Newspaper Page Text
VOL. I.
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At the Tick of the Clock.
Every Has minute, every minute
the whole of living lu it.
Some oni's crying,
Some one’s born.
Some one’s dying,
Old and worn.
Some one’s laughing,
Soma one’s fed.
Some one’s chaffing,
home one’s dead.
Some one’s hearing
Love confessed.
Some one’s olio's jeering
Some jest.
Some one's sorry.
Some one’s glad.
Some one's worry
Drives him mad.
Eve.v minute, every mfnuro
Has the whole of living in it.
—Tom Hull, in Truth.
A Lassie's Way.
0, down in the meadow the air was sweet
With a breath ot blooming clover.
Tho blue-eyed gra-«3(H were kissing her fee.
And an azure sky bent over;
Ilut -Mary's heart had a burden of woe,
A human she sought to cover
With a smilo and song, lest the world shoulc 1
know
She ha l lovod and lost, her lover.
Each daisy was nodding her snowy head,
And a zephyr stirred th« grasses;
Sir bobo.ink. i-aueily laughing, said:
'Tis ever the way with lassies.
They think that a quarrel when once begun
Can bo as easily ended;
But laddies are lost, us laddies are won,
Sometimes when 'tis least intended."
But down through the meadow young Arthur
came
And the laughing skies bent over;
Tim zephyrs whispered a maiden’s mime
And a tremor stirred the clover.
Though he spoke no word, yet he kissed her
brow
In bobolink spite of the ch ding grasses. her
And whistled: “Just see now,
“ 'Tis ever the way with lassies.”
—The Peterson Magazine.
The True Patriot.
The msn who lays his life upon the shrine
Of Liberty, responding to the call
Of Freedom, bidding him surrender all;
Obeys tin impulse strung go subtly lino
It is less human than it is divine.
But he whose purpose, every wish and
thought.
Is for his country's progress, wea! and
Who power,
gives his youth, his manhood’s per¬
fect flower;
The good of throbbing multit udes has sought;
A giauder, higher destiny, has wrought.
The violor’s death is easier than to know
You live a martyr'* life for some grand
Building cause, just, righteous
the temple of
For ingrates laws,
to revile and overthrow.
The laurels of a patriot's best renown
Are plucked by Freedom from a martyr’s
crown.
—Emma P. Seabury, in Home Magazine.
The End of It All.
The proud man, fat with the fat of tho land,
Dozod back iu of his silken chair;
Choice wines the world, black men to
command, and
Rare curios—rich rare—
Tali knights in armor on either hand—
Yet trouble was in the air.
The proud man dreamed of his younger
days, when
He toiled light-hearted and sang all day;
He dreamed again of Ills gold and of men
Grown Old in his service and hungry and
gray. tightened time; and
Then his two hands a
then
They tightened, and tightened to stay.
Ah me! this drunkenness worse than wine!
This grasping with greedy hold! I opine,
Why, the poorest man upon earth,
Is the man who has nothing but gold.
How better the tove of man divine,
With God’s love mitnifoid.
They came to the dead mau back ill his
chair, the
Dusk liveried servants that come with
light;
His eyes stood open with a frightened slnre;
But bis hands still tightened as a vice is
tight.
They opened his hands—nothing was there,
nothing but bits of night.
—Adelaide Chronicle.
“Until the Day Break.”
A human soul went forth Death’s into the night,
Shutting behind it mysterious
door, resistless
And shaking off with strange,
might
The dust that once it wore.
So swift its flight, so suddenly it sped—
As when by skilful band a Dow is Dent
The arrow flies—those watching round the
bed
Marked not the wav it went.
Heavy with grief, their aching, tear-dimmed
eyes shadow fall, and knew not
Saw but the
when.
Or in wflat fair or unfamiliar guise,
It left the world of men.
It broke from Sickness, that with iron bands
Had bound it fast for many a grievous
day; itself with its restraining hands
And Love
Might not Its course delay.
Space could not hold It back with fettering
bars, and ceased at last to
Time lost its power,
be; beyond boundary of the stars,
It swept the
And touched Eternity. lit.
Out irom the house of mourning faintly
It passed upon Its journey all alone;
So far not even Thought could follow it
Into those realms unknown.
Through the clear silence of the moonless
dark. the road It trod.
Leaving no footprint of
Straight as an arrow cleaving to its mark,
The Soul went home to God.
“Alas!” they cried, "he never saw the morn,
But fell asleep outwearied with the strife”—
Rav, rather, he arose and met the Dawn
’ Of Everlasting Life.
—Christian Burke, in Fall Mall Magazine.
Murra ... ■; .
. ti . mm y _ |pPr * C/3
f
SPRING PLACE, GA., FRIDAY, APRIL a, 1897.
Ti-ie PIolly=Sprig Spoon.
BIM winter, when it
fell at Osceola, fell
with amplitude. If
_ you stood on the
z tapper ^ bridge—a
high, open bridge—
■°o you saw the canal
* < stretohing far
u p
and down, a level
trenoh of snow, its whiteness em¬
phasized here and there by a
patch of brown earth showing
from some underwash in the
banks. In one corner of the
mill pond on the morrow, if the mor¬
row chanced to be a Sunday, in a pool
relieved of ice for the ocoasion and
hedged about by a throng of specta¬
tors, there would be a baptism of tho
latest converts of the winter revivals.
In milder seasons the prevailing
form of social entertainment was even¬
ing teas, but now there was apt to be
» round of rather statelv dinner
parties. The ladies came in carefully
treasured black silk gowns, of the
richest and stillest material, with wide
collars of white lace, and lace-edged
white lawn underscores. The men
wore coats of black broadcloth, no less
carefully kept and no less excellent in
quality, and high, stiff collars,swathed
in black silk or satin neckerchiefs.
The dinner, cooki d mainly by the
hostess’s own hands, was served in two
courses, but out of its abundance
might easily have furnished forth
twelve or fifteen of the daintiness
which courses acquire when they are
made a particular point of.
The company came to table for
these dinners with a certain hesitation
and awkwardness, and for a little
while after the.v were seated conver¬
sation lagged. First there fell a sharp,
expectant silence until the minister,
if present, as lie usually was, had in¬
voked a blessing. Then, as the host
took carving knife and fork in hand
and rose from his chair with a certain
confidence, every eye and all attention
fixed intently on him, and remained
60 fixed.
It was almost doing violence to cus¬
tom when, at a dinner by Mrs, Hamlin
Wampler, Mrs. Luther Gears began, in
the very height or the caTving, to tell
a story of the loss of a spoon. She
told it iu a plaintive tone; how, after
a dinner given by herself ten days
before, to substantially tho present
company, when she came to collect
her silver, with a view to washing and
putting it away with her own hand (as
her careful custom was), she found a
spoon missing—one of her holly-sprig
spoon*.
Nobody attended mucb, for Wamp¬
ler was really doing a very neat job.
At the conclusion of Airs. Gears’s reci¬
tal two or three ladies murmured a
perfunctory “that was too bad,” and
Dr. Dudley asked in his blunt way,
“What is a holly-sprig spoon?” But
he gave no outward sign of listening
to Mrs. Gears’s explanation that holly
sprig was the design, and that the loss
was especially grievous because it oc¬
casioned the first break in a sot given
her at her marriage by her mother,
who had Drought it at an early day
out from New Jersey, sewn up for
safety in Jier petticoat, a gift to her
at her marriage from her own mother,
Mrs, Gears’s grandmother, and to the
latter previously at her marriage from
her mother, Mrs. Gears’s great-grand¬
mother, for whom it had been ex¬
pressly made by a London silversmith ;
the only set of its design ever seen or
heard of. At the words “grand¬
mother” and “great-grandmother” the
dootor’s head nodded slightly, but his
eye, like all other eyes at the table,
even Mrs. Gears’s, -was on Wampler’s
knife.
Wampler shaved away the last bit
of breast and raised his instrument for
tho master stroke through tbe flank.
The guests dipped forward a little
further. The knife descended, pierced
—then Btopped abruptly. Wampler’s
face grew red. Mrs. Wampler’s grew
red, too, out of sympathy.
“You must have struck a tough tur¬
key, mother,” said he.
“It’s a young turkey," protested
Mrs. Wampler, “and it seemed very
tender wheal was dressing it.”
“Then you didn’t cook it enough,"
urged Wampler.
“I had it in the oven four hours,"
said Airs. Wampler.
The otheT ladies averred that if your
oven was right four hours was long
enough.
By pushing and sawing like an ama¬
teur with a dull blade, Wampler finally
cut through, and sought to retrieve
himself by a special dexterity on the
other side. But again the knife, after
entering keenly, came to a sudden halt,
and had to be driven on by main force.
Wampler finally wrenched off the
breast bone and resumed his chair.
In the course of this office Wampler
thrust a large spoon deep into the
mound of stuffing. There came a me¬
tallic click which everybody distinctly
heard and again fixed eyes on the host.
Then, on bringing np the spoon, he
turned up with the handle of another,
a smaller one, which everybody saw.
Since there could be no concealment,
Wampler sought escape from the mis¬
adventure by jocularity, and saying:
“Well, well, you must have run short
of bread crumbs for your stuffing,”
drew forth the spoon and held it up
in full view.
“it’s my spoon,” cried Mrs. Gears,
fairly shrieking, “the one I lost—my
holly-sprig;" and she stretched out
her hand as if to recover it, it need be,
by force. mice,” said
“At any rate it’s not
Mrs. Wampler.
“Oh, it’s mine, it’s mine I I should
know it anywhere," persisted Mrs.
Gears excitedly, and Wampler handed
the spoon ovor to her.
“It must be yours," said Mrs. Wam¬
pler. “I remember the design, and
it’s not like any of mine. I never saw
it, unless at your house, until this
moment, and the turkey I dressed and
put into the oven with mv own hands.”
The other guests commented a little
on the singularity of the incident, and
ventured to make a joke or two upon
it, then dropped it from the talk and
were studious not to recur to it. One
and all departed, however, with it
still sufficiently in mind, and more
than made themselves amends ulti¬
mately for any self-denial they may
have suffered regarding it in the pres¬
ence of their host and Hostess. Very
soon the whole town knew the story,
and Mrs. Gears’s holly-sprig spoon be¬
came celebrated.
The next time Mrs. Gears and Mr.
and Mrs. Wampler met they barely
knew each other; and the next time
after that they knew each other not at
all. Then it became impossible to in¬
vite them into the same companies,
and through the circle of their com¬
mon acquaintance there began to steal,
like a line of spilt oil across a Boor, a
separation out of sympathy. By the
time the separation became fully de¬
fined, Mrs. Gears’s umbrage Rt the
Wamplers had come to positive
grounds. She did not scruple to
think and to freely say: “We have no
direct proof; but it’s very singular
that the spoon should be found in
their possession, and they never of¬
fered any explanation.”
The difference grew into an open
feud. Finally it was carried into the
church. A document was laid before
tbe session urging it to summon Mr.
and Mrs. Wampler to an explanation.
Their conduct, the document set forth,
in thus far refusing an explanation,
was neither brotherly nor Christian;
it savored, if not of guilt, at least of
self-righteousness and pride, and in
either case they were amenable to the
session. There was prolonged ifrgu
ment in the session, and some plain
speaking and strong feeling. At the
vote the iay members divided even y,
and it devolved on the pastor,the Rev.
Cornelius Holt, to decide. He was a
man of rare humility, but of a steady
sense of justice and an obstinacy iu
following it that no amount of ag¬
gression could outwear. He decided
against tbe petition and in favor of
the Wamplers.
Thero was moisture in his eyes and
a half sob in his voice as ho concluded
with “Let ns pray," and in the prayer
ho offered a briof, fervent prayer for
gentle counsels and confiding beans.
He was checked several times by his
emotion. The other members of the
session were deeply touched, and re¬
paired to their homes with pure and
exalted feelings and with a mind re¬
solved, every man of them, to do his
utmost to keep the congregation in
harmony.
But, unfortunately, the congrega¬
tion had not come under the spell of
the pastoFs moving judgment and
prayer, and divisions of suoh magni¬
tude ensued that the laymen of the
session forgot their good resolutions,
and the session itself became a seat of
war. Mr. Holt had served in his pres¬
ent pastorate ten years. Ten years’
service in no office lessens the number
of a man’s critics, unless he be a man
of supreme talent; and that Mr. Holt
was not. From his installation there
had been in the congregation a dissat¬
isfied minority, and it had grown,
with the passage of time, more num¬
erous and more outspoken. It now
found, in his vote against having the
Wamplers before the session, what,
unconsciously, it had long been wait¬
ing for—a point of union and onset.
The pastor’s friends, however, were in
main stanch, and open opposition only
intensified their ardor. The session
divided again about evenly; but the
opponents of the pastor were the more
cunning faction, and finally persuaded
two of his supporters to di»regard per¬
sonal prolerence and join them in vot¬
ing a request to Mr. Holt for his resig¬
nation.
With his session thus become prac¬
tically unanimous against him, and a
good third of the congregation fiercely
urging the session on, the minister
would gladly have yielded up seemed his
charge and fled. But this, it
to him, wduld be moral weakness, a
clear violation of his duty to the larger
fraction who devoutly besought him
to stay. So he refused to comply wit’*
the session’s request. Appeals fol¬
lowed to higher bodies, and a tedious,
complex, exhausting contest, ending
in defeat for the opposing minority,
which thereupon withdrew from the
church in a body and organized a new
society. this the of what is
And is origin
since known in Osceola as the New
church, the church which in reoent
years has been so marvellously blessed.
But it had a hard struggle in the be¬
ginning. It began to prosper only
after the Bev. Air. Holliwell took
charge. He is a natural pulpit orator,
a man thoroughly abreast with the
times. He began by prefacing his ser-
monfl with a familiar talk on current
topics, and every three mouths h.
preached a sermon exclusively forme vi.
and another exclusively for women
nml one for tbe young people, and 1>
these and other novelties lie soi
awakened an iuterest which has co
tinued, until now the Now ohuro
oongregatiou is much the largest an
wealthiest in tlia town. Then Andrew
Jarhoe, a rioh old haohelor farmer
died and left the ohnroh $10,00(1, an
that was a great help to it. In. Ii'»
Andrew had not been a notable sup
porter of churches, hut Mr. Holt bar
once rebuked him sharply for failin
to supply a due weight of butter, and
it is supposed that this had somewlm
to do with determining his surprising
bequest to the New church.
Mr. Holt, after the New church be¬
gan to come up so conspicuously, suf¬
fered a certatn deolino in the regard
of his congregation. The member'
were still free in expressions of devo
tion to him; but it beoamo evident
that iu their feelings they had a little
cooled, and Mr. Holt finally sought
another charge.
There was a woman known as Gypsy
Ann; keen-eyed, dishevelled, shrill
voiced, half-mad creature, held, as
her name betokened, in a certain mu
pioion and fear, and often a word in
the mouths of inert mothers to intim¬
idate wilful children. She dwelt alone
in a remote, ramshackle cabin, living
mainly on charity, but earning ft little
money now and then by helping in the
rough work of the kitchens. She had
always some special patrons.
They changed, however, from time
to time, for in her moods she was apt
to quarrel with her benefactor. Among
tbe most devoted of them had once
been Mrs. Wampler and Mrs. Gears;
but on some fancied provocation both
were abruptly dismissed from had her re
g«rd, as a number of others beeu
dismissed and neither had had aught
to do with her for many years. Of all
her dislikes the bitterest hitherto had,
been of the churches. At the name of
any particularly honored member, her
wont was to cry out, with a wild ges¬
ture: “My hand’s a lily beside his
black heart.” When, therefore, word
went abroad that Gypsy Ami had pre¬
sented herself at the “mourner’s
bench,” Osceola quivered with interest
through all its members. The high
and the low, the full-robed and the
ragged were alike excited; aDd at the
next meeting the swift runners after
senantions thronged the church.
The object and hope of these in¬
truders were o the vaguest, but the
entertainment they sought they found.
In the confidence that a new life ha 1
begun for her, Ann seized the occa¬
sion to renounce her past, item by
item, in the presence of tbe congrega¬
tion. The renunciation lacked some¬
what of the humility that usually
characterizes snob per.orraances; but
aside from this, it proceeded quite
prosaically, and would have yielded no
particular lelish to the curious, but
that toward the end she disclosed—
altogether incidentally and as a mat¬
ter of no more importance than any
other she had touched upon—that she
was the demon behind the mystery of
the holly-sprig spoon. A distinct mur¬
mur passed through the house as Ann
related how, in revenge for an injury
which she thought had been done her
by Mrs. Gears, she stole tbe spoon,
and then in revenge of another which
she thought had been done her by
Mrs. Warn >ler, “tucked it away," as
she said, in Mrs. Wampler’s turkey.
“And I mind me to this day," said she,
“what a temper I had—-the oven was
so hot, Mrs. Wampler gone from the
kitchen only for a minute, and the
spoon such on unhandy shape. But,
somehow, Satan let me succeed—as he
always lets us, if only we tried hard
enough—and little I thoughtof all the
trouble it would make! But, maybe
it’s done some good, too. On account
of it, ye might say, there’s two
churches now where there was only
one before. So perhaps it’ll be some
wise forgiven me.”
The ice in the millpond was thicker
last winter than it hid been for years,
but it cracked again and again under
the weight of the crowd that, gathered
the next Sunday to see Gypsy Ann
baptized.—New York Sun.
Liability of Cyclists.
Wheelmen will be interested in a
decision recently given by one of the
district courts of Michigan. It was
held in the decree that a person riding
a bioycle down a narrow path at the
rate of five or six miles an hour, when
it is occupied by many other persons
going in thp same direction, is liable
for negligence if he runs into a pedes¬
trian when bis wheel strikes an ob¬
stacle; at least, if it does not appear
that he was unable to see and avoid it
by the exercise of due care. Su-'h an
accident casts upon him the burdeB
of disproving his negligence.
The Oldest Tree in the World.
In the royal gardens at Kew there
is a branch of what is said to be the
oldest tree in the world—the famous
dragon tree (Dracaena draco) of Ora
tavu. This tree, which was destroyed
by a great gale some years ago, was,
the new weekly paper, the Rocket,
Bays, supposed to be at least 2000 or
3000 years old—some assigned it a
much longer growth. A branch was
removed irom it ami brought to Hew,
where it still thrives; it may be seen
in tbe Economic house.—Westminster
Gazette.
WORDS OF WISDOM,
The way to get a better position is
to more than fill yonr present one.
It takes a higher degree of courage
co be laughed at than to be shot at.
The mnu who rides a hobby thinks
nobody else is making any headway.
The man who knows himself well
will know a good deal about other
men.
To sneer at religion is to make it
that much harder for somebody to bo
good.
A jury of ravens would not bo long
in declaring that a linnet could not
sing.
When self-righteousness gets up in
the night to pray nobody else cati
sleep.
The degree of every man’s manhood
is determined by how much ho says no
to himself.
It takes backbone to take any kind
of a stand that will leave a mnu stand
ing alone.
Religion is in a bad way where no¬
body is being persecuted for right¬
eousness’s sake.
Love is dead when the husband be¬
gins to grudge the money it takes to
Bupport his wife.
More of that kind of religion is
needed that will make a man do right
every day in the week.
A much better thing for the church
than star preaching is good wholesome
personal influence.—Ham’s Horn.
Pussy’s Dinner Flew Away.
The Fort Worth (Texas) correspon¬
dent of the Philadelphia Times writes:
We had some pretty cold weather in
this part of the world last week, and
one of the best blizzard stories turned
ioose by the low temperature is that
in which a eat and a lot of English
sparrows played conspicuous parts.
The cat, Chico, a big, brindle fel¬
low, belongs to F. Y. Elliott, of this
county, who is himself authority for
the story.
Elliott says that on Monday morning
of last week, when the snow was al¬
ready pretty thick and still falling,
Ohico came into the kitchen looking
mighty well fed, and bringing an ap¬
parently dead sparrow iu his mouth.
The cat had evidently made a pretty
meal, hut had an eye to future con¬
tingencies, so he deposited the bird m
an overturned basket in tbe corner
and went out. Presently he came in
agoin with another bird, deposited it
in tbe basket and went out, to reap¬
pear still again, loaded as before. In
fact, those crips kept np till ten or a
dozen sparrows had been placed in the
basket, and then Chico curled up
under tho stove to take a snooze.
The kitchen is a pretty comfortable
one and bv-and-by th'ugs began to get
kind of lively in the basket, as tbe
beat got iu its little work of restoring
to life the half-frozen birds. First one
then anotbei of tho sparrows turned
heels under, stretched his stiffened
legs, spread his wings and came to.
Presently the whole catch were up and
out, fluttering about the room, perch¬
ing ou the shelves, helping themselves
to crumbs and feeding quite at home
generally. Indeed, they waxed gay,
and set up suoh a chirping that they
awakened Chico from his snooze, and
when the big fellow acobed his back,
stretched himself and made for the
basket, thinking to refresh the inner
cat with a toothsome sparrow, such a
look of astonishment depicted itself
on his features as was never seen. But
the birds were bv- no means slow to
take in the situation.
At Chico’s first move they began to
make themselves scarce, and befoYe
he recovered from his astonishment
the lost oue had flown, trusting rather
the ills they knew not than a catas¬
trophe they wot of. But if ever a cat
was fooled, Chico was. He stayed by
the basket all day, and refused to he
comforted because tbe birds WSrfe nor,
there. No doubt the next, time he
finds a good thing he’ll hold on to it,
and let the “rainy day” look out for
itself.
Force ot Gravity Varies,
The variations in the force of grav¬
ity have beeu studied by Herr Kel
mert, a Prussian physicist, from ob¬
servations at twenty-two stations
along a line from Kolberg to tbe
Schneekoppe. The results show that
an abnormal increase in the gravity
can be traced to the presence of dense
rock masses below the surface, and an
abnormal decrease to the substitution,
of lighter materials. Certain assump¬
tions make it possible to estimate the
thickness of these subterranean strata.
On the Pomeranian lake plateau a
layer about 230 yards thick gives
increased intensity, while near tho
Schneekoppe a decrease where the
surface density is not lower is probably
due to subterranean layers more than
200 yards thick. The disturbing ele¬
ments are probably not deeper than
twenty or twenty-five miles.—Trenton
(N. J.) American.
Peter’s Strange Vehicle.
Peter O’Shaughnessy, a prospector
of Anaconda, Montana, while at work
in Sheep Gulch last Monday, started
a landslide at au elevation of 4000
feet.. With rare presence of miud
O’Shaughnessy sat a-tride of his shovel
and, with the exception of a few
bruises, rode safely to the bottom.—
Salt Lake Tribune.
iNO. H.
EASY ALL!
"Easy alt!" rings out tbe order.
And the muscles cease to strain,
Ami the awin'? of oars in rowlocks
Stops its rhythmical refrain,
4nd the sin king heart beats freely,
And the spent breath comes again..
i
“Easy ail!’’ Oh, joyous mandate
To the si Higglers on life’s flood,
Be it but a passing respite,
For the brain and strength and blootJi
Though far distant i-e the guerdon,
Fame or Wealth or livelihood.
tVhen the summer sunshine brightens
Grimy street and sullen wall.
From the strips of azure heaven
Seems to come the laud y enll:
“Rest a while, ye weary toilers,
Drop your oars, ant easy all!"
—Pall Mall Gazette.
PITH AND POINT.
Air. Singer—“Will you accompany
me, this evening?” Aliss Bloomer—
“Bioycle or piano?”
“There’s no place like home,” said
the voung woman in gray, “and that’s
flat.”—Boston Transcript.
Alendleant (to benevolent oil lady
who has given him a pennv)-—“Quite ma’am?”—
sure you can spare this,
Tit-Bits.
She—“Have you read ‘A Hundred
Years to Come?’ ” He-“No. What
is it about; a mes^euger boy?”—In¬
dianapolis Journal.
A Serious Omission—“I was swin
died on this new dictionary.”
“How?” “It hasn’t any index."—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Either Way-Fiat Hunter—“Is this
a spore room or a closet?" Agent—
“It depends, madam, on bow many
yon have in your family.”—Puck.
Auntie—“You say you had a bad
cold? Did you ever hear of a good
cold?” Johnny—“I had one once
that kept me home from school.
Puck.
Mr. Beechwood — “Young Point
Breeze has wheels in his head.” Mr.
Homewood—- “They are of the ’97
model, too.” — Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Air. Hurley (savagely)—“That What’s con¬
founded baby is always crying.
wrong with him?" Mrs. Snrley
(sweetly) —“He’s got your temper,
love."—Tit-Bits.
“I am very sorry, monsieur, but I
cannot consider your proposal. I
Bhall never marry.” “Never marry?
But, mademoiseilei what do you for¬ in¬
tend to do with your immense
tune?”-Tit-Bits.
“Those sandwiches remind me of
my native town,” said an Amerioan to
the girl at the railway restaurant.
“Deadham?” asked the girl at the
counter. “No; Needham.”—Answers.
Newlywed (proudly) — “I always
make it a point to tell my wife every¬
thing that happens.” Old Sport—
“Pooh! That’s nothing, I tell my
wife lots of things that never happen.”
—Tit-Bits.
“Your coffee never seems to lose
its strength,” said Mr. Starr, “Do
you know why that is?” asked Mrs.
Weirdhash, beamingly. “Because, I
suppose, it has never been strained.”
—New York Journal.
Cholly—“My dear fellow, I do wish
you’d lend me that ten 1 asked for.
It’s a case of life or death." Tom—
“How can that be?” Cholly—"Why,
I’ve got to pay five of it to Algy, or
mv credit will bo ’killed!”—Harper’s
Bazar.
A country minister, talking to an
old lady about his son who had emi¬
grated, was very pathetio over the
dangers of the deep. “Hoots, minis¬
ter,” quoth Janet, “ye needna haver
sae muekle aboot it, it'll nao be sae
awfu’ deep; it’s been an unco’ dry
year.”—Tit-Bits.
“That,” said the waiter to the lone¬
ly man who was taking his dinner at a
cheap restaurant, “that is real gen
nine country-bred mutton, sir.”
“Yes,” returned the guest, thought¬
fully, "it’s even what you might call
died-in-the-wool. ”—Cincinnati Corn
mereial TribnnB.
Self-Propelling Fire Engine.
A gigantic self-propelling Fire fire De¬ en¬
gine, built for the Boston
partment, was given a successful test.
It can travel ten miles an hour oa the
level aud ciitnb any hill in that city.
Its dimensions are: Height over all,
10 feet; length over all, 18 feet 6
inches; width over all, 7 feet 3 inches;
weight, equipped for service, 17,000
pounds; capacity, gallons per min¬
ute, 1350. Through fifty feet of lead¬
ing hose 3} inches in diameter,
horizontal streams, Id-inch nozzle, it
threw 348 feet; 1-f-mch nozzle, 388
feet; 2-inch nozzle, 319} feet.
Setting a Horse’s Broken Jaw.
A Susquehanna County (Pennsyl¬
vania) veterinary recently permrmed
an operation ou a horse that is said to
be the first of its kind in the history
of veterinary surgery, The animal’s
lower jaw had been broken by a kick,
and in order io reduce the fracture it
was necessary to encase its jaw in
pliable copper, in whieu condition it
will have to remain for about four
weeks, during which time the animal
will be fed with a spoon on gruel,
milk and eggs.—New York Press,