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THE DAWSON WEEKLY JOURNAL. kY J. a HOYL & co„ jSiT aittkli l°«raai rffi l.SH*n SVKHT tHOMDAT. lt:l l.HS-Strictl!J ‘>s advance. * 76 Three inont' 1 ® j jg jit mouths 2 00 0«e —- TT7.7mer* The money for ad considered due after hrs. m.er 'i,|,j,.rti*«aent» inserted at internal* (o be j« n «we»eb insertion. th ‘ rs jrunnalchsrve.of 10 per cent will A “ Lon adrmisements ordered to be in. b, "j #n , particular page. ’"ldrertisame" l * 1 lin<ier lhe Spf ‘ • lire-’’ *iH be insorte< * for 16 Cen,! ' 6, |foe for the first insertion, and 10 cents , Vnr each subsequent insertion. n :Seotsin the “bocal Column •111 inserted at 25 cents per line lor the i lsHoeent-per line for each subse- or letters on business Ji/ed for this office should be addressed .a “Tal DtWSON JoCHNAL LEO Ah AD VKBTIBING RATES. t» Ciilltont for Letters of Administration 400 Application for Le.ters of # Application for DiemVesion from Ad- • ■iaistration ;* * * u Application for Distn.ssiooa lrom (Juardianship. Ji'r" ’ Y Application for leave to sell Land— |s each additionsl pquare 400 Application for Homestead.. « 00 Notice to debtors rnd creaitors ... 6 (si Land sales, per square (inch) 4 00 8,1, 0 f Periahable property, per sq 800 feint Notices, sixty days 8 00 Notice w perfect service 8 00 Rule Nisi, per square 4 00 Rules to establish lost papers, per tq 4 (HI Rules compelling titles, per square.. 400 Rules to perfect service in Divorce fi „i, 10 00 The above are the minimum rater of legal advertising now charged by the Press of tieorgia, and which we shall strictly adhere ta in the future. We hereby give final no tice that no advertisement of this class wil be published in the Journal without the fee \tpaid in advance, only in cases where we bare special arrangements to the contrar y Professional fcards. Dr,R, G, JoneStDfintist, OFFICE up stairs over J. W. Johnston's Brick store. April 27, ly. B. F. BIVUONB, T. H. PICKETT. snunofbA i'ic ai: tt ATTORNEYS AT LAW DAWSON - GEORGIA. JAMES KEEL ATTORN iY AT LAW, Leary, Callibiili Cos., Ga ~C. B. WOOT KM, Attorney at Law, tf/BArr, - omonetta. lI’ILL practice in the State Courts and in ” the Circuit and District Coutts of the tJnited States in Savannah. sept 27. J. J. BECK, Attorney at Law, '•rsan, Calhoiiii Conii»yT®a. Will practice in the Albay Circuit and else *here in the State, by Contract. Prompt at teaiian given to all business entrusted to his 'tre. Collections a specialty. Will also in ♦•stigate titles and bUv or sell real Estate in •tlbuon, Baker atid Parly Counties. march 21-ts L. Q CARTLEDGE, Attorney at Law fIORGASf, - - GEORGIA. \I7ILL give close attention to all busi ne§g entrusted to his care iu Albauy Circuit. 4-1 v L. C- HOYLi Attorney at Law- Dawion, tieorgiit. FIELDF.H IDUB L. FIELDER. B-&I. L. FIELDER, attorneys at law tuthberl, - - tieorgia. y\7ILl, give prompt and vigilant attention to all business confided to them in couti'iea of Randolph, Stewart, Quitman, errell. Clay, Calhoun and Early, the Su preme Court of Georgia, and the U. S. Dis -rtet and Circuit Courts for the Southern Dtstnet of G-orgia. Office over city Post Office Oct. 2 if. D. H. MILLER, at i,aw, Morgan' <>n. in Ordinary’* Office. 080,8 m JANES H.GUERRY, Attorneys at T.aw, D, <HBSfIW, - GEonaia.- oflsoe 'be Court House. Feb. 4 r * L- JAN® S, ATTORNEY at law, daw soy, 3 GEORGIA. OSee over J. t|\ Johastos’s strut. Jaol ' Vl *V'||« bog’s i„ »| WII .„ < old. BT MADGE ELLIOTT. “Whrt makes the di g’e hose a ways cold ?” I’ll try to toll yon, curls of gold, If you- will pond and quiet Go, And come and stand Ly mamma's knee; Well, years, and yeurs, and years ago, How many I r-a ly don’t know— T oro catno a lain on sea and sLore* Its like was never seen lielore Or since. It fell unceasing down, Till all the world began to drown, Bur just before it began to pour, An old, old man—his name wasNoub Built him an ark, that he ui.gtu save' His fam’ly from a wate’rygrave; And in it also he designed To shelter two of every kind Os best. Well, dear, when it was done, And hevy clouds obscured the sun, The No»h folks to it quickly run, ’ And then the animals began To gravely march along in p >i>« ; The leopards, tigers, wolves,and hears, Ti e deer, the hi|.po| otau.nses. The ranbits, squirrels, elks, walruses, The camels, goats, cats and donkeys, The tali girffes, the beavers, monkeys, The rats, the big rhinoceroses, The dromedaries and the liorsett, lhe sheep, > nd mice, thekaugaioos Hyenas, elephants, koodoos, And hundreds more- ’twouid take all day, My dear so man names ta say— And at the very, very end Os the processor:, by his friend And master, faithful J.rg was seen, The livelong time he’d helping been, To dtive thecrowdol creatures in; And now, with loud, exultant bark, He gaily sprang aboard the Ark. Alas! so crov.ded was the space He could not in it find a place; 80, patieutly he turned übcut Stood halt way in and half way out. And those extremely heavy show’rs Decended though uine hundred hours And more; and darling, at the close, Must frozen was his honest nose; And never could it loose again The dampness of that dreadful rain; Aud that is what, my curls oi gold, Made all the doggies’ noues cold ! [Baldwirit Monthly]. The King uud tire Farmer. Ki ng Eiederick, of Prussia, when he was out riding one duy, saw on old farmer who was ploughing in a field and singing cheerfully over his work. “You must be well off, old man,” cried the king. “Does this acie be long to you on which you so industri ously labor?” “No, sit;” replied the old man, who of course lad no idea that he was speaking to the king ; “I am not so rich as that, 1 plow for wages.” “How much do you earn a day?” asked the king. “Fight groschen,” returned the old man. Thai would be abogt twenty cents of our money. “That is very little,” said the king. “Can you get along with it?” “Get along! Yes, indeed, I have something left.” “How do you manage?” “Well,” said the farmer, raiding, “I wi 1 tell you. Two groschen are for myself and wife; with two I pav my old debts , two I lend and two I give away ior the Lota’s sake.” “This is a mystery which I cannot solve,” said the king. ‘.Then I must solve it for you,” re plied the farmer. “I have two old parents at In mo, who kept me and cared for me when I was young and weak, and needed caie. Now that they are old aud weak, I am glad to Keep aud care for them. This is my debt, aud it cost me two groschen a day to pay it. Two more I spend on my children’s schooling. If they are living when their mother mdlareold, they will keep us and pry back what I ltnd. Then with my last two gros chen 1 support my two sick sisters who cannot work for themselves. 0 1 course I am not compel ed to give them (he money} but I do it for the Lord’s sake. “\V e Ji done, ad man,” cried the king as hefiuished. "Nuwlau going to give you something to guess Have you ever steu me before? “No,” (.aid the farmer. “In less than five minuets you shall see me fifty times, and carry in your your pocket fifty of my likenesses." “This is indeed a riddle that I can not guess,” said the laruier. “Then I will solve it for you,’ re turned the king; and w ith that he pot his hand into his pocket, and pull ing out fifty gol d them in the hands ol the farmer. “The coin is genuine,” said the king, “for it also oomesifrmn our lord God, and lam his paymaster. I Hid you good-bye.” And be rode off leaving the old man overwhelmed with surpme end de light DAWSON, GEORG I V THURSDAY. APRIL 19, 1877 A Tlorlei'ii Hovel.' Vol. r. A winning wile, A sunny smile, A leather; A tiny talk, A pleasant walk Together. VOF. 11. A little doubt, A playful pout, Capricious! A meiry miss, A *t< len kiss, Delicious! vol. iti. You ask ma,.it» a, Consult pa 1 a, *' ith pleasure; And both repent, This rush event, At leasure. «'!iool Boy 011 Corn*. Corns are of two kinds—vegaialde and animal, X egetable corns grows iu rows, and animal corns grow s on toes. _ here are several kindsof Corps, there is the unicorn, the capricorn, corn dodggers, field corn, and thecorn, which is the corn you feel the most. It is said, I believe, that gophers like corn, bu perh-.ps those baviugcorus do not like to “go fur,” if they can help it C rns havecolonels, and colonels have coins. Vegetable corn grows Git the feet at the other end of the body. Another kind of corn is the acorn; these grow on caks, but there is no hoax about the com. The accrn is a corn with an indefinite article indeed. Try it and see. Many a man when he has corns wishes it was an acorn. Folks teat have corns, sometimes send for a doetc, and if sh« doc tot himself is corned, he probably went do as well as if he isti’t. The doctor says corns are produced by tight boots and shoes, which is probably the rea son why wber a man is liglitthey sliy he is corned. It a farmer manages wt 1) he can get a good deal of oorn on an acre, but I know a faimer that has one corn that makes the bigeet at her ou his farm. The 1 igger crop of vegetable thi't a man raises, the better be does not like it. Another kind of corn, i 8 the corn dodger. The way itismadeitis very simple, and as follows—that is if you want to know; You go along the streets and meet an old maid you know his a corn, and cross temper; then you step on the t< © that has a com on it and see if you don’t have occa sion to doge’er. In that w yyou will find out whet a corn dodger is. How Rice Mr on id be Cooked. Mr. F. B Tburbur of New York, writing from Japan to the American Grccer, gives the following account of the Japanese method of cooking rice: Kice here is worth froui $1.50 to §1.75 per picul if 133 pounds, or about one aud one eighth to one and three eight cents per pound. At first thought it seems as if there might be a profit to import it into the United States, hut .ur duty ol two aud one half cents per pound, together with freight, insurance and premium on gold, brihgs It up to a figuro where the>-e is no margin. They do know how to cook rice here, though, and for the benefit of grocers and consu mers in the United States, I iu.esti gated the matter. Only just enough cold water is poured on to prevent the rice from burning to the bottom of the pot, which has a close fitting cov-r, and with a moderate fire, the rice is steamed rat' er that! boiled until it is nearly done ; then the cover is taken off the surplus etoam and motsturo al lowed to scape, and the rice turns out a mass of snow-white ke r nels* each separat" i r»<tli the other, and as much superior to the soggy mass we usually get in the Unite;’ States as a fine, mealy potato is to the Water soaked aiticle. I have sesu some thing approaching this iu our South ern States, but I do not think even there they do it as skilfully ns it is done here, and in the Northern ’-tates but very lew poisons understand how to cmk rice properly. lam sure that if cooked as it is 1 ere, the consump tion of this wholesome aud delicious cereal would laigoiy increase in America. Mr Logan once told a story of the iutrepid hunter who secured a “tail holt” on an immense bear, and shortly aft-rward* was beard bellowing for help' “What do you waot he p for ?” inquired a comrade. “I want fio.no one to help me let go (his bear,” re i plied the stranger. Mr. Hayes evi ! dently wants someone to help him i let go Packard and Chamberlain— IV* World, SAJI IIOIIHTOt .4*o tIG II * TI. A President IVIIO Coiild’t Pay lor Ills Breakfast. On a recent trip to Houston I had fora tiaveling companion a well-known merchant of 'his city, who to and story after story of early days iu Texas. — One struck me as wort proservi: g “When my father fiistcame here,” said the merchant, “he settled in Houston—then tho capital of Texas I was put in a grocery and provision store under a very stiict aud parsi monious boss. One morning just as I had swept out, Tom, Gen. Houston’s body sen ant, came into the store. — Licking round he spied a line ham II rara avis in those days. Having ask ed the price, tie said he would take it arid the President would cm II around and pay for it I felt proud of my sale, and called the attention of the bus! to it as soon ns he came in. “Did you get the money,” he asked quickly. “No; hut President Houston is coming round to pay for it.” “President Houston—the devil.— Die. Tom say he would see it paid ?” “Then you are a fool. Now, sir, you go straight to the Pies dent’s kitchen and bring nie that ham, un less Tom ill say it shall be paid for.” I started off very much Crestfallen and not liking tho job before me.— But I resolutely walked into the Presi dent’s kitchen. Tom was there. I saw my ham lying there, with a few sli os cut off it, and seizing it, told T im, unless he would undertake to see that the money was paid, I must take it back. “Tom cogitated awhile, and then said; ‘Y.Ung matt, taka back your meat. The Gineral is a mighty good master, but a mighty poor paymaster, and I don’t kecr to invoWilate myself with his debts ?” “This was enough for me. I left with the ham in my hand. Going around to the gate 1 had to pass the front door. There stood Genera! Houston, the President of Texas, with a pocket handkerchief in one hand and a toothpick iu the other. ‘My little mau,’ says he, in his supeib manner, ‘tail your master 1 am under groat obligations lor a most delic'ous break fi ns', and would pay him, but 1 really haven’t got the money. The fact is, J'nung man, !exas is very poor and, as her President, I must share her poverty.”— New York Sun. .4 Sailor lad'* IKctipc from sharks. Captain Gunson, of the ship Dat terdale, relates a thfiiing story of the escape of one his ship’s l oy* from tho maw of a shark. The ship was in the tropics, wich wind enough to keep the canvas flopping,and o. e ol trie appr n tices was ovrr the weather side clean ing off. The Captah, standing on the poop deck, noticed the boy was care less, and warned hint to look out for himself and not tumble overboaid. — The ship was going about three knots an hour, aud (be sea almost as cairn as a mill pond. The lad, iu a uiu rueut of carelessness, lost his balance and tell from the platform slung over the tide. The Captain aaW the acci dent and threw him a ladder, which the boy grasps i and clambeied up the rounds ns the ship lefi him astern No s-oner had the boy set'led liini enlt on the ladder thau a brace of large blue sharLes ranged up along side, aud actually reared their heat's out of the water in their eagerness to taste the yimug sailor. The boy scieamec lustily and grew half fiantii from terror. The ship wue hove to and a boat Wes lowered. Still the boy bung on tho ladder, tiying to keep bis legs tree from the snapping of the Vicious shark.-, which seemed actually to jump out of the water to get at him. After tome twenty-five minutes of horrible suspense a boat was lowered and he got into it. As suun as the luj found himselt safe he fainted. It was a fearfully narrow escape.— Hrm Frandtco Mail. A Western chemist thought he could saw trees down by means of red hot wire. The wire broke, coiled arotmd Ills neck, snd he gallop)' and into a poud anJ out of the business. He held the oil shirt up by the neck before discarding it forever, but I e wasn’t mourning for the garment. He only said, “I wish I had all the d>inks again that have gone through that old ueck baud!” lllii< kbori«‘N it I’rofitnhu! Crop lot' Cieorjfits. Under this head, the Chrcnieh and Constitutionalist has the following on this subject: j Last year n portion of North Carc ! linn, and particularly about Salem. ! did a thriving business by shipping I dried blackberries to Chicago, a firm iu that city having offered fifteen cents per pounl for them ic any quantity. It cost one cent a pound to carry these berries from Salem to Chicago, and hence tho Salem mer chants could afford to nay tl 0 country people from soven to twelvo cents a pound for them. Tho little town of Salem, with scarcely over 2.000 in habitants, shipped during three years over three millions of pounds of dried blackberries, for which it received §450.000, or nearly’half a million dol lars, equal to nine thousand bales of cotton at ten cents per pond. The crop is, of course, abundant— almost infiuito. The old fblds litera 1 - ly swarm with tho busy pickers du ring the season. Frequently whole families turn out at eatly dawn and pick blackberries till dark. A bushel of berries will yield twelve pounds of diied fruit. At 15 cents per pound, this will make the fruit worth §I.BO a bushel. It is estimated that it costs two cents per pound to dry the fruit. It is dried in the simplest manner, be ing simply spread out cn boards pud left in the sun. The smallest child in the family can watch the berries as they are drying, and carry them through tho whole process. Dedust for the gross cost on" cent per pound fur freights, two ceuts for drying, and say two oeßts for the merchant’s prof its, and we have the net revenue of a bushel of borribs to the picker, fixed at §1.20. A child can easily pick a bushel a (lay. A laborer with five or six children, or a widow with a lot of h -irns, will find it a perfect God send to have them each bring in a revenue ts *1 20 a day. The merchants in Salem had unlim ited orders for the berries, and could have sold ten times the quantity they were able to pr cure. The berries aie used for pies, for eating and lor distilling purposes. Tney are expor ted regulurly to Europe; and especitl ly to Geimany, where they are consid ered a great luxury. This trade gave employment to a laige number of people in North Carolina during the season last year. Men, women and childien support themselVes by it. The section about Augusta is fam ous for i’s blackberries and we see no reason why the trade could not be made as profitable here as in North Carolina. I»i a(li «>f Clio Largest Hun in Ohio. Those who have attended the con ventions held aunually nt Put-iU-Bay by the Fat Mbit’s Association cannot fail to remember, among the members of thut socie’y, John Templeton, the h avy weight cf the asss'tciation, who* we regret to 9ay, has just died at his home near Swauton, Fulton coun ty. Mr. Templeton was the largest man in Ohio, bis weight being 505 pounds. lie was President of (h« Ohio Fut Men’s Association, and had many warm personal friends among the liiembeis of the organization in this State and similar societies in adjoining States. We w»iepersonally acquainted w ith him, and that his loss will be keenly felt by m.itiy of the jolly heavy men who aunually do congregate at Put-in-bay. At the c nventions held ut that island by the Fat Men, Mr. Templeton was the cenfbr of attraction. Our own genial O’Hagan’s monster “fat man’s Valise,” which is about the sir.o of a cottage at the seaside, would liavo been a’, most too small for a tobacco box f r Templeton. The tioW d9ad Piesident of the association was so adipose that it was with difficulty that he could walk. There was certainly a very striking contrast between him and hia wifi*, who survives him and wrio only weighs about ninety pounds. Those who remember seeing Mr. Templeton entering or leaving the convention room a: the Pul-in-llay House during the sessions of the association, leaning upon the arm of his little wile, will not soon forget the merriment provo ktd by the couple, who enjoyed trie Inn *s much as did tho spectators.— Samlutkij llegiet#r. “What branch of education do yon have chiefly in your school?” “A wil low branch, sir; tlie master has used up almost a whole tree.” Ca’ifornl.ipanbirsn >wcravr! into hol low o> 8 t<> escap • die pursu’t of Cali fornia girls. Where can California men goi A BLACK F 4 KAIL An olitnige him! 11 prompt pail i Hnii‘lll l.yiif li Lau tu Lafourrliu Tein iDACjt, April 7—On Thursday last, about mid lay, two liitle girls one a daughter arid the other n niece of Mr. Felix Fa'gout, a respectable citizen of this parish and a raiher prominent member of the re(ublican party were amusing themselves by fishing in the canal which runs along the track of Morgan’s Riilroad, at about one milo east tis the L fourche crossing. While thtls engaged, a colored mtr, a giant in size and strength, came along the track arid accosted them.— After a few cusual questions asked Ly the mail and replied to by tho chil dren, the brute suddenly threw him self upon the eld ret girl, lhe daughter of Falgout, who is not yet thirteen years of age, and hy force accom plished her ruin An n's ni was at once sounded, and after an exciting chase of several miles, in which both races joined with equal s; iris, the monster was arrested and lodged iu prison. A preliminary examina'iun was regularly held on Thursday bsh le our parish Judge { and all of the facts of the revolting case were developed. Tin evidence was damning ai.d left no douhta in the mian of any as to the ques’ion of guilt. Indeed, such evidence was not needed, as tie man made no attempt to coucoul bis crime, but confessed openly ar.d repeatedly that be was guilty, and with a hellish effrontery seemed rather to boast of the exploit, ami threatened to repeat the offense. When rec..niuiit‘ed to prison he boldly stated his intention to escape aud wreak summary ven geance upon his captors In a word) the rcckiess villainy of the man Was almost incredible. It will net be thought stange, therefore under the state of facts that nur usua’ly quiet and orderly community became exci ted, or that such excitement should culminate* as it has just done, ii tho denth of the wretch at the hands of Judge Lynch. Last night, about midnight, alargo cicwd of persons of both races entered the town and went to tliejiil, an'! by moans of sledge hammers tho doors were buist open, and within a few minutes the man, was dangling at the end of a conV meat rope. The act was that of b 111 blacks and whicef, Republicans and Democrats indiscrim inately. The father of the child was a Republican iu politics.— N. O. J)m.c crut. An Aialmiiiti Jury’s Astonish ing Verdict. A jury in Alabama had teen im paneled in lhe rase of a Air. John son charged with ki ling his Wife.— The evidence whs positive and conclu sive leading no doubt "f Lis speedy conviction. To the amazement of all, the jury, after n short absi nee, return ed a verdict: “Guilty of horse Steal ing.” The Judge astonished, asked an exp!unati rrt, stating that the indict ment was not for horse stealing, but manslaughter. The foreman with Ins hand upon a huge law book, ad with an amusingly dignified air, informed the court that “it was not a c»se of manslaughter, but for woman slaugh ter, for which the law made no prvis ron ; hut being satisfi -d the man de served to he barged, thej tiad brought in a verdict of horse stealing which in that country, would be suro swing to him.” A Comedy of I'riors. There was a curious comedy of er rors that cnnio noar being a tragedy at 8..n Francisco recently. A sailor returned from sea and found bis young wile fondling a baby. With out giving hes a change to say that the child was a ne’gbor’s he knocked her down and then tried to throw her from the window. A crowd gatli eisil below, and the man stabbed bis wife in tho back, jumped from tbe window, and escaped tmliuit. But sumo of the Ctowd bad ehtfcrrd the house, and; going to the wrong room, awoke a s'e. per, who emptied his re volver on them, hut was dragged to tbe street and was just being hanged to a lain; -post* when the 11 intake Was ascertained, though not before a rib or two was broken by tbe mob. The woman was not much hurt, and is anxious to have her litisbnud find bis mistake and teturn. Why ti/r Votk was Lara*.-A Washington telegram relates that at in ioteiview between Hayes and Hampton die former called the latter’s attention to the Very largo l)em< cmtic vote in Edgefield County, as compared with forniot years, and sail to the Governor: “This is hardly to be ac counted tor by an inciease of popula tion,” and asked him how he could account lor it. Hampton replied: “You forget, sir, that at ten po ling places in Uis county a latgb number of soldiers wero stationed, and I un derstood that they all voted for me ” This amused Mi, Hayes, who laugh ed very heartily and said : “Well, it the soldiers have i ot to going for you it ought lose’tie the case.” A boy camo down Lin wool Avenue on the rush, a few nights since and, iti an excited manner said that there Were a lot of lights in the Jewish liuiinl giound. Half a dozen scien- tific men, four loaters and a dog star ted tdf to geo them. The graveyard tf*s as dark as such places usually are. “Where are the lights?” naked a big man of the boy. Toe youngster ba' ktd off to a safe distance and yolletl out: “Uudtfrgtoi.il 1; tmy are Is.es' ites ” Vol. XH.--NO. n. FIIF*. We often hoar of a man beingin ad ■ Vince of his age, ut who ever heard of a woman buing it! such a predica ! ment? A youthful granger nboht td be | chastized by his father the othei day, called for his giaudfather to ptotect j him from tho middleman. I Funset Cox l.aa a way of stnilling ! ai an audience that makes everybody wonder if hedoesu’t have star w her res and cream the year round. A mao in Oswego reccebtly had on© hundred and twenty-five pounds of Warts taken off his hands. A yourg mau named Wiight mariied her. The Rochester fltmocrut remarks that “it is not inspiring to hear the man against tho lamp-post remark ‘Peace’neartli, g’wil! torner. —whoop !’ Josh Billings says l e knows people who are so lond of argument they will stop and “dispute with a guide-board about the distance to the next town.” While a man was singing the other day, “There’s a Good Time Coming,” another man arose anl said, “Would you kindly fix the exact date?” A St. Louis grocer had a pound of sugar leturned vtith a note stating:— “Too much sand for table use, and not eii.ugti far building purposes.” A conespondent writes askingfor a “remedy far ah apple-troo worm.”— llow can wo prescribe until we know wl at is the matter with the worm?-- Ifoi'on Advertiser. A Kentucky editof remarks that ninety-nine out a hundred people make a g-eat mistake when they cut off a dog’s tail, iu throwing away the wrong end. An Irish gentleman, hearing of a fiieml having a stone coffin made for himself, exclaimed: “By mo sowl, and that’s a good idee! Shure a s’ona coffin ’ud last a train a lifetime. A correspondent out in the suburb wantr to know “the bast *ay to make a hot bed.” If Jam are a married mat), crawl into bed rather late, with y.mr boi t') on. A belated citi* n, from whom a p liceman was trying to re-cue a lamp post a lew mornings ago, violently resisted tho endeavor, exclaiming: “Jumi me ’lone; I’m (hie) lioid’u tli’ fort.” Claira Morris rode a vpry wild mu ; tang tlio other (lay, and fairly con quered him “I know all about ri lling,” she said, to begin with. “Yi.u must first mount and then you mus statig on.” A colonial farmer, who lost a sheep advertises thus:—“Lost otstrade from me .a aliepe 1.11 over with oue leg was blank and it had a black head. All shall receice a reward of five dollars to bring to me. lie was a she goat.”. “What we want is new men ai.d new measures,” Said a politician to art darkoy. “Yes, (lai’s §O, boss,” said the ancient Airican; “de grocery inerf doesn’t gib us '.ut ’bout uiue quarts to do peck, and I’eo gwine iff for do new measures, you be* 1” A Wisconsin editor iilustratss she preveitiag extravagante of the peo ple of the present day by calling at tention to the costly baby carriages in use now, while, when he was a baby, they hauled him around by the hair of the head. “A man named Hell died recently in Brit Lake City.” Brother Biigham and tho other Mormon leaders do not mourn for him v* ty much, striving, as they do, to find consolation in the thought that,- although Hell cannot come back to them, yM they shall all go to Ilell. Said a uistinguised politician to bis son : '“Look on ine! I began as an Al •*e. men, a .and here 1 am at tho top of the tree; and what, is my reward? Why, when 1 die, my son wi I be the greatest raseain theii y.” To this the yo ing hopeful replied :--“Ye', dad, w him you die—but not till then. ’ A darkey who had been asleep on the rea- platform of a train of cars that came into the depot a few days evenings since, fell otf as the train stopped. He struck on the top of hia heed rn the ground, and g tting up he gently remarked, “Well, what’s de trouble now?” l’icnies ara a great institution.— Nothing else so relieves the bfain aud lefieslns and invigora’es a fellow a* a day’s picnicking in the sylvan dell*,’ amid red-hot Urn r.adfr, babbling brooks, nature’s smiles, rancid sardines, ti.tilling flirtations,and all that makes the heart stand on cue leg and whoop. But it is death on white pantaloons As that old blind Mexican was gro:ping Ids way past one ot our sa loons this morning, a practical hum orist punched hint in the back with a cane. The backhaned lick the o'd fellow suddon'y let fly with Iris • ick struck thiee majors and two colonels,< and it it had been three inches longer it woo'd have Clipped two professois and n dog. “Salt” was tho subj, et of the speech of a solemn anil spare-faced clergy man befme a Sunday school, on an anniversary occasion, the text being,’ “Ye are the salt of the earth.” lie i xplaineil to the youthful hearers tha presetvitive qualities of salt, and es pecially its power to keup eatables fumi decaying Then he told (hem how Ghtistiaus and especially minis ters, were of advantages to the world as a polity ing influence against the corruption of modem society. Then lie asked a lew questions. To ‘what are miuisters suseful in this World? i A lively yi ungfiter gne the ready siis >t>r, “To keep » ill S .101* *pll*