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EDITORIAL ANECDOTES.
[From Arvine’s Cyclopsedia of Anecdotes of Literature and
the Fine Arts. From the press of Gould & Lincoln, Bos
ton.]
A SEVERE CUT.
A young would-be poet, with more
pretensions than genius, happened to
meet in a large party, one evening, an ed
itor who had rejected a number of his
contributions. The witling was exceeding
ly disposed to sneer and run the editor
upon his sapient criticism, until at length
the latter, in perfect good humour, cut
him short with, “Look here, my fine
spark, if you carry your joking much
further upon me, 1 will take ample re
venge by publishing one of your pieces
of poetry, without altering or correcting
it!” The shout of laughter that follow
ed was terriffic.
EDITORIAL PERPLEXITY.
During the dead season, the editor of a
country paper, being much distressed for
matter, ransacked every hole and corner
for intelligence, and, after having, as he
thought, completed his task, sat down to
dinner with what appetite he might. In
the middle of it he was interrupted by the
entrance of his familiar, alias “the devil,”
demanding “more copy.” “The vexing
fellow ! More copy !” said he. “Why,
have you put in the story of the tremen
dous mushroom found in Mr. Jones’s
field?” “Yes, sir.” “ And the account
of the prodigious crop of apples gathered
from Mr. Timrns’s tree ?” “ Yes, sir.” —
“And about Mr. Thompson’s kitten be
ing suckled by a hedgehog ?” “ Yes, ;
sir.” “And Air. Smith’s dreadful acci- !
dent with his one-horse chaise as he pass
ed down Holborn Hill?” “Yes, sir.”
“ About the men who stole the com out I
of the sacks in the farm-yard ?” “ Yes,
sir, it is all up, but there is still a line
and a half wanting.” “Then add,” said
he, with the utmost dignity. “ that they
au-da-ei ous-ly took and threshed it out on
the premises /”
EDITORIAL PERTINACITY.
The following dialogue once occured in ;
an editor’s sanctum in England. A dis
tinguished editor was in his study. A
long, thin, and ghostly visaged gentle
meh was announced. With an asthmatic
voice, but in a tone of civility, —for other
wise the editor would have transfixed him
with a fiery paragraph the next morning
—the stranger said, —
“Sir, your journal of yesterday con
tained false information.”
“ Impossible, sir. But tell me to what
you allude.”
“ You said Mr. M. had been tried.” i
“ True.”
“ Condemned.”
“ Very true.”
“ Hung.”
SOUTHERN LITERARY GAZETTE.
“ Alost true.”
“ Now t , I am the gentleman himself.”
“ Impossible.”
“I assure you it is a fact; and now I
hope that you will contradict what you
have alleged.”
“ By no means, sir.”
“How, what do you mean? You are
deranged.”
“ I may be so, sir, but l will not do it.”
“1 will complain to a magistrate.”
“As you please; but I never retract.
The most that I can do for you, is to an
nounce that the rope broke, and that you
are in perfect health. I have my prin
ciples, sir; I never deceive.”
what’s GOING ON?
*
“ One sunnny morning % quidnunc and
a bore was sauntering down Regent st.,
seeking whom he might devour with his
interminable twaddle. At length he
espies, approaching in hot haste, the wit
ty Douglass Jerrold. He stops and fast
ens on him. The quidnunc puts his usual
question, “Well, my, dear Jerrold, what’s
going on ?” Releasing himself, the wit
strides hastily away, exclaiming, “ /am/
THE SAFETY LAMP.
[From the “Claims of Science.”]
“ The safety lamp of Sir Humphrey
Davy is one of the most signal trophies
of Science, and will forever shed a halo of
light and honour around the name of its
inventor. Before Science bestowed this
simple gift upon the miner, the sacrifice
of life in the collieries was fearful in the
extreme. The annals of British mining
abound in heart-thrilling tales of death
and desolation, more terrible by far than
the carnage of the battle field. So dread
ful was the danger in the deep shafts of
the mines, when the fatal fire-damp began
to accumulate, that the only alternative to
destruction was instant flight and total
abandonment of the pit. Yet, at this
day, there are thousands of men, women
and children pursuing their daily toil in
the very bowels of the earth, a thousand
feet below its cheerful surface, in caverns
where no gleam of genial sunshine has
ever penetrated, where no sound of birds
and Nature’s varied music ever greets
the ear. There they toil, from morn till
night, excavating the dark and gloomy
sides of their prison-cells, surrounded by
an atmosphere in which are lurking the
elements of destruction, and which the
least spark of fire would suffice to set at
liberty, changing, in an instant, their liv
ing tomb into a charnel house of flame.
From this living death their protection is
a veil of fine metallic gauze, encompass
ing the lights by which they pursue their
labours. This wonderful lamp— outrival
ling that of Aladdin in its practical magie
—is the pure product of scientific re
search directed to a special end.”
Lesson for Sunday, Jan. 18.
CHRIST CRUCIFIED.
“ For I determined not to know any thing amonc vnn
Jesus Christ and him crucified.”-! Cor.fi 2 ’
This passage shows us the subject in
v T hich Paul felt the deepest interest, and
on which he most delighted to dwell
Note
A GLORIOUS SCENE EXHIBITED TO OUR
view. Christ crucified. And what do
we see here ?
Promises and prophecies accomplished.
These appear more like the minute de
tails of historical events than prophetic
declarations ; thus, the promises are beau
tifully linked with the fulfilment; and
the prophet and evangelist appear on the
field of truth, seeing eye to eye, and em
bracing hand in hand.
Types and shadows fulfilled. All the
splendid retinue of Jewish services and
sacrifices were preparatory to, and figura
tive of, the grand atoning sacrifice of Je
sus, presented at the dedication of the
gospel temple ; when he expired, it was
finished.
The evil of sin discovered. It appeared
odious when our first parents were driven
out of paradise, when the old world was
destroyed, and when the cities of the
plain were consumed; out in the cross
of Christ it is exceedingly sinful. There,
while Divine love appears in its bright
est form, human depravity assumes its
deepest dye.
The justice of God vindicated. The
sword of Divine -wrath was sheathed in
the bosom of Christ as our Surety; and
when he expired, full satisfaction was re
ceived, and not a spot or stain appears to
tarnish its lustre. The Almighty sus
tains his character as a just God, and yeti
is known as a justifier of believing sin
ners.
The riches of grace manifested. If we
are terrified by the lightnings and tem
pests of Sinai, we retire to the milder
atmosphere of Calvary, the darkness is
dispersed, and we hear the voice of love
and mercy.
The kingdom of Satan ruined. In the
field of battle, he who obtains the victo
ry does not conquer by death ; but Jesus,
“through death, has destroyed him that
had the power of death, that is, the devil.”
The salvation of man completed. This
was the amazing work he came to per
form, and he left not our world till he
had fully accomplished it. We have seen
this great sight; now let us notice
The manner in which it should be
regarded. While you are thus looking
to Christ crucified, mourn over the great
ness of your sins, wonder at the extent
of his love, believe in the efficacy of his
cross, and implore the agency of his Spi
rit; and then the theme of your contem
plation on earth shall be the burden of
your song in heaven.
[Jan. I 1 ?,