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THE HENRY COUNTY WEEKLY. VOLUME XVI. Highest of all in Leavening Power.—Latest U. S. Gov’t Report Mi Kfr ABSOLUTELY PURE PROFESSIONAL CARDS. |JR. 6. P. CAMPBELL, DENTIST. McDonough Qi. Any one desiring work done can ho ao eomniodated either by calling on me in per ■on or addressing me through the mails. Terms cash, unless special arrangements ire otherwise made. Gao W. Betak | W. T. Dickin. BRI'AA A lilt MCA, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, McDonough, Ga. Will practice in the counties composing the Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia and the United States District Court. apr27-ly | AS. 11. TI'RAIiK, ATTORNEY AT LAW, McDonouuh, Ga. Will practice in the counties composing the Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia, and the United States District Court. marl 6-1 y J. REAGAN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, MoDonough, Ga. Will practice in all the Courts of Georgia Special attention given to commercial and otfceocellections. Will attend all the Courts it Hampton regularly. Office upstairs over The Weekly office. J I\ AV V 1,1,, ATTORNEY AT LAW, McDonough, Ga. Will practice in the counties composing I he Flint Judicial Circuit, and the Supreme and District Courts of Georgia. Prompt attention giv in to collections. octs-’79 A. BROWN, ’ ATTORNEY AT LAW, McDonough, Ga. Will practice in all the counties compos ing the Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court ol Georgia and the United States District Court. janl-ly j J A. PEEPLES, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Hami-ton, Ga, Will practice in all the counties composing the Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia and the District Court of the United States. Special and prompt atten tion given to Collections, Oet 8, 1888 Jno. D. Ste . art. | R.T. Daniel. STEWART A DANIEL, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Griffin, Ga. jOIIN E» TI E. ATTORNEY AT LAW, Gate City Natioal Bank Building, Atlanta, Ga. Practices in the State and Federal Courts. THE icmcm»*Ti ~ .vsNSSuf'iyuiA-y w. vx. ‘;„«'r. k n n I * So'i’ef. ( 7le v *Ov V, Mi L .', .-a ftrwe. W_* ’t s ’. 'SA 4fc, % I W.\% \Xl ROMI •' s tA f v, * v ••• -\ -■ ■ &.. l<i£<4zm*& n miss y - . ■■— • 'i'- - > r ■ X oe\oßoiaV V# M'aN-Y&owimV. .- A Trrr-'-B'rt’ a y-„-■(£» w ox e »l f'of*** to* > East Tern, Virginia and Georgia Ry IB THE ONLY SHORT AND DIRECT LINE TO THE NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST. PULLMAN'S FINEST VES TIBULE SLEEPERS BETWEEN ATLANTA & KNOXVILLE MACON & CHATTANOOGA BRUNSWICK & ATLANTA w rnioi r <ll a ><ji„ Direct Connections at Chat TANOOGA WITH THROUGH trainsand Pullman Sleep ers to Memphis end the West, nt Unuivtllr willi I’ullmnn Sleepir* for WASHINGTON, PHILADELPHIA, AND NEW YORK. SOR FL'RI'HKR INFORMATION ADDRESS, 3. W. WRENN, CMAB. N. KICHT (,en l. Par. A[%, A. t. I’. A. KNOXVILLE. ATLANTA Georgia Midland A Gull'll, It SOUTH. I Leave McDonough 7:00 a. m i Arrive Greenwood 7.27 “ “ Louella 7:25 “ “ Griffin 8:05 “ NORTH. Leave Griffin 4:00 p. m Arrive Louella 4:40 “ “ Greenwood 4:48 “ “ McDonough 5:05 “ M. E GRAY, Sun’t ATLANTA MARKETS. CORRECTED WEEKLY. Crocerles. Coffee —Roasted—Arbnckle's 20.60 10 100 lb. cases. Lion 20 6t)e; Lcvoring’s 20.610. Green-Ex tra choice 20o; choice good 19c: fair 18c; com mon Sugar—Granulated 5% e; on grann lated —c; powdered 5%c; cut loaf whito extra C New Orleans yellow claritied 4LJe; yellow extra C 4c. Syrup—New Oi loans choice 48@50; prime 35t®40c; common 30(3)35c. Molasses—Genuine Cuba tation 22dt25. Teas—Black 35(a>55c; groen 40t5»00c. Nutmegs 65(a: 70c. Clovoi 25®)30c. Cinnamon 10@13%c. Allspice 10@llc. Jamai ca ginger 18c. Singapore peppor 14c; Mace SI.OO. Rico fair 7/^c; good 6%c; common sy,(isnc; imported Japan 6 (is7o Salt—Hawley's dairy $1 B 0; Virginia 70c. Cheese—Full cream, Cheddars —o; flats Whito fish, half bids.s4 00; pails 60c. Soaps—Tallow, 100 bars, 75 lbs $3 00a 3 75; turpentine, 60 bars, 60 lbs. $225 a 250 ; Candles —l’arafino 12c; star 10J£c. Matches— 400s $4 00; 300 s #3 00.a3 75; 200 s $2 OOoS 75; 60s, sgross $3 75. Soda—Kegs, bulk sc; do l lb pkgs 5 Vijc; cases, 1 lb 5%e. do 1 and Vilbs Bc, do Vi lb 6*ic. Crackers—XXX soda XXX butter XXX pearl oysters 6c; shell and excelsior 7c; lemon cream 9c; XXX ginger snaps 9c; corn hills 9c. Candy—Assorted stick 6VJc; French niixoil 12V«c. Canned goods—Condensed milk $6 00a8 00; imitation mackerel $3 95a4 00; sal mon $6 00a7 50: F. W. oysters #1 75a ; L.W. $125; corn $2 50 a 3 50; tomatoes .$l6O. Ball potash $3 20. Starch—Pearl 4)£c; lump sc; nickel packages $3 50; celluloid $5 00. Pickles, plain or mixed, pints $1 OOal 40; quarts $1 50al 80. Powder—Rifle, kegs *5 00; toga 12 75; % kegs $1 50. Shot $t 70 per sack. Flour. Grain and Meal. Flour—First patont $5 50; second patont $4.75; extra fancy $4.15 ; fancy $4 00 ; family $3 .54)(354 00. Corn—No. 1 white 67c. No. 2 white 67 a; mixoil 65c. Oats— Mixed 42a-c; whito 44c; Kansas rust proof 51c. Hay—Choice timothy, large bales, 85 No. 1 timothy, large bales, 85c; choice timothy, small bales, 90c; No. 1 timothy, small bales, 83c; No. 2 timothv, small bales, 80c. Meal—Plain 65c ; bolted 58c. Whoat bran— Largo sacks 8)c, small sacks 82 Cotton seed meal—sl 10 per cwt. Steam feed—sl.3s perewt. Grits—Pearl $3.50. Comilrv Produce. Eggs Butter—Western creamery 20a22V£c; clioioo Tennessee 16al8o: other grades !0a12%c. Live poultry—Turkeys per lb; liens 28 and 30 young chickens large 18a22VJc ; small spring 10aI5c. Dressed poultry—Turkeys 18a20c; ducks chick ens 15a16. Irish p rtatoes, 2.50@2.75 per bbl. sweet potatoes new—7oa7s per bu. Honey- Strained 8al0c; in the comb 10al2c. Onions $2 50 per bbl. Provisions. Clear rib sides, boxed &%e, ice-cnrod bellies 10)4e. Sugar-cured hams 13a 15c, according to brand and average; California break fast baron !2al2V«e. Lard-I’ure leaf —0 leaf 9% ; refined none. Cotton. Market quiet —Middling 09tfn. LETTER FROM MR.ICLEVELAND Commending a Colored Democratic Worker. Herbert A. Clark, a colored man of Columbus, Ohio, recently prepard mi ar ticle in reply to some criticisms on Prc-i --dent Cleveland, presenting an argument to show from his standpoint why colored voters should support the ex president. Copies of the articles were tent to the two candidates and Clark is in r. ccipt of the following acknowledgement: “I have received your letter of the 21st in stant with clippings which you enclos' d and read them with the u'most satisfaction. I am well satisfied that in time to come your con sciousness of having done something to benefit, in a practical way, our colored fellow citizens, will be abundant compensation for the efforts yon are making in support of the democratic eanse. Assuring you that I fully apprec ate yontexpresseddelermmation to labor for the success of the democratic principles, I am yours truly, ‘ Grots* Clkvxland. CUBAN CIGAR MAKERS Threaten a Wholesale Exodus from Hat ana—High Taxes the Cause. Dispatches oi Friday from Havana state that an exodus of 16,000 cigar makers from that city is threatened. Tnc manufacturers nre in despair because of the increased taxaiiou which leaves them little or no margin for profits. The Florida Land Company has been offering such inducements for the removal of fac tories from Cuba to Tampa and Ybor C'ty that there is little doubt of many accepting. The employes are all eager for the change. A majority of li.e em ployes are in sympathy w th the revolu tionary movement and would be glad of a chance to uuite with the clubs, whoso headquarters are in Ybor City. Scarlet Fever Epidemic in London. Official figurrs issued Friday show that the scarlet lever epidemic that has beeu raging in London for a long time past shows no sign of abatement. There were on Friday in the Metropolitan asylum and London fever hospitals 3 560 cases of the disease. With the scarlet fever epidemic and cholera threatening to become so, it will readily be seen that the health au thorities will have their hands full in the fight with the two disorder*. The Western Reserve Wreck. A dispatch from Newbtrry, Mich., says; Up to 10 a. m. Friday, but three bodies had been recovered at the scene of the wreck of the Western reserve—Cap tain Minch and a lady supposed to be his wife and an unknown lady hut partially clothed as though hurried from her bed to a yawl boat to escape. M’DONOUGH. GA.. FRIDAY, SHIFT EM BEK 9, 1892. time and lovb. Bly old Time took little Cnptd, Tied a ’kerchief o’er his eyes; Turned him round, exclaiming, “Stupid Tell me where your true love lies.” Long as moons shall shine abova, Time will play his tricks on Love. Cupid, of his power reminded, Showed old Time what he could do; And, that though his eyes were blinded, Yet his heart would guide him true. Long as suns the heavens shall climb. Love will foil the trloks of Time. —Robert Brown, Jr. MARYS SOLDIER. ip-?-. W E N T Y - eight or nine years ago, dur- T&Sgiv/l ing latter part of the war, I was sta- A tioned in New York, VvißßAv# detailed as Inspector- General to raise a bri -3m successful, aud my camp of instruction • iallfl contained fair ma - *'■'*s?terial. It was a few miles distant on Jersey soil. One afternoon, while I was resting in my quarters after the fatigues of a hot day, an orderly brought mo the un pleasant tidings that my camp was in au uproar. The nicu refused to obey or ders, and open violence impended. The pay was in arrears through some red tape delay. The men were poor and their families were suffering. I dressed myself carefully in full un iform, hastened over the ferry and soon reached the high board fence which en circled the encampment. From within came a confused rumble like the portend of a storm. I approached the wicket. It was locked. I peered through tho lat tice. Thero was tho sentry, sure enough; but with what a difference! His musket leaned against a post. Ho sullenly slouched up and down with hands in pockets, in no wise heeding my presence. I would like to have shot that man, but I was bound and braced with self-control. “Attention!” I commanded sharply. Tho man stared, then straightened, seized his musket, presented, aud stood as a soldier. “Open that gate!” He obeyed at once, and I passed through and marched quickly forward. All over the field were knots of men, shouting, gesticulating, fiercely ha ranguing. Here and there wore a few officers arguing and pleading in vain. The majority, however, sat dejected I within their tents. It was a most dis tressing sight for a true soldier. I approached the first group of about 200 frenzied men. A captain was just leaving them, pursued by taunts and jeers. He was an insignificant man, with a repulsivo face; naturally pom pous in bearing, hut now thoroughly cowed. Y'et as he saw me he assumed a certain uneasy bravado. “Captain Johnson, at your service, sir," he answered, as he saluted. “What does this mean?” I asked. “They are fiends incarnate, General,” he exclaimed, as he glanced over his shoulder. “They will murder us all and ravage the town. Oh, what shall you do!” “I shall form the men." “Impossible. Why, that’s just what I’ve been trying; but—” “Silence, sir.” As I reached the mob I noticed one face alone which expressed respect or sympathy. All others bore a look of malevolence. A young soldier, well set up and scrupulously neat, seemed to he attempting to dissuade his comrades from some mad project. He was a line looking fellow, with a long, light mus tache and bright, blue eyes, from which, as I say, I caught a flash of admiration. I drew my sword and stood upright and motionless before the men. “Attention, menl Fail in!” I com manded. There was a hesitation, a momentary huddlmg together, and then they ar rayed themselves. “Present arras 1 Carry arms! Order arms! Parade rest!” I ordered, and they obeyed. Behind me stood a knot of wondering officers. “How do you dare!" I began. Then arose a growl from the ranks. ‘We want our right. We'll get them, too. We demand our pay. We won’t stnnd such treatment. Our wives, our children are starving.” “Silence!” I warned them. “Not another word. If you have grievances, if you have complaints, send them through the proper channel and they shall be heard and allayed, I promise you. Men, I’m ashamed of you. While your comrades are in the field facing privation and danger and death lor the glory of that old flag which you have only just sw'orn to defend, you, for a trifling delay which the throes of our Government should excuse, dare to mur mur and revolt. Out upon such soldiers! Do you know what you risk! Do you appreciate that I have but to step to that telegraph and the regulars will surround you and rake with an enfilad ing fire! Do you long to serve your country at Dry Tortugas! Have a care, or there you shall be sent, weighed with the contempt of all loyal men. Officers, to your posts 1 There will he a review presently.” “Three cheers for the. General!” shouted the clear voice of the blue eyed recruit as I turned away, and they were given with a will. So I went through that camp, speak ing as I never had spoken. Inwardly overwrought with excitement, but out wardly the cold, distant personification of discipline. Within two hours 1 had that brigade formed in a hollow square, and (rom its centre I renewed ©y threats and a)y promises. They were effective. Reason returned to the men, and with it came shame. What had looked like a dangerous outbreak aas quelled by moral force. As I left the parade I met Captain Johnson. “By-the-way, Capte a” I asked, ,4 wh» is that bright-looking young soldier of yours who seemed to be resisting tho madness of the men!” The Captain scowled quite unnecessarily. “That’s Thomas Browne,” ho an swered moodily. “He doesn’t amount to much.” I am certain you don’t, I reflected as I returned to the city. A month passed by. Discipline had done its perfect work. The mob had be come a well-drilled brigade. The men had received their arrears, and were eager to wipe out disgrace aud to achieve renown in action. The order for their advance was expect it daily. I sat in my quarters in this city, alone and idle, for my duty had boon fulfilled, and I was about to report at Washington. Tho door opened, and a tall, slender young woman, neatly dressed, stood before me. Her face was pallid; her large black eyes skoire intensely. “Oh, sir," she exclaimed, “save my soldier 1 He said that you might,” and she sank in a chair by my side weeping and moaning and wringing her fragile hands m a manner most pitiable to be hold. “But, my dear madam,” I expostula ted sternly, “this won’t do at all. If you wish my aid you must be calm and sen sible. Tell me who yon are, who your soldier is, and what you want.” My severity succeeded as I intended it should. She was a stout-hearted little thing, and she gulped down her sobs, aud in a moment sat upright and tran quil. “I beg your pardon,” she said gently, and I felt like a brute. “My name is Mary Graeme, and—and I’m engaged to Thomas Browne. He’s my soldier, you know; and he’s in the camp over in New Jersey.” “Thomas Browne!” Oht I remem bered. “Yes, ray dear, I replied. A fine looking young fellow, with bright, blue eyes, I think.” “Oh, such bonny eyes, so tender, so truel And they speak his nature, be lieve me. I know him so well; we were little children together. He has been placed undor arrest, sir, and is to be tried before tho court-martial now in session.” “For what offense!” “He was a sentry, sir, and was found asleep on his post.” Phew 1 Here was -a pretty mess in deed for the young recruit. “My dear child, I responded gravely, this is a most serious matter. Asleep on his post of duty in tho faco of the en emy 1 Why, it may cost him his life 1 And at the very time, too, when there has been a revolt hr cue camp and the court feels the necessity of a stern ex ample.” As I spoko the poor child wavered like a rare pale lily in a storm. But she remembered my warning, though her eyes streamed aud her hands strained in their grasp. “Oh, sir, hut he isn’t guilty, the poor boy. Think how tired he was. Up the whole night; ordered on duty agaiu the moment he was relieved. It was in human. No wonder he dozed without knowing it." “But—” “Ob, sir, I know what you would say: It couldn’t be. But it was. The Orderly Sergeant has always hated him. On the day before ho had ordered Tom— excuse me, sir, Thomas—when he was off duty to clean the equipments of an other soldier, which Thomas refused to do.” “He was perf«tly right there.” “So Thomas says. Besides he was expecting to see me. But that night when he came off his post, oh, so tired, the Sergeant ordered him right on again to take the place of the soldier whose arms ho wouldn’t clean.” “If this is so, no court will punish him for falling asleep.” “I’m so delighted. That’s what Thom as said he knew you would say. But he didn’t mean to—oh, no, indeed. He’s so ashamed; when he has been so anxious to distinguish himself for me.” Aud here a blush deepened through poor Mary’s cheeks. “He shall have the chance, never fear. But why didn’t you go to his Captain! Does be know theso facts!” Again Mary blushed and far less tran siently. Her fingers picked her dress uneasily. “Captain Johnson,” she faltered. “Ho doesn’t like Tom; he—he—likes me.” “Oh ho.” Here was a little drama. I recalled the Captain’s repulsive face and sullen ways, and I recognized the viilain’s part. “Besides,” she continued, “the Or derly is his brother-in-law.” “And he tells a fur different story, I suspect.” “Indeed, yes; there is no hope for Thomas from either of them.” “Well, my dear, save your tears and keep a stout heart. I like your soldier, and I like you. I believe tho story and you shall have my aid. But be cautious and secret. Tho court is now in session, you say?” “Yss, sir; all this week. But Thom as’s case was only reached this afternoon just before adjournment." “Then I must act at once. Good-bye now; you may rely on me.” And with a God bless you, wbi:h it seems as if I could feel even now, the girl withdrew. Yet with a sudden inspiration I called alter her, “What is the name of the sol dier whose place Thomas took?” “Joseph Brant.” Here surely was a difficult situation. The Sergeant hostile, the Captain vin dictive, what hepe gleamed for Mary’s soldier? Yet I followed the inspiration. The proof, if I only could get the proof 1 It existed, unless cunning had destroyed it. Again I arrayed myself in full fig. Again I hastened over the ferry to tho camp. I sought the Sergeant's tent and J found hi© within and alone. “Too stupid to be provident,” was my mental glance. “Sergeant, vour detail book, at once” I commanded. The man srared and gaped, and then handed it to me without a word. I went to a retired spot. I turned the pages with trembling fingers. Ah, fata had favored me. Thero was the record for the night in question, and among the reliefs I didn't find tho name of Thomas Browne, but I did find that of Joseph Brant. Then I Yisited the Judge Advocate, a friend of mine, a fine fellow, now a Supreme Court Judge of this State. “What sort of a man is Captain John son ?” I asked. My friend shrugged his broad shoul ders. “Hum!” he replied. “With all there is back of him he ought to get the single star in six months.” “Influence, hey?” “Great. But why do you ask!” “You needn’t go nny further, old fel low ; your scruples reveal more thau they eonceal. But to change tho subject. I am going to put a hypothetical case to you, and I want you to tell me just how you would act regarding it.” And I de tailed tho facta of Mary’s soldier’s troubles, using, of course, assumed names. The Judge Advocate deliberated. “A difficult and delicate matter,” be said. “The man is innocent, but lie would be condemned. The sentence would be commuted on review; still his career would be ruined. I thiuk I should do this: I should lay these insulo facts con fidentially before the President of the court. Then, if he approved, at the next session I should announce that tho main witness, the Officer of tho Day, was ab sent—and ho would be, too. And in view of the stress of other business, and of grave doubts of the defendant's cul pability, I should ask that tho case bo dismissed.” “You would surely do this!” “Certainly. It would be tho quickest and most prudent way out of a nasty rush.” “Then listen, old fellow.” And I ox plained my parable to him. “Aud hero's tue proof,” I said, in conclusion, aud I showed him the Sergeant’s detail book. “The villains 1" he exclaimed. “I’ll stick to my word, never fear. It’s tho wisest course, too. At this present cri sis tho friends of that Captain must not be offended. His time may como. But that Sergeant should be punished iu some way.” “Leave that to me. He shall lose his Chevrons, I promise you." “Very well. I’m off to sec the Presi dent.” The next morning came, the court convened. Mary was present, anxious yet hopeful, with her gaze fixed ou tho erect, manly form of her soldier. So, too, were the Captain aud tho Sergeant in attendance, the former exuliant, the tatter secretly worried. But I looked in vain for the Officer of tho Day. The Judge Advocate was faithful to his rehearsal aud letter-perfect iu his part. “I do, therefore, suggest,” ho said iu conclusion, “that this charge against Private Thomas Browuo bo dismissed,” “ThiiTseems a proper disposition," said tho President. “I think so,” said eacli officer, from tho junior to the senior; and Thomas Browne left tho courtroom a free mau, with the devoted Mary clinging to his arm. I caught Captain Johnson as he was sneaking away with a white, scared face. “Captain,” I said, “I learned tho truth of this matter, and I am responsible for this ending. You’ve had a lucky escape. Now, maik my words. Y r ou will reduce that Orderly Sergeant to the ranks forth with. He won’t appeal to the Colonel, nor will the Colonel question the act.” “I will do so, sir,” he murmured, as he hung his head and went to his quarters. I never saw him again, hut after the war, at Washington, I met Mary, a happy bride, with her soldier, and on his broad shoulders shone the insignia of a Major.—New York Times. Apples. For those who use their brains the apple is au especially proper article of diet, and for nervous people aud those suffering from any weakness of the spine for apples contain more phosphorus than nny other known fruit or vegetable, and this phosphorus is admirably adapted for renewing the essential nervous matter of the brain and spinal cord. The acids of the apple are also ot signal use for those persons of sedentary habits whoso livers are sluggish in action, these acids serv ing to eliminate from tho bony noxious matters which, if retained, render tho brain heavy and dull, or fetch eruptions to the surface of the »kiD, bring ou jau dice or like troubles. When eating meats richly cooked, one should accompany such dishes with plenty of apple sauce, as it will neutral ize any excess of chalky matter engen dered by eating too much meat. For sour stomach, too, the apples should bo enten, as its salt and juices are converted int) alkaline carbonates, which tend to counteract acidity.—American Fanner. Frightful Skulls. There are in the National Museum at Washington several skulls of tho Flat head Indians of the Northwest, which are the most extraordinary objects in that line ever seen. These Indians pro duce the peculiar deformity which gives them a name by tying fiat boards on the heads of their children, and to such an extent is the pressure carried that the skull just above the eyebrows is the most promiuent and highest part of the head. The effect must have been fright fully savage, for the skulls more nearly resemble those of apes than of human beings, the whole of tho brain being compressed into the back portion while there is no forehead worth mentioning, and the skull is so broad as to be shock ingly out of proportion. Nevertheless, it does not appear, from what travelers say of these people, that their minds arc in anv way affected by the distortion of their skulls, for in most respects they are said to be equal or superior to other In dians.,—Boston Trans oript. A London publisher is going to re produce the first folio 1683 edition of Shakespeare by means of photography. BUDGET OF FUN. — HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM V .VIIIOUS SOU HC MS, Always lieinlixleil ot It—" Except One”—Already Prepared Two Kinds ot Solid Water—His Usual Weapon, Etc. As we travel through life many things are forgot, ’Midst, its worry and bustle and fret; But we're never allowed to forget that it’s hot While our friends are beside us, you bet? —New York Press. ALREADY PREPARED. Milkman—“l’m glad my milk suits the baby.” . Mother—“ Yes; the doctor advised me to food it ou milk aud water.”—Now York Sun. “EXCEPT ONE." Ilaggams—“All the world loves a lover.” Hartly—“lt does, does it? May be you think so, but you don’t know my girl’s father,” —Boston News. HIS USUAL WEAPON. Magistrate—“ You ought to bo ashamed of yourself I The idea of your hitting your wife with a flat-iron I” Prisoner (aggrlovedly)—“Well, the poker was broke."—Pick Me Up. VERY WRONG. “You did wrong to call Dawson a flannel-mouth duffer.” “Well, isu’t he!” “Of course he isn't. Flnnnel sill inks, and Dawson’s mouth never doe3.”—- Judge. TWO KINDS OP SOLID WATER. “I suppose,” said Miss Biecckcr to her friend from Cincinnati, "that you boil your river water bofore using it?” “Well, no," replied Miss Buckeye. “Our usual custom is toslico It thiu aud fry it.’’—Life. RUTHLESSLY EJECTED. Wayfarer—-“Excuso mo, iny friond, but I am making deductions as to the progress of the manufacturing iuterests. What arc you turning out now?” Manufacturer—“ltineruut uuisaucos. Gitl”—Boston Oourior. SWORN TO OKLEBACY. Bellows—"I should think you would begin to think about getting married.” Breeze—“Oh, I have. I’vo givou it i great deal of thought.” Bellows—“ Well, when does the event come off?” Breeze—“Never!”—Boston Courier. A CAPACIOUS MOUTH. Fogg—“For goodness sake, howmucli more of that salad are you going to eat ? You’ve put away half a gallon of it al ready.” Feudeison—“Nonsense I I'vo only eaten a mouthful." Fogg—“That’s what I said.”—Boston Transcript. PRESSED HIM TOO CLOSELY. Father—“ Robert, I understand you were absent from school yesterday.” Robert (alias Bobbie) —“Father, lean not tell a lie; I played along tho road until it was too late to go.” Father—“ What were you playing?” Robert (blubberingover)— “Hookey.” —Chicago News-Record. SNARLEIGH WAS SARCASTIC. Cadmann—“l see no reason why I should join tho Washington Club. Snarlcigh—“Nor do I except that if you were a member, it would be in your power to tnako all the other four hundred members feel extremely happy.” Cadmann—“How would it?” Bnarleigh—“You could resign.”— The Club. A FAMILIAR SUBJECT. Wife (after returning from church) “You should have been in church this morning. Wc had a beautiful sormon.” Husband—“l’ll bet you can’t repeat the text.” Wife—“ Yes, I can. It was the tenth verse of the sixteenth chapter of Eze kiel; ‘I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk.’ ” Husband—“ Huh! it is no wonder you remember it."—Brooklyn Life. HE DREW THE LINE AT SNIGGERS. “Sniggers has got religion and is to be taken ffito the membership of the church next Sunday." “Then I leave.” “Why so?” “Free salvation Is all very well, even when it does bring every Tom, Dick and Hurry into the church, but 1 draw the line at Sniggles.” “Why?” “lie sold me a horse once.”—Now York Press. AN UNFORTUNATE ADMISSION. Johnnie had come home late and was being questioned as to how be bad been spending his time. “So that little boy next door climbed the ladder and grew scared when he got at the top,” queried the father, “and you went to help him down?” “Yes, father,” assented Johnnie. “What made you so long about it?” “Because,” responded the reluctant Johnnie, “it had taken nearly half an hour for me to coax him to go up.”— New York Sun. A WONDERFUL SON. Fussy Old Gentleman—“ Have you any children?” “Yes, sir; a son.” “4b! Does he smoke?” “No, sir; he has never touched a cigarette." “Does he frequeat the clubs?” “He has never put his foot In one." “Does he como home late?” SINGLE COPY 5 CENTS. “lie goes to bed directly after din ner. ” “A modal young man, madam. U*W old is he?” “Just two months.” _ « HAD TAKES IT. Railway King—“Wlmt do you think I need, doctor, to set me up again!" Doctor—“ Well, I think a little iron will help you.” Railway King- “Good. I gobbled up a whole railroad system last week.”— Truth. . v i IIAURY S TURN NOW 1 . Johnny, aged four, and Harry, aged live, had been left at home with their sister, mother having gone out. When bedtime came they wanted to stay up for mother, and it was hard work to get them to bed. Harry main tained a stolid indifference, but Johnny cried lustily. Their sister listoned at the bottom of the stairs, hoping that they would soon bo good. At last Johnny stopped, and the listener heard him say: “You cry, Harry. I’m tired.” HOW YOUNG HOUBEKEEI-EUS I.KARN. 1 “You charge tifteen ceuts for these berries, while up street two blocks t'aey are selling the same fruit at teu cents. How is this?” And the young housewife looked scarchingly at the dealer with her keen gray eyes. The man faltered an instant and then, boldly meeting the sharp orbs of the inquirer, replied iuatirm voice: “ These are band-picked berries, madam!” | “I beg your pardon,” she said meekly. “That being the case, giv> mo three quarts, please!"—Detroit Free Press. ■ 1 BCOnE ONE FOR TUB I KDAGOGUE. ‘“You have some tine ducks this morn ing," said the kindly old schoolmaster to a poulterer. “Yes, sir, all fresh to-day." “What is the price?” “You can take your choice, sir. I have them at all prices.” j “Well, I want to give my boys a treat, but I do not wunt them to bo too tender. There are a dozen here—pick out four of the toughest." The poulterer obeyed. “Hare, sir, you have four of the toughest birds iu my shop.” “Thank you, sir,” said the school master; “I'll take the other eight.”— Cinciuuati Commercial Gazette. Aii Incident of Bismarck’s Youth.' -j It is porhaps not generally known tliaf when he was a young man Bismarck was for some time an official reporter for ono of the courts of justice, says the Chicago Mail. In those days his temper got the best of him, hut upon one occasion at least his wit saved him from disgrace. This was when questioning a witness the latter made an imprudent retort, where upon Bismarck exclaimed angrily: “If you are not more respectful I shall kick you out of the court room.” , “Young man," said tho Judge inter rupting the Proceedings, “1 would have you understand that this is a dignified court of justice, and that if any kicking is to bo done the Court will do it.” “Ah, ycu see,” said Bismarck to the witness, “if you are not more respectful to mo the Court will kick you out of the room, so be very careful —very careful, sir." Snako Preserves in India. j A contemporary remarks that, iu spitt of the large sums paid every year in India as rewards for the destruction of poisonous reptiles, the latter seem to be as numerous as ever, no lass than 800 persons having been killed in the Pun jnub last year by snake bites. Our con temporary suggests that the prevalence of snakes may be attributed partly to the Mussulman prejudice agaiust swine and to tho British love of pig sticking. Snakes and hogs cannot live together, and, in the struggle for existence, it is the hogs that survive. On the whole, we should be more incliued to attribute the snakes to the high rewards that are oifered for their destruction. Tho wily native is quite capable of keeping pre serves of them aud thus earning a dis honest and rather risky livelihood.— London Globe. Before the Time of Bells. Before bells came into uso various in struments were used to summon congre gations to worship. In Egypt they are said to have followed a Hebrew custom in tiling a trumpet. In some oriental churches a kiud of rattle gave the signal. In monasteries, monks took it in turn to go around the cells, calling the inmates to their devotions by knocking with a hammer. This was called the “night signal," or the “awakening instrument." Bells are said to have been invented by Paulinus, Bishop of Nola in Campania, who lived in the latter part of the fourth century. This, however, is doubted. They were unknown in the eastern church until the year 865, and were first introduced into the Latin church in 604. I hey were common in France as early as tho eighth century.—Detroit Flee Press. ] Decimating the Woodpecker. In some parts ot the South the jfeople have a novel way of decimating what they deem a pest. The black red-headed woodpecker, in their opinion, does material damage to certain trees, and the following is the inexpensive method they adopt fi* his destruotioD. A pole is lashed to a tree or stuck into the ground for the pecker to alight on. When he does, a sharp blow is given the pole at tbo foot witu a «lub or axe upon the side on which the bird is. He drops stone dead. Brooklyn Gitiaen. A dog at Yardley, Penn., saw a bass in the river, and, leaping in, frightened the fish so that it fled to the shore, where it was grabbed by the dog’s master.