Newspaper Page Text
the mercury.
PUBLISHED EYEBY TUESDAY
1 NOTICE.
^AU eommunicatloni Intended tar thli
p »p«r nut bs sooompanled with ths fall
th# writer, not necessarily (tor publl-
w tton. bat m a guarantee of good fatlh.
yft ore In no way reaponitblo Mr tho views
tr opinion* of eorraapondant*.
A. J. JERNIGAN, Proprietor.
DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, AGRICULTURE AND GENERAL INTELLIGENCE.
$1.50 per Annum
VOLUME IV
SAN DELS V1LLE, GA., TUESDAY, JANUARY 2!), 1881.
RICHARD I. HARRIS,
Attorney at Law,
SANDEB8VLLE, GA.
Will prsitice in all tho court* of the
middle circuit, and in the counties- sur
rounding W shington Special atten
tion given to commercial law.
NUMBER41.
Sandersvllle, Washington CoiEty, Sn*
■ • 1
-I:
A. J.
BHb*CTtptlon-...„..J..,.„ JU per Tsar
£ S. LANGMADE,
Attorney at Law,
SANDERSVILLE, GA.
mayor]
0. H. ROGERS,
CLEEK A 2Jt LA S EEEE.
D. E. B, WELLS.
MAESJBALL.
J. E. WEDDON.
ALDEJtMEjy,
W. H, LAWSON.
Wu. RAWLINGS,
8. G. LANG.
A. M. MAYO,
M. H. BOYER.
2own of lennilte.
Mayor—John C. Ilnrman.
Aldermen - W P. Davis, J. W,
Smith, P. J. Pipkin, T. J. Beck.
Clerk—S. H B Massey.
Marshall—J, C. Hamilton.
B. D. IVANS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
BandstsvUlo, Os.
April I, MR.
0- 0- BROWN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Bandarsrlll#, Qt, a
Will practice la Uie State and United States
Courte. Offloe In Court-house.
Watches, Clocks
And JEWELRY
REPAIRS* NT
JERNICAIT.
Dr. H. B. Hollifield,
nnmi iio sheqeoi,
Having recently graduated at tbe Unlver-
•Ity of Mm-ylanu and returned home, now
offer, hi. proleMlonal services to the cltlaen.
ot Snudenvllle and vlalnlty. Office with
Dr, H. N Hollifield, next door to(Mr8. Baths’*
millinery .tore.
H. N HOLLIFIELD,
Physician and Surgeon,
BanderrvUle, Oa
Offloe next door to Mrs. Bayne’s xolUlaery
•tore on Harris street.
MUSIC, MUSIC
GO TO—
JERNIGAN
Ull'lD,
Bows, Strings,
Rosin Boxes, Etc-
BUY YOLll
FROM
JERNICAtt,
g#n * genuine wlthont onr Trade Mark
On hand and for sals.
BPEUTAUU™, nose GLASSES, etc.
Machine Needles,
Oil and Shuttles,
FO linf KINDS OF MACHINES, for sal#.
• 4 ,i 1 .. Rl8 ° order part# of Mnohlnea
tnatget broken, for which new
pieces are wanted.
J. JEHNIGAN.
E. X. Hiwag.
O. H. Rosin
HINES & ROGERS,
Attorneys at Law,
SANDERSVILLE, GA.,
JefferS^® r°? ln * he “unties of Washington,
AndlnnlfSl'W?* Emanuel and Wilkinson,
trlotof Georgia^ C0UrUl f ° r th# a ° ath * rs “*■
^V^ASSSJ* 1 ln buylngi MUU,g "
0ctu-u Ou ^ Mt * w * of PabUo Square.
i W1T0KUL NUTS* *]
Tt is probahlo that tho pay-car system
will soon bo abolished upon most of tho
principal railways of tho Country. A
ew years ago the paymasters began to
take out checks for a groat many of iho
principal employes in order to avoid tho
risk of carrying such largo sums of
money, and tho plan has worked so well
that now tho chock aystem will entirely
supercede Ote other,
m
Thr subscriptions to tho Fartholdi
pedestal fund now nmounls to $126,000,
about half of tho entire amount required,
People do not seem to roalise tho grand
proportions ol thts statue and pedestal.
It ia over throe hundred foot high, fifty
loet higher than Trinity stooplo. It ia
seventy feot square at tho point whore
tho masonry begins. As this mammoth
statuo is a gift from France, and as* tho
United States government has appro
priated liadloe's if lan 1 for its location, it
is a matter of surpri ,o that tho $250,000
required from tho po iplo for tho j edestal
should be so long delayed.
TnE Statistician of tbo Department of
Agriculture has just iasuod his ostimato
of tho principal crops in tho yoar 1888.
W# publish tliogo estimates below, an
nexing a column of tho corresponding
crops in ] 882:
1883. 1882.
Corn, bushel. 1,651,008,835 1,024,011,600
Whoat, bushels 420,154,TOO 502,789.000
Oats, bushels 671,233,000 490,000,000
Cotton, halo* 0,014,220 0,057,000
Tho production of whoat in Europe iu
1883 is stated at 1,066,088,688 bushels,
against 1,270,167,160 bushels iu 1882, tho
avorago yiold being oatimatod at 1,143,
826,044 bushels,
Thb Alaska seal business is a big thing,
and tho seals themselves afford material
for an interesting study, A nu 1 > seal
selects about twonty-five females for his
family circle, and spends most of his
time loafing on tho sunny sido of a rock
watching his harem. He is a jealous
fellow, allows no gadding, and if a female
attempts to go away, he catches her neuk
between his teeth aud boats her with his
flippers. If ho sees a young fellow
making up to one of his wives be pun
ishes him sometimes to tho death. The
killing of souls lasts about two month,
in the summer. Tho old male seal, their
harems and the young seals are never
killed, and under this policy tho seal pro
duct grows larger overy year. Tho na
tives get 49 cents for each skin, and tho
United States government gets $2 apiece
for them from tho Alaska Commercial
Company, which also pays $60,000 an
nually for the privilege.
Thb bills already introduced in the
House during the present session would,
if passed, absorb all the surplus revenue
of the government for years to come
Tho bills and tho amounts thoy call for
may be summed up as follows: Public
buildings and grounds, $12,000,000 ; river
and harbor improvements, $6,000,000;
public education, $105,000,000 ; new bu
reaus, commissions, etc., $1,000,000;
soldier s homo in Kansas, $200,000;
equalizing bounties, $100,000,000; pCn-
siona, $176,000,000; prize money, etc.,
$368,644; deserters, nurses, etc., $2,250,-
000; half pay for revolutionary officers,
$26,000,000; depredations and spolia
tions, 410,000,000; private bills, #25,-
000,000; State claims, $60,000,000; draw
backs. rebates, etc., $3,075,549 ; miscel
laneous items, $6,000,000 ; to al, $500,-
790,194.
A wxu, posted writer in the Southern
Lumberman says that the yellow pine of
Georgia is worth as it stands fully $700,-
000,000. Tho turpentine business is rap
idly wasting this valuable timber. Mil
lions of acres hav - been thus destroyed.
After the turpentine men abandon the
timber large quantities of it burn down,
blow down and die before it can bo
reached by tho sawmill men. It is ar
gued that tho yellow pine forests of tho
South will last at the present rate, of
production 150 years, but the writer
above quoted thinks that tho timber
available for sawmill purposes will ho
cut short fully one-third by tho devasta
tions of the turpentine men. The lum
ber business is really in its infancy. In
six or eight years it is safe t» predict
that the yellow pine lumber product of
the South will be 6,000,000,(.00 feet a
year. 'I he present long depression will
bo followed by higher prices. During
the war yellow pine sold at the North
for $6) and $80 per thousand. In twenty,
five o thirty years tho same figures may
be reached again.
Thr preparations for the coming
world’s fair in New Orleans arc progress
ing satisfactorily. The ■ exposition will
consist of cotton in «U its conditions of
culture and manufui tnr ■ as a chief ex
hibit. The. classification of objects ex
hibited will comprise such groups as
agriculture, horticu ture, raw and manu
factured products, ores, minerals and
wood., furniture and accessories, textile
fabrics, clothing and accessories, indus
t ial arts, alimentary products, education,
and instruction, works of art, piscicul
ture The exposition will bo under the
control of aboard of thirteen oommis,
sioners-appointei by the President.of the
United Stated, fttid a directoi-general ap
pointed by the board of management.
The building will bo in the city park,
and will cover the largest amount ol
space over devoted to BUck a purpose,
with the dingle exception, • perhaps of
tho World’s Fait, of London, the build
ing will have thitio fronts, a main front
of 1,600 feet facing the city proper, one
sido of 900 feet facing the Mississippi
river, and the other of the same length
looking towards 8k Charles street. The
rear of the building will face Carrollton
and will be given up to boilers, railroad
tracks, etc. Architoctually the building
will greatly resemble tho Louvre of Paris.
Tho floor spoco will bo 1,898,300 squaHS
feot, of which 1,048,762 feet Will be
used fof exhibition piltposes. The dome,
entrances, hal s, offices, corridors, etc.,
will be on a magnificent bcuIo, arranged
with an eye to both business and beauty.
Exhibitors will pay no rent foi- Apace ; a
reasonable entrance feo being nil that
will bo required. Assurances rocoivod
from all the States, aud from foreign
governments, justify tho belief that the
exposition will be the largest and best
attondod of any ever he d In this country.
IN a gohcral article on the different
ftind.of cotton in the wotld, tho boston
Commercial bulletin states tho highest
priced articlo is the sea island cotton
grown principally on tho coasts of Geor
gia and Florida. It combinos great
length of staple with silkiuess, beautiful
gloss, and general excellence. Some parts
of Australia and i.’and. in the Pacillo
ocean are now competing seriously with
Goorgla In tho production of long- tnpled
cotton, though the entire crop of sba is
land cotton iB comparatively unimport
ant, amounting to .ess than 40.060 bales
for the whole United Staton, against
nearly 7,000,000 bales of our common
short staple cotton.
The average length of the various de
scriptions of cotton known to the world
aro given by Mr. Evan Loigh, of Man
chester, England, os follows:
Inches in Length.
Sea Island,turn;.. 1.60 to 2.20
Australian' 1 80
ILyi’tLn 1.50
Brazilian 1.16 to 1.35
Surinam and Peru 1.30
8t. Kitts, West Indies 1 30
Southern and Western Africa .00 to 1.20
Borneo and Java >..,....1.10 to 1 20
CUrat, Fust Indies 1.05 to 1.10
Other Indlin,... 65 lo 1.10
Now Orleans, 110
American uplands 05 lo 1.00
Amcricnn cotton, of which the two
elusses of New Orleans and uplands aro
referred to in tho above table, is the
most useful aud best known of all tbe
cottons, owing to tho immense quantity
produced, amounting for tho year ondiug
September 1, 1883, to 6,992,234 bales.
Egyptian cutto.i, says the Bulletin,
ranks uoxt to sea is and in length and
fineness of staple as well ns in silkiness,
but has not the bright color of the latter
variety. The sea island octton has been
spun into cotton ns fine as No. 300, wbilo
the Egyptian is not spnn abovo 160.
Some hiiutil quantities of cotton are
grown in Algiers, and aro s milar as
Egyptian in quality.
There a o many varieties of South
American cotton, the most common be
ing the Brazilian and Su inam referred
to in tho above table. But tho e cottons
are harsh and irreg lur in quality, and
much coarser than sea island or Egypt
ian. The cotton of 8t. Kitts and other
West Indian islands is much finer than
the Brazi ian, and is useful for mixing
with Bea island for fino spinning. The
quantity of cotton grown in the West
India islands, however, is small.
Lidia ranks next to tho United States
in the quantity of cotton produced, and,
was one of the centers of the cotton man
ufacture for ages before the culture ot
tho cotton plant in America had been
dreamed of.
The best cotton grown in southern Af
rica is the Port Natal, averaging about
1.20 inches in length. On tho west coast
ore produced tho Lagos aud Loando va
rieties, ranging from nine-tenths of an
inch in length. The Sarawak cotton of
Borneo is about an inch nnd one-fifth in
length, and Java cotton is a trifle short
er. Tho cotton which is grown in China
is of exc edingly short staple. Some
small quantities and irrogular grades of
cotton are grown in the Ottoman empire
aud in Italy.
GENERAL NEWS.
The Modocs now number twenty-six
families of 106 persons. Tine govern
ment furnishes implements, supplies and
an instructor in agriculture and they are
fast becoming farmers.
A petroleum well lately sunk in the
Baku district of Russia promises to sur
pass the most famous “gushers” of this
country. It is said to be yielding from
7,000 to 8,0fi0 barrels a day.
Professor Huxlhf says that in his
voyage around the world he found no
people so miserable, wretched and de
graded as those who exist in tbo poorer
quarters of London.
Mrs. Mebklkham, Jefferson’s favorite
nnd only surviving daughter, who livos
at Georgetown iu utter destitution, was
70 years old Thursday, and Congressman
Potter Sent hot $250 ss a present and
said that if Congress didn’t take care of
her fob lifb lit) Woliltl
Tho production of syrup in South
Geergia, owing to tho killing of 'the canb
by frot ts, will be Shorter than for several
years. Stubble was the only hope foe
seed, and this has boon killed by the late
frosts, which will extend tho shortness
into next year’s crop, owing to the lack
of seed.
TnR coldest day in the history ot
Mott goittbry, Alabntnii, was tiib 3(1 diiy
ot Fotiriiary, i836, forty-eight years ago,
when the thermometer froze down to
zero, a point which it has never since
touched. Tho driver of a stage froth
Selma to Moiltgotnterjr waj frozen on the
box of his coach.
No pnssnngor riding in a passenger
trnin was killed last year in Massachu
setts except from his own fault. A*
there were over 61,0o0,0ot) paSsdngert
cftMed iih aVokage distance of 15 miles
each, this is a remarkable record. Gno
passenger was killed tipoh a freight
train, hdibre he was riding contrary to
ruin.
The balance of trade for the year 1888
is more than $l0b,thl0,0t)t) in our favor,
since the United States tent abroad pro
duce and merchandise worth #813.166.-
133, receiving from foreign ports ship
ments worth $720,762 827. New York
City receives about two-thirds of all the
imports find dispatches about 46 percent
of all the rest.
Mb. JtiliN SmliLET, one of tho largest
landowners in Australia, has just pur
chased from the Southern Pacific ruilrood
all tho camels used by that company in
carrying goods and freight across the
deserts of Arizona. There aro about 600
animals now living. Mr. Shirley intends
shipping them to Australia, whore he
will use them for carrying purposes on
his cattlb ranches.
Advices from Mobile say the late cold
snap caused immense damage in that
section. The loss to orange groves is es
timated at nearly $1,001,000, and the
value of tho vegetables k lied in Mobile
groves in Florida, but many orange
growers profited by the signal servieb
Warning and built fires in their groves,
a< d thus saved their trees.
The now postofflee nt Atlanta, Geor
gia, cost $276,000. Offices in other cities
cost os follows, the cost of tho site not
being included; Cairo, Illinois, $285,000 ;
Des Moines, Iowa, $230,000 ; Fall River,
Massachusetts, $862,000; Hartford,
Connecticut, $438,000, a city of much
less population than Detroit; Indianapo
lis, $370,000; Knoxville, Tennessee,
$389,000; Madison, Wisconsin, $344,000 ;
Mobile, $534,000 ; Nashville, $405,000 ;
Raleigh, North Carolina, $344,000; St.
Paul, $445,000.
It is estimated that 20,000 rabbits
have been sold in Nashville during tho
presont winter. Between $4,000 ' and
$5,000 must lmvo been realized from tho
salo of these animals from tho opening
of the season t.o the present time. A
number of hunters make a regular busi
ness of supplying Nashville with rabbit
moat. They have dogs trained for the
purpose, and manage to capture a good
many rabbits in a day. Sometimes a
single shot will k 11 a rabbit, no matter
how small tho shot or whore it strikes
the animal.
The late news from Egypt is impor
tant Virtually there is no longer an
Egyptian Government although there
are nominally an E yptian Khedive and
Premier. The decisive step taken by
the English Ministry, nastenea oy tne
patent schemes of the French, settles
henceforth the British policy with refer
ence to this country. By ordering the
abandonment of Khartoum and the
Soud n, I#i gland now takes on herse f
the defense i f lower Egypt, aud, at the
same time, assumes its government. An
nexation is practically inevitable soonei
or later
A Happy Moment.
LIFE AMONG THE COWBOYS.
VEHY HXCITINU IM'KNH* AT A DANCB
IN AN IDAHO TOWN*
One IWnn (Shot Drml unit t’nffr TVeuSijeS—
bnlllii* lljillrt* Thrniigli llio Duns tldt-i
SI
Nlnrillna iOxiiHTeuei- ofn HtrmiKi'r who
Old Not Know ihe Oblt-CtUihol Nils Hats.
“One of the memorial moments of my
rife,” says Mrs. Alcott, “is that in which,
os I trudged to school on a wintry day,
my eyes fell upon a large yellow poster
with those delicious words:
“‘Bertha,’a new.tale by the author
of ‘The Rival Prima Donnas,’ will ap
pear on Saturday.’
“I was late ; it was bitter cold; people
jostled me; I was mortally afraid I
should be recognized ; but thero I stood,
feasting my eyes on the fascinating
poster, and saying proudly to myself, in
the words of the great Vincent
Crummies, ‘This, this, is fame !’ That
day my pupils had an indulgent tencher;
for, while they were struggling with
their pOt-hooks, I was writing immortal
works, and when they droned out tluyr
multiplication table, I was counting out
tho noble fortune my pen was to earn
for me in tho dim, delightful future.
That afternoon iny sisters made a pil
grimage to behold the famous placard,
and, finding it torn by the wind, boldly
stole it, and came home to wave it like
a triumphal banner in the bosom of the
excited family. The tattered paper still
exists, folded away with other relics of
those early, days, so hard and yet so
sweet, when the first small victories
wore won, and tho enthusiasm of youth
lent romauoe to life’s drudgery.”
The cowboys had a dance here ilie
other night, says an Idaho letter, and
the survivors have been nrountl to-day
making a mental list of tbe casualties.
As cowboy dances go, the carnage was
not great, only one man being killed
and lour wounded. Tho dead man lias
already bdoil buried, and the wounded
are all doing os Well as could beeipedted.
olid bcfdre thrtny days have passed will
bo around ns full tif lifo (bid innocent
sport as everi
The preparations for a cowboy dnnoo
aro, nB a rule, quite as interesting and
fully ns dangerous tb life rtnd limb as tbe
danoe itself, and lot 1 that renidit it tdaj$
bo well to describe some of the incidents
of tho day preceding the opening soiree
of tho season. Tho boys gathered early
in tbo day, nnd mndo several raids on
tho dispensers of bugle paint. Things
went .smoothly enough Until about the
middle of tub aftetnootl, tynuii 11 ttathl-
iug man arrived in town. Some of the
old heads expected trouble the mintlte
he appeared; fur the boy* wtere iu A
humorous mood, and ready for any son
of fuu. The traveling man went to the
tavern and did not show himself again
until about 0 o'clock, whon he was spied
walking uoikli tile street wearing n silk
lint. Cold bhills ran up the bncks ill
the ancient citizens, and the tavern
keeper, with u view to save the man’s
life, started after him to give him the
word, hut before he could overtnke the
stranger eight or ten of the boys had
seen him nhd Were following him dogged
ly down tho street in single file. The
hiah With tile 8i)k hat may have noticed
tho procession, but if is probable that
he hnd ttO idea of its significance. HO
stopped iil a little storo for a few min
utes, and while ho tarried there the
crowd on the outside increased. When
lie cmerf;od once more the boys fell into
line behind him again in ahigle file and
resumed their march; gathering recruits
at almost every step, until finally there
were twenty or thirty of the gang iu the
prooessiou. By this time the stranger
began to understand that something Was
the inattet either With him or with the
town, and he darted into a little jOWelry
store, pretending that he wanted to sot
his watch. The boys came to a halt on
the sidewalk and fuced (lie store. Tho
jeweler, whose stock consisted princi
pally of revolvers and other shooting
irons, looked inquisitively at his caller
nnd then at the throng ln front, Think
ing it n good opportunity to say some
thing, tne traveling mail observed:
“You have d nice town hero, but can
you tell mo why those men aro following
mo around?”
“I can,” said the storekeeper laconi
cally; “they’re aftor that hat.”
“What hat ?”
“That plug. Thoy don’t allow ’em
nere, sir. Never been here before?”
“Never,” gasped the man,
“Well, now, look here,” said tho jew
eler. “Tho boys are a little full of fun
to-day, and they might make things un
comfortable for j’ou. I’ll just escort
you up to tbo hotel and introduce you
to some of them as my fnend. Then
you put that hat away and don’t wear it
any more.”
Thanking the jeweler, the stranger
walked out arm-in-arm with him, tho
boys falling in behind and following
them to the hotel. On entering the
burroom the jeweler called one of the
hoys to one side aud said: “This is Mr.
B , a friend of mine from tho States. ”
Tho “boy” seized liim by the hand with
a grip that brought tears to his eyes,
aud said:
“I’ll take turpentine.”
Others crowded lip and were intro
duced, eaoh one smiling a sickly sort of
smile, but looking uuforgivingly at the
hat. All agreed that they would have
to have something, and quietly urged
the stranger toward tho bar, on which
lhe innkeeper hod placed the bottle and
glasses the minute the first speaker had
“nominated his medicine.” When once
they were arranged in front of the bar,
wilh glasses in hand, the hat suddenly
slipped from the head of its wearer, as
sisted by a cowboy in tbe rear, and in
iess time than it takeB to tell it, a ring
was formed urouud the offending article
and a score of revolvers- were blazing
away at it. The terrified traveler
stepped to one side with his new found
friend, and was met with tho comfort
ing remark:
“It's a mighty good thing for you that
you got onto me, for in ten minutes
more those chaps would have been firing
at that hat on your head. They wouldn’t
linve taken the trouble to kuoek it off.
They would have shot it off, and yon
would have been lucky if you had es
caped with a whole skull, for some of
tho boys are wild in their shooting.”
While the boys were still holding high
carnival over their drinks and the hat a
hard-looking customer, whom few in the
crowd appeared to know, came in, and,
elbowing his way up to the bar, seized
tho bottle and took a loug pull from ifs
nozzle, disdaining to use a gloss. One
of the boys made a profane remark to
the effect that the newcomer was a hog
from Hogsville and teetotally unfit to
associate with gentlemen. Quicker than
a flash tne man known as Bobe Wil
liams, had his self-cocking revolver
raised and ready for business.
“Take that back I” he roared to the
cowboy who had insulted him.
“Never I” said the latter with
oaib
Interest in the proceedings was reviv
ing. The rest of the boys stood around,
their faces revealing the enthusiasm
which they felt.
Williams was verv much in earnest.
With finger on trigger he yelled : "I’ll
give you one minute to take that back.”
The cowboy stood with folded arms, un
moved, his gray eyes fixed on his
enemy. There was a huge revolver in
his belt, but a movement Of the hand to
ward the weapon meant death.
“I am not afraid of you,” he said,
“You can’t kill me without killing your
self at the same time.”
“How’s that ?” asked Williams.
“Because there’s a man behind you
who has got the drop on jotr, and
when—”
Before the cowboy finished the sen
tence Williams bad turned qulokly on
his imaginary foo in the rear, and with
a movement like lightning tue cowboy
had bis revolver ih hand and was firing
lead into Williams in a way that seemed
vory wasteful to say tho least, for tho
first shot pierced his train and must
have killed him iustnntly. No idea of
the rabidity with which tkiB was done
can be given in liny mere narration of
the fact. It was done and trVcr with Hko
a flash, and ns the boys ranged theinselros
alongside the bar onoe more, the dead
man lying at their feet, there was a gen
eral inquiry if any more men were pres
ont who wanted to drink from the bottle.
Women its Bledmboat Uaptalns.
Ilotaea G* eley used to say to Mar
garet Fuller, “Let women be sea enp-
tnins if they will,” but tho United States
Government refuses to allow thorn to
oommahd stenmhonts on the Mississippi
river. MfS. Mary Miller, of New Or
leans, applied for a license to be master
of a steamboat on that strenm, iihd tho
Government denied lior application on
appeal from tho adverse decision of tho
local authority, on the ground that
Womoh ate not such persons as nro con
templated by the law regulating such
licenses. Mrs. Miller is the wife of
Oaptaiu Georgo Miller, whoowns a light
draught steitmboSt, wilh which the
family trade up and dotVn the Mississippi
river and its tributaries.
Tho captain iB sovonty years of age,
and decrepit, and his wife, who is more
than ttf8int yeats younger, and a pretty
daughter of abollt Sixteen, constitute his
real chief officers, the wife being
thoroughly experienced in tho business,
aud tlie daughter a good pilot and chief
mate. They may, under the decision,
be compelled to employ men as licensed
offioets, but Mrs. Miller will probably
continue to be the practical authority of
the boat.
The decision, of course, does hot im
ply any icidteu hostility on tho part of
the Government to the right of women
to assume command of stoafflboats, It
must decide questions in accordance with
existing laws. Tlie fault* if fault exists,
is with the legislative nnd not with tlie
executive or judicial departments of tho
Government. The tyrant man makes
the laws,and he has made them so that the
mouoply of tho business of commanding
steamboats Is secured to his own sex.
]t may be that when the present laws
regulating tile subject were framed, it
did not occur to him that Women would
demand such occupations, or if it did, he
may have decided that no woman was
equal to the performance of some of tho
duties of a Mississippi steamboat cap
tain, and so intentionally have excluded
her. The functions of standing on tho
upper d eck when the boat ties up or
leaves a dock, aud addressing the fellows
handling the cables below seems pecu
liarly fitted for tho masouline nature. It
is doubtful whether any woman could
rerform it, and exclaim, “Haul iu that
me there I” adding the necessary ex
pletive in a satisfactory mauder.
Q. W H- WHITAKER.
DENTIST,
audsnvuuta*
TKRMS CASB.
one* «t his itssMswos, m Barns strsst
AwrllM. 1SSO.
THE JOM’S BUDGET.
WHAT WB'FINO TO NMII.B OTIE IN
TUB UUAIOItOUH FA FURS.
TO* OOTSO WAN.
On a certain Monday morning, a
Banker in his chair,
Gazed vacantly upon hie safe; his
Cashier wasn't there.
And thua in peevish, fretful mood, with
Much uneasy air,
The banker beard a foot-fall a-
Coming up tho stair.
Tlie door was oponed and he saw the
Cashier's wife in tcarw—
“O, toll mo where's my husband ? Pray,
Ease my anxions fears.”
He took the sltnation in, with sym
pathetic looks.
Said she, ‘ ‘Pray, search the river.” Said
Ho, “Pray, search tho books I”
—Paul Pry m Lt/a
Talma and Napoleon.
I once henrd an old dramatist relate an
anecdote, which may or may not have
found its way into print. As long ngo
as 1788 or 1789 he was walking in the
Rue 8t. Honoro with his friend Talma,
then at the commencement of his career,
when a young officer in a shabby lieu
tenant's* uniform met them, and said to
tho aotor, “Remember tomorrow.”
Talma nodded assent, and the other
passed on. “Who is that?” inquirod
my informant. “Tho torment of my
life,” was the reply. “A young fellow
without a sou, who is perpetually
plaguing me for tickets of admission to
the theatre. Not a bad judge, I must
say,” he continued. “Knows all our
classics by heart, and won’t listen to
anything but Corneille and Racine.”
Some 20 years later the two friends
chanced to meet again iu the Palace du
Carrousel, at the very moment when
Napoleon was starting for his daily ride.
On seeing Talma he stopped his horse
and sp ; ike a few words to him. When
ho had left them, the tragedian, turning
to his companion, asked if he recollected
tho young lieutenant who used formerly
to bother him for tickets. On the lat
ter's confessing that he had quite for
gotten the circumstance, “Ah,” ob
served Talma, “I have more reason to
remember him than you have. He is
Emperor now, and I am still a poor
devil of an aotor; but you see that he has
not forgotten me. Only,” he added,
with a smile, “he has no need to ask me
for free admissions now !”— Longman's
Magazine.
lie Left No Effects.
Uncle Abe was fond of 'posnm. Hav
ing caught one, he got his wife, Dinah,
to cook it for him and requested that it
should be placed in the cupboard until
morning. Tlie favor was granted and
Uncle Abe lay down before a log fire
and went to sleep. His son Mose, com
ing in late, got the ’possum aud ate it,
laid the bones down at Uncle Abe’s head,
smeared the old man’s face and hands
with grease and went to bed. The fol
lowing morning Uncle Abe awoke and
asked Dinah:
“Whar’s dat ’possum ?”
“In de onpboard,’’ wliioh she explored
and found it missing.
Returning, Dinah inquired:
“Abe, when -did you eat dat ’possum ?
Dar's de bones at your head, yer faoe
smells of ’possum and yer ban’s are
greasy.”
“Maybe I did eat dat ’possum, but if I
did it did me less good dan any ’possum
Ieveiet”
DiBAFPBAnED.—A wizard got a $90
ficfuso in Paso del Norte, and then, say
ing that he would show the assemblage a
trick that would open their eyes
termed “The Mystic Man', oy tho Dis
appearance,” he" brought out a large
box aud said: “I will now shut myself
up in this box; the triok is to find me.’
Five minutes later everybody knew that
he had escaped from the rear with tho
receipts of the ovening and- a coat be-
onging to an employee of the theatre,
IN A NEW YORK BOUDOIR.
"Have ye* been to the big loan ex.
hibition, I dunno?”
"Indade I have, and wus n’t it foin,
though/’
“And phat did yez go fur ? It is fur
nothing unt a pedestal for a big imaga
to go on Bedloes Island. ”
“Sure, now, yez mnst be mistaken.”
“Indade I’m not. The doorkeeper
towld me so himself.”
“Blast the spalpane of a ticket seller,
thin. I axed liim phat the show waa
fur, nnd he towld me it wastur the dyn
amite fund, or I would not a-gone iu at
all, at all."—Philadelphia Call.
CUTTING A WATERMELON.
Father, I see by the papers that Mr,
Gould talks ot cutting a watermelon.”
"Yes, my son.”
"Is it a big melon ?”
VRutber large."
“Aud very ripe ?’’
“Woll, pretty ripe." *
“And it is good of him, isn’t it 7”
“Very good—just like Mr. Gould.”
“When he cuts it will he give all tha
hoys a slice ?"
“Not exactly, my son—not for Joseph!
He will simply cut the melon hi two.”
“And then ?”
“And walk off wilh a half uuder ...oil
arm to devour the meat by himself, a ’
plant the seeds to fool the boys anotk.
time!’’— Wall Street Jfewe,
IN BOHOOIi.
Teacher—“Define eternity. 1 '
Pupil—‘'Please, ma’m, I’ve forgotten
what tho word moann."
Teacher—“Eternity means ‘endless
time.’ Do you understand that?”
Pupil—“Please, ma’m, I don’t.”
Teacher—“I am not surprised; it is a
poor definition, anyhow. If you were
never to die you would live on through
eternity. If workmen should begin to
build something ana put on one stone
a ycAr and never, never get done, that
structure would be on eternity in build
ing and would never be finished. _ Now
see if you ean give me a definition of
your own. What is eternity ?”
Pupil—“The Bartholdi pedestal.”
son Blabs
bg resolu-
SqUELOHED.
In tho Lime-Kiln Club, Nt
arose and offered tho folio*
tion:
“Resolved, Dat do bes’ wishes of dm
Lime-Kiln Club am hereby ^tended to
de False Prophet of Egypt..*
Cranberry Johnson supported the
resolution, while Juniper Smith was
seen to move back into tb'e fifth row, as
if he expected the splinters-to fly.
“Brudder Slabs, who writ dat resolu
tion ?” inquired the President in a voice
full of knot-holes. . ;
«I—I.reokon it was a man on de ma’-
ket, sail.”
“What do you know 'bout de False
Prophet ?”
“N—nuffip’, sah. flain’t de resolu
tion all right?”
“Nelson Slabs, you sot down wid all
yonr might I You am fined $600 fur
makiu’ a fool o’ yourself, an’ you may
feel thankful dat you has escaped hav
in’ yer head sand-papered I As fur you,
Brudder Johnson, you am fined $150fnr
playin’ second fipdle.”—Detroit Free
Press.
RATHER FORGETFUL.
“My dear,” said a wife to her hus
band, who had reached home very late
one Saturday night and in a state of in
toxication, “did you. order the meat for
to-morrow’s dinner?”
“No,” he said, “I (hie) forgot it.”
“Did you tell the grocer to send a
couple of mackerel for breakfast?”
“I forgot that, too.”
“Well, the vegetables; I hope you didn’t
forget them ?”
“Yes, I did,” he replied, as well as he
could. “I’m ver’ sorry (hio), but I for
got a-all about’em.”
“You didn’t forget to get intoxicated,
did you ?”
“No’m.”
“Did you order the brandy for the
mince-meat ?” . ..
“Yes,” he said, pulling out of his
E ocket a half-emptied bottle,, “an’ I (hie)
rought it with me. ”
“I declare,” said his wife impatiently,
“we haven’t a thing to-eat'-to-morrow.
It’s the last time I will evisr ask you to
do any marketing.”
“Well,” responded the husband with
considerable indignation, Dyer don' ex
pect (hio) er man to r’mapiber every
thing, do yon ?”—Philadelphia Call
Poors says ha,cajmot_ understand why
liiB wife is always so particular in select
ing a residence where she*-can have a
“southern exposures” He says that
during the war lie was downabot 11 Vick k -
Imig, and he got^enongb Southern ex
posure in one; dose to last him all hi^
horn dft-VR.