Newspaper Page Text
Wise and Otherwise.
Men are apt to fret and worry,
But, what’s the use?
When too late they always hurry,
But what’s tire use?
Just to keep business boomin’
Men do lots of things inhuman—
Even argne wiih a woman,
But what’s the use?
Too many cooks spoil the diges-
tion.
The naked truth is usually a
cold fact.
Every fool is fascinated by his
own folly.
Deaf mutes are always married
on the quiet.
The old maid doesn’t believe in
new wrinkles.
Weather vain—The successful
prognosticator.
April showers bring May flow¬
ers-—and mild.
The hands of a clock never go
out on a strike.
It is misdirectod sympathy to bet
on the under dog.
The only faith to die by is the
one you can live by.
An ounce of ability is worth a
shelf-full ofj learning.
To err is human, to forgive is
sometimes superhumau.
The armless wonder is forced to
be handy with his feet.
No, Maude, dear, fortune tellers
are not employed in banks.
When a girl becomes a Mrs.
she objects to being Missed.
It seems queer that shoe leather
should not be sold by the foot.
Some fellows haven’t enough
push to master a wheelbarrow.
Impulse raises the dust on the
road, but persistence reaches the
goal.
The person who is t-oooftenput
-to the test naturally becomes
testy.
The girl who is faithful to her
ideal is apt to remain an old
maid.
Don’t stop to ask: the devils
pardon if you tread on his toes;
do it again.
The fellow who starts out to
paint the town red doesn’t use
water colors.
Some people seem to think that
all the exercise they need is work¬
ing their jaws.
The successful fisherman knows
what it is .to have his lines cast in
pleasant places.
A man who knows he is his own
worst enemy gets along pretty
well without others.
When fortune knocks at a man’s
door it’s his own fault if the
knocker is out of order.
A good many people are willing
that God should order their lives,
provided they can order him.
No man can hope to become an
astronomer by directing his glass¬
es toward the stars of a burlesque
show..
Don’t be deceived by appear-
auees. The clock that lias the
loudest tick may have been bought
ou time.
It doesn’t make much difference
whether March goes out like a
lion or a lamb, just as long as it
goes out.
A Chicago young man broke off
his engagement because he found
his finance’s false hair on the par¬
lor table. His life was wrecked
by a misplaced switch so to speak.
Clara—They say Nell is going to
marry a man old enough to be her
grandfather. didn
Maude—Is it possible! I t
suppose there tvas a mail living
that old.
“I like you very much, Mr. Ar-
dup, : ’ the heiress said, “but I can¬
not marry you.” “I will be
equally frank, Miss Bullion,'’ he
rejoined, picking up his hat. “I
don’t like you at all, but I would
marry you in a minute I am more
self-sacrificing than you are.
Good evening.”
The following is going ii, the
rounds of the country press: “The
meanest man I ever heard of,”
said a citizen, “was a feller that
lived in the same township with
me and wanted an education. So
he set to work and courted
a school ma’am for about two
and when she had taught him
.he knew he gave her (he
and went to law.”
’isunderatood Patriotism.
Professor Alfred B. Adams, of
New York, was a soldier in the
civil war > ftnd took part in the
Ked River campaign under Major
Geiierel Nathaniel T. Banks.
‘‘At one time,’’ he said recently
to one of his classes, “we
prised sur¬
a southern garrison and
took manv prisoners. They were
guarding the mountain of cotton
hales which were intended for
shipment to E urope on account of
the southern government. Gen.
Banks promptly confiscated the
cotton and transferred it to his
flotilla. Each bale was stencilled
‘C. S. A,’ and over this the north-
ern soldiers with marking
brushes wrote in huge characters,
‘ U S> A.’ I guard
’ was on at the
time, and one of my prisoners, a
handsome, bright-eyed young
southern officer, said: ‘Yank,
what’s that writing there?’
“I looked proudly at him as I
replied: ‘The United States of
America over the Confederate
Stales of America. Can’t you
read—U. S. A. over C. 8. A.?’
‘‘He looked at me quizzically.
‘Thank you, he said. ‘Do you
know I thought it was United
States Cotton Stealing Associa¬
tion;,
“The next question he put to
I didn’t answer.”—.Philadelphia
Post.
The Laugh Was on Reed.
A good story is told in West
Virginia involving two of the
congressmen from that snug little
State, and Thomas B. Reed, the
gigantic speaker of the last House,
says Success, The two West Vir¬
ginians are Hon. Blackburn B.
Dovener and Hon. Romeo Hoyt
Freer. Both are small iu stature,
are wonderfully alike in their
general appearance. Together
they went up to the ponderous
Maine man to be introduced.
“Humph!” said Mr. Reed, “is
that the best the Persimmon State
can do?”
“What do you mean?” asked
Mr. Freer.
“Nothing,” drawled the ele-
phiutine speaker. “I was only
wondering at the uniformity of
things down your way. I suppose
the horses are ail ponies and the
persimmons aii dwarfs—”
“Well,” interrupted Mr. Freer,
“there is one thing in our favor,
the persimmon has more taste
than the pumpkin.”
The laugh was on the speaker,
and he acknowledged it by cor¬
dially grasping the hands of the
Liliputians and joining in U13
merriment.—Albany Herald.
Just Any Old Place.
It is interesting to note the va¬
rious newspaper ventures through¬
out the country. There are some
people who have no more judg¬
ment than to start a paper at a
crossroads with one store and a
postoffice, It reminds us of a
strong, stalwart negro giving up a
paying salary to buy a craw-fish
bottom and a mule to begin farm¬
ing on his own hook. It is a craze
to get the title of “Ed. and Prop.”
Of course failure almost always
follows such undertakings, and il
not absolute failure, it is just a
to get along. And one fre¬
sees good talent behind
these papers; but it is a light un¬
der a bushel, for circumstances
against him, and no amount of
energy will pull him through.
There is room and a pretty good
living in each county for one pa¬
per, and room in each town with
from 1,500 to 6,000 inhabitants
for one. More than this is too
many, and they can’t prosper.
They may drag along; but a man
with ambition had better not
spend bis days in trying to build
up a town or community to where
it will pay.— Moultrie Observer
. .
Pursuant to a call from Lair-
man Frank Park, severa mem-
bers of the democratic Executi ve
committee of W orth county an a
-tT” Isa be naming Ha Tues-
dav d i for the purpose of a
Jctino Fxecutive committee and
T transac ° other important brought busi-
ness meeting wa6
rcier a io-80 a. m., by the
to o ’ considerable
chairman, ^
discussion i * dec jded to ca'l a
mee.u-g ^ democratic
mass Tuegda ^ w hich
voters mV n ^ J^.^re
j as done a= ^ ^ gge|(
w T]li8 j8amee tingof
J in this wsu®.. aild will
--
LOCAL AFFAIRS
Things That Happen About Town.
Personal Ideation Etc.
Be sure you register.
Jack Corley is visitiug iu the
city.
Spring time at last put in an
appearance.
Mr. W. C. Hamilton, of Seville,
was here Monday.
Messrs. Bridgets, Everett & Co.
rode bicycles out to Pleasant Hill
Sunday.
Mr. R. Paulk attended court at
Irwinville this week, returning
Wednesday.
Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Daniels at¬
tended church services at Pleas¬
ant Hill Sunday.
Mr. P. E. Hudson has been pro¬
moted to the position formerly
held by Mr. J. F. Jenkins.
Quite a number of Ashburnites
will attend the mass meeting at
Isabella next Tuesday.
Slap the average man on the
left arm above the elbow, if you
want to hurt his feelings.
Mr. Howard, who was formerly
employed by Betts & Co., passed
through the city Thursday enroute
home.
Col. J. T. Hill, ODeof Cordele’s
most prominent attorneys, was
here on professional business Sat¬
urday.
Mr. R. D. Law is again with the
Singer Machine Co. liis services
have always been satisfactory to
Singer Co.
Mr. A. J. Bailey, formerly of
th>s city, but now of Olympia,
visited relatives here several days
this week.
We regret to learn of the con¬
templated departure of Mr. Egbert
Jones and family. They will re¬
side near Lenox.
The candidates are beginning
to show up, and just what the re¬
sult will be is veiled in the dim
vista of the future.
Fincher’s is the place to visit
when in seach of the latest novel¬
ties in ladies’ head wear. April
10th is opening day.
Marshal Hallman has been busy
at work with a force of hands for
a week on College avenue and it is
now in fine condition.
Job work payable weekly ; ad¬
vertisements payable monthly;
other than contract advertising
due after first insertion.
Communications endorsing any
candidate will be charged for at
the legal rate, payable in advance.
No exception to this rule.
When in need of anything in
the roillenery line don’t forget
that J. C. Fincher has the very
latest in up-to-date Easter hats.
Prof. Cheek is giving vocal in¬
t,o a large class at the
Auditorium in the afternoon and
at the Methodist church at night.
The Advance is glad to note
that Col. White has sufficiently
recovered to be at his place of
business. The Colonel has had
the mumps.
The war in South Africa, where
sons of Erin covered them¬
selves with glory, mav result in
home rule for Ireland. Then the
will not have been in vaiw.
Among the Ashburn attendants
upon church services at Pleasant
Hill Sunday were Messrs. W. R.
Dupriest, G. K. Rogers, R. Paulk,
Henry Daniels and J. Patterson.
The Advance is sorry to chroni¬
the sickness of Mrs. Burke,
wife of Photographer Burke, who
has been confined to her room for
the past week. Hope that she
may soon be up again.
Mrs. E. C. Druelle, an up-to-
date millener and trimmer, of
At j antaj can be found at Fincher’g
m jj| ener y store, where she will be
to 8erve the ladies,
p .j j ot j, 0 p en } n g day.
This (Friday) morning Mr.
Thad. Shirah left Ashburn to
accept a position with Mr. J. S.
Shingler, who has recently gone
into the saw mill busines over in
Miller county. Mr. Shirah is a
full fledged Ashburnite, and his
leave taking is not permanent,
though it may be for some length
of time, as Mr. Shingler has
considerable amount of work
do. The Advance wishes him «
pleasant and profitable stay and
“ fe
New flillenry Store.
Everything new and up-to-date,
at low prices. Will open Wed¬
nesday, April 10th, in room for¬
merly occupied by Miss Mamie
Hill. J. C. FINCHFR.
Register at onco. The books
close May 14tli.
Mr. John F. Jenkins, who sev¬
eral years has been assistant post
master and book keeper in Betts
& Co.’s commissary department,
severed his business connection
with that excellent firm on the
first.
Miss Carrie Jackson, of Syca¬
more, is visiting the family of Mr
H. S. Story. Miss Carrie is al¬
ways a welcome visitor at Isabella
and one of our young men, we
presume is especially happy.—
News.
The attendants upon the Dem¬
ocratic meeting at Isabella Tues-
dayYrom this place were Messrs.
J. S. Betts, T. H. Thrasher, J. C.
Flanders, R. D. Law, Will Massey,
Alex Story, J. H. Allen and J. B.
Horne.
Marshal Hallman, on a tele¬
gram from the Sheriff of Hous¬
ton county, arrested one Bob
Lane, charged with burglary, and
delivered him to tlio Sheriff of
the aforesaid county, on Wednes¬
day last.
To the delight of many friends
Miss Maud Yancey, who has been
iu Eatonton for sometime, re¬
turned to Ashburn Tuesday after¬
noon and will in future be at home
at the residence of Mr. Tom. J.
Shingler.
Joe Everett was talking over
the telephone until quite a late
hour Wednesday night, and it
sounded from the interest Joe
manifested that there was an in¬
teresting party at the other end
of the line.
We have on our table volume
l number 1 of the Worth News, a
new candidate for public favor.
The publication office is at Isa¬
bella, and the paper, under the
new law, will, we suppose, put in
to get the county printing.
The old school house, which
was purchased by Mr. J. S. Shin¬
gler, has been remodeled, and is
now one of the most convenient
dwelling houses in the town. Il
is to be occupied by Prof. Jeff-
coat, formerly of the Hotel Clyde.
Mr. J. H. Allen, who is so well
and so favorably known all over
this section of country, is now
with J. S. Bette <fc Co., in the gro¬
cery department, where he will
be pleased to serve his old friends
and former patrons.
The Hotel Clyde has changed
hands, and is now being conduct¬
ed bv Mr. J. O. Roberts, of Pal¬
metto, Ga., near Atlanta, a gen¬
tleman of much experience in
the hotel business, and who will
run an up-to-date house. Prof,
Jeffcoat has removed into the old
school building.
Mr. Fincher wishes to stato to
the general public, and especially
to the ladies, that on or about the
10th of April he will present to
them one oi the neatest stocks of
millenery goods ever presented to
the general public. Mr. Fincher
intends to make tne millenery
department of his business a spe¬
cial feature, and having had large
experience in that line, will doubt¬
less have something to please all.
His goods are already here, and
as soon as his store is completed
will be presented to the public.
Remember the date, on or about
the 10th instant. Mrs. E. C.
Druelle, a milliner and trimmer
second to none, will be in charge.
Mrs Druelle is from Atlanta, Ga.
“Madam,” said the tramp, as a
middle-aged lady came to the
door in response to his knock,
“would you give a poor man a
bite to eat?”
“Why,” replied the lady, “you
are certainly able to earn a living.
You don’t look very old.”
“Looks are often deceitful,
lady,” answered the wanderer I
am old enough to be your grand¬
father.”
A moment later he was seated
in the kitchen, and nothing she
had in the pantry was too good
for him.—Chicago Record.
For Sale.
SEED SWEET POTATOES,
MULTIPLYING ONION SETS
AND SPANISH GROUND PEAS.
Applyto J. LAWRENCE.
All Over the State.
Georgia Democrats aro getting
in shape for the conflict this year.
The nominee of the Kansas pity
convention has her electoral vote
in his pocket right now.
Moultrie Observer: Give South
Georgia svrup raisers a reasona¬
ble freight rnto to the outside
world, and you will soon see an
industry built up here that will
lay cotton on the shelf.
Moultrie Observer: A Griffin
man declines to run for office be¬
cause he is “too busy building a
factory.” He should be let alone.
He is serving his community bet¬
ter than ho could if ho was in
Congress.
Waycross Herald : The Macon
Telegraph seems to bo worrying
about the Democratic State pri¬
maries. The esteemed Telegraph
need give itself no uneasiness;
Georgia will go Democratic, pri¬
mary or no primary.
Thomasville Times-Enterprise:
Taking account of our broken
promises made to the people of
Porto Rico, the Cubans may bo
excused if they shall distrust our
pledges made in their behalf at
the outset of the war with Spain.
Richland Banner: Imperial¬
ism, trusts, the wasteful extrava¬
gance of the Republican adminis¬
tration, and the Porto Rican ta¬
riff? What better could the
Democratic party ask for than
the privilege of opposing all of
these ?
Madison Advertiser: Some of
the papers and poUticians speak
in such a way of the admittance
of the participation of our Popu¬
list brethren in the Democaatic
primaries, as would suggest that
they have copyrighted the trade
mark.
Albany Herald: The Blakely
Reporter says that the wise farm¬
ers of Early county will diversify
their crops to a greater extent
than ever before this year. This
is a good sign, and it means that
the condition of our farmers will
continue to improve.
Albanv Herald: The farmers
down in this neck of the woods
have had no complaints to offer
on account of the State Executive
Committee’s action in ordering a
special registration for the May
primary. They are finding tune
to register and will find time to
vote.
Albany llerald: There is more
politics to the squaro foot in
Mitchell county and the Albany
circuit than in the name area of
the earth’s surface elsewhere,
thinks the Camilla Clarion. A
goodly number of skillfully made
traps are being sot for the voters.
They are baited cleverly, but will
they bite?
Dalton Argus: The city coun¬
cil of a Michigan town has ap¬
pointed a committee to devise a
scheme to get rid of negroes in
that place. We thought the folks
up there pretended to bo “stuck
on” the “brother in black.” But
it seems they are also converts to
the doctrine that “distance lends
enchantment to the view.”
Cuthbert Leader: That Judge
Griggs lias been a friend to the
country press he following from
the speech of Mr. Clark, of Mis¬
souri, in regard to the Loud bill,
shows: “This agreement as to
the acceptance of my amendments
and others deemed necessary to
protect the legitimate press, es¬
pecially the country press, was
brought about largely through the
kind offices of rny friend from
Georgia, Judge Griggs, who is
not only an able member of the
house, but who at all times and
under all circumstances has dem¬
onstrated that he is the unwaver¬
ing friend of the country press,
and of legitimate publications.”
Early County News: The aver¬
age farmer thinks it is a waste of
his time and feed to pay attention
to poultry, and as a natural con¬
sequence they are poorly cared
for and poorly housed; yet not¬
withstanding slipshod methods
the poultry output of our country
far exceeds its beef and pork pro¬
duction, and the greater part of
it is raised upon the farms in
small amounts. The prospects of
the much dispisedhen are growing
brighter each year, and the day is
coming when the farmer will pro¬
vide for the care of his wife’s
chickens the same as he does for
his horses and other stock, and
when this good hour arrives the
mongrels will hive given place to
thorough br'-ds.
OUR STOCK OF
New Spring: Goods
are:
Arriving: Daily.
We have made a careful
Study of the Mar¬
kets and our
DRESS OOD S
Include the Newest and Latest goods
out. Our Silks for waists and trim»
mingjare beauties. Our dress goods
are all cut in short lengths—no two
waist patterns alike.
OUR CLOTHING
Has arrived-Come and see. We bought
a Nice Line and can fit you. Our suits
with Double-breasted vests are attractive
and up-to-date. Suits to fit the Large,
Medium size and Slim Man—let us show
them to you before buying.
OUR SHOES.
Shoes for the Ladies, Shoes for the Ba¬
bies, Shoes for men, girls and Boys, in¬
cluding all the toes, colors and shapes.
We wantthe ladies to inspect our famous
Zeigler Bros, line of Shoes, Oxford ties
and Slippers. We’are carrying the Hess’
fine shoes for men.
HATS, HATS
Of every description, Dress Hats, work¬
ing man’s hats, Durbies and straw, felt
and cork hats. Let us show you through.
GROCERIES,
New and fresh. You will find no old
goods on our shelves— we buy them, open
up, sell out and replace with new goods.
You should try Heinze’s Pickles, Jellies.
Tomato Catsup and India Relish—we
know of nothing better.
FURNITURE.
Room Sets, Chifoneers, Dressers, Hat
Racks, Book cases, lounges, willow rock¬
ers, golden-oak rockers, willow and reed
Baby carriages. In fact a full line of furn¬
iture of all kinds. Carpets and rngs of all
descriptions. Try us before buying—we’ll
do our best to please you.
Ha rd wa re-Crockery.
Stoves, plows, wagon and plow gear,
hardwareofall kinds.
Dinner sets, water sets, toilet sets; most
anything you can call for in Crockery and
Class ware. Call and inspect.
Highest market price paid for Country Produce
You cannot over stock us with chickens and e gg s
Our trade demands more than we can possibly
get, so try us when you come to town. We want
all you cam spare and will pay Top of market.
YOURSTRULY,
J. S. BETTS .SCO •»
Ashburn, Ga.