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V I / fierald and Advertiser. NEWNAM, FRIDAY, JAN. 22. W H K N . IN 1) E K D ! Wh**n bedbugs in hotelH are fare*. And tmlpol. H run uwallow live* v-hales; Wbun sailors forget how to BWear, And rabbitB arc outrun by dead snailr,. When billy butt from the- rear. Anil crocodiles flemt in the air: When Dutchmen won’t drink lager beer. And terrapin* grow curly hair. When chicken feathers grow upon hogs. And hickory trern thrive without bark; When Thomas cats travel like frogs. And (leas cart be caught in the dark. halcyon tlayH, when the primeval for ests teemed with trnme, and the tierce ; turkey cock assaulted the hunter, like | the sweet singer of Israel who smote the braggart of Gath, he did fine execu tion on this biped who wears his mus tache on his breast. Of his prowess as a turkey hunter I may descant at greater length in a future article, : when I have obtained from his own j lips the story of his life and adven tures. I have it from an intimate friend of Mr. Russell [that every time 1 he sent one of those he maleagridoids ing feature about our gopher;—he is never sent tne a seed. If this “illus- not bald-headed and hawk-nosed like | trious Georgian” will send me the seed The Constitution’s old gopher. The go pher, so the story goes, was brought up from South Georgia by Mrs. Brad ley, who has just returned from that section. and the Congressional Record I’ll write him a speech on “Federal Abuses in Our Insular I'osessions.” —We are looking for the advent of the millennium. Our folks are just too wi»- At Wli. Vii Aim! u Kill elers quit idling lies. use loving line show: , won’t oat pumpkin pie on’t smile itt her beau. When the mocking bird brays like the ass. And the bullfrog sings Mke the lark: When battleships are made of thin glass, And "society” welcomes the “stork.” When the ’possum grows hair on his tail, An«l the polecat smells like cologne; When Jonah again -'wallows the whale. And the heart of all Dixians are stone. Then our Pred lent-elect, hurdled out of the West, With hi duplicate chin and bis half-acre of vest. Will at Uin the gn end of his Presidential finest. attended the Cooper-Wilson nuptials. Miss Cooper, be it remembered, was the popular guest of the Boykin family last winter. —Complimentary to her charming to turkey heaven he clipped this mus- Kuest Mrg _ Roy BasH _ of Mexin> Te} -., Our Carrollton Correspondent —Col. Bob Lowry, the famous Atlan ta tallyhoist, has no longer a monopo ly on this equestrian perambulator. The old man hns made good in his day. The scepter is departing from Judah, llis seventy winters, while sitting as lightly as may he, are heavy enough to make him relax his grasp on the reins. The younger fry must drive. The la test acquisition to this town’s rolling j stock is Bernard Bass’ tallyho. Tlint it is a tangerine, you’ve only to see to make u similar pronouncement. As an introductory excursion to the coming summer campaign, Mr. Bass, our local “Beau Brummel,” (and an all-round good fell low,) gave the following young ladies and gentlemen a day’s outing in the thriving suburb of Whitesburg: Misses Pauline and Lucy Harris, Nell Sharpe, and Messrs. Have Reese and Jesse Travis. What they lacked of having a good time isn’t worth men tioning. He dispenses his bounties like a prince. lion. 1.. C. Mandeville dined with the A. and M. pupils Wednesday, lie encouraged a spelling bee at the school, which will he pulled oil" in the near future. To the pupil who does tache from his bosom, and by this means saved enough to fringe a dozen counterpanes. When 1 began this ar^ tide it was not my purpose to mention turkeys in connection with Mr. Russell, hut to tell you of a cyclone that called on him a few years ago. Here is the ! story as he told it to me: “It was | about milking time in the afternoon. The milk maid, an African mammy of i TO, was down in the meadow milking ' my Jerseys. As she sat milking a cow and giving the calf an occasional rap on the shins to keep his nose out of the hunch of udders, io! that frolicksome ambulator of wind and clouds known as a cyclone came cavorting athwart the timber, and sans ceremony swooped down and took milkmaid and the whole hunch of heifers into its gyrating vor tex. As mammy and her heifer were being translated into the upper murky atmosphere, she clung to the cow’s teats like a logger-head turtle to a nigger’s toe. Around and around the giddy circle thev swung. The milk maid, in the shufllc, was first on the cow’s belly and then on her hack. By some unaccountable means she bestrid- ed the cow’s hack and seized her horns as a dirigible steering gear. The fierce, gyratory motion of the cyclone only served to make her cling the tighter to the cow-catcher. About this time the procession was passing a hundred feet above my house. I saw the cows and woman playing leap-frog with each other in the most reckless manner. For a fat, bunchy old woman she rode her cow like an abridged centaur. Though j dazed with fear and apprehension for | the safety of my family, could not re- i frain from cheering the old wuman’s Wild West show stunts. Finally the | cyclone relaxed its grasp on its passen gers, throwing some of them in Buford | Sharp’s backyard and the remainder in his cabbage orchard, except Mrs. John cow, who were given —Tuesday Dr. and Mrs. B. F. Boy- good to run on at the devil-catching kin returned from Senoia, where they pace we have been making for a couple of thousand years. Why. bless your thirsty, hungry soul, your money won’t buy what you want on Sunday. If it would, and the minions of the law knew it, they’d fling the man who sold you your money’s worth into the Chateau D’lf. Let your wings sprout Mrs. B. F. Bass entertained a number of friends at a sprightly domino party Monday forenoon. An elegant salad course was served after the play. Mrs. B. F. Bass is a charming entertainer— a fact acquiesced in by her numerous friends and callers. —Mrs. H. B. Lane, who was serious- and grow to a body-conveying length; we are too good even for the millennial period. Generalship of a Cat. Rochester (N. Y.) Cat Journal. The mastery of herself which a cat shows when, having been caught in a iy hurt some weeks ago by a moving j position from which there is no escape, train at Tallapoosa, we are pleased t° I she Ca lmly sits down to face out the note was able to be brought home Tues- threats of a dog, is a marvelous thing. not lull till the last round he oilers $10 gold-piece, and the next to the last | (Jilpin and he $f> in gold. That’s the kind of encour-! n, e aea t of honor, astraddle of the agement that counts. j comb, of his residence. By a strange —Joe Gaston, one of Carroll's old freak ot fortune, when the cow lit on Confederate veterans, died Tuesday, I the comb her feet on the right side after a lingering illness, llis funeral went to one side of the roof, and those was largely attended by his former comrades-in-arms. The services were held ut the Methodist church and a beautiful tribute was paid him by his pastor. It was disclosed from the min ister’s remarks that he was one of Gen. Forest’s escort; and many is the time he followed his intrepid leader in his charges upon superior numbers of the enemy. His' remains were interred on the left to the other, leaving cow and rider in perfect perpendicularity and equipoise. There they sat, immov able as a weather vane in u calm, until removed by a hastily improvised der rick. Though a little belated, the cows returned to the meadow, and, as usual, each yielded her four gallons of rich, creamy milk.” Mr. Russell’s affidavit, as to the authenticity of the foregoing here. The pall-bearers were the fol-I statement, is now on file in this office lowing Confederate veterans: l)r. 11. It. Robinson, (’apt. C. W. Worley, J. (’. Russell, W. O. Perry, Bet Sharpe and C. M. Speer. —Lum Williams, a Henry county friend, was here Thursday. He thinks the metropolis of the Free State one of the host towns north of the equator. —Mr. Thos. Jones, of Whitesburg, was in the city Tuesday. lie lo. central! Give me George Burnett’s residence. Is that you. George? They tell me you’ve got a new baby. A lino one, eh? Girl or boy? Boy? When did he give you the surprise party? Monday? Hope in a few days he’ll be able to split stove- wood and churn. Hamrick keeps cat nip. Aurevoir! ‘‘It was not so in our grandmoth er’s day.” Married folks didn’t think | of dodging the God-given command, “Multiply and replenish the earth.” We observe many married people who j are running race suicide at high pres- i sure. One of these days, if things go on as they are drifting, the sun will : rise on a manless world. Then good dollars wonTt buy drinks. I desire to express my thanks to . Mr. F. A. Weems for courtesies shown ! me at the K. P. festival during the holidays. —1 did not attend the Taft 'possum supper, for a baker’s dozen of good and sufficient reasons. First, because they forgot to forward my invitation. I’ll give you the other twelve some time when my disappointment settles —Jan. 19 all the banks were closed in observance of Lee’s birthday. “Great man; the nations gazed, won dered much and praised,” and his ow.i people set his name in the calendar of heroes and honor his memory by mak ing his natal day one of honorable fes tivity. —Mr. and Mrs. Chas. L. Walker had as their guest Mrs. J. E. Skrine, of Macon, mother of Mrs. Walker. Mr. D. L. Cannon, of Atlanta, was in the city Thursday. —The Atlanta Constitution has for years held a monopoly on the gopher market of the South, but from recent developments it is likely to find a sharp competitor in Mr. M. M. Bradley of day. She was accompanied by her mother, Mrs. H. B. Morrow, who re turned to Tallapoosa the following day. —It was that poor, infinitesmal of War, Cambonne. who defied the allied armies of Europe, while they were masacreing his comrades on Waterloo’s bloodstained plain. They thundered and vollied with infantry and artillery on his devoted ranks until the pile of dead outnumbered the living. When finally summoned to surrender, he defi antly shouted to the victors, "Merde!” Cambonne was grand. But here are we, who boast of liberty in a land made free from the oppression of crowned despots by the blood of patriots, who permit ourselves corralled “like dumb driven cattle,” and are forbidden, un der penalties, to open a drug store on Sunday for the sale of such things as we need. This is a despotism more galling than being bossed by three wives! What we want is more liberty and less lashing. Vale, wine cup, schooner, candlecup! All hail despot ism, the gallies and slavery ! -Mrs. S. P. Coalson, that charming hostess who so well knows how to make one feel at home, entertained at spend-the-night seance Saturday night. Those honored as guests were Mademoiselle Pearl and Clyde Camp bell and Ethel Carroll. —Will Fitts left Sunday for Missis sippi, where he goes to accept a situa tion. If the chills, fever and the sharp-billed mosquito do not prove too many for his constitution, he is likely to grow up with the country. — After a week or ten-days’ illness, we are pleased to note the recovery of Mrs. Sidney Holderness. —The chitterling season is on ; the succulent hogfat is soused ; the supe rior and inferior maxillary of Dom Porcelian are seething in the pot of turnip greens, and Will Gaston and Mrs. W. B. Garrity came down Sunday to get their per centage of these “niig- gets.” —It is scarcely worth while to enumerate the gross of virtues that Allen Bedingfield has laid away on cold storage. But when it is made to appear that he is constantly going to Atlanta, (at least twice a year,) then one begins to cast about for reasons. It is known that these primary virtues embarrass his reputation like the horns of a snail. He is a prohi; he is a mar ried man of the Joseph type; he is in nocent of the “pasteboards”—in fact, he does not know cards from spades. He eschews cotton futures as the bu bonic plague. Then what is it that is constantly tearing him from the bosom of his Carrollton friends? Mike Flynn has thrown some light on the subject. He says Mr. Bedingfield has made a spiritual alliance with the Catholic church. Perhaps he goes to get drink of holy water, and have Father Gunn rub off his sins. His conduct is right pestering, hut it is to he hoped the fulness of time will make plain his ways that now seem dark. Everybody has seen a kitten on a street doorstep, attacked by a dog ten times her size, as apparently self-pos sessed as if she were in her mistress’ lap. If she turn tail and runs down the street she is lost; the dog will have a sure advantage of her. Even as it is, if he could get up courage enough to seize her on the spot, he would be able to make short work of her. “You dare not touch me, and you know it!” is what her position tells the dog. But she is intensely on her guard, in spite of the air of perfect content. Her legs, concealed under her fur, are ready for a spring. Her claws are un sheathed. Her eyes never move an in stant from the dog as he bounds wildly from side to side, barking with comical fury. Those glittering eys of hers fol low him with the keenest scrutiny. If he plucks up his courage she is ready ; she will sell her life dearly. She is watching her chance, and she does not miss it. The dog tries Fabian tactics, and withdraws a few feet, settling down and upon his forepaws. Just then the sound of a dog’s bark in the next street attracts his eyes and ears for a mo ment and when he looks back the kit ten is gone ! He looks down the street and starts wildly in that direction, and reaches a high board fence just as a cat’s tail—a monstrous tail for such a ltitle cat—is vanishing over the top of it. He is beaten. The cat showed not only more courage than he had, but a great deal more generalship. When Rubbers Become Necessary. And your shoes pinch, Allen’s Foot- Ease, a powder to be shaken into the shoes, is just the thing to use. Try it for breaking in new shoes. Sold every where, 25c. Sample free. Address, Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y. Don’t accept any substitute. 1 this place, who has added to his aviary j -He who has lived to this day in this sweet singer from the South. Both Carroll and does not know Mose Rus- of our local papers are anxious to pro sell, has lived to little purpose. Mose duee him hand me-down clothes, af- is a conservative narrator of facts, and I ter the manner of The Constitution’s his figures are always correct. In the gopher pictures. There is one redeem- Baking Powder ^/Ibsohutely Turc The Only Baking Powder made from Reval Grape Cream of Tartar —Made from Grapes— A Guarantee of Pure, Healthful, Delicious Food — Unfortunately for us, I have physiophical or literary court to settle mooted questions that arise among the masses. At this juncture our folks are wrestling with a series of questions which are more or less difficult of solu tion. We draw the line, however, on “How Old Was Ann?” As a kind of organized system of referees we appeal to our several clubs and societies to unravel these little Gordian knots, to wit: The Lit Mu, the Domino Club the Willing Workers, the Commercial Club, Board of Trade, the Water and Light Commission and the City Coun cil. 1st. What is a six-months’-old swine —a pig or hog? 2d. When drawing a cart, does the animal push or pull? 3d. When does a phial become a bottle? 4th, Who deserves most credit—Colum bus for discovering America, or Wash ington for driving John Bull out ot it? 5th. Which of these worthies de serves to be Sweet Mary’s man—Mr. Traekwell, Mr. Divewell or Mr. Cure- well? Mary was lost. Mr. Traekwell followed her footprints to the river’s brink; Mr. Divewell dived for and res cued her from a watery pallet; Mr. Curewell, by his manipulations, re stored her to consciousness. Let the people speak and give their opinions. —It is a known fact that I am the best vegetable-raising artist in my dig- gins, yet Senator Clay and his co worker in Washington iniquity have Lloyd George*was addressing a meet ing in Wales, and his chairman said: “I haff to introduce you to the members of the Carnarvon Broughs. He hass come here to reply to what the Bishop of St. Asaph said the other night about Welsh Disestablishment. in my opinion, gentlemen, the Bishop of St. Asaph is one of the biggist liars in creashon but he hass his match in Lloyd George 1” We Sell YtHbl on the positive guarantee that if it does not give sat isfaction we will return the entire amount of money paid us for it. We ask all those who are run-down, nervous, debili tated, aged or weak, and every person suffering from stubborn colds, hanging-on coughs, bronchitis or incipi ent consumption to try Vinol with this understanding. HOLT & CATES CO.. Newnan. Ga. Atlanta and West Point RAILROAD COMPANY ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE OF TRAINS AT NEWNAN.GA. No. 34 No. *42 No. 144 No. 38 No. 40. No. 17. No. 41 No. 37 No. N . 6:45 a. m. . 7:3ft a. m. . 9:03 a. m. .10:40 a. m. . 3:2ft p. m. 6:40 p. m. . 5:32 p.m. 6:4ft a. in. . 8:27 a. in. . 9:33 a. in. 12 :2S p. m. . 5 :12 p. m. 7 :i0 p. m. 6 :23 p. m. 10:40 p. m. +Sunday only. ‘Daily except Sun day. All other trains daily. Odd numbers, southbound: even num bers. northbound. For _ Lameness in Horses Much of the chronic lameness in horses is due to neglect. See that your horse is not allowed to go lame. Keep Sloan s Liniment on hand and apply at the first signs of stiffness. It’s wonderfully penetrating—goes right to the spot—relieves the soreness — limbers up the joints and makes the muscles elastic and pliant. Sloan’s Liniment will kill a spavin, curb or splint, reduce wind puffs and swol len joints, and is a sure and speedy remedy for fistula, sweeney, founder and thrush. Price, 5 0C> anc l $i.oo. Dr. Earl S. Sloan, - - Boston, Mass. Sloan’s book on horses, cattle, sheep anti poultry sent free. No Land So Rich That Fertilizer Cannot Make It Better You use fertilizers for the profit you get out of them—and the better the land the more profitably a good fertilizer can be used on it. Do not imagine because land will produce a fair crop without Virginia-Carolina Fertilizers that these fertilizers cannot be profitably used on it, or that they were made only for land too poor to produce without them. If poor land will show a normal increase when fertilizer is used, good land will show at least double the increase. Use Virginia-Carqlina Fertilizers to increase the quality, as well as the quantity of the crop and you will increase the profits from your land. “I have been using your fertilizers for a number of years” says Mr William Frairer, of Glasburg, La.fundfind that it not only pays to fertilise, but to do plenty of it, and use the best fertilisers to be had, such as your brands. I have used a number of them and found them to be as recommended and to give better results than any other fertilizers that I have ever used.” Every planter and farmer should have a copy of the new 1009 Virginia-Carolina Farmers’ Year-Book. Get a free copy from your fertilizer dealer, or write our nearest sales office. Virginia-Carolina Chemical Co. Sates Offices Salcs °$“ s Vi' a ’ Charleston. S.C. Columbia, s. c. Baltimore, Md. Memphis h ,’Tenn. Shreveport, La. H. C. Arnall Merchandise Company Below will be found a few articles we keep in stock at all times, at lowest prices. Finck’s Detroit Overalls. “White Hickory” Wagons. "White Star” Buggies. Nox-All Hats. Gotham Hats. "Kant-Be-Beat” Clothing. Chattanooga Plows. "Arnall’s Cotton Bloom” Tobacco. “Square and Honest” Tobacco. "Full Bloom" Tobacco. Majestic Flour. "White Satin” Flour. "Full Bloom” Flour. Texas Rust-Proof Oats. We now have the agency for the celebrated Chatta nooga Plows, heretofore sold by the Bradlev-Banks Co. H. C. Arnall Merchandise Company R. D. COLE MANUFACIIR1N0 CO. ESTABLISHED 1854. Building material of every description, moderately priced. Engines, Boilers. Corn Mills and Saw Mills. Tanks, Stand-pipes, Towers and Tanks—any shape, any capacity, for any purpose, erected anywhere. Full and complete stock Mill Supplies and Belting. Estimates cheerfully furnished. Inquiries solicited, and will receive immediate attention. R. D.Cole ManufacturingCo 49-57 E. Broad St., Newnan, Ga. ’Phone 14. CENTRAL OF GEORGIA RAILWAY CO. CURRENT SCHEDULES. ARRIVE FROM Griffin 11:10 A.M. 7:17 P. m. Chattanooga 1:40 p. M. Cedartown, ex. Sun 6:39 A.M. Cedartown, Sun.on!y7:27 A. M. Columbus 9:05 A.M. 6:3.5 p.m. DEHART FOR Griffin 1:40 P.M. Griffin, ex. Sunday 6:39 a.m. Griffin, Sunday only 7:27 A. si. Chattanooga 11 :l0 A. m. Cedartown 7:17 p.m. i Columbus 7:40 A.M. 5:15 p. M