Newspaper Page Text
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CONDENSED STORIES.
How the Corsduttor Tested the Fellow
Who Wanted a Free Ride.
In the dark and smoko fillt'd
dep'hs of the Park avenue tunnel,
while accompanying the coroner’s
jury on its tour of inspection of the
New York Central’s tunnel, State
(Railroad Commissioner Baker told
fhU story. Someone had asked the
time, and the reply was “ten min
iutes to 12.”
“That reminds me,” remarked
Colonel Baker, nimbly side stepping
to let the Southwestern Limited
rush past, “of the western railroad
man who tried to get a free ride on
an Erie train. The westerner when
asked for his fare had no pass or
credentials to show, hut produced
his switch key.
“This was almost enough for the
Erie conductor, and he was turning
away when a sudden thought struck
him. Turning to the westerner, he
naked:
“ ‘What time is it?’
“The western man pulled out his
twatc h and replied, Ten minutes to
12.’
“ ‘Alia/ Baid the conductor, ‘pay
your fare, you fakir. You’re no
railroad man. It’s eleven fifty.’ ”
New York Times.
j What Next?
“John Kendrick Bangs and J.
Henry Harper lately had some er
rand in the shopping district to
gether.’’ snid Colonel Harvey. “They
CALLED Ills ATTENTION TO IT.
were pasing along Fourteenth street
when Mr. Bungs gazed at a great
sign stretching along the front of n
huge clothing store. It read, ‘Sur
prise Store —What Next?' The hu
morist pinched Mr. Harper’s arm to
call his attention to it.
“‘There!’ he exclaimed, with so
lemnity. ‘The Astonishment Bazaar,
the 1 Never Did Outfitter, Unlook
ed For Neckties, Totally Unexpect
ed Collar Buttons, Abrupt Half
Hose—in point of fact, breathless
haberdashery in general!’”—New
York Times.
Relieved His System.
Bishop Williams of Connecticut
used to tell the following story of
the late I)r. Dueachet: “One Sunday
morning Dr. Dueachet arose feeling
wretched. After a futile attempt to
eat breakfast he called an old favor
ite colored servant to him and said,
‘Sam, go around and tell Simmons
(the sexton) to post a notice on the
church door saying I am too ill to
preach today/ ‘Now, massa,' said
Sam, ‘don’t you gib up dat way.
Just gib him a trial. You get ’long
all right.’ The argument went on
and resulted in the minister start
ing off. Service over, he returned
to his house looking much brighter.
‘How you feel, massa ?’ said Sam as
he opened the door. ‘Better; much
better, Sam. lam glad I took your
advice/ ‘J knew it. I knew it,’
said the darky, grinning until every
tooth was in evidence. ‘I knew you
feel better when you git dat sermon
out o’ your system/”—New York
Tribune.
Not Always What They Seem.
President Stillman of the Nation
al City bank was going up Broadway
after the theater the other evening
with a friend from the interior
whom he had been entertaining. As
they went by the passing crowd of
properly gowned and groomed men
and women the friend said to Mr.
Stillman:
“It’s very attractive to watch the
vast number of men one sees here
who look so prosperous financial
ly.”
“That’s very true,” replied Still
man. “They are just like a lot of
enterprises we know of—they look
finely prosperous, but there is a
email per cent of them that pay at
tractive dividends.”
L The Hard End.
The late Colonel Alfred Belo,
towner and editor of the Galveston
{News and the Dallas News, once
jasked by a friend which was the
[more difficult, the writing or the ed
iting of a newspaper story, replied,
(with a vague smile, <f l think both
arc easy compared to the reading of
ithe average one.”
About Congregational
Methodist Churches.
Tim last issue of the Watchman,
edited by Dr. Kolf Hunt, and
| published at Milner, contained
! the following three items of
local intrest:
Rev. < . W. Stocks and daughter,
Miss Rosa Bell, of Barnesville were
to see ns last Thursday. They are
members of the Barnesville C M.
church and are interested in a
suceesful program the Bth of May.
For several weeks past the Grif
i fin C. M. church, of which Rev.
G. \V. Grice is pastor, have been
worshipping in their new church.
The house is small, but is ample
for the present. Bro. Grice is
building at another point now.
We have been expecting a little
fuller report from him.
Rev. W. H. House is zealiously
at work at Forsyth. They have
purchased seats and have placed
them in the Masonic Hall, which
they are using at present. They
will purchase an organ soon and
will continue to raise subscribtion
with which to build. This work
in honor of our Savior and of the
founders of the C. M. church must
be encouraged and pressed.
A TEXAS WONDER.
J HAIjI/H GREAT IHSCOTERV.
One small bottle of Hall’s Great Dis
covery cures all kidney and bladder
troubles, removes gravel, cures diabe
tes, seminal emissions, weak and lame
backs, rheumatism and all irregularity
of the kidneys and bladder in both
men and women, regulates bladder
troubles in children. If not sold by
your druggist, will send by mail on re
ceipts of sl. One small bottle is two
months’ treatment, and will cure any
case above mentioned. Dr. E. W. Hall
sole manufacturer. I*. O. Box <i2S>, St.
Louis, Mo. Send for testimonials.
Sold by \V. A. Wright.
Martin, Tonn., .Tune 3, 1901.
'l'llis is to certify that I have used
Hall’s Texas Wonder for kidney trou
ble and have never found anything its
equal. Its merits are wonderful Try
it, as I did, and be convinced.
Rhv. Li. C. WIIITXKLI,.
Itui'itcsvlUe Merruniile Company
(Moves to New Store.
The Barnesville Mercantile Cos.
moved last week to tile Mitchell
building in the new store next to
grocery business of J. T. Middle-
I > rooks.
This store is an excellent place
for their business as it is large and
roomy, and besides being new,
the store controls an excellent
view of the business portion of
the city.
The Barnesville Mercantile Cos.
is one of Bnrnesville’s leading
business houses and have controll
ed a good trade since establishing
here. No doubt their good busi
ness will continue in their new
headquarters.
THE HOME GOLD CURE
An Ingenious Treatment by Which
Drunkards arc Being Cured Daily
in Spite of Themselves.
No Noxious Doses. No Weakening of
the Nerves. A Pleasant and Posi
tive Cure for the Liquor Habit.
It is now generally known and under
stood that Drunkenness isadisease and
not weakness. A body tilled with
poison, and nerves completely shatter
ed by periodical or constant use of in
toxicating liquors, requires an antidote
capable of neutralizing and eradicating
this poison, and destroying the craving
for intoxicants. Sufferers may now cure
themselves at home without publicity or
loss of time from business by this won
derful “HOME (501.1) CURE” which
has been perfected after many years of
close study and treatment of inebriates.
'Hie faithful use according to directions
of this wonderful discovery is positive
ly guaranteed to cure the most obsti
nate case, no matter how hard a drink
er. Our records show the marvelous
transformation of thousands of Drunk
ards into sober, industrious and upright
men.
WIVES CURE YOUR HUSBANDS!
CHILDREN CURE YOUR FATHERS!
This remedy is in no sense a nostrum
but is a specific for this disease only,
and is so skillfully devised and prepar
ed that it is thoroughly soluble and
pleasant to the taste, so that it can be
given in a cup of tea or coffee without
the knowledge of the person taking it
Thousands of Drunkards have cured
themselves with this priceless remedy,
and as many more have been cured and
made temperate men by having the
“C IJ RK” administered by loving
friends and relatives without their
knowledge in coffee or tea. ami believe
today that they discontinued drinking
of their own free will. DO NOT WAIT.
Do not be deluded by apparent and
misleading “improvement.” Drive out
the disease at once and for all time.
The “ OMK GOLD CURE” is sold at
the extremely low price of One Dollar,
thus placing within reach of everybody
a treatment more effectual than others
eosting $25 to SSO. Full directions ac
company each package. Special advice
by skilled physicians when requested
without extra charge. Sent prepaid to
any part of the world on receipt of One
Dollar. Address Dept. H 20. EDWIN
B. GILES & COMPANY, 2380 and 2332
Market Street, Philadelphia.
All correspondence strictly confiden
tial.
THE BARNESVILCk NEWS-GAZETTE, THURSDAY, APRIL 3, 1902.
WASHINGTON LETTER
Chatty Gossip About the President as
a Boxer and Wrestler--The Judge
Who Calls Himself an Ex-Convict--
The Shaws, Etc.
From our regular correspondent.
Washi.v. tox, If. C., March 20.
—“Hello! What’s that?” said one
senator to another, as they were
entering the office of Secretary
Gortelvou, iii the White House,
and heard a thump from the upper
regions like that of a heavy body
falling to the floor. “Hush!”
said his companion, lowering his
voice, “that thump was made
either by the President’s back or
the back of the man who gives
him lessons in wrestling. They
say that the lessons both in wrest
ling and boxing are no make-be
lieve affairs; that the President
insists that his instructor shall
throw' him or hit him when he can,
and furthermore that he can do
neither very often, as the Presi
dent was a crack boxer and wres
tler when at college and he has
never got out of practice, and that
his strength is prodigious.” The
President’s instructor is “Profes
sor” J. J. O’Brien, who calls Bos
ton his home, and who is not like
ly to be mistaken either by name,
talk or looks from a Frenchman.
He is stopping at a hotel. He
isn’t snying a word about his dis
tinguished pupil, not even so
much as admitting that he is here
to give him instructions, but his
frequent visits to the White House
at all sorts of hours, from early
morning until late evening, indi
cates that he goes whenever sent
for and that his time is wholly at
the President’s disposal, aroused
suspicion, as there is nothing in
his looks or talk to cause one to
think that he was being consulted
on affairs of State. That and a
word or two dropped by friends of
the President let the cat out of
the bag, and now everybody knows
wlmt he is here for, and I should
not wonder if the knowledge did
not result in the employment of
anew “professor” of physical cul
ture by the President, not that he
is ashamed of his liking for the
sport, but because lie is likely to
tire of the gossip about it.
Hon. J. Ham Lewis, of the State
of Washington, who is credited
with designs upon the salary and
perquisites of a trust magnate,
dropped into town a few days ago
with his dazzling whiskers and, of
course, a bran new stock of the
most gorgeous clothes. He says
his visit is solely for pleasure. He
bought a new' and original style
in spring overcoats that turned
the dudish possessor of “raglans,”
“mother hubbards” and other
freak garments green with envy.
It is a long affair, reaching almost
to his ankles, with broad padded
shoulders, the color being a whit
ish gray plaid, and everywhere he
wore it people turned around to
stare at him.
Probably the only man in the
world who even jokingly calls
himself "an ex-convict,” is Judge
Dudley Dubose, of Montana, who
served six months in jail in con
nection with the controversies over
the acts of Judge Noyes at Cape
Nome, and who is now visiting
Washington. One of his Montana
friends has been telling some
stories of how Judge Dubose held
the respect of the “bad men”
when he sat at the bench in Mon
tana. Here is one of them: “One
day when passing a saloon Judge
Dubose heard a cowboy make a
disrespectful remark about one of
his judicial acts, accompanied by
a siring of oaths. Instead of hav
ing him brought into court to be
punished for “contempt,” Judge
Dubose went into the soloon and
threw the cowboy out of. the win
dow, without taking the trouble
to raise it, and then quietly walk
ed out.”
Secretary and Mrs. Shaw are
looking for a suburban place near
Washington, to which they can go
at the close of the school year,
when they will have their children
with them. Mr. Earl Shaw and
his oldest sister. Miss Enid, are
at Cornell University, and Miss
Emma is attending school at
Davenport, la. Miss Enid has
another year at Cornell before she
graduates. She was given the op
tion of dropping out at the close
of this session and being introduc
to society next w inter or of return
ing to the university in the fall,
and did not hesitate a minute in
choosing. She declared that she
would not give up the degree of
bachelor of arts she expects to get
next year for social pleasure.
The Roosevelt family is going
to be represented at the corona
tion of King Edward after all.
Miss Alice had her attendance ve
toed, but her cousin, Miss Alice
Roosevelt, of New York, who has
been the guest of her cousin, Mrs.
Cowles, the President’s sister, will
be there. Miss Helen will be the
guest while in London of her rela
tive M r. W. W. Astor—New York’s
Mrs. Astor is Miss Helen’s mater
nal grandmother.
Senator McComas is a lecturer
in one of the Washington law
schools, and he has the commend
able habit of illustrating his
points by little stories. In the
course of a recent lecture, desiring
to emphasize his statement as to
the smallness of the world, owing
to modern methods of rapid tran
sit, he told this one, concerning
his meeting of an old friend whom
he called Bill Smith: “I was
walking down the strand, in Lon
don, when in the vast throng
which surges up and down the
thoroughfare whom should I meet
but Bill Smith, my old college
chum, whom I had not seen since
we had left our alma mater. A
few years later I was in a Paris
cafe, and who should come in but
that same man, Bill Smith. Again
last summer, while journeying
through Yellowstone Park, far
from civilization and human hab
itation, whom should I encounter
but my old friend, Bill Smith.”
Whether this was the end of the
story will never be known, for just
here a student, who had a seat
way back, drawingly interupted
him by saying: “Well why don’t
you pay the man, Senator?” This
w'as greeted by a shout of laughter
from the whole body of students,
in which Senator McComas could
not help joining, and that ended
the law study for that evening.
The State department lias been
detected in an unconscious mis
representation. In its collection
of portraits of secretaries of State,
now at the Charleston Exposition,
is one purporting to be Robert
Smith, of Maryland, who w r as
Madison’s first Secretary of State,
which relations of the family have
discovered to be a portrait of
Robt. Smith’s uncle, and not that
of the Smith who was Secretary
of State. Such is fame.
STOPS PAIN
Athens, Tenn., Jan. 27,1901.
Ever since the first appearance of mv
menses they were very irregular and I
suffered with great pain in my hips,
back, stomaclj and legs, with terrible
bearing down pains in the abdomen.
During the past month I have been
taking Wine of Cardui and Thedford’s
Black-Dra.igbt, and I passed the month
ly period without pain for the first time
in years. Nannue Davis.
What is life worth to a woman suffer
ing like Nannie Davis suffered? Yet
there are women in thousands of homes
to-day who are bearing those terrible
menstrual pains in silence. If you are
one of these we want to say that this
same
WINE or CARDUI
will bring you permanent relief. Con
sole yourseK with the know!!*a that
1,000,000 women have been completely
cured by Wine of Cardui. These wom
en suffered from leucorrhoea, irregular
menses, headache, backache, and
bearing down pains. Wine of Cardui
will stop all these aches and pains
lor you. Purchase a SI.OO bottle •(
Wine ol Cardui to-day and take it in
the privacy of your home.
For ad*loe and Kteratore, address, giving symp
toms, “The Ladies' Aurttwry I>*pttnment, M
The Chattanooga Uettlcme Co n Chattanooga,
Tenn.
Sow Are Year Kidney* t
Dr. Hobbs' Spararns Pills cure all kidney Ills. Sam
ple tree. Add Sterling Remedy Cos., Chicago or N.X
Our Millinery Display
is literally worth coming
miles to see. Here are dis=
tinctive ideas beautifully
worked into charming novel=
ties in spring hats and bon=
nets, which are not to be seen
elsewhere. You have not
seen the best in Millineiy
until you have seen ours.
Dry Goods.
We are showing one of the prettiest line of
wash fabrics in SILK MADRAS, SATIN FOU
LARDS, PERCALES, CHAMBREYS and white
goods that you will find in Barnesville.
In Wool Goods
we are showing the Prunilla Cloths, the latest
style goods out for suits.
Ladies’ Embroideries and Applique.
\\ e have them in anj'thing you want.
We can save you money on SHOES and
SLIPPERS.
We Give Green Trading Stamps.
A. L. Mills.
A Free Picture of Gen. Lee
9
Any veteran, who contemplates attending the Reunion at Dallas,
April 22nd to 25th, will receive a handsome picture of General
Robert E. Lee, and a copy of his farewell address (suitable for
framing), if he will send us his name and address, and the name
and address of the Camp to which he belongs.
POTTS-THOMPSON LIQUOR CO.,
Atlanta, Georgia.
ACME XXXX Pure Rye Whisky.
It is Old, and Absolutely Pure.
It Has Few Equals— If Any.
Stone Mountain Corn Whisky,
The purest and best brand of
Corn Whisky made in Georgia
Recommended very highly for
Medicinal Purposes . ’.
SOLD BY
The Barnesville Dispensary.
r *——. 1 ■ -— 1 . •~\
I ; - ?r •
RON g;
MOUNTAIN
Route
'• • > .
|ls the best line to TEXAS. Has
two train,? daily from Memphis.
Reaches Oklahoma and Indian
j Territory. Is the “True South
Tour best route to Dallas will be via Memphis The
Cotton Belt operates it s own trains (two each day) from
Memphis to Dallas and other Texas cities without
change. These trains leave Memphis, morning and
evening, after the arrival of trains via all lines, thus
offering yon close connections and excellent service.
N. B. BAIRD, Traveling Passenger Agent, Atlanta, Ga.
E. W. La BfAUME, General Passenger and Ticket Agent, St. Lotris, la
ern Route” to CALIFORNIA.
\\ ill sell tickets at greatly re
duced rates to Texas, Oklahoma,
and Indian Territory on February
4th and 16th. Write for books
and other literature of the west,
northwest and southwest.
I. E. Rehlander, T. P. A.,
Chattanooga, Tenn.
| H. C. Townsend, G. P. A.,
St. Louis, Mo.
Q Best rough Syrup. Good. I’fle B