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' MIDNIGHT PHILOSOPHY.
There are some things wealth cannot
buy
Both physical and mental;
Tacks feel the same upon a rug
Ingrain or Oriental.
GENIUS IN DISGUISE.
Benevolent Lady—My man, you ap
pear to be strong and able to work.
How can you be content to remain a
mere vagabond? |
Tired Tifins—Sah, mum! I don't
dast tell youse me real name, fer fear
of de shock to yer nervous system,i
but I don’t mind lettin’ youse know,
mum, dat I'm a well known scientific
guy wot is merely doin’ dis to colleck
de material fer a book!—Houston
Chronicle.
HAD A CLOSE CALL.
The Rabbit—l had a narrow escape
from being killed by an amateur
spvtsman today.
The Grouse—Was he such a good
shot?
The Rabbit—No, but when the gun
kicked it knocked him over and he
almost sat on me.—Puck.
SUCCESSFUL CHARITY EXCUR
SIONS.
“Was your charity excursion on the
boat a success, Mrs. Dasher?”
“Grand! We lost money, but all who
went say that they had a delightiul
outing and feel at the same time that
their money went for a good cause.”’—
Detroit Free Press.
CHIVALRY—OR JUST MEANNESS?
“Do you earry on a matrimoniai
brokerage business?”
“Yes.”
“Who pays your commission—the
bride or the bridegroom?”’
“I never tell that. That’s a secret.”
WHERE THE SPORT FAILS.
Stubbs—After all, this shooting at
clay pigeons isn’t so exciting as firing
at live ones.
Twist—No, there’s little fun shoot
ing at things that can't feel it when
they are hit.—Boston Transcript.
OBJECTED TO SUCH A ROLE.
May—Why did you refuse him?
Gladys—He has a past.
May—3 But he can blot it out.
Gladys—Perhaps, but he can’t use
me for a blotter.——Answers.
NO CHANCE FOR BUSINESS
THERE.
Mrs. Knooliwed—Norah, what is
that loud-voiced man .n the alley cal
ling out?
Domestic—“ Rags an’ old iron,”
mem.
Mrs. Knooliwed—Tell him we don't
want any.—Chicago Tribune.
NOT IN A GIVE-AWAY MOOD.
Kind Lady—How long since Yyou
have done any work?
Hobo—Pardon me, mum, I'm sensi
tive about my age.—Baltimore Ameri
can.
AS TO SCRIBLET'S FAME.
“QSeriblet has turned out a great
quantity of stuff with his pen, but has
he ever written anything that will
endure?”’
“I think he has. I have several of
his promissory notes in my possession
which I expect to hand down to pos
terity just as he gave them to me.”’—
Chicago Tribune.
LOYAL.
“Doesn’'t Miss Gradwate look odd
with her cheeks painted red and the
rest of her face so white?”
“Yes.'
“Don’t you suppose she knows that l
people. notice it?”
“Of course she does. Those are her 1
college colors.”—Cleveland Plain ‘
Dealer. 1
HER POINT OF VIEW. -
Mrs. Styles—Yes, dear, Mr. Brief 1s
considered a very geod lawyer, indeed.
Mrs. Styles—Well, I don't think so.
Why, I was a witness in a case once,
and he wanted to. do all the talking!
WHAT ENERVATED HIM.
“Most enervating weathah, this,” re
marked Cholly.
“Yes?’ queried Snapley.
“Yaas. I thought of a lettah I had
to write this morning, so awfter a
while I thought I'd just get at it, but,
bah Jove, when I started to do it I
found I hadn’'t the energy. Beastly
weathah!”
“Why blame the weather? Perhaps
it was those two thoughts in one day.”
—Philadelphia Press.
OF COURSE.
Fuddy—What a difference there is
sometimes between the boys and the
girls of the same family?
Duddy—Yes. I've 'noticed that.
There’'s the Rogerton family, for in
‘stance. The boys are every one of
‘them red-headed, while the girls,
iwhose locks are of the same hue, are
auburn-haired.—Boston Transcript.
i EASY RUNNING.
Cladys (sighing)—Oh, dear, he
hasn’t proposed yet.
! Ethel-——Well, what can you expect
' of a chap who never runs his auto
iover ten miles an hour?—Puck.
| S
| A FRIEND IN NEED.
| Jaggles—Does he regret the time he
‘,spent as a waiter while working his
?way through college?
| Waggles—l should say not! Since
' he graduated it's the only thing that
Ehas brought him in a living.—Judge.
| . . L s
| NO HARM DONE.
| “They tell me that Noisely has sub
! seribed $l,OOO to the campaign fund.”
. “He has. It is an annual oecurrence
' with him, affording him a vast amount
l of pleasure and not costing a cent,”’—
iDetmit Free Press.
| HIS IMPRESSION.
i “Does your, wife insist on having
| the last word?”
| “No,” answered Mr. Meekton; “when
Henrietta gets started there isn’t
i any last word.”—Washington Evening
| Star. -
UP TO DATE.
Nettie—Am I worth my weight in
i gold to you, Ned?
] Ned—More than that, dearest.
| You're worth vour weight in trading
- stamps.—Chicago Chronicle. :
5 —_—
| TELEPHONE MONOPOLY.
| Church—Good gracious! - You must
I be tired! .
| Gotham—Why?
| “You’ve been talking in that tele
. phone booth for twenty minutes!”
’ “Didn’t say a word.”
“What! In that telephone booth for
;'twent_v minutes and didn’t say a
. word?”
| “That's what I said. You see, 1
| called up my wife to tell her some
i thing, but she didn’t give me a
?chance.”—-—Yonkers Statesman.
| LANGUAGE OF COIN.
| “Count Penniless finds New York
' English easy to understand but hard
' to speak.”
“Yes, in New York money talks.”’—
- Town Topics.
A PLACE OF SAFETY.
| “Don’t yvou feel a little nervous in
;,\'onr new autcmchile?”
| “No,” answered the man whose
' elothes smell of gasoline, “when I am
in that machine a sense of perfect
{ security comes over me. I know. I
| can’t be run over.”—Washington Star.
" THIBET TEA ORINKERS.
Habit is Widespread Among All of
the Mongolians, but Especially in
the Highlands.
Tea fcrms one of the principal ar
ticles of commerce thrcughout Thibet
and Mongoiia, says W. C. Jameson
Reid in Outing. The native is mis
erable without it, and when it can not
be obtained is willing to cheat him
self by various expedients, such as
boiling dried onicn heads, herbs, or
even an infusion of-chips of wood in
water, in crd2r that he may not be
at least, without a suggestion of his
favcrite beverage. The tea imported
from China is pressed into smalil, ob
long-shaped Dbricks, made up Into
cases of nine bricks, sccurcly sawn ia
rawhide, and not only is used as a
beverage, but in fact forms a staple
of currency as negotiable as Bank of
England notes o American paper cur
rency.
The native’ method of preparing
this. delicacy is not appetizing. The
tea is first ground to a fine powder by
vigorously pounding it in a mortar
until no splints of wced or other im
purities are visible toc the eye. It is
then put into the kettle, when the wa
ter is hot, to boil ten or fifteen min
utes. By way of giving increased
flavor, salt or soda is added, and, this
gart cf the operation being complet
ed, the all-important businsss of
drinking it commences. The family
being gathered round the fire of yak
dung, in order that atmcsphere, as
the painters would say, should not
be lacking, cach one draws from scme
hidden recess in the folds of his vol
uminous sheepskin coat a little wecod
en bowl, and, with a satisfaction that
must be seen to be appreciated, fills
his private dish with the liquid. All
this, hcwever, is by way of prelimin
ary. From a skinfull of butter, placed
within convenient range, each person
takes a piece of gleaginous compound
and lets it melt into his bowl of
steaming tea. Then—oh joy! oh
rapture!—with furtive grasp he
draws the nectar to his lips and
“heaven is opened unto him.” The
bowl is again filled, into the steaming
liquid he throws a handful of tsamba
(parchaed bariey meal), and, drawing
forth the sodden lump works it into
a ball of brcwn dough with a deft
movement of his left hand, and suc
cessively bites off pieczs of this deli
cacy and drinks his buttered tea un
til the visible supply has vanished,
when, in order that his table etiquette
might not be impugned, he licks his
bowl clean, wipes what supcrfluous
fat he has got on his face on his
beots and eagerly looks forward to
the moment when gods and fate shall
again becocme propitious. il
e e
JAPANESE STRENGTH.
A Physician’s View of the Sturdy Ori
ental Race.
The Japanese have taught Eiro
peans and Americans a lesson and
quenched in some degree the ccneeit
of the Caucasian in his superior ca
pacity to do all things. Even in the
matter of our diet, our long cherished
theory that the energy and vitality
of the white man are largely due to
the amount of animal fccd consumed
must undergo revision.
The Japanese are allowed to be
among the very strongest people on
the earth. They are strong mentally
and physically, and yet practically
they eat no meat at all. The diet
which allows them to develcp such
hardy frames and such well balanced
and keen brains consists wholly of
rice, steamed wor hoiled, while the
better-to-do add to this Spartan fare
fish, egge, vegetables and fruits. For
beverages they usze weak tea without
sugar or milk, and pure water, alco
holic stimulants being but rarely in
dulgad in. Water is impibed in swhat
we shculd consider prodigious quan
tities—to an Englishman, indeed, the
drinking of so much water would be
regarded as madness. The average
Japanese swallows about a gallon a
day in dividsd doses. 0
The Japanese recognize the hene
ficial effect of flushing the sysiemn
through the medium of the kidneys.
and they also cleanse the exterior of
their bodies to an extent undreamed
of in Europe or in America. Another
—perhaps this is the usage on which
the Japanese lay the greatest stress—
is that deep, habitual, forcible inhala
tion of fresh air is an essential for the
acquisition of strength, and this meth
od is sedulously practiced until it
becomes a part of their nature.
The Japanese have proved that a
frugal manner of living is consistent
with great bodily strength—indeed,
is perhaps more so than the meat
dict of the white men. As to the
water-drinking habit, which is so dis
tinctive a custom to them, it :s prob
ably an aid to keeping the system
free from blood impurities, ana might
be fcllowed to advantage in Euro
pean countries to a far greater ex
tent than is at present the case. Hy
dropathy and exercise secem to be the
sheet anchors of the Japanese train
ing regiment, and judging from re
sults have been eminently satisfac
tory.—Medical Record.
FIRST AMERICAN COINS.
The Treasurer of the United States
on May 6, 1903, redeemed two half
cent pieces. This is the first time
in the history of the country that
any such ccins have been presented
for redemption. It is more than a
century since the first half-cent piece
was coined, and it is nearly fifty years
since the Government discontinued
minting them.
Possibly not one perscn in a thou
sand now living in the United States
ever saw a half-cent piece.
The last annual report of the Di
rector of the Mint, page 82, shows
that 7,895,222 of these coins, repre
senting $39,476.11, were issued. For
almcst half a century eggh annual
report of the Treasury LTpartment
has included them among the “out
standing” obligaticns of the wuovern
ment.
The hali-cent piece was the coin of
the smallest denomination ever made
in this country. It enjoys the dis
tinetion also of being the first coin
issued and also the first whose de
nomination was discontinued. The
United States Mint was established
in 1792, and copper half-cents and
cents were issued in 1793. Half the
total number of half-cents issued were
ccined previous to 1810, after w.ich
year their coinage, with few excep
tions, was limit2d., None was coined
for circulation from 1812 to 1824, nor
from 1836 to 1848. Finally, in 1857,
their coinage, with that cf the big
copper cent, was discontinued. On
account of their limited issue in the
lagt years of their coinage, they prac
tically had disappearzd from the
channels of trade. %
The nfil"gfi of adopting the half-cent
as the lowest value-computing fac
tor for a coin were made in the early
days of the Republic. Colonial half
cents and British farthings of the
same commercial value were then in
circulation, and many articies were
priced and solf in half-cents. With
the progress of the mnation values
rose and the needs for a half-cent dis
appeared, and their us 2, following the
first decade of the century, was al
most entirely confined to multiples. °
While all other discontinued types
and denominations of United States
coin have found obiivicn, fhe half
cent is the only ome of which the
Treasary Feports do not recoi§ some
portion cf the issue redeem~d. This
singular and unexplained fact has
been one cf frequent comment and in
quiry from mint and Treasury offi
cials.
Large quantities of half-cents are
to be found in the stocks of coin
dealers. The cocmmonest dates are
sold at a good premium and the ex
tremely rare ones are wcorth their
weight in gold.
Ferran Zarbe, of St. Louis, was the
man who sent the two-half-cent pieces
to Washington for redemption. Me
now -prizes highly the little voucher
calling for “one cent,” which was sent
to him with that amount of current
coin in exchange for the two half
cents he had forwarded.