Weekly edition of the Waycross evening herald. (Waycross, Ga.) 190?-1908, May 27, 1905, Image 2

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Weekly edition of the Waycross evening herald., May 27, 1905, Image 2

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Newspaper Page Text80LM0NS’JUDGEMENT ORIGIN OF PIKE’S PEAK. “It must all bo beautiful old furnf* i L**«nd «f n.r Formutio turo,“ said Jane. “Of course," said I. We bad been walking for at least a mile and a half without quarrelling once, and I felt at peace with all tha World. "Old furniture," Jane observed, “it ' r * v always so beautiful in its deep mellow Coloring." “Yc-s. quite; and it makes the pupil look a deep violet." "And then It has an interest apart from its m«*re appearance," she said. “Quite right, Jane." I assented. “And with your head on one side it looks Just sweet.' 1 "I do not see what difference It makes whether your head Is on one tide or not. But certainly nothing looks so well in a dining room as old oak or Chippendale. Don't you think ao?" "Oh, yea, not a doubt of it—very —quite—” “You evidently were not paying at tention to what I was saying," said Jane, In a volco that lowered the tem perature several degrees. "I asked," tbe went on with dignity, "whether you did not think Chippendale looked welir "Of course, splendid. And—Its Jumping up and down?" "Whatever Is the matter with you?" she demanded. "My dear Jane, I profoundly regret having failed to give to your illumina ting remarks the attention they so eminently deserve. But It's your own fault; you shouldn't have high lights." She gazed at mo with round eyes; her eyebrows had a question In them. "i am happy to assure you, Jane," ■aid I, "that t am still In full posses sion of my mental resources. The high light I was alluding to was your eye. Now your eye at any time re pays the closest study, but with an orange high light in It—well, distract ing is the only word that occurs to TIlia » Ullioua MoUIlKli The quaint Indian legend of tin* f jr motion of I'ikv's |»oaU i» as follows: "At the In-ginning of u!l thing* tin lesser spirits pwsessed the earth am dwelt near the bunks of tin* great They had created a race of wei to lx* their servants, hut tlv.w uiei. were fur aujierlor to the present In bubltauts of the earth und made end less trouble for their creators. There fore the lesser spirits resolved to de stroy mankind und the earth itself, so they caused the great ri It is my belief that Jane was not displeased, though she Immediately re verted to the subject of furniture. "I think I prefer Chippendale," she remarked reflectively. “A great doa! of it ta singularly ugly in design.'' “Stuff and nonsenso," said Jano, to my surprise. I decldod to retaliate. “Any chair that happens to be brown and curly you call Chippendale, Jane,” aald I. continuing In an admon itory tone. “It'a a bad habit, my dear. You muat really try to understand things a little more cloarly." “You did not know those chalra up at Solomons' were Chippendale," amid Jane. {Solomons Is an antique furniture dealer whom we sometimes patronize. “They are not,” said I. "If ever chalra have In every distinct part the algn manual of Shoraton It Is those at Solomons.'" “Sheraton never used tho wheat-ear ornamentation, said Jano. "Everybody knows that. And the lines of all hla furniture wero more severe than in those chalra wo saw.” I was considerably nettled. Aa a matter of fact I am by way of being an expert In old furniture. “I am afraid, Jane." 1 said, rather regretfully than Irritably, as Jana avers, “that you know Just enough about old furnlturo to prevent your looking at It with an unprejudiced eye. Tho old story, my dear—a little knowledge—ah !" "A little knowledge Is never likely to trouble you. Mammy." said Jane, with acid sweetness "Instead of the cabriole logs so commonly used by Chippendale, Sher aton adopted square, tapering legs. I beg you to remember. Jane, that the chairs at Solomons' had square, taper ing logs." "The freedom with which the wheat- car design is treated, and the flowing const motional lines." she objected, "prove that tho chairs at Solomons' con'd not have been the work of Sher aton, whose designs were Invariably marked by a restraint amounting to austerity detail. On the other hand every characteristic of ehlppcndala may be observed In those chairs—" “What about the legs?" I asked. “Oh, bother the legs!" said Jane. I reflected. "I think," 1 said at last, "you might admit they are Sheraton." "Not unless you agree that they are Chippendale," said Jane. The second half of our walk was not a success. Next day 1 went to Solomons. “Are those chairs Chippendale or Sheraton?" I demanded. "The ones with the shleld-shkped backs and a wheat-ear design." •They're Hepplewhtte, sir." sold Solomons. "Well-known destgn?" I shall not tell Jane. But she will probably find out— Black and White. til it burst its banks and overwhelmed everything. They themselves took each a large portion of the best of the earth that they might create a new world und u quantity of maize, which hud been their particular food, und return ed to heaveu. Arriving at the gate of heaven, which is at the end of the plains, where the sky and mountains meet, they were told that they couJd not bring such burdens of earth Into heaven. Accordingly they dropped them all then and there. These falling masses made u great heap on the top of the world which extended far above tho waters, nod this Is the origin of I'ike's peak, which Is thus shown to be directly under the gate of heaven. (It was formerly twice us high as now', but lost Its summit, as Is told In an- ■other legend./ "The rock masses upon It and all about show that they have been dropped from the sky. The variety nud extent of the mineral w'ealth In the region prove that the earth’s choic est materials nre deposited there. Atid still as the constellutlous move across the heavens and vanish above the mountain aummits we may see the spirits rise from the great river and pass to the gate of heaven. The fall ing stars are their fulling burdens or the dropping grulns of maize." CULTIVATE TACT. If Yoa Do Not Possess It* Strive to Acqalre It. I want It recognized that tact should be taught continuously, seriously, thor oughly; that If should be placed In the forefront of education and take Its natural first place aide by side with the catechism, writes Frank Dauby in Black and White. A friend of mine recently suffering under a great bereavement was In the receipt of Innumerable letters and tele grams from friends, acquaintances and tho general public. Out of the 1,140 of such communications two only hit the right note. Among pages of sentiment al and religious commonplace two mes sages alone touched the heart- “He was a uinu 1 loved. 1 am with you In your grief," was one. The other ran: "You have lost your best pal. lie was tnlno too. God help us both." Both of them epitomized the senders —ineu with great hearts. But the ac quisition of tnct by some of the other sympathizers would have supplied Its place. Again, paying nn afternoon visit re cently, my hostess, wanting a book to which our conversation had referred, rang the bell. Within two minutes the servant appeared with tea, and the fol lowing colloquy occurred; "Who told you to bring ten?" "Please, mn'am, I thought that was what you rang for." “Well, please don’t think. I hired you to answer the bell. It %vp*u’t the sig nal for n guessing completion. When I want you to do that I'll supply the kitchen with a copy of a newspaper.” I was not surprised to hear this lady changed her servants frequently. CURIOUS OATHS. It la One of the Mm llldeooa of Creaiurea. A greedy, voracious, relc-ut’ess crea ture Is the octopus, and a most formi dable enemy even to muii, for it Is e:i le.’ to cut or tear off one of those terribn* long arms with Its two rows of suck ers than to imluce the creature to re linquish any prey it has laid hold of. These suckers also enable It to drag its Wiy into very narrow crevices, from which scarcely any force will avail to remove It. the argo ejecting ock symlrtllziug flie fate of a I i u k, but the octopus is so subtle uud perjurer. I clever that he run vary the color of his In certain parts of India tigers* and j ink according to the color of the ground lizards' skins take the place of the 1 he is passing over, nt^, as be Is very Bible of Christian countries, and the I active and darts about at lightulug penalty of breaking the oath Is that [ gpeed, he constantly escapes being * " ' " caught. Odd Wiij* of Sn-enrlnac (O the Troth of Statements. When n Chinaman swears to tell the truth he down, cud n china saucer I - g.vcn h.ti. The oath Is then administered; "You sbai; tell the truth and the whole truth. The saucer is crackl'd, uud if you do uot^ tell the truth your soul will be cracked like the saucer." when he hffakh the saucer. Other symbolic variations of the Chinese oath are the extinguishing candle or cutting off of a cock' THE UGLY OCTOPUS. Hr »!▼«* nod head, the light of the c-audie represent- | Like its beautiful brother th Jug the witness' soul and the fate of j 0 nut, It defies Its enemies by i lit one case the witness will become tiie prey of a tiger und In the other that bis body will be covered with scales like a lizard. In Norwegian courts of law tbe pre- I hide to the oath proper is a long ■ He Is an unsociable creature, appar ently quite satisfied with his own so ciety, os he roams about alone, seeking what he may devour on rocky shores, where he may be met with of all sizes. hontily on the sanctity of the oath und j varying In length from an Inch to two the terrible consequences of not keep- or ,* nore Ing It. When the witness Is duly J *i*|je octopus has one very curious crushed by the sense of his fearful re- , habit—when resting he coils up some sponsibillty the oath is administered j 0 f tils arms into a semblance of the while he holds aloft his thumb and , Bhe il of the argonaut - rearson's Week- fnrn nn<1 mlilillo Anwra aa nn nnihlom 1 j^, fore and middle fingers as an emblem of the trlulty. In an Italian court the witness, with bis right hand resting on an open Bible, declares, "I will swear to tell the truth, the w’liole truth and nothing but tbe truth." The Mohammedan takes the oath with his forehead reverently resting on the open Koran. He takes his "Bible" In his hngd and, stooping low, as If In tbe presence of a higher power, slowly l»ows bis head until It touches the book which to him Is In spired. In certain parts of Spain the witness when taking nn oath crosses the thumb band over tho forefinger of the other and, kissing this symbolic, if primitive, cross, says, "By this cross I swear to tell the truth.” A MARKET PRIMER. his be Brlta in I.. Durkrat London. »k. "Child Slaves of limit »i»crt H. Sbcrard writes: thousands of our |»oor cliil- iidott starving not ou no- o poverty of the parents, mu of the Ignorance and mothers. They know noth .cry; they wish to know liey do not care for the trouble. In every Ixntdoti slum you will find a fried fish shop or a cooked meat shop or a grocer who sella cheese ami pickles uud potted things. It is much easier and 'less worrlting-like' to send the children out with coppers for a penn'orth of fish und chips or a bit of choose and pickles than to rat £&y thlug for them." •thing. Vocation and Avocation. "Avocation" Is oue of those unfor- tuuute words that are constantly being used In a wrong sense. Strictly s)wak ing. It refers to souiethlug that calls a man away from the ordinary occupa tion of his dally life. If you earn your living by drafting conveyances and In terpreting legal subtleties and also nre often seen In leisure hours with a cam era In your hand and have a dark room at home, then the law la your vocation and photography your avocation.—Lon don Telegraph. H. Wanted to Tr.do. n , Gen. Longstreet was telling one* . There are tew bird* whose plumage how etrlct hla ortora wero during the |, «„ variable aa the ptarmigan'., clril war regarding the good treat- Three time. In the year Ita plumage meat by hla men of union soldiers, I diuncs. i, has separate coati for A p ° th * i •print autumn and winter. At the bo- record of hla men A union veteran of i>ov , mb( . r itpnt.rn.the law w “ * mon * hl * r* m,rk ; ! coatume of the acnJt. It. .prlug . that tha general s orders were not , brown nn d summer gray serve well to always obeyed. He was among those captured once by Longst reel's men. “One day" eald he. “a good-natured fallow In gray, with no shoes to speak of. walked along our lines looking la* tently at the shoes of the captured summer gray serve well to hide It among the scanty herbage of Its ha nuts from the keen eye of the soar ing falcon. WILLS OF LUNATICS. The Queer Deqnesta That Are Made hr Insane Persons. One of the manias which ore evi denced by the Insaue Is a desire to make a will. Of course these docu ments are waste paper as far as their legality Is concerned, but the attend ants and doctors treat these documents with the greatest respect in order to humor the demented creatures. Some of these wills would be amus ing If It were not for the sad condition of mind of which they are tho outcome. One mnn confined in an asylum left all his money to the ntlkado of Japan on condition that this dignitary should vis it the grave of the testator onco each year and plant chrysanthemums upon It. The remainder of the estate was to be handed over to nn Imaginary charity called the Brotherly Love and Bounty society. Another lunatic in a Parisian asylum left a will devising tho whole of his es tate to tho possessors of Uomnn noses residing In and nenr Paris. The rea son for this was that he had rather a handsome nose of this shape and was constantly admiring It. A similar be quest was tlutt of a patient who left his property to an attendant because he possessed one of the ugliest nasal or gans the testator lmd ever seen. One ntnn, who was a filleted with the mania that he was sane, but confined In the asylum unjustly, devised a will leaving his money to the commission ers of lunacy to enable thorn to etitfiige a large staff of men for the purpose of visiting nsyhtms and ascertaining if tiny were confined in them without rea son.—New York Times. nUli.nren nt Sen. That man was luugluM at who on his first voyage said t{jat the ocean did not look so large as lit* supposed it would, but in* was not alone in ex pcrlcncing disappointment. The hor izon at sea gives no idea of the lim itless water beyond. A sea captain de clares that the average landsman can not see more thsu ten miles from the ship In auy direction, and it would have to be a mountain or some station ary object for him to be able to dis tinguish It. The innsts of a ship are said to be visible to tbe naked eye not more than five tulles. It Telia About the Butcher und the Wuy He fells His Meat. What is the man doing behind the counter? He Is selling meat. Let us watch him. What Is tbe lady going up to the counter for? To buy meat from tbe greasy man with tbe wUlte apron. What does she ask for? A five pound roast of porterhouse. What does he give her? A seven pound roast. Then does he charge her only for what she asked for?" No, Indeed. He charges her for what he chose to give her. Didn’t tbe lady know what she want ed? Evidently tbe man didn’t think so. Can't he tell the weight of a piece of meat when he picks it up? Certainly he can. Otherwise he would never be able to know that ho is al ways selling you a piece of meat sev eral pounds bigger than you wanted. Why does tbe man do this? It Is impossible to associate con stantly with greasy things anil not be come pretty smooth yourself. Now run and play.—Baltimore ^American. FISHING LINES. The Very Fluent Are Thoae Fori From Silkworm Out. Silkworm gut forms the best Hue for fishing purposes, partly on account of its great tenacity and partly because it is so transparent. Every year a suf ficient number of Spanish silkworm grubs are selected for this purpose. Aft er they have eaten enough mulberry leaves and before they begin to spin they nre thrown Into vinegar for sev eral hours. Each insect Is killed, and the substance which the grub in the natural course would have spun Into a cocoon Is forcibly drawn from the dead worm Into n much thicker and shorter silken thread. The threads are then placed In pure water for ubout four hours and after ward dipped for ten minutes in a so lution of soft soap. The flue outer skin is thus loosened so that the work man can remove It with his hands. Tho threads must bo dried lu n shady place and lire ofteu bleached with sulphur vnj»or until they acquire the bright appearance of spun glass.—Lon don Telegraph. J«*nu> Lind nm n Child. Jenny Lind as a child of three years was the lark of her parents' bouse. As a girl of nlue she attracted the atten tion of all lovers of music and entered the Stockholm conservatory as a pupil. Her continuous studies at so tender an age caused the sudden toss of her voice, and for four full yean she pursued her theoretical and technical studies, when suddenly the full sweet sounds came back, to the delight, as every one knows, of thousands for many yean. Woman of the House (handing him a plate of cold scraps>—You look like a man who has seen better days. Fon- dry Gretts—Ycs'm, thankee. I have. There was a time, ma'am, w'en I would have blushed to hand such a layout as this to a dog.—Chicago Tribune. The Walters. Usefulness of any man or woman lies principally in tho willingness back of the hands to do as well as they pos sibly can whatever comes tlioir way. As a rule, It will be found that the most useless persons in the world nre those who are "waiting" for something to turn up. Aud by the same sign It Is a fact that the most useful boiugs nre those who have taken up tbe first thing that came ty baud and done the best they could with It These people usual ly find something to their liking In the long nm, too, and If this be denied them they have the good sense to learn to llko what comes. OBESITY A DISEASE. VIzoroaM For IU Ileiaovnl Shot.Id lie Taken. At middle a;;.- cat-tala organs lose fr.mlloiul activity uud shrink and waste away, uw^uding less blood uud n<*. \«M 1KT. ..V. Tfl..i decreased need for hii./.Tiou, i;' not heeded, will resuit In ti. i.. : Into the hotly more food than j K . 0 _. and used either to Lu.'l.j up >Je or f^r the geueratlou of no.;t nud t u-rgy. The result Is kld- no.li.er mid other excretory organs an* overworked lu the effort to remove the bouy was.es and become diseased, lays a writer ia the Housekeeper. Then nature stores up this foul material in the form of fat lu all the lymph spaces, between the fibers of the muscles and iu every oilier odd corner In the body where it cau be stowed away. Iu time tld.» lifeless, u o! ms structure of fat crowds out muscle, gland and other normal tin :ues and takes their pi ice. This Is what is known as laity degen eration and always shortens life, end ing often in ; lu’uin death fro.n b art failure, apoplexy, diabetes or U.uu.*y disorders. The proven ion of o’ esity means reg ulation of diet, especially in middle life and when ehniig n; from an active out of door occupation to a sedentary in door life. Often the amount of food should be cut down from one-fourth to one-half, especially avoiding fats and sweets, also soft foods, which tend to gormandizing from deficient mastica tion and too hasty eating. No wine, beer or alcoholic drink or tea or coffee should be used. At meals even the use of water should be restricted. Exer cise should be taken lu the open air and deep breathing practiced to in crease the Intake of oxygen and burn up and oxidize bodily toxic matter. For those women who are overstout, yet retain a fair amount of physical vigor, the day should begin with a cold bath, plunge, spray, cold towel rub or sponge bath, after which should be tak en active exercise In the form of work, either In tho open air or In a well ven tilated room, horseback riding, bicy cling or a brisk walk for an hour or more. Exercise in a well ventilated gymnasium may be substituted for the out of door, but Is not so effective and Invigorating. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. Lo»g Flight hr Night. Nearly all small birds make their long flights by night, spending the day time quietly feeding and resting, so that If on any day In May the treetops are full of flitting little warblers It Is no sign that the following day will find them still there. Some kinds, like phoe- bes, song sparrows, meadow larks and bluebirds, come very early—as soon as the anew Is all gone and the south slop ing hillsides begin to feel warm and “smell of spring."—St. Nicholas. A girl Is never going to go very far wrong who Is a good chum of her fa ther and brothers. There Is a family In every neighbor hood which furnishes amusement for the rest and doesn't know It. Every one has had more happy days In his life than wretched ones, but how he lets the wretched ones stand out! There are so many operations of late that a man can become distinguished by arriving In heaven all In one piece. One great trouble In life Is that the paths for going wrong are planted so prettily with flowers at tbe beginning. Occasionally n disagreeable person will boust that at least he Is sincere, but that is no excuse for being dis agreeable. Three things you never discover till there Is death In the house: The good ness of tho neighbors, the way time drags and how loud the clock ticks.— Atchison Globe. Fresh Fra It. "Gold In the morning, silver at noon and lend nt night" Is always used with reference to fruit. Most people think It means that tho explanation of the prov erb Is that digestion is strongest In the morning ami weakens ns the day goes on. But you will note tlmt the proverb refers to fruit alone. If It hns to do with the digestive power only it should j be applied to all fowls. The real expla- i nation Is very different. It is that fruit JOE’S BAD BREAK. It was a delightfully lnrormal little meeting of a chajrman and her com mittee. The business of the club had been faithfully attended to early in the afternoon. So they just drew up their chairs around the tea table for a social chat before separating. None of their maids had committed any startling iniquity worth mentioning since the last meeting, and only one baby was teething, so these topics were soon exhausted. "To wear or not to wear the new shirred skirts had been fully discussed at previous committee meetings, so the conversa tion turned quite naturally on "The Mistakes of Husbands.” They all prefaced their remarks by saying that they eacn nad one of the kindest and noblest and most consid erate of husbands, but—and from there the story started. This one was narrated by the chairman after the others had finished their accounts, as a sort of climax. "There never was a better man. nor a more hospitable person in the world. Nothing delights him so much as to have company at meals, espe cially when they drop In Informally without any fuss or preparation." “Just like John/’ "Henry," "Thomas” and "Will," muttered etch of the committee under their breaths as a sort of conscience salve for the things they had been telling out of school regarding said J., H., T. and W. "My hnsband is Just crazy about company," each one hastened to as sure the other, by way of letting her know that the man to whom she had given her youthful affections was not wholly without redeeming traits, If he did forget to mall letters, and thought pale blue satin a perfect match for Nile green panne. "Well, that’s the trouble with Joe. He gets Just silly when we have com* pany, but I never knew # him to make quite such a break as he did the other day. You know he thinks everything f cook Is Just about'right ” "There, that’s John, Henry, Thomas and Will all over,” came from each of the sisterhood, with the names In the proper places. "Especially a way I have of mak ing pressed chicken ” "I’ve got a lovely recipe " "John won’t eat it anywhere except at bome ” "I mane mine Just like Will’s mother." "Henry thinks it's refy unwholesome, and I never have It on my table " from the Greek chorus. "Well, we had pressed chicken for dinner last Wednesday—and mine Is perfectly wholesome; nobody need hesitate about eating It—when my cousin Alice happened In. She hod been shopping all the morning, and she was hungry, and she thought the chicken was just fine. That pleased Joe, and he started In. Tes, I don’t know that anybody can beat Emma at’pressed chicken; but it tastes even better cold than hot, 1 think. I do hope there’ll be some left for suppeiv so you can see how good it la.' Alice had Just passed her plate for a third helping at my urging, and she quickly drew it back and protested that she had had enough. I gave Joe the most awful kick under the table, and tried to overcome his feeble objections, for the poor girl was hungry. '"Well, now, Emma,' continued the oblivious creature, 'you know it does taste good cold, and I hope there’ll be enough left for Alice to have a taste. You said the other day yourself that you thought It tasted good cold. If there's any left, you’ll see I am quite right Alice.’ "Poor Alice, she wouldn’t touch a mouthful after that, nnd even pnrfook sparingly of tho broad and butter, freshly gathered is fitted f >r eating nnd \ and made me take bark half tho lorn- lessens In vnhums the hours pass. That | on pddlng. I don’t know what kind Is true not of fruit only, but of all veg etables. That which comes direct from the garden to tho table Is the most pal ntablc nnd in every way best fitted foi consumption. Trt# Cmnoar, "So you have bought your wife an* unionists. Hs pat his toot by tho ills other expensive ring. lint that a wait* of alas, sad. remarking that I was of money)" put his aba, added. -Old Fats (Long. “On th* contrary. It la true economy, street) sags ha will hare every hi for aha won't require halt to many •hat who stalls anyth!ag from a pri» pain of gtorea aa formerly." aaw. To (are my UK woat yoa tsada Shaaa wtth ma, tor I mat hare nan cannot ha a greater red*orea (hare shoos r Of coaraa. I tredad. M this to Interrupt another la tha esmat WrttarprtMMnr afhu K.a.nnntilr, Church Worker—Would you nsslst us. good air, to scud a missionary to the canalbala? Mr. Gotrux—Not much! I’m vegetarian. But I’ll asaist yon to sell) them tome easily digested ccreal!- Puck. Uved ts Water. The Tramp—I one* Uved on water, lady, for all montha. The Lady—Ton don't look like It. How did you manage It? The Tramp—I waa a sailor. Gnat and formidable among men to thapawaraftoaghter. Namutopnaf ig^nl hi qnii- ptnlL Nothing of tho King. “Now, air." aald the advocate, croea examining a wltneaa, “your answers are not aatlsfactory. I am atrald yon are slightly ambiguous.” Witness (with great Indignation)—I am naethlng o' tbe kind. sir. !'m a strict teetotaler.—London Tlt-BIts. Snsplcloes. Junior Partner—Tbe bookkeeper has been married nearly six months now. Senior Partner-Well) Junior Partner —WeU, be hasn't aaked tor a raise In salary. Senior Partner—Heavena! Well hare to have hla accounts examlnad.— Be brave In trouble; meet distress with dauntless courage; but whan tha cato tot prosperity blows be wlaa, aa laa* ud ‘ DcrpeM tfnut Kvcr .Katie. The deepest haul of a net ever made lu the world was achieved by Amer icans off the Tonga Islands. In the south Pacific. The trawl struck bottom 23,000 feet below the surface—that Is considerably more than four miles down—but even nt that depth animal life was found. Those strange boiugs lived in water whose temperature was constantly just abore the freezing point and under a pressure of 0,000 pouuds to the square inch. To rj<ik that net and bring It back again took a whole day of steady labor.—St. Nicholas. parsimonious crest u ( thought I was united to. and I haven’t , any Idea of the rumors she spread after sjhe got home. Put that man j turned up smiling that evening, and asked me on our way home from Mrs. Bolton’s whist, 'Say, Emma, by the way, what was the matter with you any how, to-day. Nice If a man has got to get his shins kicked black and bluo because he booms up his wife's cooking, I don’t think. Maybe its hew woman way from the club? Yes?" get So Wonderfal. Tourist (In retired village)—So that's tbe oldest Inhabitant? One hundred and four yeara old? No wonder you're proud of him. Native—I dunna He ain't done nothin' In this ycr place 'cept grow old. and It'a took him a sight o' time to do that .. i Kidding tha Admiralty. r. geographical Jobe was success- tolly played on tbo representatives n-: the British Admiralty In the House of Commons a tew years ago. The naval estimates were under considera tion. when Ifr. Roy^j gravely pr£~ trsted that, while millions were being epent elsewhere, not a penny waa to be expendad on Woodford Bay, tha consequence being that no big vends cculd enter the bay. The protest was taken tn a perfectly aerioua manner, attention to It wauromised. and It waa only when the 'Irisn members laughed heartily at their compatriot’* * w « •* ■«**!«•*. toko that It waa dlacovered that the There are^many thlnga you can't do «8ay- referred to waa on a canal con- wlth money,” aald the man who affects philosophy. “Tes.” answered Duatln Stax, "but there are a whole lot more things you can't do without It.”—Washington Star. Os. ASTSslaaf. Green—This paper tells of a man who recently married his aunt Brown— He’s In luck. Green—How so? Brown —Being his own uncle now, be will be able to wear hla watch regnlarly.-Cin- clnnatl Enquirer. Mils* Her Rlckt. n. Housekeeper-Jane, are th* „ l boding? Jano data of Bos ton I- Most assuredly not. madam I may aatMy say, however, that the water to nected with the River Shannon, and tn tho very heart of Ireland.—London New*. Recipe for Cocoanut Timbales. C-coanot timbales-For ( ordinary ■lie molds allow 2 egga, 1 pint of milk, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 1 grated cocoa- nut and aa much sifted bread crumb* aa may be required. Butter the t!n> hale molds or a mall cups and line them Brit wtth the bread crumbs, then with a thick layer of oocoanut Beat tha egg, wtth sugar and tha milk and BU the mold* or caps with th* mixture. Stand th* cups la a pan of boiling wa ter andhaksfor 13mlnatea. Turnout of th* molds sad sere* hot or edd with hart sauce sad whipped cream h brandy respectively.