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Humor and Philosophy
By DUNCAN M SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Sometimes our friends seem to work
overtime to -my mean things to us, but
maybe we have It coining to us.
We should not lie afraid to try to do
right. Most of us do not succeed
enough to hurt, anywny.
We all have
W our share of
V trouble and uu
__
■; doubtedly are de¬
fy \ cently resigned,
y but what some
of 1,3 object to
is li a v i n g t he
share of our
friends too.
Is iH easier for some people to work
a good thing to a finish than It Is to
put a good finish to their work.
There are knockers enough abroad
In the land to bent any amount of good
material Into shape, so be game.
As a general rule wo are conceited
only over those things that we can’!
do and those qualities of which we
possess little.
Being of two minds Is an unfortunate
condition, as neither of them is apt to.
amount to a hill of beans.
Unless a woman has faith in her
husband’s judgment she may be In;
peached for disloyalty to herself.
Thd mad rush for wealth Is to be
censured principally because in so
many cases It is so signally unsuccess
fui.
There are people who manage to get
a front seat at everything worth
while and still impress tho average
person as being modest, retiring and
tiie opposite of self assertive and seif
seeking.
The Annual Problem.
Adjust your thinking cap with care
And got right down to eases
And tr>’ your level best to be
At onca in scvciiilyplaces.
Pill every pocket with long green.
For time, alas. Is flying.
The Christmas present day Is near,
And you must do some buying.
No use to idly stand around
I And troubles ended,
wish your
For duty, like a fish wife, calls.
The case must be attended.
Go to it like a hero, here
And there a dollar dropping.
Gird up your loins and do a Job
OC fine and frenzied shopping.
Keep up your courage, let your heart
Beat stout beneath your Jacket,
Dip In and be,a part if not /
The main noise In tho racket.
Buy anything—a set of blocks, a
A watch or pigs In clover,
A grand piano or a doll -
And have your troubles over.
It’s easy if you have tho cash
Alu! know the ropes, dear brother.
8o do your part. Don’t leave it all
To Sister Kate .and mother.
Hand fourteen dollars to the clerk
And end at once your worry.
Say: "Wrap up gifts to that amount.
Make haste. I'm In a hurry.”
OH MIC ♦ JONES ? Something of a
Pte ash ctrt Tripper.
VOU« THIS PfifiT V^Y OUT] j
OF ~ “Great dnnee f
-- 15 —
just had.”
“I thought you
,<■ said you could
I Ky
V trip the light fan
o tastie.
k “Didn't you see
liter
‘“Yes, but I only
fee* saw you tripping
the ladies.”
All Looked Alike.
“We tire going to have a high old
time tonight.”
“What's the occasion?”
“Celebration of the king's birthday."
“What king?"
“Blamed if 1 know.”
Wondered.
Tho oyster never says a word.
Nor does it slug tra-ln.
Said wondering little Willie. “Are
There lady oysters, pa?"
Christmas Suggestions.
Purchase for the lady next door a
whole pound of butter and a package
of tea. She may take the hint.
If yon happen to see the earth lying
around on one of the bargain counters
it would make a lovely present for
your husband.
Don't buy anything you cannot hope
to pay for unless you find a particular¬
ly complacent storekeeper.
Buy your wife n handsome pair of
winter trousers. You know, she al¬
ways did like to see you well dressed.
Don’t buy n drum for your enemy's
boy. A foghorn makes more noise
and is not so easily broken.
Don't get excited. The stores are
open the night before until midnight
Bored.
'Some men know it all.”
"I don’t mind that"
“Don’t yon?”
“No. It Is when they want to make
me know it all that I kick.”
One Line Slow.
“Is business picking up any?”
"Yes. in some lines. But they are
not ordering as many water wagons as
usual for those states that have gone
prohibition.”
MOUNTAIN V.
Htiwai. . $n si | : Cirapiy of
0:.w.-: ' V. E’cT A , 'XenSfys'
Y\':t . l* ■•! l no menus tin
only atiU tiew Indulged in by
the boy,; ol ;",v: A i;i climb¬
ing is a favo lie partis;;-, for there
pealtn4.000 f, ::t hi;-A; v. 1 '.si easy walk¬
ing distance "of an 1 pert of Honolulu,
and on the Island o ?; !i there are
two sue A. i 0 fort in
height KM X.'i’V r ill j Honolulu
sehooi;; give plenh oj: she
sides that the t .; githor land
shell;., n : - i ; : ■: *: . ur.tlor*! In
scareii of in ha ti ;t tha Hawaiian
schoolboys r. 1 i>. if ome national
Sport, niot'uVai!: wii.ii:-,...
A very . > i: r i. side Is se¬
lected. wiiw.! the i; long and
sloping da award. MW.;: ■ one gathers
bis own ti -leaves. T : ti leaf is s -:.te
thing ill--* tiaMmntiha !<• t but not nc >.r
!y ft> lor.-r. Yv'itU a b..’: t; fti ti leaves
fri ! ; !,•:::I the fir tens to the
edge of tho side, gra . the loaves by
the t;ictus la both in... places the
leafy pari under' i i >Ki sits down,
give:; iii -elf a mart f,i 1 drcfl»s down
{.ho edge of the scenery lido a flash. 1
was .•.-.k.siirrd that it w :;n eany mat
ter to r< gukite the i :d of descent by
merely gr.n phtg i' " t! sta-ms tiruily
and lifting th -m upwiu-' ; acting -is
s br-i-c. : )v -:.-’d B r f ,: hi of drop
plltg ilo.--’l over fit* of n ttioun
tain a.. I upon :-J.V im f ■ of tl leaves
began ti, - (ha cert, 1 at like the
win.!. It • 1 : I f . .di my breath
.
woniti be Pdr'ii ■' f. uo or that
I v.m .h! ;1; ;<! over hells, tf) be
dashed to id -c *s am the trees be
low. i f Byi.: d. of in; i"fi.k« ftndpirew
np I „ tho ti i: m .-: v. i .- my might
capie up wiUi « : that jarred
bone i,i my body There I sat,
lo'P.b.g d.. vvit>va •! ai.:.'. yi perpendicu¬
lar:;,, U. Pi in pad Pan , : by n few
leave:: ro. Big on Sue n:-:r Uu siij.pery
grass, but the ul dipt p: :u<8 X non -ly a
fool long, unit it is only after it - has
beou ivsieaic.ily Bidden over and beat¬
en down that it upp o... ivx perfection
In the eye:; of the iiac.diau amall boy
nr! aoiucUuics ic. - to acci.. -ats.
When, for in;- ta 11 • thin layer of ti
leave-; wc.ii-s out '•■/■■■: ..sub the slide a
gentle tug nftho staik:;-part* the sled
and sobUh the dider wlPwing down
ward in a must ti...hie and un
graceful itianner. .ill i-..;;in and logs.
Lncf y is the vif-P’-i of •/: -h a n> acci dent
If he is not vi-yy 1 P M*. downward
em-ecr by the Ur.id: of. a tree.—St'
Nichols a.
SCARED THE HD BEERS,
1
Odd Incident In ; In the Eight¬
eenth Century;
For n time dsrlHK tin* eighteenth cen¬
tury in l.iav.uuJ there was u lull in
the roi-bwy inluatry owing to nn odd
incident. Shortly after the cxmiiUon
of an Bngiiiiit bh. i . am-d BBiston
a eufunsvAytimiu:!’. porp rting
to have Been vni eu by him was put
iii to ;n tii.uioii. “Now, an 1 atn a dy
fas niauv it nut, “I : ., e done some
thB’g whit-U may bo vf goad ute to the
pUti'le. I‘ have left ivith hn hottest
mm. the only in e-;f i.-. ui 1 wn; ever
itcqu ill’.ted with- . ho of nil my
•,vi. hod bi’oi.it’eu, the places of (heir
abode, with n short nccouut Of the
chief |rimes they hrv,> eotnmltted. In
<n ; ,y of which I have tu-cn the Accom¬
pli- e ■ "'d hoard the : frym their
qwu mouth;;, 1 h - likewise set
do’,. • the no ■!••.! <il' i • we call our
scBt rs, of tlie h "; o v - frequent n ad
nil of thor.e who receive ami buy our
Ktoieu yoods. i have v .letonly eUnt’god
this honest mau ;..id ! :'- e m-elveti his
promise op :i oath too: whenever lie
bears of uoy ivguo to bo lilt'd ft>r rob¬
bery or housebreaking he will look into
his lint and if be find:; there the name
of the thief cot; or- . .. to sen;; the
whole paper to the government. Of
this I here give my companion:! fair
and public warning ho.! hope the; will
take it.” It is said ;he hint was so
effectual that for a long time pick¬
pockets and bur A.-irs in that part of
Fngluud went ittto r -,aie turicken re¬
tire;!! rut. And. thi:! !g so. it is just
as well it bey did net know that the let¬
ter was .clever for:,ary, the work of
that prince of vi o:d Iniovorists.
Dean Swift.—Mew York Tribune.
Climatic Chmv;,--.
1 :-.ere i- pk-al.' of evidence of the
vc •;>" be- i : u i v, hi A :: . ■; to prove that
no.’ only Europe and North America,
hr.i the Jahds rUmiied within the arc¬
tic circle, mast hat - v-.i a tropical
climate. The nur.u- . a- fossil remains
found in tliiise re:.,. are those of
plat;;..! and an' a . . w'n a, according
to the p s;.- :e of our knowledge,
must have lived wak-r Co idilions now
found qnly in the eeuamria! belt. Noth¬
ing is clearer iff-:’ ::v fact that the
polar cold is :A.- ;dU:;r - i the
tempera > and tropivtil 7.<>ues and that
eventually tlu* land ivil! be all ice
fluids.
Deo;Id Knew.
Mar.iiict. «g< I i - was a beginner
(n his; or; a" she asked.
“what decs ‘behead 1 ; ..-.r.i?’’
“To eta oAA a mail's Lead, dear."
There was a laa . . of silent study,
then another eye >a
-What. Toes To A ," van, mamma?”
Tattle Donald. ; : i four. Was inter¬
ested.
“T know, ' :a.” was his logical
coKt-hisieit. " " ' noans to cut a
man’s feet off.”--IVh'.-.rafor.
Very Diffrrertt.
“in the olden d*o a reformer was
n a > ; -
“Yes. and now vc ; jt cr on the
lectisrs ;r.i 0 per
cent of tea ft : - ST.: king
ton Star.
------
c and i-.o ore not the
a::,. . . . v eal; well aw
two things.—Beu Jouscn
THE MURRAY .JSEWS, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1909,
tiz:m r:j ^.na.
The.se Ft hr!«3 . From Two Bn*
tirdy Di. '..I'it Animal,.
“The oil' :■ ;• ■ ■ i. - rd a •e.iif'e of
men arguing abo . in: ai,- and alpaca,
one of them y.vy'y ;r. efling that
they were 'different natiitw for the same
fabric," Said ;t Mew York Importer.
“The a . ion Mil very far but of
the way, The v: A know ,t as alpaca,
if genuine, lo/ncr; frotn U».- wool of the
animal m the *^in»e t ime, which
thrives only in tie? Andoa-a regipns
of Peru at; A lt| Sn-iib America.
The alpaca, or pueo. v» hieh resembles
the llama, looks it good t nl like our
domestic sUi-cp a- ! lias a most beauti¬
ful fleece, teat lk«ks of them browse
on the highest t tuges of the Andes
and are the t*o;- -A:y of the native In¬
dians, tbo shf ■ them once a year.
Many effort:, lun • toon made to bftteil
the alpaca in fii ' rent parts of Eu¬
rope and Austin’in.* but without, sue
ecus. .V A -m v . brought to
-'Baitimor.-. ivr-c (it in the middle of
the last out the c.tperiment of
raising It::; in Pie United States was
likewise a f.-.ilr,
“The cloth known a- mohair comes
from the rgor- gout, a very different
animal fro i 1 A alpaca; The ng'ora
i:; found in fiOVi i Afri w. but the lar¬
gest dock:' : re ft ,:->l In A At Minor.”—
Exchange
PARIS i: 1 LONDON.
Contrasts In B ■ do and Manners In
tho Two . sat Ccpitr.is,
In the niracts reach tratfle all goes
to the right; I i-.,n t-oaeitnicn drive
always to.tho f ■. l’ari-.iians live to
g'Btlicr in i.i-ge . aisen ikie barracks;
Loudonc--.’:: have ‘ ::e family in a house.
The Londoner has u j#.u>hkey, the
Frenchnwu a cout.-lorge.
Paris has its ca’es, Lp'udea its clubs.
Parisian .lx ! a c: - tip in an alc-ovo In
the wall; Lcitdonera sleep in tho mid¬
dle of (.lie room - ml m in nil e three
or four nr mi:".! a da , i riuiinm two.
Paris di:I.ondca c.i: ■: Paris
loaves are bur. "-Bondi ..u loavv.-i are
square. Paris c; iul;.--; wine, ix-ndon
beer. Paris tat.' . coffee, London tea.
Frenchmen wlviUrditting talk to their
j neighbor Diiv. and cay ;,, ainr.-e v:;.-ii at other’s t-tle sad so
y ly; s
don't say unteb. let cn./-y th- ir (o< d.,
London work jn tlicircrdi
uarv cloUn •-, • •• i < iseft ot l-.or “. ate,’’
smoke dry pip ■ and pum-b cadi oth
ei's heads t ea: naily; Parisian Work¬
men do their l.v -luess in blouses, call
their felend-i "clt'wn"’ or "sir,” smoke
cigarettes, take V ir hats off to each
other and do thdr- lighting with their
feet.—'i ‘-I’ll v
Dcfectiv# Eduestion.
Ait old dark.-, in Alabama called
itcroKB the fenivv to tol.-t neigrhitor’a sou,
v, ho Is ti KiudeaS" at tho Atlanta uni
vcrslty, caja a writer in the I’Miartel
phla Bedgor.
•'Look : if, boy,” -he said, “you goes
to sciiopi, don’t i ert"
“Yes, Kir,'’ rep-ii t the boy.
“Gettin:: vdu. ;uion, ain’t yer?”
“Y'es, sir. 1 ' »
“Banda.: 't-ls' tic an’ li; .-ring on
u slute, eh 5”
“Yes. air."
“Well, it dot;’ Ink two whole days
ter mak - !-■. r, bo it?"
“Why, cf'd ibe i.ioy.
“Waul, .aid i he old r ,ti. “you was
going tor brill..' that hat diet back lu
an hour, wasn't yer? An’ hit's been
two Whole dr senep you horrered.
alt
“What's the use of yo’ ediu-atlou et
you go ter school q whole year an’den
can't toil how I: sg hit lakes tor fetch
hack dat hatci <■! V”
African Natives’ f>um Signals.
411 through : - continent of Africa
the native' ha-o a very perfect system
of signaling drums, by which
means they rap out messages from vil
logo to vih:t;';>. ; ml it Be quite wonder¬
ful how swift!*.' and how fur they are
able to spread news.
The drum'; c is always done at
night, wlicn so -! i travels farther, mid
as ou a t, -'ii a stid, dear
night t’-.e oar b oftm gently assailed
by the low, n Iqil roll from a drum
in the vill; ge and one waits with
pleasant cx|ie.. -.-y ill! t'-e answering
echo coni; . j - led by d. : -fam ,-, from
a village rora; ;i vs two miles away.—
Wide World i : - r.isiae.
Bohemia.
Bohoi ■ : ;. Youth i every¬
where. it in ;, a: ttled on the north and
east by the bar:, -a diver: of middle age
and on - Ac vo A and .'.art by Am steep
and imp:-. r-nUe nouainias of success
The true A Aj. •• ;. i is drunk on nothing:
but am Amu; id.'als, and. though
these leave no B udaeAa, they frenuent
ly leave au era dtiiss cf the stomach.
The true he’ic a Ir - appetite the
morning ai':er. . : to ere is often no
breakfast.—Sy A. y 1 tin.
Pub'i Opirticn.
Public V-'A. will-o’-the-wisp.
It is he c . .n;e ton orrow.
•Public e;A A AA 1 the t Arist, and
the cent:: -A ; A.- - - r 'entned ir for its
act. Ever A; A,; time tho public
has b: an : . !■-- ■ 'era. committing
crimes, f- • u: 'ey tA.o 1? riAeacc pf its
own naw' every ;!:ae .and coun
try.—Bustt a Ii . 1.!.
Ca. ' ir ?s Cc:t;e.
“Has that ' sea-in-law of yours
any berk:, ...
“Yes," : Mv. 1 Acms. “I
; must sa; 1 . Are bis Aver A-'ht and
j sagacity. lie ; • refused- to
j take ; aiu-a n : rt ’ "..k.tg hint
n A - ; 'A' ' 'hlvrt.-:; Star.
1 A eyrie says that tho jaws of death
i have tro terror for An::: be only fears
i the jaws of iff. lie is married.—
Sporting Times.
I
Humor c.vi Philosophy
a. --- »
Ey DUtXAN K. SJ'ITS
THE CAPITAL !.
Hast met In yout travel#
The capital J.
Attached to a poraon
In ampla Etrntly,
Who talked C Ilia prowess
On rea end on land
At any old moment
A victim would stand?
It’s I was a this, sir, *'•
And I wax a "that; ,
It’a I'caught a tiger *
Or I killed a cat; i
It's I led the army
Or 1 chased the fleet;
It’s I every moment.
And I with both leet.
Alone, single handed. «
He runs the uaradc.
Has thrilling advefitures
At band. 1 ■ • ” mads.
The spbUigl-.t .attraction. *
The or.e ce n bet.
Admired of the la,lies.
Their pride and their pet
It’s 1 swam the river,
And 1 won the reco;
It’s I ltv-ci v n bully,
And l u-t the info;
It’s I was ti e hero,
Retirin;,' w d
It’s J, the v at, only
And wondi: ful 1.
Dome .’.ic
"Cf r.~/a BRlDC AFTER] £ T-o
1 SAY , O M UNO
XT SA TUPJ0AY
~CZ AfH E-AA -
r.Tc
"T
«=s )
\ a m
..v ft ;'%
A ~-wm
tj US
m #
Childs _
“A wfnl the way is acting.
“What is he doing no-,v?” j
‘Book at him. He fttai-n wt > gsn*
ger ales in rapid succestdon. •
“He in .hurt i '!>■: to go' up nerve
enough So disehaiyc the ct’Ok.”
PAy 'Tis.
"Queer.”
“Whtlt'a “Vi’e qtU'efV"
are told that the love of money
is the root of e\ il.” j
“Nothhig ip: • about that.” j
“But I was .last thinking”— !
’“Now, that in :: : r.”
“That the love of evil in the root of ;
n lot of money.” j j
Superfluous.
“Going tg take the course In era¬
tory?”
“Xo, I think m
“Woul n’t it c< me useflti to you?”
“I liar 'iy see li.nv. I r expect j
to make m;> iiv:; vefUng fish.”
I
P'.aT “AHAGRAFHt j
Some urea t;;’ - sre ii a prida iti their 1
meekness that i v-r are p-. itivelj it. Com- j
ineerin.LT in t^eir cancel about
r «£onf ri«v.F>v_ 1
1 Yd en a man
PACE --yOiaW 'i> '*j pets a swelled
.
head just leave
his fate, t
1 he - igvithjg a !
jB remedy wetter that or !l‘er will ’
9*. accept the invi
I & tatlciu
j handsome
A
muu i-ai't so par¬
tial to Beautiful
women. Bn fa; t.
he would rather i .
tester have a • woman
not particularly
\ noticeable for '
'o her looks, desir¬ j
X ing a c-or.ier on ’
cd> the adtairadoB I
mar Hot,
/
There is lots of eotumon sense lying
around looi. e ar.-J. nnemple-;:ecl. but it is
so unattractive Umt many people besi
tate about usinir It.
!
When truth is stretched until it snaps '
and flies back the recoil is sometimes
on settl ing. j
j
Some people 1 j
I j watch and pray; i’V j
others watch L? . Ch. :
1 and prey—when \'J , J 1 i ! -
copper cm the £
man A homely Is dead wo¬ MW : :
wise to the al¬
leged fact that
beauty aud ivj m I
brains are never 0 i
■
found occupying
the same crani¬ .
um.
An octopus is a savage and frightful i
monster\hat a great many people have
t strange yearnings to become. ;
The man who has push and a pull In
; addition must be as contrary ns a gov
; eminent mule if he doesn't get oa. J
i :
Bonrier's Famous Advertisement.
When the New York Ledger .was
wavering on the brink of failnre Rob
ert Bo:. . -r, the pro! rietor.’iwnt to the
New Y< vk Herald- a brief a;
ment. to tie Net u;* t-< a single line.
So On e.VeaqUl* '".ns Mr. b-olturV
bundv :;. dig that the at’ver:!.-; -„r man¬
ager in: ;'!«■< ti'(l tin* ilirwih> am or
deriug the c*.;i> be ir in full
page, whb h itntfr.-.i-thiiii* ir- • . eyed.
though i”. I’iitlg git : T’. • Herald
came o',: tb? next mcrttiBg w ith one
whole page ilevotv! so Che < . !sp c«l
Ioration to read Ledgap's new
story, ‘"he .effect up- Mr. i.nnnei’
wns a!mi, a fatal, f .in: < ;rlt» at
the (hough: of fir pc ,-ihle ill. then
from si' a.i-im pt ; iisi-ri' os be¬
gan to pour in air.! lie ally • y -i wit
Isfiietli :i ns they ’ i:: i::i d -i»> flood
the of,iruntil th<* fot-Tune of lb” pub
lif.-iti in was _i::ad”. Ti,* u ‘.f hough
neeidehl.-I devf:-i> bad s-.ru-'k 'a- prli
!k-'s fan* v Mr. V,. v w t; i oil
the pious*'i <if a Y v nad re,:'::; the¬
ory of evplruati.::;. and the ::-iv -rti-c
nifat o-afnM s'Uwprif-y by tieiag
commetr.’-l -■ yon i ;• feature • the
lit-ws.- foili.w's.
Trurry tiny Arc;:;' Carr.-,:;-. ' ’ -r.-.’:.
Tile most nulah! • : .: m Umh
e.nlnjrg is t' • i--.’: ;;m. wtii i
Is! .who visits t!>c i
!• is i,f a bicst i . C! )1
fasti.,g cf om ,
dating ’ :v !: to th: ^ • cfy ■ thlr
teeuti; firy. sviali iui cef ;fe re
nfilssrm-e f'cade j?:m; ::1 Its
diirkii fP df tik-.f it:,-*. :r --a' the
bistro:' cf Is :;.v :ft t he
at No: -ml-
w:w a . •• r r <
{irhonc!-: 'rile c f - ( .
high .-a.’*’ re tower; --■!(< ... , V. . » ..
ntpi.la. where tie . ; ;{ i,',',
of. Sr. jr! shr'ilcw. -<■ ,,, . . - ..... '' p ■"
within «:s p:c : ■ 1■
armed tviih mucy; Is a- il mm
sir! ms. ’m-e-v;-t Iv.her.tn
chora' - is v-'yc-nei :ini ::/■ .as Hr
music:..; ■ a.:-., *<■::-. f or
...... pomt^ <;f tbe eoirj . vrsw. vn A , T!j:» „, cere
nv»iu\ ., j*... f «.
oh? li? - life of" the town. V. cm
the vlsiti.r’H unfcmaUMde -runrigs
of Itoth -r-lmrg.—m-nhuig (Bavarb-ji
Better to Vogue. j
He Was Srpcrsiiiitu:-.
He idg. r;y vr d. -guic n, i
w :s a , : j
arid v.d on a rp.-re, :fi: i liKie eu- S
timed ilw> uM* (! :,:ul sat t
upon him tie said in r,q !y (•> ; d.e little
man’. 1 ayclrr h>s: |
“lien’r tr< ni-’i*. it’s t-ii right.
There's ^-V, J \ :
vt ,. itm a week j ;
j-iter v, .* ir,-re .«:• at : . * chauae i
|« t y ,,,, shrunk to
,. ,
—yw v.' -lYevei’V the master?’’ we
. d
“Yon remember ’’. "t Utile man wet
sat on'me Bj the train last week, sir?’’
.“Yes."
"Well, it's all through ’Bn I’m wastlu’
a wav like , |
“I i ; verve us;” vre cried, “now? i
W" r i
’i he '-uriken Wrung !.:•? tuttufs
In iff* v
“1 1: r,:;d out re..: <’ .y.” Be groaned,
“that was the w : .- r. An V sat or
reel I’m sltttpenui:-Mus. an* it’s lookin'
ahead ! am. t) Ber'l” London Mail.
The First r..rices Stn.r
The ‘tibieb | p -t. 4 ! • - < .
lSBl. t,ie tirut st,-:: p ever • 1 t
distiri. Jy nttpopHiPt ami f' Vo <•’ tee
t” a ted one aft; : il year; OXiSi
Great Bril till) was the l.r-i ..uintry
lit tin' wur’d to ive posta-tc sin tups.
:; rd ’ u* - Br.ci,-, - -■ , v'.i , -■ f : .r
V^rU i] m I:: -* r <! iDv. t a ■
^ ta ; ho r.*ii f than 5i uf c:;:;
benefit. •'’Ht'ive you tried lit- statajm
yet?” wrote one >f them to id- si.-avr
the y<*,:r IN-lv ”1 rhhil: rtey are
f !,IK ''' ’Y ^T- m.iking ^ my ' uiouflt Ub ‘7" ; ; uc 1 (let. ^ til
titmigh, to la- sure, yep have the satis¬
faction r kissing tt:e hack <>* bar grn
clous t:i:ljs-.-ty the <;tleen , P As. Ben
ever, ! should say, the grca-cst insult
il-- p.v-si-nt ministry cou'd have of
fered the queen [.oiidoii i U.’s
Weekly
I Fields and Crrffsrds cf France.--
i-’n : Avl;.,!.:: m i.v. m. :A- rail
rvru: .. s a n h , . r
frn.lt trees covered with !■:«- ad
ihc, f • -t; assuming tin ::- robes
g ref* ii. making , . ■; [ueUtre .
beautiful look i-r-iin ,, Lyons , - *
io ; >:u to j
Parts tin- orchard*, the vineyards at,.; 1
the growing gni’.ii delight the eye o; | |
the traw’-T from oriental de-.-rts am:
mu;: <1 i;im of Macaulay's
Now lot iiere c*o fie merry s*mn<ri of
IV. us. and of da rice
Th?- -hv frvoan oft.d Funny
vinos, oh. pleasant land -of r’rance!
For truly it is a pleasant land.—Paris
Be; u-»- to Denrer Post.
Considarsticn.
“Y-- ;i say you once had a home?"
"Dal's what i had.” answered i’tod
ding Pete.
“Why didn't yon do s; ething to
make your folks comfortable and j
hajipy?" j j
did. 1 left." - Washing:."! Star
|
l.i A.ccord With the Weather.
Mrs Passe (to her matdi-Ho-w is the j
wc.uht’r Today. Marie? Maid— Fresh
and \v:::dy. madant Mrs. Pa; se—Very
well: ;-oa veil! please put a healthy
flush on thy cheeks this moruiug. i
am going out.—New York Life.
He Told Her.
“Ted me frankly, sir. what do yov :
think f my dana’iter's voice?” i
"Well, madam. ! think she tray have j
i? r in- T », future in water color paint
injr."-Pi- ris Figaro. -
it's when a fellow thinks he .is <n:r
of sight : hat lie feels all eyes are tipot
hi\n.—Piltsimrg Gazette. :
Curious Habits of Spiders.
The water spicier ctirries itfr down
with it .jvtieu it uive-.s. 1)" >!(,•( <«>k
saw one remain f* ri. f>\ -■ n.btli- i fi
(ler the Witter. i .< Avaiet* ajab'-r
bull.'.* a'neat under the water uriaehrrt
to tile Ntfilt «if Mill.II* ftH'.at- I!!! i .1 tint
Bbape of a diving ueti. v.-ltli tin <i|iei:
downward, it tilhs tStr- bed w!iu
air by 'tr. kilts flow;- a bubble at time,
Coming to the surface, .it >::rt
air IrAiBh* under in I».id> and lusiant
i.v <: 1 a Cettiug t; r she iiVsL
tbr bw is allowed to eo-iiie into it.
rl'l - ’SS tr.iRi the
: •• of ah’. T; !:!>■!' then
*a.v 5 •»4 there. iTTf*: rail .:: rt in
cci'.!, and .eaves them t > r-itV"a> this
Ui;dtpMvator palace, .spl
h-.g f:-es. \Vlien water^l';ey !.u*Nf. v.r.i.v rjiidbrs
are ppti under |oo;; like
li:tie littils of sinning silver. LiE’.le
babble• of air seem so cling among she’
b-.-h • of tlicit’ bodies. < .spiders like
Rise•!.< 1'l‘eatbe the i*t little In >*»
aioi.”.: t!;• whole !ei r "'i of the b'-iy.
-
they cun easily niiike tiee of these b';b
b ! es f nlr for brea: dug.— Loudon
Sthlrdard.
Drinking Cups of th:, Anciet:!s.
kiiver cups made by such famous
workman jin Myron. M.v; - awl Men* r
were preferred to gold cups. They
were very beautifully engraved and <>t
v. irkmanaMji which lias never been
( if<i. 'When gold cups were enrich¬
ed wilii precious stones they some¬
time* became peer* of ihe engraved
silver vessels. Of all si;o , shapes and
designs were these drinking cups, and
their value was measured more by.
their form and design than the m:i!e
ivif of tv ich they were mad;*. Same
had hardies, *-ni,v : and
".vn some o;;e
t-.-me nnw* a! all They were large a . t
e;; }i w ittid ifm, . , r. row :ind .
i { ! ' ; ’. They were pure ’ Hie prealuct of
r " V:,r - vill « ,st tl>:U
« ’ *}'■' " ! '’ unifurin
I'?’. I he early bnrm an -rr Ricna'.rs
,:i '>' !: b '' water fromt-rps us wo now
^ " nd
iU.r tJii'i-tibwQ to toeitu Coffee oriid
■
i.-ateH with . toe Ae^vrou-s, t . arid , fen. whs
< ‘ ar s ' 3 ' =«g*-y^ ^ atl ' mal " /.V' !*««» '‘‘ ry
‘
Curzon 3rd Davit:.
Olive is the house of enimnons, when
fieorge Unrson was i;.I:i sc:::;* tie
feu.-e as to alleged harsli tieatm.-iit l>v
Turk.-; of Cretan tills .m : v he was in
terniptvrt by a query from Mr. Davitr,
“Were the-’o prisoners l.acdcutTeuV'’
Quick a:-- lightning ea:-.:e (he reply,
‘'Yes, and spine ittmo l lv gebtleim u
en-.1n to lie no sitangers ta lutndcuffs."
This SMAnf course the -dgnul for a via
lent pv.Pii'. entary tempent. A day nr
t v .- ai t'-v Mr. Curzoti up to ttwirt
JB-. .' ill ar.d ex pressed Id.; sorrow It
!:!•; ■ ttm1 Mie expres. ’ n and his fte
togizc for i, in I he usist
. iv manner. ’’Why,” he siiM, train ”t
thw.gi; Piv in: rruptlan came
you a in Hint yon, of eonrse. wmiid
.nt-t ml: 1 w.-im horrliii'd ivh i I dls
w ..:vd that it was who .had
i«.vde file remark. Of .ur-.v J wunid
i.- -,' be vaniitiie of jehirnt on Pie sob
jeet of iiitpriscnfilen! ;*.nd (iniah-ud’s
with a nwii who bad end v.--d nine Umg
year: of penal - serviuide/V-London
G lobe.
Making Men’s Hats.
Men’s huts, stiff or ft .alike, are
made from the fur of the rabbit. A,
copper tone, whoso very top is niore
or less the shape of the crown of a
(:e”h> bar and whose sides are --ov¬
er- d with minute holes. Is revolved
very swiftly over n sue: ion fan. The
fur is fed on to the cone, and the suc¬
tion and. 1 i-.e swift r. -, Btfiotl draws
this against the cone in the form or
a far cone very far hi shape front the
finished hat. but wbi. li rtipidiy be
: ' i An-,! . rsir.trshrhlk
Jnr. shir iti"' itfd trtn-- per. Individual
skill of it v**r> hbch dvr counts for
everything. - Arpiiqiits.
A Frvnch Joks.
Two tramps on tfit- banks cf the
Reive:
it. Y*-u -ti w .vtiBiwif In.
— 1 T'ti jtt'::n i-:; v at ami take
. < m -'it: Then i : the reward
fre-a: She n-ialmie s;««iety.”
' ^’t'
•” '
; ‘ i: ” : ' ;
-
t :V ! Uv “ &
^ yen going ‘ 'j'*"’ to remam H' sitting MV l, '" there; : i!r "
;V :v do.i i you come hr . and . rake me
I thiui; l tttiiriit make more
out of you in l 1 j • mor.^uo/” — IHiris
JourmU. *
An Optimist.
“1 am £ :iu, 2 f to buy n ravt-u/' a "ou
tfomnn icf«»rtiie<1 bis n* i^hbor.
i?eafJy’ M rejoJued Jlatter. “What
"i want to see if these birds really
do live 5500 years, ns* people say:" —
West minster Gazette.
Ready Excu;3.
Beggar—Say. boss, won't you help a
p 'or fellow out of a job? .1 oak ley—
Gracious! Can’t yon get ouLpf it with
out my help? Pretend you're sick or
something.—Philadelphia Press.
-, The Insanity.
“How was ife acquitted?”
“Insanity."
"He doesn't seem crazy,” 4
“He isn’t. It was the jory that was
•off."—Kaiwa.-j City Times.
His Tssk.
George-With the assurance of your
lave 1 coigd conquer the world. Grace
-That will not lie necessary. Alt yon
have to do is to conquer j>ma.—-I.on
d n Tit-Bits.
Every real and sen:-. AA:g effort- at
self improvement is of itself a lesson
of profound humility.
*