Henry County weekly and Henry County times. (McDonough, GA.) 1891-189?, May 08, 1891, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

THE HENRY COUNTY WEEKLY CONSOLIDATED JANUARY 1,1591. VOL. XV. PKOFESStOXAL t'A EDS. !)«■ p •* , ‘ npBRU - D ENT I ST. VcOosnroH <**. ' ll v-on* d suing work clone can I«s a* - ] ;o i.mediated oitl.c: lev -all ng on me in pi- - ,on or addre-flne me through the mail*, j Perm* cash, unless special ai langenients I ar" other»ise- made. Geo W. BbyaM | • W.T. Dickkn. ME VAX & DICKIE, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. McDoxoruu. Ga. Will practice in the counties composing he Flint Judicial Circuit,Supreme Court ri Georgia and the United States District Court. apr27-J y j If. Tl imiK, ATTORNEY AT I.AW, McDohopgb, Ga. Will practice in the ehunties composing , he Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia, and the United States District unit. marl 6-1 y p RKACiAX, ATTORNEY AT LAW. McDonoloh, Ga. Will practice in all the Courts of Georgia Special attention given to commercial and fiber collections. Will attend all the Courts it Hampton regularly. Office upstairs over rhe Weekly office. j *’• «»!.!., ATTORNEY AT LAW, McDonough, Ga . Will practice in the counties composing the Flint Judicial Circuit, and the Supreme and District Courts of Georgia. Prompt attention githn to collections. octs-’79 A.IIROWK, ’ ATTORNEY AT LAW, McDonough, Ga. Will practice in all the counties compos ing the Flint Circuit , the Supreme Court of Georgia and the United States District Court. janl-ly || A. I»EKI»I.ES, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Hampton, Ga, Will practice in all the counties composing the Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Court of Georgia and the District Court of the United States. ’Special and prompt atten tion give* to Collections, Oct 8, 1888 Jno. D. Stewart. J R.T. Danikl. STEWART I MAXIKI.. “ ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Gbikfin, Ga. J OH A 1.. TVE. ATTORNEY AT LAW, Gate City Natioal Bank Building, Atlanta, Ga, Practices in the State and Federal Courts. iTiJJJj tv ’; East Tbi. yirpia & Ga. R’Y. IS THE ONLY SHORT AND DIRECT LINE TO THE NORTH, SOUTH, # EAST AND WEST. PULLMAN'S FINEST VES TIBULE SLEEPERS B ET'W EEN ATLANTA & KNOXVILLE MACON & CHATTANOOGA BRUNSWICK & ATLANTA wiTiioir «■*%>« ii. Direct Connections at Chat tanooga with Through trainsand Pullman Sleep ers to Memphis and the West, at Knoxville willi IMillmnn Weepers lor WASHINGTON, PHILADELPHIA, AND NEW YORK. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION ADDRESS, B. W. WRENN, CHAS. N. KICHT ticnl*Ag . f A,l ; . T. A. KNOXYILLU. ATLANTA S> A T*A I? ! I undertake tn briefly »|3 " 4 B k ■ K P Pleach any tni::\ i it* il:£. n? |o-r*M.ii ot either Kll 3c I 8 vs Ij.- Itn ro-tid aud write, and who. >ll3 3 farter will work i»dustrio»*ly, 'Cj# 14 Y • howto earn Three TWu»4 Dollar*, a Year in their own l«c*litfe*,n berrrer they Kve.l will also furnish the nutation orerapb>yii’cnf,at w hw h jo* can earn that amount. No ni«»ney for meutii.-w. »«r<eaatui a* ab< ve. Faidiy and quickly learned. I deaire but o»« worker from each district or county. 1 liave already taught aud provided with employment a large \rhn are makhstr v*r a rear each If «.\KH and Mill I>. Full -jn-italtn FREE. -nca, K. t, AI.LfiX. ltox 40, AugutU, Maine, TEW iu*vt. g*tlbepa!>iforth«iJFiii ' rtr 'L r> «V ' ‘ K i-T Can*Mrvr. ei'tMlfrf* TM- • ‘ I •»«* » .ai . * sT- r -•-» *3 uy '.T9 rtf <- - . iU ibe taui**** : Itr.t . *-* u ]£*, Der Bl'»n Hv j|*{. . • B U XSBX.v ... • Highest of all in Leavening Power.— U. S, Gov’t Report, Aug. 17, 1889. PqU,! Baking Powder ABSOLUTELY PURE IT MADE HIM A MANIAC. A Brazilian's Pretty Wife Crushed by a Python’s Embrace. Rufus Hoyt, of New York city, who was at the Hotel Ryan yesterday, is, perhaps, one of the most widely travel ed commercial men of that city, rep resenting, as he does, some of the lar gest iron manufacturing industries in the United States. Observant of every thing that transpires about bim, be lias a stock of anecdotes large enough to fill a volume as voluminous as a labor commissioner’s report. Accosting a representative of The Globe, be said: “You men on the press are always looking for hotel stories, and there’s one here to-day. Do you see that gray haired man over these ?” point ing as he spoke to a tall, suh-tanued guest, who sat with crossed hands ou one of the benches. “His name,” continued the New Yorker: “is Bertram Smith. He is a Brazilian by every tiling hut birth, having lived there almost all his life, and it was there that i met him eight years ago. He owned a vast tract ol land in the Amizon valey, near the base of the Audez, and had the sweetest little girl for a wife that mortal man could wish for. Smith was prospecting for all, sorts of mineral on his property there, and I*sold him a lot of machin ery that was never delivered. I’ll tell you why. • • -Wtrrni 1 was down St the if- fftaeo Smith and his wife had just returned from the honey moon. He worship ped the very ground the girl trod, and she in turn was as devoted as ever woman can he. The house they lived in was a one-story affair, not pretty to ! look at externally, except it was cover- j ed With creeping plants, but plenty of | 100 m and the essence of prettiness and j comfort within. “.Mrs. Smith came from RioJanerio She had a mortal horror of snakes, and her husband used to joke her about it. Now, that couutiy is full of snakes, boa constrictors thirty feet long and as thick as sand files. There was a gar den about five acres in extent about the place, and here it was that the j bride of a few months used to get her outdoor exercise, except when accom panied by her husband, at which time 1 believe she would have faced all the cobras in the country. The prospec ting works were about three miles from the house, and one morning Smith star ted for there on horseback. He had a rifle with him. On his way home lie j saw a sixteen-loot boa wind its sinuous { way across the wagon road. The eous head was ra'sed for an instant, and the beadlike eyes glared at the intru der. The next instant a bullet had found its way to the reptile's brain, and with a few convulsions of its slimy body the python was dead. Being on ly about three-quarters of a mile from the house, Smith determined to try what effect the sight of a dead boa would have in quieting his wife’s ! fears. “lie is.ade fust liis hitching reiu to tlte (lead snake's neck and dragged it through the gates into the garden. Then lie went into the house and told Mrs. Smith about it. She implored him to have it removed, and at last lie consented. Then, fearing she would lose prestige in his eyes by an exhibi tion of cowardice, site said : “ T want the awful thing taken out of the garden, but to show you I am not afraid of it I will go out there aloue and inspect the remains.’ “lie scarcely expected she would do it. The dusk was falling and the bush es in the gar ’en began to cast grue some shadows about them. The girl was game, though. She got a little pearl handled revolver from the draw er, threw a summer shawl over her head and went oui. “ ‘lf you hear me shoot,’ she said, ‘you will know that the boa has come ■to life, and I shall expect you to res | cue me.’ Then she threw him a smile and a kiss ami was gone. (“Smith didn't like to discourage her, but he wished he hadn’t suggested the AND HENRY COUNTY TIMES. mcdonough,ga., Friday, mays, issh. thing. He sat there waiting, but every breath of w : ml seemed, as it blew through the open window, to bring a whisper of impending evil. He tried to laugh at his fears, hut they would recur iu spite of him: “Suddenly a pistol shot rang out on the still air. “ ‘Good God !’ He started wildly, seized his rifle and tntukhfor the doof. Then he laughed at hiuiswW. Of course she had fired the shot to frighten him. What possible harm could come to her in the garden with a seven-foot palisade about it ? -Pshaw! and he sat dowu again, but lie-kept his rifle in his hand mid listened. “Why didn’t she return? Surely it was time. LJien he thought he heard a screen, anAat last, 111 a frenzy of doubt, he burst through the glass doors and went in search of her. “Through the bushes he ran, calling her name at every step. There was no answer save the sighing of the winds through the cassia trees. 011 he sped, with a horrible fear in his heart of he knew not what. It had become quite dark, and no sign had lie found of the missing wife. Even as he neared the spot where t lay the dead snake, the husband nursed the hope that she was just hidiug to frighten him. “Now lie was nearing the spot. Great heaven, what was that ? There was something wrong. Madty he rush ed forward, possessed of a dazed, ter rified consciousness that the snake had come to life and was moving. A few steps further, aud then the sight that met his gaze was enough to have turn ed him to stone. There lay the dead boa just as he had left it. Near it was another and a larger one, evidently the mate of the reptile he had slain. This hellish monster was coiled tightly about some white object, and the man over yonder became a raving maniac as he followed with his eyes the sway ing motion of the brute’s scaly* head. The circles of the snake’s body con tracted and there was a horrible, crack ing sound Then an arm, a dainty, white-clad arm, was released H orn its bondage. It fell to the earth aud Smith saw it. He knew that the one being he loved best 011 earth was wrapped in that awful embrace. He heard the cracking of hones, and knew that his wife’s delicate frame w|iß be ing crushed into a shapeless mass. He saw the tongue of the snake licking leisurely the fair face which had smiled at him so sweetly few moments before, hut he was mercifully bereft of reason, anil he laughed at the siolit. , “What was left of that poor little woman’s body was recovered by the searching party that went to serch for lioth of them an hour later. She was buried in the old cemetery at Rio Janeiro, but Smith knew nothing about it. lie was an idiot for six months, aud my contract for mining machinery went by the board. How on earth that man lived it out I don’t know. There he is: gb and ask him.”—St. Paul Globe. A Cloud of Witnesses. We know of no medicine that has so many testimonials to its efficiency as S S. S., the great blood ' purifier. Many of the best known people in the country certify to the marvelous results it has wrought in the various forms of disease for which it is recommended. These testimonials come not alone from persons who have been relieved of their sufferings by S. S. S , hut from people who have witnessed the effects of the medicine. Practicing physicians, drug gists, pharmacists—in fact, all who have hkd an opportunity of observing the cures brought about by this gieat blood remedy—liear willing testimony to its efficacy. In its field, which is a w ide one, covering some of the most serious ailments of humanity, S S. S. has no rival. No more trials for tired mothers in administering castor oil to their hope fuls. < heatham's Tasteless Castor Oil has solved the problem. It is so pleas ant children actually wake their parents up at night and a-k for a dose of it. Price 25 cent*. STRAIGHT TII*S VOM YOUNG KAOII KLOS& BY 11. C. n^llGK. In chon,leg a wife for vow weal or your woe Experience proves it is l»id to go slow. Ami, also, to pick fromkhe girls vow have known i Since childhood began, And who with you have grown Regarding the virtues youfcAhoice must pos sess 4 To make matrimonial life a success, A good dispositioytomos first; then a mind Of plain common sense sfitl- book learning combined. Accomplishments next. *Sho should equal ly grace *{"“***■ The parlor or kitcheh‘#fid s»ne in each place. okt 4M She must play tjie jMB, knew lutin and sing, , X And gcloffn’ dinner tlutsi fit for a king. «*■ « Sliq needs to be and thrifty and neat, J Conscientious, affeetioiuite, patient and sweet; Independently aide to live without wealth, Courageous in trouble and robust with health. We ha’vwsaid not a word about beauty, al though It comes before all to the Average beau; Don’t marry a girl for hedteauty alone, For nothing is left when bfiuity has flown. Take the girl who nppeSjfejo lie plain at the start, For, alter you know her In mind and in heart And, able to realize ftfWy her worth, You’ll find her the loveliest Woman on earth. ’Tis the beauty wittiln I hat men ’-ever more prize, Not the beauty without thtxt so certainly flies; And the plain-featured giiliwill be sweet to the sight Long after the “beauty”, has turned to a “fright.” Who falleth in love wilh a Beautiful face Will fall 01 t of love after marriage takes place; but who makes a choice just, tor goodness and mind Will afterwrds worship an angel enshrined. And now you would like l me to tell, I sup pose, A mit The spot where this flower of womanhood grows. Tis not in a parlor, iu case you should call, Nor the streef, nor the high-toned society ball. Though over the world you iu search of her roam, You only can find her hid deep in the Home, And there, without, caring for you or an other, She’il be in the kitchen assisting her mother. Shut Oflf His Beer to Avoid Snakes. “How is it, lieutenant,” asked a young man of a gray-mustached naval officer—so says the New York Times —“that with your many years of sea life, involving, no doubt, many strange adventures, one never hears you relate your experiences of the sea ?” “Well,” was the answer, “I will re late to you a little instance of mis placed confidence. Some years ago I was attached to a ship on the China station. One night it was my turn to take the midwatch. I settled myself on the starlward bridge rail. “111 a few moments I noticed a com motion in tiie water close to the ship. There appeared not moie than a half cable length from where I was stand ing a most gigantic sea-serpent. I had often read of such things, but 1 ad nev er believed in them, but I could not doubt the evidences of my own senses. Id a moment it vanished, to reappear the next instant almost under our bow. 'The moon was shining brightly, and I got a good look at it. The monster’s head was fully as large as an ordinary flour barrel, and it was fully twelve feet above the water. “It disappeared in a few moments. The next morning at breakfast i re lated my experience to my brother of ficers, and soon after turned into my bunk. Just before lunch I felt like drinking a glass of beer, and, ringing for the hoy, ordered him to bring me a bottle. The rascal didn’t appear in a reasonable time and I rang for him again. ‘What’s the matter with the beer, Jim?’ I asked. “ ‘Nuthin’ de matter wid de beer, Mr. Hobstay.” ‘“Then why don’t you bring it?’ “ ‘Can’t do it, Mr. Hobstay. I>e doc tor done stopped yore beer. Said dat a pusson dat sees such snakes as you wuz talking about dis morning orn't to hah pa more beer.’ “And that is the reason that I don’t like to tell remarkable stories.” Hundreds of people drag along through the weary summer mouths their lives made miserable by chilis and fe ver aud who could be well aud happy if they would July take Cheatham’s Tasteless Chill Tonic. It never fails to cure aud is only 50 aud 75 ceuts per bottle. “No cure, no pay.” JUMPED FROM THE BRIDGE. An Incident in the Life of Robert J. Illghtoxver. The death of HOll. Robert J. High tower at his home in Johnson county recalls an incident of his early life which has hardly a paralle in the an nals of adveuture and is entitled to rank with the best incidents in early railroad history. Early in 1846 Robert Hightower, then a young man about twenty years old, came from Alabama to visit his un cle in middle Georgia. In those days railroads were some thing new in the south, and Robert hud never seen a train of cars or a railroad track in his life. The trip from Alabama was made partly by stage and partly on horseback. 11 is uncle tesided in the lower purt of Washington county, about fifteen miles south ot the Central railroad of Geor gia, which had been built just a few years previous. A few days after Robert’s arrival, he and his uncle set out on horsebuck to Tennille, the nearest railroad station, to attend to some business and to en able Robert to get his first view of a locomotive. Three miles west of Tennille the public highway crosses the railroad, which at this point runs through a very deep cut on a sharp curve. The high way ciosses by means of a bridge, which spans the cut, the floor of the bridge being about thirty feet above the track. Robert and his untie hud reached this bridge, when they heard a distant rumbling noise, which his uncle in formed Robert was the train approach ing from the west. They rode out midway the bridge immediately above the track, and con cludtd there to await the passing of the tram. As the iron monster shot into view around the curvo, the effect was be wildering upon Robert. Never iu all his life was he so fascinated by any thing. Nothing he had ever seen im pressed him so strongly, and lie at once became possessed by a passion to know more about it, to get closer to it. They had already dismounted and were holding their horses by the bridle reins, when the locomotive passed, un der the bridge. Impelled by an ardent desire to become latter acquainted with this steam monster, and knowing nothing of the danger would at tend such an act, Robert exclaimed : “I shall jump down on it and ride to Tennille, uncle, you bring my horse 1” His uncle, little thinking he was in earnest, and taking his exclamation as a joke, responded, “Jump ! I will come on to town with the horses.” Suiting the action to the word, be fore the astonished relative could pre vent him, he leaped from the bridge in to tln#space below. The distance from the bridge to the top of the cars below was about twenty feet, ar. extraordinary jump for anyone under other circumstances, hut to him full of extreme.peril. As he ma le the leap tho last cars of the train weie passing beneath him. These cars were “fiats” or open cars, loaded with bales of cotton piled one upon another as high as the tops of the box cais which composed the remain der of the train Good fortune went witli him on his leap. As luck would have it, he struck near the front of one of the cotton cars, and was carried backwards by the in ertia nearly to the other end of the car, where he gained a good foothold and sank down considerably shaken up by the jump, hut with no bones broken and not a scratch upon him '1 he top brakeman on the train was nearly frightened out of his wits at the sudden descent of a man from mid air, as it weie. When Termille was reached the train stopped and he alighted. lie was taken in charge by the train crew, who showed him the train from pilot to ca boose, much to his delight, and who ex plained to him the fearful risk he had taken, much to his surprise and hor ror. The acquaintance with the iron horse was made, but he cared not to renew it after the manner of the first introduction. His uncle soon arrived with the horses and was overjoyed to find the young man physically sound. The bridge still stands. Trains pass under it day by day, but no one else has ever sought their acquaintance as did Uol»ert Hightower. (Jut hero died a few days ago, having reached quite a mature age. HIS HEART TECIIED. A Negro Convicted of Disturbing Public Worship. One of the richest cases that ever occurred in the courthouse, sa) s the Atlanta Constitution, came up before Judge Yan Epps in the city court yes terday morning. Palmer Pease, a big buck negro, was put upon trial for disturbing public worship, at Rev. Ed Smith’s Baptist church some time ago. “Well, sah,” said one of the witness es, “hit wus lack dis. Do pastah, he opened de do’s er do church and called for luo’ners. No sooner’n he did dat Mr. Peace lie des slip iu at de back do’, he did, an’lie went er rackin’ up ter der uiotiTier’s bench, kickin’ an’ er squealin’an’er tuckin' a cur’ous fuss all do way.” “Why didn't somebody stop him?" asked Solicitor O’Bryan. “Stop who? Stop him ? W’y, dat nigger wus wild ; 1 tell yo’ ho wus wus'll er runaway mule. ’Sides dat, every now’ll den he’d stop an’ buck, same lack one er dose 'ere Mountany bosses.” “Did he get to the alter ?’’ “Who, him? Mr. Pease, yo’ mean? You des bet yo’ life lie did, an he fotch one er de dekins a bump in de stum mick, an’ sent him ter kingdom come, an’ deu he coch er holt er do pastah, Bre’r Smiff, an’ dey had, an' doy had, an’ dey had it!” ‘ Who got the best of it?” “Well, hit wus dis way: Bre’r Smiff, ho hud his eyes fas’ shot, an' lie didn’t Burmise nothin' 'tall 'bout Mr. Pease twell lie felt sunipin’ grab ’iui ’round de hocks. Den he open ’is eyes, an’he stop sayin’‘Giory’ an’ gun to rasslo wid de Bperrit.’ ” “With what spirit ?" “Yo’ knows, well’s 1 do w’at sperrit I’s colludin' to, hit wus do* sperrit of Decatur street licker.” “Was Pease happy?” “Happy, iHw, him ? WHrt yo’ talk in’ 'bcut. He wus do onlies’ happy mun in dal con regas li 1111. He wus fill’ wid do sperrit, but hit wus de yudder kin’ er sperrit, an’ him an’ Bre’r Smiff dey had it, an’ day had it, an’ day had it. lie flung Bre’r Smiff ercross de altar rail, an’ he belt ’im flown, an’ de wimraen folks, dey crawled under de benches, an’ some un ’em shot out ’er de chu'li an’ hit de grit.” “Who got the best of the tussle ?” “Who got de lies’? Why, him, Mr. Pease Bre’r Smiff warn’t nowhar, an’ hit luck six men to pull Mr. Pease off an’ chuck ’im out er de winder.” “Ilow long is tho church?” “Fifty fi’ foot, an’ Mr. l’euse went do full leukt on 'is all-fours, kickin’ an squealin' an’ makiu' cur’ous noise. I tell you, Mr. ’Bivan, dat wus er time, and dar’s no use in talkin’.” The witness was called down and Palmer Pease was allowed to make his statement. He is a big black fel low, unsophisticated and full of gall. “1 tel! yo’, jedge—” •‘Address your remarks to the jury, please,” remarked the court, with difficulty controlling the ristihilitius of the sftuatiou. “Yes, sah, I’ll do dat. Well, gen ’lcmens, hit was des dis way. I don’t deny dat 1 wus an unconverted sinner, an’ 1 des stood outside an’ listened at Bre’i Davis, who preached a mighty fine sarmiut. “A’ter Bre’r Llavis got trough, Bre’r Siniff, he get up, an’ he ’gun ter ’zort. Gen’lemeus, you’s uuver heerd lire’r Siniff ’zort, ef yo’ had you’d ’cu e me, sho’. He’s er ’zorter f'om way back. ‘‘Well, gen’lmens, hit wus des lack I tell you. We’u Bre’r Smifr gun ter 'zort, dat tetched me ’way down in de bowels of my compassion. 4 I fotched er leap, I did, au’ says tefmyse’f dat any man w’at kin tetch me dat away orter be reckernized. “Des es I tell you. I fotcli er leap, an’ my toe cotcli on dc do’ step, an I fell. But de sperrit ub grace was ou ter me, geu'lemens, an’ so be’p me 1 couldn’t stop. I des kep’ er humpiu’ twell I got ter Bre’r Sniiff. Some fool wiinmen folks w’at seed me got scart, an' dat’e de onlies’ reason w’y dey wus any commotion. “>'ow, geu’lemens uv de jury, dat’s de God’s irufe, ef ever I tol’ it.” By this time the court and jury were thoroughly demoralized. Solicitor O’Bryan tried to speak, but every time the image of that prancing Pega sus, running amuck, came up before him, be lmd stuff bis liankerchief in bis mouth to keep from being in con tempt of court. Judge Van Kpps looked out of the 1 Henry County Weekly, Established 187*1, ( Henry County Times, established 1881. window for a full minute before he be gan his charge. Finally he told the jury that the oidy question to deter mine was whether the fervor of the religious spirit or the fervency of the alcoholic spirit predominated when the prisoner was “tetched.” If the for mer was true he was excusable, and if the litter he was clearly guilty of the charge. After five minutes’ deliberation the jury returned a verdict of guilty, and l’ease was given ffiO or six months. The Doctor Was Kxclted. Instead of a necktie it proved to be a snake! I)r. W. A. Moore, of .Milledgeville, tells of a startling experience he had a few days ago with a highland mocca sin. Dr. Moore usually spends the early hours of the day visiting his pa tients, and when the task is completed he goes to his office for rest. His of fice is in the basement of his residence, and the floor is on a level with the ground. The other day about 10 o'clock ho lowered the curtains of his room to shut out the sunlight, and laid down to take a nap. After sleeping about an hour somebody knocked at his door door and lie jumped from his couch and was in the act of putting on his slippers, when be saw something under the side of bis bed which he thought was a necktie. He stooped over and picked it up and was horri fied to find that it was a good big high laud moccasin, lie threw it to the floor with a jerk, and as the beads of cold perspiration rolled down his face lie stamped it to death. The doctor is usually cool and col lected, but for an hour or so that day he was almost frozen witli dismay. “Would you permit me to read you my last poem, my dear young lady ?” “If it is your last really, certainly.” It is a little singular that the wo man your wife particularly dislikes is the one you arc most likely to fall iu love with. “Did the grocers make anything on sugar?” asked Lankin. “Yes,” said Broker Margin, “those who had any sand did.” A Stickler for Form.—Gentleman— “And why don’t you go to work?” Tramp—“ ’Cause I ain’t never been invited.” Thompson—“l can’t see why )ou find it so hard to meet your bills!” Dedway—“l don’t; I find it hard to dodge them!” (hight to be suppressed.—“ Was the play spicy?” “No; but the intermis sions were. Chat ley went after cloves four times.” “I suppose it’s all profit in the drug business?” “All profit? Do you sup pose we get fixtures and showcases for nothing?” Boys have been ruined because they had ( to stay at home and turn tho grind stone, when they should have been al lowed to go a-fishing. “l’leaso don’t talk to me. I'm sav ing my voice for tho opera.” “Why, are you to sing?” “No. lintobe in one of tlie boxes.” When a woman falls in love you cau’t make her believe all men are alike, and when she has been married ten years you can’t make her believe they are not. Any Man Can Do It.—Goldbags (looking out at the tenements) “Alas! It must lie very hard to be poor.” Wentinan—“Oil the contrary, it’s con foundedly easy to be poor.” “Jane, the biscuits were like lumps of lead this morning.” “Yes'm, I know that, but then I heard you say the master had to have a heavy breakfast before going to his business.” Tomdik—“They say that it is very hard for Frakslius to keep bis nose above the water.” McCuinmy— From the color of it I should say that he found the feat quite impossible. A Surprise for Both. —Lady Bar tholomew (as she finds the butler tak-. ing a surreptitious nip of the tweuty five year old sherry)—P Bulger, lam surprised!” The Butler —“So be I, uie leddy!” , One of the guests —“That is young Newdle’s bride, is it ? I don’t like her figure.” Another guest —“ 1 hat 3 where you and Newdle differ, tier figure is a 3 with five ciphers after it.” In clothing Copeland & Co. have anything you want, flannels, alpacas, mohairs, etc. NO. 30