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VOLUME VII. BRUNSWICK, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 25,1882. NUMBER 34. The Advertiser and Appeal, IS PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY, AT BRUNSWICK, - GEORGIA, Cjr. »^ ■ subscription Bates. iot roeelfled, »n<l p»jro»«nt exwted accordingly. 3 Communications for lndlrldnal benefit, or of » ntrsonal character, charged aa advertisements. P Marrlsnc« and obituary notices not exceeding lour lines, sollctsd tor publication. When ex* cecdingthet apSoe, charged M adrertla«n«ta. Allletter*anjeommunicationa should be ad- dressed to the dndsci^^ed.^ „ ACY ' Brunswick, Oeorgia. Wildor, CITY OFFICERS. Mayor- M. J. Colson. ' Aldermen- J. J.Spejtta, J. P.Harvoy, filmier, 8. C. Littlefield. J. M. Coupor, W. W. Hardy, J. R. Cook. Clerk d Treasurer—James Houston. Chief Marthal—J. E. Lambrlght. Policemen—D. B. Goodbroad, W. H. Rainey, C. B. M A«pcr ofoEtr&Boute and Clark of Market—V. A. Moore. • ~ '• . Port Physician—J. 8. Main. City Physician—J. It. Robins. Sexton White Cemetery—C. G. Mooro. Sexton Colored Cemetery—Jackie Whito. Harbor Master—Matthew Shannon. Port Wardens—Thoa O’Connor, A. E. Wattles, J. M. Dexter. BTANDINO COMMITTEES OF COUNCIL. Finance—Wilder, Cook and Spears. * Street. Drains & BniDOEs—Harvey. Hardy and L To 1 \vt?!x)'mm4;|—Harvey, Hardy and Speir*. CciiETEnlt'^-I.ittlOfleld, Doerflinger and Hardy. HARBOR-HardyUrtCk And Littlefield,r Public BCiLDiNORrairvey, Couper and Wilder. IIailuoadk—WilderTopeara and Hardy. EuucATios-Cook, Couper and Wilder. Charity—Spears, Harvey and Cook. F;be department—Doortliiiger, Haray and Spears, Police—Wildor, Cook and Harvey. UNITED STATES OFFICERS. Collector of Customs—Jolm 1?, Collins. Postmaster—Lin ua North. Commissioner—C. H. Dexter. Shipping Commlaaloner—Q. J. Hall. OCEAN LODGE No. 214,FAME. I & ^ . *1 vdL cgular communications of this Lodgo sru held on first and third Hondaya In each month, at 7:30 [siting and all brethren In good standing are its- tally invited to attend. „,. vn ., n9 J. .1. 8FKAKS, . 0. E. FIANDLHS. Secratary. r LPOUT LODGE, Ho. 08, L 0. 0. ¥.. fleetsovory Tncaday. .J.'t. LAMURIOUT, V.O. S. E. LAMB1UG1IT, l*. & it. Secretary. BAY STREET, BRUNSWICK, - GA. Convenient to Business, the Railroads and the Steamboats, Furniture New, Table Good ©if W.C.MWCKOCO., angao-ly PROPRIETORS. AJSfECIAJ,Tr “Aceordln’to the Cnderatundln’” of* Hardshell Baptist. Tor the Advertiser add Appeal. recently preached bn the occasion of a general looVwasmng at the——- church at , Texas. The facts as to its delivery, verbatim et fiteratim, are satisfactorily substantiated. Oar friend Sidebottom was a char acter—in a moral view a true type of the Hardshell persuasion—a lean, ca daverous, strongly-marked speoimen of Primitive proclivities. Osteolog- ically, bis features were simply osse ous processes superficially outlined— especially so was the nasal appendage —aquiline would be too refined an expression. Imagine a nose of extra ordinary dimensions, representing the section of a circle, setting in the midst of diminutively dried up or famished surroundings. His dress, of econom ical dimensions, suitably adapted to ro lank a personage, was cut in ante diluvian style. His coat, a garment of npnsnal substance or consistency, bad been perpetuated from youth to maibood—the Caudal appendage of which was an ill-defined attempt at extremity, terminating only slightly below bis waistband, but was inces- santly relied upon, after, wild and wearied gesticulation, for the uncer tain retreat and Tepose of" his ‘hands. After what has been said of our friend’s nasal capacity, it will be read ily understood that the usual twang through that orifice produced an ac- anying tvhinsJtoat jjaje a {hyd- noconco to 'the sonbroue out bursts of his eloquence. But we will hear bim: “Belov-ed bretbering: In the flesh I shall have but little to say, but as I expect the Lord will spiritualize my understanding I will endeavor to eu- liten and instrnct you through the dark and mysterious ways of this life to the bright and glorious mansions prepared for you up yander. It is us ual, my belov-ed friends, with many to select from God’s word a subject or text that will conform to the views of the preacher, and I have given this matter my deep and undivided reflec tion for lo, these many years, and, ac cordin’ to my understand^’ of it, I have pretty generally concluded it is right, and, therefore, through the promptin’s and will of the spirit, I se lect and adopt for the burden of my teachin’ this beautiful and afflictin' passage of the holy scripturs: ‘ Peter’s wife’s mother lay sick of a fever.’ “This text, my belov-ed bretbering, will be found somewhere, I think, if I am not mistaken, within the range of my gospel duties, and with the fullest confidence in that fact, I shall look to divine inspiration for my mind to widen and narrow npon this subject, accordin’ to my nnderstandin’ of it, jist as the wimming do in shapin’ their knittin’. There can be no doubt, my belov-ed friends, of the truth as set forth, that 'Peter’s wife’s mother did lay rack of a fever,’ but as to the bind or degree of the affliction the re- cordin' JayS>tij^gyifh not, bnt that the old woman suffered seemeth clear enough, accordin’ to my underetand- in’ of the matter. yfbtohelOt were path. We are bigh-falntin’ creators to-day, but to-morrow may be cut down and lay-ed low, as tne lilies of $e valley. #eeo«din’ to my nnderstandin’, Stilotoon himself was not arrayed as hire of these—ah. Oh, feBow-sufieKts, look at it—ahl— |oj) your, hsn&lh token of despair, gpfl ’pray 1 iVfrkl the mountings not fall upon yon—sh—lor then are several among you—ah—that de- Gents’Fumishing Goods I k*r* Jut opened, la (tor* at Memn. Moon* McCrary. A liandaome Una of abort gooda, which I t ropoea aaOlng at prieet Never Before Known! Cali on me and aeo ay stock, which wm bouf ‘-ipreaily for thia market. J. B. WRIGHT. billions or of the ketchin’ kind we are not at the present time informed, bat that it was not of the ketchin’ kind, accordin’ to my nnderstandin’, I am made to believe, from the fact that the well-informed author of the infor mation fm have reoordeth not a soli tary instance of another case of fever throughout that neighborhood. Thus, my frail brethren, the Lord remind eth ns, accordin’ to my nnderstandin’, serveth the scythe of the destroyer— ah 1 On I come to the fount of every blessin’ and be cleans*ed—ah. As my voice is intended to reach the general ear—ah—I cry onto yon, Jeems Tug- mntton, like unto Panl npon the ram page, once the leadin’ bell-wether of iniquity—ah—oh, come with your flock of filthy and unwashed compan ions in corruption and be deans-ed— ah—come without money and without price for water is plenty—ah—while the saints of the church—ah—stand robed in white, trith karsene lamps ready trimm-ed—ah—1£> lead you to the angelic hosts wit^ songs of praise —ah—amid the dulcet sounds Of thef tronjon and the hugog-^h—and the uncommon sweetness of the varyin’ tones of the far-ofl fuzzy-guzzy—all— notwithstandin’ ‘Peter’s wife’s mother lay sick of a fever.’ The spirit of God, my bretbering, is as white as snow—yes, accordin’ to my understanding as white as wool, and, through the spirits of just men made perfect, we may be made like unto bim—like unto mm—ab—think of.it, 'brethering—likft, unto him—ab! Let this be as a bartAPJ a thousand strings upon youf ear—ah—and bein’ true to the Primitive church at this place, like unto him, or pretty much so—ah—and though the winds may howl—ah—and considerable-s i z e d hail may fall—ah—though the storm cloud may ride the hurricane—ah— though the rains may descend till No ah’s second coming—ah—and an un usually loud clap of thunder—ah— crack the thick rotundity of the world —ah world—u h world—a h— will some of the bretheriug sue that the crackin’ of peu-nuts yander bo stopped in the bouse of God—for— for ‘Peter’s wifo’s mother lay sick of a fever.’ We are tought, bretboring, by the inspiration of God, thoroughly fur nished onto all good works. Now let us look into this matter; The eagle buildoth her nest of many little sticks, accordin’ to my understanding some thing smaller thangarding pea-sticks, for the safety of her young, upon high places, considerably above the reach, I suppose, of egg-suckin’ quadrupeds, bnt howlin’ winds and ragin’ stqrms beset that nest, and little stick by lit tle stick is torn from the protectin’ fabrication till bnt a single prop re- maineth to the juvenile offspring; then cometb, as I believe, jist in the niek of time, the afflicted mother, and np on wide-spread wings, accordin’ to my understand^’, in spread-eagle style, and took her belov-ed brood to a place of rest and security. Jist so, my bretbering, accordin’ to my nn derstandin’, in your last hour—ah— being cradled in iniquity—ah—with bnt a single prop to yonr salvation— ah—will come, I may say probably, the blessed spirit of mercy—ah—and npon considerably wide-spread wings of brightness—ah—amidst a circle of glory, will waft yon with an unexpect ed degree of comfort over Jordan—ah —that hard road to travel, I believe —ah—to realms of rest and nover- fading delightfulness—ab—t hough •Peter’s wife’s mother lay sick of a fever.’ When I got up to address you, my good Lord that I might be strength* ened to a go6d Work over • Wide field of thO scripture; bah MdiiIf to my understSndin’.heis not pleased that I should embark so deeply, for sufferin’ somewhat in my present state from severe flnenza and wastin’ debility, I find that the fiesb is weak, and that I oast draw my conclusions to a close, and with one other admon ishment, in view of my; text, I will leave the matter with you, that you may overhaul your Bibles, and if you don’t find it accordin’ to my under- standin’, have nothing to do with my doctrine. “In conclusion, my dearly belov-ed brethering, by some it hath been said that the whangdoodle moumeth, but believe it not This, accordin’ to my nnderstandin’, is a trap of the imps of darkness—the devil himself would have your sympathy for sufferin’ de formity. As it was in— ‘Adam’n fall , Wo «lmi*cd fill/ when satan appeared to our abom inably weak mother and beguiled her in the form of an unusually festooned nutke, he woulu now lmvo you whang- doodled, accordin’ to my undSibtim'di in’j fa vour sympathies for one ! ef' hfsf ovrti who mourneth. Oh, my #ehk- mindocf and snscoptible frietd&bo' ndt bamboozled and deceived; BidttJ^sfcOnt Von this shield’oi defenoe-^ahi-to you will find it in the text—ah— The* Were All Poor Bor*, l b An exchange culls the following his torical fkete, which enoouraget. •very young man struggling under discouragements and poverty: John Adams, second President, was the son of a farmer of very moderate The only start he bad was a good education. Andrew Jackson was born inn log bnt in North Carolina, and was raised in the pine woods for which the State is famous. / ■James E. Polk spent the earlier years of his life helping to dig a living out of a new farm in North Carolina. He was afterwards a clerk in a coun try store. ^Millard Fillmore was the son of. fj New York former, and bis boose lyaa a very humble one. He learned" the, business of clothier. ' -. James Buchanan was born m,, small town among the Alleghany mountains. 1 Hit father cut the logs and built his own house in rthat 'Wrf^ tbeaa> wilderness. • Abraham Ianooln was the 1 son of ir very poor Kentucky former, and lived Hn a lag-cabin ubti! he WM twekty£ ob# ymSrot-Sg*. "" '■'* t*n «di»vo AndreW Johnson 1 * Oppffefiticed; to • tailor, at the lag* of ten ibis widowed mother. t He Wi& never* able fo'attend school, ana pSekfed 'up ! Ln au~ kAdUfiL lifiAf{ Affi BftW where, accordin’ to my undMu^tt*. yonr deepest kympfithietf shdhlfi'fft^ nh^o ‘Peter’s Wifi’S 4*8* of the danger that layeth in our own j belov-ed bretbering, I prayed to the sick of a fever. 3 '•f !m!mO vsmij wossti&tassa For People Who Have Wo* Cut Their Eye Teeth. Of what is the surface of the earth composed?” Of corner lots, mighty poor roads, railroad tracks, baseball grounds, cricket fields and skating links.” “What portion of the globe is wa ter ?” About threo-fourths. Sometimes they add a little giu and nutmeg to it.” “ What is n town ?” “A town is a considerable collection of housos and inhabitants, with four or five men who ‘run the party’ and lend money at 15 per cont interest. “ What is a city ?" “A city is an incorporated town with a mayor who believes that the whole world shakes when he happens to fall flat on a crosswalk." “ What is commerce ?” “ Borrowing five dollars for a day or two and dodging the lender for a year or two.” “ Name the different races.” “Horse race, boat race, bicycle race and racing around to find a man to indorse your note.” “ Into how many classes is mankind divided?” “Six; being enlightened, civilized, half-civilized, savage, too utter, not worth-a-cent and .Indian agents.” “ What nations are called enlight ened?” “Those which had the most wars, the worst laws and prodnfied the worst criminals.” “How many motions has the earth ?” “That’s aooording to how you mix our drinks and which way you go r _ home. “ What is the earth’s axis ?” “The lines passing between New York and Chicago.” ■ 1 “ What causes day and night ?” “ Day is caused by. night getting tired ont Night is caused by every body taking the street car and going home to supper.” “ What is a map ?" “ A map is a drawing to show the jury where Smitn stood when Jones gavo him a lift under the oyo.” “ What is a mariner’s compass ?" “A jug holding four gallons.” the education hg#W* '** m a common house,: W s ojj ^he Ohjo river p^l he wqs, i ir mUbmJm. log-cabin. He worked on the form from the time he was strong enough to nsecarpenter tools, when Relearned, the trade. He afterwards worked on the canal. I'Jff ,j:D* Weatern Conn Anecdote. One day a notorious horse thief was captured and brought into court to bo committed. While the examina tion was in progress the prosecuting attorney and sheriff stepped to the door. The thief seized the opportu nity and clapped in the squire’s band a $20 gold piece with tho remark: “Hold tho case until dark; then dis miss for error in the complaint. It sets forth that a horse has been sto len, while tho evidenco shows it was a mare.” The case went tripping along until the son bad dropped bobind tho hills and darkness shadowed the land. Then the coqrt raised the borso-and- mare question, and dismissed the prisoner. Before new complaint could be made he was far away under cover oi darkness. The squire then ad-” journed the court and went straight home in high glee. Arriving there he elapped the ‘doable sawhack* over his eye and went capering around like a young colt Sapper being over, be repaired to the barn to feed bis beast. Bnt, lot she was gone. He* had a bogus coin in his pocket, while the thief was bestride his beautiful mare over the hills and for away. * 1 ■ in' ' br.i" iiur boy*. ' mm A lazy boy . mokes a lazy man. as re as a crooked sapling makes a crooked tree. Whoever saw a boy grow up in idleness that did not make a shiftless vagabond when he became a man, unices he had a fortune left him to keep np appearanoe? The gnat- mass of thieves, criminals and paupers have come to what they are by being brought np in idleness^— Those who constitute the buniucaa part of the community—those who make ns great and useful men-r-were taught in their boyhood to bo indas* trious. LGY25-I)"