Newspaper Page Text
She \ lichens Countn ffiernli).
KINCET, Editor.
)L. II.
|L lan King enjoys the princely
<5f $20 a month.
number of millionaire Senators is
9:d now at from thirty to thirtv-
or nearly one-half tho entire
■ aate.
The necessity for the artificial applica¬
tion of water is said to be far greater in
California than in the older countries of
Europe. __
A statistician asserts that twenty
Princes and Princesses of the reigning
families of Europe have been treated for
mental disorders.
New York is agitating the proposition
to establish free kindergarten schools to
take the place of her present primary
system of instruction.
Pago-Pago, the Samoan port granted
to the United States for a coaling
station, is the most easily defensible
harbor in the Southern Pacific.
John S. Scott, a South Carolina cotton
planter, has been appointed by the
Russian Government superintendent and
instructor of a large cotton plantation
owned by the Govenrment in one of the
Southern provinces.
Mackerel and halibut, it appears from
the fishery reports, are deserting the
waters of the New England coasts. For
the year 1888 there was a falling off of
about six million pounds in the catch of
these two kinds of fish.
In a suit for damages for loss of a son
the Pennsylvania Supreme Court decided
in favor of the Philadelphia Steamboat
Company. The court held that a row¬
boat is not a vessel within the meaning
of the navigation laws, and that a steam¬
boat is, therefore, not bound to get out
of the rowboat’s way.
Garden and Forest urges the Govern¬
ment to withdraw its forest lands from
sale and place them iu the care of the
army. The Philadelphia Times indorses
the suggestion, and asks the States to
take immediate steps for the preserva¬
tion of the forests before all our gieat
rivers shrink into shallow iittLe streams.
—
. ______
It is against the law in Mexico for
any one to read a newspaper aloud; but
no one cares for that, observes the New
York Tribune, as few people want to
read them anyhow. You can get more
news in Mexico by sitting down half an
hour at a popular cafe than you could
get by reading a Mexican paper for a
month.
In Michigan University “a larger pro¬
portion or woman than of men are tak¬
ing by choice the full classical course,”
President Angell reports. Men are be¬
coming scientific rather than classical,
on account of the hew openings in
scientific professions, while women study
Greek and Latin, to meet the require¬
ments of teachers.
In England, France, Germany, Bel¬
gium, Holland, Austria and Switzerland
there are 221 cities having street rail¬
roads. Among these 118 are in England,
43 in Germany and 23 in France, there
being no city of less than 20,000 inhabit¬
ants having such roads, while in the
United States they are found in cities of
not more than 1000 inhabitants.
According to the Catholic World there
are ninety colored Catholic schools in the
Southern dioceses and two colored sister¬
hoods—the Oblates, of Baltimore, and
the Holy Family, of New Orleans, which
provide teachers for the schools. The
number of Catholic colored churches,
the World says, is not more than twenty,
and there is but one colored Catholic
priest in the country.
Deaths from mining explosions in Eng¬
land for 1888 were only forty-three.
This is the lowest record since 1851,
■when the number was first officially given.
The lowest previous to 1888 was sixty-
five deaths in 1884. The highest record
in the past thirty-eight years was in
1866, when 650 lives -were lost by ex¬
plosions—360 of these being covered by
the one casualty at the Oaks Colliery.
The great river of Egypt has not sent
town its accustomed floods this year
t
kd the people who depend on that for
fteir food indulge only the most gloomy
'nticipations for the future. There will
ie no corn in Egypt this year, and the
incient granary of the world must itself
^^>f Be more prosperous nations. Some
that the great feeders of the Nile
H^Hieen ^Lpking cut off by growths of vegeta-
off the passage of water.
' theory is that the large flood a
left dams which now obstruct
■water, as was the case some years
^knd which were not cut through
180 .
JASPER, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, APRIL 18, 1880.
A FRIEND.
As sang the voices in the courts above,
Moved by tho Lady’s shining mien and
grace,
"Lo, hero comes one who shall increase our
love!”
Bo cried my heart when first I saw thy face.
I knew thy spirit was to mine akin,
Dwelling anear on some eternal shore;
Time, Borrow, Death, their filmy threads may
spin,
They bar no shining patli wo shall explore.
Enough, though here we may not meet, since
we
Once stood together on that blessed height,
When, through the mists that veil eternity,
Truth's ilaining star burst forth upon our
sight.
And though our circuits lio worlds separate,
We smile and part, for surely, Omy friend.
Their lines shall intersphere or soon or late,
And move together to the journey’s end.
If now we met, perchance the hateful mask
Of finite vision might obscure our eyes
And dim Truth's fixed star. No boon I
We have mot once on hills of Paradiso.
—Annie Kent, in Harper.
HELD BY A ROPE.
BY I.EIGII YOUNGE.
Egypt has been called the Gift of the
Nile, and everything in the land is con¬
nected with the movements of the great
artery that is the life of the country.
The seventeenth of June is the “night
of the drop,” and is celebrated as a fes¬
tival. Moore in his “Lalla Rookh” tells us
of the power of
“l'bo drop that down from the moon,
Falls through the healing air of June.”
According to the ancient legends, Isis,
the goddess of .Egypt, weeps and the over the
aridness of the country, tear
falling from her eye into the Nile causes
the overflow whicn brings renewed life
to the land. The Cairenes spend the
night beside the river, either iu the
open air or in houses near the bank, and
practice all sorts of ceremonies. Each
member of the family places a piece of
dough on the roof; if the dough rises,
happiness placed is in it store there; for if the fortunate it is
one who not, an
ill omen.
Ten days later the river slowly begins
to rise, and the Nile crier goes through
the streets every morning with the latest
bulletin as to the height of the water.
The great festivity of the year is the
Wefa or the cutting of the dam, which
takes place between the tenth and four-
teenth of August.
Egypt is now no longer a vast lake
v during the inundation as it formerly
was. The water is conducted into a
net-work of canals and reservoirs, and
distributed as it is needed, and engi-
neers are appointed to see that there is
no loss nor waste. levees are built to
keep the waters within bounds, and
many of the villages are connected bv
these, while others can only be reached
by boat. reached the middle
When we Egypt, in
of October, the inundation was at the
highest point, higher than it had been
for years. To attempt the journey to
the pyramids was, we were told, mad-
ness, the whole face of the country be-
tween Ghizeh and the city being under
water. But the flood would not abate
for weeks, and we could not wait, and
so decided to try it.
Selecting our donkeys with care, we
started the out, a party of four, including
which dragoman the and the little animals, The
are street cars of Egypt.
donkey boy, a very bright little fellow
of fourteen years, was a family man,
lie told us proudly, with two wives and
four children, and he supported his
whole establishment ou the one franc a
day he earned by taking care of the
donkeys.
On past the city out into the open
we rode, congratulating ourselves that
we had not heeded the advice given us.
Our route lay along a high embank-
ment beside one of the numerous canals
which encircle the city, and a more
beautiful scene cannot be imagined. The
water was almost up with the banks, and
in the sunlight glittered and glistened,
Tall reeds and rushes with waving
plumes beautifully green lined the shore,
and the reflection in the water gave back
every leaf and twig.
Then suddenly and abruptly the dyke
was cut off, and before us was a sheer
descent into the yellow water. The
force of the waves had undermined the
foundation, and it had sunk. What to
do next was the question.
Yussef got down, and went forward
to explore. Finally he came back with
the intelligence that there was a boat a
little way back, which would take us if
we were willing to go in that way.
Turning, we rode to where a curve in
the embankment formed a tiny cove, and
there was the boat, a long, immensely dirty,
weather-beaten craft, with the
high mast and the odd-shaped sail that
they use only on the Nile.
Leaving our donkeys to the boy who
was to take them back to the city, we
embarked and pushed off. The little
boat rocked and reeled with the force of
the curreut, but the boatmen seemed to
know their business, and piloted us
safely enough, though it was no under easy
task. The tallest trees were half
water, and the smallest were wholly sub-
merged ; and when one least expected it,
he was apt to run up against one, for the
water was so thick with mud that noth-
ing could be seen below the surface.
Men were at work upon the embank-
ments strengthening them, and a busy
scene the green terraces rising up out of
the yellow water prerented. Where the
rush had swept the dykes completely
away, they were throwing connecting
bridges. I was forcibly reminded of the
scenes at home, when the through Mississippi
bursts its bounds and breaks the
levees. : very available force on the
plantation is set to work to strengthen
(he barrier that keeps off the waters. It
“WE SEEK THE REWARD OF HONE8T LABOR.”
■was all the more striking, as the fellahiu
and our Southern negroes closely resem¬
ble each other.
Our little boat with its groat sail
brought us finally up to the elevated
plateau where the pyramids stand, and
we landed, glad to he on terra lirma.
Ko one ever forgets the view that he
gets from the top of Cheops, where he
seems to feel the centuries go by. The
drawback to the pleasure and awe which
the place inspires is the chattering, the
quavreliug and the clamoring for bak¬
shish of the swarms of Arabs that haunt
the place. Thanks, however, to the
oversow, none but our own party were
there, so we wore left in peace to the
desolation of the scene.
Iielow us lay the waste of water with
the winding line of the embankments and
curling like bosom a great seemed green serpent, rise the
from its to
minarets and domes of the distant city,
while over all the tall columns of tly\
Mosque of Mehemet Ali kept ward, .it
our feet crouched the sleepless Spbvnx done
for brooding fifty centuries. over the scene as she ba.y <
. f--. mbers,
We explored the Tomb of Nu
and the temple in ruins, lunched at the
pavilion built for the Prince of Wales,
sunned ourselves in the sand as we
watched the granite monster, and wished
a genius was thereto unseal those tightly
closed lips, and disclose the things that
those eyes had seen.
Then as the shadows were returned lengthen¬
ing, tired and worn-out we to
the boat. Whether the current was
stronger than in the morning, or whether
the crew were tired I cannot tell, but cer¬
tainly the boat did net obey the helm,
but drifted at the mercy of the wind,
and rocked from side to side. The great
danger was, of course, in running against she
a snag, but providentally, though
bumped many times, the boat did not
strike heavily, and we drifted on in the
right direction, for she seemed to be en-
tirely out of the control of the boatmen,
The situation was perilous in the ex-
treme, night was coming on, there we
were, miles from any chance of succor,
wholly at the mercy of the current, and
liable at any moment to be overturned,
At last we drifted towarci one of the
bridges which had been thrown over the
canal, and immediately we were sucked
into the current that poured the with opening, tre-
mendous force through sail which
Just as we went under, the
they had been trying to take in fell with
a crash, and swept one of the boatmen
into the water.
With a shriek he threw up his hands,
and went down like lead. Every effort
was made to keep in the middle of the
culvert, which was twelve feet across,
and in that we succeeded. •
The bridge was about fifteen feet high,
and just as we rushed along, the top of
the mast caught on onli jjf the timbers
of the bridge, and held fast. 'Back and
forth rocked the boat in the rush of
waters, but the hold of the ropes never
relaxed. From side to side we were
tossed with a dizzy, sickening motion,
just escaping each time being dashed
against the rocks which formed the s.de
of the capsized. bridge, and expected every instant
to be
I have heard of the Eastern
ence to death, but it certainly was not
manifested there, for the Arabs shrieked
with fear, apd called upon Allah to de-
liver them.
The boat was half-full of water, audit
took all of our efforts at bailing to keep
her from filling; but the men were of no
use, they sat down in the water and
rocked from side to side, bemoaning
their fate, till the Captain, losing pa-
tience, administered some kicks to them,
telling them to go to work and stop their
howling. them his
One of slyly took out pen-
knife’, and approaching the rope was just
about to cut it, when I, seeing what he
was about to do, called to him to drop
the knife. The fellow got closer, and
had just touched the rope when I pulled
a revolver from my pocket saying: “If
you touch that rope, I’ll shoot you.”
The outstretched arm dropped as if
paralyzed, and the knife fell in the
water.
Our one chance of life, and it was but
a slender one, lay in the holding out of
the rope. 'There were men working on
the road above us, we knew, and if we
could only attract their attention, it
might be well with us yet. But, of
course, the chances were that the rope
would wear away, and then the almost
certainty was we should bo d, shed to
pieces. Half-mad with fear, of the
one men
jumped into the water to try and gain
the embankment. He was a tall, power-
ful man and a magnificent swimmer, but
the water tossed him about like a piece
of cork. We saw with horror his red
fez go up and down on the waves, until
his upturned, agonized face drifted by
us, and he sank to rise no more. Horror-
stricken we sat silently thinking that the
next moment such might be the fate of
the rest of us, particularly the fraying as of I thought the I
saw where signs ot rope
it worked against theinast.
We tired off two or three shots in rapid
succession, and then shouted at the top
of our voices, but no answer came, save
the ru-h of the waters.
ODe of our party rose and threw off
his coat.
“ What is that for ?” I asked,
“ I am going to try to swim to shore ;
I believe 1 can do it.”
“With Abdallah’s fate before your
eyes ? ” I returned,
“ Yes,” he said, “I wiil try it, and
not be killed here.”
“ It would be suicide,” I replied, again
taking out my revolver, “ and I will fire
if you make a motion to leave the boat,
We will take our chances here.”
“ But what chance have we here ? ”
“ Very little, but none in the way you
are trying.” dropped in his
Silently he back scat,
A loud exclamation from the captain
startled every one, and we looked up to
where his finger pointed. There shin-
ing through bridge a crevice round, in the bead-like flooring of
the was a eye
looking down upon us, and presently,
finding a larger fissure, a coal-black face
beamed upon upon us.
Nover was apparition more welcome.
In a few words the captain explained the the
situation we were in, and told man
that a couple of English noblemen were
there, and he must hasten.
Like an arrow the fellow flew away to
where a posse of men wero mending the
road, and they hastened back; but how
to get at us was the difficulty. Bops
after was fiung in vain; we were too far
under to catch it. At last they tied a
a heavy stone to the rope, and allowed
it to drift under with the current. It
came nearer and nearer. We held our
breath with anxiety, fearing lest some
eddy should draw it away from us; but
as it came past, one and of us, caught holding to the
mast, reached out it.
A prayer of thanksgiving shout went testified up
from our hearts, while a
to our rescuers that the rope had caught; the
to make it fast to the mast, and cut
other, which was now almost frayed in
two, was the work of a moment, and
slowly we were drawn from our danger¬
ous position, and towed around to a
point where we could land and climb up
the embankment.
The engineer is held responsible for
the safety of travelers, as it was his
business to keep the road in order, and
when he heard that some of the boat’s
passengers had been killed, he came to
us in consternation and distress,to know
how many and who they were.
When he heard that one was an Egyp¬
tian soldier and the other a boatman,
“Bismillah,” he cried, turning on his
heel, “I thought they might have been
Franks. ”
So little is native life counted among
them. — Youth'* Companion.
_
A Terrapin’s Beseeching Eye.
David Burnham, living in a near-by
town in New Jersey, is exceedingly foud
of terrapin stew, but he does not think
much of the savory “diamond back” in
any other form. Nevertheless, a pet ter-
rapin that some months ago almost
miraculously around escaped the pot whicn wanders his
the plot of ground on
house stands and sleeps in his kitchen
every night. invited
Las October Mr. Burnham
some friends to supper, served to cele-
brate the fifth anniversary ol his wed-
ding. For six dollars he purchased in
Fulton Market a five pound terrapin, in-
tending to regale his friends with his
favorite dish. He left orders that the
terrapin should be sent by e press to his
house, liver-il and in supposed condition that better it would understood be de¬
a
by tmrcook than the butcher. But the
little creature was by no means in the
soup yet, and when it was laid down for
a moment with its ight, side uppermost
iu the kitchen it proved that it was
keenly alive to the situation by waddling
at its highest rate of speed toward the
door.
It was then turned on its back, and the
conk was invited to slaughter refused it. do, Bu and
this she emphatically to
as the other servants shared her objec-
tions Mr. Burnham nerved himself to do
the butchers work liitnself. Armed
with the family carving knife he en-
tered the ki clien when the rest of the
household had retired for the night. He
says that he knelt down upon the floor
and was about to slit the terrapin’s throat
when the succulent creature, lying on its
diamond back, gazed at his face with
such a human, beseeching expression in
its mild, bulging eyes that the knife
dropped from his hand, and he deter-
mined to spare its life,
The terrapin has shown itself grateful, the
but not demonstratively so, for
mercy extended to it. When Mr. Burn-
ham approaches its usual resting place,
under a great chestnut tree, it croaks
cheerfully, and slowly moves to meet
him. It will take a piece of bruised and
I softened meat, a small fish, or even a
piece of water-soaked bread from his
hand, but its appetite is not large, and it
sleeps most of the time. It is growing
fat rapidly, and swells beyond its shell
with a posterior and an anterior
plethora—at least so Mr. Burnham says,
and he has studied Dr. Johnson’s mode
of expiession pretty closely. It does not
fear the cold, being warmly clad.— New
York Times.
_^„_
The Australasian Wool Product.
The wool-producing industry of the
Australasian colonies is one which is
steadily growing in importance. The
total number of sheep in the whole of
these colonios ou the lilst of March,
1888, was 9t,462,038. Of this number
almost one-half were found in New
South Wales. The totals for each colony
areas follows: New South Wales, Be¬
965,152; New Zealand, ictoria, 15,235,561;
Queensland, South 12,926,158; Australia, V 10,-
623,085; 7,251,006;
West Australia, 1,900,944; Tasmania,
1,547,24’. The total of 96,462,068 corn-
pares with a total of 78,888,710 in 1885.
For purposesof of comparison,we sheep in may other give
the number some
countries. For the Argentine Republic
the figures in 1885 were 75,000,000; in
European Russia, excluding Roland,
there were in 1883 estimated to be 46,
721,736 sheep; in the United States in
1887 the number was 44,759,314; and in
1886 in the Enited Kingdom there were
28,955,240 sheep .—Boston Cultivator.
Monument to the Ilambletonian Sire.
The National Association of Trotting
Horse Breeders proposes to erect a bronze
statue of the great Ilambletonian, to cost
not less than $3009, as a memorial to
the progenitor of one of the fastest
strains of American trotting horses.
The < onimittee in charge ot the work is
composed of J. C. Howland, Guy Miller
and J. W. Gray, Treasurer of the Asso-
ciation, who also a ts as Treasurer of
the fund. A considerable sum for this
purpose had already been collected by
E. A. Buck, editor of the Spirit of the
Tim is.
$1*00 Per Annum, In Advance-
HOUSEHOLD AFFA1KS.
A Test for Ton.
A Russian aimlyist gives the following
as a test by which tea can be proved to
bo genuino or not: Take a pinch of ten
in a glass, pour upon it a little cold
water and well shake it up. Bure ten
will only slightly color the water, while
a strong infusion is quickly got from the
adulterated or painted leaf. Now boil
both sorts separately, and let them stand
till cool, and the difference between
them will be most marked. The false
tea will become still stronger after long
standing, but will remain transparent.
Whereas the pure tea will become muddy
or milky. This last appearance arises
from the tannic acid which is a natural
property in pure tea, but which iu arti¬
ficial tea is entirely absent.
Washing Flannels.
blood-warm In washing flannels, make a suds of
water and white soap. Al¬
low tho llannels to soak iu this water
from one-half to one whole hour, then
wash them with as little Iriction as pos¬
sible, what" using is no rubbing-board or soap,
save dissolved in tho water;
squeeze the articles with the hands un¬
til tho dirt is forced out as much as
possible, then change to another clear
suds prepared in the same way and finish
the washing process. E’inally rinse in
warm water, in which you may put a
very little bluing if you like. Do not
wring as you do other clothes, but
simply squeeze out the water enough to
admit of carrying to the lino, and be
sure when removing the flannels from
one water to another that each suc¬
cessive water is hotter than the last—
never any colder.
If you wish to restore the color of
flannels which arc apparently ruined by
bad treatment, it can be done by mak¬
ing a solution of one and one-half
pounds of white soap and two-thirds of
an ounce of spirts of ammonia dissolved
in twelve gallons of soft water. By
dipping the flannels in this, and wetting
them beautiful thoroughly in the solution, a
and lasting whiteness will be
they imparted to them, no matter their how yellow
were being previous to immersion.
After well stirred round for a
short time, take the articles out and
wash well in clean, soft water.
To cleanse blankets, put two large
tablespoonfuls of borax and one-half a
bar of white soap (cut up the soap into
thin shavings with a knife, before put¬
ting into the water) into a tub of luke¬
warm water; when the soap and borax
are well dissolved, put in the blankets
and let them remain in soak over night;
the next morniDg wash well and rinse in
two waters, and hang out to dry with¬
out wringing them at all .—Detroit Free
Press.
Home Recipes.
Chocolate Icing—I’ut into a saucepan
half a pound of powdered loaf sugar,
two ounces of grated chocolate, and
about a gill of water. St r on the lire
until the mixture assumes the consistency
of a thick smootli cream. I ay the icing
evenly on the cake or pastry, with a
palette-knife, and put it into icing. the oven
fur a minute or two to set the
Vegetable call Soup—This is what the
French “Soup Maigro:” Take ono
turnip (if small, ono oaeh of a yellow
and a whito varioty', one large onion, a
medium sizod canot, two large potatoes,
several stalks of celery, and some sprigs
of ing, parsley, them and, after the chopping peeling and bowl wash¬
put in and
mince fine. Put a tablespoonful of but¬
ter in the soup kettle, and when melted
add the vegetables. E’ry slightly for
five minutes, but do not brown; cover
with two quarts of boiling water and
simmer for one hour. Now add a pint
of hot milk and hulf a pint of hot cream,
and season to the taste. It will require
considerable salt. Serve with thin wafer
crackers, and see if your family or
guests do not call for a second plate.
Mock Bisque peeled Soup—Put canned a quart of
either freshly or tomatoes
on the fire to stew; heat three pints of
milk in a double boiler, reserving a cup¬
ful to mix a large tablespoonful of flour
with. As soon as the milk boils, stir in
this flour, which must be smoothly mixed
with the cold milk, and let it simmer
ten minutes. Add butter the size of an
egg, pepper, salt, and a very scant tea¬
spoonful of baking soda to tho tomatoes;
rub through a strainer and add to tho
milk. Serve at oneo, and if there is to
be any dolay in so doing, do not add the
tomatoes to the milk until you are ready
to send to the table. This is a delicious
and cheap soup, as skimmed milk may
be used, although it is uot quite so good.
Put little dices of fried bread in the
tureen, or sprinkle chopped removing parsley in
the soup just before it from
the lire.
Boston Baked Beans—Pick out and
wash one quart of small white beans, put
them into a deep earthen dish, cover
with cold water and place on the cool
part of the stove until they are quite
swelled ; then move the dish to the hotter
part of the stove and allow the beans to
simmer very slowly until they are soft,
taking care that they remain whole, and
always keep them covered with water,
When perfectly tender put them carefully
intoacolander to drain off all the water;
then put them into the baking dish and
place one into pound of scalded Mix and scored
salt boiling pork the with water. one of cup
of water one cup mo-
teaspoonful lasses, one tcaspoonful of soda; of salt this and a half
pour over the
beans and bake in a moderate oven for
two hours, adding a little boiling water
from time to time to prevent the beans
from becoming dry. Finish by slightly
browning the top. The beans are goner-
ally baked toward night and left In the
oven to cool, v hich process improves
their flavor.— Agriculturist.
the It neighborhood is proposed to make the excavations in
of Roman Forum
to cost $3,000,000.
Sign of longevity— “Old Men’s Home,”
NO. 2t>.
THE MITTEN.
In tho sleigh there was only just room for us
two,
There was nobody else to forbid it—
The music of sleighbolls beat timo to my
heart—
And some way or other I did it.
Thero was love in tho air that was breathed;
the white snow
Was tinged with the sun’s golden glory.
Well—I spoko—and she gave mo tho mitten
point blank:
That's tlia long and the short of the story.
Tho wild rush of happiness you do not know.
You can’t know unloss you have tried it,
What’s that? Why, slio gave me tho mitten
—that’s true—
But her door little hand was inside itl
— Vassar Miscellany.
nUMOR OF THE DAY.
A serious blow—A blizzard.
A papor dealer—The note broker.
An old, chronic growler—The lion.
Rent in twain—Tho double dwelling
house.
The newest thing in the dog line—
Puppies.
Will not necessarily fall—Tho girl
in slippers.
The flower of the family is often the
latest tc rise.
Settling the money on a son frequently
unsettles son.
The grocer doesn’t often show grit.
Ho conceals it in tho sugar.
A horse knows more than some men,
for it knows when to say neigh.
“I am only a little shaver," said the
small boy who worked iu a carpenter
shop.
A—“It is reported that you have in¬
herited a landed estate.” B—“My dear
sir, it is groundless.”
“l’our laundress appears to be very
old.” “Yes; she belongs to tho irou
age.”— Boston Gazette.
“This is a pretty pass!” remarked the
editor when the railroad company re¬
newed his transportation.
They stand for office in England and
run for it in America. Characteristic,
isn’t it?— Philadelphia Call.
Curiously enough, the big guns of the
human race are seldom in the condition
to be fired.— Burlington Free Press.
“Nice girl you liavc, absent-minded, that Clara,” re
marked Giles. “A little
i hear.” “A trifle,” replied Briggs.
“The last letter she sent me was sealed
with her chewing gum .”—New York Sun.
Mrs. Winks—“Well, indications I declare! Th«
weather are right for once.”
Mr. Winks (looking over her shoulder
—“Humph! is week old.’ That paper Philade'phw that you Record havt
got a — r
Captain Anson (coaching his playeri
in a game of ball at the base of the great
Egyptian pyramid)—“Forty centuriet
are looking down on you, Williamson
Bang 'Tribune. the stuffing out of ’er!”— Uhicugt
Said a disgusted his tramp to his Now
York associates on return from a
Western tour: “They said I would find
wonderful advance in the West, but ]
didn’t lind a man who would advance
me a cent.”— Siftings.
“I used to think,” said Uncle Ezra,
“thet this thing of gals kissing pug dogs
was purty rough, but sence 1 come to
town an’ soc some of the dudes —well,
maybe tho gals ain’t so much to blame
arter all.”— -New York Mercury.
“Gentlemen’of tlie jury,” said counsel
in an agricultural case, “there were 36
hogs in that lot—36. I want you to re¬
member that number—30 hogs—just
three times the number that there are in
the jury box.”— Albany Law Journal.
First Eminent Physician—“But Herr
Windygrat/. has gout—his lungs are as
sound as possible. Why did you tell
him not to play the trombone for six
months;” Second Eminent Physician—
“Because, my dear, Herr Wfndygratz
occupies tho chamber next to mine.”—
Funny Folks.
A spring whose water is a perfect writ¬
ing fluid has been discovered in Michi¬
gan. Now all that is needed is the dis¬
covery of a lake of writing paper, a mine
of postage stumps and a quarry of steel
pens, in the same vicinity, to make that
—New portion York of Michigan a “literary centre.”
Mercury.
“Will you have a piece of this nico
mince pie, Tommy?” said Tommy’s aunt,
with whom he was taking his dinner.
“Please, ma’am,” replied the little
fellow, holding his plate, “but you
might put two pieces on now; mamma
has taught me never to pass my plate
back for the second piece.”
An Increasing Diplomatic Family,
The list of representatives of foreign
Governments resident in Washington
has considerable lengthened during the
last year. Tho new circular of the State
Department shows that it is interesting
for other reasons than its increased
length. A year ago there were 27 Min-
isters and Charges d’Affaires entitled to
recognition. Now there are 32, repre-
senting 33 countries. The seven new
representatives are Minister Don Jose
Marcelino Hurtado, of Colombia; Minis-
ter Pak Chung Felix Yang, of Corea; Minis-
ter Don Cipriano Hadji C. Zegarra, of
Peru; Minister Ilossein Ghooly
Kahn, of Persia; Minister Don Francisco
Lainliesta, of Salvador, who is also Min¬
iste.r for Honduras; and Minister Jean
Gsnnadius. of Greece. The increase of
the list will make it necessary to extend
the table at the White House State din-
ner. I ast year, when there were only
13 ladies on the legation list to invite
and about 48 covers were laid, it was
necessary to invite lady guests who were
not connected with the diplomatic corps.
Now there are 17 ladies attached to the
legation, and the difficulty would be to
New provide York comfortably Times. for all of them.—*