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THE HENRY COUNTY WEEKLY. A JOURNAL DEVOTED TO HOME RULE, TARIFF REFORM AND BOURBON DEMOCRACY. VOL. XV. I® POWDER Absolutely Pure. This powder never vanes. A marvel ol purity, yti-uugll'.uuM ecoHOmreal than Hie ordinnry kinds, and cannot lie sold in competition with tile mul titude of low test, short weight alum or phosphate powders. Sold only in cans. Royal Baking Powbkb Co., 10ti Wall street, New York. novl3-ly O HOVEiiHIOJtA l. C'A li l>S. | |is. *i. l». < AMIMIKM,, DENTIST, McDoNornii Ga. Any one desurin" work done can Ik* ac- Aonmiodated either by calling on me in per son or addressing me through the mails Terms cash, unless special arrangements are otherwise made. Ci,. W. Ill:van I W.T. Dicken. UK VA A A IHCKIIS, ATTORNEYS AT I,AW, Mt’DoNoroii, * •a. Will practice in tke «<>un]ie> composing he Flint .Indicial Cin nit, the Supreme Court r i" Georgia and the United States District Court. apr«7-ljr j am. mu rnt'HK, attorney at law, McDonough, tl*. Will practice in the counties composing the Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia, and the United States District Court. Ill;tr|i; - | - V j; ' KIAOA^t. attornewat law. McDonough, Ga. Will practice in all the Courts ol Georgia Special attention given to commercial and Mker collect ions. W ill attend all the Court s it Hampton regularly. Office upstairs over The Weekly office. J l\ Wil 1., attorney at law, McDonough, Ga. Will practice in the counties composing the Flint Judicial Circuit, and the Supreme and District Courts of Georgia. Prompt attention givin to collections. octs-’7!» A. niton V ' ATTORNEY AT LAW, Mi Donoich, Ga. Will practice, in sill the counties compos ing the Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia and the United States District Court. jnnl-ly Tj - a. ATTORNEY AT LAW, H amcton, Ga, • Will practice in all the counties composing the Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia and the District Court ot the United States. Special and prompt atten tion given to Collections, Oet 8, 1888 Jno. D. Stkwakt. | R.T. Daniel. MTiAVAie r x oAAir.i,, ATTORNEYS AT RAW, GmsKiN, Ga. | | IE. IE. .1. unoi.it. Hampton. Ga. I hereby 'tender my professional service to Hie people of Hampton and surrounding country. Will attend all calls night and ! day. | Oil A 1.. TVK. ATTORNEY AT LAW, Gate City Natioal Bank Building, Atlanta, Ga. Practices in the Stale and Federal Courts, GRIFFIN FOUNDRY AND Machine Works. announce to the Puhl’c that we are prepared to manufacture Engine Roll ers ; will take orders tor all kinds of Roll ers. Wo are prepared to do all kinds of repairing on Engines, Boilers and Machin ery, generally. We keep iu stock Brass fittings of all kinds; also Inspirators, In jectors, Safety Valves, Steam Guagea, Pipe and Pipe Fittings and Iron and Brass Castings of every Description. OSKOU\ cV WAIiCOTT. Ha i Iro ad Svhedit !<•*. Georgia Midland Gulf Railroad. sorTii. Leave McDonough 7:00 a. in. Arrive Greenwood 7.27 “ t I “ Louella 7:25 “ “ Griffin . 8:05 “ XOETII. Leave Griffin 4:00 p. m. Arr.ve Lone!la 4:40 ** “ Greenwood 4:48 “ “ McDonough 5:05 “ M. E. GRAY, Sup't. SOWETP'*3G NICE FREE. Send your address to b W Wrcnn, Gen. Pass. A Jena., and be will send you a handsome lithographic •A?, postage pa d. THE SACRAMENT OF SUFFERING. We laughed together, dear, you and I, Many a time in the days gone by; There was many a jest betwixt us twain. But never a thought of grief or j»atn; And the sun shone bright fn the sky above— It was not the sunshine taught us loro. We often lingered ft little while With a kindly word or a passing smile (As folks may do who often meet). Or hand clasped haDd in the crowded street; But with smiling words we still could part, It was not yet, dear, heart to heart. Love grew up In the after time, When life’s sweet joy baUa ceased th«*ir chime. My soul was rent with anguish sore, A kindred sorrow' kept your door; Twas then, as we knelt and together wept, That into each other’s hearts we crept— Friends, firm friends, through the passing years, Friends through the sacrament of tears. —Florence Tylee. Two of Mr. Allen's War Sturie*. Congressman Alien, .of Mississippi, never tires of telling funny titles about the wilt. Here are two: A Confederate soldier in a certain regiment had be come nob'il for running away from every fight. On one occasion his cap tain found him in line as an unexpected attack opened. Standing behind him, the captain drew his pistol and said: ‘‘Now, John, up to this time you have run from every tight. You have dis graced yourself on all occasions. Now, if you stir from the lino this time I in tend to shoot you .dead. I shall stand here, right behind you, and if you start to run I shall certainly kill you." John heard the captain through, iuid drawing himself up to an unusual height replied: “Wall, captain, you may shoot me if you like, but I’ll never give any low lived, low down Yankee the privilege of doing it." At Mur freesboro’ a Confederate soldier was rushing to the rear with all the speed he could command. An officer hailed him and sneeringly inquired why lie was running so fast away from the Yankees. The soldier, without stop ping, yelled back, “Because I can’t fly.”—Galveston News. The bend Sea. One of the most interesting lakes or inland seas in the world is the Dead sea, which has no visible outlet. It is not mere fancy which has clothed the Dead sea in a perpetual gloom. The desolate shores, with scarcely a green thing in sight, scattered over with black stones nnd ragged driftwood,’ forms a fitting frame for the dark, sluggish waters, overhung with a con tinual mist, and breaking in slow, heavy sepulchral toned waves upon the beach. It almost seems ns if the smoke from the wicked cities of f3030m and Gomorrah, which lie at its Ik it tom, was yet ascending up to heaven, and as if the moan of their fearful sorrow would never leave tho death smitten valley. It is a strange thing to see those waves, not dancing along and spark ling in the sun as other waves do, but moving with measured melancholy and breaking upon the shore with scarcely a sound—a fact due to the great heavi ness of the liquid, which has more salt and bitumen in it than water. Fish .cannot live in such a solution. It has even been said that birds cannot fly over, an absurdity often disproved.— St. Louis Republic. Suro Preventive. The Spanish wit and philosopher, Quevedo, who in his time gained a rep utation for knowing almost everything, was asked if he knew of a means whereby a person could avoid growing old. “Most certainly,” said Quevedo, “I know of certain rules which will surely prevent your growing old." “What are they ?" “Keep always in the sun in summer, and always in tiro wet iu winter. That is one rule. Never give yourself rest; that is another. Fret at everything that happens; that is still another. And then if you take care always to eat your meat cold, arid to drink plenty of cold water alien you are hot, you may lx- perfectly sure that you will never grow old I”—Youth’s Companion. Average Height of the hand. The average level of tho solid earth has been calculated by Dr. John Mur ray to be 1,400 fathoms below mean sea level; but more recent explorations show greater ocean depths, according to Dr. 11. R. Mill, and a mean sphere level at a depth of 1,700 fathoms. That is, all the land above the level of 1,700 fathoms beneath the sea would have to be filled Into the greater depths in order to give equal height to ull parts of the solid earth.—Arkansaw Traveler. Fremont'. Nationality. It is probable that Fremont was a German. He seems to have drifted to Charlestown and to have been taken care of by a worthy German. When ho went to school he was received as Fre mont, though his German name was j Freimuth, and he was probably the ■ heir of a rich German family of that ; name.—Atlanta Journal. He Wasn't Built for a Copper. Neighbor—What would you like to be? Johnny—Policeman. Neighlxir—You would never do for that. Whenever there is a fight you j are always around.—Texas Siftings. liatl Outlook for Hrongoa. Smithcr#—Bronson’s humor is very 1 dry. Editor—lt isn’t half so dry as It will | be after it has been in my stove a few minutes.—Harper’s Bazar. A Warm Attachment. Dasha way—Travers is so attached to dress. Cieverton —Yes; I’ve known hfan to w ear the same suit for a year.—Clothier and Furnisher. McDonough, ga.. friJday. September, h>, lbdo. I V * RATTLERS ON BLUE TOP. A Farmer Who Catches Them ami Keep* Them in Hollow Log*. The Susquehanna river rises in cen tral New York, and flowing southward enters tho northwestern corner of Penn sylvania, near Great Bend, Susque hanna comity, and Hiking a westerly course follows closely the boundary line of the two states. Ranges of hills, rising almost to the dignity of mount ains, skirt its banks on either side and present a rough, nigged and rocky sur face, so that cultivation is almost out of the question; but. wild and hilly and' barren as it wiis in many parts, the pioneers of the country, intent on se curing homes and farms and a living somewhere in that region, found here and there a valley and a running stream and H flat 'place whore they could plant a house and clear up a few acres of land for farming. Among those streams is one named Snako creek, which, rising in a beauti ful lake near Montrose, meanders through a valley and finds its way into the Susquehanna about twelve miles from the lake in which it rises. This creek was so named by the early settlers because of tho fact that, wliile bears and wolves and other ferocious beast# were very numerous in all that region, snakes were conspicuously more numer ous. One of the highest hills, whose head rises well up into the sky, was named Blue Top, because tho largo and luscious blue whortleberries were found on it iu large quantities. The largo rattlesnake was found there, as he is today, nearly as plentiful as the berries, and in tho season of ripe berries ho is exceedingly restive and hostile to all intruders. On Snake creek, a few miles above its mouth, an old man of the name of Chalker lives all alone, who is so familiar with the snakes that by common con sent ho is called Snake Chalker. Ilis large farm lies along the creek, extend ing up either side to the very Hip of the hills. On one occasion, while passing that way, the writer hitched his horse at his gate and went in to see him. Hanging up all around the old fash ioned fireplace I observed what ap peared to be dressed eels preparing for the table. They were exceptionally large of the kind, and I asked whero he caught such largo cels. “Eels?’’ said he. “Those are my rat tlesnakes. ” “And what ure you going to do with them?" “Eat them. They are much finer than eels.’’ Passing toward his back door he said: “Come out and see what I have in the yard.” In the yard were snakes by the score —all kinds, but blacksnakcs and rat tlesnakes in great numbers. How he caught them, how he put them whero they were, ho explained as follows: “You see these tubs, as I call them, in which I keep them? These are hol low logs sawed off about ten feet, burned out nnd modo smooth Inside, so the snakes can’t get out. I place one end of tho log or tub about five feet in tho ground. I then put the snakes down, about twenty or thirty in each tub, an<J keep them, feeding them every day until I want to use them. Snakes, you know, come out of their dens on warm, pleas ant days and lie on the rocks to sun themselves. 1 cut a small stick with a short crotch at ono end. I approach them quietly, and placing tile crotch ou the snake's neck hold it firmly down until I put a stout pin through liis lips. Then twisting it about so he can’t open his mouth or bite I fill iny pockets or a basket and take them home and re plenish my tubs. When I wont a snake to eat or sell 1 slip a nooso ovor his head and bring him up.”—New York Sun. The World’s Richest Heiress. The little daughter of the king and queen of Holland wiH be the richest heiress in the world. She is a simple minded, intelligent child, and talks four languages fluently. Iler chief de light when she was 5 or 0 was making mud pies, but this pleasure she was not often allowed to indulge in. The lit tle princess has an enormous number of white frocks, as she is dressed in nothing but white in the summer and has a clean dress every day. When driving out her English governess has great difficulty in keeping the poor lit tle princess perpetually acknowledging the public salute. “Why do all the people want to look at me?" asked the little mite one day. “Not for your own sake, dear, but because you are your father’s little girl,” was her gov erness’ wise reply.—New York Tele gram. The Woman Who Stay* Too Long. If the reckless waster of time were the only sufferer for her thoughtless ness there would be a certain sense of satisfaction in contemplating the retri bution. But when she lingers at her friend's threshold to make a few closing remarks on an already exhausted or a fruitless theme wtdle the busy house wife sniffs the odor of burning cake, or hears the clock striking the iiour of a now impossible engagement, her action becomes to a degree criminal.—Harper’s Bazar. A “Wind Flower.” A flower lias been discovered hi South America which is only visible when the wind blows. The shrub belongs to the cactus family and is about three feet high. The stem is covered with dead, warty looking lumps in calm weather. These lumps, however, need but a slight breeze to make them unfold large flowers of a creamy white, which close and appear as dead as soon as the wind subsides —St. Louis Republic. She Wh I'rt'ilnf - l ami H<, Moved On. A woman opened a trout door, and addressing a soiled man who, down on all fours, was seemingly looking for something, said: “What are yort doing there?” “Madam.” he said, straightening up, “please lie so generous as to pardon this apparent intrnskia. My little girl and I were coming along here just now, and the child. In hergay frolicsomeness, ran across your greensward, but Ui her glad forgetfulness dropped a silver dollar that had been given her by the hand somest and noblest of women. Wo were on our way to get a doll (or my other little girl, that is sick in bed, iuid it would have done your heart good to have seen the happiness of the little would-be purchaser - but she lost the tiMwiey, nnd now,*! times? ■heartbroken,' she has gone homo ;to tell her mother of the groat calamity." “That was indeed too had,” said the woman. < “Yes, madam; and if I could only hope —have you any little children, madam?” “Yes." “Thou you know what disappoint ment means to a child. If 1 only knew where I could borrow a dollar how in expressibly happy I should be. Madam, could you let mo have a dollar?” “No, not this morning." “Well, could you let me have 50 cents now and give me the other half this afternoon?” “No, I can’t do that either.” “Well, madam, may I ask what you are prepared to do?" “I am prepared to tell you to move on away or I’ll send fora policeman.” “You are thoroughly prepared for tills, are you?” “I am.” “All right; 1 shall bid you goixl morning. It is ono of my business rules never to tamper with any one that Is thoroughly prepared.’’—Chicago Iler aid. Magnanimity. The magnanimous man will be a great man intrinsically—that is, he will have something within him that will raise him above what is petty and trifling. In everything lie will prefer the greater to the less, the higher to the lower, the better to the worse. And this he will do not so much from a sense of duty and by a self-denying ef fort as from a simple love and prefer ence for the good. If, for instance, lie is called H> choose between a successful stroke of business iuid a truthful state ment l»e fcmnot hesltcte; all his im pulses tend to tli# latter as tho greater of the two satisfactions. If he must decide between personal comfort or ease and the helping of a neighbor in distress his warm sympathies forbid a moment's doubt. If lie is Offered some much prized luxury in exchange for a little meanness of conduct tie refuses it with scorn. Such things are no temp tation to him, because liis mind at once gauges their comparative tmworthiness and his heart recoils from them. —Now York Ledger. Speed of u Locomotive. In regard to the much discussed question as to the rapidity with which a locomotive can run. some interesting official figures have been given by Mr. Stretton, an eminent English engineer, showing briefly that tho highest sliced ever accurately taken was witli a Bris tol and Exeter broad gaugo engine, having nlno foot wheels, and which was, as long ago us 1853, officially timed at a speed of just over eighty miles an hour for a short distance, this occurring in the case of a falling grad ient and with a light load. He also distinctly asserts that this speed is tho maximum that can possi bly be obtained with locomotives of the present type, the causo of this being, lie declares, that at such a speed ns that the resistance of tho air, tho back pressure in the cylinders and tho fric tion altogether have become so great that they absorb the whole power of tiie engine, while the pressure on the wrong side of the piston becomes great ly increased by the fact that the ex haust steam cannot be got out of the cylinders fast enough.- Electrical Re view. I).utli by Klectricity. The experiments of Dr. Tatum have done not a little toward clearing up the mystery that lias surrounded tig) physical mechanism of death by elec- j tricity. He lias made it more than I probable that there is a real difference between the effects of continuous and j alternating currents, in that the former , seeing to kill only through u direct action on the substance of tho heart, while file latter owe whatever added danger they may possess to a distinct action on certain portions of the nerv ous system. Dr. Tatum has also shown that the difference in the effects of the two classes of current is far less than some foreign investigators would have us believe.—New Orleans Picayuna A MftJiori of I'ro<luciTiff Local Anjoatlieitla. The Moniteur Therapeutique is re sponsible for the statement that local anaesthesia can be easily produced by* causing two or three siphons of seltzer water to discharge their contents suc cessively on the surface to be operated upon. The anaesthesia, which is due to tho carbonic acid contained in the seltzer water, lasts for a boat five min utes and then disappears. An Kvery Day Occurrence. Kirst English Tourist (visiting Wash ington)—Hi say, ’Arry, let’s go hover to the races tills awfternoon. Second Do—Naw. Let’s go down to the 'ouse an’ see the bloomin' liidiots foiglit! Epoch. $ 1.00 CASH, $ 1.50 ON SPACE : AND WORTH IT. A 3ARBER TRIES TO BE AGREEABLE. k»w HU FtouKunt rlsn Ar.Tak.ii by a Cus tomer Who In Full or Quod Will to Men. Tlie customer took his seat in the barber's chair full of good will to the world in general, which included, of course, the barber shop ho hail entered and the barber who was about H> maul him. “Hair cut?" asked that worthy, and he immediately began digging at the customer’s collar bone ns only a barber can dig, while apjiarently adjusting the towel about his neck. “Hair getting pretty thin on Hip," he continued os he snipped Tiis scissors through the locks. Tlie man in the chair still retained his good will, though one of tho most trying things for the ordinary man H> hear is that lie is showing one of the first signs of old age—a bold head. “And no wonder, either,” continued tho wielder of the scissors, "since I never saw a head so chock full of dandruff as your head is. )t’s awful." The man talked to winced. But perhaps tho fact that the shears snlp(>ed uncomfortably close to his ear had much to do with his wincing as did tho barber’s words. That worthy at once saw another opportunity to make him self agreeable, for ho laughed pleas antly and said, “Almost clipped a piece off then, didn’t 1?" “But," he added, realizing that he was getting off a remarkable joke, “it is of such a size that it can lose quite a largo piece with out any discomfort.’’ Tlie customci* was conscious that liis good will could not last long. Tho burlier, however, lmd started Ills con vernation with an object, and reverted H) his original remark: “Yes, all that] dandruff Is bound to make you bald headed in loss than bo time. I have Just the stuff that will cure you of all that and start the growth of your hair In its original thickness.” The customer saw that tlie barber— who was but human, after all—had an object In making his personal remarks, so softened down H> his former good humor. “Ah! what do 1 seel” exclaimed the clipper in inix'k horror; “a gray hair? Another one, and another one? Oh, it won’t be long before What’s left on your head will be as white as snow. You had better let mo sell you a con coction that will put a stop to that.” The man in tho chair didn’t make all the answer ho was prompted to make. With a great effort he merely said, “I guess not today.” The mildness of that answer by no means showed how much of tho great gtxxl will he felt to ward mankind on entering the shop j hud been exhausted. "Now for a shave I” cheerfully sidd ! the man of no tact, as he readjusted j the towel ufter having thrust, under pretence of brushing them away, sov era] clumps of cut hair down his vie tim’s back. “And I tell you you need it. tix». 1 guess you haven’t cured to see your liest girl lately, have you?" And ho chuckled gleefully overliissally of wit. "But my," ho went on to say, un mindful of the clouds that were gather ing on tho face before him. “What a condition your skin is ini There's no excuse for those sjxits all over your nose and your forehead, tool How it has been neglected I I’ve got Just the thing for all that. One bottle will do, and if you will come in every day for tho next week I’ll make applications, and your skin will bo as sunxith and as fair as a baby's. What? No powder? Nothing on your hair? Not even brush it? Well, I declare,” as the door slam med on tho receding figure, “what a cross grained cuss it is. I shouldn’t have thought it. ” —New York Evening Sun. llnuipocUxl. Littlo Edgar Nelson had never been a day from home without his mother, and when lie was sent away to the boys’ school slio felt sure ho would bo over whelmed with homesickness, and would miss greatly liis littlo sister Dora, who was his devoted slave and admirer. No boy companion, she knew, could take Dora’s place. And then Edgar had always been such a “mother boy!” Altogether she had a miserable day af ter he liad gone off witli liis father in ' the early train, and was not at all re assured by her husband’s remark when he returned that he had left Edgar iu j the best of spirits. Her feelings can [X- rlinps be imagined wiien, two days later, she received the , following affecting effusion from her 1 son: Mr Dearest. Dahlinu Mamma My niont paitt culoj* friend In a boy by Dim name of “dummy.** Remember me to [lapa and Dora. Yours respectfully, Kdoab Nelsom —Youth’s Companion. Ill); Money In Theatres. The number of new and j»retty thea tres wliieh sprang up like mushrooms in the far west lias fallen ofl, many of their projectors knowing nothing about the theatrical business—having failed; but those that have been built within a few years are marvels of beauty and convenience, not alone for the au dience, but for the actors, who will not any longer dress hi tilthy and cold dressing rooms. And why should they when the total receipts from all kinds of theatrical performances throughout the United States during the forty-two weeks of what is called a theatrical sear son amounts to over tliirty millions of good American dollars, worth just one hundred cents each! —Stage News. She Ought to Be. •'That boat can lick anything in crea tion. ” “Indeed? What is she, a whaler ?” Chatter. Why I.ove<l. Admiral Nelson disliked stiffness and formality. WlTen the hour hud oome for beginning the council of win- lie bad calk'd on board his ship, instead of opening It ceremoniously he would pace the quarter deck with his captains and coax them inH> a frank expression of their opinions. Ono morning as the Victory, Nel son’s ship, was floating along with a four knot breeze, the cry rang out, “Man overboard!” A midshipman named Flinn sprung 1 H) the nil, anil looking over saw his own servant iu tho ship's wake. As lie knew that the man could not. swim tho lad leaped overboard, and held the man up until both wore recovered by a bout from tlx* ship. Nelson, who had seen the brave deed, called the lad up to him and made him a lieutenant on the s[x>t. The other tuidsliipmcn cheered and tossed up their hats. “Stop, young gentlemencried Nel son, putting up his hand for silence, and then, with a smile, added: “Mr. Flinn has done a gallant thing today— and he has done many gallant tjiings before—for which lie Ims got his re ward; but mind, I’ll have no more mak ing lieutenants for servants falling over board!" It was such offhand acts us this which made the great admiral admired and loved by Ills officers ami crews. Youth'# Companion. Gimmliic** Seldom I'uy*. A man stood In a doorway on Jeffer son avenue at 10 o'clock at night puff ing at a cigar. Along came a second man with an uulightcd cigar in liis tin gers, and he halted and asked: “Give me a light, please?” “Certainly,” was the reply. Tho smoker then Hxik from ills vest i (xx'ket a match, and from Ills coat tail j pocket a candle wrapped In paper, lie struck the match, lighted the candle, and then taking a paper from another pocket he lighHxl it at the flame of the candle and held it out with tho re mark : “Certainly, sir always willing to oblige." The otlior kxikod at the mutch, the candle and the pajx'r in unfeigned as tonishment for a moment and then drew back, [xx'keH'd his cigar and passed on with the remark: “Much obliged, but you are too all tlnsl civil.” —Detroit Free Press. A Marvelous City of tlio I>«•»*<!. A limp by I'iuli'tt Marc hi hliu.wh that out) of the Homan cntacomlis occupies an area of nine furlongs in greatest length by seven in greatest width. A recent calculation from this map places f the urea of the entiro series of cata combs at sixty times this amount, and the total length of the subterranean streets at not less than (XX) miles. This agrees very closely with J’adro Marclii’s estimate by a different method, lie conjectured that there may liavo been twenty confraternities of diggers, and that these might have excavated about severity feet of road and 100 graves everyday; and tills, taking two com plete centuries as the time which the catacombs continued to Is- used os Christian cemeteries, gives a total of 720 milesmid 0,000,000 graves figures, however, that Padre March! considered much too small Arkansaw Traveler. No Calf. A Harvard professor’s study window overhsiks the lawn of a neighbor, upon I which is tethered a fine Jersey cow. He j says that ho was looking out cf the window one summer evening when his gentlemanly neighbor came out to milk. As he sat u|M>n the miikstool and bent over to his tusk the motherly cow turned her head and deliberately be gan to lick the bark of his coat. He jumjssl to his feet, overturning the pall of milk, and, grasping the stool, lie labored the bewildered beast. The professor suggests, when lie tells the story, that the [>oor man could not stand tlie implication. —Portland Tran script. A New Kxr.HHf. "Can’t you settle that account now, sir!” "Why, 1 mailed you (tie money long ago.” "f never received it." "Well, I saw in the newspapers that letters containing @35,000 have gone to the dead letter office in the lust twelve moutlis. Yours must bo among them. See tlie government about it I”—Epoch. lUmliicMo »<t Ahrtiirdum. Judge (to prisoner) —You are charged with entering this man’s store and steal ing a clock. What have you to say for yourself? Prisoner—l am not guilty of theft; I am guilty only of procrastination. Judge—Only guilty of procrastina tion? {low 80? Prisoner—l am the thief of time.— Jewelers' Circular. —“W* ————————— Dlff Town* with No Hospital*. Tho statement is made, as startling, that Richmond, Va., a city of almost 100,000 people, lias no city hospital. Omaha, a city of 135,000, is also hi the same unfortunate dilemma.—Omaha Bee. Very Deferential. , “Mr. Doliey is a very deferential | man,” remarked Amy to her mother. "Yes," assented tlie old lady, "he’s diffen>d with everybody ever since he was a little boy.”—West Shore. Of Course. Tommy—Sis, here’s a little fuzzy baby caterpillar. Kittle (severely) —Oo mustn't call i that a caterpillar. It's only a ’ittle kit tenpillar.—Pittsburg Bulletin. J"j *' :. ,;i { ' -; —,’"i' l rrv" WHAT CANDY Ct>STB. How Small f ortune* Can Ha Spent Very Easily on Sweetmeats. Violets and rose leaves, delicately candied, ore for sale at $0 a pound. Hold dragees, a plain round candy dipi>cd in gold, cost @lO a pound. Sil ver dragees cost @1.50 per pound. Fruit candies cost 80 cents. Chocolates and Isuilsms of tlie finest description are 80 cents. • i Caramels, enjis and drops are 50 cents. Time tablets, frequently used on steamers to prevent se;iaiekness, coot 00 cents a pound and come in botth's. Cream peppermints are also used for steamer purjxise* by young uimicn aud children. These ore the sivnio price. TaiTv and molasses drops, liesidesold fasliionod molasses candy, are liere for sale at 40 cents a pound. Haiti si almonds are ijfl a pound. Cream cherries are 80 cents a pound. Chocolate for eating and cooking pur pose's can lie liouglit for from 40 cents to 05 ('cuts a cake. Cocoa is 25 cents a cake. Chocolate creams, Jelly's and nuts are 80 cents n pound. Satin bags for candies are, when filled, worth @7 each. Rests for chairs, In lovely designs in lace and [minting, are filled with bags of candy and cost @l4. Cup mottoes, for dinners and ger inans, cost from 25 cents to @3 a dozen. Dinner favors, in dainty designs of guitars, bogs, bouquets arid everything beautiful, are to bo oidens! at from 50 cents to @2 each. Satin boxes cost from @5 fr»pso; those are band painted and embroidered, and (Hied with choice candies they are lit presents for a queen. Royal Worcester, Crown Derby, Hungarian, Minton, Carlsbad and Moore, for holding' candies, are very dainty and elegant. Those cost from @8 to @25 each, and are painted fre quently in special designs to order. Twined baskets cost @3 to @ls each. Sterling silver honhonrileres, for hold ing candle*, are of the most charming designs. These range in price from @5 to @ls. The choicest of these sterling silver bonbontiieres contain Italian mint drrqis, a rare delicacy. Bonboniiieres for holding lira gees arc made of handsome enamel. These cost from @5 to @2O each. Sterling silver dishes for table use, for holding choice candies, cost from @3 to @8 each, and are very elegant. Boxes of drageos cost 25 cents each and boxes of pastils coat tho same price. New York World. Tin* Common Hoiimi of tlie Court. One of (he oldest and best practition ers at (lie Erie county bar was arguing a motion at. a neighboring county seat, and was depending more upon his own sound logic than upon authorities for success. At a critical Juncture tlie judge Interrupted tlie s[X'aker with tills Inquiry, "Yes, 1 understand, but where are your authorities upon the subject ?" "If your honor please," retorted lie briskly, "I will explain tho absence oi authorities, with your permission, by telling u little story: A young man freshly admitted to practice had pro duc'd in court in sup[>ort of a motion a wealtli of authorities. After allow ing tlie young man t<* read page upon page of dry decisions the judge at length interrupted wearily: ‘Y’ou are just iM'gfrming in practice,’ said lie; ‘let mo give you some advice. It d<*‘s very well to cite authorities once in a while, lint you must always trust somewhat to tlie common sense of tlie court.’ " It was a Ixdd, almost audacious, posi tion to take, but it won lux ease.— Buffalo Courier. Vo Forgiven*-** There. A missionary was preaching to an American frontier audience on the Prodigal Sou. After he had described the condition of the son in nigs among the swine, and had started him on Ids return, as ho began to sjieak of tlio fattier coming to meet him and order ing the fatted calf to be killed in honor of the prodigal’s return, he noticed a cowboy looking interested, and he de termined to make a personal appeal. Looking directly at his hearer the • preacher said: “My friend, what would you liave done if you had laid a son re turning home in such a plight?” “I’d have shot the boy and raised the calf,” was the prompt reply.—San Francisco Argonaut. The Thirdly Cate. A plea for the thirsty cats that haunt the buck streets in the early morning may surely come in here. If you can not afford to give such skeleton visitors a sip of milk at leust set a saucer of water before them. To see them in the back yards of closed houses vainly lap ping at tlio dry stone under the yard hydrant is a pathetic sight.—Pliiladel pliia Ledger. Family History. Mrs. De Style (in her bric-a-brac cor ner)—l cannot imagine how my grand mother managed to keep this set of china so long. Since I have had it the servants liavo broken half a dozen of the choicest pieces. Mrs. Levelhead Probably your grandmother did her own housework. —Good News. • It» Other Effect. Mrs. Fangle—A Berlin physician says that constant piano practice will almost certainly ruin the health of any girl. Mr. Fangle—Yes, and it has the same effect on the tempers of the people next door. Don’t you think so, my dear?— Argosy. .3TO. 4.