Weekly edition of the Waycross evening herald. (Waycross, Ga.) 190?-1908, November 19, 1904, Image 4

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CONDENSED STORIES. Whan She Got the Cr.it Thit Wn “So FuII of Significance." Here’s a good itory told about Lady Colebrooke, that prominent Englishwoman who riaited the Whitneya laat winter. Lady Cole brooke is of the pell known Paget family. Lord Colebrooke’s ances tors are equally aristocratic, and the Colebrooke crest is a rampant lion, three doves over the head and a wolf coucbant above all. It is an slaborate affair. When Lady Cole brooke was dining out with one of the opulent hostesses of Long Island she glanced casually at the dinner service, every bit of which was duly embossed with a crest. She was ac customed to heraldic china and did not at onco inspect the design mi nutely. Later in the evening, to her great surprise, she became aware that the Colebrooke crest was upon all of ligr hostess’ dinner service. "Where did you get this crest ?’’ she* exclaimed impulsively. The hostess replied unconcernedly: “Isn’t it a pretty one? I picked it out when wo furnished this house. It woe the prettiest I could find, and those dear little doves, I think, are so full of significance.” Lady Colebrooke mur mured sadly, “So full of signifi cance.”—New York Press. Mascagni's 8arcasm. During the last dress rehearsal at tho Metropolitan Opera House of Mascagni’s Jnjinneso opera, “Iris,” which was produced last autumn for the first time in America, Mascagni, who was conducting the orchestra, was greatly annoyed by the lucttcv tive performance of one of the sing er* in a particular scene. The pas sage was a very intense one—a love aceno between tho chief reprobate and tho heroine. “Do not move so timidly I Stand farther to tho right 1 Play with more vigor! Morocolorl More va riety 1” shouted the composer above the surgo of the music. The unfortunato actor, thorough ly discomfited, went from bad to worse in his impersonation and now was singing almost continually out of tunc. Tho esnsperated composer could stand it no longer. lie stop ped the orchestra and beckoned the singer down to the footlights. “Since all other methods for mak ing the passage effective seetn to San Francisco is still repeating and laughing over the bonmots Bishop Potter let drop on the oc casion of his visit to that city two years ago to attend the Episcopal cowvention. At that time tha citizens were vary much astir because the famous eastern bishop was to be a visitor within their gates, and they vied with one another to honor their guest. The bishop was kept busy declining the invitations that he had not time to accept. But ona invita tion thrf' he did avail himself of was to occupy tha magnificent resi dence of William Crocker, one of the millionaire families of which Mrs. Francis Burton Harrison and Mrs. Alexander are eastern representa tives. The houso is a showy one, situat ed upon Nob hill, where the early California millionaires built their homes, so it is a "show place." It came to have a double interest when it was occupied by the bishop. One,’ day a San Franciscan was sltowini the group of residences to a friem who was visiting in the city. As they approached the “Will Crocker" home ne spang the treasured which he had been saving ..for’ the right moment. “This,” said he, with a flourish, “ia Mr. Crocker’s Pottery.” Ho did not recognize the gentle man who was at that moment de scending tho steps. It was the bish op, who could not lelp overhearing and who had a twinkle in his eye. “I bog pardon for correcting yew,” ho said, ‘out you are mistaken. This is Iiishop Potter’s Crockery.”— Washington Star. Time to Loam. One of the latest stories of the strange reasoning of negroes comes from J. II. Stoddart, tho veteran actor, and is of an incident he wit nessed in Louisiana on a tour through that part of the couni “I nad an afternoon lay off in this Louisiana town,” said- the ac tor, “and with nothing to do roam ed about the place. Fnially I got to tho courthouse and went in. A negro trial was on, and a typical old darky was one of the witnesses. He was fixing tho time of the occur rence of the troublo and said it was half past 3 in the afternoon. “ ‘How do you know it was half put 3?’ demanded the lawyer for the other side. “ ‘Why, I—I knowed it wu half put 3 by mv watch. I knowed it,’ stammered the darky. “‘Can VOU tell time?’ demanded the lawyer. “ ‘Sure, I can tell time,’ answered the witness. “‘What time is it now? demand ed the lawyer, pointing to the clock. “The darky studied the clock for a minute; then ho said lie did not know what timo it was. "‘But I thought you could tell time,’ raid the lawyer, with anger. “‘Welf, I can tell lime, boss, by my watch,’ said the darky, ‘but I writ tell no time by no clock.’ ” What tha Child Wiihid Par Aftsr Hear ing Papa’s Sermon. Hand in hand they wandered among the posies of a New England garden, a father and hia little girl, snd the Sabbath peace wu over all. The father was a clergyman of the old school, and that morning he had preached to the quiet country folk of the wrath of God, and the tortures of hell, and the fearful punishment and retribution which a just and angry Ood sends upon the children of men. The little child had listened thoughtfully as he preached long and earnestly of the wrath of God and tha tormeuta of the damned. The clergyman returned to his home and walked with his little among the flowers in his garden. Hi loved her very dearly, and he pluck ed the sweetest flowers and gave them to her and kissed her and led her footsteps with the gentleness and tenderness of fatherhood. . What a Quaker City Girl Knew About Punctuation. A Philadelphia schoolgirl said to her father the other night: “Itaddy, I’ve got a sentence I’d like to have you punctuate. You know something ubout punctuation, don’t you ?”. “Yes. a little,’’ said her cautious parent as he took the slip of paper she handed him. This is what he read: “A five dollar bill flew around the corner.”- He studied it carefully and finally raid: “Weli, I'd simply put a period after it, like this.” “I wouldn’t,” said the I girl. “I'd make a dash a Public- Is-dger. AigelablePreparaiionfor As similating UieFoodondBegula- Ung the Stomachs and Bowels of — iker”i » J°k»« A* tha rICASTORIA For Infanta and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Ons Thing Clark Forgot A call for a minister was about to be issued in Champ Clark’s home town in Missouri, says the Washing ton correspondent of the New York World. It was made, and when the . minister arrived the church commit- have failed,*’ he remarked sarcas- tee found the minister and llcpre- ticallv in his most scrupulous Ital- j scutativc Clark wero old school- ian, “suppose you try singing it on 1 mates. They went to him and ask- tlio key?"—Harper's Weekly. | cd him about the new minister. | “He’s n good man,” said' Mr. Plenty In it I Clark. “He will infuse new life The discussion of bribery lias into the church and is one of the served to recall the reply which j most sociable fellows I over met. In Use For Over Thirty Years CASTORIA CENTAUM AOMPANV. I He—Are you good at conun drums? She—Yes. He—Well, here is one: “If I were to prop&e to you, what would you •ay?” Powsr of Expression Gone. _ “Was your French chauffeur se riously hurt in that automobile ac cident?” “Yea; he wts knocked practically speechless." “Speechless? How?’ ^ “Shoulder dislocated; can’t Hot Purgatory. “But aurely,” protested the lately departed Boston girl, “yon are not going to take me to the—er—in fernal regions." “Only for a few seconda,” replied the attendant apirit. “We must thaw you out a little.”—Town Topics. The Foxy Daughter. Ethel—Do you spend all of your allowance ? Grace—No; I always save a little. The thrift of it pleases father so much that he always gives me some thing extra at tho end of the month! Detroit Freo Press. George T. Anthony once made to politician who was disposed to “graft.” Mr. Anthony was about to relinquish an office and was ap proached by the man who was to succeed him, who wanted to know how much the office was worth. Mr. Anthony replied that it paid $3,000 a year. “I know that is tho salary,” insist ed the inquirer, “but what else is there in it V”, “Well,” said Anthony, looking his interrogator directly in the eve, "there’s $3,000 a year and-tho peu- He is eloquent, tells a good story of the right kind and will be quite an addition to our town.” The committee started to leave, feeling very good over having made such an excellent selection, when Clark called them back, saying: “Oh, 1 forgot to tell you that Dr. Blank is fierce when ho gets drunk. There’s no handling him when he drinks.” A Humorous Sheriff. Jack Steel used to be sheriff down “tin;re's $3,000 a rear and-tho pen- | n . Representative Dougherty’s dis- itemiurv in it for am- man Uo ‘riot m Missouri, and Mr. Doughcr- wants to work it for nil it is worth.” ,hls lum: _____ “Ihe count}* judge was a man weighing .TOO pounds. Steel, who Two Kind. ‘" Dancer*. Wep t the.local hotel, summoned « The Ret. Reginald Campbell qt , for , , and not one of the thofxmdon City temple during hiti; woi hed ^ than 250 pounds, visit to America said a number of t)n the CrSt case called Steel fed the amusing things. One or them con- jurvmen , dinncr con9isting o( p i cn . cerntHl dancing A voung girl asked 1 of onioc , butt enailk and other Dr. Campbell if he d.d not considet ' rific foo ^_ with the rc8U l t that dancing graceful. in the afternoon all of them and the “Professions 1 dancing,” he re- judgc went to ,) wp . plied, “is, 1 admit, graceful enough ; .. -Sheriff.’ said the judge on awak in some cases But what is there o , nin „ < thia tout j, 'here for busj- grace in the dancing of amateurs 1 - neM * In fatu „ j vut yoa to sc A man and a woman, cloae Together, lect , j u „ ^th a single eya to jus- spin solemnly about a room. The man’* long black coat tails flap. Bach persona always look to mo *» if they had been hired to dance an? were doubtful if they would go paid.” * tice.’ •Yes, your honor,’ eniwered Steel. “Ihe next penel summoned con- i listed entirely of one eyed men.” No ImprovomonL “It’s impossible for me to think end operate the typewriter at the same time,” said the humorist. “Huh!” exclaimed the editor. “Then .you are uo better off than when you used a pen.” — Denver News. Noval Engagement. Ho—I see another naval engage ment ia reported. She—More lighting? Ho—I suppose so. The captain ia engaged to the. rear admiral’s daughter.—Yonkers Statesman. Truly Heroic. “Ho had a play produced by an amnteur company the other night, I believe. Who was the hero of it, do you know ?” “I was one. I sat through it.”— Philadelphia Ledger. Intotlig.neo. Once upon a time a dog cams upon a man eating what lie liked, regardless. “His intelligence is almost ca nine!” exclaimed the dog, growling. —Puck. Lot Him Down Easy. Father — Can George support you? Daughter — He’ll try it Yon might put our allowance on a dimin ishing scale.—Cleveland Leader. Easy Mothed. Young Author—When I write- far into the night I find great dif ficulty in getting to sleep. Friend—Why don’t yon read over what you hart written?—Princeton TSgar. Site—I see by the papers that a woman has got successfully through the bankruptcy court. He—Great Scolt! The women are crowding the men out of every profitable business nowadays. Tho Cheerful Giver. “Ya-aa, bre’ren,” said Brier Jas per as he closed the book, “do Lawd Iub de cheerful giver. Las’ Sun’y Brier Jenkins dun gib 50 cents to pay fo’ whitewoshin’ de pastoris fence, an’ de Lawd lub him so ha dun took him home to glory today.” —New Ynvlr Tim— A New Ailment. Dickey—Ma, what do they call that old preacher “doctor” for? Mother—Why, my son,-he ia a doctor of divinity. Dickey—Well, I’d like, to-know what kind of a disease that is.—Lip- pincott’s. j Taking an Interest “You think that every young man ought to tako an interest in poli tics?” “Certainly,” answered Senator Sorghum, “if he'can buy it cheap enough.”—Washington Star. Hit Peculiar Dutloa. “Yes, he’s the reviser of plays for the syndicate.” “What does he do?’ “Cuts out all the dialogue and puts in girls and electric lights.”— Cleveland Plain Dealer. World’s Fair Rates Via L. & N. R. R. Excursion tickets. r now on sale Daily from Waycross to St. Louis and Return .$37,60 Return limit December 15. Sl.tO' Return limit 60 days. 25.60 Return limit 15 days.* Return limit Ten Days from date of Sale. Tickets Sold Tuesdays in July- Corresponding low Ratre from other pc Inti. The L. & N. R. R. i,the Best Line to ft outs.* For t ohednles end sleeping ese reservstions apply to J. M. FLEMING, Florida Passenger Agent, 206 West Bay Street, All His Own. She—I don’t like you to talk that way about my mother. lie—I’m talking about my moth er-in-law, not yours. I guess I can talk ns I please about my own.— Philadelphia Press. ' Dodging the Question. “Is trade pretty good ?’ we asked tho greqt merchant. “Well,” ho replied—a bit evasive ly, wo thought—“the store is crowd ed every day with lady shoppers.”— Syracuse Herald. lie, Ky. Jacksonville, Fla Knows Its Value. Gildcck—What I told Hobbs is a close political secret. He won’t givt it away. Swifter—Not lie; he’ll sell it to the opposition.—Yonkers States man. > Wall From Wall Street. ' Bullcm—Well, old man, what did yon realize from your last invest ment’ Lambly—That I was a chump, as usual.—Cincinnati Enquirer. Tho Barefoot Summer Boy*. Now the weary millionaire Seeks e rural ranch. Knvyln 1 the barefoot hoys . Wadin' In tho bronchi A barefoot summer boyl To oao sweet, restful dayl ONE FULL QUART OF ■ WHISKEY FREE Lem wouldn't sdulienaltsIf iltsjr lumwflH. HUM) Moart whisks? sellers am noted for miring, bJHWH twisting. W«■bUmocvcbihUmoldwhbtoudMiwatertSfi 5 •or grandfather*. BrrtuMwliKtyhioMUIMf loM.O> and tM pBOplsB* Rational Bank and Uw Piedmont K*Yin?* Hank ot this city will tell yon oar word 1 snood. To Introdnoo this old, •orsw and A drinking glass-all for M.M. If *5.90 is sent ws will doable Um shore and pot in free Om Fall Quart Extra. Wo h»ro Bom* of this whisker only 1 year* old. And will Brad flro- gallonkeg for trior will fur»l*h twenty fun qtjsrt bottles on re ceipt of 111 and giro freo corkscrews, drinking glasses and sam ples, making this whtak*y coat leas than «.» per Ballon delivered. Wo ship la plain boxes with no marks to Indicate contents, and I EDITOR'S NOTE]-B4fora permitting tha shore whisker sdTsrtlramant gate-1ths firm through their Hanker*. Ws cheerfully estlorw tliem, s un n««4 But haaiUU to order sample lot. nhiakiM fur lui J.«*l * Whore Are You Going* ♦ My pretty maid? I’m goiog to Tybee, Sir she i r said. And that’s the place where the people are i (■ going this year to have a good time, HOTEL TYBEE . With its many attractions, its fine orchestra, its ' splendid*bathing and its excellent cuisine is the most popular seaside resort on the South At- lanticjCoast. Rates, $*.50 per Lty: fia^. ?o and ^15 00 per week. \ [ THE^PULASKI HOUSE Is til, most popular place Id Savannah and ihouldjie yonrjheadquae. I f ten whin In the city. WRITES FOR ILLUSTRA ED BOOKLET. CHAS; F. GRAHAM, Prop. J Job PrtntlpgJrtS5,"rs - EVENING HERALD Low prees. First-class work.