Newspaper Page Text
The Sylvania Telephone.
C. H. MEDLOCK, Editor a*d Puwjmiicb.
YOL. I.
Curious Things.
I went out once (or a quiet stroll,
When something happened so very droll,
I saw n young hunter riding ever,
Up and down, on the shore of tho river.
Many a stag bounded close to the spot.
What did the hunter ? He shot them not;
Only sang a song in the forest green.
Now tell me, my friends, what might this
mean?
And as 1 continued my quiet stroll,
Something else happened extremely droll.
A slender maid in a light canoe
Came gliding down on the waters blue.
About her the fishes sprung wonderingly.
What did tho insid ? She let then go tree;
Only sang a song in the lorest green.
Now tell me, my lriends, what might this
mean ?
And as I returned from my evening stroll,
Something else happened ol all the most droll.
A riderless steed on my way I passed by,
An empty canoe on the river did lie;
And passing u grove ol sycamore through,
What did I hear ? There whisporea two!
And it was so dark there was nothing to seo.
Now tell me my lriends, what might all this
be;
—From the German oj Robert Reinick.
A Charming Pickpocket.
Miss Illione Howell sits on the top
step of the back porch of the Pebble
house, gazing out upon the river—blue
as the sky above it and almost as bright
—which flows gently by at the foot ol
the garden.
Everything looks bright and beauti
ful this warm, pleasant, fragrant Octo
ber day. The garden walks, formed of
many small glittering stones, encircle
the beds of autumn flowers and plots
of feathery grass like broad gray rib
bons thickly stwn with precious gems;
and the little summer and bath houses,
built of some dark wood, and encrusted
with mote brilliant pebbles, gleam and
glow through the trees at the water's
edge, as the homes of the diamond
gnomes must gleam and glow in the
heart of the dark brown earth. Nor
d<y«! th® sheen and glitter end with
them, for the Pebble house itself is dec
orated around each window and doer
imbedded in some mysterious manner
in the frames — with many-colored
stones, each sparkling bravely in pygmy
mimicry of the setting sun.
But loveliest of all things that adorn
this wonderful October day—lovelier
than flashing river, gleaming sunshine
steeped pebbles, flaming gladioies and
bee-ioved four-o’clocks—is the lady,
young and fair, with gold-brown hair,
large blue-gray eyes, pale oval face, and
sweet small mouth, leaning back against
one of the piliars of the Pebble house
porch, the red foliage of the Virginia
creeper that enrobes it drooping over
her beautilul head. There is a tender,
dreamy look in her large eyes, and a
soft smile about her prettily curved lips,
as she sits there so motionless, gazing
out upon the river. One can see at
once that she is wandering in dream
land; but, alas! she is doomed to be
rudely recalled to earth again.
“Kleptomania indeed!” said a loud
girlish voice near her, and Miss Ada
Warden, a little brunette, with magni
ficent biack eyes and heavy black eye
brows, comes suddenly out on the
p«rch, arm in arm with her inseparable
friend, Linda Lees, whose eyes are as
blue as Ada’s are black, and whose eye
brows are the faintest shadows of those
belonging to her friend. “ Why do
they uever call it that when the—
the—”
“Kleptomaniac,”drawls Linda, sink
ing into an easy-chair and clasping her
pretty hands above her head with a
generous yawn that seems to indicate
her weariness of the subject.
“ Oh, thanks!” continues Ada, in the
same loud voice, swinging her broad
brimmed hat carelessly to and fro—
“kleptomaniac, to be sure—happens to be
a poor wretch who steals a loaf of bread
or something of that sort?”
“ Don’t look at me, Ada, dear,” Miss
Howell begs, in tones that would have
delighted Shakespeare himself; I’m sure
I don’t know,” and she yawns too, but
such a cunning little yawn, as though
a red rosebud had suddenly made up
its mind to unfold into the smallest of
red roses.
“Well, upon my word,” exclaims
Ada, indignantly, looking from one of
her friends to the other, “ you both ap
pear to be in remarkable spirits this
afternoon. I can’t stand it. I must run
away in search of some one less boister
ous. No, I won’t either, for here comes
Herbert Moore, my cousin of cousins,
attended, prince of good fellows as he
is, by slaves bearing iced sherbets and
cakes of dew and honey—that is lemon
ade and macaroons. Girls, ain’t you
glad I’ve got such a duck of a cousin,
and that I coaxed him to spend his va
cation hero instead ol at NewportP
And now lor his opinion on the sub
ject.”
“What subject P” asks Herbert Moore.
And then, without waiting for an an-
SYLYANIA, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, JULY 6, 1880.
swer, he turns to the lovely face in
wreathed with the vine leaves,and says:
“ May I sit at your feet, Miss Howell?
I’ve been roaming, I’ve been roaming,
and I’m deu— Beg pardon—awfully
tired.”
Wouldn’t you rest better in a chair?”
ai d she leans forward, with a bright
smile on her lips and in her eyes.
“Not at all, thank you,” seating
himself a step or two below the lady.
“Mrs. Sherwood,” begins Ada, be
tween two bites of a macaroon.
“Oh, that affair of the diamond
bracelet—poor thing!” says the young
man.
“What, do you believe in klepto
mania?” drawls Linda, from hereasy
chair.
“That’s the way they explain it,”
Ada goes on. “ She has been an inno
cent picker-up of costly trifles since her
childhood, her father at first, and then
her husband, refunding. But Mr.
Brown, the jeweler, with a heart as
hard as his own diamonds, threatened
prosecution, and only consented to a
compromise on condition that he should
be allowed to warn his brethern of gems
and gold. And so it all came out. Oh
dear, what a shocking thing, especially
when one remembers that the—the—”
“Kleptomaniac,” Linda again lazily
suggests.
“ More thanks, Linda love—that the
kleptomaniac came near being one of
one’s intimate friends. Do say some
thing, Herbert.”
“ The most charming girl I ever met
in my life,” Herbert responded, gravely,
•‘ was a pickpocket.”
Mis3 Warden chokes with her lemon
ade, Miss Lees drops her hands from
their favorite position above her head
into her lap, with an echo of the word
“pickpocket,” and Miss Howell looks
down on the young man with a ques
tioning look in her lovely eyes.
“ Tell us instantly. Herbert, that's
a darling,” gasps Ada, and Herbert
obeys.
“Last winter, coming home to my
lodging ore night, just after parting
with my old chum George Cuthbert,
Ada—”
Miss Warden, with a toss of her
curly head and a flush on her brown
cheeks,. commands: “Tlon'i. addi ■■ a
yourself altogether to me, sir. It isn’t
polite.”
“Beg pardon,” says Herbert, mis
chievously, “but for some reason or
other I alwa; s think of yeu when I
think of George. Well, I’d seen'Georf e
off to Europe that afternoon, after we’d
roomed together for tour years without
quarreling once. I wonder if that could
be said of any two women?’’ He pauses,
but his audience maintaining a dignified
silence, proceeds with his story. “I
naturally felt very lonely after his de
parture, and being unable to read, and
in no linmor to make calls, I deter
mined to go to some place of amuse
ment. It was a cold night, and as Jack
Frost and I never had been on very
friendly terms, in order to avoid a pro
tracted struggle with him I selected the
nearest theater, regardless of what the
performance was to be. It chanced
that they were playing a most dismal
piece.”
“ What was it?” asks Ada.
“ Ada ’’—withgreat solemnity—“not
for the world would I give any one, not
even you, my gentle coz, a clue by
which - Well, I was but just seated,
when a most lovely girl, followed by
her escort—a young man whose resem
blance to her led me to believe him her
brother—sank into the chair next me.”
“ What did she look like?” slyly ques
tions Linda.
“ Miss Lees, 1 must repeat the remark
I made to my cousin a moment ago. No
word or act of mine shall lead to the—
Suffice it to say she was lovely. The
curtain rose as soon as she had taken
her seat, and from that instant her at
tention was riveted upon the stage. I
was pleased to notice, however, she did
not favor her companion with any gush
ing remarks about the handsome —
“Who?” from Ada.
“No matter; and that she did not
wear—”
“What?” from Linda.
“ Either a bunch of violet or a Jacques
rose. But I was not so well pleased to
find that she seemed totally unconscious
of my proximity, although she did ac
cept a programme from my hand, in an
absent-minded kind of way, without
even a glance in my direction, while
the young lady on the other side peeped
coquettishlv at me.”
“You conceited follow!” exclaims
his cousin.
“ She did, up n my honor, from be
hind her fan, every few minutes, and at
last, gaining confidence, from the
angelic expression of my countenance,
no doubt, actually offered me a choco
late caramel.”
“ Why. Mr. Moore!”
“She did, Mita Lees, and I took it
and ate it. She was about six, I should
think. However, to go on with my
story. In the third act, where—”
•‘ Rose Michel.”
“ The Two Orphans.”
“ Neither. Where there is some very
pathetic business, my charming neigh-
“ONWARD AND UPWARD.”
bor began to weep, and reaching her
little gray-kidded hand aown by hor
side, took from the pocket of my coat
my handkerchief—the last of that
dozen of silk ones you brought me from
Paris, Ada.”
“Not really? And what did you
do?”
“Nothing. Yes, I did; I laughed
silently and long, till the flirt of the fan
and the chocolate caramel said to me,
reproachfully: ‘Why do you laugh? It
isn’t funny.’ And I watched her at the
end of the play walking away in the
most dignified manner, after carefully
putting my handkerchief in her polo
coat, or whatever you call it, pocket.”
“ ’Twas all a mistake, you may depend
upon it, Herbert. Last winter we wore
our pockets so—so—”
Ada hesitates, and Linda as usual
comes to her assistance: “ In our back
breadths.”
“—that she— I mean no doubt your
coat skirt was intruding upon the arm
of her chair. And did you ever meet
her again?”
“I did. And she immediately pos
sessed herself, in just as guileless a man
ner as she possessed herself of my
handkerchief, of something belonging
to me, from my point of view infinitely
more valuable.”
“ There’s George, and we promised to
go sailing with him. Come, Linda,”
shouts Ada, grasping her lazy friend by
the arm; and as they ran down the steps
she shouts back at her cousin: “ If
there’s any more tell us this evening,
Herbert.”
“Is there any more. Miss Howell?”
asks Mr. Moore, rising, and standing face
to face with the blushing girl.
“Should there be more?” she asks in
return.
“ Yes. ‘And she gave him her heart
in place of his own, and promised to be
his true and faithful wife.’ I)o you ap
prove of that ending for my story?”
“ That would be a happy conclusion,
I’m sure,” laughs liiione. “ I can think
of no better one, Herbert.”
And he draws her little hand within
his arm, and they slowly saunter off to
ward the happy river.—.Harper’s Weekly.
Straps and Belts.
ft medical writer says: It is a habit
in some ol the schools and colleges ~6i
youths to employ a strap or other form
of belt for holding up thei r trousers;
one boy sets the example, and the others
think it right to follow; so the practice
becomes general and you find a tight
line indicating pressure marked round
the bodies of the wearers Fortunately,
in their case, as they emerge into life,
and before great mischief is done, they
give up the strap, and take to supporting
the clothes from the shoulders by the
brace, and so they escape further injury;
but while it lasted the injury undoubt
ediy was severe.
There is another and more permanent
injury of this kind, however, carried
out by boys—even by men—which con
sists in wearing a belt for the purpose of
giving what is called support. Boys
who are about to run in races, or to
leap, put on the belt and buckle it
tightly, in order, as they say, to hold in
their wind, or breath. Workingmen
who are about to lift weights or carry
heavy burdens put on a belt for the
same purpose, their declaration being
that it gives support. Actually there is
not a particle of truth in this belief.
is the expression of a fashion, and noth
ing more. The belt impedes respiration,
compresses the abdominal muscles, com
presses the muscles of the back, subject
ing them to unnecessary friction, and
actually impedes motion. No boy would
think of putting a belt tigntly round
tire body of his pony if lie wished it to
win a race or to leap a hurdle; no work
ingman would put a belt tightly round
the body of a horse to make it pull with
greater facility a load which it was
drawing. On themselves they com
mence the practice because some
body has set the example, and they get
accustomed to the impediment, and
think they cannot get on without it.
Drinking is learned by just the same ab
surd process.
Respecting this belt for boys and men
there is a word more I must say, which
is of serious import. When they put on
the belt for the sake of per forming some
feat of strength, they risk another dan
gerous mischief, Compressing the
abdomen, they force, during the exer
tion, the contents of the abdominal
cavity downward under pressure, giv
ing no chance to resilience back again
after the exertion or shock. In this way
they frequently cause hernia, or rupture.
I have seen several instances of this oc
currence in boys, and amongst workmen
who wear belts this disease is so com
mon that it is the rule rather than the
exception to find it present.
A woman in Colfax county, Neb.,
jokingly exchanged babies with a
neighbor, the two being dressed exactly
alike and laid in a cradle together, and
when they wanted to trade back neither
could distinguish which was her own
property, and a fearful matinee ensued.
The Husbands finally arranged a com
promise to select by lot.
Snags’ Corners
The officials of a Michigan railroad
now being extended were waited upon
the other day by a person from the pine
woods and sand hills who announced
himself as Mr. Snags, and who wanted
to know if it could be possible that the
proposed line was not to come any
nearer than three miles to the hamlet
named in his honor.
“ Is Snags’ Corners a place of much
importance?” asked the president.
“Is it? Well, I should say it was!
We made over a ton of maple sugar
there last spring!”
“Does business flourish there?”
“Flourish! Why business is on the
gallop there every minute in the whole
wenty-four hours. We had three false
alarms of lire there in one week. How’s
that for a town which is to be left three
miles off your railroad ?”
Being asked to give the names of the
business houses he scratched his head
for awhile and then replied:
“ Well, there’s me, to start on. I run
a big store, own eight yokes of oxen,
and shall soon have a dam and a saw
mill. Then there’s a blacksmith shop,
a postoffice, a doctor, and last week over
half a dozen patent-right men passed
through there. In one brief year we’ve
increased from a squatter and two dogs
to our present standing, and we’ll have
a lawyer there before long,”
< « I’m afraid we won’t be able to
come
any nearer the Corners than the present
survey,” finally remarked the president,
“ You won’t! It can’t be possible that
you mean to skip a growing place like
Snags’ Corners!”
“ I think we’ll have to.”
“ Wouldn’t come if I’d clear you out
a place in the store for a ticket-office?”
I don’t see how we could.”
“ Maybe I’d subscribe $25,” continued
the delegate.
“ No, we cannot change.”
“ Can’t do it nohow ?”
“ No.”
“Very well,” said Mr. Snegs as he put
on his hat, “ if this ’ere railroad thinks
it,can stunt or cripple Snag3’ Corners by
leaving it out in the cold, it has made a
big mistake. Before I leave town to
day I’m going to buy a windmill and a
meiodeoii; 4 aud - you..'old locomotives may
toot and be hanged, sir—toot and be
han'ged V'—Detroit, Free Press.
Recent Postoffice Rules.
Eggs must be sent when new.
Feather beds are not mailable.
A pair of onions will go for two
cents.
Ink bottles must be corked when sent
by mail.
Over three pounds of real estate arc
not mailable.
A stamp of the foot is not sufficient to
carry a letter.
As all postmasters are expert linguists
the address can be written in Chinese,
Ciioctaw or any other language.
It is unsafe to mail apple or fruit
trees with the fruit on them, as some of
the clerks have a weakness for such
things.
Parties are compelled to lick their
own postage stamps and envelopes ; the
postmaster cannot be compelled to do
this.
Nitro-giycerine must be forwarded at
risk of sender. If it should blow up in
the postmaster’s hands he cannot be
held responsible.
It is earnestly requested that lovers
writing to their girls will please confine
their gush ing rhapsodies to the inside of
the envelope.
Parties are earnestly requested not to
send posta: cards with money orders in
closed, as large sums are frequently lost
in that way.
When eggs are sent through the mails
and chickens are hatched on the jour
ney, the chickens become the property
of the government.
Spring chickens that are old enough
to vete, when sent by mail, should be
inclosed in iron-bound boxes to save
their tender bodies from injury.
W hen watches are sent through the
mails, if the sender will put a notice on
the outside, the postmasters will wind
it up and keep it in running order.
When letters are received bearing no
direction, the parties to whom they are
intended will please signify the fact to
the postmaster, that he may at once
forward.
Ducks cannot be sent through the
mails -when alive. Their quacking
would disturb the slumbers of the clerks
on the postal cars. This rule, how
ever, does not apply to a “ duck ” of a
bonnet.
Young ladies who desire to send their
Saratoga trunks by mail to watering
places during the coming summer
should notify the postmaster-general at
once. They must not be over seven feet
long by thirteen feet high.— Yonkers
Gazette.
If a ship arrives in port a second late
they dock it .—Meriden Recorder.
CURRENT NOTES.
Chicago is just now engaged in agita
ting the question of smoke prevention,
and the subject has assumed such im
portance in the eyes of the city fathers
that a proposition is now pending to
enforce the prevention of smoke ordin
ance. The same agitation, looking to
relief from the smoke nuisance, scents
to being going on in Great Britain,
where societies have been formed in the
larger cities for the purpose of dealing
with this question, though it does no.
appear that any greater progress lias
been made there, nor any better or es
sentially different devices discovered,
than here for the prevention or combus
tion of smoke.
The Berlin Railroad society has been
discussing the American system of
checking baggage, and Dr. Wedding
urged its adoption with modifications
adapted to German customs. It was re
ferred to a committee, two of whose
members, at least, are known to be in
favor of it. The next thing in order
will be the American car, or at any
rate, the American signal cord. Mur
ders on tile rail in the compartment car
riages are becoming almost as common
in France as those off the* rail, and
Charivari, the Paris’Hwwc/i, has a picture
representing the conductor of a train
putting all of the passengers into a
strait waistcoat. Under the sketch it
prints: “The managers ore absolutely
forced to these precautions for the pro
tection of travelers.”
Frederic Chilcott, of St. Thomas, an
engineer on the Great Western railroad,
was a hero. He died a fearful death on
that road on a recent Sund ay morning
A switch was left open at Simcoe and
freight No. 31 was coming toward De
troit. Chilcott could have saved him
self by jumping off but he stood at his
pJaoe. Although he reversed the engine
he could not prevent the catastrophe
and the next moment there was a pile
of cars heaped in wild confusion around
the overturned engine. The mass of
splinters took fire and although the fire
companies of the town tried to save
doomed man their efforts were in
He was cremated at his post and when
his charred body was lifted from
wreck®* WnnxntijBMiisAlnekened h
still grasped the reversing lever.
Coroner Ellinger, of New York, says
about suicides in hot weather: |The larg
est number of the suicides at this season
among men are the results of excessive
drinking, Men drink until their nerv
ous systems are shattered and their
bodies soaked with alcohol, the evil
effects of which are most keenly felt
when the increased temperature de
velops their internal fires, and then, in
moments of desperate disgust with life,
they seek death. Another thing impell
ing many suicides is that foreigners who
come here have never become so accli
matized until they are here a great many
years that in case of misfortune they do
not feel, keenly, mentally and in their
nervous organizations climatic influ
ences. Thus, when they find themselves
cut off from that consolation which they
would have at home among their
friends, and which would strengthen
"them there, desperation stares them in
the face, and they seek escape in suicide.
Another thing which is a great cause of
suicide at all seasons now is the decline
of religious faith. Where people center
their entire hopes in their worldly suc
cesses, lack faith in a future life, and
have lost their consciousness of a con
nection with a world that had no begin
ning and can have no end, they have
nothing to sustain them when misfor
tune assails them, the petty thwartings
and grievances of mundane affairs as
sume an overweening importance in
their eyes, and they are prone to plunge
heedlessly into the shadows of the dread
unknown.
Pennsylvania has an old law, passed
in 1794, against profanity. Recently a
Schuylkill county justice enforced its
provisions by imposing a fine upon a
particularly profane citizen who had
exploded, on one occasion, a volley cf
twenty-three separate and distinct
oaths. The offender refused to pay the
fine and the case was carried to a higher
court, where the decision below was
reversed on account of a defect in the
proceedings. The judge, however, sus
tained the propriety of the action, using
the following language: The general
prevalence of profane swearing ind icates
that the statute under which this de
fendant was convicted had long been
buried out of sight. Perhaps its resur
rection in this case may accomplish
some good by showing those who have
no regard for the law of God that the
law of the land imposes on them a
penalty of from forty to sixty-seven
cents, to be followed by imprisonment,
accompanied by a diet of bread and
water, on refusal to pay for each and
every time they pollute the atmosphere
with their profanity.
Helen E. Coolidge is a partner with
her father, an ex-judge, at Niles, Mich.
The firm name is Coolidge – Daughter.
TERMS—fl 50 rm. Jmam.
NO. 50.
Give Them Now
11 you have;'gentle words and looks, my
friends,
To spare lor me—if you have tears to shed
Thai I have suffered—keep them not, I pray,
Until I hear not, see not, being dead.
If you have flow’rs to give—fair lily buds,
White roses, daises (meadow-stars that be
Mine own dear namesakes)—let them smile
and make
The air, while yet I breathe it, sweet for
me.
For loving looks, though fraught with tender
ness,
And kindly tears, though they fall thick and
fast,
The words of praise, alas! can naught avail
To lift the shadows lrom s life that’s past.
And rarest blossoms, what can they suffice,
Offered to one who can no longer gaae
Upon their beauty ? Folw’rs in coffins laid
Impart no sweetness to departed days.
— Harper's Weekly.
MISCELLANEOUS.
There are 2,750 languages.
Georgia’s youngest grandmother is
twenty-six years old.
Life is worth the living, provided you
have a living.— New York News.
A leading hotel in Dundee, Scotland,
is furnished throughout with furniture
made in Grand Rapids, Mich.
The difference between a celebrated
scout and oscultation in a dray is that
one was Kit Carson and the other cart
kissin’.— Marathon Independent.
The New York flower mission dis
tributed 150,000 bouquets du ing the
last season among a hundred diflerent
hospitals, etc., and to the sick in tene
ment houses.
Of the 37,553 miners employed in the
gold mines of the colony of Victoria,
Australia, during the last quarter of the
year 1876, 28,443 were Europeans, and
9,110 were Chinese.
The owner of a lawn mower who gets
upatflve o’c.ock . . , m . tne morning to ex
on a P al W1 le neig or
thirteen . hens, two roosters
in bens .-Lockport Union.
3 men expend enough
scheming to obtain
g to make them *
fortune iffcippueU m™ ’soffit more
praiseworthy direction. — Middtetov.n
Transcript.
One of the greatest drawbacks to
love’s young dream is when her “ dear
papa” draws back his light fantastic
foot as a preliminary motion to adjourn
a front gate special session.— Modern
Ano. .Alpine
The Edelweiss, the white
flower which is such a favorite with
travelers, is becoming so very scarce
that the Swiss government has forbid
den its wholesale destruction, under
strict penalties.
ClaTk Mills, the sculptor, has been
presented by the Tennessee Historical
society with a beautiful gold-headed
cane made of hickory wood from the
Hermitage, Andrew Jackson's home.
This is the first testimonial ever given
to any one by this society.
A boy can imagine almost anything;
he can lug an old shotgun about all day
without firing at a living thing and be
under the impression that he is having
a howling good time. But all attempts
to induce a boy to imagine that he’s
killing Indians when he is sawing wood
have proved futile.
A Brilliant Vagrant.
A letter was received at the Allegheny
poor board office several days ago ask
ing information in regard to an aged and
insane tramp who had been arrested at
Butler, and whose case was before the
poor authorities of that county. He
stated that he came irom Pittsburg.
Nothing was known about him at the
Allegheny office, but later it has been
found out that he was at one time, about
thirty-five or forty years ago, a lawyer of
no little ability, a polished and eloquent
speaker, and a member of the State con
stitutional convention of 1837. He was
also'a politician of some note and took
an active part in the campaign which
resulted in the election of President
Pierce, and received as his reward the
position of United States minister to the
kingdom of Sardinia. Here he served
with no little ability until suddenly he
became insane, and while out of his
mind committed some acts which neces
sitated h'S immediate recall. He was
brought back to this country, and re
turned again to this city, where he at
tempted to re-establish his legal prac
tice, taking up an office in the Burke
building on Fifth avenue. But the story
of his insanity had preceded him, and
he was regarded with universal distrust.
Among other things he tried to recover
a large amount for tuition from a former
student in his office, and made great
efforts to reopen old eases in which he
had acted as counsel. He finally drifted
out of view and latterly has been com
pletely lost sight of bv those of bis old
colleagues who are still practicing.—
Pittsburg Telegraph.