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THE DAWSON WEEKLY JOURNAL.
B Y j. and. hoyl & CO.
{laason Jonraal
PCBUSUII) XYXKT Thursday.
rEBJHS-StrUtly in Advance.
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I Er.il, be inserted for 16 cents
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in the “ 1.0c.l Column "
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6r , {i and 20 cent-per line for each subse
’“lll communications or letters on business
intended for this office should be addressed
,»“Tbi Dawson Journal”
legal advertising rates.
Sheriff sales, per levy of 1 square... .f 400
Mortgage sales per levy 8 00
T.i sales, per levy ’
Citations for Letters of Administration 400
Application for Letters of guard.a-
Application for Dismission from Ad
ministration ••• •••• 10 00
Aonlication for Dismtssiom from
Guardianship •”•••* 600
Application for leeve to sell Land—
M , ,q|4, each additions) square.... 400
Application for Homestead. 3 00
Notice to debtors and creditors ... 600
Land sales, per sqaare (inch) 4 00
Sale of Perishable properly, per eq 3 On
Estrav Notices, sixty days 8 00
Notice to perfect service 3 00
Rule Nisi, per square 4 00
Rules to establish lost papers, per sq 400
RnleP compelling titles, per square.. 400
Rule* w perfect service in Divorce
cases 1000
The above are the minimum rates of legal
advertising now charged by the Press of
Georgia, and which we shall stricllv adhere
to in the future. We hereby give final no
tice that no advertisement of this class will
be published in the Journal without the fee
is paid in advance, only in cases where we
have special arrangements to the contrary
' p’rofessictiai ©ards.
Jones^antist,
OFFICE up stairs over J. W. Johnston’s
Brick store. April 27, l y.
B. F. 6IMMONB, T. H. PICKETT.
& TT
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
DAWSON - GEORGIA.
JAMES KEEL
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Leary, Cnllioriii Cos . Gn.
c. B. WOOTIIM,
Attorney at Ei»w,
ALBAXT, - G EOItO 1.1
\\ T ILL prac'ice in the Slate Courts ami in
’’ the Circuit and District Couits of the
United States in Savannah. sept‘27.
J. J. BKOK,
Attorney at Law,
Hersaii, Calhoun County, Ga.
Will practice in the Albay Circuit aud else
where in the State, by Contract. Prompt at
lention given to all business entrusted to his
eate. Collections a specialty. Will also in
stigate titles and buv or sell real Estate in
•albaon, Baker aud Parly Counties.
Burch 81—ts
l. G CARTLEDGE,
Attorney atLaw
»»RGA!tr, - - GEORGIA.
VVIIX give close attention to all busi
" t*:ss entiusted to his care in Albanv
Circuit. 4-Iv "
L. C- HOYLi
Attorney at Law.
Dawaon, Georgia,
*• FIELDEk. IBUB L. FIELBEU.
H-& I. L. FIELDER,
ATTORNEYS at law
Cutiibfrl, - - Georgia.
Yyni.iL give prompt and vigilant attention
to all business confided to them in
s counties of Randolph, Stewart, Quitman,
«rrell. Clay, Calhoun and Earlv, -the Su
preme Court of Georgia, and the U. S. Dis
_r,c t and Circuit Courts for the Southern
Bistriot of G -orgia.
office over city Post Office Oct. 2 ts.
D. H. MILLER,
at law,
Morgan, Ga.
Woffice in Ordinary’s Office. 030,8 m
JAMES R GUERRY,
Attorney's at I,aw,
- GKOItGi.i.
Office ia the Court Bouse. Feb. 4
r * L. JANES,
ATTORNEY at law,
DJV'SO V, - GEOkGIA.
Office over J. V. Johnston’s store. Jan 7
** A *
TJr. Hayes’ hi nilu rii Polit y.
[ From lhe d^iuclunatlCommercial—Hayes orgrn,
Ibe idea of President Hayes touch,
mg the new policy in the South, as
, nearly as we can understand it, is
best expressed in his woids about tha
imperative necessity ot hon. st local
self government. He thinks, as uearly
as we can make out, that the great
interest of the general public
hat the great interests of the
general public can not be served
by maintaining the Republican State
governments in South Carolina and
Lousiana, any longer at the point of
the bayonet. The Republican party,
lor example, loses more in good will
than it gains by the use ot force in ;
the disputed States. The presence ot I
the bayonet develops an irritation that
prevents tbe exetcise of healing iuflu
enees. Thmefore take away that
implement except where it is also- i
lutely Decessary to use it as a peace
maker, The Republicpp parly might
maintain itself for a year or two in
the disputed States by militaiy force,
at tbe cost, perhaps, of half a dozen
States elsewhere. Let the Chamber-!
lain Andj Packard State governments
crumble therefore. Let them go.—
Let Hampton and Nichols come in.—
Then what ? There are rot State
offices enough to satisfy the Southern
whites. They will he in good condi
tion to gather tbe information that
the Democratic party is not essential
to salvation. The Republicans can
rely upon tin steadfast adh(ranee of
the Southern blacks. Add to them
twenty per cert, of the whites, and
the South would tie overwhelmingly
Rejublican. Make it but ten per
cent, uud half the Southern States are
Repub ican. Perhaps this can not be
done at once. Anil yet, a stateman
like application of the powers wiel
ded by tbe General Government,
might do it in a few years. Let tbe
Soutbern’people have for Postmaster,
for instance, persons who ate able to
read and write, and are known in the
places where they are appointed to
office. The Government should not
discriminate against Confederates in
these petty affairs. A crusade against
carpet baggers is not demauded, but a
carpet baggers’ mid should not be en
couraged and insisted upou. This
IS THE TKUE INTEN l' ANU MEANING OF THE
A! POINTMENT OF KeT.
The Difference in JFathers. —A
local correopoudent of the Boston
Trmuript wiites: 'Ou Sunday, in the
absence of tbe teacher, I took charge
of a class ol boys of from four to six
years of age. ‘Speaking the truth’
was tbe basis of our couversatiou to
gether. I asked the boys if either
ol them could tell the story of Geor
ge Washington and his tittle hatchet.
Cue of the boy* promptly begun to
tell tlis story, aud Was listened to
most attentively by the dozen or more
of the class. One little fellow, who
had given the most careful attention,
turning his head a little one side, his
bright eyes snapping, and with a most
determined expression upon his face,
exclaimed, ‘Well, Mr. B -—, I don t
care !My father hsd an oleander
bush, and 1 cut it down. He asked
me if I did it. I told him I did
aud he licked me !
Monroe Advertiser: We are called
upon to repoit an act of lawlessness,
which would have disgraced au in
habitant of the most barbarous coun
try known. A young man uamed
Tanner, living in Butts county, came
, 0 Forsyth on Saturday last, and
drank enough liquor to make him
very drunk. In the afternoon be ieit
town for home, in a wagon with sou e
negroes- When nearly out of town
he passed the residence of Mr. W. B.
Amos, and seeing a negro woman in
the yard ho palled out his pistol and
fired at the woman. The ball mi-sed
her and struck the bouse. Mis. Arnos
hearing the noise, came out >f the
house to ascertain the c ause. Tanner
jumped out of the wagon, rut mar
the home and fired his pistol al Mrs
Amos. Fortunately he missed his aim.
The marshal was in the neighborhood
and arrested Tanner and bro ght hi
up town, when Mr. Atuus I" '
a wan ant and had him commixed -o
jail. Later in the afternoon, the
deputy sheriff, not knowing that 1 >u
ner was confined in the lower room ot
the jail, left the lront dooi open.—
Tanner walked out, and a dilligeut
search has failed to find him since.—
It is quite likely that had he not been
drunk, this outiage would not have
occurrod. But drunkenness is ‘>nt the
slightest excuse for crime.
Subscribe for the Joclkal-
DAWSON, GEORGIA THURSDAY, MARCH 22, 1877.
How It I>,» S .Waved u Life.
About noon yesterday some men
were diiving a cow alouq a public
thoroughfare when die became eurag*
ed andthey lost control over tho animal.
The cow then espied a boy, fourteen
years 0, age, who peddles 6mall wates
from a band-basket, aud made at him.
The hoy was knocked d<wn, and the
infuriated brute began to gore him,
but fortunately her horn* had been
cut down about one-half and she
could only bruise and grind him
against the earth and trample him
The men tiied to lasso her, but could
not do so. Patrick Spain heard the
boy's cries for help, and ran out of
the house. Oa seeing the situation
he called out to his wife to unchain a
medium-sized bull deg he keeps at
his place which being done, Spam
threw the dog over the fence end then
ran around to the gale to follow him.
The dog comprehended at once what
was wanted of him, and sprang for
the maddened beast, now pawing and
crushing the boy down, The dog l
could only get at the cow bv getting
upon the boy, w hich he did speedily,
aud as she made another charge the
bull dog seized her by lhe throat, and
in a secoud or two more had file cow
dow and rolled her over and over.
never letting go his grip. One of the
drovers then threw Spain a rope, J
which after long trial and much risk, '
he slipped over the cow s head and \
by main force ol the crowd collected {
she wasdrawn to a post and tied down,
the dog still clinging to the throat
The fury c.f the cow was such that, it
was found nesessary to kill her on the
spot. The Uoy meanwhile was taken i
charge of by Mrs. Spain, who dressed
his wounds, aud Spain then took to
his home. He was badly bruised and
torn. But for Spian’s presence if
mind in callingjhis dog to the rescue,
and the dog’s instant comprehension
of his duty, the boy would, in all bu
man probability, huvo been killed in
a few seconds more. —Sacramento Un
ion.
A Touch <>f Pride*
It was a cold night in the winter.
The wind blew and the snow was
whirled furiously about, seeking to
hde itse-f beneath the cloaks and
hoods, and in every hair of those
that were out. A distinguished lec
turer was to speak, and notwithstand
ing lhe storm the villagers ventured
forth to hear him. William,Annesley
buttoned up to bis chin in his thick
overcoat, accompanied his mother.
It whs difficult to walk through tho
new fallen snow, against the piercing
wind, ami William said to his mother :
‘Couldn’t you walk more e sily if
you took my arm 'i
‘Perhaps 1 could, tiis 1 other re
plied, as she pnt her arm through
his and chew up,as close as po-sible to
him. Together they breasted the
storm, the mother and the boy who
hadoDce been canied in her arms
but who has now growu up so tall
that tbe could ban on his. They had
not walked far before he sail to her :
I am very proud to night.
Proud that you can tak9 care ot
me ~i
This is the first time you have ever
leaned on me, said the bapjy boy.
There will be few hours in that child’s
life of more exalted pi bsuie than he
*i,ji yod that eveiii.,g if he should iive
to an old age, and should in his man
hood lovingly prov.de (or her who
watched ever him in helpless infancy.
It was nolle pride that made his
mothei love him, if possible, more
than ever, and made her piay ler him
wi.lr more e_ri estness, thankful for
Ins devoted love and hopeful for his
future. Then is no more beautiful
s'glit than affVctionate. devoted, ot>e'
tiient children. A*> are sure that he
whu.pomtnau'led children to love their
athers aud motters must look upon
such with pleasure. May Hu bless
everv boy whose hearts is filed with
am hi, mu to be a blessing aud a “staff
to his mothvr.’
Jonah and the Whale. —A natu
ralist walks LiOidly to the trout and
announces mat the preservation ol ,
Jonah Hr the whale's belly was not a
milacle. The throat ot the v. bale is
provided with a bag or intestine, so
considerable in size that the whales
frequently take ui'o it two ot their
young ones when weak and e.pecial
iji during a tempest. As this rec- p
toclfe is furnished with two vents that
st ive tor iuspiiation, it is claimed that
| Jonah could have lived there comior
tably, aud, with a reasonable amount
ot furniture, for many years, provi
ded ho could obtain food and drink.
The Bijiscst Lie.
An English Bishop lately told this
good story at his own expen-e. He
was in the habit of traveling iucogni.
to about his parish, after the fashion
cf ‘the good Haroun Alraschid,* and
in one of his walks came upon a group
of men who were wrangling over some
matter.
‘Well, my good men,* said his lord
ship, ‘what are you doing i"
The response of one of tbe men
was not calculated to please and on
courage the amiable prelate.
‘We bin a liin,* be said.
‘Lying ?' said tbe horrified Bishop.
‘What do you mean ?‘
■ Why, yer see,* waa the explanation,
; ‘one of us foun‘ a kittle, an 1 we bin' a- j
try-iu‘ who can tell the biggest lie to
have it.‘
Shocking! said the Bisb p, and,
straightway improving the occasion,
he proceeded to impress upon the sin- j
: ners the enormity of lying. He in- j
! formed them that he had been thaught
that one of the greatest sins was to j
toll a lie, and, in tact, so strongly j
had this been urged upun him, that
never in the whole course of his life
had he told a lie.
No sooner had the excel ent Bishop
made this announcement than there
was a gleeful 6hout ;
‘Gio th‘ governor Hie kittle ! Gie th‘
governor the kittle !‘
The Intention of Key.
Postmaster General Key says that
it is his intention in the administration 1
of his office to do exactly what Pres- '
ident Hayes will require him to do in
the matter of appointments, and that
he will so manage the affairs of his
di pariment as that every act shall be
guided by respect for a broad nation
al policy in accordance with ‘he policy
of the president.
He also mteuds making a tour
thiough the south, and will make
these statements to tho southern peo
ple, with a view if creating an era of
good feeling, and thus endeavor to
reestablish a better understanding
and more friendly relations between
the two sections He speaks quite
enthusiastically and hopefully upon
these points, aud intends to use every
effort in his power to bring about
these desired resuits, — N. Y. lie) aid.
Meanness ala Colored Jlccl-
Isig.
The Irwinton Southerner and Ap
peal relates the following incident
th* t transpired at a colorsd campiLeet
ing held iu Wilkinson county.
‘Master, 1 said old Ceasar Herndon,
the other day to an old gentleman iu
Irwinton, ‘Master, de meanest tricK 1
ever knowed par petrated, wire at a
camp meeting on Big Sandy. A nig
ger ‘oman got happy and went to
shouting, and took de trimbles and
fell over. De sisters crowded ‘round
her,’and looseoed her drosa, and rub
bed lie?, and sprinkled water on her,
and brought her too, and de first
words 6he said was. ‘sho me do d—d
nigger what stole my shoes!' Dey had
stold de poor critter's shoes while try
ing to ‘store impended zaruination. ‘ —
Hawkinmll* Dispatch-
M lieu and How to eat Fruit.
When fruit does harm it is because
it is eaten at improper times, iu im
proper quantities, or beloro it is ri
pened and fit for the human stomach.
A distinguished physician has said
that if liis patients would make u
practice of eating a couple of good
oranges before breakfast, from Febru
ary to June, his practice would be
gone. The principal evil is that wo
do not e t enough of fruit, that we in*
jme its finer qualities with sugar,
that we drown them in creimi We
need the medical action of the pure
fruit acids iu our system, and their
cooling, corrective influence.
On Monday, 12th, instant, a young
white man named Henry Kiu.ho*’,
living on Col. W. D. Mitchell's place,
Thomas county, Went out turkey
bunting He soon heard a flock of
turi eys and ionceale,l himself to
await Iheir approach. He h«d nut
long beeu iu this position hefor < e
-aw the bushes shaking about the
place where he thought the tut keys
were, and catctiing sight ot what he
believed to be a turkey, he fired
Healing a noise like th tluUering of
a wou tied turkey, he ran up to secure
h s game aDh found, to his astonish
ment, a negro man tiani'Xi Bun Go d
wire iu the agoni sot d>a h, Tue
explanation ot Ben's press.mo at th it
place is that ho too was after the tu -
keys and was trying to creep on them
through the bushes.
Advertised for a lluftband.
Fortekyille, Pa., March 4—Five
years ago Miss Mary Athers, of this
place, advertised, in a Boston paper,
for a husband. Among other respen
sea to h-'r advertisement was one from
John R. Johnson, of Rutland, Ver
mont. A correspondence resulted
from the advertisement, and three
months after the card was inserted, in
accordance with the request of the
I person answering to that name, she
went to Rutland and was married
to him. Miss Athers, was the
daughter of the cashier of the
Raftmen’s bank of this place. Her
purpose was entirely unknown to her
parents. When she left home she
said she was going to Boston to visit
a college friend. Four weeks after
she went away she returned home
with her new husband, Notwith
standing the fact that her parents
were grieved at her freak they accept
ed the situation, and, Johnston being
a gentlemanly appearing mao and a
good book keeper, bis wife’s father
placed him in the bank as an assist
ant. Although Johnston developed
qualities that were inc.<nsis‘ant with
Iris position, he was retained in the
situation that was given him, and his
shortcomings were overlooked.
ANOTHER WIFE APPEARS.
On Wednesday last a lady with two
children, both under eight yoars of
age, appeared in Porterville, iShe
inquired for Mr. Johnston, saying
that his wife, and that he
was the father of her children. Her
story was not believed at first, but
when Johnston acknowledged that it
was all true, the village was thrown
into the most intense excitement.—
Johnston said that lie had beau una
ble to live with bis wife on account of
the intemperance of her mother, and
had left her two mouths before he
answerd Miss. Ather’s advertisement.
He supposed, he says that all istor*
course with her was et an end, and
thought that she would never trouble
him again. He left his victim, how
ever, and went to live with his true
wife aud child.
SUICIDE OF I'HF. VICTIM.
Mbs Athers, or as she supposed she
was Mis. Johnston, on Monday went
to Orchard's drug store and called lor
a quautity of arsenic. Being refused
the drug she went home and was
found Friday morning lying on the
iloor of her room dead She hail shot
herself through the heart with a re
volver that Johnston kept in a stand
drawer in the room they had* occu'
tried.
flight oP the Husband.
Johnston could not be found yvster*
day morning. Ilis wife and cbildien
are b‘ill here. Miss Athers was
about 24 yeais old, aud highly a ac
complishod lady. She leaves one child,
two years old. The greatest excite'
meut prevails, ani if Johnston could
be found there is no doubt but he
would be summarily dealt with. —Hew
York Herald.
Plowing Table —The following ta
ble indicates the distance tiaveied by
a horse in plowing an acre.
Breath of Space traveled in
furrow slice. plowing an acre.
7 inches 14$ miles.
8 inches 12$ mil. s.
9 inches 11 miles.
10 inches 9 9 lOmiles.
11 inches 9 miles
12 inches 8$ miles.
20 inches 4 9 lb miles.
24 inches 4 miles.
Frum this table can be seen the
aiu iu the labor account with a
which comes from the use of a board
furruw in plowing. 11 we cal! sixteen
indies a day. the day's work for the
horses, we plow but 1£ acres a day,
by making a nine-inch furrow, nearly
two acre3, by making a twelve inch
/uriow, aud when a gang plow i6 used
which plows a twenty-four inch fur
row the acroage is met eased to nearly
four.
When the Colorado Legislature
goes dowa to Cheyenne on an excur
sion, accompanied by a pal&ce drink
ing-room car, and coinss back home
with its hat duwu over both eyes and
its fael hoisted on the back of the
seats iu front, the scribes put it down
in the records as ‘weariness *
During a recent examination of a
class ol youngsters in one ol the l’liila-
I dolphin school-, tire teacher usk- and :
‘What is a monarchy and was irn- j
j mediately answered by a bright little
eight-year—old boy : ‘A eouutry gov
erned by a ki'*g.“ ‘Who would rule
if the king should die ‘The queen,
‘aud ts the queeu should dis, who
| theu would bo ruler t’ 1 ‘The jack.'
Lincoln Swapping Horses.
When Abtahani Lirroln was a
lawyer in Illinois, he and the Judge
once got to bantering 0110 another
about trading hores, and it was agieed
that the next morning at 9 o’clock
they shonld make a trade, the horses
to be unseen up to that hour, and no
backing out under a forfeiture of $125.
At tbe Lour appointed, tbe Judge
came up leading tbe sorriest looking
! specimen of a horse ever seen in those
parts. lu a few minutes Mr. Lincoln
was seen approaching with a woodeu
saw-horse u| on his shoulders. Great
weie the shouts and the laughter ol
the crowd, and both were greatly in
creased when Mr, Lincoln, on survey
in tho Judge’s animal, set down bis
saw-boise, exclaiming: ‘Well, Judge,
this -s the first time 1 ever got the
worst of it in a 'horse trade.'
Promptly Hanged.
A schoolmaster in Lucknow, Indi
anua has recently died a martyr to the
theory that discipline must be uian
tained. A boy returned to the school
after playing tiuant for several duy».
The schoolmaster locked him up inja
small room in which there was a
large snake. Ti e child cried, A
snake ! a snake ! and begged him to
open tho door. The schoolmaster
kept the door closed. About noon
the boy's lather came to inquire after
him, and on opening the door beheht
tho snake near the neck of the ueail
child. This little incident created so
strong a j rejudice against the school
master that his loyalty to tho princi
ples ol schoolroom discipline was for
gotten, and he was premptly hanged.
lie lladu’t.
The in Detroit
has set many men to thinking serious
ly. One of the serious was discovered
coming out of a Learned street saloon
yesterday, and an acquaintance col
fared him and said :
• You have been drinkin,*
‘Not a drop,* was tho reply.
‘But 1 suw you wipe off your
mouth.*
‘Yes. I wiped off my mouth, out 1
hadn't been drinking.*
‘That s honest, i»Ji: ?•
‘That's h.Miest. If you don't helievo
it smell my b eath *
He turned his face, the other got
hi nose down to iuha'e, end as he
staggered Lack he called out:
‘lf a little whiskey will kill that
smell you go and get it right away
aud I'll stand between yon and tho
pledge, and pay for the drink to boot!'
Avery rare scene was witnessed
ast Friday iu the public square ot
llarnsville. It is said to be the first
instance of the kind and we give it
publicity for the information of all
who may be tempted to Bit on guaco
sacks. A colored man, with an ox
cart, came to town and loaded his
cart with sacks of guano. He sealed
himself on the one in the front por
tion of the err*, aud in a moment he
was ns unstable as if be bad swallow
ed somethin that bad proven treach
erous to bis brain. Soon the atmos
phere around the oxen became im
pregnated with the inebtia'ing influ
ences, and a perfect zigz ig path was
followed by the cait wheels as they
went out of town. The combined odor
of the negro Uud the guuno, it is said,
affected tbe oxen 60 that they attempt
ed tc run away, and tbe last we heard
of them the negro was talking Greek,
aud tbe oxen was bolding to a tree
’pukin.‘— Da)nstille Gazette .
Mr. Teirel Hu'sey, of Paulding
county, while at a neighbor's bouse
last Saturday evening, took u gun
and went ou*. to bhuct a chicken, lie
put the gun down on the ground aDd
placed the muzzle in his mouth
and blew down its deathly cavern to
see if it was loaded. The hammer
being on the tu> e, be could r.otdeter
miue, so tie but bis foot on tbe ham
mer, and (be gun fired, tko ball lodg
ing in tiro brain. Some gentleman
present cotigbt him before ho could
fall and laid him down, and he died
instantly. Mr. iluisoy was a nice
young man and highly respected.
The sad accident ia deeply regretted
by our citizens. So say the Marietta
Journal.
A recent act ot the Legislature
makes it a misdemeanor to refuse to
work on the public roads, and imposes
a penalty ot nut leas than one nor
more than three and. liars lor each day's
default, ogether with twenty day's
t.ard labor or imprison uieut, at the
1 discicliou of tbe (Juuit.
VOL. 111. —NO. 7.
He mn three squares alter what he
supposed was a street-car light, ansi
after he got out of breath, he laid
down on the door-stt p disgusted to
find out that it was only a lightning:
bug on bis spectacles.
1 Common and Propor—a young lady
at school in parsing kiss' was asked
whether it was a common or proper
noun. After some hesitation, she re
plied that it was both common and
: proper.
The ultras say that the democrat*
! have a majority of one in the cabinet,
ilt seems that Key, Erarts, Schurz
and Devins voted for Greely, leaving
only three true blue republicans—■
■ Sherman, McCrary and Unde Dick
Thorn pson.
‘ls Pat Flanagan on board thia
ship ?’ roared Nelson during a lull in
the firing at the battle of Nile. 'l’m
here, my hud,’ said Erin’s son, show
ing himself on deck. ‘Then,’said the
gnllent Nelson looking satisfied, ‘let
the buttle proceed.* The story is Pat's,
Let every Democrat and every
friend of justice declare now upon the
altar of liberty that he will never rest
until the nu>n who stole the Presi
dency and defratided the people are
punished and driven from place.—
Cine . i.nntti Enquirer.
Stout German in the beer business*
to unprofitable customer: Here, now,
yon took doze doors und valk oud mit
your ears, eh ? (He doesn’t.) Hem 1
you don't go oud ? Veil, you vaits a
n.inuto, und I gets a man vat vill.’
There is a man in North Carolina
so strong that they employ him to
squeeze tar out of pine trees. He is
a brother of the chap who is so tall
that he has to climb a ladder to shave
himself, and when ho goes to bed he
shuts himself up like u knife.
Tito Democratic pnrty is now ap
parently in the condition of the old
man who lost his wife. The neigh**
hors came in to console and condole
him, and sympathetically inquired
if his wife was willing to die. ‘ Will
ing,' su'd, tho r.ld man. ‘lfdie was
obleejred to.* —Cincinnati Enquirer.
Mr Po|>p,£of I’oppville, in Popp
f 'o., fancying himself to be very popu
lar with his lady-love, ‘popiped tho
question’ to her i*nder the poplar
tree, when she referred him to popy,
who, when cskod for his consent la
boring under the influence of ginger
pop, popped him out of the door to
the tune of ‘Pop goes the weasel,’
There is a young lady in Silver who
has eighteen beaux—more beaux
thnn years. In order of plurality
there aie five miner beaux, three
teamster beaux, two merchants' clerk
beaux, two engineer beaux, two prin
ter beaux, two millmen beaux and
two elbows.— Lynn county Nev., Timet
‘lt is a social death,' says a fashion
able magazine, ‘when it becomes
known that a young men wears cor
sets.' This is as it should be, too.—
It's all very well for an enterprising
yourg mun to wear corsets for a day
or two, just to become an expert with
them, but to wear them as a practice
is miserable,
A clergyman waspreparing his dls
coii'se for Sunday, sloping occasional
ly to review what he had written and
to era-e that which he disapproved,
when he was accosted by bis little
son, who numbered but five summers:
‘Father, does God tell you what to
preach ?‘ ‘Certainly, my child.'—
Then what makee you scratch it out t*
A commercial exchange says :
Hugs are dull ‘ We never thought
bogs were very sharp. When one
breaks into a cabbage patch, you may
chase it fourteen hundred time*
around the lot, and it will try to crawl
through every three-inch crack ia
the fence without once seeing the hola
it made to got in. —Xorrristown Herald «
Maiden cunt—‘Who was that dirty
little boy who just spoke to you, John
uy ‘l and what did he says V Johnny
(indignant)—'He's not a little bey—
ho's an old schoolfellow o* mine—•
‘great hunting maul He raid you
was a pretty gal, and I was a sly
daug ! And look here !—if you keep
calling me 'Johnny' I won't take yer*
out any more!‘— Punch.
A book agent, who has retired from
active labor upon the hard-earned
accumulations ot a life of iudustrinus
cheek, says that the great secret of
bis success was that when be went to
a house w here the female head of tbe
family presented he3sel', he always
opened by saying, I beg your pard
on, miss, but it was your mother I
wanted to see. That always used to
get era. They not only subscribed for
; iny bock* themselves, but told rue
I where 1 could find more cuetouverst