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CONDENSED STORIES. Jeaquln HIIttrH Story of Uto Cslonofs Inherited TWo. Joaquin Miller iru one of the Bnt investors in Texas oil weils. Passing the question of financial profit, these wells furnished him with at least one good story. The poet visited the Lone Star State to Inspect his property and there met k a mu n who answered to the title of B “colonel" One day when this man and the poet were together the talk turned to the war of secession. Mil ler thought his companion had taken part in that struggle, hut the colonel said he had beerf a no::, om- bstant. Then Miller made » !oM guess that tho title was derived fcw t a militia commission. But uot lo, nor was it a result of r.n appoint ment on the governor's sto.f. .Wi ther did it come from service dur ing the Spanish-Amcrican tro ible. "Ah,” said Miller at last, i.link ing he had tho mystery solved, "you commanded the Texas rangers at one time. They were brave men, and it was an honor to lead them.” “Xo," said the colonel, “I never had anything to do with the rangers." “Well, tell mo,” persisted Miller, “is the title merely assumed? Have you no right to it?” “Ceftainly I have a right to it— the best kind of right,” replied the colonel in an offended tone. “If you must know how I got it I’ll tell you. I inherited it” “Inherited it I" ejaculated Miller. “From whom, your father?” “No, eir. From Colonel James 8mith, who died two years ago. I married his widow.” — New York Times. Bogus Bohemlanlsm. The real bohemian docs not wish to be put on show for the delecta tion of persons who do not under- itand him. There is a-story told of Msurico Barrymore which illus trates this point. Entering a famous bohemian club in New York one night, ha found a lot of commercial ly got himself “fairly of them slapped him on the back and said, “Bury, speak us apiece.” Then a chorus said: “Yes, get fun ny, old man. Cut up. We’ve all heard that you were a great enter- toiner." Barry glared around for a moment and then said, “I’ll do a picked his hat off the hook. That was the last time he entered the club. The Taciturn Man. Mn. Van Vorst, the author of “Tho Woman Who Toils,” had many amusing and odd adventures during her life as a worker. One adventure that has not heretofore been printed concerned a taciturn man. She met this man on a New Eng land road mending a worm fence. “Can you tell me," ahe said to him, "how fu it is from hero to tho next'town?” He pointed forward. "Milestone little further on will tell you,” ha growled. Rudeness such as this vexed Mrs. Van Vorst. “But the milestone wiU be no good to me, for I can’t read,” ahe said. Thereupon the taciturn man chuckled a little. “Ho, ho,” ho said. “It if just tho kind of mile stone for people that can’t read, for all the writin’a been washed off of it” Didn’t NmO Help. The late Rev. George Koenig, a Brooklyn clergyman, who wai rath- er puritanical in hii viewt, rebuked one of hie parishioners whom he saw with her hair profusely curled. “If the Lord intended your hair to eurL” bo said, “ha would have curl- ‘ for you." Whereupon the whan I was a baby, kut now I am quit# able to ouri it my- isSr ■ mm South Georgia m m NOV. 1,2, 3,4 and 5, WAYCROSS n T considerable expense the Waycross Fair Association has arranged to make the approaching fair from Nov. ist to 5th inclusive, the best ever held here. The agri- cultural exhibits from Ware and surrounding counties wlll be such as not only to interest and stimulate our own peo ple, but to attract visitors from abroad to locate in this section. And then in order to make it an occasion of pleasure and enjoy ment to all who come, a splendid Midway, made up of the best shows and highly amusing attractions has been secured, includ ing the following: The Famous Millie-Christine Com pany from the Tryolean Alpine Vil lage at the World’s Fair-, Also a troupe of Tryolean singers from tho ilps in Switzerland. The Allen Amusement Company, a high class aggregation of carnival shows. - Miniature Railroad, with special engine and coach for children. I Lunette, the flying lady, the great est wonder of the world, with Edi- ) * hm^’ 8 l atest production of the most !* "“ rilling train robbery in the west. ' Collossal Merry-Go-1 o£n,d Shows. Fat Girl Show, wei^ j*£l5 Lbs. And numerous other attractions. Also harness and running 1 races each day,' on the finest track south of Macon. Besides all this, every effort will bj made to make the departments of Live Stock, Manufacturers and Merchants’ Display, Machinery and Farm Implements, Education, Fine Arte, Woman’s Work, Dairy atid Apiary and Poultry, the best ever afforded. Notwithstanding the time for tho South Georgia Fair here this fall has been long fixed and Savannah put upon notice and importuned not to conflict, as heretofore, yet disregarding our wishes and interests, they again persist in having their carnival at the samo' time In view of this, the people, not only of Waycross, but all South Georgia, should ignore them and rally to the support of our home enterprise, thus saving it from damage and loss, in spite of Savannah, and help make it a great success. The railroads all give a one fare rate, plus 25 cents, and the entrance fee to the fair is only 35 cents for adults and 15 cents for children between the ages of 8 and 12 years. Let Everybody come and see a Good Fair* Enjoy the amusements and visit the several Industrial Enter prises of Waycross. ' Lee L. SWEAT, J. S. SHARP, J. £. SWEAT, Secretaryt General Supt. President. WAYCROSS HERALD PRINT. fe.- FOR THE LITTLE ONES. A Inn LMUa At, Whs.Saved Hit Brother Prom a Cougar. Four children of Mr. Rodenbtrg, whose home is at Big Skookum, go to school at a publio school bouse a long way off. One Wednesday during the last of June these chil dren, being on the road homeward, wort straggling along ai some dis tance from one another, when a cougar sprang out. of an ambush and seized the little boy who brought np the rear. This little fellow was tho youngest of the party, being only six years old, and least likely to resist the beast, as that watchful crcaturo seems to have known when it saw the school children going by tinglo file. The cougar serin] the lad by the head and sat upmi him, snarling at tho older boy of the party, an eight- ycar-old youngster, who camo to save his brother. Tho brave boy had in his right hand a milk bottle of heavy glass. lie took hold of one of the cougar’s cars and with the bottlo began to beat the snarl ing beast over tho head. At the third or fourth blow the bottle broke and a hundred fragment! of glass were scattered about. It is possible that some of the fragments entered the cougar’s blazing eyes, for as soon as the bottle broke he let go his hold onc^ron off, plunging into the bushes, from which he did not again emerge. Meanwhile the unhurt children took the wounded boy into a neigh boring farmhouse. The wounds were all flesh wounds and when they had been dressed the littlo fellow grew quite animated in his account of tho adventure.—Seattle Post-In- telligencer. 8hsrlng tho Birthdays. In Jopan they have a very simple method of dealing with birthday celebrations, the people waiving all I claim to their individual natal day. 1 There aro two general birthdays one for each sex. Tho male birth day, which is known os “the cele bration of tho boys,” occurs on the third day of tho third month and tho “celebration of tho girls” on the fifth day of tbo fifth month. These days aro general holidays foT the S oung. The birthday of tbo mika- o, or ten-o, as he is more properly termed, is also a general holiday throughout tho country, tho houses being decorated with flags and in numerable colored lanterns. Conundrums. What country is like a happy dog? America (n-merry-cur). Which is tho biggest, Mr. Digger’s baby or Mr. Bigger? Mr. Bigger*! baby is a little Bigger. When is u farmer cruel to his corn ? When he pulls its ears. If a good boy wears his pants out what will be do? Wear them in again. An Accurate Division. Charlio was given seven choco lates to be divided between himself and hia sister Graco. He commenced •ating one, and when be was asked why ho didn’t divide with Grace ha "Because I have to cat one be fore they will divide oven.”—Little Chronicle. ' •ilu.., . 11 Pnt some perfoCv re „ . , ^1* - ter into a tumbler, a glass tube, breathe into it ’ if r vo ter will become as white ss milk. After it haa remained undisturbed for awhile a deposit of white pon der will bt found at the bottom of the gloss. 1 Master Mutiny. Juat at* year* today X hava Uvad In tha world With my hair Ilka a Ctrl'* all twtatad and curled. And tha boya on tha a treat, whan I paaa than, all cry* Wall* I’ra taken tboee hateful old curia off today. And now when they matt me we’ll aaa what they aayl -X. a Kobbe ta 9t Nicholas*