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THE HERALD AND ADVERTISER.
VOL. XXII.
NEWNAN, GA., FRIDAY, MAY 20, 1887.
NO. 31.
if
JOHN
THE LEADER
IF I HAD KNOWN.
ADELAOE D. BOLL6TO>*.
She lay with lilies on her pulseless breast.
OF LOW prices;
JUST BACK FROM NEW YORK!
THE NEW GOODS ALL IN NOW.
Dim, woodland lilies wet with silver dew.
“Dear heart,” he said, “in life she loved them
best!
For her sweet sake the fragrant buds were
blown,
For her in April-haunted nooks they grew—
* * • Oh, love,if I had known!
“If I had known, when yesterday we walked
Her hand in mine, along the heders fair,
That ev-n then th^ while we careless talked,
The shadow of a coming loss was th**re.
And death’s cold hand was leading us apart—
If I had known tne bud she would not wear
Nor touch, lest she should mar that perfect
grace, "
To-day would press its dewy, golden heart
Against er poor, dead face!
“Last year, when April woods were all aglow,
She said, ‘If it be death to tall asleep,’
And, bending, kissed the lilt*-s sweet and wet,
‘A dreamless sleep from which none awake
to weep—
When I lie down to that long slumber, dear,
JOHN KEELY
orrERs you this week
STARTLING ATTRACTIONS IN EVERY
DEPARTMENT.
DRESS GOODS!
fi00 pieces brocade Dress Goods, 4c. yard.
All colors in Cheese Cloths, fine quality, Gc
yard, worth 10c.
Beautiful gray mixtures 8c., worth 12‘^c
anywhere.
Very line grade Nun’s Veilings, wool filling,
Wc. yard, worth 16c.
100 pieces spring shades Cashmeres
yard.
150 pieces “Cable Twills” spring colors, 12»*c.
yerd.
Beautiful lot Spring Worsteds, and 15c.
yard.
Black and colored Albatros wool dress goods
16c. yard.
Double width Cashmeres and grey mixtures
He. yard.
Choice evening Nuu’s Veilings, etc., at 20c.
yard.
Lovely double width Cashmere and Nun's
Veilings, 25c. yard.
Beautiful Cashmeres, Ionian cloths, etc., G-4,
S5e. yard.
Flannel suitings, Albatros Cloths, etc. All
color*, 50c. yard.
Camelcttes, Serges, Diagonals, Camels Hair,
Albatros, Gray mixtures, ccrdcd Batistes,
Checks, Gray and Brown mixtures, ‘etc., In
line French goods at.50c., 75c. and II a yar ‘.
Lovely goods 1
It bids fairly to disrupt the trade of this
season in that particular branch. It will do It
too.
All the benefits arising from “this slaugh
ter” of a most desirable class of goods are laid
before you at JOHN KEELY’S!
180 pieces “Batiste Claire”
and 35c., lovely goods!
Li ue ns—20, 25,
Excellent Bargains in Plain Nainsooks!
Superb Values In Victoria Lawns, 6 to 50c.
yard!
Fine Stock BISHOP’S LAWNS, all prices
White Linen Lawns, at every known price
Extra fine grades, checked India Linens!
Persian Lawns in every color!
White and Cream Mulls In every quality!
FANS.
Challenge the
Fans!
South on
Stupendous Bargains in Dotted and Figured
Swiss!
Llnou Di Daca Lawns 12>Jc. to 50c. yard!
The largest stock of Persian Lawns in Geor
gia!
But the effort to enumerate fully the variety
of White Goods here offered were vain!
THIS NEWSPAPER
Positively does not afford SUFFICIENT
SPACE to enable me to dilute fully upon the
details of the wonderful offerings now being
made lit this department.
JohnKeely’s MILLINERY
Department is being made still
more attractive by the daily
additions which are being made
to the stock. Every Novelty
of the season will be found
here in the greatest prolusion.
A truly fcuperb Stock of
Goods!
Close upon the Heels of
WHITE GOODS
COME
EMBROIDERIES
All the evening shades in all grades and
Ices. -H rflJI ft I
Beautiful Hpring stock of Worsted Dress
Goods, embracing all tho French novelties of
JOHN KEELY’S
LACE MITS
Bent the world for their beauty anil etarapne
Such offering!, have never been made in this
desirable class of goods. Tho variety Isslinply
Immense!
Tho Stock of EBROIDERIES is
MAMMOTH!
“PET” DEPARTMENT.
No wonder that it “BLOOMS” as it
does in the way of sales, for enough
CAPITAL, LA BOR and THOUGHT ha*
been os ponded upon it to run a pretty
good sized
60 Solid Cases or
NE WHITE MUSLIN DRESS GOODS!
>m tlte Laroest Auction Sale of tlie
Season.
PURCHASED
at about one-half their value!
Ithey will be sold at about that
. RATIO.
|You have never seen anything
like them.
, 15 .olid eases of the FINER grades white
India Muslins In short lengths, but in perfect
ondttlon. at 8.10,12.4 and 15c. a yard. Every
lUillOU, at o, i.’j nuu
j worth double its price.
White checked Muslins at 5,6, S, 10,12& and
foods not to be matched for the
price.
An innumerable variety of
STRIPES, CHECKS
And Fancy Weave wiiite India Linens
at S, 10, 12} aJ and lac.,
I Goods never intended to sell Jfor less than
louble their price!
DRY GOODS STORE.
$30,000
THE STYLES AND QUALITIES
ARE TOO NUMEROUS
TO NAME.
But they brat everyth’ng ever offered
in Fans in this or any other market.
They range in price from 5c.
up to $3.50!
YOU CAN MATCH THEM NO
WHERE ELSE.
They aro Laid Out so you can see them
at a Glance I
THE STOCK IS IMMENSE!
The Variety is Unsurpassed.
They are selling like
“HOT CAKES!”
Price and Quality Will Sell
A ny Quantity of
Anything.
LACE MITS!
1* ometliing Very Attractive
I Closed Out a Lot of 1,500
Dozen Black and Colored
Lace Mils.
JOHN KEELY’S
Stock of Black Summer Dress
Goods is immense ; 100 differ
ent styles of Black Dress Goods
in stock, in both Jet and Blue
Black, in every grade, style
and effect. No possibility of
you failing to find just what
you need here in Black Dress
Goods!
LADIES’ MUSLIN UNDER
WEAR.
Ladies Chemise 25,35, 50,6”, 75, S5c, $1,
$1.25, $1.50 and up to $2.00 each.
Ladies’ Night Gowns 50, 60, 75 90c., $1
and finer grades.
Ladies’ Walking Skirts 35, 40, 50,75,*1,
$!.25 and finer grades.
Lad ies’ M uslin Drawers 25,50c, $1, $1.50,
etc
ONE WORD!
T his lot of Underwear ex
cels for beauty of design, qual
ity and finish anything ever
offered in Atlanta. The unan
imous verdict of the ladies is
favorable. They are picked up
very rapidly.
$5,000 WORTH OF NEW
PARASOLS.
And life for you has dark and empty srown,
Come to me th**n. and though I shall not hear.
Lay your sad lips to mine, and whisper low
(If I had known! Oh. love, If I had known’
That you would not forget. f “
Ladies’ Gingham Parasols and Sun
Umbrellas.
Ladies’ Alpaca Parasols and Sun Um
brellas.
Blaek Silk ParasGls and Sun Umbrel
las at $1, $1.25. $1.35, $i.50, $1.75 and $2.10
each. Natural Sticks.
Fine Black Silk Parasols, Pearl Han
dles, HALF PRICE, at $1, $1.50, $1.75,
and $2.00 each; positively worth double
the price.
I OBTAINED THEM FOR A SONG.
If your voice id any whero near Mediocre
You Can Get What You Want
of Them.
They Embrace the Best Goods Made!
They Embrace Nothing Worth less than
$6 per Dozen. They Run up as Hitch in
Value as $1 per Dozen.
'i isses" Black Lace Mits, fine goods, 15
pair, worth (:0c.
WORTH OF EMBROIDERIES
In tills Stock to-day.
The Bales of Embroideries in this
House just now are l mining up to Irom
$S00 to $1,000 a Da*!
THIS MEANS SOMETHING!
Hamburg Edgings and Insertions to
match, 5c. to$l ^ard!
Lovely Nainsook Embroideries, from
the “Daiutiest” little beauties, to the
widest, grandest Flouncings with inser
tions to match.
Mull and Swiss Embroideries in sets
of fouraud live widths to mat^h.
Sweetest Tttle “Bain* Sets” in Mull and
Nainsook.
Superb line of Skirtings from the low
er^ to tho highest grades made.
This auction sale was a ruin-
lus measure ! The low prices
Jbtained at this sale caused
e a commotion in Dry
foods circles.
100 different styles of Colored Embroid
eries in all the widths to match, with sol
id color Lawns to match all of them.
Hundreds of “Allover” Embroideries,
from 75c. to $5.00 a yard.
The truth is that never before has such
an Immense Stock, such a Surpising Va
riety or such au Array of Beautiful Em-
uroideries ever been laid before the
Ladies of any Southern City as that now-
offered at
JOHN KEELY’S
Ladies’ Black and Colored Lace Mits,
20c. pair, worth 65c.
Ladies’ Superfine Black and Colored
Lace Mits, 25c. pair, worth 75c.
Ladies’ Lace Mits 35c. pair, worth 85
anywhere.
REMEMBER!
Tills Is no Mere Exaggeration! It Is Fact!
Ladies’ Black ind Colored Laee Mits,
40 and 50c. pair, worth $1.00.
Ladies’ Light Colors—Lace Mits, the
best made, 60c. worth $1.25. -
WELL!
TUis settles the Lace Mlt question for the
Season.
Notning like them lias ever been shown
here before.
Nothing like them will ever be shown
here again.
To examine them is to purchase them.
Ladies’ Fine Mourning Parasols at
from $2 to $5 each,
Black Satin and Black Laee Parasols,
half price.
Colored Fine Satin Parasols, half price.
BARGAINS IN PARASOLS.
Any quantity of novelties in Parasols
viz: in White and Cream Parasols, Fan
cy Fine Black Lace Parasols, Fan
cy Colored Silk Parasols, Colored Bro
cade Parasols, Fancy colored Satin Par
asols; in fact
An Immense and Beautiful Stock
PARASOLS!
And at prices which fairly startle the
purchaser! You will find just any
kind of a Parasol ye x need here.
LACE CURTAINS.
A BOOM IN
A Rare Piece of Western Humor,
Dan De Quille, in Salt Lake Tribune.]
Tom Colette, with two friends whom
I shall christen Joe and Jake
was making a slow aud painful jour
uey Itom Pine Grove. They camped
oue afternoon near some hot springs
not far from Walker lake. Discover
ing a large hole or pool that was full
of cold water and convenient to one of
the hottest springs, they turned the
hot water, as it flowed out of the
spring, into the pool until the hot and
cold water blended made exactly the
right temperature for a bath. This
done, they plunged in and enjoyed the
delicious water as only those can
who have ttaveled some days over
dusty alkali trails in hot weather.
When supper was over and they had
lighted tbeir pipes the theme of con
versation for a long time, as they
smoked, was the delightsome bath
they had taken, and the wonderful
sense of refreshment it bad brought
them. Full of the joy of it, they
spread their blankets on a grassy spot
beneath some willows, a few yards
distaut from the spring, and fell
asleep.
Tom was up with the dawn. Recol
lections of bis flue bath of the previ
ous evening were still fresh in mind
So, bounding up from his blankets
with a skip and a jump he plunged in
to the pool to his middle. With i
groan of agony he sprang out again
with the agility of a wildcat. The ho:
water had been running all night.
Hours before dawn thecool-waterpool
had been rendered almost a- hot as
that of the hot spriDg itself. Brief as
had been the period between his en
try and his exit, Tom’s lair skin was
exchanged to the color of a bo-led loh
s’er. He was soon in a terrible state,
as the skin was almost suffii-ieiiiix
cooked to peel off. As he asserted, h-
“was as tender as a young pullet thai
had been cooked two hours." Wit!
infinite care he drew on his panla
loons and boots, though be felt as
though the cooked flesh were peeling
■ •ft iu strips wherever his clothing
touched him. Foicing back the tears
of anguish that were welling out of
his eyes Tom crept back to camp.
Though it wasa most difficult thing t
no, he put on his old-time frank stnih
as he neared the sleeping place at the
willows. Jake had awakened and wa:
sitting on his blankets, gaping aud
stretching.
Seeing Tom approach, Jake asked
where he had been—if he had been
out looking after the ponies. Tom re
plied that be had so enjoyed Lis bath
••t the evening before, and had been so
much benefited by it, that he could
not think of breaking up camp without
repealing "
Lace Curtains and Curtain Laces.
Lovely tot Scrim goods, 124 and J5c.
yard, half price.
Beautiful printed
goods 15c., worth 25.
Madras Curtain
Superb “Etamine” Lace goods, 20, 25,
and 35c. yard, cheap.
l.Ot 0 pairs Laee Curtains 90c., $1, $1.25,
$1.50, $1.75 pair.
Better grade goods away up to fine
grades.
Nottingham Curtain Laces at from 10
to 35c- yard.
SPRING WRAPS!
John Keely’s SHOE DE
PARTMENT is one of the
marvels of the trade to-day!
1 he run of patronage is im
mense, but the stock is the
largest and the best ever placed
before the Atlanta public! No
Shoddy Goods. No Trash.
But the best “Custom Made”
Goods, every pair of which is
warranted!
1,500 Ladles Caslimere Scarfs $1 eacQ;
beautiful tMngs.
1,000 fine Embroidered Scarfs at from
$1.50 to $7 each! AU colors, various styh s,
etc.
A fine line of ladies’ Cashmeie Shawls,
in every grace of goods at p« ices rang
ing from fl.50 to $10 each, in black, light
blue, white, cream, cardinal, pink, etc-
SILKS!
Black Silks at from 50, 60. 75. S5J90, $1,
$1.15, $1.25, $1.35, $1,50, $1.65, $1.75 and up to
finest grades of Silks made.
Every Black Silk above 90c. vard is
GUARANTEED!
No such a variety of Black Silk in
Georgia!
A fine line of Summer Silks, Solid
Color Gros Grain Silrs, Black aud Col
ored Satins. Rhadames, etc., all colors
and grades of quality.
Thousands ol Novelties is Trimming
Silks, Satins aud Velvets. Ah new. All
fresh.
“Jake, ’ said he, “It’s just lovely!"
Jake did not wait to hear more.
Bouncing up from his blankets he
rushed away toward the pool. As
swiftly as he could move, considering
the tender condition of hi- -kiu, Tom
followed, and dodging behind aeon
venient clump of willows, kepi covert
watch. Jake threw off the lew duds
in which he bad slept, bounced inti'
■ he pool, uttered a yell of mingled n
guish and rage, then clawed his wa>
out upon the green turf with theceler-
ity of an adder. As soon as be stood
erect be began making swift applica
tions of bis open hands to various
parts of his body to arrest the paiD,
each particular square inch of his side
seeming to hurt worse than the other.
All this time be was swearing a blue
streak. Louder aud louder rose hi-
voiee, as light begau to break upon his
mind, when Tom stepped out from hi-
hiding place, eryiug: “Hush up!
Would you bawl like a bull calf aud
give us away, when that other sou ot
a gun up in the camp is not yet cook
ed? You and I have had our dose.
Man,wemustconk him orweshall nev-
ear the last of it!" Soothed by this,
Jake carefully drew on bis trousers
and shirt and the pair leisurely pro
ceeded to camp.
By this time Joe had commenced to
rouse up. Seeing Tom and Jake ap
proaching he asked if they had “fuuud
the stock—the ponies?”
“Pouies, no,” said Tom, “we
haven’t been looking for the ponies.
We have been takiug a bath. Do you
thiDk,”eaid be, as be stood holdiDg
his pantaloons away from the rear ot
his persou, “do you think we’d break
camp without one more magnificent
swim? Not much.”
At tlii Joe sprang up crying: “Not
much, you bet!” and dashed away to
ward the little pond. As Joe disap
peared behind the willows Tom sprang
for his pistol and took off all the caps
He and Jake then secured their own
revolvers, Tom crying: “G t your
pistol, Jake—quick! There’ll be bus
iness when Joe conies back!” In
about two minutesJoe did come back
He washowliugand cursing furiously,
and, all naked as he was, ueverstopped
running until be got his six-shooter in
his hand.
“Drop it,” said Tom, "‘Ihave a dead
bead on you ana so has Jake. Be
sides, I took all the caps off yourguri.”
The difficulty was amicably settled
as soon as Jake and Tom had related
their experience. The trio took tbeii
breakfast standing that morning and
—to spare the pooi-s—they did not
ride much for the succeeding three
days.
It can be achanning and model in
fant when no one is around, hut when
visitors are present it can exhibit more
bad temper than both of its parents
together.
I can brighten up a house better than
ail the furniture ever made; make
sweeter music than the finest orches
tra orgauized; fill a larger place in its
parents’ breasts than they knew they
had, ana when it goes away it can
cause a greater vacancy and leave a
greater blank than all the rest of the
world put together.
Bill Nye’s Answer to an Eager Cor
respondent.
Rodney L. Patigboru, of Tuscon, A.
T., writes as follows:
“I dearly love a young lady here
who a year ago led me to believe that
she wa» not displeased with me.
“I know that she is my superior in
many ways, as her folks keep a girl,
whereas my mother does her own
work; but need that cause us to drift
apart?
“I think that where two fond hearts
throb in unison, and » here a young
person of my sex earnestly and devot
edly loves a young person of a diamet
rically different sex, and he des’re-
her to be his’n and would not mind
being her’n, ought our difference in
station to make any difference in our
destiny?
-‘What do you think of my penman-
ship?”
It is difficult to answer you, Rod
ney, without being flippant, hut I
know by the lone of your letter that
you do not feel flippant and you would
resent it if I were to treat your query
in that way,so I will try to talk to you
the same as I would discuss the matter
if it were my own.
Socially we are always at war, Rod
ney. If your mother had kept a girl
your own father rnit ht have kicked
you into a shapeless mass, cursed you
and disinherited you for loving a
young thing whose mother did not
keep a girl, or you might have fallen
in love with oDe whose parents kept
two girls.
I know of a case where a young
man named Randall, whose parents
were plain people, his father having
been in the well digging and pump
industry, aspired to the hand of a
young woman whose bands had never
yet been immersed in dishwater.
Her parents also maintained a cot
tage organ and a Brewster side-bar
buggy with red running gear.
One day he was ridiDg on the same
train with her and heard her ex. ress
a desire for a bunch of beautiful peri
winkles that grew In beauty on the
railroad right-of-way, regardless of and
entirely oblivious 'to the interstate
commerce bill.
The train only halted at that point
for an instant in order that a man
»’ilh a sledge hammer and a dash of
aron his nose might pound on the
•ar wheels in a desultory kind of way
Mr. Randall was anxious to procure
the entire group of periwinkles aud so
he delayed too long.
In jumping ou the platform, ham
pered as he was by the bouquet, he
missed his footing and also oue of his
legs.
I will not go into details, Rodney, for
it would be useless ar.d vain
Suffice it to say that bis great sacri
fice availed him naught.
The periwinkles for which he swap
ped his fair young leg on that bright
and balmy spring day have long since
faded, and as Mr. Randall in the
gloaming sadly unbuckles his white
>ak leg and hangs it at the bead of his
lonely bed, he may be heard to ejaeu
late something in regard to the folly
of striving to leap across a broad social
hasm.
But you are still young, Rodney,
and you might yet win the object of
vour love by winnings place upon the
social plane equal to that of the party
yon refer to.
Your penmanship is good. It is
highly ornamental and reminds me of
a woven wire mattress. The red ink
you use also enhances the effulgence
>f vnurchirography a good deal.
Yon would succeed in a large count-
ng house I tbiuk. Yon could prop
the door open with yourself iu sum
mertime, and in winter you could be
a railroad cut rate sandwich.
All Light There.
M. L. Rayne iu the Detroit Free Press.]
Children are happy counselors!
They are to our bard, practical, ev
ery-day lives wbat the stars are to the
heavens, or the flowers and birds to
the earth.
Ah! what wou'd the world be to us
If the children were no more?
We should dread fhe desert behind us
j than the dark belore.
There is a family in this city who
are dependent at this moment npou a
little child for ail the present suDsbihe
of their lives.
A fews weeks ago the young wife
and mother was stricken down to die.
It was so sudden, so dreadful when
the grave family physician called
them together iu the parlor, and in bis
solemn professional way intimated to
them the truth—there was no hope!
Then the question arose among
them, who would tell her?
Not thedoetor! It would be cruel to
let the man of science go to their dear
one on such an errand
Not the aged mother, who was to be
left childless aud aloue!
Nor the ynuug husband, who was
walking the floor with clenched bands
and rebellious heart.
No—there was only ope other, and
at this moment he looked up from the
book he had been playiug with un
noticed by them all ana asked giave-
ly:
“Is my mamma doin’ to die?”
Then, without wailing for an an
swer. he sped from the room and up
stairs as fast as his little feet would
carry him.
Friends aDd neighbors were watch
ing by the sick woman. They son-
deritigly noticed the pale face of the
child as he climbed on tbe bed aud
laid his small head on his mother’s
pillow.
“Mamma,” he asked in sweet, ca
ressing tones, “is you ’fraid to die?”
Tbe mother looked at him with
swift intelligence. Perhaps she had
been thinking of this.
“Who—told—you—Charlie?” she
asked faintly.
“Doctor an’ pppa an’ gamma—ev
erybody,” be whispered. "‘Mamma,
dear Title mamma, doan’ be ’fraid to
die,’ill you?”
“No, Charlie,” said the young moth
er afier oue supreme pang of grief;
“no, mamma won’t be afraid!”
“Jus’ shut your eyes in e’ dark,
mamma; keep hold my hand—an’
when you open ’em, mamma, it’ll
be all light there.”
WbeD the family gathered awe
stricken at the bedside, Charlie held
up bis little band.
“Hu s-h! My mamma doan to
sleep. Her wou’t wake up here any
more!”
Aud so it proved. There was no
heartrending farewell, no agony oi
parting, for when the young mother
woke she had passed beyond, and as
baby Charley said : ‘‘It was ail iighi
ibeie!”
ADVERTISING RATES.
One square 1 tnon tb, - - - • - $ 2 0#
One square 3 months, ----- 350
One square 6 mi nths. - - - - - 6 00
One square 12 inontbs, ----- 10 JO
Quarter coluii n I month, - - - 5 0*
Quarter column 3 months, - - - 12 0®
Quarter column 12 months, - - - 30 0®
Half column 1 month, ----- 7 SO
naif column 3 months, - - - - 2f (J
Half column 12 months, - - - - 60 00
One column 1 month, ----- 10 00
One column 3 months, - - - - 25 00
One column 12 months, - - - - 100 00
tbe money to the bank. He had bia
lawyer draw up a will in which he bo-
qUeaihed the sum of $100,000 to tbo
bank, being the sum borrowed on aucb
date, less $2,400, being tbe amount
charged for two years’ enforced idle*
ness at $100 a month.
Life Insurance.
No man, uoless he is able to leave
bis family provided for, can afford to
ignore lileiosurauce. There are tbous*
auds ol widows and children that
would to-day be in destitution but for
the thoughtful care of tbe husband
aud father. We can all call to mind
men who receive handsome salaries,
and whose families have every com*
fort and many luxuries. They spend
all that is made aud seem never to
thi uk of the consequences should death
stalk m and remove tbe head of tbe
family. Whatau awful thing to be
arrested iu the midst of activity, tbe
children’s > ducaliuu stopped, the dear
wife’s Comforts curtailed, the whole
aspect of tbe world for your family
changed! And yet there are many
sensible men to whom these thoughts
never come, especially if they are in
the enjoyment of good health. But,
ah! how little warning we sometimes
have of the approach of death. It ia
like a thief iu the night. There are
few people who would be willing to
have their houses uuinsured. They
would be restless, almost demented,
roe fear of a tire, aud yet the human
body with its wonderful mechanism is
more liable to perish than a house is to
be cousumed. The wife should urge
it upon her husband to insure his life,
auu to keep up his policies, unless a
fortune comes to him which would
render such a course useless. Not tba
least important pari of the business is
to deal with au established and relia*
ole agency. Avoid these companies
of “mushroom” growth, who prom
ise everything anu perform nothing.
BESIDES
The best Li«<■ of Solid Color and Black
Plain Silk Velvets and Velveteens ever
shown here.
AT JOHN KEELY’S,
i8,60,62 AND 64 WHITEHALL AND 8 AND 10 HUNTER STREETS,
ATLANTA GA,
Ten Things a Baby Can Do.
It can beat auy alarm clock ever in
vented, waking a family up in the
morning.
Give it a fair show and it can smash
more dishes than the most iudustri >us
servant girl in the country.
It can fall down oftener and with
less provocation than the most expert
tumbler in the circus ring.
It caD make more geuuine fuss over
a simple bra.-s pin than its mother
wonlu over a broken back.
It can choke i'self black in the face
with greater ease than the most ac
complished wretch that was ever ex-
| edited.
It can keep a family in a constant
j turmoil from morning till night and
night till morning without once vary-
: ing its tune.
It can be relied upon to sleep peace-
, fully ail d»y when its father ia down
j town aud cry persistently all night
when he is particularly sleepy,
i It may be tbe nanghtiesr, dirtiest,
ugliest, most fretful baby iu all the
world, but you can never make its
mother believe it, aud you’d better not
tty.
Blaine's Southern Agents.
A New York IForWn special from
Atlanta, dated the6ih inst., says: For
mie lime strange rumors have been
current in political centres in the
Souih of movements which would
give an entirely new phase to the pres
ent party alignments. Prominent
Republican leaders have been visiting
each other and making trips to the
North, where they met men still high
er in party leadership.
Several months ago one of the best
known Republican leaders of this sec
tion made an alleged Western trip.
Five days later a letter was received
bya frieud,datedAugu8ta, Me., which
indicated that tbe politician had
Changed his course. The party wh
received tbe letter inadvertently al
lowed it to be seen. Said be:
“It would not do for our scheme to
be known yet, but we intend to throw
ihe Democrats by a move which will
leave them breathless. Jim Blaine is
the man who has the dash to make it
-ucce»sful. If we get it into 6hape
New York may go to the winds, for
wr will carry the general election in
spite of her.”
In vaiu was be pressed for further
explanation. He would only say,
“Wait aud \ ou will see.” It was just
after this that Mr. Sliermau made his
Southern trip, tarryiDg w ith Maboue
on his way dow n and complimenting
Governor Taylor, of Teuuessee, on his
way back. Theu, as a further prepa-
• atom for the events to come, W. D.
Kelley, the Pennsylvania Congress
man, has been spending tbe w inter iu
Alabama. He was there when Con
gress opened, and he hastened back
when Congress adjourned. Hisspeech
in Rome, Ga., oue week ago, was a
clever appeal to a Democratic audi
ence. Distinguished Republicans
went thither to bear him, and a kind
of political iove-feaat was held.
Today the correspondent of the
World had a long conversation with a
Republican of wide reoutation, who
is invited to tbe national consulta
tions. Iu th: t conversation the wboie
scheme of political manoeuvreing in
tbe South was made plain. He said:
“It has been slowly dawning upon
tbe Republican leaders that elections
can no longer he carried on sectional
issues. It is hardly possible that we
could rally tbe Irish as we did iu the
last campaign. Now the plan is to
strike for the South, Leading South
ern Republicans have taken to tbe
idea and insist that in this move lies
the salvation of the Republican party.
The whites are already divided upon
the prohibition issue. There are
Democrats in Georgia, for instance,
who despise Senator Colquitt because
he is a prohibitionist. There are oth
ers who loathe Senator Brown because
he is an anii-probibiti»uist. In Texas
you have right now an example of the
divisions which this question has
caused. Then the tariff question has
pushed its way into Southern politics.
The northern districts of Alabama,
four districts in Georgia, two districts
in Snath Carolina, and a fighting
chance for all in Tennessee and North
Carolina, are claimed by the tariff ad-
▼oeateeuuder tbewr witivf t&ipp.”
The Ministerial Candidate.
Lucy McCann* in Harper’s Magazine.!
I was traveling up the Ohio river
oue day last fall on the packet “Fai
ry.” The day was very cold. A par
ty <>f us were sitting around the stove
iu the lower cabin whilst the boat
landed at some little wayside stopping
place to take ou freight aud passen
gers.
Presently a tall, gaunt old man, ev
idently a new arrival, came up, with
bis carpet bag in baud, which he de
posited between his kuees as he sat
down aud spread out his long knotty
fingers before the door of the stove to
warm them.
Casting his keeu gray eyes around
hint as he did so, he suddenly espied
the thin, cadaverous looking young
fellow dressed ail in black broadcloth,
who was sitting uext to me in the cir
cle around the stove.
“Why, howdy, Lemmel?” the old
man said, iD tbe heartiest way.
hardly knowed yer. How’s the
folks?”
“P-pr-pr-pretty w-w-well, M-M-Mr.
J-J J-ihnson,” replied tbeyoung man.
stuttering miserably, as be admitted
to tbe hearty hand-shaking which the
■>ld man bad reached across several of
us to effect.
“Fiuished yer schoolin’ yeti” in
quired he.
“Y-y-yes, s-s-s-sir,” replied the
young man, with difficulty.
“Waal, what bizoess air ye
now?” asked the old fellow, eyeing
the dress of his young friend rather
curiously.
“I-I-I I'm st Bt-st-studying f,r the
m-m-ministry.”
•‘Phew—ee!” exclaimed the old
man, iD a long whistle of intense sur
prise. “Waal, now, Lemmel,” he
he said, after a while, “that’s ab >ui
the last line uv bizness I'd 'a ever
thought uv attemptin’ to tackle ef I’d
a heeD in yore place. What ever put
it into yore head?”
“I-I-I had a v-ve-very st-st-strong
ea-ca-cell, M-Mr. Jo-Jo-Jo Johnson,”
explained the young min, with a
slight flush on his pale weak face.
“You might’a had a dozen calls,”
returned the old man, dryly; “but ef
I'd a-been you I’d be switched ef I’d
'a come.”
An “audible smile” ran .around
the circle at the old maD’s wit,' which
he, however, never noticed. Hi-
? -oung friend made do response to his
ast suggestion, whilst be contiuued,
in a dry, anxious tone:
“It beats me, Lemmel, to know how
you ’low, even concedin’ the call, to
git through with the rest of the biz-
uess.”
“Th-th-tbe L-L-Lord win j, p put
the w-w-words into m-niy m-m-
mouth,” gasped the poor young fel
low, stuttering worse than ever under
tbe keen gray eyes of the old man.
“He’ll have to do more ’an that,
sonny,” said the old man, pityingly.
“After He puts ’em thar, blamed el
He won’t bev to send somebody else
along to pull ’em out.”
The young ministerial candidate re
tired to his state room, and was seen
no more.
Simple But Dishonest.
Memphis Avalanche.]
Oneof thesiuiplestthingsever heard
of, and which was still as neat as it
was simple, was the breach of trust of
a Philadelphia messenger. He re
ceived a package of $100,000, aDd hid it
safely away. He then went back to
the batiK which had employed him
anti told the officers that be was tired
of being poor, and that he had deter
mined louse the money they had giv
en him to carry to a certain other
bank.
At first it was thought that he was
drunk, then -razy, then j»kiug. Bnt
he simply advised tbe officers to have
him arrested, as be intended to keep
and use the money in question. The
principal he promised eventually to
return.
Tbe officers tried to persuade him,
bu* without avail. He was finally ar
rested, but his only crime was nreacb
of trust- His declared intention of
eventually returning the money made
it almost iir.po-sible to bring hi- crime
uDder tbe head of any indictable of
fense. He was finally tried for breach
of trust and came off with two years i
iu tho penitentiary. This occurred
about fifteen years ago. The perpetra
tor still lives in Philadelphia and is
•n favorable eircumstanc- s, and talks
freely about bis little escapade.
HvitW * JttiVWl* tV ISIS®
The Dead Editor.
Western Exchanged
He is gone. He sleeps that long,
last sleep from which there is no
awakening iu this life. His ears will
uever beakeu agatu to tbe musical
voice of tbe "devil” when he yells for
“copy.” No more will ibatgoodright
hand g r «-p tbe facile shears. No
more will these mellow eyes look
pleading y over the bar. No more
will those honest lips claim 1,500 cir
culation for The Tooter. He is gone.
His place iu the sanctum is vacant.
Hia place at tbe free luuch counter is
tilleu by another. The way-worn and
weary shears rust iu idleness. The
paste sours in the pot and the cock
roaches break through to devour it.
The well worn railroad pass rests in
peace. The country exchange lies in
its wrapper, (it also lies when not in
us wrapper.) The delinquent subscri
ber .receives uo nroro duus. The big
pumpkin rots iu the sactum and the
larmer who brought it gets no puff.
The Tooter is iu mourning. Its cred
itors also luuuru. Tbe column rules
are inverted. Tbe office towel is tied
ou the door. The “devil” sleeps
sweetly iu tbe corner, while the fore-
mau is on a drunk and the tramp
printer steals the rules aud the sticks
aud goes on bis way. The faithful
gallou jug sits under the table in el-
leut meditation. It is empty, showing
that iu tbe last moments the editor
never forgot his duty. The little
clock ticks on, but the editor will go
■ >n tick uever again. His sand of life
aud whiskey rau out at the same time.
A Woman’s Way.
Detroit Free Press.]
An ageut with tl r e or four r tgs in
a strap had called at a bouse on Na
tional avenue and rung tbe bell with
out arousing anybody, when a woman
called to bun trout across the street:
“No use ringing there.”
“Lady goue?”
“They are too poor to buy rugs.”
He was about to pass on, when a
chamber window was raised, and a
woman stuck her head out and said:
“I’ll show ’em whether we are or
not! I think a carpenter's wife is just
as good as a dairyman's wife, and has
just as much r oney for flue things.
Which is your best rug?”
“This one, ma’am—for $8.”
“Hang it ou the fence, where every
body can see it. Now take this $20 bill
and cull at all the houses around here
aud ask for change. You won’tgetit,
out 1 have the right amount to hand
you wlieu you. come back. If yon
uappeu to say to 'em as you go around
that this is tne first $8 rug you’ve sold
within a mile ot here I’ll give yon a
piece of pie and a glass of milk.”
Do you kuow that people like to be
humbugged ?” asked a physician of a
Philadelphia Call reporter. "It's a
tact, anu a large peicentage of the
practice of the most successful doctors
is pure humbuggery. A great maDy
people are tilled with imaginary aches
and pains. They’ve had them for
jears in their imagination, and grown
o regard them with a tenacious affec
tion. Wh n they consult a physician
about them they do not like to have
the matter poon poohed. They do not
wish to he told t here is notbiDg the
matter with tin i. They want to be
told they are sic;; to be sympathized
with, aud to he prescribed for. They
ibeb pay the fee w iluugly. Rome of
be best and most persistent patients
! have are as sound as a dollar. I
listen to a recital of their symp
toms right along, prescribe some
harmless as well as useless dose and
charge it iu tny little hill. It is to
this little diplomacy of mine that I at
tribute ujucu of my success.”
A new feature iu the sociables
in some of tbe adjoining towDB is tbe
hugging match. A man is blindfold
ed and placed iu a chair, and a wo
man is then led up to him whom he
hugs, paying litteen cents for the per
formance. At a party given recently,
a man paid hi- tiiteen cents and hug
ged the woman as long as be cared to,
but when the handkerchief was re
moved from his eyes, he discovered
that be bad been hugging his own
wife. He was the maddest man ever
seen, denounced the whole thing a
swindle, and demanded his fifteen
cents. Another one had a man palm
ed off ou him who had been rigged,
out iu female apparel, and the hugger
got mad and leu tbe party abruptly,
•re nouncing all as frauds and hum
bugs.
“I’ve struck It rich out West,” said
a passenger from Kansas City, “and
am going hack Bast to my folks and
tell ’em «bat a success I’ve made.
Let’s see, it’s now about three yean
since I went West without a dollar to
my name, and now I can swing a cool
bundred.thousaod. Thai’s pretty good,
aiu’t it?”
“Yen, good euougb. Mining?”
“No’p.”
“Cat tie?”
“Nawp.”
“Ksnsae City real estate?”
“Not any.”
“Ah! Member of Legislature?”
“No, sirree.”
“What, then?”
“Running a drug store in a red hot
prohibition town in Kansas.”
The buckwheat cake when crushed
aud battered it sure to rise again.
.W. :• ... - ■ .
s :
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