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THE .MACON TELEGRAPH: SUNDAY MO-RNING, JULY 12, 3896.
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HOFF SIMS;& BRO
Corner Third Street and
Bargain Lane,
Macon, Ga. •
An American who lives In Europe anl
mingles with the higher classes has
lately written an Interesting letter to
the San Francisco Argonaut on the
subject of International marriages.
This geneleman, who preters to con
ceal his Identity, says some plain rind
sensible things and writes as though
he knew whereof he speaks. The sub-
. Ject Is of great Interest Just now, and
any light Is welcome. Hts last sentence
contains the pith of his Ideas: "I deem
It Inadvisable, generally speaking, for
American girls to marry Europeans,
least of all Europeans of the Latin
races. Of course, as I pointed, out,
there are exceptions.”
In the course of the letter he says:
“The American girl or young widow
ns a marriageable person has come to
be appreciated In Europe as much, ndy,
more, on the continent than in Eng
land. There are several reasons ; for
this, one being that the- average Amer
ican girl Is handsomer than the average
Europeangirl: another^ Ding that .she—:
or her‘paint or her guardlan-fIs sup
posed to have, 1 and of ten • does have,
more money than her; European, sjstpr,
arid still another, though not so potent
factor, being ‘that the American' girl
Is Intellectually ippre gifted, brighter,
a more Interesting creature, than Is her
European sister on an average. The
ahpvo three facts have Just begun to
be generally known In those European
circles tjomlnff-Uere junder considera
tion; hence it Is probable'that the riiar-
rylng and giving In marriage of the
American girl to well-connected young
Europeans will Increase Instead of de
creasing Hereafter/ -
"In. most Instances American girls,
when marrying Europeans, do so for
two yeaspns, one being that they wlsli
to spend’-'their lives In 1 highly cultured;
more or less aristocratic and exclusive
society, and the other being that they
believe the life of this society In Eu
rope to bo a more enjoyable one than
would be the case In America and with
an American husband, other things ke-
lhg equal. In this twofold supposition
the American girl Is often quite wrong,
rarely quite right. If she marries, for
Instance, Into a family belonging to the
privileged classes she is regarded to the
last In the light of an Interloper. And
this no matter what she or her hus
band, or even the whole family may
do to the contrary, cute spirit In Eu
rope being too Btrong and too Insur
mountable to be overcome, even by a
very "smart” American girl. Again,
where she escapes, by her European
marriage, a number of peculiarly
American annoyances she exchanges
them for as many or more peculiarly
European ones. The whole life of the
upper classes hero Is, Just to mention
one thing, so highly artificial, and so
full of the minutest care to he taken
at' every step that few American-born
women, oven after a long training,
grow accustomed to It or learn to ac
commodate themselves thoroughly to
It all.
"A rccenlt Incident a/t one of the oourt
halls to Dresden odtria* Mb my Mai Jtd
illustrate this. The young Amarloan
girl in question is the duugbter of
wealthy and. dWttogulrihed 'Baltimore
ans, and »We, being very pretty besides
and tilgflily gifted In mind as troll,
found no greolt difficulty-In ofiririfn'ror
an invitation tb Itho festivity ifitaift night
(court rules arid cWquott* being often
somewhat relaxed on IUI>e continent, no
tably a‘t the smaller nounls, for the
pleasure o* receiving some charming
HWTe Americalne). Her costume that
night wtis. of course, slbove reproach;
of 'that she had token good core and. at
first, she was much admired; and she
had also an rirraprcoehaWe chaperon
with her. Bull her manners—b-r-r!
Without intnfdtog to do e>, without be
ing aware of tt, she trxmngresser. thtalt
evening -nearly every paragraph in the
CjAe of behavior. unMt she was, when
supper time arrived, fairly tabooed an I
o Urarianri. Her final faux pas—aha said
ranker audibly, though In Bngl'ah, that
rh> ecu (Tied pheasant on her plate was
n:lr on good as an American canvao
back duck and raid this Just, when a
royal prince, nephew of the king, con
versed wSMi'nlhcr Wearingi-brok-e her
rook, to to speak. At omy hete she was
shunned by, a'l the rest of the evening
and .the king peroomily requested tlx?
colt; marshal HU be a little more care
ful la the milker of Invitations for the
future. AU this was simply due to Che
fa;; than the girl whs nog used to sue*
a highly arCftoial atmosphere as flb-
t.».ta3 a* oatnth irnd probably rt.-yrr
could got- used 4o ft, her very blood,
her training, bar mode of thought, be
ing- ■as'aSnrtt It, ' .
■ From all the individual coses I know
of, hath hero In Germany and in Aus
tria arid the Scandinavian north, I
should nay thuft marriage between na
tives of those countries and American
girls are much more nicety to be baippy
—or, at leant. not unhappy—than with
nwives of Italy. Sputa or Ftunx,
wh earimala of. women differ much
more nrat’rially from the American es
timate than dote the German one.
However. Ugb-spIrJted. «elf-wflled
Am-iri-.n girls are not advised ever to
marry even a German or Austrian or,
or Swede, as they are not nearly
so liable Ho have their way as when
they marry an American- Hero the
wife—ctoo well-bred ortttodox, average
W'lfo-is expedit'd 'to ibo.w dttwtn. and
submit, to her.Ii)UtibanU,,flguraHl,vely alt
leaeit. She rnust lkott a'ttempt' to ettt up
hor, jvays of ithtaking above ,*(«, an he
is supposdd'/to «k> (he KhitaMng for her.
Arad the law goe3 even farther tlhan
cuiJCom—'by law.«. German husband Is
allow-ed to otas'ttee Ms wife—‘mMly. so
aa .-ncitito pemvaweritly Injure her.' Even
the hew civil code now being consid
ered 'In the relohntag has rutiatned this
proviso. Arad divorce la difficult to ob
tain here, and only for a few reasons.”
A STUDY IN TEAKS.
Mrs. Julia Bee Sinks 'Notes Some Ob
servations That Are Striking.
In the course of a long life, I have
often- noted the different phases of hu
man tears, and especially thdr causes
and conditions.
Some were tears of woe, some of vex
ation, some of wounded pride: others
again Were a kind of pastime tears,
that, like a brook-rippled over shal
low beds—tears which-might easily be
-turned into laughter,.but the eloquence
of tears was absent.
I Wave seen, woe. so rigid, so strong,,
that It refused tears; no striking of the
rock could bring them forth. These
teara were held back by an adamanlin?
will, but 'these pent-up. Invisible grief
pearls shewed,their whereabouts by a
look of suffering strain. - . t >
Others again were bears of vexation,
at some 111 which crossed an ambition,
though the surroundings seemed all
thalt heart could trifdi or ask for. Yet
some‘little thing,, soyght and not Ob
tained. caused - tsars* of vexation to Is
sue -forth in tocrenlts, when IWI who
had ho part in' tjierii.
'And others again, -nearer aftta jo woe,
came at the bidding of Volin,led prl-jle.
Pride, In some form, assimilates Itself
so. much with oil our. emotions 'that to
wound It seems In a-measure', to mar
ourselves. ATubtband-.a child, a friend,
may'glve the stroke. The husband may
wound through like of appreciation—
that dearest of -feelings fo : qn hohpst
woman's heart; The child through fail
ure, to the parent's exaggerated hopes,
and a friend -through friendship .betray
ed. David -the psalmist felt keenly this
wound and -maybe with- bitter tears, for
ho often wept, when /he wrote: "Even'
my own familiar friend hath lifted up
his-heel against me!”
And how many tears have been shed
on the shattered -hopes of life? Hopes
of expectation that were fed and nour
ished by endearing thoughts, patient
hopes, watting for a better day, some
times partially, realized, but often, so
often, dead and burled, and out of the
grave of which came a fountain of bit
ter tears, a stream of "Mora, on the
hanks of which no hyssop grows!”
It seems strange to write tt but the
moat eloquent tears that I e-csji saw
were from the .eyes of a-dog and two
boys!
The dog had been raised a'pot, wash
ed and combed like a child by an --!
derty lady.-and allowed to sleep"on. the
foot of her bed. The aidy sickened and
died, ....
On tho night of her death she was
removed to another room, and some
friends, myself among them, were pre
paring her for burial. As we finished,
the gentleman of the house, her son-in-
law. came to the door and said:
• "Com; and nee a strange sight!"
We -followed to the old lady's ofiran-
her, and there, on the toot of the bed,
from which she had been removed, lay
the little dog, with eyes filled with
Wars, and .resting on bis face genuine
tear drops! - This was pathetic, to see a
dumb onfmai without the power of
speech, express Its grief -for *fs bereave
ment in tears. What the physical or
ganization of a dog Is for tears I do
not know, but this Is a verity, for I
can vouch for the tears, but not for the
lachrymal glands. This much for the
woee of the dog, and now for the boys.
At a very bumble home npsr where I
lived I was railed to sea a little baby
die. A young relative, a boy of tender
years, clad Iri rustic suit, stood near
with clench'-d .hands, while the other
era of the family were expressing
their grieft In weep'rag and wailing.
The little boy was soon missing. I
walked out In the bock yard to breathe
freely, and, at the back) of the house,
quite atone, with his bead leaning
^against it, stood the boy. He vu a
plain-looking child, ■and coarsely clad,
with..hts little barej’toee crushed in
the earth beneath' him. I went up to
him and, patting my hand on hla head,
said: • *
“Are sorry for -Dodyf
<He lifted up tits head and- looked at
le without speaking a .Word, tears
standing In hla great blue eyes, and
with a face, of such unutterable woe
there seemed" no utterance for It. Elo
quence seemed a weak word for this!
At a far-out western-dwelling, a .very
-n>ely place, like mec,of the habita
tions of early sutlers, I once attended
the fun. rai of af mother. *W<- arrived too
early for tb* i-i-et-ee, arid - the reofii
was vacant, except the dead mother,
who was placed under an open win
dow. I tat some distance sway, and a
homely clad frontier boy, evidently
thinking the room was vacant, came to
tha window. Ho whs of strong mold,
and old enough to know and feel' the
absence o-f the life that had passed
away from Mm. -
He crossed his arms on the window
sill and gave vent to 'the deepest throes
of grief, oonvutslng the -frame of the
sturdy iboy. 'A-mid Ms paroxysms Me
would reach, his hand -through, placing
It on the dead mother, with, a wall of
woe so strong, so -deep, so struggling
for utterance, that l turned from It sick
at heart.
I on-ce Saw a ploture Called "Dead In
the Desert” that reminded me in Its
strength and power of a huge Hon,
with howtlng head lifted, and a paw
laid on Wo dead mate.
Among all .tears, these tears of tho
rugged boy seemed most eloquent, no
trappings of wealth, no surroundings
of luxury, but nature, true nature,
stood for itself, in all Us native elo
quence. Julia Lee Sinks.
PANIC IN A STREET CAB.
A Snake, n Chicken, a Negro and a
Colored Woman the Participants.;
From tlio Philadelphia Times.
In New Orleans a earful of passengers
on the Carrollton line witnessed n pretty
lively scrimmage the other-evening bo-
tween n good-sized black snake niul a
young spring pullet, with a negro cotton
roller and an old colored nuntio playing
insignificant parts. -• -
■: The cotton roller; who gave Ills name
as Peter Hnskliis, got on somewhere low
down town at n side street, carrying his
icotton hook In his hand, and n tin''lunch'
pail swung on his'arm. Tile car was pret-'
I.v crowded and Peter got a scat In a
close place net to the old auntie, who
carried an open market basket, sitting
prominent In evidence on'her Jap. It'was
evident that Peter and Alintlc 'were riot
acquainted and the old Woman did not
seem to relish having him In such close
proximity to her, so she turned her broad
hack upon him find sniffed the air from
the open window. Meantime Peter was
sleepy and no doubt fired, from his
day's labors, he crouqhed In his meagre
share of space and properly dozed.
Presently the passengers were startled
ont of their wits by hearing some lively
squawking from a chicken and three
good-sized .veils from tho old nuntio, and
were astounded beyond measure when
they discovered the cause, which proved
to bo a that a trig sleek blaeksnako was
poking Its. In-ad from Peter's bucket anil
making manful efforts to get himself
outside of s young pullet that lay upper-
moat In the old woman's basket. The
punlo In the ear can better lie imngincd
Ihnn drwerlbed. There were screams and
yells from the women and every mnu In
the ear fried to ring the hell at once.
The only, person with any presenco of
mind whs Peter. Grabbing tho anake
round the middle with his cotton hook
he twisted it loose from its hold on the
pullet and soon beat Ms life out on tho
floor of the, car. The old, auntie was ns
tnud'ae mod could be, and declared ber
chicken was "plsen."
She furthermore asked peler If bo car
ried tho reptile ” "bout aid 'Ira to do hfs
elonlln," hut peter seemed to ho as much
astonished tU file presence of the snake
as anylsidy else. He says be always take*
his dinner to the warehouse with him,
and when he has finished eating, he sots
the bucket down behind the cotton bales
for safe-keeping. Yesterday evening when
he started home lie reached behind the
briles for his bucket as usual, hut was
surprised to find It open. It was pretty
dark In flic corner of the big warehouse,
hot tho 'op was lying by the hneket, so
he Just tirited It on and slipped the pall
over hla nnn and started home.
No doubt tho snake had been bruising
around seeling what he might devour,
rind, rinding the remnants of Peter's ba-
Coo and eonibread Inviting, had crawled
In to partake thereof, being tempted to
reappear when the close proximity of tho
oil auntie's pnllet again net his senses
agog.
' Young Honeymoon called hV> wife' a
dumpling. But ten minutes Inter, when
he told her she was too heavy to hold
On Ills lap, and she reminded him that
at dinner he said he dld't like heavy
dumplings, their first quarrel loomed'up
on the horizon.—Yonkers Statesman.
WHAT LOVE CAN DO.
I.
The aky was draped with somber
clouds,
A chill was in the air;
My love was cold and gloominess
Extended everywhere.
I mingled with the busy throng.
And scanned the faces there;
Each eeemed a living mirror of
Bereavement or despair.
o
My loved one omlled upon me and
The world was bright again;
E'en though the wind blew from the
north
It did nqt chill me then.
Again I mingled with the throng,
And saw but gladness when .
I peered into the faces of j
Those erst unhappy men.'
-Cleveland Nytvs-Herald.
The Experiment at the Lambs' Club
Gambol Which -Hastened, If It Did
Not Cause, Hla Death.
From the 'New York Bun.
"Various men: the best one being a
Russian, have given exhibitions In
New York during tho last halt dozen
years of what they alleged to be mind
reading," said a physlctan at the
Lambs' club one night last week. "Be
ing Interested In the subject, I hnvo
seen them nil. They wore simply more
or tea* clever exhibitions of muscle
reading. There ore several man In- this
club, and Harry 'Dixon Is one of them,
who can duplicate every act of three
so-called mind reader*. Not one of
them-, -however. Was hver duplicated
the trick that Washington Irving
Bishop performed In- this club half u
dozen year* ago. I knew -Blahop well
rand I was present on that occasion.
His death a few hour* lR-ter An a cata
leptic fit-which was apparently the cli
max of rihe Intense nervous excitement
Incident to : the successful performance
of -t-ho feat'.- wne accepted by many of
hie friends a proof C 'bte claim that
he did hla so-called mjAvivadlng while
In a aeml-hyp«»tlc'';»ffV>^!on. I don't
know enough- about hypnotism to af-
llirm or deny that assertion.
"Blshop’*l la-s-t feat hns never -been
explained to my satlanoctlbn. PrevEou?
‘ to'that fatal evening I have frequently
seen Bishop's exhibitions, and I had al
ways been skeptical of- his cla»m that
he possessed any other power thin that
of expert muscle reading. I satd after
Ms death, nn-d I say It now, that In my
opinion -the feat that Bishop did In this
club on the evening before his death
cainnot bo accounted for upon any the
ory of knop-n science nr medicine. It
was and la, a -mystery."
“Did you, ever moke a physical ex-
amtnatlongf -Bishop?" askol one of tho
lltt'lo group that had Icon discussing
musolie re*dip*.
"Yea, several times," replied tho doc
tor. “He was a remarkable man phys
ically. He wa« a man or medium size
and rather slender built, but despite
the fact that he took no care or hla
health, he,.had a wonderrul muscular
development. HI* arms and back were
strongly developed. Ho was or an ex
cessive n-ervoua temperamerit, and hla
motheu said that he Hod been subject
to cataleptic fits trom the age of 6. On
several occasions *ft«r these fVlo the
doctors who were stsmmonod to ntt-ond
him said -that he wa* dead. Tho fits
usually followed some mental exertion,
At the time when Blahop drove blind
folded through the streets from the
Hoffman house to the Gramercy Park
hotel and found a pin which a commit
tee of well known men had hidden In
the latter house, I found that tils pulse
wa* 152. Bishop Wlmartf told me that
the highly nervoua condition In which
he was thrown by performances of this
sort was a proof to him that 'there was
an abnormal state of mind developed
in hla work.
“Do I Mievo thnt? I can simply say
that I don't know. I am skeptical of
Bishop's claims, but I followed him
closely ll,e night before be died and he
mystified me. Two or three of you v
here that night, lint I don’t believe that
you watched Bishop ns I did, and I know
thnt none of you sought an explanation
of his feat at I.
"Harry Dixie brought Bishop a* his
guest to that 'gambol,' and about mid
night lie went away. Bishop seemed fo be
In good health and spirits. I talked wilh
him for a few minutes and then be said;
" 'Feel my arm.'
“It was as firm as iron and be was
vety proud of It. Later in the evening
I asked him to give an exhibition of his
powers. He was In She hurner, tail he
began, with what he called the 'detect
ive trick.’ This little Russian who has
been giving exhibitions here this winter
does much the same thing. It Is sim
ply snnsclo reading. Bishop left tho
room and a member of the club took s
small dagger and made the motion of
stabbing Louis Aldrich. The dagger was
concealed. Bishop was brought In blind
folded, with Ibe hand of (be man who
had concealed the dagger In hla own
hand. His quickness was one of the
strong points In hts performances. With
out a moment's hesitation he walked
to where the dagger was hidden, and
then walking to where Louis'Aldrich
was seated went through the motion af
•tabbing him. There was applause but
Bishop tore off the bandage from his
eyes and said:
- DEATH'B FEAT.
'• That’* an easy one.. Wait and I'll
•how you one that yon never saw before
and I’ll guarantee that no one else can
do It/
"It was this fact that undoubtedly hast
ened his death. If it did not really cause
It. He asked Clay Green to think of
some word la the club's book of accounts
or record*. Mr. Green aud Dr. J. A.
Irwin, an acquaintance of Bishop's who
had dropped lu while be was perform
ing hfs last trick, went down stairs where
these good* are kept and found In the
drib’s minute book a name, Margaret
Townsend, I think It was. I watched
Bishop doaely. He wa* more nervous
than I had ever seen him before. Mr.
Oretn'and Dr. Irwin bid the minute book
and came upstairs. Bishop was blind
folded ns before, and with Mr. Green's
hand resting on Ida he led the party down
stairs, found the mlmitc hook, and,
turning over the pages rapidly, camn nt
last to the page on which this nnme ap
peared. He stopped for a second, anil
then, skimming hts finger over the page,
settled on tuo word selected.
" ‘Is that It?' ho naked In n nervous
way. Being told that It was, lie Id
the way hack up stairs niul announced
thnt ho would tell wlint the word wn>
in n manlier that would demonstrate ub-
solutely that muscle reading hud nothing
10 do with this feat.. Bishop asked every-
nno to aland brick. Without touchtug
-Sir. Green lie nsked him to think intent
ly of the word thnt hail been selected.
Bishop stood apparently In a state only
hnlf consciousness. Tho bandage cov
ered his eyes and a part of his face.
There wit perfeot silence In the room
for nearly a minute, anil then Bishop,
speaking with difficulty, said:
“ ‘I think it Is a nnme. I think It Is n
mini's name/ In this Intter statement
Ini wns wrong, as It happened. 'Give mo
something to write with,’ lie went on.
"Some one gave him n piece of paper
niul n pencil. Without n moment's hesi
tation Bishop wrote the word 'Towns
end,' but he wrote it reversed, ns It
would appear in a mltror were the pa
per on which tho word was written rc-
fiected there. ^
" 'There It is,' lie said, HIM as the spec
tators deciphered the nnine mid hurst
lulu upi-huiHe In- stiffened <"it nod sunk
back unconscious,
"Sovcrnl physicians present quieted Hie
fears of the club men liy telling them
Hint Bishop was subject to rutnlcptic
fils, mid that, there wns probably no
dmigcr. He was revived, mid when he
wns able to sit ho nsked that the pliysl-
Mims should - explain that the peculiar
backward fashion In which the name Imd
hecn written - might be accounted for by
the fiiet that the original reflection of
everything seen by the eye Is Inverted,
ns In n mirror, mid Is reversed by the
optic lens on the wny to tho brain. Bish
op alleged that what he Imd written wns
the exact copy of what appeared In ids
eye, and wns written by him without
miy conscious Intervention. He wns In n
highly excited state mid we look him to
n private room upstairs. He seemed
greatly elated over the carrcss of his
feat end Insisted on repenting It, al
though Dr. Irwin forhndc Ids doing so.
Opposition seemed only to excite him,
mid he wns permitted to repent the feat.
Tbia lime lie bnd grent difficulty in ac
complishing It, nnd when It wns over lie
wns completely prostrated- He had fre
quent spasms, and at 4 o'clock he went
Into n comn, which lasted until his death,
which occurred almut noon.
■There wns a good deal printed nbout
Bishop’s dentil, mid ninny different sto
ries were told nbout Ids feats hero Just
before it. My statement of them Is cor
rect. Bishop's feat of writing out tho
nnmo Townsend Hint bod been selected
wns not muscle rending evidently. Borne
of the so-called mind renders who have
followed him con find n ccrlnin word on
u printed page by muscle rending, and
then they write It out by going through
the letters of tho nlplinliet mid putting
them down one by one, as the muscles
of Hie guide are bound to indicate. There
was no one touching nisbop. I have seen
too ninny evidences of telegraphy to
telepathy lo doubt If, hut excejit In this
prio Instance I have never known n person
to feel nnntlier'a thoughts so elenrly that
they could write them down. Bishop was
n mystery to me, and he nlwoys will be,
unless a man appears who can duplicate
the feat which resulted In his death, mid
who Is nble to explain how he (kies it. I
am Inclined to believe thnt Bishop wns
perfectly sincere In his belief that he
accomplished bla feata by hypnotic In
fluence, bnt I am not ready to admit
thnt that was the explanation of them.”
A MOON8HINKIVB TRICK,
How a Revenue Officer Wcut Outwitted
by a Pretty Young Glr.
The tricks of the moonshiner arc
many, but one of tho moat Ingenious
was revealed not long ago In North
Carolina. For some time revenue offi
cials have had reason to believe an Il
licit etll wan In operation rear Bpcke-
vllle. An agent named Dickson was sent
from Washington to Investigate.
Dickson proceeded to the designated
locality, and while making his way
through the woods one evening loet hla
bearings. He stopped at tho roodelde
for a moment to decide the best way to
out of hla difficulty when suddenly
a bicycle, ridden by an attractive girl,
whirled around a turn In the road. Ho
accosted the young woman. Inquired
the way, and was directed by her to
her father's farmhouse.
On arriving thcr the farmer Insisted
on hla staying all night, and he did so.
It was a case of love at- first sight.
Moonshiners wer forgotten In the next
few days- Within a week he had hlv
own wheel sent by exphess. Every day
be and the girl, whose name was Bailie
Newman, went out together, starting
from the form In the afternoon, fre
quently stopping at the residence of Bai
lie'* aunt In the village for dinner, and
then going home in the moonlight.
Week* aped by, until one day Dick
son reclved an order from Washington
to return home, his mission having
proved fruitless. Sadly he started out
with Bailie for a final ride. Awuy she
sped, nn<l ho wns sorely tried to keep
at her side. Neither noticed the frag
ments of a. pane of window glass
dropped on the road by soqio unlucky
farmer uattl too late.
'•Hold on—our tires are punctured!"
shouted Dickson. "Why, whftt'H that?"
he added, gazing with amazement at a
tiny stream of liquor spurting from
both front and rear tlrea. A moment
taler the whole situation dawned upon
him. "Oh, you little moonshiner," he
murmured, nnd then ho let lila wind
fall and sprang to catch flalle, who
had swooned.
For six weeks the valiant Dickson
had been assisting unawares tin- moon-
shlners by carrying whisky In Ids pneu
matic Hrcs, Insert'd at the farm house
and deftly removed by Aunt Jane ia
the village.
A WORLD WRECKER.
A French Funny Man Writes a Take
off on Edison.
The astonishing progress of electrical
science is neatly 'sallrlzcd by a Pari
sian newspaper, which Imagines Mr.
Edison In hla laboratory hearing the
news- of a declaration of war between
Orent Britain and the United Htntes.
A young man, liln assistant, rushes In,
pale and out of breath, end exclaims to
the grent electrician:
"Oil, master, war Is declared! It Is
jcrrllile!’
"All" s.iya tho master. "War de
clared, eh? Ami where Is the Hrn(sh,~
nrmy nt this moment?"
"Embarltlpg, sir." ;:: .-
“Embarking where?" '
("At Liverpool."
"At Liverpool—yc*. Now, my friend,
would you please Join the end* of
Jhoso two wires hanging there against
tho wall? That's right. Now, bring
them to me. Oood! And ho kind enough
to press that button.”
The asslxtant, wondering and half
amused, prcf-ac Hie button.
"Very weir," says the inventor, "Now,
do you know what ia taking plaoe at
Liverpool?"
"Tho Brltlah army Is embarking,
fir." *
: "Thff inventor pulls out hi* watch
R-nil rUwcw ait the time.
‘ "There In no British army," hr* *ny»,
coolly,.
"What?" corcamcd tho a*ftf«tnnt.
"When you touched the button you
destroyed U."
"Oh, till* In frightful I"
"It la not frightful nt nil. Tt t« *e|<*uce.
Now. <• v cl y Min.* Mi.u a Brltlah ♦•xid'-
rlftlon cinburks at any port pl«*as«
como ami toll me .at once. Ten second*
fiflfrw.'Trl it will Hlmjily tie out of *:x-
jutenee; that’* all."
"There doean-'t aeem to bo any rea«on
why AmerVca should be afraid of her
rnomlCH after thin, *Ir,"
"I utn inollned to believe you,” nay*
tho m;iHlf*r, rmllitiK slightly. “But In
order tr> avert future trouble I think it
would be bent to destroy England al
together."
'To—to destroy Enghtml, *lr '*
"Kindly touch button No. 4 there."
The fiwglatant touche* It. The In
ventor counta ten."
, eight, nine, ten—It’* all over.
Therein no more England."
"Now we can go quietly on with our
work," nay* the ma*ter. "And If wo
should over be at war with any other
nation, you havo only to notify me. I
have an el<*etrlc button connected with
every foreign country which will d*»
»rtroy It when prewed. In ten minute* r
tan ik atroy every country In the world,
frhe United Stnje* Included. carol
fill, now, that you don't touch any of
theae button* accidentally—you might
do a lot of damage."—Philadelphia
Ledger, ^ -
BTRONG AS DEATH. 9|
O death, when thou »>halt conn* to me
From out thy dark, where «be i» now,
Como not with grave yard umell on thee,
Or withered rose* on thy brow.
Como not, O Death, with hollow tone.
And aoumllf*** atop, and elnmrny hand;
Lo. I am no I^a alone
Than In thy desolate, doubtful land;
But with that Aweet and fabric *cent
That ever rhmg ;ri»out lo r (mn*h
Af with all thing* t>he f>nifli**d was
blenO;
And with her quick and tender touch.
With the dim gold that lit her hair,
Crown thyself, Death; let fall thy
thrend
So light that 2 might dream her there,
And turn upon my dying bod,
And through my chilling vein*
My love, am though beneath herbreai
And in her \oi< e tmt « ;»l| my name*
And I will follow thee, O Deoth.
— If. C. Bunnor, in “Air* from Arcady.
"Doe* MU* a uaIj in toil's father
with favor on your suit?
"I think mo; he always lets me
for the drinks."—Detroit Free FrMh
(