The Mercury. (Sandersville, Ga.) 1880-1???, February 05, 1884, Image 1

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Newspaper Page Textthe mercury. PUBLISHED EVERT TUESDAY NOTICE. -j.All oommunloatlona Intended tor this paper mast be accompanied with the toll pame of the writer, not necessarily tor publl. eatlon, but as a guarantee of good faith. We are In no way responsible for the Views eroplnlons of Correspondent. MERCURY. A. «). JKRSIGAN, Proprietor, DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, AGRICULTURE AND GENERAL INTELLIGENCE. $1.50 per Annum VOLUME IV BAN fiERSVILLE, GA., TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 1884. NUMBER 42. THE MERCURY. 0 Entered as seeond-elaae matter at the Ban dertvllle Fostoffloe, April V, IMA Sandemllle, Washington Coutft flt* rnumm by A.. J. JERNIGAN, Paoraiaroa am Pciuma. Subscription....—.......Ii.m per Tear RICHARD I. HARRIS, Attorney at Zaw, SANDER8VLLE, GA. Will prsitiro in all the courts ot the middle circuit, and in the counties sur- rounding W.shington Special atten tion giveu to commercial law. £• s. langmadeT - Attorney at Zaw, SANDERSVILLE, GA. MAYOR. O. H. ROGERS. CLETtK <0 77tEASU7tZ7t. D. E. B, WELLS. MATtSIlAZZ. J. E. WEDDON. A Z 7) EZiMJEjy, W. H, LAWSON, Wm. RAWLINGS, S. G. LANG, A. M. MAYO, M. 11. BOYER. 7own of 2ennitte. Mayor—John C. Tlarmnn. Aldermen- W. P. D;ivi», J. W. Smith, P. J. Pipkin, T. J. Bock. Clerk—S. II. B Massey. Mandiall—J. O. lliimillon. B. D. EVANS, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Bandersvllle, Qa. April 1,1880. c. 0- BROWN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Bandersrllle, Ot, j! will practice In the State end United Stated Courts, omee In Court-house. Watches, Clocks And JEWELRY REPAIRED BT J EH IT I GAIT, Dr. H. B. Hollifield, Having recently graduated at the Unlver- illy <>l Maryland and returned home, now •'Hers Ida prolesslonal services to the citizens nl Handeravllle and vicinity. Ofllce with l>r. II N Hollifield, next door to|Mn). Bayne’s tmlliuery store. H. N. HOLLIFIELD, Physician and Surgeon, Bandersvllle, da Office next door to Mrs. Bayne’s millinery •tore on Harris street. MUSIC, MUSIC QO TO— JESNIGAN Bows, Strings, Rosin Boxes, Etc. BUY YOUll FROM JERNIGAM, Wodb genuine without onr Trade Mark. On hand and for cals. gPgCTAqWH. NOSE GLASSES. ETC. Machine Needles, Oil and Shuttles, F°R a LT j KINDS OP MACHINES, for sale. 1 w ,i. * lso order parts of Machines that get broken, for wliloh new pleoes are wanted. ^ J. JEBNIGAN. A K. Hiwgg, 0. H. Boas HINES & ROGERS, Attorneys at Law, EDITORIAL NOTES, TnE clergymen of Indianapolis have formally recominondod that funeral ser vices shall bo performed on secular days in private dwellings,and not in the hoUseS f worship; that tho friends shall take leave of the dead In privato ; that the remains shall not be exhibited to the public, and that, with a view of reduc ing he burden of expense, the services slialt bo on ono day and the burial pri vately performed on the uoxt. May the clergymen of Indianapolis live to attend many funerals,and never go to thoir own. The following shows tho wealth of the United States on tho 1st of June, 1880, tho figures represent ng millions of dol lars: Farms 10,107 Residence and business real petite, cap ita) employed iu bu*lutSn, including water power,, 0.881 Railroads and equipments 6,630 Telegraphs, shipping and osnals 410 Live stuck, whether on oriftfums, farming tools and machinery S 400 Household furniture, paintings, books, clothing, Jewelry, household supplies of food, fuel, Sto 6,000 Mines (including petroleum wells) and quarries, together with one-hall of the annual product reckoned as the supply on hand 780 Three quarters of the annual product of agrioulture and manufactures ami of the annual import ition of f, reign goods, as-umeil to be the aveiage supply on band 6,10C Churohes, school asylums, public build* ingi of nil kinds, and other re 1 es tate exempt from taxation 2,000 Specie 612 Miscellaneous Items, lucludinj tools of mechanics 050 Total 43,565 The Now York Stnr recently publish ed tho following list of foreign land holders iu America, with the extern of their possessions; Acres. The Holland Land Company, N.w Mtxioo 4,600,000 An English lyndicate No 3 in Texas 3,000.000 Sir El ward Reid and a syndicate iu Florida 2,000,000 English syndicate In Mississippi... 1,8 0 000 Marquis of Twee.ldule 1,750,000 Phillips, Marshull & Co., Loudon... 1,300,000 Qerman syndicate 1,100,000 Anglo-American syndicate, llr. Rogers, President, London 750,000 Bryan II. Evans, of Loudon, in Mississ ppi 700,00^ Duke of Southerland 425,00 British Laud company in Kansas 3.0,000 William Whalley, M P, Peterss boro, Ergland 310,000 Missouri Laud company, Edinburg, Scotland 305,000 Robert Tennant, of London 280,000 Dundee Land company, Scotland, 237,000 Lord Luumora 120,000 Bsnjtraiu Newgas, Liverpool 100,000 Lord Houghton, Iu Florida 60,000 Uoru Dunnveu, iu Colorado 60,000 Engli-h Laud company in Florida 60,000 Engli'h Land company, Arkansus 50,OCO Albert Peel, M P, Leicestershire, Emtlnnd 10,00 Sir J L Kay, Yorkshire, England,,. 6,000 Ahxrnder Grant, of London, iu Kansas 35,000 English syndicate (represented by Close Bros.) Wisconsin 110,000 M Ellerhuuser, of Halifax, N S, iu West Virginia 600 000 A Scotch syndicate in Florida 600,05( A. Boysen, Danish Consul in Mil waukee 50 OOt Missouri Land company, of Edinr burg, Scotland 165,00C Total 20,747,000 ') his total is about the area of the state of Indiana. ym 8AN DERSVILLB, GA., i»ffBifi act T 0 ! ,n the counties of Washington, and in S.’ J Ohuiion, Emanuel and WllklniKvn, trio tor L h ® u t 8 - Court* for tha Southern Dls- Will r 'h>£L;v£ e t, QU ln buyln8 * 1-11118 01 Ost u°.y on '^** t of Fubllo Square. The enormouB value of the agricul tural interest is shown by tbo census report, now in press, from which we ’earn that tho value of farms in the United States is $10,197,000,000; invieo as high us all the railroads and thoir equ pment, and ten per cent higher than all other real estate proporty and tho capital employed in busincs. Tho churches, asylums, schools and public buildings exempt from taxation are val ued at $2,000,000,000, a little less than one-twentieth of tho valuation of al property. During the present session of congress about one hundred pension bills have boon introduced. All sorts of liberal propositions have been made. It is pro posed to pension tho survivors and wid ows of tho Seminole, Florida, Black Hawk, Creek, Cherokee and Mexican wars. Two of the bills go in for pen sioning all survivors of tlio union army at tho rate of $4 per month until tho age of 60, and $8 per month aftor thnt nge. Another bill proposes to give all soldiers and sailors who were confined in confed erate prisons during tlio war a pension of $8 per month, and $2 per day for each day of imprisonment. In the Rocky Mountains the inhabi tants all wear snow shoes. These shoes are made of po ishod wood and are from four to fourteen feet in length. They are really in the nature of sleds, nud on- able the wearer to slide down hills and mountains at a furious rate of speed. On level ground a pole is carried to aid in pushing the pedestrian along and it is also of service in ascending and decend- ing hills. It is said that a man accus tomed to these snow shoes ettu ttaVel Hfly miles AfirfisS country in a day of ten hohft. TnE act of Congress, pnssod at the last session, establishing an inspection of tons, with tho power to c udomn spu rious or adulterated goodB, is accom plishing Substantial results. Since the passage of the act 856,281 pftckngeB have been passed Upon, representing 40,006,- 00 pounds, and 7,000 pnekagos, or 325;- 000 pounds, have been condemned A arge decrease of importations also re sulted from the act, and the quantity eld back no doubt ropreseus such doubtful or ispurious grades ns could got be ventured utldfir tho official inspection. The total importn ion in 1883 was 63,- 000,000 pounds, in 1882, 74,000,000 pounds, in 1881, 80,000,000 pounds, and 1 1880, 81,000,000 pounds. l'nE Black Slags, tho pooullar people With whom tho Fronch are at war in An- nam, have a strange history Ovor twenty years ago Loir Yuen Fou flod with a remnnnt of the Canton rebels to A imam, where tho litllo hand obtained the protection of tho king. Tho Black Flags, hs they wore called, wore allowed to cultivate the Wild country in tho mountains, and in tho course of a few years they declared thoir independence and organized a government of thoir own. Poople flockod to the Blnck Flags, towns sprang up and thoir country pros pered. The colony now numbers nbout 200,000. Their army Is formidable and their natural defenses In the shape of rooky mountain ranges and water bar riers make their position almost impreg nable, Shorthand writers aro in groat de mand, and tho most export command fine salaries in Certain positions, blit it is ft In Is take to supposo that more profl- e’ency in stenography is all that is re quired. Tho shorthand writor must be a good penman, and he must be thor oughly up in spelling, punctuation and grammar. A knowledge of business forms is also ossontial. Many business men are satisfied with slow shorthand writers, as thoy got them at low salaries Very ordinary stenographers command 815 a week, a compotont stenographer and ypowriter can go: from $20 to $30 '?r week, itml a few got $2,000 a year, )Ut high salaries are not paid for short hand alone—the writer must have other qualities which make him a valuable man to his employer In Boston 250 porsons earn their support by shorthand, while in Chicago it is estimated that tho num ber will reach 1,600. The young man who proposes to make money as a steno grapher must make himself something of a lawyer, a business man, and a thor ough master of rapid composition and legible writing. The tyranuy of the Mormon system is simply indescribable. When tho mis sionaries make female converts abropd they send the r photographs to Utah. At tho Sunday services in tho temple ihoso pictures are displayed from the pulpit, and all good Mormons who need fresh wives inspect these portraits, select tho woman thoy want and furnish mon ey to pay their pa-sago to Utah. When the female converts arrive they arc fre quently dragged from tho cars by the brutal Mormons who have bargained for thorn, placed in wagons and driven away. The initiations into the church and the marriage ceremonies at tbo en dowment house aro ro, resented as being brutal and shocking in the ex treme. Mormon wives are compelled to labor to support thoir husbands. Once under Mormon rule it is difficult to es cape. The government is tyrannical. No ono can build a house or plant a tree without a permission from the head of the church. In the schools tho children aro forced to study the Book of Mor mon. The young people aro trained up iu hosti ity to the national government, and aro eduoated in the belief that oaths administered by courts imd civ 1 authori ties are not binding. This makes Mor mons absoutely useless as witnesses and jurors, and protects Mormonism from ex posure in the courts. A slashing article in a western pape takes the position that the medical pro fession is over-crowded. The writer denounces the mushroom growth of our medical schools, and claims that they turn out every year a crowd of smatter- ers. In promoting a reform it is sug gested that the first step necessary is to take away absolutely from tho schools the power of granting diplomas. Let a co lege be created, or a board of exami ners Ite appointed. They must have no connection with the schools, and be so paid as not to be dependent upon the ex aminations. Give them the power to prescribe the length of course and the studies in the Bchools. North Carolina has suoli a board, but not a medical col lege in the state. No diploma is good there, and all must submit to an exami nation. Iu the last four years this board has examined 142 candidates. They came from twenty-throo different col- logos, and only 121 passed and obtained liceiisos to practice. Ending a long re port of its work the board states: “There is no discipline and little training w, rthy of the name n most of our medical col leges. There Is no standa d of exatninn* Mora’’ This is a terrible indictment froth unbiased men, but tho North Caro lina board bolds firmly to the opinion that the efcaminntioh of tho M. D. degree should be done by bodies not connected with the schools, -— x. General news. Leon county, Florida, land, near lake Jackson, is worth $8 per rhrSi Nearly 800 students are enrolled at the Athens, Tenn., University. During the past year ovor 300 now buildings were erected in Montgomery, Alabama* The total value of propotty in Ken tucky owned by the oolorod poople is $3,380,409. It is stated that tho life insurance bus iness Was unusually profitable during the J’bat 1889. A SHIPMENT of twenty-five hundrod rabbits wius made from Henry county, tenn., n few days ago. Cincinnati is to have a fourth bridge over the Ohio river, to be built this year at a cost of $1,250,000. The shipments of pine timber from Alabama through tho ports of Pensacola and Mobile In 1882) were $32,203,137. Since January, 1888, tho bedstead factory at Loudon, Toimosioo, has aver aged 4,000 bedsteads and 2,500 chairs monthly. Fifteen babies were bom In Robert son county, Ky., during the recent cold weather, when the thermometer was at ils lowest point. “Aunt Milly,” a well known col ored woman of South Nashville, was married a day or two since. She is about one hundred years old. Edison says that the incandescent light is a success and in a yoar you will see it shining out of every window from the Brooklyn to the Harlem bridge. Returns to the Georgia Department J Agricu’ture shows tho damage to win- tor oats by the recent freeze to bo 60 per cont and to wheat 80 per cent James Rioe, trainer for tbo Dwyor Bros., in five years lias won for that firm uot far from $400,000, and nearly all of the amount with Kentucky horses. Agents of a New York firm aro scour ing the woods of Arkansas for black walnut trees, for which $1 each is paid, the logs being shipped to Now Orleans. A Pulaski county, Ky., man one day Inst week killed 60 rabbits without tho aid of a gun or dog. He jerked thorn out of the snow and killed them with a stick. About the 16th of February the bronze statue of General Lee will bo shipped from New York to New Orleans. It will adorn the apex of tho monument in Lee Plnce, formerly Trivoli Circle. Of Mexico’s debt of $117,000,000, En glishmen bold about $85,000,000. The rest is held in New York. Tlio republic annual revenue is about $33,000,000, mainly from the stamp tax and tariff duties. It is stated as the opinion of a noted meteorologist, that the railroads and tel egraph lines form a net work of electrio conductors which tend to equalize the climate of our country, that of the north becoming warmer and of the s >uth colder. Frogs, snakes and turtles are the principal enemies of the carp. It is said that a medium sized snake wi 1 eat 5.000 young carp in a sitigle summer. The fhli is very popular in Georgia, and in almost every neighborhood carp ponds may bo found. Mr. Depau, the wealthy glass manu facturer of Indiana, predicts that gas wells will revolutionize the manufactur ing business of the country. He shows the faith of his conviotions in that he is developing a well to obtain power for his factory at New Albany. A Cool Burglar. ST. BERNARD DOGS. A SIIOIIT ESSAY ON TIIKIR GOODNESS ('liiirnrtrrlsllra of llic Anlmnls-Thnlr Apti tude lor Krnrrliln* for Lost I’eoplo. Few if fthy tarieties of dogs Command a wide* tcftahl among toon and women tlinu tho St. Bernard. There afe many that, for tho aptitude with which thoy lend theinsoltes tb special training for special piirpoa»!«| are perhaps tnoro fnmilior, and somo that, being pecu liarly fitted for making pets of, aro in ono sense of tub iVord fhore popular. But, the slioep dog OXOeptetl; tbefo* fa flotte that attracts tho samo degroo ana kind of sympathy as the grand qreaturo of tlio Alpine hospice, wherever it may bo. These two sjjecit% apprnnch, it may be, more nearly to tho best typo oFmlfflrttt character than any other. Thoy are fearless of ovoiy enemy and faithful to every friend. Tho sheep dog, therefore, has long held rank at the shepherd's hearth an bun tif the household, and its habits and tastes aro almost as punctu ally respected as those of ary human momber of the family circle. When tho snow blinds tho mnn it does not blind tlie dog, and the sheep aro drivon home without hnrtn ot ltisS i ntld when the gudeman goes bvef the hill fot a social glitsS with ri friend hb takes ids oollio with him, for thotigh thb ttliiSky ttay fuddle tlie master ho knows it will hot fuddlo tho dog, and so tho cottage door is t-enhhed in Safety id last. In a very similar spirit tlie fit. IMfinM throws in its lot with mnn. Tho puppies ovuii dit) singnlnrly self-rcspeotful. They will play with children, but os comrndos and not an playthings, Only half-grown they pass Othel dogs by its if thoy were not dogs themselves, declining all oVcf- tares to totnpfl and disregarding provo cations to coin bat. Thev attach them selves readily to horses, but above all 10 man, and it really seems, studying this beautiful animal, ns if there was some thing moro behind those wonderful eyes and that wise, good forehead than a moro brute's brain, Thoy walk up to a stranger without bluster and without menneo, as if expecting it mutual self* respect, escort him to the nouse doof anil Await the Character of his greoting with tlie infcaths. If it is cordial tho dog is at onoe intimate, find. Without invitation, will join tho visitor for u quiet cigar on the terrnco or a stroll in tbo pnrk. If it is business-like, but not hearty, the St. Bornard goes to its master’s side and allows the stranger Jto lonve without farther recognition, and cuts him dead the next time they meet. But if the stranger be of a suspicious sort, and tho lodgekeepcr holds him under cross-examination before admit ting him to tho hall, of Vicarage, of manor house, the dog at once drops bo- hind the intruder, Covets his flanks alter nately and tnkes him straight to the servants’ door. The interview over, and, just as tho dog expected, proving unsatisfactory, it escorts him back to tho lodge gate under the same strict guard, and, having watched him around tho corner, turns to tho koepor and says, os plainly ns eyes can Bay nnythiug, “A rogue that.’’ But this, after all, is tho splendid animal in English domestica tion, using its grent gifts of intelligence and urbanity in the' everyday nffairs of life, it is not the rough, impatient— and yot so gentle—dog that tlie good old monks on the Alps have trained to sup plement human efforts in saving life, by doing that which mon themselves could not do, For tho St. Bernard dogs are neithor for snowstorm nor avalanche; but let tbo wenthor bo whnt it may, and tho storm ever so furious, they go eagerly out with their little barrels of cordial strapped round thoir neoks and search for dying travelers. Somo unde fined and indefinable instinct tells them where the fallen man lios, nud they scratch away the snow with their lnrge pnws, and find him and lick his fnce till tho numbed brain responds totbe warmth and then guide the frozen fingers, which they thaw with their tongues to tho life- restoring draught, and then, lying down by the body to give its own warmth of vital heat and fur to the fast- congealing limbs, howl out their cry for help to the distant monastery, and by and by the monks bear it, and tho dog’s voice guides tho wandering lantern to tlio lifo that Las to be saved, and very soon tho monks are busy iu the noble task. One dog alone has thus far saved forty lives, and instances are on record of St. Bernards having actually, by some means or another, raised frozen children upon their backs and carried them to tlie moncutery doors. Americans ttlio Slurry in England. HOW WE EG IVJIT TIIE FIRE. Mr. A. B. Young, an attorney of Indi anapolis, Ind., was suddenly aroused from sleep at midnight, recently, by the flash of a light in his face. He was startled by seeing a man at his bedside, who held a dark lantern in his left band and a big revolver in bis right hand. The weapon was aimed directly at Mr. Young’s herd. “Keep perfectly quiet,” said the burg lar, coolly. “Tell me instantly where your money is." Mr. Young said he had only seventy- five cents about liis clothes, and he began a chat with the burglar, which continued fifteen minutes, both cracking jokes in tho meantime. “Your police ain’t worth its room. I can go through any house on College avenue and escape,” said the thief. One of the children trotted into the room, and the bnrglar patted it on the bead and sent it back to bed. The en tire household was aroused by this, and the visitor backed quietly down stairs and disappeared. Mr. Young said he was the coolest burglar on record. Tho London World says: It is quito a mistake to supposo that most of tho Americans .who marry Englishmen are rich. A few are well-to-do, and somo half-dozen rich. Lady Harcourt has a large life income—a jointure; but her sister, Mrs. Sheridan, has no consider able fortune. Mrs. Arthur Paget will probably some day have £10,000 a year. A son of Lord Augustus Loftus is mar ried to tlie daughter of a very rich Phil adelphian lady. Lady Hesketh will, I suppose, have a very large fortune, and Mrs. Edward Balfour probably has £100,000. Lady Maudeville and Lady Lister Kaye assuredly were not married for money. Indeed, of the numberless American ladies married to Englishmen, I can think of no others now living who had fortunes. The first wife of Sir Charles Murray had a fortune, now some £8,000 a year probably, which is enjoyed by her son. On tlie other hand, many French and Germans have rich Ameri can wives. The daughters of au Ameri can Irishman, long resident in Paris, who made a fortune out of lotteries, have married French grandees; and the daughters of a Mr. Fisher, a rich retired “dry goods man," have married Italian nobles; while some ludies named Lee, daughters of a New York wholesale grocer, have married into the creme de la creme of Germany. One is the wife of Moltke’s Adlatus—is, in fact, second in command of the army. Fully to understand a grand and beau tiful thought requires, perhaps, as much time as to conceive it. ST WILL OARLETOIf. 'Twas a drowsy night on Tompkihfl tilth Tho vory loaves of tho trees lay still; The world was slumbering ocoan-doep; And oven tlio stars seemed half asleep. And winked and blinked at tlio roofs below, As yearning for morn, that they might go; 1 he streets as stolid and still did lio A« thev would hare dono If streets conld die; Thq sidewalks stretched as quietly prone As if a foot they had never Sn .wn; Alld lint, a cottage within tho town Hut looked as if it would fain lio down. Away in tho west a atarkrn-chmd, Willi whito arms drooping and bare head bowed, Was leaning against—wilh drowsy eye— Tho dark lime Velveting of tho sky. And that WAS the plight Things were In ihat night, fiefofa were roused tho foe to light— Tho foe so griSlfy and grand ar.fi bright— That plagued old Deacon iompklns. Tho Deacon lay on Ids firs' wife « bed, Ilts second wife's pillow beneath Ills head, lift? third.wife’s coverlet o'er him wide, . His fourth ttifV slumbering by his side. The parson visioned hi# Otioday’s text, And what ho should hml at Halufl mat) Tho doctor a drowsy half-vigil kept, Htlll studying, ob he partly slept, How men might glutton, and tope, and fly In tho tticBOf Death, and still not die; Tlio lawyer droaincd Cliftt his slients meant To club tog. ther, and then present, As proof thnt their faith had not grown dim, A small bright silver hatchet to him; ’I lie laborer such sound slumber knew, He hadn't a dream tho whole night through; Tl;o ladles dreamed—but I ean’i say well What'tIs they dreftm, for they nover tell; In short, such a general drowsy timo Usd ne'er been known in that alocpy dime, ft# on the night Of clamor Slid fright, Wo wore roused tlie trrachoroflS fow to fight— Tho loo so greedy unit grand, and bright, Aitd carrying such an appetite— Thai plagued o d Deacon Tompkins When all at once tile old court-house hell (Wltleh had a video like a maitiSo’syeU) titled out, as if in its dim old sight Tlie .judgment day had como in tho night. "Hang whang whang bang clang dang bang whang,* The pooroid pared of metal sr.ng; t erest, from mansion, cottage, and abed, Uthbti attd Women as from tho dead, In different stakes of attifo, Anil shouted “Tlio Uiwll Is all afire I” (Which canro as near to being trufl As some more leisurely stories do.) Thoy saw on the Deacon's house a glare, And’everybody hurried thero; Ami such’ a lot of visitors lio Had never before the luck to ace, The Deacon received lliese gueals of night In ooitUmo very simple and white; Ami after a drowsy, seared “Ahem I” He asked thorn wlial lie ennkl do for thme. "Firo ! flro!" thoy shoutodi “your house’s ailro!" An;1 thsn. with energy suddon and diro, Thoy milled thfnufdi tho mansion’s solitudes, And bciped the lit ucoil to move his goods. And that was tho alght Wu had that night, When roused by tho people who saw the light Atop of tho restdonco, cozy and white. Alior. llrod old Deacon Tompkins. Ah mo! tho way that they rummaged round! Alt mu i the startling things thoy found ? No ono with a fair Idea of space Would over have thought that In one place Wero half tho things teat, with a shout, Thefo neighborly ktnglars hustled out. Caino articles that tho Deacon's wlvos Had all been guthoring all thoir lives) Dame furniture such as otto might sea Didn't grow in tho trunk of every tree; A tall oloek, centUHcS old. 'twas said, Lcapod out of a window, bools o'er head; A volcran chair, In which, when now, George Washington sat for a minute or two; A bedstead strong, as if in its lap Old Time might take his terminal nap; Dishes, that fit meals long agone The Do .con’s fathers had eaten on; Clothes, made of every ent and hne, 1 list couldn’t remember when they wero new; A mirror, seathless many a day, Was promptly smashed Iu the regular way; Old shoes enough, if properly thrown, To bringgood luck to till eieatures known; Ami children tiiirti on, more or less, In VHtylng plenitude of dices. And Ihat was tho sight We had that night, When roused, the ter- ihlo foe to fight, Which blazed aloft to a moderate height, And turned tho cheeks of the timid wiiito, Including Deacon Tompkins. I/)! where the engines, recking hot, Dashod up to tho interesting spot; Canto Number Two, “The Cltv’s IIopo," l’ropcilcd by a lino of moo and topo; Ami alter them on a spiteful run, “Tho Uceait Billows," or Number One. Ami soon tho two, indocod to “play" By a hundred hands, wero working away, Until, to tho Deacon’s flustered sight. As he dnnot d about ill his robe of white, It seemed as if, by tho hand Of Fate, House-cleaning day was some two years lato, And with completo though late success, Had Just arrived by tho night express. The "Ocean Billows" vine at high tide, And flung their spray upon every sido; The “City's Hope" were in perfect trim, Preventing aught likean interim; And a “Hook and Ladder Company" came, With hooks and polos and a long hard name And with an iconoclastic frown, Wore about to pull tho whoio thing down, When somo one raised the assuring shout, “It’s only the chimney a-burnin’ out!" Whereat, with .enso of injured trust, Tho crowd wont homo In completo disgust. Scarce ono of thoso who, with joyous shout, As-isted the Deacon in moving out, ltefrainod from the homeward-flowing din, To holp the Deacon at moving in. And that was the plight In which, that night, They left tho Deacon, clad in white, Who felt ho was hardly treat d right, And need >ome words, in tlie flickering light, Not orthodox in their porport quite— Poor, put out Deacon Tompkins! —Harper's Weekly- Method of a Bribe-Giver. G. W. H. WHITAKER, DEN T I ST, BandarsvlUe, da. TERMS CASH. Office at hla Residence, on NarrU street. April Id. I860. Till! JOKERS’ BUDGET. The St. Louis Post says :—John W. O'Oouiifcll, of tlie School Board, thus tells how a mau in tho employ of a pub lishing firm tried to bribe him to use ltis influence in behalf of a geography "Ho approached me and began to talk of tho merits of the book. As we wore about to part he handed me a copy ol the new book with a remark that I would find it interesting. I laid the book on the table and my friend went away. When subsequently turning over tlie leaves of the book i discovered what he meant by interesting, for snugly ensconced betweon the lenves I found a check for $200 signed with a name which I recognizod as that of a book agent. I sent for my friend and gave him a very large piece of my mind and his check. But for Ins excellent family I would expose him.” NEAR ENOUGH. A. Miafcigin girl i:oid her young man that she •would never marry him until he was worth $100,000. Bo he started out with a brave heart to make it. “How are you'getting on, George?” she asked at the expiration of a couple of months. “Well,” George said hopefully, “I have saved up $22.” The girl dropped her eyelashes and blushingly remarked, “I reckon that’s near enough, George,” WHAT WE FIND IN THE HUMOROUS P4PEUM TO SMILE OYER. mono or the all-wool shirt. My father bought an undershirt Of bright ami flaming red— "All wool, I’m ready to assert, Fleece dyed," tho merchant sain. "Your slzo is thirty-eight, I think; A forty yon should get. Since all-wool goods aro bonnd to shrink A triflo when they're wot." That shirt two weoks my father wore— Two washings, M>*t was all— From forty down to thirty-four It shrank like leaf in fall. I wore It then a day or two, But when 'twas washed sgsin My wife said “now ’twill only do fcor little brother Ben." A fortnight Ben squeezed into IW- At last ho said it hurt. Wo put it on our babe—tho fit Was good as any shirt We no’or will wash it more while jre» Wo see its flickering light. For if again tiiat shirt is wet ’Twill vanish from our sight. Euoenb Field. TWO FATAL DEFECT, Mrs. Jenkins— “Dear me, Matilda Jane, it’s no tiao trying to be aristocratic any longer. I’ve done everything mor tal woman oould since your par did to well in lumber, but the obstacles is too great. I give it up.” Matilda Jane— “Why, mu, I think we’re getting along splendid, I’m sure. We don’t eat with our knives any more, and we’ve got ao wo dare speak to tlio butler at dinner. The way you say ‘James, you may go’ sounds like a queen talking. What la the trouble now?" Mrs. Jenkins— “Well, I was reading only a little while ago that the gout and a family feud wen necessary adjuncts to aristocracy, and 1 don’t see any prospects of securing either." THE HOTEL CLERK. “Pa, who is that pretty man V” “My child, that is the hotel clerk.” “Does he know he’s pretty?” “What a question 1 Of oonrso ha does." “Then peopui don’t have to U .1 him” “Decidedly not.” “What makes him so pretty ?" “Hie graces and his ornaments,” “What are his graces ?” “Modesty and truti?fulness.” “How modest is he ?” “As a government mule." “Is he always truthful ?” “Oertes.” “Whnt are his ornaments, “Virtue and Chatham street dia monds." “Has he any other attraction?” “Ho has—frequently.” “What is it?” "Gall.”—Hotel Reporter. OET HIM NEXT TIME. A deaf old fellow, charged with steal ing a hog was arraigned before a court. Tbe jury, without loaving tho box, re turned a verdict of guilty. “Old man," said his lawyer, “the jury says you are guilty. “Hay ?’ T “The jury says you are guilty,” shout ing in liis onr. “In what degree ?” “There are no degrees in a stealing oaso.” “Hay?" “Thero are no degrees.” "Guilty all over, am I?” “Hay?” “Yes,” yelling at the top of his voice. “Well, that’s what I told you at first, but you said you could clear me. Wish now that I had got the judge to defend me. Will get him next time ?"—Arkane saw Traveler. “no more dalinb.” Patrick O’Rafferty had been working all summer for a Laramie plnins ranch man, whom we will call Smith. The other day they decided to “dissolve partnership,” as Pat Called it, but on figuring up they conld not agree as to .the amount dne Pat. He olaimed that Smith owed him fifty-eight dollars, while Smith was equally positive that fifty dollars would balance tho account. “Bedad, an’ yes owe me fifty-eight dollars,” says Pat. “Only fifty,” replied Smith, “and my books prove it. I’d swear to the account in any court in the land.” “Faith, an’ ye’d swear to most any thing,” cried Pat. “Sure, ye’d call yer- self a lior«u’ then go afore a Justioe and take oath to it, for a dollar I” “That’s al! right, Pat, but fifty dollars is all you’ll get.” Mr. O’Rafferty saw that Smith was in earnest, so he took the proffered money and started off. “Hold on!" said Smith, “I Want a receipt.” “All right, sor.” Smith sat down and wrote tht follow ing : Laramie, Novembei 1, 1883. 150.00. Recoived of Simon B. Smith, fifty dollars ($50.00) in full for sorviccs rendered to date. Pat read the document over carefully, eying it as a bull might a red rag on the other side of a ten-foot fence. Finally he took up the pen and put it to the paper, and after scribbling a moment arose and walked out. Smith pioked up the receipt. It bore the name of “Patriok 0’Raflerty,”and beneath it ap peared these expressive words: "No more dalins.”—Laramie Boom erang. He was quite late iu arriving at the soiree giveu recently by a prominent Austin belle, and ho immediately sought her presence to apologize, and said: “1 beg a thousand pardons for coming so late.” “My dear sir,” replied the lady, gra ciously, “no pardons are needed. You can never oome too late,”—Texas Sift- ing8.

Georgia Historic Newspapers

The Mercury. (Sandersville, Ga.) 1880-1???, February 05, 1884, Image 1