures on anat omy. Moral. —When a rejected young man bent on suicide, seeks to purchase poison, let him have it; it is decidedly the best thing he could take, and by complying with the request the apothecary may escape a future drubbing. Secondly, young men—when you ‘get the mitten,’ don’t commit suicide in a hurry, if you do you may live to repent it. Poor Peter Gray. Here is a song to be sung, as Capt. Cut tle would say. The tender sex are advised to take warning from the sad fato of the fair, unfortunate Lizinanny: My song is of a nice young man, Whose name was Peter Gray ; Tbe State where Peter, he was born Was Pemisylvani-a. This l’eter Gray did fall in love All with a nice youg girl ; The name of her, I’m positive, Was Lizianny Querl. When they were going to be wed, Her father he said “No!” And brutally did send her off Beyond the Ohio. When Peter found his love was lost He knew not what to say ; He’d half a mind to jump into Tho Susquelianni-a A trading he went to the west, For furs and other skins, And there he was in crimson dressed By the bloody In-ji-ins. When Lizianny heard the news, She straightway went to bed, And never did get off of it Until she di-i-ed. Ye fathers all a warning take— Each one as has a girl— And think upon poor Peter Gray And Lizianny Querl. Some Nose.— Deacon C , of Hartford. Con., is well known as being provided with an enormons handle to his countenance, in the shape of a huge nose ; in fact it was remarkable for its great length. Lately when taking up a collection in the church to which he belonged, as he passe 1 through tho congregation every person to whom he presented the box seemed to be possessed by a sudden and uncontrollable desire to laugh. Tho deacon did not know what to make of it. He had often passed it round before, but no such effect had he witnessed. The deacon was fairly puzzled. The secret, however, leaked out. He had beenafilictcd a day or two with a sore on his nasal append age, and had placed a small piece of sticking plasterover it. During the morning of day in question, the plaster had dropped off; the deacon seeing it as he supposed, on the floor, picked it up and stuck it on again- But, alas for men who sometimes make great mistakes, he picked up instead a piece of paper which the manufacturers of spool cotton paste on the end of every spool, and which reads “warranted to hold out 200 yards.” Sueli a sign ou sueh a nose was enough to upset the gravity of any congre gation. Envy, —Whoever feels pain in hearing a good character of his neighbor, will feel a pleasure in tho revere. And thoso who despair to rise in distinction by their virtues arc happy if others can be depressed to a level with themselves. — Franklin. TERMS- -61.50 VARIETIES. Why is lovo like a canal boat ? becaus it is an internal transport. Old maids are fond of pairs—but cannot endure .any reference to dates. To Keep Fruit from Wasps—The surest way of keeping it is to preserve it. riie oysters have presented a_ petition against Sunday opening. Women are like tricks b}* slight of hand, —which, to admire, we should not under stand We don’t object to port wine drawn from the wood, if the wood is not log wood. “I’ll take your partas the dog said to the cat, when he took herportion of the din rer. The quickest way of destroying^* 1 weeds” is to marry a widow, A bright thought—“ You may put cart before the horse, but you can’t ma him eat it.” Heaven sends good figures. It is only woman’s enemy would tempt her to wear crinoline. A clergyman lives on the he prefers calm Sundays, because he is op posed to Sabbath breakers. An Irish student being asked what wa meant by bosthumous works, replied,“They are such works as a man writes after he is dead, ” If an elephant can travel eight miles an hour and carry his trunk, how fast can he go if he had a littlepage to carry it for him?” A man with a scolding wife moved into a swamp, where the damp ague was preva lent. His wife was effectually cured. ‘“Husband, I have the asthma so bad that I can’t breathe.” “Well, my dear, I woulden’t try ; nobody wants you to,” A great many persons undertake to build their fortunes as pat tried to build his chim ney. They begin at the top, and build down. ‘,Pray, sir, what makes you walk so crook edly !” “Oh, my nose, you see, is crooked, and I have to follow it. ” A Toast for Young America—“ Here’s to the flag of stars and stripes ; aud may it dash its stars if it dosen’t soon outstride the entire world!” A man who was imprisoned far bigamy complained that he had been severely dealt with for an offence wbich carries its owe punishment. “It is a curious fact,” says somo entom ologist, “that it is only the femalemusquito that torments us. A bachelor says itisnot at all “ curious.” A large portion of the swamps cf I iorida is said to be capable cf produce’ ; five hun dred bushels of frogs to the acre,” with alli gators enough for fencing. An inquiring genius has ‘disk: wed’ the insignia of the Know-Nothing, le says it consists of the American I.’ holding in his bill a ‘furriaci’ by the . .at o: Ins breaches. ‘Don’t get above your las ..cr . as the lady said to the shoemaker, r -as busily engaged measuring her ankle, t „• ascertain the size of her foot. Mr. Hardy, accused*cf keeping a gamb | ling-h ouse at San Francisco, indignantly rebutted the accusation by asserting that he was in goal for robbery at the time. “Mynheer, do you know what for we call our boy Hans “I do not know, really. “Well, I will tell you. Der reastnwe call our boy Hans, it is isk name. Milton, when blind, married a shrew.— The Duko of Buckingham called her a rose. “I am no juge of colors,” replied Milton, “but I daresay you are right, for I feel the thorns daily.” A medical man offered to a publisher a “Treatise on hand,” which the latter de clined, with a shake of the head, saying, My dear sir, we have too many treatises on our hands already.” “It is very difficult to live, ” said a wid ow, with seven girls, all in gentle poverty. “I ou must husband your time,’, said an aged friend. “I’d rather husband my daugh ters,” said the poor lady. A sanctified thief, lieaiing of the proposed bill for the greatly required improvement of the law in criminal eases, made a grim ace, and said. “It will increase our trials •” The following prescription was recently handed to a village apothecary :—‘Pinch Rut and Sini!’ It was put up, snd put up right. It meant, ‘Piuk Root aud senna.’ •Y'ou are very handsome,’ said a gentle man to a lady. ‘All!’ said the lady, ‘so you would say if you did not tlunk .o.' — ‘And so you would think,’ answered he, ‘though ] should not say so.’ A chaplain was once preaching to a class of collegians about the formation of habits. ‘Gentlemen,’ said lie, ‘close ycur ears a gainst bad discourse.’ Thr nui.- c diately clapped their ha..Us to their ears. A capital way to prevent the smell of cooking in a house, is to have nothing for breakfast, and warm it over for dinner and supper. There are three things a man never gets tired of looking at—the sky, the sea, and woman’s faces. And wi.j ? P • uve they are never, for two daystogetu..., ..ike Two persons of satiric turn met a neigh bor, and said, ‘Friend, wo have been dis puting whether you are most knave or fool.’ The man took each of the querists by the arm, so that he was in the middle. ‘Truth,’ said he, ‘I believe I am between both.’