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@lie Cttwff §eml& * W. B. METTCEY, Editor. VOL. 11. The decline in land values still ooat tlnues in England. The latest estimate places the United States Senate at a valuation of $139,000,. 000 . More than a million colored children in tho Southern States never enter a school-room. More oranges, lemons, bananas, figs and raisins arc consumed in the United States than in any other country in the world. The New Orleans Picayune has sug¬ gested the importance of establishing in that city a technical school for instruc¬ tion in the manufacture of sugar. The cremationists have lost fifteen per cent, of their strength in the last year, and it is believed by the Chicago Herald that another year or two will finish them. The New York Herald furnishes the cheerful information that “the South never began a year with a brighter out¬ look than she had at the beginning of 1SS9.” All this talk about a national flower for this country is superfluous, jocosely observes the Chicago lYews. Of course the only flower suitable to be the emblem of the United States is the daisy. London is to be fortified by a girdle of forts on its south side. The defenses will in many cases take the form of in¬ trenched camps, in which large forces may be gathered, Does John Bull fear an invasion? There has been a bill introduced be¬ fore the Michigan Legislature making it no longer incumbent upon the woman to mention her age in the wedding license. That, explains the gallant New York Commercial Advertiser, is in defer¬ ence to the blushes of sensitive women with younger husbands. A curious novelty wa3 introduced to help a man find his cab in tho wilderness of the vehicles during the Harrison and Morton inaugural ball. A stereopticon screen was erected on one of the corners of the Pension Building, and when a gentleman desired his carriage ho gave his number to the operator, who flashed it out where all the backmen could see it. An English writer says that we no longer produce remarkably gifted men because our average of intellectual power has vastly increased. Fifty years ago our statesmen, poets and orators loomed up among the first of the world. Where are they now? The intellectual average has risen to such a height that the genius of half a century ago would now seem commonplace. The well-informed Joe Howard asserts in the New York Press that “in spite of its splendor, in spite of its wealth and its mad round of pleasures, Fifth avenue does not hold the happiest homes in the city. Y T ou can see the glare and the glitter of the false metal all around you; but if you would find the pure gold of domestic happiness you must seek it in more modest sections of New York.” The enterprising Washington corre¬ spondent of a Western paper recently telegraphed to his paper an imaginary interview with Dr. Wharton, the acknowledged authority on international law. When he saw the paper the next morning he was horrified to learn that Dr. Wharton had died early the previous evening at the time when he was repre¬ sented as chatting with the corre¬ spondent__ “The original Harrison man” has at last been found, and he’s a woman. A well- known Indianapolis woman has pro¬ duced a letter written ten years ago and addressed to her sop, at that time in Montana, introducing to him Russell Harrison, who wa3 then going to the same Territory. The letter incidentally remarks that Russell Harrison should be received well on account of his father as well as for himself, “for General Harri¬ son is a great man, and is going to be President some day.” The present year will witness the ad¬ dition to the United States Navy of at least five new vessels, the Vesuvius, Yorktown, Charleston, Petrel and Balti¬ more, with the possibility of the Con¬ cord and Bennington joining the num¬ ber. The Philadelphia and Newark will also be launched this summer from Cramps’s yards, so that the coming fall will see the trial of naval vessels follow¬ ing one upon the other in quick suc¬ cession. The work on the Concord and Bennington is being pushed steadily forward, and it is expected that both (vessels wiiljbe Jaunched before July, JASPER, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, MAY 2, 1889. KNOW THYSELF. Seek ye the battle-ground, where be the £oo- men found Worthy thy steel? No Alexander need sigh for a grander World to reveal Oh, there’s a world to win back from the hosts of sin, Sorrow, and death: On with tho warfare, then—close with the foes of men, Bating thy breath. Not with the clash of arras, not with war’s loud alarms, Hurl thy defiance; Not on tho tonguo or pen, not on tbestrongth of men, Place thy reliance. Let but thy guiding star, shining from skies afar, , Illumine the way; Let but tho inner voice whisper, and make thy choice Clearer than day. Thou art the battlo-ground-tbyself the foe- *.• man found Seeking thy life; There Mia world within—oh, what a world to X win— On with the strife! Then, when the fight is done—then, when the field is won— Know’st thou thyself. Let tho loud paeans roll, on through the glad¬ dened soul, That, beyond fear or doubt, thrills with the inward shout, “VictoryI victory! Conquest of self!” ) Elliott Coues, in Lippincott . TWO NARROW ESCAPES. An English lawyer once said that cir¬ cumstantial evidence would hang tho King of England. While that was put¬ ting it pretty strong, it is admitted that a chain of circumstantial evidence has often sent men to the gallows. If a cir¬ cumstance can be explained away, it is but a mere shadow. If it cannot be ex- plamea away, it becomes a menace to i-u bibred, P r ' so abducted, ’ lc 1 r s ^“ i e - or A impeached. witness may A cir- be cumstance is a lion in the path demand- rng blooil It has of.en been asserted that innocent men evidence. have been There hung on circumstantial such may have been instances, but they have been rare in- deed. In my own experience in law and detective _ work I have curious seen some things about circumstantial evidence. It is, in one sense, the strongest chain Which can be forged, in another the very we a “ est - About . twenty , I detailed years ago was on a murder case in a Kentucky town. It was not to work up the case, but to save if possible the young man arrested for the crime. When I got the facts and detaus I felt hopeless to accomplish any- thing. Me was a young man of 23, named Ora ham, ana was of respectable family. He had been engaged to a but they a had ^ quarreled hl ^ host about res P something, ec Xhbility, Common friends had brought about a reconciliation, but a now suitor had ap- peared upon the scene, and Graham’s jealously had provoked another quarrel, He had not visited her in two weeks, when, on the evening of Sunday, her 30, one of Graham’s friends met him aud said: r our rival is up at Lossing’s, and seems bound to cut you out. Adele seems Graham very truly sweet loved on him.”. the girl, aud this _ speech made him wild. He turned pale, trembled, and finally said: . “He is an adventurer and an inter- loper. Let him look out for himself 1” An hour later he started for Lossing’s. He passed several people who saw that he was excited. The house stood back from the road in a grove of trees, and from was approached the by Graham two paths fully or intended drives front. to enter the house, but when he came upon He the afraid grounds he might his courage failed do him. was say or some- thing rash decided in his present mood, and very and sensibly to return to town defer his call till the next day. Next morning h*s rival’s dead body was found on one of the drives, about half way be- tween the house and the fence. He had been struck down with a bludgeon. Con- elusions are always jumped at in murder cases. Two of the servants were at once arrested, but before noon they were set at liberty and Graham was taken into custody. The chain already contained several links. Others were added the moment he was arrested. He was dread- fully agitated, hesitated to acknowledge and that he had been near the place, a blood stain was found on the right sleeve of his coat. Before he had been in jail one day even his own father lieved him a murder. He was examined and bound over, and it was only after that event that he began to protest his innocence. The girl who had been the cause of it came nobly to his rescue. While she truly loved him, she had been willing to make him jealous, and when murder had come of it, as she believed. she felt terribly conscious striken and anxious to believe in his protestation of innocence When I came upon the worked ground, the State had its case all up, and when I went over it to look for a flaw I could find none. I had to Indeed, acknowledge that I was without hope. I be- lieved Graham strengthened guilty. His own expla- belief, nations rather ° that ijjj Lossing’s house faced the east, e highway in front ran north and south. The lawn was twenty yards wide, and one drive led from the north and the other from the south end. Graham ap¬ proached from the north. He would naturally turn in at the first drive, but he claimed to have gone on to the second, He followed played It to the house, three passed around it, for two or “WE SEEK THE REWARD OF H0NE8T LABOR." utes with the dogs, and then eircled about tho fish pond, and took a short cut across the grove and struck the road, not hitting the north path at nil. The dead man had' come from tho village as well, and on foot. He had como and at- tempted to return by the north drive. If Graham was innocent who wus i guilty? slightest suspicion had I Not the been 1 directed elsewhere. It seemed hopeless to tioned look. I questioned could and cross-quos- him, but he not give me the slightest foundation for a clue or a theory. What I got came by aceidont. I asked to see the blood-stained cloth- ing, and I found it to bo a singlo daub of blood on a white vest/ It was a curious mark, such as I had never seen before, and when I quietly investigated murdered further I discovered that the man had been struck on the back of the head and fallen forward on his face. Ho had very thick hair, and, while the blow had crushed the skull, he had bled but little. The blood would not spurt from such a blow. Tho body had not been that lifted, and so how did Graham got bloodstain? Accident gave mo the knowledge. I was looking the fourth the ground fifth over at Lossing’s for or time, when one in of the caressing dogs came Los- and leaped sing observed upon me it and a remarked: way. “Old Fan was always very fond of Graham, and I believe she misses him. Here, Fan ( let me look at you paw. Ah I it’s about as well as ever, isn’t it?” “What ailed her paw?” I asked. “She got a terrible cut on a piece of glass a few weeks ago." Graham “About the time was nr- rested?” “Yes." “Then it was her bloody paw that made the mark on his vest that night!” “Good heavens, but it must have Been!” I had a clue and a hope. Everything believed changed in au hour, and I now Graham innocent and went to work to secure proofs. I posted up to Louis- ville and examined the police records for arrests. I followed a score or more of cases to their finish, but got nothing. It was my belief that a white man com- mitted the crime, and that he meant ro bbery, but was frightened looked off. I re- turned to the village and every- Body over, but got no satisfaction. The day of the trial was coming and I was in despair, but accident came to my aid again. I happened into the hotel barn ag the landlord pulled a lot of rubbish out 0 f a stall. Hidden away with it was a fi nc gaddle, and as it was brought to light the man exclaimed: “Bless me, hero is the dead man’s saddle “ 1” <<yp a3 it missing?” stolen”on I asked, “It wa3 the night of his murder. That’s the reason he went down to stole Lossing’s it? What on foot.” for? An Who out- s jder, who stole the saddle for its worth WO uld have carried it off. An insider on i y WO uld have stored it in the stall, "Who was inside? A white man and two (!0 i 0 red assistants. Within an hour I had ascertained that the white man, -whose name was Foster, was absent f or an hour on the evening of the murder, and that since he had acted very queerly. I arrested him, charged him with the crime, and he did no t hold out fifteen minutes. His mo¬ tive was robbery. He did not intend to hill his victim, but only to stun him. n e had just struck him when the dogs Barked greeting to Graham, and, over- come By sudden fright, Foster dashed away and dared not return. render He thought him- Be had only to keep still to se if safe, and, but for my found, being present might when the saddle was he never have been suspected. Graham hanged, was cleared and Foster was The change had been brought about by the fondling of a dog. The second case occurred in Ohio, Xn . a town not far from Cincinnati, A y° un g m aQ > F ™nk Meyer, had become infatuated with a widow older than him- self - Xlis father aud friends made every effort to break U P- The y° un g mau was > final! y bought to seethc;error of his wa y s >. but when he attempted to sever Xbe tie tho woman sought to hold him by threats. This angered him and ho in- bulged in some hard talk of what lie would do in _ case she further annoyed b ' m - Thus matters stood when he set ou t one evening to see her and make a last attempt to settle. It was a summer n ’g b t. an( X they were seen walking intlie suburbs of the town. Xhey were over- hin\. bear( X 111 an g r y talk. She defied XXc returned home pale and excited, his clothing disarranged, and Ins face bleed- in 8 from scratches. An hour later she was found dead, choked to death, ^ oung Myers was arrested at mid- night. , He did not even assert his mno- cence. It was only on his examination that he believed protested, him guilty. and oven I happened his own father * 0 ba * a the town, and the way I came ln t° tbo case wa ® b y relating tho mci- dents of the one I have already narrated, * prisoner himself sent for me and told me this story: “X me .t the woman, walked Mrs. Albright, b y appointment. We out on Glark avenue to be alone. I told her J bat m y min d was firmly made up to see b « no more, and she was very angry. I should have returned with her, but at the little bridge she ordered me to leave be “ threatening to do b desperate the things I ^ ao rele “ t y morrow. did not return by the highway and did as our meeting was a secret one I not xt ltnowi i- X crossed a corner of the graveyard, fell off the fence as I did so, and there my face wa3 scratched by i the briers. “But you hardly denied your guilt,” I said. “Because I was confused and stunned by my arrest, and because I saw no use of it,” he replied. “I have told you the truth. I want you Sohely me prove my- self clear.” I left him with the feeling that he was lying’to mo, and that nothing could be done in his case. thero Ten or twolve days had elapsed, but had been no rain. 1 Went to tho bridge, crossed tho creek at tho point ho told mo to, and soon camo upon his trail. At rail the graveyard and fence where I found had a broken tho place he fallen, I found tho briars brokon and crushed, and from the thorns I gathered several small fragments belonging to the suit ho wore. ditch where Further ho had stopped tho into time, a mud was soft at It had now drftd hard and preserved tho print. £ measured it, and when I re- turned to town I had beg n to beliovo that Meyers was cither a good talkor or an innocont man. His story was all right in one sense, but all wrong in the other. Did he make the trail while leaving the woman alive or dead? An old saying always goes with an ur- lest: “If ho didn’t do it, who did?” Somebody must bo held responsible. After two or three interviews with young Meyers and his parents, I doubted if he could have choked the woman to death, He was frail and iu poor health, and she was robust aud strong. She had scarcely struggled at all, proving that she had been attacked suddenly and that tho grip was a forcible one. He neck was dis- colored as well as her throat, proving that two largo hands had been characters employed. had However, no suspicious and been seen in if tho other neighborhood, than Meyers, had tho murderer, made his escape. I was completely blocked, cident would and could help only hopo that ac- me out. It had been said that the body had not been robbed. Tho only theory seemed to bo revenge. If it was not Meyers, then it was some former lover, and I went to Cincinnati to mako in- quiries. On the way up my watch stopped, and my first call was at a jeweler’s. I had not been in his placo sixty seconds when in walked a stout, strong fellow, who laid a lady’s watch on the showcase and said: “X am going away, and I want to sell this, it belonged to my wife who is dead.” “We don’t buy second-hand watches,” replied the jeweler, but he carelessly picked the watch up, examined it, and then said; “Ihis is one of our watches. I re¬ member selling it two or three months ago.” “Yes,” replied the reaching out man, for it. “Let’s see the name,” continued tho jeweler, “Never as mind,” ho went replied for a book. the “If man. you don’t want to buy, very well; I’m in a hurry.” Albright of-,” said “Sold to Mrs. the jeweler as he handed it over. “The woman who was murdered I" I said to tho straDgor. “Wore you her husbai d?” 'yo3l” he stammered. “And you have not been near--? That is strange 1 You will go with me to He the tried police.” draw his pistol, but I to wa3 too quick for him. and Tho police bad charac¬ recog¬ nized him as a bully a ter, and inside of half a day acquainted I had es¬ tablished the fact that he was with the murdered woman. Then I traced him to tho depot, and on the train to the village, and lator on foi*id cwo villagers who remembered of had seeing him there that night. When I got him reasonably sure I confronted him with my facts, and he broke down and made a full confession. He had come out to see Mrs. Albright that night, and he had found her on the bridge aud q uar- reled with her. She was desperate and defiant, and in a fit of passion he had choked her to death. lie had seized the watch, but left all else, and so the Coro¬ ner’s jury had been misled. The fellow, whose name was Dan Cummings, was a craven as well as a bully. He confessed all and cleared Meyers, but while awaiting his trial committed suicide .—New York Sun. Itiiling to School on Broncos. At Manor, Texas, in the that sparsely of the settled country along line Houston and Texas Central Bailway, I came to a large wood-colored building surrounded by a caravan of horses. I counted upward of fifty, all saddled and each hitched to a tree. Everything about the house was as still as death. “It must be a funeral,” I said. Sud¬ denly the scene changed. and The doors broko of the building children. burst open “School’s out fifty school out;” they shouted, and a caravan of children scrambled for the horses. In a moment the youngsters had mounted and were riding hciter-skeltor seemed over the prairie. tho The Texas mustangs to scent frolic and kicked up their heels as they galloped home with the schoolchildren. With their dinner-pails saddles, jingling and on then the pommol3 of the dresses and jackets waving in the wind, they looked like a mad caravan of Bedouins. “How far did you come?” I asked a little tot who sat behind his sister on a 1 speckled mustang. “I turn dood way—I turn"- “Why, his he’s come six miles,” Inter¬ rupted sister. “Jimmy is only five years old. He doesn’t know how far he does come.” “But I live eight miles,” said a little Lord “but I Fauntleroy on a dancing bronco, have can ride it in an hour and done it in thirty minutes.” Then he spurred his horse till he leaned away over the prairie. It is very common to see school chil¬ dren wearing spurs in Texas. Texas has the richest school fund of any State in the Union, but she lacks the children. Some counties have as much as $50,000 laid up for school purposes. They are just waiting for the children to grow.— New York World. Emotions, it is held, come to persons far oftener by contagion than they spring up of themselves in the human breast. $1-00 Per Annum, In Advance- HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS, Cast-off Gloves. To Prevent Hosiery Fading?. Hosiery which it is fenred may fads should bo very quickly washed. For dolicato colors mako a lather of pure soap ami warm water, with a few drops of ammonia, and wash rapidly; rinso in clear water with a little ammonia in it. Instead of hanging socks ami stockings up to dry some laundressos adviso to pull them into shape and roll up very tightly in a clean cloth, letting them become almost dry this way. Palo bluo is a will Hooting color, and it.—Alva a hot sun or hot lire often fade York World. Did it over occur to you, writes a lady to the Prairie Parmer, to save tiro old wrists—especially tho long ones—of kid gloves? 1 made a very pretty card case of a pair of tan colored board ones, and by taking two pieces of card side covering them neatly on one with the kid, and on the other with a piece of light blue silk. Cut tho silk ana kid a trifle wider than the pieces of card board —just enough to allow for a seam, and sew the two pieces of kid and silk up in tho edge shape of two bags, leaving them and ono long open in both. Turn sew another piece of silk on tho inside to form a pocket; or, if one desires, Slip a pocket may be made in each side. the pieces ot card board in, sew tho seam between the boards and hide tho seam with a piece of ribbon or fancy needle docoration. Mino is ornamented on tho covers with a pen-and-ink sketch. Caro of Umbrellas. After coming in out of the rain let the umbrella down and stand it on the han¬ dle, that it thus may dry drip in from this position; the water will tho edges of the frame and the cover dry uniformly. When placed with the handle upward, as is frequently done, the water runs to the top of the umbrella and tho raoisturo is there retained in tho lining under¬ neath the ring for some length of time, causing the silk or fabric with which tho frame is covered to become tender and soon rot. Ordinarily tlio top of an umbrella wears out sooner than the other part of it, and in the majority of cases may be thus accounted for. A silk um¬ brella is much injured by being . left open to dry; the silk becomes stretched and stiff and will sooner split thus cared for. When not in use let the folds lio loose, not fastened down, the creases are less apt to split from this usago. Dis¬ pense with an umbrella case except in traveling, as a the protection friction from dust the and cinders. To from case is partially due tho minute perforations that appear in the silk in spite of all caro ried and expense in the hand in purchasing. in anticipation When of fall¬ car¬ ing weather, the folds may be strapped down as it adds to the neatness of its ap¬ pearance .—New York independent. Home Cheese Making. For the manufacture of cheese on a small scale are required diameter a cheese hoop about ten inches in with a fol¬ lower, a new washtub and a press. Tho milk should bo taken perfectly fresh from the cow and strained through a cloth into the cheese tub. As a gallon of milk will make one pound of cheese the precise quantity at a time should bo noted. Part of it should he warmed, so that tho temperature of tho wholo when in the tub shall be raised to eighty- three degrees Fahrenheit. The rennet, thoroughly cleaned or prepared, should then bo added, enough being used to produce curdling in abour forty minutes. As soon as the curd will break smoothly, it should be cut with curd knives into squares and then allowed to stand until the whey runs off. Part of this whey is then hoated, tho mass of curd is lifted and broken in minute pieces and warm whey is added until tho the temperature of the whole is raised ninety-eight de¬ grees Fahronboit. When cool this oper¬ ation is repeated until the curd becomes crumbly, easily hand. falling to pieces when pressed drained in the off tho Tho curd whey into is then the all and put cooler and cut up with curd knives; when the temperature has fallen some¬ what it is turned over and left until it assumes a flaky condition. When nearly dry salt is added, and the wholo is mixed thoroughly with a curd mill. It is then put into the bandage inside of the hoop, and is put on the press. Af¬ ter remaining there from two to four hours it should be taken out and turned. The next day it may be taken from the press and put on a shelf to cure .—New York Herald. Recipes. Tongue or IIam Sandwiches.—C hop fine tho lean of cold boiled tongue or ham, season with prepared mustard and black pepper, add melted butter and sweet cream until smooth like a paste, then spread between buttered slices of bread. C o ms'-S r arcH Pies. —Two tablespoon¬ little fuls corn-starch dissolved in a milk, the yelks of two eggs, one quart of milk, three cups of sugar; boil the milk and stir into it the beaten yelks mixed with the corn starch, add the sugar; line pans with paste, pour in the custard and bake; beat the whites of the eggs with ball a cup of su^ar, spread over the top of the pies when they aro done and brown slightly in the oven. Buttermilk Sour. —The foreign kitch-n has many recipes for this soup quite unknown among us. Cooking brings out the acia, but once used to that taste one finds the soup good and wholesome. To each pint of buttermilk one tablespoon of Uour and one tablespoon butter, a little salt. Bring gradually to a boil, and stirring constantly to prevent curdling, pour on fried bread. Sugar and cinnamon the yolk are often added to this; also aud beaten white of one egg. This is nutritious for tho sick. The Germans add sometimes small potatoes or bits of fried bacon. In the latter case the butter is omitted. NO. 28. WISHES. I would I might approach tlieo, As the moon draws noar tho cloud, What still and statoly courtesy^ Cleor-eyod and solomn-browcd; But, when thoir mooting comes, her face In his deep bronst doth hide, Tho heavons aro still, in solemn joy,, The world is gloriflod. I would l might approach thoo, As music, swift alloat, Surprisos, with its sudden joy, A wanderor in a boat; Tho sordid walls of life fall down Before that clarion dear; ( A passing rapture oft recalled When days grow blank and drear. I would I might approach theo, As breezes fresh and puro. Unsighted, breathe on fevered lips, And throbbing temples cure; As Joy, and Lovo, and healthful Hopo, Visit some chosen heart, And entor, softly welcomed there, And never more depart. -- Julia Ward Howe. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Some men kick against a bill, and others foot it. Tlioso who wish to see ice in August saw ice iu February. Life. Crumbs of comfort are not tho oneB which a mean joker scatters in his room¬ mate’s bed. There are men who are really wise. To be wiso in one’s own conceit is other¬ wise. — Picayune. Tho policeman often finds himself in a tight placo. lie gets into it through tho Bide door.— New York News. , When men aro dry quite usoloss aro All efforts to prohibit ’era, They’ll soeksomo still socludod bar And drink and drink ad libitum. —Merchant Traveler. You can no more toll a man’s ability by the size of his liat, than you can toll his strength by measuring his ovorcoat- Bhouldors. Dasher— “I hope you don’t object to my smoking.” Kcv. Mr. Myldc—“N— not in the least, if—you don’t object to my being sick. Pick Me Up. Never offer dates to an old maid. They are to suggestive. the But pairs twins may be presented to mother of without offense. — New York News. ./ | Foolish talk is very wrong, forsooth, the ' | We Though tho you truth may ’tis think bad in it all youth, rage; tell And, certainly, its badinage. —GooclalVs Sun. Senior Surgeon—“How’s that case of heart trouble coming on?” Junior Sur¬ geon (forgetting himself)—“It’s all settled, doctor; Judge. she accepted me this morning. ”— Matrimony has been called one of tho States of the Union, and couples who enter this state and engage in domestic broils, will soon iind the union going to pieces .—New York News. A And pirato all took bis neighbors to gardening laugiiod onco When ho said he took’a turnip patch 1 And raked it fore and aft. —Merchant Traveler. A Possible Exception.—Wifo—“Isn’t handsome it a fact, dear, that men aro proverbially disagreeable?” Husband— “Well, I don’t know. I always try to be pleasant .”—The Epoch. Old Lady (in drugstore)—“Canltako with this medicine, young fellow, im¬ punity?” Boy (busy selling impunity, stamps)—■ “Yes, you can take it with or with a little milk and lime water.” “Will you como to our poverty party, sirlH Asked n merry awl frolicsome elf; I bad to say “no”—this excuse I gave her: “I’m a poverty party, 'myself.” —GoodaWa Sun. A Cleveland man recently loaned a five-hundred-dollar diamond ring to a Euclid avenue girl. It fitted so snugly that she couldn’t get it off, and he had to many her to recover it.— Drake's Magazine. i Mrs. 8. R. Kastieh—“I understand you had a narrow escape at the hotel tire, Mr. Slim.” Mr. Slim—“Very, I had to slide from tho third floor down the water pipe.” Mrs. Kastieh -“Insido the pipe or outside ?”—Terre Haute Ex¬ press. Mrs. Youngwife—“Oh, George, how utterly heartless, almost wicked, wo Jiave become!” Husband-“Eh? What?” “It’s awful to be so neglectful of heaven’s choicest blessings. We week.”—' haven’t had baby’s picture taken for a Philadelphia Record. Mr. Jackson, of Vincennes, Ind., camo homo and told his wife that the coal supply of the world would last only 900 years more, and she fell in a faint and broke her arm. Bhe afterward romem- bered that they had always burned wood .—Detroit Free Press. ills Bride Made Him Smugglo. Here Belgian is a good frontier. smuggling newly story married from the A couplo were Brussels. returning to Germany after a tour to As tho train ap- p r0 acbed tho frontier the bride grew uneasy, quantity and presently-confessed of finest Brussels that lace she in had a her bag on whi'h a high duty would have to be paid. “Put it inside your hat,” This she pleaded, done. The Custom House was officials looked through the boxes of the elegant young lady, the knowing by daring experi- of ence that such aro most smugglers, but found nothing. Tho chief officer, tho charmed by accompanied the amiable, manners of husband, the couple to the traiD, when the wretched husband, forgetting his secret in the joy of having escaped, raised his hat to the officer, and was instantly en- veloped in a soft white veil. Tableau.-— Pall Mall Gazette. - ----,