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G i ~‘ TN % & 7P @@ IR | s g / ON =253 f / "',.';e-‘f no 0% 3 - Sum NN 7 - o= /s A 0 BB PATENT. ‘We’ll live upcn a patent food And draw a patent breath : Until upon a patent bed n We die a patent death, e ‘Then after that we will be sure To criticise and carp Unless on patent golden streets We play a patent harp. —Life. WHERE SILENCE IS GOLDEN. J. Axson Bond—Would you have loved me had I been poor? She—~Certainly, my love; but I'd have kept you in blissful ignorance of the fact—Smart Set. SUBURBAN ARITHMETIC, ° Teacher—Now, Johnny, if your mother engaged two cooks on Mon day, three ¢n Tuesday and fcur on Wednesday, how many would she have? Johnny—Ngcne. —New York Sun. BLISS TO SUIT CIRCUMSTANCES. “How much will it cost me to get a divorce?”’ asked the man. “That depends,” replied the lawyer, absentmindedly. “How much have you got?” EVENED UP. “lI think,”, he =said, “that I am now just about even with the world.” “Even with the world.” “Yes. I figursd that I have now reached a point where I owe just about as many pecple as I don’t owe.” —Chicago Post. MONEY. Biggs—Skinned tells me that he is making all kinds of money these days. Diggs—All but one kind, psrhaps. Biggs—What’s the exception. Diggs—The proverbial honest dol lar.—Chicago News. QUITE TRUE. “Woodby declares his grandfather descended from one of the greatest houses in England.” “Ah! yes. I did hear a story about the old man falling off a roof he was repairing once for Lord Somebody or other.”—Philadelphia Press. DREW THE CROWD. Missionary (Gulchville) — Dear! dear! It’s too bad. I am told there has just been a lynching. Deacon Hairtrigger—Yaas, parson; you said you wished we could have a big crowd here to thie openin’ of the religious revival, and I told you I'd bring ’em.—They're all,here.— Mew York Weekly. UNCHARITABLE. “Bliggins is very slow to anger,” said the little person who always says kind things. “Yes,” answered Miss Cayenne. “He is so dense that he dcesn’t per ceive wh'en he ought to resent some thing until it is too late.”—Washing ton Star. COMING TO THE POINT. “It’s so long since you last called upon me I was beginning to think you were forgetting me,” said Miss Pechis as she came down to the young man in the parlor. “I'm for getting you,” replied the ardent youth, “and it’s for getting you that I've cailed tonight. Can I have vou ?’—Philadelphia Press. A SCHEME. “Dear,” said the politician’s wife, L“there's a handsome blg policeman | whose beat embraces Mrs. Swell ~man’s house. Can’t you get him transferred to this neighborhood?” “What for?” demanded her hus band. ~ “Mrs. Swellman has an excellent ccok and I want her.”—Philadelphia i Press. - ; . \ 8 —————— % DEFINING ETERNITY. ! “Eternity!” . ~ The voice cf the preacher sank to a horrified whisper. “An @2ternity of torment!” he re peated. “Do you bethink you what eternity is? 1 tell you it is as long as it would seem to you if you were going to the theatre and were waiting for your wife to get ready, and she had w«ight or nine heads instead of one!” Here several men rose, haggard, and tottered forward to the anxious seat.—Puck. THE REAL THING. : “Yes,” remarked 'the bald-headed man, “my wife is president ofa secret i society.” - “Nonsense” rejoined the fussy old bachelor. “The idea of women hav ing anything to do with secret so cieties.” Ry “But,” explained he of the ab. sent hair,” “this is a society of which the members exchange secrets.”—Chi ¢cago News. 1 GAVE HIM CREDIT. ~ Crimes—l think Blodgett is the “meancst man I ever knew. ~ Grant—What has Blodgett been doing now? ~ CGrimes—l wrote an anonymous letter to his paper complaining of the teacher of the Centre School. He recognized my writing and published the letter over my signature, Grant—Well, what of it? The let ter expressed your sentiments, didn’t it? ; Grimes—Oh, yss, they were my s2n timents all right; but I didnt want people to know that was what I thcught.—Boston Transcrint. ) STILL: USEFUL. ~ Mrs. Fortie—While I was cleaning out the attic today I found this cld wire bustle. Isn’t it oldfashioned: ~ Mr. Fortie—Yes, but ‘keep it. It - will come in handy next August. ~ Mrs. Fortie—Why, those things will ‘never come in style again. : ~ Mr. Fortie—But it will make a splendid muzzle for Rover in the dog daye.—Philadelphia Press. | The Buil's Eye. \ Why is the target’s bull's eye st | called? This is one of many instances iin our language where words have gained a higher status than that with which they started and have been prompted from the slang dictionary to the dictionary of words of respectable | and current use. ~ Bull’s eye is found in the dictionary } of “The Canting Crew” as far back as 1690 and was thq vulgar word for the ! central ring of the target used as a | mark for archers, which was coclored i differently from the other rings. This ‘may have arisen from the ancient rounded shields, cut out of ox hide ! aund strengthened with a spike cr éen tragl boss for this shield or target; hence target was often used as a mark itsell. Wiien sh‘eet glass began to be man ufactured the thickened part, wherse the tube had been attached, was call ed the bull's ‘eye. Then this tzrm was successively applied to a Icns of glase, especially in a ship’s side, to the lens of the lantern, to the lantern itself and finally to the central boss of a target.—lLondcn Answers. During the last year the boats of the Royal National Lifebcat Institu tior. were instrumental in saving 7060 lives, making the grand total of 44.- 361 since th 2 establishment of th 2 institution in 1824. ~ The largest loaves cf bread baked are those of France and lialy. e ENRES - N b || SESONERE Q P asssmaaaTs] s R My & == ¥i A ?%N’.‘ 3£ SO\ F f "&'@ = Y RS LI e SESREAR S Q éé 27 h ‘Hi W Wy Jsl e TS Y &y SN WoR \ WORLD GWoMEN Onen Work the Vogue. " The open-work doilies, tablecloths, centerpieces and napkins show the vogue for openwork designs as much 2s the gowns do. A Word to the Child. Train vour child to always wipe his face on his own individual towel. Be gin when he is very small, too. It wiil prove a good habit to get into. Repose of Manner. The air of distinguished repose 80 sought after by nervous society wom en may be acquired by any one if they will remember that the secret of a re poseful manner simply means the pow er to totally relax. Much of your ner vous energy is lost in nervous fidget ing. One beauty specialist goes SO far as to declare that nothing will make wrinkles quicker than the habit of moving and jerking, and that noth ing is so fatal to beauty as coughing and wheezing. All such habits are really nervous complaints. To cure all these fidgety movements cultivate the habit of sitting perfectly still, keeping the hands and fingers motion less as long as possible and relax, In the Matter of Massage. If the ten-mirute massage treat ments tire your hands so terribly you are- making the movements too hero: ’ically. The pressure should be just enough to lift the muscles of the face. Never move the hands in a downward direction. Start aiways at the chin and work upward. Go first from the chin up around the eves; then begin again and work outward toward the ears, » No, massage of itself will not pro duce pimples. It is probabie that the cream you are using is at the bottom of the trouble, Are you always care ful to have it absolutely fresh? Ran cid fat rubbed in the skin is certain to produce eruntions. Why not prepare for yourself one of the skin foods for ‘which formulas are given in this de partment? Creams which cocntain such a large proportion of animal fat as the one you are using are very ant to encourage a growth of hair upon the face. The Women’s Clubs., The Hull House Woman’s club of Chicago will soon have a clubhouse, and unlike all others, it will be used Fxclusively by the club. The building is a gift from a generous friend of T ull house, Joseph T. Bowen, and the members hope to occupy it next fall. tEight hundred peonle can be accom modated in the new building, which will be an English basement house. In the lower part will be the library, sewing and cloal: rooms, kitchen and several committee rooms. On the {floor above all will be a large assem:- bly room, with a gallery. The room will have stained glass windows and flecorated walls, and will be a beauti tul apartment. . In Kalamazoo, Mich,, a woman has Just been appointed assistant street commissicner and the city council has gigned a contract with the Woman’s Civic Improvement league. for the cleanin® of the busjness streets, tho pew woman commissioner to have charge of the job. FRemember Your Silhouette. The "trouble with loose coats and, indeed, with the style of dress in fa vor just now is that the lines of the figure are too apt to be neglected. In -other words. the wearer is swamped in her owx cjohies. The bes anewi of dressmakers, Redfern, said a clever thing in describing his methods: “My specialty,” he said, “is the line of a garment. Ido not want to disguise a woman’y figure, but always to see it through her dress. Whether gown or coat or mantle, for street or evening wear, simyle or elaborate, I insist up on the nreservation of certain lines. I start with the old Greek lines. I mod ify them in a thousand ways, but I never leose them.” What the French call the silhouette, meaning the outline of the figure, is too often negledted by dressmakers, and completely overlooked by their custobmers. No woman who ever thought of her silhouette would wear a tight sheath skirt for example. It is hideous when she ic standing still and grotesque when she is walking. It is a pity that there is no way of seek ing a good shadow of cne's self in every hat that it tried on.—lndianapos lis New. / f . | ehs ks ¥ ’ | - An Unusual Cown 4 An unusual gown in cream andé brown was worn at a fashionable res taurant at a small dinner. The foun dation was cf the cream silk, and the “brown taffeta was used in strappings to stripe the bodice and the upper part of the skirt. The large hat worn with this gown carried out the brown an cream idea, it being a large round : - fair, with a wide brim that curve.l down a liitle all the way around. and was raised from the hair by a ban ~deau. It was also set back a bit on the wearer’s hair, which was also : brown, as were her eyves. Brown os trich tips, with cream-colored s‘ems, f the tins themselves shading to cream toward the centre, nodded from the f crown out over the brim, and wide sash ends of brown messaline ribbon were brought from the back around to the front, where they hung below ths ® | knee. The stock and voke of the gown were neighbor—was veiled with a curved insertion of white lace, and overlapping this lace was a band of . shaded pink roses with foliage. These | bands terminated 2t the six-inch bor ‘ der, which was formed of brown taf i feta strappings an inch and a quarter ! across, each with an ecual width of | the cream silk between it and the ! next strapping. A band of the pink l roses and delicate green foliage cov ered the ends of the brown strappings. ' These flora! bands were cof silk and I were curved slightly, the vetals and ! leaves forming irregular edges. ’ : Fashion DMotes, The fichu is cnce more trying to ef 'fect a firm footing in the fashion | world. . Colored handkerchiefs and white - ones with colored borders are the only i corrert thing for use with the shirte | waist suit this spring and summer. . These come in softest mulls and lin ~ens ~ in pale lavenders, blues, pinkg, veilows, and even in reds. They are gscailoped, hemstitched and lace - edged, in fast colors. - The bracelet is begcoming more pop . ular, and it is predicted that two in. ' stead of one will be worn before the - summer wanes., At present the brace ' let is worn on the left arm. | All sorts of floral fancies are carried out in these mouchoirs, but the prefer ‘ ence is for_small flowers, like forget - me-nots, daisies and wild roses. Thess ?am embroidered in mercerized floss, - which looks lke silk in the naturai colors. It <eems as if it is not the thing to have gowns cut at all low in the necit. ' The soft Swiss taifetas are idesal for traveling gowns. They are rather warm, but may be made in short skirt and bolero and worn with a sheer ug derblouse. ] A parasol fad is the.use of jol studded handles. Many of the excli sive sunshades and carriage parasols in all the blue, gray, pink and laven ' der shades, as well as the red, green ~and black ones, show these handles, Some are curved in crooked effect, others straight, but they are a solid ' mass of jet the size of seed pearls.