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She pickets Comity; fet A W. B. KIHCEY, Editor. VOL. II. President Carnot, of France, is a car¬ penter by trade,but he is a poor Cabinet taakef. _ Canadian reports say that deer and bther large game are getting very scarce . in that Section; In thirty-seven years the increase in the number of native-born Frenchmen has been less than 1,500,000. There is a porfect carnival of suicides sweeping over the country just now. A •ort of dance of death, so to speak. 'The official statement of the National Socialist vote shows that only one pet fceht. supported the Sbci&list candidate. One of the promised sensations of the Paris Exhibition will be given by a man who will make daily balloon ascensions mounted on a horse. The American railroad companies claim that the present tariff of rates on freight will lead to inevitable bankruptcy of their corporations. SL Petersburg is the only capital ol iCufope ill which the population is Bteadlly diminishing; During the last seven years the inhabitants of that city have decreased by 85,000. KSf Ip 1876 South Carolina cast 183,006 votes for Presidential electors. Since then the number has declined steadily. Last election it was but 80,000—less than half what it was a dozen years ago, Russia proposes to whip all of het neighbors if they will lend her enough money to pay for the powder aud shot. At last accounts her offer to accept a $10,000,000 loan had not been accepted. The cause of woman’s rights in France has progressed to the point of the intro¬ duction of a bill to grant to trades women paying licenses the right to vote at elections of Judges of the Tribunal of Commerce. It is estimated that there a e in the east of London alone 314,000 pirson en¬ tirely dependent upon casual labor. A great proportion of this number live a dull, hopeless, shiftless and sad life on the verge of starvation. Not far from a million tons of wheat Straw are annually burned in Missouri “to get rid of it.” It will not be long, predicts the Farm, Field and Stockman, before we shall hear that the soil of that State is becoming exhausted. Dakota bases her claim to admission as a State on an area of 151,000 square miles, a population of 600,000, a crop of wheat of 60,000,000 bushels, of corn JO,- 000,000 bushels, property worth $157,- 000,000 and a banking capital of $10,- 000 , 000 . _____ Our Postmaster-General take3 ground in favor of the establishment of a sys¬ tem of postal or Goverment telegraphy, and saj’S the ne easily for it is urgent. He desires that Congress shall appoint a scientific commission to erect short ex¬ perimental lines. Sam Sloan, the distinguished authority on railway management., says the only way for the railroad to get higher rates is to put them up. It is refreshing, con¬ fesses the New Yoik Graphic, to find some one who seems to really under¬ stand the railroad problem. It is estimated by the Macon (Ga.) Telegraph , that the value of the annual forest product of the United States is $800,000,000, or more than double the value of the cotton crop. The increas¬ ing demand for lumber has made great ravages on our forests, and the move¬ ment to prevent their depletion is worthy af all encouragement. - The amount of tobacco grown in Ger¬ many of late years has been considerable. The effect upon American trade has been felt to some extent. The German pro¬ duction in 188(i-’8 7 was 84,887,000 pounds, while the average production for fifteen years has been 86,364,000 pounds annually. Poor crop conditions in 1886-87 caused a falling off in pro¬ duction. The completion of a line of railroad in the Chinese Empire, from Tien Tson to Lubal, eighty-one miles iu length, has led to a current statement that this is the first railway ever built in the Empire. That is hardly correct. On June 1876, a line of forty miles long was opened from Shanghai to Woosung; and, for some time, a coal line lias been running between the K’ai-p’ing mines and Ho K’ow. But the Government has always discouraged progress in this direction, and there are yet no marked signs of a change in policy. JASPER, GEORGIA, THURSDAY. FEBRUARY 14, 1881*. the two brothers, {From the Talmud.) Ih Palestine long years ago,— So runs the iogend old,— * Where Kedron’s sparkling waters flo Across their sands of gold, And Mount Moriah lifts his head Above tho sunny plain, Two brothers owned—as one—’tis said, A field of goi ion grain. And when the autumn days had come And all tho shocks and sheaves Stood waiting for the “harvest home,” Among the withering leaves, Tho elder brother sa d one night: “I’m stronger far than Saul, My younger brother, ’tis but right That I should give him all These sh aves upon the plaid IVe own together; so I’ll, put with his my stacks of graiti And he will never know!’’ ' ‘ W • ’ Scarce had he left the sheaves of wheat When quietly there came Across the fie'd with stealthy feat, And errand jint the same— The younger lad, who said: “I see My brother Simon's need Isgreater far than mine, for he Hath wile and child to fe9d; And so to him 1’il give my sheaves, It is but right, I know— And he will never think who leaves These wheat stacks on his row!" Next morning when the brothers twaiii Began to count their store, Behold! each found his stacks of grain To number as before! “Why! how is this*’’ in great surprise Each to himself then said— “I’ll watch to night nnd see who tries These tricks when I’m abed!’’ And so, half way across the plain They met—each one bent o’er With shocks and sheaves of golden grain To swell his brother s store! Good Saul and Simon! Would to-day More brothers might be found Who seek each other’s good alway; Aud in kind deeds abound. — Youth's Companion ; A PLOT THAT FAILED. In the year that our civil war broke out I left Honolulu for a trading trip among the islands to the South, but be- ing Paumotu more particularly bound for the Islands, which lie to the south- east, on the Tropic of Capricorn. There are fifteen or twenty groups of islands in the South Pacific, and while the resi- dents of some are civilized and living like white folks, there are others in- habited by scoundrelly gangs. There are about thirty islands, large and small, in the Paumotu group, audio 1801 there wasn’t a native among them, who was not a thief and a liar when dealing with white men. I think there was two or three English missionaries on the larger island at the date I mention, but their influence was limited. The natives were a sneaking lot, always playing for some point of advantage, and were rather held in contempt by the traders. They would cheat,steal and lie, but no one supposed them brave enougti to attack a vessel. Our craft was a fine, new schooner, built on the model of a fruiter, and one of the fastest crafts ever propelled by wind power. She was also easy to handle, and carried a dry deck through seas which would have wet a frigate fore and aft. She was commanded by Captain had Walters, a very competent man, while I the berth of first mate. Our second was before a Mr. the Sheppard, We and we had six men mast. were loaded with articles of traffic, and our armament con- sisted of one six-pounder on a carriage ond a dozen swords and muskets. The t Z°£T i ° m V ° yageS to Ininh.n A P °° r ™ natives. we encountered the brig ’Brisco, ’which had also been on a trading voyage. She showed a signal of distress, and I was original ‘c.lwtfT/ “ r< TTh Her need of the services of a surgeon, having a bad scalp wound aud two cuts on the shoulder. Three days before,as the brig had completed her cargo, the had made a determined effort to capture her. Three of her crew had been killed, one drowned, and a fifth carried off a prisoner, and only one man of the five re- mainiug had escaped being wounded. In repelling them had the natives thirty or forty of Captain’s aiv been slaughtered, and the ee to us was to seek some other port. We could not spare the brig any hands, but we fixed up the wounded as well as we could, our Captain went aboard to hear the particulars of held fight, and when the vessels separated we to our original course. “I am not to be scared out by his yarn, Mr. Winters," he sa d to me. “f know those natives, and I know that they haven’t the courage The of sheep. I suspect that the crew of brig and the natives and went whisky on a big drunk together, that brought about a quarrel, in which sailors knifed each other.” “But it won’t be much trouble to take proper “Oh, precautions," I replied. no. You will have full charge when we get on trading grounds, as I will have to look after the barter. Take such precautions as you like, though I think it will be trouble for nothing.” My bump of caution is decidedly prominent. ferred As down a sailor and I always pre to snug store away be- fore the storm broke. I got up the cut- lasses and found them about as sharp as spades. The muskets were rusty and out of repair, and the caps and bullets stowed away where I had a long hunt to find them. We were in sight of the islands before I had the arms in good shape, and the Captain had indulged in more than one chuckle over my efforts. There were three of four rulers distrib- “WE SEEK THE REWARD OF HONESt LABOR." nted about the groups, but the head man recognized Of‘'Old by tho traders was known shoulder by the title badly down Lop.’’ and he Ilis left old and wa* ttas skiun^. Instead of being Called ldp- shouldered, the sailors gave him the briefer and moreexprOssivC nickname of “Old Lop." He lived ort an Island known to us in those days as the of shoe, and this was about the centre the group. There were safo channels among the isles, and a craft lying off the Horseshoe was perfectly sheltered in any sort weal her. We were ft whole channels, day making our way through the that all and it struck me as very curious the native boats kept Well out <ff hail, We sighted a score or more of them, but they wanted nothing of us. In three or four cases where the Captain bawled at them through his trumpet we heard their defiance in answer. When we reached bur arichorage it was nearly dusk. Only oob boat cajme off to us, and the native who boarded us acted to me like a main bent on some errand of mischief. He said that tradp was dull and old Lop sick of fever, but that he would see on the morrow what could be done. Our Captain was the only one aboard who could talk the lingo, and for reasons of his own he did not let on that he had encountered the brig or had a suspicion that anything had happened. As soon as night came 1 put the watch tinder arms, and twice during the night we heard sounds to prove Next that we yvere hovfrever, being things spitid assumed upon, different mdrning, look. j a Several boats Came Off. the Captain was invited ashore; and a ! messenger Pom Old Lop said that trade would be good. We wanted dyewoods, 6'ther ! roots, barks, cocoanut kernels, aud he products, and when the Captain landed ; had assurances that we could fill up in a week. Not a native had a word to say about the brig, but the Captain soon saw broken heads enough to satisfy him that there had been a row. Old Lop had been knocked silly by a blow from a capstan bat, had instead blackened of having their fever, thumbs and the women ing. as they never do except when in mourn- We lay at anchor a quarter Of a mile from the beacli, and when to the have Captain returned he gave orders the schooner taken into a little cove within biscuit throw of the sand. The natives had complained that it was too much work to pull the cargo out to us. asked the Captain if it didn’t look like a plot to get us in a helpless situation, and he laughed and replied: “The row with the brig Will last these fellows for a good while yet. They diet don’t seem to cry for me as they ! when here before, but there’s plenty of trade, and we’ll get ’em good-natured after abit. You’ve got charge, and you can point yOur guns as you like.’’ ' We pulled the schooner into tho cove, and for three days the natives brought us stuff as fast as we could stow it ! away. The Captain spent most of his I time ashore, and whenever he came aboard it was to announce that the Da- tives were in better humor, and that we all need not be With apprehensive. Had I not had the men me in my suspicions I 1 should no doubt have relaxed my vigil- ance. Each sailor, however, by catch- ing on to this or that, was satisfied that danger menaced, and was only too glad to see preparations made to meet it. I had tho cannon loaded with whatever w T ould answer for canister, muskets and cutlasses kept ready, and aboard would notal - low over ten natives at once, They had bows and- arrows and spears and clubs, with now and then an old musket, and each one who came had to leave ail weapons behind. On the third day I saw no less than three of them cut a notch on a stick to represent each one of us, and those who came aboard had a smack of the impudent in their de- meanor. ° n th | f ° Urth m T h l S n f, t a na tiV6 C went “ m ? ashore °u t t0 with US i, a a “ d new stock 2” of i r , liquor , all were excused from work.’ He sent me word to let mad! all go ashore who wished, and when I the announcement CVe 7 httnd WaS ,°f> Cpt 0I V\ d A to T? I« asked that had he might keep me left company, and we scarcely been alone when he said: “Hr. Winters, I beg your pardon don’t like for being so bold things of speech, ashore." but 1 tho looks of “Nor I, either.” “I am glad, sir, that we are agreed, for I think there’ll be throat-cutting done before night. I haven't been easy at all since we dropped anchor here. I’ve been among the Feejee, Tonga, and Ph i nix, Union and other groups, these chaps are too saucy for men who haven’t got a plot on hand." “And what do you think of the holi- day?" moonshine, It is “All sir. an excuse to get all of us ashore. These natives have a holiday every day in the year, so far as that goes. It isn’t for the likes of me to give you advice, but I think wc should get ready for a row." I thought so, too. We took the cover off the mainsail and hoisted it part way up, ran up the jib, uncovered the fore- sail, and acted as two men anchor. might who were caring for a craft at We lay headed toward the channel, as the tide was running in, and had only enough chain out to let her swing. We overhauled the cable, and fixed it for slipping, got the cannon aft, where it could have a raking lire, and were then as ready as we two men could be. Ashore all was hilarity and confusion, with natives marching up and down, and beating their drums and blowing their horns. We had made the preparations of spoken of, when the Captain scut one the men off to us to tell us to come ashoie, as everybody was having closely, a good time. I questioned had nothing the messenger suspicious. I but he seen I sent word intend that we might afoot, come soon, Two but did not to move hour tide , passed, and we had remarked that the had just turned, when old I.opi sent u i a pressing invitation, backed by ■ a scponl message from the Captain. j and Tho.sailor oil Cortiing had been down aloft reported with the that glass, ; our men wire acting as if drunk, and that ; every native appeared to be armed. I sent Wprd back that I would not leave the the expected scuotfner, aud half an hour later j 1 general howling climat and came. shouting, We heard and a Parker, who was again aloft, hurried down to report that he hsd seen three of dur crcv clubbed to death. lie had j scarce,y natives gafrtSd the,deck when about drawn 200 made a rush lor the canoes up opposite us. While we were not more than i"0 feet from the shore, in water about ifiree fathoms deep, the natives bad to swim or take to their canoes, There Were lots of sharks in the coves, and so none of theni Ventured to plunge id. WImJc Patker raU to slip tho cable I ran aft to tho wheel, 'there was a bit of a breeze, and favorable at that, while the run of, the tide alone would take u3 slowly oui. Tiuio was what we wanted, and seeing that the ccnobs #crp ready to shove off 1 trained the gun a little lower, applied my lighted cigar to the six-pounder priming, and ne one discharge from a ever had a greater effect. It destroyed I hree or four canoes, killed or wounded a score of natives, and tho smoke had scarcely blown away The before tho schooner checked began for moving. natives wore the moment, giviiig Us time to hoist tho mainsail fi little higher, and When they begat: thb pursuit we were moving down the channel at about three miles an hour, It was lucky that I had cleaned up the muskets and prepared a plenty ef ammu- would nitiou. But for the firearms wc have been boarded with a rush, for up- ward of a hundred natives crowded into canoes to pursue. The channel Was nar- row, but well defined, and while I had the wheel with and kept her going He iired Parker in was busy the muskels. turn at each canoe, and whenever he hit a man he threw all into confusion and cheeked pursuit for several minutes. By and by he got time enough to reload tho cannon, and this time he ratmned in a solid shot. The natives seemed to look upon it fts a gun which had only one speech or report, and though tho solid shot hit no one, their Confusion Was very great. Soon after this Parker killed a man in the foremost canoe, aud then all fell back. We now got the foresail on her and the other jibs, and the schooner crept along so fast that pursuit satisfaction. was given We over, nuch to our kept to the southward, following the channels between the islands, untilabout 5 o’clock in the afternoon, when we met the trading schooner Junta, owned by oUr firm, which had loaded at the Tuljt Islands, and was going the to add a few more packages at Horseshoe, We divided the creWs and sailed around to the Tongas, where two whalers wore refitting. We here got enough volun- teers to increase our number to fifty, borrowed muskets and cutlasses, and returned to Old Lop’s headquarters iri the ’Frisco. He showed fight when we and landed, ceased but soon became panic first stricken made resistance. We sure that all our men had been murdered, and then the men were let loose for re- venge. They were a wild lot, and they felt it necessary to teach the natives a lesson, and the hunting and killing went on for three days. Neither age nor sex met with mercy, and the numbci of victims must have counted up fully 200. The Horseshoe was, in fact, do- populated, and since that time no native in any of the groups has dared to raise his hand against a white man, much less plot the slaughter of a crew and the tak- ing of a ship .—Neio York Sun. England’s Egg Consumption. About a third of the eggs and a large proportion of the poultry ‘ Countries, we consume t u9 from for ei ga say. J ' J ‘ P m Z n ,. ■. ... , , ■> i population g^et do of Great umbering Britain andUeland ;llj,001;,OOP wn n L O nJ ®!?! will I cdcil d to snnnl’v 11 ^ ', of th ® thnS’v.iVe,1°’ i <?<m 440 KlnoiLm r<ws were , , ^ , L 7 1 f f,rm T tV 1 nnrw™ i, * „ ° JCU1 ^ 11C r |!r >’ f . ^ ?' U r/ ’ lo.irrlnm *. P al< ^ t0 Germany and Be.g ^' ® ,. e ^ e nf of P iranaG 1 ® nslt > Jn n??’hm.u»bt b ® the through larger , these countries on their way Great i seats of consumption in jtain ' as a matter of fact, nea y the eggs said to come from Belgium are - lta) 'ao snippsa at Antwerp, liic im P ort ation of eggs from abroad has J!* 4 very rapidly imported of late yea 07,000 s. i 000 in 1378 “““^r it had grown to was elevenAimes - that amount and the figures we have S‘™ n tor y ® a ^ than three and a quar e in og wcre sported o n every working day. ~ ~ A New Game lor Church l airs, . “Changing the leopard spots" is the newe t scheme in church fairs. The minister stretches a large piece of white cloth across one end of the room. On il is drawn in charcoal a representation and its ol a leopard, with its mouth open tail trailing on the ground. cloth About couple fortj ol pieces of circular black fastened a all inches in diameter are ovei the leopard with pins. “Can the leopard change his spots?” says the preacher, It repeating the Biblh al question. car by a simple process. Each one in th« congregation pays $1 and buys a calf spot until the leopard resembles a white Then the game is repeated leopard, until is perfect!; every body, including the satisfied with the result.— Chicago Herald $14)0 Per Annum, In Adimnce. HOUSEHOLD A FFAIRS. #«r painted Floors, Fomo months ago the floors of ninny Austral an garrisons Wero proved painted with uni¬ tar, and the results have so formly advantageous, that the method is becoming greatly extended in its in cracks appli- cation. The collection of dust } 8 thus prevented, and a consequent diminution ih irritating diseases of the ey 6 has been noted., Cleanliness of tho todms has been greatly facilitated, and parasite® HrS almost completely inexpen- ox¬ eluded. The .eotitmg of tar is 8 j V e, requires rcnew^J but disadvantage. once a year, and presents but one namely, its sombre coror*— Housewife. G.tme for Invalids. After being properly prepared, says the St. James’ Gaeettc, boil a fine young bird until it is three parts choked; then remove the skin, pick all the flesh from tho bones, and pound it*in a mortar with a little of the liquid in which it was boiled, three tablespooufuls of tlnely Sifted bread crumbs, a teaspoonful of grated lemon! rind, a sullicient Reasoning of salt, and a grating of nutmeg. When pounded ifiix^ure to a perfectly smooth with paste, little put the into a saucepan a more of the liquid,- and let it simmer gently for ten minutes. When finished, the panada should bo slightly thicker qtiit#' than good cream. It will keep fresh and sweet for three or four days, and can be heated, poured a few spoonfuls slice at of a time, and served over a nice, crisp, hot toast, or in a very tiny dish with sippets of toast inserted round about. Nothing more quickly destroys the capricious appetite of an invalid than having a large dish of anything, they no matter how dainty,set before them; require to Cat Often, but only a very little at a time. Psmpenlng anil Ironing; Clflthei. The clothes should bo gathered hour’s as soon as dry on windy days, in as an the wind whipping and switching will wear them more than weeks Of or¬ dinary usage. night before ironing by Dampen the sprinkling each piece, which should be lightly rolled up, aud then placed in the basket. Do not dampen fine starched clothes until an hour or two before ironing them, as they will be loss stiff if damp cutis a longer time. Dampening collars, and shirts is an important feature of the polishing, as they must be limber but not wet. For collars and cuffs procure a thin piece of cloth—cheese-cloth is best perhaps—wet it and wring it out. Then begin near one end of it, to lay on it a cuff; then fold over the end without bending the cuff, lay on another until piece, the fold again and so continue all cuffs and collars are wrapped in the damp cloth. They will be ready for polish'ng in about an hour. To dampen shirts, lay a damp cloth over tho bosom, sprinkle the rest of the shirt lightly, roll up and placo with the collars and cuffs. The ironing table should be covered with a thick blanket and a clean white sheet. There should also be a shirt board six feet long and eighteeu inches wide covered with two or three thick¬ nesses of cloth, in order to iron dresses and skirts nicely, A bosom-board is in¬ dispensable; this should be nine inches by eighteen inches, planed very smooth, and covered with a single thickness of cotton-cloth. Keep the smoothing irons clean, and free from rust by scouring them well occasionally with powered ernory. who reads It is to bo hoped that the no “non-ironing” one this is an advocate of theory. So slovenly a practice nnironed as that of putting away clothes cannot be deprecated too severely. < thcr care¬ less habits will be sure to follow in tho wake of such a violation of the rules of neatness. If tune is limited and strength See inade¬ that quate, economize elsewhere. no garments aro soiled and washed un¬ necessarily. Have fewer tucks and ruffles if need be, but do not neglect the ironing. and embroideries should be Laces placed wrong side up over flannel, and ironed after being carefully smoothed. Iron the thinner parts of dresses and other starched garments first, as they dry soonest; leave gathers and bands until the last. — Youth's Companion. Rec * p ? S - A ™ FnoTU.-Bake T . , four , large ap- pies very soft, press the pulp thiough a and add twelve ounces of sugar the white of an egg and the juice of half a lemon, or any flavor desired. Stir to 8 a d 8 erva w lJl maccaroons or any delicate * cake, , ]}(, A n( M anci .—One package of gel - atii]fl 8oaked for 0 ne hour in a pint of -water. At the end of this time pour on th(J lfttlne tw0 quarts of boiling hot m -|| { a <i(i three heaping teaspoonfuls dissolved; of _ owc j ere( i ^ugar; stir until ji, lvor to taste; strain into molds and set & ^ ke> Ckanhehry Jelly.— Boil the cran¬ berries and water the same way for fif- or twenty minutes 111 they are soft, {J®Xin t j 8 train thi ough muslin close enough the «ed. pound To every pint of juice put a light of sugar, and |j 01 j ten miuutes. This ought to be very c j ear an d firm. p LrM Pcddino plum"pudding Baucf. * _An excellent gal)C A g f or can bo made f o j[ 0Win „ rcc ipe . Stir to a cream a , un 0 f butter, three cups of . L l0W d erc d sugar. When quite light add j u i re of one lemon two teaspoon- r u | a ' nu tmeg ’ and the whites of two | )( ., lten va r y jg . Giik kkx Buir. Gut up one chtcKen and put it into two quart of milk; aeason with salt and pepper. hen about half done add two teaspoonfuls of barley or of rice. VV hen tin-is clone remove t le chicKCii from the f° ip, tear or cut part of the breast into s mill pieces and add ! ° L* 0 soup wun a cup of cream. NO. 17. SOLD TO STRANGERS. ifhe worn out blinds hang loosely, The paint has nearly gone, The creaking gate swings Idly,' Tho old place looks forlorn; Tho myri le mound Is grose-grown. That blossoniod years ago, And one by one have vanished Tho flowers I usod to know. The ancient treo whose cherries Rejoiced my childish heart, Stands lifeless, grim and groaning; The arbor’s dropped apart— That arbor in tho gurden Where honeysuckles twined; The once broad path that led there Is now but ill-defined. The deer, quaint old mansion, It held our kith and kin Kor eighty years and over, ’Till they were gathered in. And now it goes to strangers;' Its glories all are lied Since those who built the hearth Aro numbered with tho dead. While wo whCGaved it fondly Must give a parting sigh,; A farewell look, and .W»Uy Forever pass it by. And still the fragrant lilies May bloom beside the door, But strangers’ footsteps echo Across the oaken floor. —Boston Transcript. IIUMOR OF THE D YY<r We, the people—U. S. A bridal party —The horse. A dwarf pear—A couple under size. A romance of the middle ages—An old maid’s love affair. Lost in the outskirts—A woman,when she can’t find her pocket. Corners in the stock market may be sharp, but they are never square. “Pridfe goes before a Fall,” and the “Winter of discontent" comes after. Shades of the departed—Those moved left hanging when the last tenant out. IIow to be happy, though married— Let your wife do alt the talking— Bost.on Courier. ■ To keep jellies from molding, place them on a low shelf where they can be reached by the children. To write a good story for the public of a man must have a good upper story kis own .—New York New. Why will a street-car crnductor stop a man from smoking and the next minute help a woman to alight ?—New York News. “Mrs. Smith holds her age remarkably well.” “She holds her tongue about it, if that’s what you mean t”— Boston Tran¬ script. The man who grafted an apple twig Agriculturist into a pine tree reports to the c awktown that he :a led to raise pine¬ apples. “All men are bom free and equal,” but unfortunately some are born equal to two or three of their fellows. — New York Tribune. “Time and tide wait for no man,” but when a woman is in the case, even time and tide must wait or go on without her.— New York Tribune. Easily Explained.—Old Lady (togro- cer's boy)— “What makes the price on them potatoes so stiff, boy i” Grocar’s Boy— * 'It’s because there’s so much starch in ’em, mum.”— Life. Frenchman—“Ves, Miss Bostouia, in the Mediterranean 1 railed Bostonia— through schools of sardines, Miss “Nonsense? How could they swim in those heavy tin boxes!”— Time. Mrs. Scrumptous— “Do not go near that old mill, my daughter.” 8.— Daughter “Don’t “Why not, mamma?" Airs. you know that the Scriptures say that ‘the sound of the grinding is low.’ Chicago dole. Wife (to unhappy husband—“I wouldn’t worry, John; it doesn’t do any good to borrow trouble. Husband— “Borrow trouble? Great Cicsar, my dear, I ain’t borrowing trouble, I’ve got it to loan.” “Just came from the West, ch? Welt, how’s business out there?" “Rush- ing. Thirty new towns were started in Kansas, last week, and three of them have already got a few inhabitants.”— New York World. Bessie—“In the history class to-day the teacher spoke about the Iri-color. What is the tri-color, mamma?" Mam¬ ma—“I think the teacher must have re¬ ferred to yellow, my dear. It is a very trying color.”— Burlington Free Press. Business ways. Clerk—“Why do you want these applo bar: el; marked ‘open this end V What difference does it make which end is opened;” Fruit dealer— “We can’t afford to pack large apples at both ends of the barrel. ”— Drake's Maga¬ zine. “George, dear, what a beautiful dia¬ mond butterfly! It looks ready growled to fly.” “I don’t see why it wants to fly,” high George. “Goodness knows it’s enough now. The roll, plate counter is at the other end of the store. Como on.”— Jewellers' Weekbj. Well, William,” said Mr. Hardhead lo his new confidential clerk, “yon are in a first-class position now at a faithful good salary. and 1 shall expect you to be diligent—in fact, to make all my in¬ terests your own. It won’t be necessary, however, fox you to make love to the typewriter. I’ll attend to her myself.” — Terre Haute Express. THE WAV OK THE WORLD. She stool upon the platform scale, Her lovor by her side; red; Her dimpled cheeks were rosy Ho murmured: “Ba my bride.” . With downcast eyes and ialtering hand, bove’s summons to obey, slot She placed a nickel in the And gave herself a weigh,