Southern post. (Macon, Ga.) 1837-18??, March 17, 1838, Image 2

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ANECDOTE Os MR. JUSTICE ALLEN PA**. The irritable disposition of Mr. Justice Paik is often exhibited under very lud.crous circum stances. Some years ago. while a A orkshire butcher was undergoing examination as a wit. ness in a case in the Court ot Common Pleas, an undefinablc sound was heai m t.e imine dkue vicinity of the witness. “ Silence m thc Court, there,” cried Mr. Justice Park, in his usual sharp and irritable manner. “ Just repeat that answer to my question, said he, addressing himself to the witness.— “ The noise which that person made prevented my hearing it distinctly. w “ I said, mv 'ord, I was not Here the same undefinablc sound was again heard. .. T “Ifthat person again interrupts the court, 1 will order him to be taken into custody at once. Tiie court must be respected ; there must be no more of these unmannerly noises. Officer, preserve, at your i»eril, order in the couk. “ Yes, mv lord.” said the officer, bustling forward and looking eagerly about him, as if determined to detect the party the next time the noise was repeated. A dead silence prevailed for some seconds after thc sharp rebuke was administered to the d.sorderlv party. “ Toe last question I put to you, witness, was, whether vou say the dciCiidant thc night before the transaction was said to bave taken place.” . “ I am not able, my lord, to say positively. Here the witness was again interrupted bv a loud growl from a large inastill bc.onging to himself, which flashed conviction on the minds of all present that the author of the two former outrages on the dignity of the court belonged to the canine, not to the human spec es. “Whose dog is that?” said Mr. Justice Park, his eyes flashing indignation as he spoke. “He is mine, my lord,” answered the wit ness. “ Then, sir, you ought to have more respect for the court than to bring him here with you.” “ He followed me against my will, my lord.” “ Tien you must either put him out, or see that he be quiet.” “ I’ll take care, my lord, that lie makes no more noise.” “ 'lVer,” continued the witness, addressing the dog, “ Tiger, you be quiet, sir—you lie down, sir.” The examination was resumed. When Mr. Justice Park came to the sixth or seventh ques tion, Tiger set up another tremendous under growl, which threw the whole court into con vulsions of laughter, and which worked up the irritable faculties of his lordship to the highest possible pitch. Here it may be proper to observe, that the cause of the different growls which Tiger emit ted was a small terrier belonging to someone in the court, with which Tigcr seemed, for some reason or other best known to himself, to be on very bad terms. “Officer,” vociferated Mr. Justice Park, « officer, do your duty, and take that dog out of court.” Wiiether it was that the officer mistook the four-footed author of the disturbance, or that the surly aspect of Tiger frightened him from touching him, 1 cannot say ; hut thc fact was, he was proceeding to take ou* the little harm less terrier out of court, and had no intention of disturbing T ger, when Mr. Justice Park observed, •* Not that dog, officer, but the oth e•. That dog has behaved himself very prop erly indeed ; nothing could be more gentle manly than his conduct. Leave him alone.’ A “ damper” for the humane. Poor Cork indale ? why it was in this very spot tnat lie plunged into the river l.ke a New foundland dog, and saved tne life of an unfor tunate female: —Tne Humane Society sent him a silver medal; and from that hour the desire of saving increased upon him as it does upon a miser. lie neglected his business to take long daily rambles by the Serpentine, or wherever else there seemed a chance of grati fying iiis propensity—and above all, he haun ted the scene of his former exploit, under the very common expectation that what had oc curred once would happen again in the same locality. And, curiously enough, t'.ie calcula tion was partly to be realized. At the same hour, on the same day of the month, as before, I was walking with him on our road to the Wells, when lo and be sold ! at the identical spot we perceived a bov in the last stage of distress, wringing his hands, weeping aloud, and gazing intently for something which seem ed to nave disappeared in the river. We of course inquired what was the matter ; but the poor fellow was too overcome to speak intelli gibly ; though lie was able to intimate by signs tiie cause of his agony was in the water ; in such cases every moment is precious ; and merely throwing off his new hat, Corkindale was instantly diving in the stream, where he kept under, indeed, so long, that I really began to tear that he had been grappled by some perishing wretch at the bottom. At last, how ever, he emerged ; but it was only to ask ea gerly for a more explicit direction. By this time the poor boy was more composed, so as to be able to direct the search rather more to the left—which was with the current. Ac cordingly, down went Corkindale, a second time, in the direction pointed out, but with no better success ; and when he came up again, between.agitation and exertion, he was almost exhausted. At last lie was just able to articu late, “ Gracious heaven ! Nothing—not a Shred !” The anxiety of the poor bov, in the meantime, seemed extreme. “ Law bless you sir, for ever and ever,” said lie, “ for going in, sir —but do but just try again—pray, pray do, sir!” Corkindale did not require urging.— “ Quick ! quick !” says he, making himself up for another attempt, “ tell me, man or wo man ?” “Oh ! how good on you, sir,” cries tne poor fellow, quite delighted at the fresh hope — ‘ Oh! how very, very good on you, sir. But it's nobody, sir, but a hook /—a hook forfishing / And oh dear!—‘if you don’t find it! —for I’ve got never a fardin to buy anoth er !” For the Southern Poet. LIYES TO AMELIA. Amelia ! of the beauteous train, With looks so lively and so gay, Say, wilt thou never kindly deign To think of me when far away ? Your angel smile and form so light, I cannot always hope to sec; Yet when soft silence reigns at night, Amelia, fair, remember me. When dancing nt the assembly ball, Amid the cheerful and the gay ; And thou the handsomest of all, Say, wilt thou cast one thought on me ? And when the youthful crowd is gone, And hushed the sounds of senseless glee, Wilt thou, before dull sleep comes on, Oh, look to Heaven and think of me ? When o’er your wearied form doth creep, The silent rest to all is given, Oh ! may you sweetly dream and sleep, And your rewards be that of Heaven ! When you arise at sunshine hour, May lovely birds sing on your tree ; Then wreathe for me hopes loveliest flower, And kindly, friendly, think of me. Remember me when spring comes on, When woods are covered o’er with flowers; When birds are flitting o’er the lawn— Oh, think of me in all those hours ! When sultry summer burns the plain, And scorching plants die on the lea; When storms are howling o’er the main, Amelia 1 oh, remember me. When autumn comes and leaves lie dead, And meadows all are brown and sear ; When singing birds away are fled, And nothing’s left that’s lovely here : When winter comes with chilling blast, And not a leaf left on the tree ; Wilt thou as long as life doth last, Kindly, oh, kindly think of me ? Oh, think cf me when all is still, When nature’s layed her charge asleep; When on each grove and purling rill, Soft silence reigns profound and deep. And Amelia, should you meet Some faithful friend of me and thee— Softly my name to him repeat, And then, oh, then remember me. MUZA. SCRAPS FROM THE GERMAN OF JEAN rAITL. Good and ill Fortune. —l le is the true poet, who remains faithful to his muse, not in adver sity, but in prosperity. The voice of genius should be, not like the wind, which is not heard till a storm is rising, but like music, that rises on a quiet and serene atmosphere. Poetry. —Poetry is not trifling, though it produce no tangible, material results. Heat, light and attraction, are all imperceptible to our senses, we know that they pervade and animate all nature, and that matter, without them, were an unformed clod. Mixture of good and bad. —Many men are good at one moment, bad at another ; and their moral qualities are like a bundle of horse-hairs, some of which may be used lor strangling, others to produce exquisite melody. General Humanity. —Life, in every shape, should be precious to us, for the same reason that thc Turks carefully collect every scrap of paper that comes in their way—because the name of God may be written upon it. Insensibility. —There are some men who live in an atmosphere of talent, without being improved by it; like fish that live in salt wa ter, yet have a flat taste themselves, and are detestable without condiments. Secret Envy. —The best of men murmur less at thc good fortune of others, even if un merited, than they do at hearing them praised undeservedly. Beauty and Goodness. —The union of beau ty and goodness, reminds us of that lustre and healing virtue in the diamond. The Present. —The Present is a narrow tongue of land, between the vest oceans of the Past and the Future. Wits. —Coldness of heart is favorable to brilliant wit, as the aurora coruscates most vi vidly in icy regions. Time. —Time is the mask of eternity. New-York Mirror. Simp/icity of Dress —l like, l confess, to see a young wife neatly dressed. There is a neatness which is perfectly compatible with plainness ; and a dress may be graceful, with out being ridiculous. 1 like a neat simplicity, because, some how or other, there appears to be a frequent connection between the outside and the inside. The exterior is, to some ex tent, a key to the interior. If I see a person dressed like a thorough-going fop, I cannot, if l would, respect the mind of the person. — Even were a future close acquaintance dis l closes to me my error, it is hard to overcome first impressions. A NEWSPAPER. “ With baked, and broiled, and stewed, and toasted, And fried, and boiled, and smoked, and roasted, We treat the town.” A public newspaper, which is conducted with a design to afford entertainment to readers of a great variety of tastes, is a complete salmr. gundi. It contains a mass of inconsistent, in coherent, heterogenous, although useful and agreeable matter. The curious, and in some cases, ludicrous advertisements, the contradic tory substance of foreign and domestic para graphs, thc opposite opinions and observations of contending correspondents, the great varie ty of editorial essays and paragraphs, some serious, some comic, some descriptive, some ; scientific, and some political, the variety ol j ship-news, deaths, marriages, markets, stocks, ■ &c., &c., form a fund of entertainment for a world, of which it is in itself no bad epitome. In a newspaper, the general tenor and ar rangement of the various articles of domestic news is not a little curious. Paragraphs are thrown together, without any regard to the subjects ot which they treat —and it is often the case that paragraphs of a character entire ly dissimilar are placed in juxta-position. It is not unfrequcntly that we find immediately after an article of a grave and moral tenor, a bon mot of a tendency somewhat equivocal— a tale of murder is followed by a witty epigram —an account of a public dinner is followed by an obituary of an alderman, or some dignitary, w ho died of appoplexy —after a long army of toasts, comes a pathetic illustration of thc evils of intemperance —a homily in favor of strong moral principles, is followed by a string of pa ragraphs detailing various cases of theft, fraud, and swindling—-an essay, showing the value of the Union, is succeeded by an article, which smacks strongly of nullification —and a neat compliment to the virtue, intelligence, and good order of our citizens, is followed by an ac count of a horrid duel, or of disgraceful ex cesses committed by a lawless mob—thus the paragraphs in a newspaper will often follow each other in the same natural order as in real life. It is also curious to observe tlie different ef fects which the various articles of intelligence have on different persons. Thus, one person will turn up his nose at an article on banks, and look for paragraphs on more frivolous sub jects ; one delights in a tale of slander; anoth er in an essay replete with pious instruction ; one is in ccstases at meeting with a violent po litical article; another eschews politics, and looks for romantic incidents or stories; one searches for scientific information, another snaps at a humorous anecdote or conundrum ; one is in raptures w ith a piece of poetry, anoth er reads eagerly thc account of the money market; one values a newsp iptr fir its numer- ous list of deaths, another for its long array of marriages. And thus a newspaper is happily calculated to hit the ordinary and unbounded prejudices of society ; to excite and put in motion all the feelings of the human mind. It is a magazine, a’toy shop, where every one may find his hobby horse ; and where all capacities and descrip tions may be regularly, at stated times, furnish ed with instruction, amusement, and informa tion. It s a well arranged table (V hotel, where are found all the luxuries, as well as thc neces- saries of life. The currency of the country is now the roast turkey of the times, and a dish equally sumptuous to the high-toned ark . tocrat, as to the loafing loco-foco ; while the latest news from Washington may be regarded as plumb-pudding, and is greedily swallowed by all; other subjects act as vegetables ; and our packets from Europe bring us condiments in abundance. Such is a newspaper of the present day ; and the family which does not take one, at least, is to be pitied. It deprives itself of an impor tant source of information and happiness. Boston Journal. THE WORLD WE LIVE IN. The Irish blunderer is sui generis; and it is not only of a class by itself, but it is of the best class. It always puzzles, which mere clownishness does not; but it always amuses by its odity, its novelty, and its humor. Os this order was the exclamation of the Irish gen tleman who, on getting a ten pound prize in the lottery, and finding that the prize was less than the money which he had paid for it, cried out, “ What luck it was that I did not get the £20,000 : I must have been entirely ruined !” An orator in the Irish House of Commons was describing the inordinate love of praise which characterised an opponent. “ The hon orable member,” said lie, “ is so fond of be ing praised, that I really believe he would be content to give up the ghost, if it were but to look up and read the stone-cutter’s pufF on his grave.” “ Contempt of money,” was the expression of another. “ The honorable member profes ses to play the philosopher. I can assure you, Mr. .Speaker, that if there is any one office that glitters in the eyes of the honorable mem ber, it is that of purse-bearer ; a pension to him is a compendium of allthe cardinal virtues. All his statesmanship is comprehended in the art of taxing ; and for good, better, and liest, in the scale of human nature, he invariably reads pence, shillings, and pounds. I verily believe.” exclaimed the orator, rising to the height of his conception, “ that if the honora ble gentleman were an undertaker, it would be the delight of his heart to see all mankind sei zed with a common mortality, that he might I have the benefit of the general burial, end pro- • vide scarves aud hat-bands for tlie survivors. The answer of one of the officers of the British brigade to the French King after an ac tion, was longasourceof amusement in France and is still on record as an histance of the preg nant brusqueric of the sons of St. Patrick. — Tlie King, in proportioning out his royal praise, observed that one of the regiments had behaved with great gallantry, “as was evident from the number of its wounded.” “Acs, your Majesty,” said thc impatient and gallant Ma jor, jealous for the honor of his own battalion, “ they behaved well ; but 1 may take leave to say, we behaved better ; they might have had many wounded, and no blame to them, but we were all killed .” This talent goes through all ranks. We re member to have 1 end a woman, w ho was scold ing her brats for some pranks, exclaim, “ well, you two little villains, if I can make nothing of you, as sure as I live I will tell both your fathers .” “ My Lord,” said a fellow condemned to be hanged for sheep-stealing, “ all I ask of your Lordship is, that I shall not be hanged on Fri day.” “Why?” asked the judge in surprise “ Because,” was the answer, “ it is always coun ted a mighty unlucky day!” “ Never be critical upon thc ladies,” was the maxim of an old Irish peer, remarkable for his homage to thc sex ; “ the only way in the world that a true gentleman ever will attempt to look at the faults of a pretty woman, is to shut his eyes.” On the late importation of the colored and figured French nightcaps, an Irish Baronet, who made a purchase of half-a-dozen of dif ferent patterns in Bond street, was asked, “ what he ment to do with so many ?” “ Why, to be sure, wear them all till I see which I like best.” “ What! in the dark ?” “No ; I sleep with a light in thc room.” “ But how does that clear up the matter, if you arc once asleep ?” “ Oh, thc clearest thing in the world. From my cradle I had a habit of sleeping with my eyes open.” “ Is there any ford here ?” asked an English tourist who came suddenly to a full stop before one of the little mountain torrents of the west of Ireland.—“ Oh, to be sure, your honor, there was a ford,” said a peasan tstanding at the brink, and making a hundred grimmaces of civility. “ When was it!” said the tourist. “Before the bridge was built,” said the peasant; “ but when man and horse went over the bridge, the tlie ford got out of the habit.” “Well, now that the bridge is broken down, I suppose the ford may have got into the habit again. Is it safe ?” “To lie sure, your honor, all but in thc middle, but that is nothing ; and if you can swim, there is not a better ford in the country.” “ But I cannot swim.” “Then, your honor, thc only safe way that I know of, is, as soon as you get out of your depth, to walk back again.” “ If we go to law,” said a wealthy landholder to his tenant, “ wc go into Chancery, and out of Chancery neither of us will ever get till we get into our graves.” “ I am of thc same opinion ; I want to get into neither the one nor thc other; so let us go to a reference,” said the tenent; “ and if the reference does not satisfy us, let the matter he settled as usual, by an umpire.” “ Well, be it so, but on this condifion,” said the man of wealth, “ that, if he cannot make a decision, we shall have umpires on both sides.” Blackwood’s Magazine. GOING THE ENTIRE. A fellow was recently met in great haste go ing towards a pill manufactory in one of our northern cities. “Hallo,Jim, which way,now, so fast ?” “ The fact is I have taken two boxes of fashionable pills, directions, boxes and all without doing me any good. I’m going to swallow the agent now, to see what effect he will have.” For the Southern Post. Lines selected from Jliss JI. L. S—'s Album. “ There doth Beauty dwell, Most conspicuous, even in outward shape, Where dawns the high expression of a mind. In life’s young hour, how sweet the charm Os Love and Beauty’s pow'r No dreams of future ills alarm, No woes and disappointments low’r. The mind is calm while Beauty breathes, And Love in Beauty’s seen ; For Hope, on wings triumphant,, wreathes A garland bright and evergreen. That garland decks the youthful brow, It points to future bliss; It whispers go, and lowly bow At Beauty’s shrine, for happiness. And oft we bow supinely low, With souls exulting high— And find her shrine, the shrine of woe, Where Hope and Love, and Pleasure die. The roseate bloom soon fades and dies, The lilly droops its head ; The pencil’d brow —the lustrous eyes, Can charm no more, for Beauty’s fled. Where now the garland Hope had wove ? Where now sweet days of bliss ? The garland’s dead !it died in Love ! The victim mourns in wretchedness. Then wisdom speaks, aye, wisdom cries I Let earthly Beauty shine ; Love only that which never dies, The living Beauty of the Mind. W. Warrenton, Georgia Among tlie sufferers by the recent fi re at New Haven, was an industrious mechanU 1 named William C. Baldwin. At the fi ie one Isaiah Gale, who rejoices in the possession of a head, but never heard of a soul, attached a small remnant of Mr. Baldwin’s propertv to secure a debt of fifty-nine dollars. S uc "h a man ought to be hurried where the sun never rises.— New- York Paper. 1 Let’s pass him round, and gather the opin. ions of the press concerning him. We think he ought to be made to get a living by chew ing paper rags of the dirtiest sort Argus. J He ought to be winked at by lightning bugs, 1 sneezed at by musquitoes,and grinned to death by wild cuts.— Bungtown Chronicle. His raiment and food should be sack-cloth and ashes—the latter from the ruins of the victims.— N. Y. Star. We think he should be compelled to live on ink soup until his countenance is changed to the blackness of his heart, and then to be em. balmed in a bag of ashes forty days and forty nights.— Rich. {ln.) Pal. He should be ‘ tetotaciously exfiunchcated.’ Watchman. He should be condemned to go on foot all the days of his life up and down Yellow Creek hills, hunting a colt, and be knocked on the head by an old grey horse at last.— TFeshr/i Herald. Ho ought to make a contract with Amos Kendall to carry the mail and get cheated out of his pay. He ought to sleep on an Arkan. sas fiat on a summer night without a mus. quito bar—be condemned to marry two wives and live with them—wait at Wellsville three days for a steam-boat, and then have one go past and not stop—to read the Globe regular. Iv—sleep in a room with one who snores—be wiggled to death by pollywogs, and buried in a tar barrel.— Wheeling Times. The wretch should be compelled to read Eli Moore’s Speech and Bennett’s Herald—phy sic off the same with lobelia—and finally end his miserable career by being kicked to death by lame grasshoppers !—Keep him agoing.— Hudson River Chronicle lie should be compelled to have his name printed on his hat in large letters while he lives, and engraved on his tombstone after his death. Pass him o n.-~-Alluny Daily Advertiser. In the first place let him be lathered with hot tar, and shaved with a broken glass bottle. Secondly, make him dance a double shuffle on a heated iron floor, and when tired almost to death, let him rest himself on a three prong, cd pitchfork. Thirdly, drive him naked thro’ a nursery of full grown barbery bushes, and afterwards kiver him up in a salt barrel.— Fourthly, sentence him to feed on Graham bread for six months, and then make him read the Bangor Daily papers, and Harry Williams' speeches. If any thing is left of him, push him along neighbors.— Boston Herald. The unfeeling monster should be made to cross the Altamaha on the back of an Alliga tor, or closely pursued by a deputy sherriff and then sent to Florida to fight thc Seniino'es. If thc Indians did not “use him up,” he should be compelled to read two or three numbers of the Boston Herald for his breakfast, and dine on one of Harrington’s still-born plays.— Brunswick Advocate. [The cold blooded villian ! plain murder is too good for him—scalp him and scrape his skull for the benefit of the science —make him sell three loads of false-pack' ed Cotton in Macon every day, and be— cooned. The Shylock! his house should be set on fire, and he te made to sit on the chimney-top and fiddle himself to death. —Devil.] A Next) Invention. —We were a short time since invited by Mr. Robert McCarty to wit ness an experiment of propelling balls without the agency of powder or steam, from a gun of an altogether novel description, invented by him some two or more years since, and put in operation about a year since. We saw it in operation with balls weighing nearly a pound, and judge it would throw with perfect ease from 500 to a 1000 halls per minute. We under, stand Mr. McCarty is about building sonic heavy guns on his plan for government.— lie can throw from an ounce to a thirty-two pound ball, and can Ire directed to any object at pleasure. No recoil, or inconvenience from heated barrel. He has a portable battery to protect those operating in the field from mus. ketry or grape. The balls are let into the cen. tre, and discharged out of a barrel on the peri' phery of a circle, the ball going off on a tan. gent. He can give the balls the velocity ot fourteen miles per minute. We think there is no calculating the value of the invention. Y e undetstand that some pirates have been trying to rob Mr. McCarty of the invention in this country, have failed, and have lately started (ot Europe. They will, no doubt, when they rive there meet their reward, and we hope th* inventor will his. n. Y. Evening Star. Grace After Meat. —One day at the table of thc late Dr. Pcarse, (Dean of Ely) just as the cloth was being removed, the subject o discount happened to that of an extraordinarv mortality amongst the lawyers. “We have lost,” said a gentleman, “ not less than six erni' nent barristers in as many months.” The deal / who was quite deaf, rose as his friend finishe his remarks, and gave the company grace “ For this and every other mercy , the Loro ? name be praised,” The effect was irresis tible.