The Covington news. (Covington, Ga.) 1908-current, March 17, 1909, Image 5

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A Methodical Being. A man of method who attended to everything on schedule time, whether It was work or recreation, had the fortune to fall in love when he bad passed the age of forty. The mistress of his heart put up with his oddities. He had regular nights for calling upon her, regular hours £or coming and going, regular theater and club nights, etc. In fact, she looked upon his regu¬ larity as something admirable. Things had been going on in this way for two years, and finally the great crisis came. They were to be married. The day was fixed, the wed¬ ding clothes were made, the guests in¬ vited, and the minister was engaged. At the appointed time they were all assembled. The bride was dressed, the wedding presents were displayed, but the bridegroom came not. The bride wept and fainted, hut it did no good. Finally some friends of the delinquent groom hurried away to see if be could >e found. He could. He was at home iu his room, reading as unconcernedly as if he had never contemplated get¬ ting married. “What Is the matter? Why don't you come to your wedding?” shouted his friends. The man of regular habits laid down his book. “I am very sorry,” he said, “but this Is my regular day for staying at boine and reading. I forgot it when I made the engagement. The wedding will have to be postponed.”—London Tit Bits. __ His Best. The late Sir John Stainer, one of England’s most celebrated musicians and composers, was once staying In a small Swiss village, and the English clergyman was on the outlook for a musician to assist at the service. Stainer was in the office of the hotel when the clergyman found him and started the conversation with “Do you play the harmonium?” “A little,” was the reply of the for¬ mer organist of St. Paul s cathedral. “Will you, then, be good enough to help us out of our dlthculty on Sunday ? We will read the Psalms, and the hymns shall be the simplest I can se¬ lect,” added the delighted parson. "I will do my best,” said Stainer, with a smile. The service proceeded satisfactorily, but the congregation at the close lis¬ tened to a brilliant recital. When the parson heard the name of his assist¬ ant he asked hint to dinner. “Do you smoke?” he asked at the close. “I will do my best,” responded Stain¬ er, and the ensuing laughter was the prologue of an entertaining exchange of Oxford reminiscences. When Boston Shuddered. “The superior Intelligence of Boston continues to excite the envy of her sis ter cities,” recently observed a promi¬ nent Bostonian, “and 1 propose to add fuel to the flame by citing the newest Instance thereof. A little boy in the Back Bay district, at whose house oc¬ cur many meetings of a certain liter¬ ary club, was asked not long ago by a returned Bostonian what had become of a family named Deering. " ‘The Deerings?’ said the boy. ‘Oh. they’re not asked here any more. They’re no longer on mother’s list.’ “ ‘No longer on the list? What's the matter?’ “ ‘Why. haven't you heard? Drusllla Deering sent a sonnet to the Atlantic that contained twenty lines!’ Lip* pincott's. Substantial. Tom—I ate of the cakes she made Just to make myself solid. Dick—Did you succeed? Tom—1 couldn’t feel any more solid if I had eaten concrete or building stone.—Utica Heraid. Astronomical Query. When the cow jumped over the moon did she leave the milky way behind her? ♦ < I I ♦ I Pianos and Organs I Tuned ♦ and repaired. I ♦ I— R. HARPER, ' I LEAVE ORDERS AT ♦ I C. A. HARWELL’S furniture store ♦ $ Scrugg Brothers, Practical Plumhers, Steam £ Gas Fitters 14 years experience. Established in Florida and Alabama. Reference First National Banks of Gaines¬ ville, Lake City and Apalachicola, Fla„ and of Geneva, Ala., or any reliable firms of the above named places. All Work Guaranteed. A Trial Order will Convince You. We will have our Shop in the Terrell Building. A Scholarly Child. Boston has for long enjoyed the reputation of having exceedingly learned children who art 1 able, so It Is said, to dispute on subjects far above the heads of their elders of other re¬ gions. But Boston is not unique. In a book entitled “The Scot of the Eight eenth Century" ian Maclareu describes a similar characteristic of the Cale¬ donian. It Is the Inevitable tendency of the Scot's mind to follow out even,- line to Its terminus, even if it L»e over a preci¬ pice, and to divide every hair till in finlty is touched. It is not only In church courts, but In market places and in railway sta tions, in humble cottages as well us in university societies, that the Scot is disputing, in every spare moment of his time, from morning till night. The story goes that a minister over beard a mother questioning her child as It supped Its porridge, after the day’s work was done. “What,” said this austere mother, “Is the true relation between kirk and state, according to the principles of the Free church?” And the favored child promptly re piled, “Co-ordinate jurisdiction with mutual subordination."—Youth's Com¬ panion. Posted on Music. In one of the large music publishers’ establishments on Broadway there is a man whose employment it is to be¬ come acquainted with all the music of the day, both classical and "popular.” Wheu prospective purchasers are un¬ able to enlighten the other clerks of the place as to what they want to buy, they are referred to him as a court of last appeal. “I wish to get a piece that has been running through my head ever since 1 heard It,” says the distracted custom er, “but the trouble is I don't know the title or the composer’s name.” “How does it go?” inquires the spe¬ cialist sweetly. “Something like this: Tum-ti-ti, tum tl-ti.” “Ah, yes; you will get It at the second counter to your right. Ask for the ‘Pink Waves Waltz,’ by Straws.” And the remarkable thing about it is that be has seldom, if ever, been known to fall.—New York Post. Teaching Cubs to Kill. Have you ever seen a cat catch n mouse and hand It over to her kittens to teach them how to kill? Well, a tiger is merely a big cat, and she teaches her cubs almost in the same way, only not with mice. An East In dian officer witnessed a scene of this kind. An old bull bison had been the victim, and the tigress had disabled him by breaking oue of his forelegs Just below the kuee. She never touched the throat, the usual place of seizing, but allowed the cubs to worry the disabled animal. The eyewitness relates that the cubs acted exactly like kittens, advanced aud retreated and worried the victim, all the time mew¬ ing and snarling, while the tigress sat near by, watching their antics and oc¬ casionally giving the bison a blow with her paw when he showed undue ac¬ tivity. Llano* of Venezuela. Venezuela received its musical name from the early Spanish residents, who saw a resemblance to Venice In the sites of the Inland cities. The llanos, or bleak plains, on which the ilaneros live a precarious life, have largely changed their character since Hum¬ boldt saw- them. Then these great plains of grass supjtorted innumerable herds of cattle, but civil war led to the destruction of the beasts to feed the insurgents. The llanos are now rapidly becoming a potential source of timber. It Is all right to vote for the coun¬ try’s prosperity, but you must work for your own.—Atchlsou Globe. THE COVINGTON NEWS The Penalty of Kindnees. The man who had abeut three times as much as he could carry felt In his pocket for a uickel. The conductor waited patiently while be extracted a package cf cigarette papers, four matches, a little wad of string aud a corkscrew. “Noshing doin’,” said the sozzled oue aud immediately lost interest iu the matter. “Come, get off.” said the conductor. “Here; it's Jefferson avenue. I can't let you go any farther without pay¬ ing.” Just then a fat man leaned over aud gave the conductor a nickel. "Let him ride,” he said, aud the “con" rang up the fare and passed on. Wheu the car reached the end of the line the inebriated gentleman was still dozing. “Why don’t you get off?” roared the “con,” shaking him. “Where do you waut to go?" The passeuger opened one watery eye sleepily. “Where do I go?” he exclaimed. “W'y, Jefferson avenue!” — St. Louis Republic. _______ Bigger Than the Sun. A minute parallax ot about one-six tieth of a second of arc found for Arcturus by Dr. Elkin gave a most astounding result. This small pural lax implies a distance from the earth £qual to about 12,000,000 times the sun’s distance. This vast distance would produce a diminution of light of about thirty-five and one-fourth mag Oitudes, so that the sun placed at the distance of Arcturus would be reduced to a star of only nine aud three-fourths magnitude. It would not be visible with su opera glass. Arcturus is therefore in round numbers nine and one-half magnitudes, or over 0,000 times brighter than the sun would be at the same distance. Assuming the same density and brightness of sur face as the sun, the diumeter of Arc¬ turus would therefore be about sev enty-nine times the sun’s diameter, or over 08,000,000 miles, and its mass about 500,000 times the mass of the sun—figures well calculated to “stag ger the Imagination.” Why Sailors Like “Scraps." It has long been observed that -the •ailor, whether in commercial or gor ernmeut service, takes a peculiar de light in “mixing up” with the blue coat, hut this inclination has been at tributed more to a natural exuberance w-bleh comes with a land leave, ac¬ celerated somewhat by artificial means, than to animus Inherent with deep sea life. But why this feeling? Perhaps It Is that the strict rules of marine service, the long periods of close con finement to which the seaman Is sub¬ jected, make him a hater of any oue who wears the emblem of authority when he Is temporarily enjoying free dom on shore leave away from the re straints aboard ship. The sailor wants liberty In Its full sense, and, realizing that the bluecoat Is the chief obstacle to bis obtaining It, he develops a firm conviction that the policeman ought to be trounced on general principles. In time it becomes his chief peaceful am bitlon. -Brooklyn Standard Union. Poetic Justice. A certain couple in a New England village, each the parent of six children, had meted out to them a kind of poetic Justice in which they failed to see the poetry. The woman, a widow, pleading that she had no home and was therefore unable to care for her children, Induc¬ ed the local authorities to admit them to an orphan asylum. The man, a widower, pleading be had no house¬ keeper and therefore no one to care for his children, Induced the authori¬ ties to admit his six also. Thereupon, being freed from all Incumbrances, these two married. All went well for a few months, when the authorities, learning of the situation, promptly dispatched the twelve children back to their parents, and, the woman no longer able to rep j resent without herself as housekeeper, homeless or they the man as a were forced to reoelve them. Death In Variouc Forms. A crank came running into the office and said that a man swallowed a twa foot rule and died by Inches. The edi¬ tor started out at once to learn fur¬ ther particulars of the death and, meet¬ ing Dr. Martin, told him about the •ase. He said that was nothing; that he had a patient once who swallowed a thermometer and died by degrees. A eouple of bystanders just then chipped In. One of them said It reminded him of a fellow in Kansas who swallowed a pistol and went off easy. The other one said he had a friend who took a fyiart of applejack and died In good spirits.—Exchange. All Right. “That girl's all right,” said the blond girl In the dressing room after •be had looked everywhere for her overshoes. “The one who has Just left, she’s gone off with both the right overshoes and left me the left ones.”— New York Times. An Early Riser. “Are you an early riser, Pat?” “Am I? Sure, I’m sleh an early riser, sor, that I’m afeared some time I'll ketch meallf gittln’ up when I’m goln’ to bed!*’—Yonkers Statesman. A Good Excuse. Little Willie—I don’t need to take a bath tonight, mamma. Mamma- Why not? Little Willie—I w-as out in the rain today and got all wet.—New York Journal. I speak the truth, not so much as I would, but as much as I dare, and I dare a little the more as I grow older. —Montaigne. Couldn’t Fool Him. A Morris Hirer oystermau attended a baud contest oue winter night in Morris River. The contestants blew into their great horns as if to burst their lungs. The drummers banged their drums with might and main. Cheeks were red aud rouud like ap pies. Eyes almost started from their sockets. The oystermau enjoyed it all. But his attention was distracted by a deaf old gentleman who in the pianissimo passages put a large silver ear trumpet to Ins ear. Whenever he did this the oystermau sneered. And at last his honest hatred of anything approaching sham overcame the man's reserve. He elbowed bis way to the deaf old gentleman and said: “Look here; that don’t go here. Ev¬ erybody knows you can’t play that with your ear. l*ut it away, mister. You can’t fool us.”—Los Angeles Times. Toy* of Revolution Times. The toys of the French revolution period were characteristic of that ter¬ rible time. There are tops whose shadows cast the profile iKirtrnlts of Louis XVI. and Marie Antoinette. These are turned iu boxwood and are indeed interesting reminiscences of Jackson Dickens’ Full Name. Charles Dickens was christened Charles John Hufl'am, or lluffham, as it is erroneously entered in the par¬ ish register. But when lie became fa mous lie dropped the lust two Chris¬ tian names, as lie desired to be known as plain Charles Dickens, a wish re¬ spected on his tombstone in Westmin ster abbey, by his biographer and friend John Forster and by the scru¬ pulously accurate Dictionary of tional Biography. Just Goes Out “Mother, when the fire goes out, where does it go?” asked a chit her parent. goes out!” Useless Luxury. could fancy a little broth.’ rou up?” PROFITS CUT ALL TO PIECES ON OS Pen or Fifteen Different Makes. $10 Profit on Factory Prices. See This Line Tefore You Make Your Purchase. It Means Money To you. C. A. HARWELL, Leader In Furniture and Undertaking Covington, Ga. NICE FRESH GROCERIES You will always find at my store as nice afwt} fresh ceries as can be found in the city, and when you purchase them from me I make it a point to get them _td hdtttib just as quick as it is possible for me to do it. . FRESH MEATS I also have in connection with my store a first class Meat Market and can furnish you with the choice kind of Meats you like so well. Giveme an order. I will appreciatr it and will try to please you. Cigars aud Tobacco. Cisli Pal# for Hite. R. F. Wright, Covington, Georgia. Everybody Takes Them- mm I ; Wl IAT? Rol linson's Black Bit tors. WHY? 1 Because t hoy do all that is cliatned |J for them. 75 Cents Per Buttle. ( FOR SALE BY | ( oogltT & Wood, Mansfield, ( ia. 1 W. S. Marbut, Almon, Ga. I)r. Luke Robinson, Covingto n. Ga. I IL