Newspaper Page Text
tr% s Cotuitj) ♦
W. B. MINCET, Editor.
VOL. II.
It is proposed to reopen the Paris Ex¬
position next year.
The Standard Oil tjpmpany is now
acquiring numerous natural gas wells.
After a struggle of eighty years the
French law has sanctioned cremation.
As an agent of destruction, the cloud¬
burst seems to have usurped the place ol
the cyclone.
WyomiEg is one of the few places
where , women are recognized . as tho ,, equals .
of men before the law, They can vote,
they can hold office, they can sit on
juries, and the Latest advices from that
Territory describe how they hanged a
woman on the same limb of a big cotton-.
wood tree with a man, one dangling at
each , end , of „ the provi e , , ,,
lope or ic
occasion. Wyoming scorns any sex dis-
criminations.
A budget speech, says the Montreal
(Canada) Witness, is a strange place to
look for a statement of the value of ad¬
vertising. Yet a very important one is
found in Mr. Goshen’s budget address be¬
fore the English Parliament, during which
he attributed the increase in the use of
cocoa to its being better advertised than
coflee. Mr. Gladstone, it is well known,
considers newspaper advertising as one of
the great levers of the world.
Says the Washington Post: “When en¬
tire business houses are given over to dog
furnishings; when dogs are given Turk¬
ish baths and have special attendants,
special toilet combs, brushes and per¬
fumes ; when dogs sleep on eider down
cushions and eat special dishes off indi¬
vidual services, isn’t it time we dropped
the phrase, ‘treated like a dog?’ ‘Treated
like a man,’ would have the better ap¬
plication in multitudes of cases.”
“The dervishes of Egypt do not seem,”
state the New York Voice, “to accept
their defeat at the hands of the British,
but are pushing on just the same. It will
not be a great disadvantage if they force
the issue and compel England to occupy
Khartoum and practically annex Egypt.
If she does not do this she must back out
of Egypt altogether. France will then
enter and the latter state will be worse
than the first, for France has not and
never lias had a successful colony.”
That Canada is to have a direct cable to
Great Britain is nearly a settled fact. Its
consummation however, depends on the
Dominion Government. Application is
being made to the Government to guaran¬
tee bonds of the Canadian Cable Com¬
pany to the extent of half a million dol¬
lars. The total capital required is
$1,000,000. Dobell, of Quebec, has
already secured §350,000 of this in Eng¬
land by private subscription. It will be
the shortest ocean cable of any. Enter¬
ing the water at Westport, Ireland, it
•will run to Greenly Islands, in the Gulf
of St. Lawrence, a distance of only 1900
miles.
For some time the United States War
Department has had under consideration
the removal of about 400 Apaches, includ¬
ing the members of Geronimo’s band, and
a number of Indian scouts who served in
the campaigns against Geronimo, to a
■new reservation. The Indians desire high,
cool lands where they can farm and raise
cattle and a part of the Cherokee reserva¬
tion on Smoky Mountains on the line be¬
tween North Carolina and Tennessee,
meets with most favor and the Massachu¬
setts Indian Association offer to purchase
the necessary land for the Indians. It is
thought that the Apaches can be made
self-supporting and law adiding in three
years.
At Castle Garden, New York city, there
are many theories of a great decline in
European immigration to this country
during the first half of the current year.
It is said to be owing to the reduction of
the surplus population of several countries
of Europe by the immigration of past
years, to the difficulties encountered by
many immigrants in finding employment
here, to the new inducement offered to
settlers by several South American Gov¬
ernments, to the action of our consuls
abroad in preventing undesirable persons
from leaving for New York, and to the
strict enforcement here of the contract
taw. The falling off in the arrivals at
Castle Garden during the first half of the
year as compared with those in the corre¬
sponding period of last year was nearly
57 par cent, or from 239,325 to 173,678;
and this falling off was from all the Eu¬
ropean countries from which immigrants
.ofrmn to the United State*.
JASPER, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1881).
SOME DAY.
“They’ll all come back again,” she said.
That by-gone summer day,
The while we watched the goodly ships
Upon the placid bay.
“They sail so far, they sail so fast, upon their
shining way,
But they will come again, I know, some.day
—some other day.”
Some day! So many a watcher sighs,
When wind-swept waters moan,
With tears pressed back, still strives to 1
dream ,
Of the glad coming home.
Good shi P s sail on °’ er “JOT ™ves, ’ neath!>
skies all tempest gray,
^ quivering Ups so Wely toll: .. They >n
come again—someday!”
gomoday! We say it o’er and o’er,
To cheat our hearts, the while
We send our cherished ventures forth,
Perchance with sob or smile;
And tides run out, and time runs on, our
ebbs fast away,
Andyet with straining eyes we watch
that sweet myth—someday!
full many a true and heart-sy^fbark
May harbor find no more,
But Hope her beaeon-light will trim
For watchers on the shore;
And those who bide at home and those upon',
the watery way,
In toil or waiting, still repeat: “Some day
—some blessed day!”
—Lucy R. Fleming , in Harper's
A FADING PICTURE,
BY GEORGE HALE.
It was a brilliant day in early summer;
but the outer blinds on the windows of
the waiting room of Henry Milford’s closed
photographic establishment were dark
so that the room seemed almost
to one just come in from the sun-lit
street. As the eye grew accustomed,
however, to the semi-twilight, the relief
from the outer glare was grateful, At
one side through an opening partially
closed by a heavy curtain a little glimpse
could be had of the operating room, or
studo, as Milford preferred to have it
called.
Mr. Milford was busily engaged in pre¬
paring for the printing of some pictures
which seemed to him to require more par¬
ticular care and attention than usual, and.
it did not please him to be interrupted.
Such a day for work seldom came to him.
It did not allay his irritation any to be
asked abruptly, as he was, upon entering
the waiting room.
“Mr. Milford, can you take a picture
for me?”
The young lady who asked this turned
her attention almost immediately to some
examples of Mr. Milford’s work hanging
on the walls.
“It is almost impossible to see these, it
is so dark,” she said, “but it is so pleas¬
ant to escape the horrid glare of the
street.”
Henry Millford was fond of his work,
which he considered art, and he had car¬
ried it to a rare degree of perfection. He
was very conscientious, too, and in pos¬
ing his sitters before the camera be would
take as much care and exercise as much
intelligence as could any artist in arrang¬
ing his models or draperies. He was
proud of his finished work, and alway s
impatient of criticism. It was for this
reason, perhaps, that he had made him¬
self somewhat exclusive. At all events,
whatever the reason, he would discrimin¬
ate as he pleased among the many appli¬
cants for sittings. To those whose ap¬
pearance or manners did not please him,
he would always say that he had too many
engagements to take their pictures. In
truth, he had obtained such a reputation
and had so many applications that he was
almost compelled to select from them.
“I am very busy—I do not know,” he
replied. his caller,
Miss Mitchell, present was
a little annoyed and perhaps a little sur¬
prised as well. continued,
“You see,” Mr. Milford
“In this climate of ours one has so few
days in which he can work. Unfortu¬
nately, I am compelled to think very much
about the weather.”
On this particular day there seemed to
be very little reason for this backward-
ness. Indeed, inasmuch as he had made
Op his mind that he would really like to
take Miss Mitchell’s picture, this pretence
of not wishing to do so was folly; but habit
was much too strong for him.
“Pardon me 1” she said. “I did not
know. I thought that this would be
just the sort of day.”
“And so it really is,” he said quickly.
“If you sit here a few minutes I will ar¬
range the room and camera.”
He answered with such alacrity add
his manner had so changed that Julia
Mitchell was surprised more than ever.
She was not sure that she was not fright¬
ened a little. He, however, had carefully
studied her and had decided just the pose
which he thought would suit her. He
was now as enthusiastic as be had before
been otherwise.
“These perhaps will interest you while
you are waiting,” he said, as he placed
in her hand several photographs.
“But,” she replied, “I ought to make
some preparations, too.”
“Oh, your hat,” he said, “and your
hair. But I wish you would let me take
the first one of you just as you are.”
It seemed to him that he could not
quickly enough make the necessary ar¬
rangements ; but at last everything was
ready and Julia Mitchell’s wish was grati¬
fied; at least, four negatives had been
made 1 she hoped soon which to receive a
finishes picture of herself would
jatoeber.
“WE SEEK THE REWARD OF HONEST LABOR."
Time went on and Miss Mitchell
not receive her pictures < as promptly as
she had hoped she might. She called
Mr. Milford to urge him to greater haste,
but he met all her complaints with good
humor, yet made very little effort to
please her. In truth, he enjoyed her
visits, and, perhaps, he purposely delayed
the completion of her pictures in order
that she might be led in as often as pos¬
sible. Her impatience with the delay
rather amused him, and their talk was in¬
teresting to him. And so, indeed, it was
to her, although, it may be, she would
not have so acknowledged, if she had
IfjQU questioned. It especially pleased
her when he showed her pictures, from
time to time, as he finished them.
There soon came a day, however, when
he had to confess that although her pic¬
tures were not finished, the negatives
promised well. said Mr. Milford, “weshall
“I think,”
have some very good things there.”
“Oh, let me see them,” Miss Mitchell
answered. “I want to know what I look
like.”
This was going ahead a little too fast
to please Milford.
“I do not think you can tell,” he said,
‘ ‘I would much rather have you wait till
they are quite completed. There is so
much in the printing, you know.”
“Yes,” she replied dolefully, “I sup¬
pose so, but do let me see the nega¬
tives. Then perhaps I shall know just
how much there is in the printing. ”
Milfqrd demurred, but finally yielded.
She took the negatives and looked them
over critically. When she handed them
back she expressed her gratification with
them.
Milford kept one of the completed
pictures and guarded it with jealous care.
He was, it must be confessed, sometimes
tempted to exhibit it as an example of
the perfection to which his art could be
carried, but this temptation never lasted
long. He kept it by him, however, as
much as he safely could. At his break¬
fast, which he took in a lonely way in
his apartments, he had it before him at
the table; and, as often through the day
as he could, he would hasten from his
studio to steal a parting glance at it.
It seemed to him that it varied in ap¬
pearance from day to day. He thought
that he could read in it of Miss Mitch-
el’s changing moods. If the eyes lost
their sad expression, and were smiling,
as they sometimes were, he felt that she
was happy; if they were more sad than
usual he wondered what had happened
to distress her. And sometimes, too,
he would discover it in other signs,
and then he feared that she was ill.
Alarmed at its growing power over him,
and annoyed that he was so little able to
resist its influence, he at last placed it in
a seldom used portfolio, again. He was This deter¬ de¬
mined not j,o look at it
termination he adhered to for some time,
perhaps a week or longer. In the mean¬
time Miss Mitchell’s visits had entqely
ceased. Milford knew that there was no
reason why she should call, and he
laughed somewhat sadly as he admitted
to himself that he wished it had been
otherwise. He now resolutely deter¬
mined that he would forget her, and that
he would not again look upon the picture;
but he found himself thinking much more
of Miss Mitchell and of the picture than
of matters needing liis attention. One
day he took the portrait from its hiding
place and examined it carefully,
He was startled. It seemed fo him
that the picture was less distinct than it
had been. So much was he impressed
that he looked at it frequently thereafter,
and was soon convinced that he had been
right, that it was growing less and less dis¬
tinct. Though interested more than ever,
and puzzled as well, he again determined
that he would think of it no longer,
and replaced the picture in the port¬
folio. He busied himself so successfully
that he was able to overcome, in some
measure, his longing for the picture and
its original; but for a few days only.
Then he hastened again to the portfolio.
There could he no question about it; the
picture had perceptibly faded since he bad
last looked at it, It was now barely dis¬
cernible,
“It ha3 almost gone,” he said to him¬
self sadly, “and she—can it be that she
is going too?”
This thought almost unmanned him.
Now he realized for the first time what
her loss would mean to him; now he
knew how empty would be his life if she
should be taken away.
He was at this moment called upon by
a gentleman who surprised him by ask¬
ing:
“Will it be possible forme to procure
some duplicates of Mitchell?” the pictures yog re¬
cently took to Miss
Milford’s annoyance was apparent, but
he tried to say, politely;
“I should be glad to oblige you, sir;
but of course it would not be proper for
me to do as you ask.”
“Indeed! Why, may I ask?”
“You can readily see that I cannot dis¬
pose of any duplicates except at the re¬
quest of the sitters themselves.”
“Oh, certainly! But I come at the re¬
quest of Miss Mitchell.”
“Is she not well, then?” asked Milford
in quick indeed, alarm. she has ill.”
“No; been very
“I will prepare them for you at once,”
Milford said, anxious now to be rid of
his visitor as quickly as possible, and
hurriedly making a note of the order
given him.
“At least,” he said to himself, “at
least, I shall know about her.”
Yielding to his sudden panic, he
seized his hat and rushing from his
studio, with little thought of the crowd¬
ing carriages, he ran across Broadway,
and then almost disregarding the people
against vhom he jostled in his hurry, he
hastened on to the street in which Miss
Mitchell lived.
As he.ran he would not permit himself
to tell what it was he feared; but as he
neared the house there was the very sight
he had most dreaded. That long line of
carriages lie .could have but one meaning;
and now hoped only to see her face
once inoie.
tho Eluding the grasp of the attendant at
door ( he entered the house, and the
sound of music reached him, music that
he knew w be full of joy and hope to
others, though to^kim it seemed a knell.
As Milford turned to go sorrowfully
away, realizing now the truth, Miss
Mitchell, leaning on another’s arm, came
out into the ball and bright and happy
faces crowded about her, while laughing-
voices wished her happiness and good
fortune.--YAc Epoch.
SELECT SIFTINGS.
Spinach is a Persian plant.
Horse-radish is a native of England.
Oysters deposit about 1,000,000 eggs.
A singing mussel if found on the coast
of Ceylon.
The American silver dollar first made
its appearance in 1794.
A tax upon playing-cards is universal
in Europe, with the exception of Spain.
Fish were created first, and they are
the lowest and most numerous of animals.
Seals will follow a boat a long distance
in which some one is playing on a hag-
pipe.
Schoo’ district libraries were first es¬
tablished in the State of New York in
1837.
Next to music the weather probably af¬
fects the animal creation more than any¬
thing else.
Two hundred and fifty thousand per¬
sons perished in Antioch by the earth¬
quake of 526. ,
The 8,oics lauded suicide as a praise¬
worthy action, and the Roman law did
not looi upon it is a venial crime.
The 1 idency to suicide is more preva¬
lent ari ng the educated and wealthy
than ng the poorer and middle
classes
The landers bury with a child a
it in the other world, say-
ing: ■V dog can find his way any-
where.
A remarkable cave in Stone County,
Kan., twelve ij miles, said to to have have two been rivers explored and mill¬ foi
ions of fiats.
vention; Higij heeled shoes are no the modern easliesi in-
they go back to
bigger Henry; and the top piece shaped was often no
than a shilling like a
heart.
Snails will come abropi-d just before a
rain, t id begin to climb trees and plants,
concealing themselves oiv^e under-side
of a leaf if it is going to be a severe
storm.
Mrs. James Gallagher, a resident of
Brooklyn, began sneezing the other even¬
ing, and she had got the tally up to 2040
times when the doctors finally found a
remedy.
The name “United States of America”
was first applied to the colonies in the
famous pronunciamento for American lib¬
erty, the Declaration of Independence,
made July 4, 1776,
When a Chinese girl is married, she
must wait four months before etiquette
allows her to pay her first visit to her
mother; but, after this initiatory call,
she may go to the home of her parents at
any time.
there At (one manufactured factory in the between United States and
are two
three tons of postal cards a day all the
year round. The largest order ever filed
for one city was 4,0Q0,000 cards, or about
twelve tons of paper for New York.
Japanese Granges are as different from
our idea of an orange as they can well
be, separating from the peel almost as
easily as a graph, dividing into sections
at the slightest pull, each section like a
separate fruit, and dissolving in the month
with a flavor of cherries, leaving no pulp
behind.
The native doctors of China are to a
great extent self-constituted. Any per¬
son who is in want of a livelihood, and
who can read and write sufficiently well
to be able to copy out prescriptions from
a medical book, can set up in practice
without fear of Government or other in¬
terference.
Voting by Electricity,
The plan of voting in assemblies by
means of the electric current, and thus
avoiding the time lost in making divi¬
sions, has been before the French Cham¬
ber of Deputies, and a report on the sub¬
ject was presented by M. Montant, In
that report the advisability of employ¬
ing a machine which wouid indicate not
only the total votes “pour” or “contre” a
measure—that is to say the “ayes” and
“noes”—but also the number of volun¬
tary abstentions from voting, as distinct
from the number of absentees. Such an
apparatus lias been devised by M. Le
Goaziou. On every desk in front of a
member is placed a small box fitted with
two handles, which the member works
when registering his vote. The right
handle registers his “aye,” the left his
“no,” and both moved simultaneously
indicate his abstention from voting. The
results are printed by and means of visible electro¬
magnets in a receiver, are at a
glance. Provision is made for a member
to recall and correct bis vote during the
tune allowed for the purpose, J
HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS.
niNTS TO HOME DRESSMAKERS.
Surplice waists of thin dresses have tho
fullness from the shoulders prettily shaped
into a pointed yoke by drawing ribbon
through a casing made of facing an inch-
wide strip from each armhole to a point
lower down on the edge of the front.
The ribbons meet at the point of the bust
and iire tied in a bow. Surplice waists
of embroidered muslin have their front
edges straight from the shoulder down,
then - edged with a Valenciennes lacc frill,
and crossed at the waist line. This
leaves a V space at the top, disclosing
the pretty plain white lawn lining, with
its tiny thread buttons, and above is a
turuod-ovor collar of the embroidery and
lace, which is first sewed on a high
standing collar of the lawn.
Eight or ten rows of shirring around
the waist, line are employed by French
modistes to hold the fullness of blouse
waists of sheer white lawn, The ruute-
rial then falls two inches below the shir¬
ring, and lace or embroidered edging,
also two inches wide, is sewed to the
edge of the muslin.
Full straight skirts of lawn are gath¬
ered to a belt of lawn, and the ribbon
belt and sash are then set permanently
outside of this lawn belt. The skirt is
put on after the waist is on, and there is
no ugly opening between the waist and
skirt. A French fancy is a new way of
using ribbons on white lawn skirts. The
skirt is straight, and is deeply shirred be¬
low the belt, having six rows of shirring
done in pairs, leaving a space an inch
and a half wide between these double
rows. Ribbon an inch wide is then
passed in and out in the spaces between
the pairs of shining.— Courier-Journal*
RECIPES.
Pigs’ Feet—These are nutritious, and
if you don’t buy them at a restaurant,
where they somehow seem to retain the
flavor of the farm yard, they are appetiz¬
ing and delicate. Let the cleansing pro¬
cess be a thorough one, first scraping and
washing, then soaking in cold water foi
a fow hours, and washing and scrubbing
again. Tie each one in a separate piece
of thin old muslin; cover with boiling
water, add salt, and simmer until tender
—about four hours. If you want them
pickled, pour hot vinegar over them,add¬
ing salt, pepper and whole allspice.
They are also nice if set aside until cold,
split in two, dipped in a thin flour paste,
rolled in crumbs and fried in hot drip¬
ping ; garnish with parsley and slices of
lemon. They can be broiled, after which
cover with a sauce made of a teaspoonful
each of butter and parsley, seasoning
with salt, pepper and a few drops of
lemon juice. They may also be dipped
in a batter and fried.
Salt Maekerelr-Choose a large, fat,
whito mackerel weighing from a pound
and a quarter, to a pound and a half;
soak it over night in a large pan
of cold water, laying it skin side
down. The next morning put it over
the tire in cold water and let it come to a
boil. Taste to see if it .is too salt; if it
is, change the water; if not, simmer un¬
til with a fork you can raise the bone.
Drain off (he water; lay the fish on a hot
dish; lift off the bone and season with
two tableapoanfula of cream made hot,
bits of butter, pepper and minced parsley.
With this serve stewed potatoes. Slice
cold boiletjTpotatoes each in thin, even rounds;
season layer with salt, pepper and
bits of butter as you drop them into a
wide saucepan. Cover with cold milk;
stew fifteen minutes, and thicken with a
teaspoonful of corn starch wet with cold
milk. If it is baking morning, mold
small fiat muffins from the light bread
dough, and let them raise for three-
quarters of an hour; fry on a griddle on
top of the stove, using a very little hot
fat. When done tear apart with the
fingers and drop bits of butter inside.
Beef With Macaroni—This is an
economical and excellent dinnor. Buy
a flank steak, costing accord¬
ing twenty-live to the market from fifteen to
cents, With u sharp knife
denudo it of tho bits of fat, and then
spread it with a force meat made from
two ounces of suit pork minced fine and
fried, crumbled stale bread, a minced
onion fried with the pork, and a season¬
ing of salt, pepper and powdered herbs.
You will need only a cupful of the
dressing, and the onion should be a very
small one. Lay two or three thin
slices of fat salt pork over the
dressing, and then roll up the
steak, tying dripping or skewering it firmly.
Put a little in the bottom of a
pot, and when hot lay in the meat and
brown ail around; then set it back on
the range and let it cook very slowly un¬
til perfectly tender, adding little if any
water, hut letting it simmer in its own
juices. Towardrtho last add a cupful of
stewed and thickened tomatoes. Cook
in another vessel half an hour before the
meat is done, some macaroni of the
broad ribbon variety; drain it; put a
layer of this on a hot platter, sprinkle it
with grated cheese; over this a ladle full
of gravyffrom the pot, and so continue
until the macaroni and gravy are all
used. Lay tho meat on top, and carve
down through the middle in thin slices.
What is left is nice sliced cold for tea,
or made into a mince for breakfast with
corn dodgers .—American Agriculturist,
President Carnot’s Lnxurions Train.
President Carnot has a particularly
luxurious tain in which he travels from
one end of France to the other. It con¬
sists of five carriages, all furnished with
the.greatest $16,000. el.egance and each costing on
average, - _
$1*00 Per Annum, In Advance-
NO. 48.
THfi (PRYSTINO PLACE.
Westward over the pale green sky ,
The rosy pennons of sunset fly;
Westward slowly tho great rooks hie,
With pawling and labored flapping;
Tho bushes blend 1 in a vagueness dark,
And tho further trees stand tall and stark;
i I hoar the rushes whisper and shako,
i As a flutter of wind begins to wako,
And louder grows
In the quick repose
, The sound of the river's lapping.
Still half an hour, by the abbey chime!
I come to the tayst before tho time;
I hearken the river’s rippled rhyme
And the sedge’s rustled greeting;
And I cheat my heart with feigned fears,
And sigh as I wait (for no one hoars),
To make the joymore rich and vast
When I foel his tips on my own at last
And hear no sound
As the world goes round
But the throb of our two hearts meeting.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The rule of three—One too many.
An I-glass—The mirror. A Glass I—■
In the mirror.
The stepping-stones to success aro
“rocks.”— Life.
It is the bearded lady whose face is
her fortune.— Life.
First in war and first in peace—The
letters “w” and “p.”
The good die young. This is particu¬
larly true of chickens.
“Not in our set,” as the false tooth re¬
marked to the old grinder.
A man experiences that “sinking feel¬
ing” when he falls overboard.
Two heads are better than one—On
the shoulders of a museum freak.
No wonder time is so often killed; it
is struck every hour.— St. Louis Magazine.
A youth—the subject, of the rhyme—
Spent all his strength in killing time.
As yoars rolled on—the truth is grim—
Time took his turn and slaughtered him.
—Merchant Traveler.
There is no reason in the world why n
“baby show” shouldn’t be a howling suc¬
cess.
A real life-saving station is always
managed by sailors, and not by doctors.
— Picayune.
This is the turning period in the life of
the f:nT'-'-’s boy if there is a grindstone
on the place .—Binghamton Republican.
When a washerwoman changes her
place of residence one may ask her “where
she hangs out now” without using slaug.
When tho maiden dons a muslin gown,
And the dog has a muzzle on too,
’Tis then we sigh to got out of town
And down by the ocean blue.
—Boston Courier.
Mrs. Parvenu (to the maid)—“Now,
Lucy, you may do up my hair.” Lucy—
“Yes, mum. Shall 1 do it up iu paper
or get a box?”
A hard storm is often alluded to as a
rain of cats and dogs, but a biting storm
is probably when the fall is confined to
canines exclusively.— Helper's Bazar.
A man was arrested the other day for
stealing an umbrella and tried to get off
by saying that'he was trying to lay some¬
thing by for a rainy day .—Boston Post.
The sheriff’s notice thus supplies
A inoral ami a tale;
The man who failed to advertise,
Is advertised to fail.
—Philadelphia Press.
“Post no bills!” ejaculated Fleecy,,
reading the well-known sign seen in
many parts of the city. “Humph! I
never do; I always prefer sending them
by the collector.”— Judge.
When it ain’t rainin’ it’s bakin’:
When it ain’t bakin’it blows.
When it don’t blow it’s a-hailiu’.
So get in your coal ’fore it snows.
—Detroit Free Press.
At the Jeweler’s—“But, Max, don’t
you think it extravagant to give §300 for
a diamond to wear on my hand?” “Not
at all, my dear; you don’t consider how
much I shall save on your gloves.”—
Fliegende Blaetter.
Here lies a man who laughed at death,
For many years he mocked her;
Some say he died for lack of breath
And some accuse the doctor.
—New York Sun.
“You must stop this smoking during
business hours,” said the head clerk.
“What’s the matter?” inquired one of the
boys. “The boss says he can’t appreci¬
ate his five cent cigar when you clerks are
puffing your Henry Clays.”— Epoch.
Mr. Swallowtail—“Sir, I come to con¬
fess a great wrong I was about to do to
you and to beg your pardon. I was
about to elope with your eldest daughter.”
Papa—“Come again; what was the diffi¬
culty, my dear fellow? Didn’t have
enough money? Let me lend you a couple
of hundred .”—Chicago Herald.
A tenderfoot whittled beside a wood shed.
When some cowboys of Sassafrass City
Caused a shower of bullets to whiz round his
And head; he looked their efforts with pity.
on
For he gazed from his dream with a beauti¬
ful smile
On murmured, the demons of “A carnage miss is and bloodshed, good
And as as a
he mile,” carved the ball woodshed.
As out of the
—Harper's Bazar.
Curious Functions of a Sabre,
In the office of a newspaper in Luther,
Mich., near a window, hangs a sabre cap¬
tured in the Mexican war. It hangs so
that just the point touches the glass.
About 300 feet from the office is a saw¬
mill, and the minute the gang-saw starts
the point of the sabre begins a tattoo on
the glass. An increase of five pounds of
steam is noticeable in the increased noise
on the glass. When the saw has passed
through a log the sabre indicates it in*,
sfeatly by keeping quiet.