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THE HENRY COUNTY WEEKLY.
voi.. xni.
PJtOI nssroXAL f '.l lilts.
11»: . <>. i*. i nu > ni:i.i^
D E N TI ST.
Mt'lklNOl’Ml, (I A.
Anv one desiring work done own In' :ic
cominodsted either by calling on me in per
son nr addressin" me through the mails.
Terms cash, miters special arrangements
•re otherwise made.
Geo W. lie van | I’. !).;;i
UI*YA\ A IHdtlA,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
McDoNOl'dll, li.l.
NVi 11 practice in the counties eoinpnsinp
he Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Coin I
oi'Georgia and the United Slates District
Court. apt'27-ly
| AW. 11. TI RIKR.
ATTORNEY YT LAW,
McDonoioh, Ga.
Will practice in the counties composing
the Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court 01
Georgia, and the United States District
Court. marl ti-l v
O .1. KKAGAAi.
attorney at law.
McDoxoi nit, (la.
Will practice in all the Courts of tSenraia
Special attention given to commercial and
MUor collections. Will attend all the Courls
at Hampton regularly. Office upstairs over
Schaefer’s warehouse. janl-ly
j l\ H AM,,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
McDonoi on, Ga.
Will practice in the counties composing thu
Flint Judicial Circuit, and the Supreme ami
District Courts of Georgia, l’rompt attuntinn
given tocollections. octs-’79
A. I*l*o IV A.
’ ATTORNEY AT LAW,
McDoxocoit, Ga.
Will practice in a'.l the counties compos
ing the Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court of
Georgia and the United States District
Court. . janl-ly
j j «■. im:i:pi,i:<‘.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Uami'Ti.n, Ga.
Will practice in all the counties composing
the Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Court
of Ceorgia and file District Court ot the
United States. Special and prompt atten
tion given to Collections, OetH, 1888
Jxo. D. Stewaut. j R.T. Daniel.
NTKWART A IRANI El..
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
• Ga.
JjU. 11. .1. AIIAOI.iI-
Hampton. Ga.
I hereby tender mv perfessional service to
the people of Hampton and surrounding
country. Will attend all cal’s night and
day.
LA If CAM).
1 hsvc opened .1 law office in Atlanta, but
■WII continue niy practice in Henry county,
itteuJhig all Court* regular'v, a* heretofore.
Correspondence solicited. Will be in Mc-
Donough on alt public days
Office—Room till. Gate City Bank Build
in", Alabama street, Atlanta, Ga.
JOHN L. TYE.
Jaim try Ist, I^B.V
McElree’s Wine of Cardui
and THEDFORD'S Pi-ACK-DRAUGHT are
for sale by the following merchants in
rtenry County:
I>. Kno»t * Co. McDonough.
HtU & Parker, Lovejov.
A. V. McVicker. Ilabb.
Berry A Bran nan, Fiippen.
Dr. W. 11. 11. Peck, ' Locust Drove.
J. C. Bostwick, Peeksville.
,1. \V. Hale, Sandy Ridge.
W. 11. Gilbert & Co. Stockbridge.
B. F. Ilarlow, Tunis
Notice of Dissolution.
The firm ofjohn J. Smith
& Co , is this day dissolved by
mutual consent ; John J.
Smith assuming the indebted
ness of the firm. The notes
and accounts due the firm are
held by [ohnj. Smith.
John J. Smith &Co'.
Jan. 24, ’B9. im
McDomil fllacline Ms
AND
BRASS FOUNDRY.^
IXfe announce to the public that we are
* 1 now ready to do all kinds of Machine
Repairing, such as
Sleum Knglaiss Cotton Gins,
Scparalor ami Mill llncliin
cry. Filing; anti 4»uniniing
(jin Saw* a Specially.
We keep constantly on hand all kinds ol
Brass Fittings, lnsoirators (of any mzv).
Iron Piping and Pipe Killings ; Pipping Cut
and Threaded any Si*c and Length, Me an
prepared to repair your machinery cbeapei
than you can have it done iu Atlanta. All
work guaranteed to give satisfaction.
J J SMITH
May '24, 1888
\\ r t V I'H Ik Agi uts in every Town
VV Ai\ I Fj L* and County to Sell unr
Goods. Send us Oxk Dollak, and wv will
send fm samples Ilia: »lls for three dollars
and siait you in bush;, ss th. t will pav y«e
from $lO to SS4IO per luomk.
Address
THE RICHMOND PUFI.ISHING CO ,
RICHMOND, V A.
frrTTCf P A tv* f<w»i4 on "1* at
A UlO JL A.X AiiV j>. koweii A Co’a
Advertising Buiveu (lOSpmoo Sr.) where aUv. rtitJng
HiMMI duty Uj UMhOe io€ U IN MiW YORK*
j Xi i)ONO[ is H. GA.
Me IKtiitniLi'ii, :i ! iwii of 1 in!a: 1 1 >itants
is the count s s'L ot 'lewv, one ol the l.ir*
! "Ost ii;«l n.o |io;-u’.<» ts rountios isi middle
I i. is ■ itiiiil»*<! on the East Tonn.. Va.
!A: <! .. li* , • v iil' «i.uli n.iSt s south of ,\l
| l:inlu, tin a’; ; ilt-1 < 1 the .-fair. It is also
tho iiorthtTii ti uiiiii ns •»t llh Mid
land A: Gulf K’v, v. !.ii-h lt.» - its southern
terminus nt Ctiluiuo.is, Ga., “the Lowell of
the South.” 'I ho Central ot Georgia run*
through the wesft rn portum ot the eon. tv.
thus giving it I‘iiee lirst eluss liin s ot rail
way.
Farm lands can l e bought from $."». to
s!.’». ier acre; on which can l-e grown re.-
niunerative crops of Cotton, Corn, Wheat.
Oat.-, live, Hailey, Kiev, Mi 1 let., Sugar-e »**,
Sorghum, Sweet and Irish Potatoes, (ironin!
ami Field Foaa, and fh«‘ \\ utv i tnelons
(both to \ ' in the
world.
All kinds ol fruits d<> well] lufk*. Quite a
fruit industry has sprung irffsoilw fourteen
miles to the southv,e>t of jNieDonough, lind
is conducted bv an intelligent set of immi
grant > from tlu north, who bought the lands
cheaply, and which have appieciatcd from
$lO. to SIOO. per acre. Theic are thousands
of acres just as gov»d in Henry e-aunty await
ing . development by industrious iinmi
| grants.
j There are < ilit railioau towns in Hei»ry
* count v-Me Dooo.i rh. liivinpUut, StiicLlp idge.
Locust Grove, K!ippen # Clrfeiiwootl, 'funis
i and Lotu’lla.. In p<n*ni <»i pwp'llal i#n they
rank .»« gi r« n
'file elimate is mini and eijuable, Thera
* is not a day in the year that out of door
l work cannot be dom on account ui cold
| weather. The atmosphere is pure and en
, tirely free from malaria. A ot yellow
fever was never eoi ti acted in IMi miles of
this section. Hie county lies 1.100 feet
| above sea level, and is gently undulating
in its topography. Wood and water ot the
I best quality are abundant, building mate
ria! fs cheap and plentiful. I ndrcisMl lum
ber onu be bought at SO. per M. and dressed
lumber at from sl*~\ tosl4. M. and Shingles
L(hrst Mass)at $•». r o* M,- .
Our people are kindly disposed towards
all well-meaning new comers. Politically,
| our people believe in “a tree ballot and a
fair count.” There if* n standing reward of
SMK). for a single instance where a man
has not been allowed to vote his political
conviction —whether he be democratic or
republican. )ur motto is, ‘Let bygones be
bygones; and let all unite in the up buildiftg i
of our goodly heritage. We know no south |
no north.” We de ire to beml our united
energies to bringing our beaut ifi l lands to i
that degree of perfection which brawn and !
brain have done for less favored sec
tions.
The manufacturing in(bistr?» > of ibis j
section have received a wonderful impetus in j
the lust few years. Grillin, a sprightly
town of '.OOO inhabitimts only eighteen miles
south of us, lots built two splendid cotton
mills iu the last three years—cost ing in the
agaregate $300,600. en wtiich aiuo.int they
declared a, dividend ol HO pflfr coup. last year.
To those who have money to invent, ye in
vite them to come to McDonough, which is
one of the best building sites iu the south,
owing to its being in the midst of the cotton
fields, and on a line of railway where cheap
eMI emr ba had. kf ha* demonstrated
(blit cnpitalis}#c':v|iiot nuffte iToistafte in hi
vcsting in southern mair.-ifacturing euter
* A Avitmd an oil mill or
guano factory would all pay a handsome div
idend if erected and put in operation i
here.
To..the capitalist, the mechanic, the ma
chinist. the sturdy** thrifty northern and
western fanners we invite you to come and j
examine our scctiou before purchasing iu the
bleak, treeless northwest. We will accord J
you a hearty welcome and happy, 81141*?
homes.
Sample copies of Tun Weekly ward
ed to any address on receipt of A 0,1(1 ccn *
stamp.
AH parties eorrespoud'ng with us will
please inclose stamps insure reply.
SifiKß k Turner, Hubs.,
McDonough, Ga.
15
POWDER
Absolutely Pure.
This powder never varies. A marvel of
purity, strength and wholesomeness. More
economical than the ordinary kinds, and
cannot I it* sold in competition with t lie mul
titude of low test, short weight alum or
phosphate powders. Sold only in cans.
Koval IJakino Powdkr Co., 10(1 Wall street,
Xew York. novl3-lv
GIiIFFIN FOUNDRY
AND
Machine Works.
\ AJe announce to the Public that we are
\ » prepared to manufacture Engine Boil
ers : will take orders for all kinds of Boil
ers. XVe arc prepar. d to do all kinds of
repairing on Engines, Boilers and Machin
ery, genera’ly. We keep in stock Brass
fittings of all kinds: also Inspirators, In
jectors, Safety* V lives. Steam Guages.
Pipe and Pipe Fittings and Iron and Brass
Castings cm everv description.
osimu v a w irrorr,
MARVELOUS
MEMORY
DISCOVERY.
Only Genuine Avatfin of Memory Training.
Four BocLa Learned iu one reading.
Mind wandering eared.
Every child and adnlt areally benefltted-
Groat inducements to Correspondence Claseet. ,
Pr-wpecta*. with Opinions of I>r. Wm. A. Ham
mond, the world-famed Specialmt in Mind Diseaaee.
Daniel Greenleaf Thompson, therreat Psychof-
J- M. Buckley, R.D., editor of the Christian
Advocate* N. F., Richard Proctor, the Scientist,
lions. \\ . W. Astor, Judge <■ ib-on, Judith P.
t>< it jauiin, and otheru, seat post free by
Prof. A. *37 Fifth Ave., N. Y.
McDonough, ga.. phi day. april, a«, isso.
HR. AND MRS. BOWSER
“\Y hat did tl ose two colored women
want V’ ini|iiired 'lr. Bowser as he
came in the other eveaing just as the
individuals referred to were passion
out.
••'['hey called to me w hen 1 would
l«> ready for them.
“How ready ?”
“It i> sjn iti", you know."
U ell, what has »|irin;j. yjou know,
got to d > *N ith two’e"tored women V’
“I tb ! w;»sh a few wiiidows
and take up a e r[>et or two.”
“House uittuninjj ?”
“No, not exactly, l>9t then ”
“See here, Mrs. Bowser, this thing
has got to stop right here and now !
Because, some 200 years ago, some old
cranky housekeeper in New England
! felt obliged to rip and tear an I upset
the house f or two or three weeks iu
April, all you women of to-day feel
obliged to keep up the custom.”
“But everybody cleans house more
I or less.”
“Can’t help that. I’m not going to
have everything topsy-turvy around
here for ti e next three week's Thai
will he the r.-sult if you put two wom
en at work. They will spin out the
job as long as possible.”
“it won t take over a week.”
“A week ! ' - ft' shouldn't take one
day ! I can go at it aad do all the
cleaning necessary in .tie hour!”
I didn’t say anything further until
after supper. Unfortunately for me
one ot the women returned to ask 1
about a matter she had forgotten, and
Mr. Bowser saw her and said :
“Are tou one of the women w !io are
going to house-clean here ?”
“Yes, sah.”
“Excuse me, but I don’t believe it!
If there's any eleanim; to be done I'll
do it myseif. Y'ott needn’t pot in an
appearance here to morrow nor any
ether day.”
“An’ yon’s gwiue to c ean house?
she asked in surprise
“I am. I kit wv it does not belong
to man’s estate, but I have a young and
inexperiencad wi e who is easily impos
ed on, and i am going to prove to her
that this house cleaning business is all
a fraud.”
“Mr. Bowser,” 1 said, as he return
ed to the sitting-room, “didn’t you have
an experience iast spring ?”
“Yes, ma’am, 1 experienced this
house frouii top t) bottom in just two
horns, and it still remain* the cleanest
house in Detroit. 1 have nothing par
ticu ar to do to-morrow, and 1 shall
takj hold.”
“I—l catdt help you any.”
“When I want your valuable assis
tanee I will ask for it, Mr-. ‘Bowser.
As 1 am feeling iu good spirits this ev
ening, 1 might as well begin on that
coal stove. I’ll wrestle it out iuto the
hack hall, ready to go to the barn in
the morning.”
J went up-stairs just as he pulled off
fiis coat and spit on h s hands. I xnew
just what a muss he’d make, and I
didn’t want to be there to see. In a
few minutes I heard the clatter, of the
stovepipe, as f, ur or live lengths boun
ced around on the floor, and three min
utes later there was a wild yell for help.
1 ran down just as the girl got in from
the kitchen. Mr. Bowser was lyiug on
his hack on the floor, and the stove was
lying on Mr. Bowser. Me was ulmo-t
h'ack in the face as he gas|>ed :
“ J ake him off—take the blamed
thiii}' off of me I”
The girl and I succeeded in lifting
it high e: ough for him to toil out, and
be sat up and groaned and swore and
threatened dire things. “I was afraid
it would be too much Jpi you,” I said
as 1 offered him a wet towel.
“< Hi 1 you were ! How kind of you !
You are di-appointed because the in
tern il thing ilidu’t knock the life out
of me L”
I went up st drsand be rested awhile.
Then I heard him moving 'he furniture
about, a. d by and by he came up to
say :
“I want some salt to put ou the car
I et bef' re I sweep.”
“But that carpet uiust comeup, Mr.
Bowser. It’s been Kowu two years.”
“That’s all nonsense ! Mother nev
j er lifted a carpet until it was wo ■ out.
Where's the salt?”'
“But the curtains must come d wn,
the woodwork be tubbed with a damp
cloth, the windows washed, and—”
“And the rouf of i lie house raised
ten feet, of course One would think
weM had small-pox in the house. I’ll
get the step-ladder and take the curtains
down. Perhaps I’ll take the carpet
up t > morrow, but its a waste of time.”
He went down and got the ladder,
and I heard him whistling as he work
ed atone of the curtains His whistle
presently cut short off, and there was
a crash and a yell, and I flew dowH to
find Mr. Bowser lying across that
end of the lounge « hich still remained
in the room. His eyes were closed and
Ith ught him dead from his fall. I
got the c im; hor and the girl flung wa
ter in his face, and by and by he ga»i -
ed aud opened his eyes and faintly ask
ed :
“Is this Heaven ?”
“No“Mr Bow-er,” I gently replied,
“this is only spring house-< leaning.”
“V\ hat has happened ?” he continu
ed, as I e rose up.
“You had a fall ”
“Afld while I was unconscious you took
advantage of my condition to take a
I so,hill from my wallet 1”
“I never thought of su h a thing !”
“Well, I ca,. tell later on. I had a
I sensat'on >•» of someone feeling in my
pocket-. I’ll have that curtain down
if it take, a leg ”
••Won’t you please give up your
(Quixotic id< a, Mr. Bowser? No man
i can clean ”
• ( an.t, eli ? Well, I'll show you to
tli ■ contrary. Quixote idea! I’d
ihow you and old Qtlix, too, that 1 can
d • more houseeleauing iu an four
tli u you can in a w ek. Get outfof
the way whi’e— !"
He aus in his slippers and he pick
ed up a big tuck, ami t 1 at ended him.
lie was half seared to death for fear ol
loc -.jaw, and Le insisted ou going to
bed and sending for a doctor. The
good man lr ard what 1 had t > say and
then ob-erved :
“Mr. Bows r, don’t you leave your
bedroom' for at Ibnst a whek to come.
Ti at foot must h ive perfect rest.”
And iitfxt day 1 sent for my colored
women and beg m Wbrk. Wo are u t
thr mgli yet. Neither is Mr. Bowser
out ot his room. He sits with his to t
on a chair, and we have left his mom
unJistuibed. When I enter with bead
tied up, a big apron on aud mv tingois
re I and jjleediugMrom tack u omOs and
bruises, lie consoles tue with :
“Such a fuss over nothing ! W by, 1
had four fifths of the work doue when
tin unfortunate accident made mo a
cripple for life. You can see what this
house would come to if I should ho ta
k n away by death.”
THE LIMt-KILN CLUB.
“If Bi-udder Kimshaw Jackson ar’
iu de hull 11 night, he will please step
dis way,” said Brother Gardner as
Sam). Shin struck the triangle eleven
I del berate st iokes and nmiotitired that
the me- ling was opened. <
Brother Jackson was ou hand. He
passed up the west aisle to the plat
form, an 1 when he had got l»is pie tho
president continued:
■Miudder Jackson, I learn dat you
ar’ gwine down to Ohio On i#*visit.”
“Yes, sah.”
“Gwine to ride on do kivefed kyat*,
I sin p so ?”
• Yos, sah.” . ‘ f*J
••Gwine to take a reg’lar satchel wid
ton, I hear?” / .
“I ar.”
“An’ a cane an’ plug hat an’
gloves ?”
"Yes sab.” j
“Well, I nr" glad to heat it, an* 1
hope t oil a pleasant trip. I want to
sat a few* words to yos, however.
You will represent<li* Lfrte-Kiln Club
an’ de State of Michigan Dat’ am
►artin things you should b’ar in
"Yes, sah.”
“Civ.litv is de axle*reuse which
makes de wlieel of chert Jty lif«* turn
easily. .1
“i'o j boast an’ tW* whar’ wise
men mv\w.*tfl\n’to »ay, v^T?\,
:.7jS“caif tv id two heads Ik curiosity.
A man tv id de big-heud simjMy excites
contempt.
“I).- rabbit who walks into your trap
bets on auoder man’s - game
“A loud voice, a red neck-tie an’ a
biass watch-chain won’t pass fr r brains
even wid a blind man.
“While women was crated to bless
an’ comfort inan, she kin make it
mighty uncomfortable fur him on abort
uoi ice.
“While truth an’ frankness ar’ vir
tues to be coinmenth d, you needn't feel
oblecged to tell everybody dat you hev
seben dollars hid away in the heel of
your shoes.
“\Vid dese few remarks on my part,
an’ wid do gineral ho|ie of ilisclub dat
your vis il may be full of pleasure an’
profit, we hid you adieu.”
I’UI/.K AWARDED..
Waydown Bebee then announced
that he hail received forty-two apeei
mens of spring u etry in competii ion
for the piize announced in January,
and that the following took the cake.
The prize is five rods of harbed-wire
fence :
su sauna tvkanmh.
A tamer, Bill Martin, lived out in Montan
• ah.
Who married a girl by the name of Susan
nah;
So red wag her hair,
Her skin wag no fair,
The neighbors all called her Strawberry
A 1 la ii null.
Her lmir was kept scarlet by means of
chain pagnu h.
Her hands were as soft ns a mealv banau
nah;
So lazy w.lB she,
That Farmer Billee.
Could scarcely induce her to play the pianah
Though Martin quite worshipped his dudine
A l lan ah.
He swore a great oath iu the brogue Mexi
cans!);
•H&tie shall rise iu the morn
M v house to adorn
With sandy soapsuds, alkali datnianah! (Or
.Santa Aiiiiali!)
The suntbed its rays o’er the eastern ver
anali;
The Farmer arose and godid his dander;
The switch and the cane
Descended like ruin
Upon his sweet wife. Oil! ah .' Bill, how
you fanned her!
Up jumped in a trice the aroused salaman
der, •
And twisted the hair of the silly old gan
der.
Her spouse she chastised
Till he was paralysed:
A tight for the belt could not have Ir en
grander.
For nearly a week lie lived in the verandah
At length his w ife's tempet became slight lv
blunder:
Her glances lie braved
Her pardon he craved
In words of the poets ’Sic simper tyran
der.”
A sorreled-toppcd woman is a perfect Dian
ah
Like a goddess of liberty clothed in a bni
uah.
Is swung in a hammock
To tune ol the "hamroek
While Bill hoes potatoes ami coin in Mon
tana h.
SlCiv headache, biliousness, nausea.
I costiveness, are promptly and agreeably
| banished by Di. J, 11. .McLean's Liver
1 an I Kidney Pillet* (little pills.)
Ki'lhuiiiil*.
Robert i.urdet e, the huuioiist,
writes with a typewriter *nud l.e con
tt'ihu es a breezy aud tunny letter of a
column in length ou the uieiits of the
machine, lie finds lie cannot dictate
to a shorthander. George W. Curtis,
editor ol liar, er’s Weekly and Harp
er's Magazine, on the other hand, does
U' f write “with both hands’ as Robert
does, and does not even write on a
able or desk. He uses a lead pencil
anil a pad of paper, llis pencil
draft, however, is written out by
a typewriter Robert Grunt uses a pen
So does Louise Chandler Moulton, \Y
O Stoddard, Ella Wheeler Wilcox
\\ 11. Ridciug, James l’nrton, Amelie
Hive*, ('apt. t has King, T. B.
Adiiclt, Mrs. Deland (author of “J. hn
Ward, Preacher,”) and John Boyle O’-
Reilly. George Kenimu uses a pencil;
so does Edgar Fawcett.
Murat Halstead is ti e only ouu who
makes mention of a new instrument
that is goiug to revolutionize writing
more than any other invent!' n of the
present century. This i- Edison’s pho
nograph. Mi. Halstead says: “I fin i
the system of Using phonographer and
typewriter more and more indispensa
hie. 1 tliink it is pre’erahle to the talk
ing machine that Edison invented, the
objection to which is that it offers no
opportunity for revision, and is so aw
fully accurate that it reproduces every
thing—a test that no public speaker
can endure.” All this merely shows
that Murat is getting old. ami that he
does not keep up with the times.
Now the fact is that a correction or
a revision is easier mad* with the pho
nograph than with a shorthand writer.
You talk to the phon- graph exactly as
you would talk to your amanuensis. If
you make a mistake, you tell the run
chine that is wrong, and instead that
so and so i- wlut you wish typewritten.
The ty j e writer list' n.s to what is on the
cylinder before she begins to write, and
makes a note of the figure on the index
in front of the machine where a correc
tion is to he made aud makes the cor
rection accordingly. Or a person can
h'ot out a lecord or a | art of a record
by making the ueedlo go over the space
again and saying “Burrrrrrirrirrrrrn',''
or some similar sound into the speaking
tube. The phonograph does away with
all the ills that the human stenographei
is heir to. It never gets sick ; it nev
er wants a vacation; it is light by the
desk for work at .my time in the night
or day; it never grumbles about over
work, an I all the salary it asks is
•ly six cents u week Tho future
belongs to me phonograph, Mr. IL*!*
stead.
Edison's latent machine in far ahead
of the one shown up to tho piescnt
lime. There is no speaking tube nec
essary A peiton can sit six fel
away from the instrument and talk to
it in an ordinary toiie of voice and eve
ry word v> ill lie repeated, fast 01 slow
just as it is dictat'd. Many of the no
ted writers who have give their idea
to the Phonographic World admit
that they could never accustom I Item
selves to dictating to a shorthand w riter
ilurdette tried it, hut could not get out
a word, lie wv.s afraid of the opinion
the amanuensis wou'd hnve <■( the stud
he dictated. Now. a phonograph has
no opinions. A person can talk to it
in the seclusion of his own room or out
in the woods or in the middle of the
ocean. It never laughs at the strug
gles and mistakes of a literary man.
Wanlrd to .line.
While waiting at a station in South
Carolina one day I was joined by a
man w ho carried an old-fashioned satch
el on his shouhler, and who had walked
many miles thn ugh the mud. lie was
fully sixty years of »ge, scrawny and
homely, and he simply nodded to me
and sat down on a hale of cotton. In
about ten minutes along came a woman
in home-spun, fully his age and about
as homely. She bad also a long walk.
She nodded to me and sat down on an
other cottou bale. Not a word was
►aid between us for ten minutes. Then
as the whistle of the train was heard in
the distance she said to the man :
“Then, Jim, you ai ’ gw iue off to jine
the Mormons ?”
“1 am, Hannah,’’ he replied.
“An’ you won’t take me?”
“No”
“And I'tn ter be left
“Yes.”
“And it won’t do no good to argu
fy ?”
“Not a bit.’
“VV 8 1|, then, good bye to you.”
She started forward with extended
arm, hut passed his hand and seized
the satchel and flung it thirty feet away.
Then she grabbed him by the hair and
they went off the platform into the
mud-hole together, and as the train
moved away she was on top and jam
ming his head into the old gold soil
and saying between the jams :
“Want to jine the Mormons, do you !
Want to leave the old wife who’s dun
lived with you fotty years ! Want to
jine—jine—jine, you ol 1 rabbit, do
! » »
you .
And fifty passengers gave her thr.-*
cheers and a tiger as she got a new
h hi on I is patriarchial whiskers.
Hizzinkss, n iu.se ', drowsiness, dis
tress alter eating can lie cured and pre
vented by ta ing Hr. J. 11. McLean *4
Liver anil Kidney Pillets(little pills.)
I he bod . is more susceptible to bene
fit from Hood’s Sarsaparilla now than
at any other season. Therefore take
it now.
*”ie J’.liloi- Will 111.
“ 1 his licking ail editor i- scaly husi*
ness, said a Dctr iter the other day,
us the matter was incidentally calitd
up. “1 once had some cx| eiicnce in
thu line, and I haven’t (juite recovered
from my disgust yet.”
“1!.. v was it ?”
1 1\v siu Peoria, 111. A | uper came
out one m ruing and calle I me a loaf r,
and my datnh r was up iu a niinu'e I
went a ouu I to li ml '.ko editor, taking a
copy of the paper along. II was very
courteous and even w hen I said 1 hud
cotue to lick him he diJn t lose his
sutile.
‘•Anything wrong,” lie a-ked.
“Y o r paper calls me a loafer "
“All! does it Let’s see. This is
not mv paper, tut the Bugle, publtkiied
two blocks further down. My paper
is the Argus ”
“And this is not the Bugle office ?”
“Oh, no.”
“Well, I went down to tbo other of
fice, nnd us i was g -ing up stairs 1 uiet
a in ill tumbling down.”
“What’s up," I asked.
“Been up to lick the editor,” he re
plied.
“Was he in ?”
“He was a whole (on of him ”
“What's y ur complaint ?"
“Ills paper called me a loafe . Mv
name s John .”
“And I wasn't the person meant all,
you see, and when 1 afterwards upon
the Bugle man 1 I'o mu I him io he an ex
heavy weight who could have knocked
the life out of me with a punch.”
A Mlin-t In I,l(e.
At Greensboro they pointed out an
old darkey whom t.ney mid had just
got married and was going out on a
piece of rented land to make a start in
life. I followed him out to his curt, to
which was hitched an o'd and laded ox.
His bride, a coal black dxtnsel of 18,
sat on a hag of corn iu the cart and i
held to the rope lines itroit ni the ox’s j
iioins. The earl cot.tuined, in addition
u skillet, a kettle, ten pounds if side
poik and a jug holding two quarts of j
mola- scs. l'h -ic was a tick for a straw
bed, a lien's feather pillow aud an old
blunt et. That was the outfit.
*So you have just got married?” I
asked.
“Y’cs, sail—dun jist got married to j
dat gal.”
“How old are you, uncle ?”
“Shoo, rgnv, hut 1 reckon Iz.e about
CO.”
“And you’ve got a young wife ?”
“Yes, sail —dun got a gal.”
“And yon aru happy?”
“Happy, mil ! Why, Ize walkin’
ri-h> (M, aijjij all dp time!’’
“And you are going our to make ..
sturt in life ?”
“Yes, sail—gwino to start right off.
Got <le ox, got de cart, got Tie gal and
got two hull weeks’ purvishuii", an’ if
dar’s any oh-nigger in Norf Caroliny
who feeis mo' like jumpin’ fo* feet
high an’ yellin' for Canaan dun I does
I’ll gfn two hits to see him ”
IliirNtliiK a ('oturiilrnce.
A woman yesterday stood at tho
writing desk in tho corridor of thepost ■
office with a pen in tier hand and a pos- 1
tsl card before h--r. She was thinking
deeply when a man approached witli a
postal card in his hand, looked in vain i
for a pen and finally said :
“Madam, are you going to use that
pen for the next five minutes?”
“Yes, sir,” she replied. “I mu just
going to write to my husband.”
“And I am just going to write to my
wife. Curious coincidence, eh ?”
“I don’t know about that. My bus-
band ran away, and I have just got his
address and was wondering whether I
should tell him to stay or ask him to
come home.”
“By George, madam, hut how singu
lar? My wife also skipped out, and I j
was wondering what to say to her. We
ate in tho same boat. Shall we write :
‘Come home, darliug,’ or, ‘I never
want to see your face agaiu ?’ What a
curious coincidence!”
“Yes 1 think it is !” remarked a wo-
man who came up behind him. “Try
ing to make a mash are you ! This is
the way you hunt for work, is it! Come
home with me or I’ll pull all the hair
out of your head and scratch that wo
man’s eyes out!”
He went humbly along in tow, and a
uews-bov who sat on the window sill
looked after tlie pair and selilo juized
“That’s what I call bursting a coin
cidence and catching a lia; at the same
time. Better write for |vour darling to
return by telegraph, ma’am."
Was (aeltiiiii Nlmrt.
A policeman came upon the pair in a
doorway on Jefferson avenue yester
day. One was a young man of inno
cent look and stooped shoulders, and
the other a keen eyed and complacent
individual of 40.
“Any trouble here?” queried the
officer.
••Oh, no—none whatever,” answered
the complacent man.
“Not a hit sir,” replied the young
man.
“But I thought I heard loud talk
ing."
“That was me,” said the young
m 'ti. I lent $lO to a man on the train
$7 to another at the depot and cashed
a sls check for a chap d-iwn on the
coiner. This gent wants me to advance
him $25 on a SSOO bond, ami L was tel
li g him I coildu’t possibly do it as I
am running short of cash. 1 want to
oblige, you know, but he ought to have
asked me sooner.”
For a safe and certain remedy for
fever and agu ■, use Dr. J. H. McLean’s
Chills and Fever Cure; it is warranted
to cun*.
Working I j>.
“See that voung man with the
team
“Yes.”
“A ye r ago he was a vagrant on the
streets. Now lie handles large amounts
ut real estate "
“On commission ?”
* Nn; at fifteen cents a lo id*—half to
the owner of the team.”
FROM OUR CORRESPONDENTS
(We inv in nr wine r«**ponj»iMe fin* tho
views exi>rct*no<l by our ConeHpomleutrt.
\N e ciinuot make any allowance for irreg
ularity of mail* or tailing to pool letter* at
tir they are written. To obviate tliia difli
ctiltv. we would hugest, that comapou
dmitH ul a diaiauce write Saturday and
mail their com muuiml iotrn a h hood tlieic
•ifter • a posaibk*. If n letter com#* in on
.ti.m- ami we tail to publish, on account ot
want of apace, it will be puhliahed the fol
lowing week. Let every correspondent give
um tin news in as condensed form as possi
ble. otherwise it will lie neeasvarv to eliiui
nati superfluities. All communications ar
rving alter Wednesday will be too lute lor
publication. 1
| Rocky Hiller.
'A t- art- I a. iug s- me line weather.
Good stand of corn.
Everybody ! ii a lush p anting cotton
seed.
Wheat crops ait* looking very well
ill these parts.
Mr. lliliio Boatner has the best patch
of wheat in Locust Grove district.
There was hut very few outs sown
in this section, anti those who have
sowed liavt- it very poor crop.
Gardens are looking tine.
Mrs. Calvin Upchurch lias nuns
planted romethiug over four bundled
colhtrd plants.
l{ev. J. M. Ilotrden filled his regular
appointm lit at. Philadelphia last first
Sunday. There was a good couglega
tion in attendance, ami Mr. Bowden
preached an rloipi- nt sermon.
There was a singing at Mr. David
Copeland's laaf Sunday evening.
The hoys have quit lining slid gone
to walking. A good idea, hoys, let
your mule rest ; they need it.
Mr. Tommy Colvin, one of Locust
Grove’s clever merchants, and Mr.
Walter Sullivan passed through our
community last week.
Mr. and Mrs. Jiin Sowell spent last
Saturday and Sunday week with Mr.
Calvin Upchurch anil family.
Wonder wheie Henry Copeland will
go next Sunday ?
Wonder were Felix Morris and Heu
ry Sowell went last Sunday ?
Miss Cassia and Ella Davis, of tho
Grove, were in our commuui.'y last
week.
Clever Billie lioutuer and lady were
e-.iamunilv last week. Come
again. Bill, we are niwars grate r,r-mwc
you in our midst.
Mr. Alvin Whittaker and wife visited
on this side of the creek last Sunday.
We extend to The Wkkki.it and its
host of readers our best wishes.
April 8, Sanciio.
\ Nii|> With It-
I broke the bottle
Ami secured the paper,
And utter much trouble
I made it out.
It was A sailor’s scrawl
And written » With poor ink,
And poorer p«u.
The thought
Of buried gold
Made inv heart
Hise up to choke me.
So read tkeacruwl:
"From rock and tree
Pace twenty-three
With buck to sea.”
I paced off
As directed
And read farther;
“Now turn to right
And you’ll get sight
Of sailor’s light.”
After going About 50 feet
I saw . A big rock
With a Higuul
On its crest.
“Now turn the rock
And dig for crock,
Says sailor Jack.”
I turned and dug.
A foot below the soil
Was a gallon crock.
I lifted it out,
I tore off the cover,
I got at the contents,
Theft were five plugs of tobacco!
Don’t 4»et Caught
I This spring with your blood full of im*
purities, your digestion impaired, your
appetite poor, kidney and liver torpid,
and whole system liable to be prostra
! ted by disease —but get yourself into
good cot dilion, and ready for the chan
ging and warm weathar, by taking
Hood’s Saisaparilla. It stands un
equalled for purifying the blood, giv
itgan appetite, and for a general
| spring medicine.
Merit Winn.
We desire to say to our citizens,
that for yeais we have been selling Dr.
King’s New Discovery for Consump
tion, Dr. King’s New Life Fills, Buck
len’s Arnica Salve and Electric Bit
ters, and have never bandied remedies
that sell as well, or have given such
universal satisfaction. We do not
hesitate to guarantee them every time,
and we stand ready to refund purchase
price, if satisfactory results do not fol
low their use. The remedies have won
their great popularity purely on their
o»n merits. All Drug Stores.
Even the most vigorous and healthy
people have at times a feeliuy of weari
ness and lassitude. To dispel this
( filing take Dr. J 11. McLean’s Sar
-1 sapan'la; it will impart vig >r and vita’*
j ily.
NO 52