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TURKEY'S WAY WITH BOOKS. A copy of Mr. Howard Crosby Butler’s “Story of Athens” was sent recently to a person living in Tur key, but was returned to the pub lishers inscribed in French, "Entry not authorized—return." Inquiry developed the fact that ns hook can be sent through the mails into Tur key unless it is on the approved list. Instead of having a “black list,” like Russia, ruling out certain books, Turkey has the much more conven ient arrangement of a “white list,” which makes it very simple for the censor. If the book is not among the select number of the “autorisea” back it goes. All books with illustrations, maps or plans are thought to be particu larly seditious. Mr. Butler’s “Story of Athens” happens to be rather complimentary to the Turks, but the fact that it has illustrations and contains a reference to the prophet (which from a Christian is profane) will forever rule it out of Turkey.— New York Mail and Express. A Snub He Deserved. While in Canada Lord and Lady Lansdowne pleased the Canadian people by their friendly and unas suming manners, which were in marked contrast to those of former f overnors general and their wives. t is related that at a garrison ball at Halifax the colonel of the regi ment that was giving the dance came up to Lady Lansdowne and said: “Lady Lansdowne, won’t you give me a dance, please? I’m tired of dancing with these silly little colonial girls. They have no style. I believe I’m engaged to one of them for the next dance, but you might be kind enough to rescue me.” Lady Lansdowne replied in tones loud enough for everybody to hear that the colonel was unfit to associate with any decent people, colonial or otherwise, and conclud ed, “If this is the way you treat your guests I will relieve you of the presence of one of them at once.” Then she ordered her carriage and left the ball. CONDENS Joaquin Miller's S Inherit, Joaquin Miller first investors in U Passing the question profit, these wells furmsi.. u ...... with at least one good story. The poet visited the Lone Shir State to inspect lus property and there met a man who answered to the title of “colonel.” One day when this man and the poet were together the talk turned to the war of secession. Mil ler thought his companion had taken part in that struggle, but the colonel said he had been a noncoin - batant. Then Miller made a hold guess that the title was derived from a militia commission. But not so, nor was it a result of an appoint ment on the governor’s staff. Nei ther did it come from service dur ing the Spanish-American trouble. “Ah,” said Miller at last, think ing he had the mystery solved, “you commanded the Texas rangers at one time. They were brave men, and it was an honor to lead them.” “No,” said the colonel, “I never had anything to do with the rangers.” \ “Well, tell me,” persisted Miller, “is the title merely assumed ? Have you no right to it ?” uiouoivo one of the cowboys said “Wow!” the conductor of the train waved a red flag, the engineer let out a squirt of steam, and the cor respondent went through Sharon Springs, leaving a cloud of dust be hind him that looked like the re mains of a cyclone. Ho went through one fence and took the cor ner oil one barn and finally brought up against tho sido of another. A committee of villagers helped him un, he remounted the horse, start ed again, and the last seen of him he was far out on the horizon, still followed by the rolling dust cloud. He came in later on a meek cay use lent to him by a friendly cowboy, who incidentally informed him that he had been riding the most famous race horse of that'end of Kansas and that the horse was trained to run when tho reins were pulled tight and stop only when they were slackened.—Argonaut. teresled speci ment say that those words v,. er spoken, hut the sentonce uws ar ranged after the tight was over. The inside fuels regarding the great May day hat tie of 1838 put a new light on*the ii "idem, and one who talked with tlu? admiral imon after that battle is* authority for the following veracious mvount: Admiral Powov never gave tho order, in words at least. That utterance uus pm in his mouth by others and agreed upon ns nn appro priate on.* to down to poster ity 11I0U4 \.i:m til.- itlier famous say ings of history. <»on after the last shot had l»« «*is t!ivd and the .Spanish power in tin* Pacific was u thing of the past tin* new.-paper correspond ents gatheii J about the admiral, as is the custom or: ,-.:eli occasions, to § et the facts for thpir dispatches, 'he admiral told briefly everything that had taken place, and when he What Wearies a College President. President Iladley of Yale, writing had finished his recital the group in the Youth’s Companion on the 1 fell to discussing the events of the “Certainly I have a right to it— work of a college president, tells of I day. Finally one of them rernind- the best kind of right,” replied the the deluge of letters that comes to colonel in an offended tone. “If him. Many of the letters are of you must know how I got it I’ll tell course simply handed over to tho you. I inherited it. : university secretary or treasurer. “Inherited it!” ejaculated Miller. Others contain ti more personal “From whom, your father?” | note. Says oue correspondent: “No, sir. From Colonel James j Dear Sir—I have offered you a f»!r chal- Smith who died two Years ntm I ,ens ° for tt 1>ub,,c debate with me con- omiui, wnc aicti two >ears ago. l cernln(; the method adopted In the crea- married his’ widow.” — New lork tlon of the universe. I hold that It Is the r Pi*jj es duty of tho president of Yale university j to discuis a toplo like this with every one Bogus Bohemlanlsm. The real bohemian does not wish ! >’°u recreant <0 be put on show for the delecta- who Is wilting to do BO, and unless you name a time and place I shall proclaim duty. Another and younger man who is tion of persons who do not under- more interested in the present than 6tan4 him. There is a story told of in the past begins: Maurice Barrymore which illus- ! Dear Slr-t write to Inquire whether your college Is composed of a baseball A third correspondent soys: I feel that I have a call to preach the gospel, and therefore If arrangements can be made for my support I should like to take a course of study In the Sheffield Bclentlllc school. The Pope’* Wig. I recently saw in a newspaper a repartee of the pope, who has a ready wit. The following story of him is current in Italy, where he personally is most popular even among the anticlericals. He has, or is supposed to have, some nephews who find it somewhat difficult to extract money from him. The wife of one of these nephews i9 said to have undertaken to get some from him. She solicited an interview and, having obtained it, said: “Holy father, I come to seek your advice. I am poor, I have a largo family, and, alas! I am in debt. I have been gifted by heaven with a good voice, and the proprietor of a music hall has offered me a large salary to appear on his stage and sing a few simple songs. Ought I to accept the offer?” “Certainly,” replied his holiness,' “and I only regret that my official position will not allow me to be present at your debut.”—London Truth. The Usual Way. Signor Tosti, the composer of “Gcodby, Summer,” “Beauty’s Eyes”.and other popular melodies, is an Italian by birth and education. His first two songs, it is said, were refused by the three Italian publish ers to whom they were consecutively submitted, but eventually became the most popular of his pieces and a year after their appearance were purchased for a large sum by one | club, of the publishers who had previous- i ly declined them. “Forever and Ever” is another Tosti song which received the same treatment. Novel Theatrical Advertising. American actresses are not the only ones who know how to get their names into the papers. ty week or so ago Jcauno Uranicr took a party in her motor car to the outskirts of Paris. Just outside of Tonncrre a shower fell that drenched all of thorn. Mile. Gronier saw her op portunity. She sent for tho village tailor, shoemaker, milliner, hatter and hosier and bought complete out fits for her guests at a cost of $300 and then sent for the reporters. On tho same day an actress in Berlin was accosted by a “Johnnie.” So distressed was slio that to rid her self of him she jumped into the Spree. He was so frightened that he fainted on tho spot and came to only when sympathetic bystanders trates this point. Entering a famous j , h “f““"S* ““ th ?‘ th , e Wb» d bohemian Sub in New York 0 ne other hank of the night, tt found a lot of commercial : ™er without any more harm to men in’full possession. They greet- j herself than a wetting. ed “Barry** effusively. Hehadnard-j ly got himself “fairly sat” when one ; ** ot t0 ?, uart ! r * of them slapped him on the back j Senator Iillman tells of an old and said, “Barry, speak us a piece.” . d flr ky in his employ that ho once Then a chorus said: “Yes, get fun- I Permitted to make use of certain ny, old man. Cut up. We’ve all i ^nd for farming purposes on condi- heard that you wero a great enter- j |j on t* ie darky should givo to tainer.” Barry glared around for senator one-fourth of tho crop a moment and then said, “I’ll do a ra “, • , . , handspring for you, gentlemen, but ! .he harvesting of the crop the I can t speak a piece.” Then he , ®enntor vvn amazed to find that the reached through the silence .and darky had not kept lus part of the picked his hat off the hook. That i agreement, for, while ho hauled was the last time he entered the ?'™>’ l > ,rc< ’ wagon loads of produce, he had not sent n single one to the senator’s barn. Tillman called the The Taciturn Man. negro’s attention to tho fact that In Mr*. Van Ynr-i. the author of ’ hod taken the entire crop, asking; ed the admiral that it was custom ary for some famous utterance to be handed down from every important engagement in history; some terse, brief expression characteristic of tho man who led his forces to vic tory. “Didn’t you make some ut terance or give some order during the fight that we can use in this connection ?” asked one of tho news paper men. “No,” replied tho com mander in chief; “nothing in par ticular that I recollect.” “Well, didn’t you give-some direc tion of some sort that can be used in that way?” “No,” replied Dew ey; “nothing (hat’s noteworthy.” “Well, vvliat did you say when you ordered tho fray to begin?” asked the correspondent. “Simply order ed Captain Gridley to go ahead.” “Ah!” ejaculated the correspond ents, breathing sighs of relief. And thereupon the famous order, couch ed in the words which have hceome known everywhere, was suggested and agreed upon generally. The subsequent dispatches were featured by the words then arranged and put into the shape in which the order will nppeur lip histories for centu ries to come. Motes Had Changed. Visitors to Washington will recall the bronze statue of Abralmm Lin coln in the center of Lincoln park. It was purchased with a fund raised by former slaves to commemorate their liberator. There is a replica of tho statue in Boston, reared by the liberality of Moses Kimball. Bostonians tell a story concerning tho rcmnrk of Oliver Wendell Holmes when lie was first shown the Lincoln statue in Boston. Beneath t that statue and on the granite baso ' “Are you Ada Ilazlcwood case?" as.,.. court. “Didn’t know it was set for to day,” replied the attorney. “Thought It was down for tomorrow." “No, it was set for today, and tho witnesses are here.” “Well, let’s put it off until tomor row. Wo are not ready," pleaded tho lawyer. "Can’t do that,” ruled the court. “Wo’ll take the state's testimony to day, and you cau put your witnesses on tomorrow.” “But I don’t want to do that.” "Well, you’ll have to do it.” “Bet you a dollar vou don’t take the stute’e testimony, said tho luw- ycr. "Guess we will if I say so.” “Is tho bet still good?” "Yes; I’ll take it.” And the money wits put up. “The witnesses for tho otate in the case against Ada Ilazlcwood will rise and bo sworn,” ordered tho court. < “No, yon don’t!” retorted tho law yer. “We waive examination and will go to the grand jury. Givo mo the S3.” , And the court turned over tho money.—Green Bag. The Fastidious Clubman. An unusually bold London pick pocket tried to remove tho valuables of a Piccadilly exquisite ns ho snmi- tered to his ciith one morning. Tho from .lie k, rcau of labor statistics . are more than 43,000 such pereu-. —28,000 men and 17,000 women. Two-thirds of them are native born too. These persons who have retired on competencies arc apparently not, as a rule, the owners of large for tunes. Indeed, most men of large fortunes, it is safe to' say, do not retire till physical infirmities com pel them. In tho list are an amaz ing number who were farmers— more than 3,300—whereas less than 3,300 were merchants. Even tho retired blacksmiths number 359, and there are 1,070 “laborers” on this list.—World’s Work. Indians and Long Hair. There is a rumor in Indian Terri tory that the Indian inspector re scinded his order requiring Indians to have Choir hair cut because ho could not make it operate with equal effect upon the large number of long haired white men who roam around the territories. It seemed to ho hardly fair to the red men to make them live up to a higher style of coiffure than their white brothers. The Woman Who Toils,” had many amusing and odd adventures burin; her life us a worker. One adventure “Now, how’s that, Zeb? Wasn’t I to receive a fourth of the crop?” “You was, Massa Tillman, you that has not heretofore been printed was,” excitedly exclaimed the darky,! concerned a taciturn man. ! “but'dare’s only three loads, sail,: only three loads.” She met this man on a New Eng- land road mending a worm fence. j “Can you tell me,” she said to ; him, “how far it is from here to the j next town?” A Tramp's Hidden Treasure. A number of young men in an Ohio town recently thought that He pointed forward. “Milestone | they would have with a little further on will tell you,” lie I tramp if a good Tj^toioii could be growled. ! discovered. The Rudeness such as this vexed Mrs. j tame looming up out of space Van Vorst. “But the milestone will was captured, lie was given a bath, ho no good to me, for 1 can’t read,” j shaved, his hair was cut, and he was then decorated with a new suit of fastidious clubman seized the thief by the wrist, gazed at his filthy paw and flung it from him with disguat, saying, “For goodness’ sake, my good man, wash your hands before you put them into a gcntlcman’a pocket." A Story ot George III. The death of Dr. Temple, arch bishop of Canterbury, last winter recalled the manner in which Arch-1 bishop Sutton, who was ut Lambeth palace when Dr. Temple was horn, 1 received his appointment from ] George III., says a bonbon paper. One night after the death of Arch- ! bishop Moore Dr. Sutton was en tertaining some friends at the Windsor deanery. There was u knock at the door, and the butler j announced that a gentleman out- ; side who would not come in was How Russia Expands. The progress of Russia is like the spreading of ink over blotting pa per. There is no natural barrier in Persia to throw her back or head her off, such ns tho mountainous frontier of India. But the prospect of Russian absorption of Persia is not practical politics today. Neither is it practical politics nor healthy patriotism to hound on Great Brit ain to occupy, finance, protect or claim rights in every country which lies upon her road to India or Afri ca nr America or tho south seas. Such a policy is merely suicidal. We can barely govern efficiently our present possessions. Fresh largo responsibilities in Persia, in China anil ultimately in Turkey would 6imply weigh us down to the gun wale and finally sink us.—London Outlook. Light From Microbes. Professor linn Molisch of Prague hns reported to the Vicuna Academy of .Sciences the discovery of n lamp lighted by means of bacteria, which he claims will givo n powerful light anil ho free from danger, thus being valuable for work in mines and pow der magazines. The lamp consists of u glass jar, in which a lining of saltpeter and gelatin, inoculated with bacteria, is placed. Two day* after inoculation the jar become* illuminated with a wonderful bluish green light, caused by the innumer able bacteria which have developed in tho time. The light will bum brilliantly for from two to three weeks afterward, diminishing in brightness. It renders faces recog nizable at a distance ot two yard), and largo type is easily legible by it. The Boh Janitor. A janitor in a Now York apart ment house must ho a mechanical Proteus. The first class janitor not only gets his rent freo and a good •alary, but ho has an assistant to take caro of tho hall, tho stairs, tho front steps, the cellar and the side walk. Tho boss janitor merely au- pcrviscs these details and devote* most of hi* working timo to fixing locks, putting in broken window*, looking after the steam heating ap paratus and tho electric dynamo, making general repairs nnd saving tho landlord many u dollar by avoid-’ ing tho employment of tho plumber, the glazier and the carpenter, who charge by the job and charge high. —Pittsburg Dispatch. What Ailed Him. Anxious Neighbor—Silas what th’ dooso is th’ lnattei ot that boy o’ yourn? Ev’ry day ho seems t’ have a change o’ plans nnd ockv- pation. Father Hornihsnd—Nothin’ eery- ouh. He’s keenin’ track o’ them icr nrtieklcs on how t’ suck- u j noospano anxious to see the bishop. Impa- ce cd. Ev’ry one tells a dirt’rent wny, tient nt being disturbed, Dr. Sut- ton hurried to the door to find the king, “llow d’you do, my said King George. “I’ve come to tell „ W03 nn > ns criptioh telling the his. ^ right”sortTnally! ! or - v oC lho memorial. The name of Tho bishop bowed, and “All right,” out of space and | “ ose * appeared in letters ’, a jj tlm king. “You’ve got a party. an’ he’s try in* 'em all. Soon ns he nd fP t8 ovcr *1 n little I’m /join’t* put or ii I t* plow’ in th' hillside lot, wrhero 1 to tell ; th* broom sedge is thickest. That *1! yon that you rc* archbishop of Can- • gj Vo 'jm n chanst t' find out what a ‘ torbury. 1)you accept? hh? hli. . f 00 | j lc » a | JC c*n.—Baltimore Amer ican. she said T chuckle* said. [’hereupon the taciturn man J clothes. A fire was started, and the j **““£?’* , I ? onu,nent ” icklcd a little. “Ho, l.o,” he ! young men told the tramp that they ‘Ji 6 1. “It is just the kind of mile- i were going to burn his old clothes.; rcl "arked. urcr - <!,.* can’t rend for • I to had undermine tho nrevim,. . " ell > wcll! . How Moses Kimball mon stone for people that can’t read, for i He had undergone the previous T all the writin’s been washed off of : painful operations, with a‘worldly! tVr g ~ CleVeland ptaw -T it.” l wise Emile, but at this announce- * “* c \ Hi* Good Offices Assured. “If you don’t mind,” said the ten ant timidly, ‘I’d like the privilege of having my children go in and out tho front entrance to the building.” “That doesn’t seem unreasona ble,” admitted the owner of the flat building. “Of course I can’t prom ise anything, but I’ll use my influ- erjl t ™i”-S 1 ieaoo 8 poi^ “ ! The lat " Iiev ' Geor « c Kocni 8’ * I found $1,400 in bills sewed in can be arranged. Urn g • ! Brooklyn clergyman, who was rath-,; the lining of the ragged coat, er puritanical in his views, rebuked one of his parishioners whom lie saw with her hair profusely curled. If the Lord intended your hait t of very large size—in fact, five or fcix i £C . e all their hats there. Go hack ! tunes as large ns were the letters in to them. Gotd night” * | the name of Lincoln. I)r. Holmes His One Joke—but a Good One. Robertus Love, secretary-treas- of the American Press Hu- onc spontaneous Heaven Via California. It is noted that many of the ini-" migrants who are now seeking homes in the wdst travel in Pullman cars. That is « sign of American | progress. From the Atlantic to ; Ohio the travel was in Didn’t Need Help. wise smile, hut at this announce ment he began to fight. Tho rea son was discovered oy the police, Only Book Congreeaman Curtis 8aved. Congressman Curtis hod 1,100 books In the library of his North m z —r — „ * * . „ j_ ! "ii me i^uru tuieuucu \0 Topeka home. Every book was de- cur , „ he gaj(d .. h , Tou j’ d hlve curl . stroyed by the floods save one, which u for „ Whereupon tu. happened to be in an npiUir. bed- l.dy replied saucily: room; mid, curiously enough, this ^ ^ ^ l was a baby, but n^. w, oVtre pj A^m^ki^; ! —I « City JourtaL ••If” Dodge 'Em. “My *on,” said the savage bache lor, “beware of the pretty girl at • summer hotel who is always late for her meals, who keeps every one waiting on all excursions and ha* no idea of time. It i* this kind of which the wive* are made who drive men to drink.”—Exchange. life, according to his own inodeat confession. An Editor's Hint. i One time years and years ngo-he “When you report yourself as be- 1 was on u train passing through Bal ing on the sick list as late in the j timore. Some one in the ear look- veck as Thursday or Friday, you ed out at" the scattered house* that •hould, in justice to the editor, re- lay on dither side tho railroad truck main sick ut least until the paper* and asked: are in the post office. It is terribly “Is this the outskirts of Balti- embarrassing to say that Mr. or Mrs. more ?” Geewhilikens is dangerously sick as [ Just then tho train whisked into we go to press and then while lug- j a {unncl like a rabbit into its bur- ging the papers to the post office 1 row, and Mr. Love shouted out glee- meet the said party on the street | fulljin thedarknns: looking, quite cheerful.—Millington “No; it’* the undereidrt*.”—-Bal- (Mich.) Gazette. 1 timore American. morists, never sprung orally more Ohio the travel was in wagons; joke in his from Ohio to Kansas it was in im migrant ears; from Kansas to thi* point they come in I’ullmans. When the time comes tot migration from California the people will tak* wings and go to heaven.-—San Fran cisco Call. Msrktd Down. Mr*. Stiggins—Well, you are th* greatest dunderhead I ever did see wt. The idea of buying an excel sior mattress for goose feathers 1 Mr. Stiggins—It isn’t my fault, id it, that the dealer ia a cheat? Tho bad waa marked down, yon know.— Boston Transcript.