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CONDENSED STORIES.
Frederick the Great's Encounter With
a Young Officer.
Mention of Bismarck recalls a
•tory he used to tell of an incident
which his grandfather witnessed
when serving under Frederick the
Great. It afTords good reading in
APPLES FOR BREAKFAST. |
The true, not the new, should be the
motto of those who write or speak
about the apple, the fruit longest In
use by our branch of the human race.
There are certain simple principles'
that must be given. Hue upon line, pro-
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
Why th. Gneering R.mark. Did No
i Both.r th. Cl.rgym.n.
A clergyman who was traveling
•topped at a hotel much frequented
by wage anil jokers.
The host, not being used to hav-
tbe in ti a t • a ° i <*Pt u|wa precept, to every fresh sener-
the present-time in view of mistakes atlou of men or rather ihoold ^ gi r , n
and rumors of mistakes, degrade- ‘ Just about thnt time that the genera
tions and equivocal promotions, of tlon Is tvglnnlug to lose Its freshness
which tales come through from St. *° cuU on th. doctor for remedies
Petersburg. During some maneu- ■ E J';’ ry we !!„ t0 d ° “““ ° f s«xl<llge.tian
"... . s ” , , ami appetite tend! to eat too much
J. ers •*} ensign made a mistake, and meat every day after bis twenty-drib
the old king, in a naming passion, birthday, aud one of the value, of
pursued him with a stick, intending fruit, the apple above others, Is the
to publicly chastise him. The en- ease with which It may tie made an
sign lit out for all he waa worth and | “antlmont for breakfast" article. With
nimbly leaped a ditch which the b *k« 1 «PP*« “»G cream and good
king could not negotiate, but waa
left fuming on the wrong side. Later , . . .....
to e the'k ?e ! tha 1 ! 1 th Cgim - nt ibSuh’™- Meuef for:,."lb"'
to the king thnt the ensign had ten- | ererv „ f „.., ,, „
dered his resignation. “I am sorry, have iu-.iiiir.il ibe rich: u> si
sire, for he is a really fine soldier,” | adrl.-e. at least to himaclf.
said the colonel. “Send him to me,” j tb.-lr various wonderful dia.-'
replied Frederick. The ensign came remarkable self cures Just i--
in, expecting to be beaten or per- I • ,v ' n “P 11,1 imp*. end In gen
haps sent to prison. “Here, sir, is ! roduw fheinselve. to this: -I ste less
* ■ • • t. . • .. - - * moot lull I .11.1 unS b Hunt ||||ll | took
especially np-
LEARNED SOMETHINCL
“Have you any—aw—idea,” in
quired the tourist with the steamet
cap, side whiskers, cheek suit and
guttural voice, “what the circula
tion of the Daily Bread is?”
“Xo,” said the native, “but it’s
way up in the tens of thousands and | ing a clergyman at hia table, looked
probably rno.-e.” at him with surprise. The guests
“Thanks. Will you—aw—please used all their raillery of wit upon
tell me what a ‘cheap skate’ is ? The him without eliciting a remark,
term is new to me, don’t you know." | The clergyman cte hia dinner
“A cheap skate may he a tight quietly, apparently without obeerv-
wad or a geezer that’s merely on his mg the gibes and sneer* of his
uppers, but in cither case lie’s a— neighbors',
well, he’s o cheep skate.”
“1 am not sure I quite compre
hend you, hut he is an ubjectionablf
person, is he not?”
“Sure."
“That was my inference. A lad
accosted menu the street a few min
utes ago and awsked me to buy a
copy of tlie Daily Bread. ‘Xo, my
bov,‘ i said. 'I d ut’t wish it.’ ‘Aw,’
he said, •tmi’n- . l?
your captaincy,” said the king. “I mMt bu ‘ 1 ,•*“ «• “ u t a
Jneeni L eie. is *w. L:— • 8™”* deal more fruit, eapecla
plea. 1
meant to give it you this morning,
but you ran so hard I could no
catch you,”—St. James* Gazette. ,
.He Had the Craekere.
“In my younger days,” remarked
a New Yc
cently, “I was directing the~ desti
nies of a small troupe of trained
amateurs through tne west, and
Baked apples for breakfast tend to
reduce the amount of meat eaten If we
are inclined to eat too much and to
supply the system with mineral foods
, _ _ _ . and. the digestive tract with acids,
ork theatrical manager re- People wnu eat too much food are not
* ** *’ “ ' to bo advlaed to eat baked applet as a
mere addition to the breakfast* and
those who need a substantial meal
must not let the baked apple Interfere
with the taking of solid food. At a
rule, thoso who eat three meals per
diem will wisely have the nicest dish
of bnked apples obtainable for break-
>• Y ,8 0 p,Pce of B,m P ,e w,8dom
^ T )/> ul/Sfli, worth pages of ordinary medical lltera-
ture. The digestion of milk la some
what delayed by sour fruits, but pure,
rich cream is not milk, and taken with
a Juicy baked applo what dish can be
more tempting and wholesome?
If you nr© twenty-eight or tbirty-flve,
Inclined to ring the doctor's bell and
talk with yobr druggist, try this pre
scription. You may put sugar on the
apples, but we shall not sugar coat the
remedy with any mystery or any claim
to novelty. We merely turn to your
good wife or your housekeeper and aak
whether she la careful to give you nice
roast apples and cream and to make
the breakfast meat dlshea as little
tempting as may be.—American Gar
den.
Disraeli and Gladatoae.
A abort timo before his death Dis
raeli sat for his portrait to Millais. In
his studio hung a proof sngravlng of
Gladstone, with his hands hanging
down before him lightly clasped and
an almost beatific expression on bis
face. MUlala observed that Disraeli’s
eyes were frequently bent upon the
portrait At length he asked him If he
would accept a copy. "I waa rather
shy of offering It to yon," be apologet
ically added. "I should be Relighted
to have It” said Disraeli, with what
for him was an almost eager manner.
"People think that more or less through
our political Uvea I have disliked Mr.
Gladstone, to tell the truth, my only
difficulty In respect to him has been
that studying bliu from day to day and
year to year I could never understand
Illustrated Phrase.
"BURK THINO," 8AID T&B BTOBXXZXFUL
when I say west I do not mean Ohio,
r&ean I was so far west that Den
ver >was regarded as an effete east
ern city.
“The stores out thero are more
versatile than any comedian who
ever played Hamlet at a matinee,
Uncle Tom at night and 'doubled in,
brass* in’an intervening parade. You
» could not feaze the proprie-
a store by asking for unex-
implemeni
4 si
nts,
toilet articli
these were the stock in trade of the
merchants. .
“In one little Arizona town I was
in the leading store when a solemn
man entered and said, ‘Have you got
tny crackers?’
“The pu'orietor of the store an
swered:‘S 3 thing! What kind do
you want—whip, fire or soup ?* ”
tlad. Him Low Spirit.,.
Near to where we live in Scotland
there la a farmer wbo haa bad conald-
erable experience In wives. IIo baa
married and burled four. After tbe
dentil of tho last wlfo a friend of oura
walked over one Sunday afternoon to
aco and condole wltb tbe poor man,
wbo, report said, bad been an exceed
ingly kind and Indulgent busband to
all Ida wives. He found tbe farmer
wnlklng listlessly about bis deserted
garden, and. aympatby having un
chained bis tongue, bo exclaimed:
"Aye, aye! What wltb bringing tbe
wives home and plttcm them nwa I
am snlr hndilen doon” (low spirited).—
no of them at last, in despair
of his forbearance, said to him:
“Well, I wonder at your patience!
Have you not heard all that has
been said fo you ?”
“Oh, yes; but I am uaed to it. Do
you know who I am ?”
“Xo, air.”
“Well, I will inform you. I am
chaplain of'a lunatic aaylum. Such
up skate.’ So remarks have no effect upon me.”—
lontempi uoui. '- is !.:s tone that 1 Short Stories,
felt compelled ’o buy ilia paper,
though I hud no use for it."—Chica
go Tribune.
Facts About Colombia.
Colombia, not counting Panama,
la as large as California and Texas
combined and has over ten timei the
population of Panama. An esti
mate made in 1881 puts the figures
at 3,GOO,000, exclusive of the people
of Panuina. Bogota, its capital, has
been called “the Athens of South
America.” Its population is 125,-
000. The national university is lo
cated there, and the city has an ex
cellent library of 50,000 volumes, a
picture gallery, an observatory and
a number of learned institutions.
Twelve days are required to get
from the coast to the capital. One
lands at Barranquilla, at the mouth
of the Magdalena river, goes up the
river by steamer to Honda, 592Yt
miles from tho coast; then by rail
for twenty-two miles to La Dorado,
by mule journey for forty # -five miles
Facatativa, and from there by
rail again to Bogota, twenty-four
miles.—Harper’s Weekly.
The Two Poets.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox and James
.Whitcomb Riley met recently at a
hotel in New York city. .
“I never will forget what you
■aid about me, Mr. Riley,” said the
poetess of passion, “when I first at
tempted to writo poetry."
“Nothing unpleasant, I hope,”
exclaimed the Iloosicr poet.
“You |aid,” continued the poet
ess, “that I was too homely ever to
write poetry.”
“Did I ever say that?”
“Yes, you did, or at least it was
published as coming from you. It
mndo a deep impression on me.
About that time I was making a rag
doll for a little niece of-, mine, ana
I not only made it, but I painted its
face. And I made that face just as
ujflr aa I knew how and called the
doll James Whitcomb Riley.”
A Subtle Reproef.
Mias Helen I-acknye, sister of the
actor, Wilton Lackaye, has the fam
ily gift of repartee fully developed.
Recently a young society man who
prides himself on his popularity
with female acquaintances begged
from her s few of tho violets ibe
No Tims to Wests oh Fools.
When George Westinghouso as a tonilon Gentlewomen,
young inventor was trying to inter
est capitalists in his automatic
brake, he wrote a lotter to Commo
dore Cornelius Vanderbilt, carefully |
A tVrnna Idea.
A certain officious person once blus
tered Into tbo oftlee of W. J. Bender*
... , .... .... - . son. tbe music crllle, and began to tell
explaining the details of the tnven- m w bat was tbe matter wltb Jean
tion. Very promptly his letter came ao iu.«ke’s Interpretation of Wi
back to him indofsed in big, scrawl- j ner’s "Tristan.'
ing letters in the hand of Coramo- "In tho first place," said tbe caller, in
dore Vanderbilt, “I have no tinfe to confident tones, "he’s got tbo wrong
waste on fools.”
Afterward, when the Pennsylva*
nia railroad had taken up the auto
matic brake .and it was proving very
auccessful, Commodore Vanderbilt
lent young Sir. Westinghouso a re
quest to call on him. The inventor
Wblitltns Women.
a peculiar fact," remarked the
returned the letter, indorsed on the ! observing youth, "that only one wo-
Idea.'
Mr. Henderson looked at him n mo
ment. "Well," he remarked, "ho got
bis Idea from Wagner. Where did you
get yours?"
bottom as follows: “I have no time I man In a thousand can whistle.
to waste on fools.”—Success.
"Nothing peculiar about that," re-
|' Joined the man with the absent hair.
: "As long as a woman can talk she
doesn't care to whistle."—Illustrated
wore at her corsage. He placed the
flowers inside the case of his watch,
vowing that as long as he lived they
should repose there. A few day*
later the two met again, and Mis,
Lackaye asked about the flowers.
The young man was visibly embar-, , , „
rassod, but explained that he had! “Hugntcr plays very well,
opened the watch while in the Btrcet! and lias quito a tale:
and thnt a gust of wind had blown
away the violets. “And you kept
the watch,after thnt?” said Miss
Lackaye, with sweet incredulity.
Congressman Hepburn's Goat.
Congressman Hepburn of Iowa is
nearly always unlucky in drawing
* “Dropping into verso.”
Hor Memory.
Qayley—You haven’t had occa
sion to accuse me of playing poker
for two years now.
Mrs. Cayley — Three years, my
dear.
Cayley—How do you know it’»
three years? i
Mrs. Cayley—Bccauso Ft, worn
this dress that long, and I got it the
last time I caught you.—-Philadel-
phia Press.
Fore* of Habit.
“Your church organist ii fin,,
bnt the effect of his execution li
marred somewhat by the words h*
mumbles to himself during th, mu
sic. Why don’t ho quit itr*
“He can’t, old man. He was a
passenger brokeman in hia youth
and haraever quito recovered from
the habit of calling out the itopet”
—New Orleans Times-Democrat.
A Praetloal Girl.
He—I know my income Is imall,
but don’t you think we could get
along?
She—I’m afraid not.
He—You told me that you want
To a cooking school.
She—Yes, but they did not teach
mo how to make wind pudding.—!
Now York Weekly.
Matter of Rolatloeahlp.
Iler—I can only 1 be s sister to
you.
Him—Oh, that won’t do. You’ll
have to be a daughter to me otnoth-
ing.
Her—Bccauso why?
Him—Because I’vo been a “pop
per” to you.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Rare Talent.
Social Settlement Visitor—Your I
Mrs.
talent for
music.
Mrs. Smith — Sure, she inherits
that. Her grandfather was killed
with a blow of n cornet at t picnic.
—Lippincott’s Magazine.
Unlucky.
Publisher—Your book is fino up
a scat, but of late years ho haa been : J? seventeenth chapter. After
... ... i that it ia morn flrirnl
How Bacon Settled Him. ^
A story that is told of Leonard j JJjJJ
Bacon, who was one of the best I
known theologians in New England
a quarter of u century ago, illus
trates the absurdity of a popular ! wne. Do you think he haa the making
kind of argument. Dr. Bacon was ! fi V nn ^! er «r* c , , . .
° - -..I “Undoubtedly. Several of them. And
I’d like to be om» of the bunch."—New
York World.
attending a conference in one of the
New England cities, ahd f.omc as
sertions he made in his address were
.vehemently objected to by a member
oi the opposition.
“Why/ 5 he expostulated, “I never .... ~
heard of such a thing in all my ! en, air. I sm a veritable reservoir of
life!”
R««rTf Fore*.
Billyuna— Young man. you acem 'to
lack energy. Mopely—You are mlatak
~ “Mr. Moderator,” rejoined Bacon j Time**
“I cannot allow my op-
:, to
I energy awaiting a crlola.—New York
calmly, „
/ponent’s ignorance, however vast,
offset
.■JE
knowledge,
neper’s Weekly.
Prosperity Is ■ great teicber; adver
sity Is ■ greater. Possession pampers
however j t t, a m |nd; privation trains and strength*
able to retain his old seat, the mem*
her drawing it always exchanging
with him. When lie first entered
the house lie drew about the worst
scat in the lot. As lie sat down
there he was grumbling irwnrdly
over his had luck, when he looked
across the hall and saw tho discon
solate face of the man whom he had
beaten for the nomination and
whom he succeeded in congress.
Then he thought, “I’ll bet tlmt fel
low would be satisfied with 'even
this seat,” and nt once ceased to feel
bad about his luck.
^In Leap Year.
“Something bothering you, Miss
Weaver ?”
“Why, yes, Mr. Ragmore. It’s
only a trifle, of course, but our lives
are made up of trifles, you know.
Mamma and Aunt Miriam have been
E ’ving me such a lot of nic«,lincn
toly, and I was just wondering,
how I would have it marked.”
“Why not with your name?”
“Yes, of course, b-but if I wanted
to change it?”
“But you don’t want to change it,
do you?’’ .
“Oh, Mr. Ragmore, this is so sud
den!”—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
that it is mcro drivel.
Author—Sir, it is my misfortune,
not my fault. Just as I was begin*
ning the seventeenth chapter I dis
covered, quito accidentally, what I
was driving at.—Puck.
Something New.
Young Writer—My heroine has
golden hair, but I don’t like it
Golden hair is eo old. I wish I had
something new.
His Friend—Why not make it ra
dium hair, my boy ?-—Pittsburg I
Post.
He Isn't tho Last.
“I tfibught you said once you
wouldn’t be seen with him if he
were tho last man on earth?”
“Oh, but he has.the swiftest auto
mobile! in town.”—Chicago Record-
ffcrald.
Whsrf Summsr Tims Is Hsre.
When the flies firs In ths butter
Ani) th« milk curds Into cheese.
When you try to chsss ths sksstsrs
That ere Wafted on ths brsess.
When yer sorry that ytr livin'
. And a swelterin' all ths whlls.
When yer clothes are ■tickin' to ysr
And-you reel as ILyVd bile.
Then ysr wish ths darnsd old calsndas
Would flop, bdek half * ysar,
And you stab for winter brstara
When ths summsr ttms la hsra.
—A. J. Pslmsr la Now York Pr—
Baltimore, Md.
C. C. Butler,
. The Original S . •
Mail order Man
Of Jacksonville, Fla.3
WANTS YOU It BUSINESS
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91.00, Metropolitan Club, four full quarts for $4.00. Union County, a first
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four full quarts for $3 2V Ocuuim? Imported Holland Gin. four full quarts
lor 93.75. We puy Express charge* on all the uInjvi-.
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