Newspaper Page Text
Spring Plac e Jimplecute.
CAlirEtt A HEAlirSELL, ITopriktors.
VOLUME XI.
CANADA'S PREMIER REAR
SIR JOHN M’OONALD HAS BREATHED
HIS LAST.
IV* »'*• * i.i. ■ V' oiuisctoii* in In. Mnrniiifr.
H « KtiBilly at in Ke<l*tde—Fuiierxl
Arranif. nienls His Official C*i-w<*r.
Ottawa, Ont.. June 8.—Sir John
Mac lonuld became uneonsciou yester¬
day and remained so until lie died at
19:15 to-night, surrounded by his entire
household.
A ; 1 the chinch Iwlls are tolling ajid
the premier's death is deeply regretted
by thousands of citizens. The funeral is
l kely to take place next Tuesday, On
that day the body v ill most bkely lie re¬
moved to the Srtiate chamber and lie in
state for four or five hours. The inter¬
ment will subsequently take place at
Kingston, Ont., where the premier's lirct
wife and his father are buried,
Silt t/HARLRS TLI'VKn’a MOVKMKXT.
Toronto, June ti.—A special cable
dispatchto the Globcfrom lxmdon sajs:
“ I * o or three cable messages reap, cting
Kir John Macdonald’* condition continue
In fie published daily here, 'I he news is
followed with the closest interest
throughout the kingdom. Meanwhile
there is no tidings of Sir Chaw. Tapper’s
plans.
“At the ifgli commissioner’s office
nothing is known. Various inquiries in
unofficial eirch s, where his movements
are g« rurally closely followed, had (he
annu result. It is briieytd he is stii in
Vh nn i, but two other < rlonial delegates
to (he (Hiatal congress haw* already re¬
turned lo London,
“Among the many who are acquainted
u ilh riir (, liaries Tuppei long cherished
desire for succession to tin* leadership,
the heii* f gains ground that bis present
line <>f aefion is followed because it is
thought best e d elated to stimulate a
request, from Ottawa, to return and as¬
sume command. Whatever may be the
issue of.tl e present position of the party
no one lu re expects Hit Glrarles Topper
lo remain in London many weeks
longer.”
.Sir John A. Macdonald, who has been
lie* inter of (iniui'la and Die most promi¬
nent figure in the British e >1 ni's for
many v.-ara. is not a native of the
D ilitimort, l 4 ut, a Scotchman, fie was
I < ru in (Umgow' in 1815, Five years
later bis parents, Hugh and Helen Mac-'
di.nald, eum.igratid to Canada and
settled in Kingston, which was then the
most iiiqwirliini town in Upper Canada.
After in* bad ennred his sixteenth jeai
bis fiiihei I* * k him away from school
ai d articled him in the office of George
Mackenzie, a Kingston lwwristor, where
ho studied law f,,r nix ytare. Before he
wen qt iie ‘21 lie was admitted to She liar
fitwi immediately opened an office at
K iegstoir. 1 (trough bis own bilily and
the u.11 pence* ( ,f his frillies he soon se¬
cured all ihe l.uftini sr. lm could give his
uilenlion to. A bout, ifiis time Von
Hlnmlfz, a. Pole by birth, crossed over
from Ogden: l in g wub Did men, month
those Who lied served in the l.yon-Muc
kenzie tronbhs which agitated Canadian
territory previous lo this, with tb? oh
j-'Ct of invading Canada. They were
defeated and Shouhz wig sentenced to
death. It wps in d* tense of this man
Hint voting MarCm aid first won his legal
spurs.
Do entered parliament in 1844 as a
Tory, representing Kingston. He played
ab active part fix m the first, and when
she Conservative parly was returned to
power in 1849, with riir Allan SICNab at
us h**ad, Macdonald became attorney
gem i al. A year or two subsequently lie
mu e oil, d !-'ir Alenas piemiirof (Jan
t<d* West. lie played a prominent part
in ell the political troubles preceding the
formation of (be present Dominion of
( umuia. In the iiist D( rninii ri gov< rn
merit, known as 1 lie Macionald Cur tie
go en.n ent in lt(>«, John A. Macdonald
was appointed pr< mi* r by Lord Mouck,
t ba t ben governor general of Canada. In
1H71 lu* was appointed ono of the j< ini
high commissioners for the settlement of
tiie Alabama claims, resulting in the
treaty of Washington. Sir John was
premier of Canada during tho I’acific
railway scandal, in 1873.
On the fall of the Mackenzie reform
gov. rpment in 1878 Sir John was in¬
trusted with the took of forming a new
administration. Ho took the position of
minis*or of the interior and premier, and
lias remained m power, ever since. He
received the honorary degree of 1). C. L
from the University of Oxford in 1865,
and in te'(J7 he was made u K. C. F, He
l as i f rn the aokr.oyvbdgod leader of the
Conservative party in Canada for tiie
past forty years.
SepHmttuj; t*»« rv
ATI anta, June 8.—The authorities
have finally notified the peniienlary
lessees to * If* dually separate all wemtn
in their camps from men.
The governor and principal keeper
were asked to suggest a plan for ellec
tur.lly accomplishing this- to which re
quest tho foilowihg reply has been re
urned:
“To the Lessees of Convicts: After
SPRING PLACE. GA., THURSDAY, JUNE 18, 1891.
mreful consideration of the matter dis¬
cussed in our recent interview concern
ing the management of female e jnvicts
under jour control, we have finally de¬
termined to order a full and complete
separation of the women from the men,
so that tlio.e can lie absolutely no possi¬
bility of contact.
“We have no inclination to indicate
the character of tiie employment to be
given them, nor the number to lie kept
together. We simply order the complete
separation.
“We b.'g that you give prompt atten¬
tion to this ordi r. Very respectfully,
‘‘[Signed |
“W, ,1. Nouthkrn, (lover or,
‘ (*RO. U Jo Mss, l‘rinei|iftl Keeper.'
WANAMAKEK NOT THE CAUSE.
Livy I'x plain* Why 11. Closed th« It y
. stone (tank.
W ash t no TON, June Comptroller
of the .Currency Lacy, lining asked to¬
day ahout the story published in New
York lo the effect that Postmaster (leu
oral Wanarnaker delayed the appoint¬
ment of a receiver of the Keystone Hank
and then closed it to punish President
Marsh, because the latter would not,
give Warm maker $20,(MM) for *150,000 of
over-issued stock, said; “There is not
one word of truth in Unit. Mr. Wanu
ntaker had nothing to do with the mat
ter. He neither kept tiie toank open ot
shut it up. It was kept open because as
I have explained, I hoped to.get it o
its feet again, not knowing how deeper
ately it was injured. It was closed be¬
cause i, discovered bv cross-questioning
President Marsh, v. hen he cam- to rny
iiouse one evening that, there had b en
fraud perpetrated.'’
“No one on earth knew my determin¬
ation to dose the Keystone Hank until it
was actually closed the next morning,
except Mr. Drew, « hen fie got my tele¬
gram lo close it. 1 never exchanged a
word or a line with Air. Wanamakei
about the matter, and he had nothing to
do with it. I simply did my duly with
tiie light 1 had, first iti k«< ping the hank
open and then in shutting it. up.'’
ACQtUTTEI) AFTKH NINETEEN
ye. i as.
Touched by the frost of seventy win¬
ters, old Jacob Stanp, of Uniontown,
Pa., finds himself at last out froiu un¬
der the shadow of a crime which lias
' haunted him for nhn-Hs o years; lie
w»s acquitted, after standing trial, for
the third time, on a charge of mnrdi r.
Twice he luul been convicted, and the
singular feature of the case is that the
first of these trials occurred nineteen
and the second eighteen vi sits ago. Af
ter the aicorn! trial he escaped from jail,
and up to last Match, when lie was
finally apprehended, he remained a fu¬
gitive from justice.
An old neighbor of Staup, in Fayette
County, was the victim of the murder,
piere had been a fend lie tween the iam¬
bi* s, and this fact helped to convict
Staup. Since the twice condemned man
escaped, eighteen years ago, however.
Ilia son has died, and a deathbed confes¬
sion of the latter, in which he admitted
himself to have been tiie murderer, was
one of the features of t iie third trial,
which has led to I be old man’s acquittal.
The case is one probably without a,
parallel. Had Staup been taken to the
scaffold on his first condemnation and
bis son’s lips remained sealed, he would
have died an innocent man and the law
would have committed unwitting mur¬
der. That fortunate f scape from behind
tin* bars, and (he * ucirssfui maintenance
of liberty through long years, has en¬
abled the old man in, last to stand free
and nntrammeled. Perhaps, yes, even
probably, his years on earth will not be
many more, but at least they will not go
out glider the sorrow and disgrace of it.
terrible accusation and condemnation,
As'well argue (bat the plow is a cap¬
italistic invention to drive tin* shade
laborer in the poor farm as to say that
mechanical means of increasing the pro
duction of material wealth are only de¬
vices for lowering wages and cheapen¬
ing talior.
The baccarat scandal in England has
excited our “best society” to the highest
pitch, and the detaiL of the trial are de¬
voured with avidity. “It’s English, you
know,” arid it is so delightful to read
about II. It. H. the Prince of Wales be¬
ing on the witness stand. Sensible peo¬
ple, however, think it rather disgrace
fid that the future King of England
should carry around with him a gam¬
bler’s ou(fit. “Hiecarat will soon be¬
come a fashionable game with the “bet¬
ter class” of our countrymen, Or those
affected with the Anglomaniac craze.
-----
Gold while in circulation is handled
Jess than any oilier medium. It is
usually hi pi. in vaults of banks for de¬
mand rarely made, and for tin's reason
the loss by abrasion is nut [ of 1 per
cent, in twen'y years. In a *20 gold
piece, the standard weight of which is
516 grains, the government allowance
for loss by abrasion is 2.5bgrains.
The Tariff party is passing around the
plate a little too much. The tin plate.
“TELL TIJE TRUTH.”
THE RAIIK CONTINENT.
AFRICA THE HOPZ THE COLORED
PACE IN AMERICA.
Bit>iioi> Turner, of die a, it. K Conference,
Talks about. th« H .ce l'robn m -His
Pica of the Fu'ure of His e«<-p«- l.ibe
rla me starting Point.
New York, June 9, 1891.
The center of interest in colored reli
gions circles is the nvin who wields the
gavel in the New York A. M. K. Confer
once, now holding its annual session in
tliis city, bishop of the First Episcopal
district, including New York, N *w Jer
soy, New’England mid Delaware. liish
op Turner is a man of independent
thought and vigorous, speech, known to
have ultra ideas upon the questions
which concern his race, and it was only
necessary to suggest the subject of Af
rican emigration to draw out an exp res
si in on this extraordinary scheme.
“Yes,” lie saifl, “I do favor the return
of the colored race to Africa. 1 believe
that the negro is in I bis country by the
providence of God and that a negative
force has been in operation to work out
a positive result. God is praised by the
wrath, of man? He says we shall not
kill: war has been ope of the greatest civ¬
ilizing ageroies that mark the history of
nations. Slavery per se is the sum of all
villainies; yet, that infinite good his
grown out of tiie enslavement of the.ne
gro in this country 1 believe that no one
wifi question. In Africa we were heath¬
ens of the* most barbarous type and
would have remained so for ages to came;
but (iod saw (hat the shortest route te
our salvation was fhrotigh contact with
this mighty while race. And, notwith¬
standing that Coniact lias been attended'
in many respects with cruelly and in
justice, * e havondv.ineed in every phase
of civilization and arc destined to be¬
come one of the giant races of tiie eai til,
for the foieeft that aic pent up in the
negro will icquire. thousands of yeafs to
exhaust thorn.
“Tlie negro race is not a wmk race :
neither is it a fossil race like the Indian.
I believe the negro is the boy race ot the
earth. He has by no means reached nra
rtinity- by tluit I mean hoc ini manhood.
T bp negro race.is tbe, only iae*; tliat can
compete with the CaUCaSHlun, not i<7
physical endurance alone, but in the ac¬
quirement of e.very phase of knowledge
which distinguishes that race- Africa
exceeds all other divisions of the globe
in territory ai d re ourcc.t. Her popula¬
tion is at leqst 400,000,900. I believe G*>d
intends t<%bring tt.ise hundreds of mil¬
lions under the sway of civilization and
Christianity, and whatever other agen¬
cies may lie brought into requisition,
man must play the most prominent pun
in the divine plan. Aud what people
could better adjust themselves to the
work than those wl.o are blood of their
blood and love of (heir love? The blacks
themselves are to be the chief factors in
the consummation of this, stupendous
task—for it is stupendous—and they will
do this by their return to the land of
rheir ancestry.
“There is a g r oat chasm between the
tv o r ices, it is tiie distance between the
East and the West. There exists on
loth sides a social prejudice, which
Christianity itself is failing to obliterate,
ami we find it wherevtr tbe races come
ill contact. The w hite rac - is like the
eagle, it consorts with no other race.
White men gravitate and mingle and
‘cold shoulder’ the oilier races with- ut
any seeming effoit. They do this on the
territory of other nations, and l am sure
they will not coal* See with the m g <>
when he is on their ffrritory. Any other
condition of things than free recognition
will never satisfy the ne*.ro. He is too
aspiring, too proud, too full of a s *n.so ot
his own worth tori manhood to he con
tented where dir crimination confronts
him or I lie so-called superiority ot the
white man is constantly seen and felt.
So long as tiiese conditions exist, so long
will the negro lie a grumbler, a fault¬
finder, a menace to the community in
which lie lives and a disturbing element
in the nation.
“The supreme court has decided that
he has no civil rights which ihe nation
ne< d respect. States can rise up through
their legislatures, ana enact laws by Wi¬
thonty of the state court of the nation
that will discriminate against the negro
to a limitless extent, and there is no re
dros. Any state in the nation can com¬
pel him, bis wife and bis children, to
ride in a cattle car and pay
as much for (life privilege ns the
white man in a palace car. The slates
could do no more when the negro was a
slave. In Texas and other states the
law makes it a penal offense for the rail¬
road authorities to allow white and
black to ride in the same ear, unless the
black lie the nurse of a white child or
the custodian of some afflicted white
person, So it is m Mississippi and Ar¬
kansas, and so it might be in New York,
but for strong, public sentiment. If such
law can be executed an 1 justified by the
supreme, worse laws can be enacted ami
1 !» ifove they will be. In such a condi¬
tion of things, the presence of the negro
he;e will be a menace to the body poli¬
tic, atvl the only remedy is for the self
reliant, self-respecting negro, conscious
< f his own worth, to return to the land
of his fa thers, taking his civilization and
Christianity along with him, to establish
civi inM colonies, and build up civilized
nations in Africa and reflect his higher
11 nations around him,grad*
U •’ bringing the millions under the in
*' u<rne of advanced condition,
“ thousandi of negroes are ready to
go, farmers, carpenters, blacksmiths and
machinis t. I do not include m tliis
number waiters and hirelings on the one
hand and the women or white Class of
colored people on the other, who have
bad some political preferment. The gov
ermnent should assist in the exodus, if
It will not accord to the negro the privi
leges of citizenship. America ought to
r.urse Liberia at a child, a fondling, a nil
make it the starting point for piercing
Al
THE WOOI. EWJNIE.E.
Allhough the increase in the tariff on
woo! and woolen increases the price or
lowerw the quality of the clothing of the
people, the importations since tin pass¬
age of the McKinley 1 ill demonstrate
the impassibility of excluding foreign
wool. from this m irket exerpt by an ab¬
solute prohibition. When the frrftidu
le'it wool schedules of the McKinley
Hid were being prepared by the joint
committee of manufacturers and of Col¬
umbus Delano’s Ohio political shepherds.
The people warned the wool growers
that the ijAcveased duties would not real¬
ly “protwt” them against competition
with foreign wool. The importation of
•Id :*'-i,liOll pounds of foreign wools for
tin* llm first three months „f 1891, as
against Hi,858,090 pounds for tho first
three mouths of 1890 show how‘idle is
lie* attempt lo shut out foreign wools
by liny duty short of an absolute pro¬
hibition as long as there is only one
sheep skin a year from the average
American product for each head of pop
illation.
To satisfy the demand, manufacturers
import over or around the tariff. The
wopl h bmind to c 'iim in, and after it is
ir every pound of it competes with the
-American product. In spite of the nx
cessive tariff ou foreign wools, lhe“pHce
of American wools is regulated by the
prices of free trade markets. The tariff
increase is paid on till foreign wool * im¬
ported, but the wool growers cannot add
the tax to their price, or charge tip to
ll*e tariff limit in disposing of their clip.
Under favorable circumstances that* ■nay
be done by combinations of dealers, tint
the wool-grower is competing with im¬
mense quantifies of foreign wool in this
market, while at the same time in Inly¬
ing articles of. clothing made from for¬
eign wools he is paying both the tax on
the wool and tbe tax on woolens im
posed to compensate the manufacturer
bn the tax on his raw materials,
As far as the wool grower is concern
oil the entire woolen schedule is a
swindle, just as it is a fraud on the gen¬
eral public. < Vo icon ted by the imtnu
fuctuiu r.s and the Ohio politicians, it
abounds in tricks which were enacted
into law by be /teed Congress with its
eyes shut. In commenting the Chicago
Herald sivr in a. n cent issue:
By on** of these tricks (iongresa, with¬
out goat’s knowing it, transferred common
hair from the free to Hie dutiable
Island subjected it to a tax equal to
about 300 per cent, By another of them
Congress, without knowing it on or
titously increased the taxes on carpet
wools. This is known as the trick of
the sorting el luse.
Now Judge Lacmnbe of the United
states Circuit Court, sitting in New
York, lets decided that by another trick
Congress, wiriiout knowing it, largely
increased the duties on woolen knit
goods. This was perhaps the most ras¬
cally inorcnswl trick of the lot, for the bill openly
the duties on these goods from
about 68 per cent, to about 129 pet cent.
Congress may possibly have known that
it was increasing the dittos to that I'X
•ent, but it did not know that it had
actual been dextrously juggled into making an
increase to almut 186 per cent.
The man u ith a dozen, with fifty or
with 200 sheep is as much a victim of
tiiese tricks as those who have no sheep
at ail. lie is competing with foreign
wool that must be imported, because we
must have woolen clothing no matter
what the price. And while from season
to reason our wool prices must be deter
nfimd ly tie vtr'd’s fujply and de
marid, tbe tariff taxes on all imported
wools must be paid and added on to the
prices of Woolens offered for sale in this
market. Ho that when the wool-grouper
tniys his wo >lens, lie pays his pro rata
of riffs tax; and it is safe to say that the
average wool-grower pays in wool (axes
through the increased cost of clothing
to his family every year three times
what he would get if tiie tariff tax on
wool were paid to him as a direct boq.aty
on every pound of his clip.
Grandpa Baby McKee has received a toy couch.
Harrison will continue to use
Baby McKee as his “coach.”
LIFE'S PHASES. i
I took ft smiling Infant up.
And clasped it lu my arms.
Thou mused upon it* baby life % __
Aud all Its budding charms.
If wo could only keep her thus
How easy It would be
To shield her*from all worldly wile**
From pitfalls keep her fieel
But soon the happy, helpless babe
Into the child Is changed.
With sfeady steps and willful ways
In rudest rote arranged.
And with a sorrow, deep and dread,
I cry ** O, life 1 O, Pain I *
Cannot this one—this one be spared—
In childhood’s ranks remain?’* ^
,
The years havo slowly crept along.
Through moment, hour and day, /
The bonny babe and cheery child
Have strangely passed away;
And In their stead wo see the form '
Of one both, tall aud fair—
A maiden with a modest mein,
_
Soft eyes and sunny hair!
And so she stands upon the verge .*
Of life’s enchanting stream,
Till living seems scare life at all,
It is so near a dream; ‘)
Yet, slowly, surely comes the day.
When all the glowing gloss
Is suddenly torn far apart,
And shows the hidden cross.
All, now thn heartaches gather fast
Till anguish unfolds age,
And ere we clearly see the change.
She’s on life’s parting page;
Tho (ask is done—the good 1s gained—
A gasp—a sob—a sigh—
And so tho o irthly raoo Is run— . * ,
Is man born but to die?
—Detroit Free l’ross.
Masonry and Uio Druses.
A few months ago I had occasion to
enter into a business contract With one
of iny Druse farmers. When we were
about to draw up tho agreement, the
Druse suggested that, as he could neith¬
er road nor write, we should ratify tho
bargain in tho manner customary
among his people. This consists' of a
solemn grasping of hands together In
the prosenoe of two or three other
Druses as witnesses, while the agree¬
ment is recited by both parties. Being
always on tho qui vivo to gain a practi¬
cal Insight into tho manners and cus¬
toms of the Druses, I readily consented
to this form of contract, hoping thereby
to learn something moro of their meth¬
ods of procedure.
Accordingly, the farmer brought three
of his neighbors to mo; and the terms
of our contract having been made known
to them, one of them took the right
hand of each of us and joined them to¬
gether, while ho dictated to us what to
say after him. To my great astonish¬
ment the Druse who was grasping my
hand gave roe the grip of Master Mason!
I immediately roturnod it to his equal
surprise. Ho asked me how and where
I had learned their secret sign, and tfhls
set mo on tho track of furthor inquiries,
the result of \vhi*- 1 » l.— xoxtilei'
what was before a vory strong belief on
my part an absolute conviction.
I now foel morally certain that my
theory is corroct; and speaking as a
Freemason, and as ono who has also
searched somewhat fully into the mys¬
tic touets of the Drusoa, I can assert
that, in many particulars, the esoterio
teaching of both systems is more or less
idonticnl. Owing to the extreme secrecy
and exclus iveness of the Druse charac¬
ter, it is most difficult to gain an in¬
sight into their inner rites and tenets,
find it requires many years ot inter¬
course with them and tho firm estab¬
lishment /of relations of mutual confi¬
dence and trust before one can be in a
position to learn anything concerning
them.—Blackwood’s Magazint*.
A tldimnese Dinner.
Some time ago a Japanese gentleman,
who is living in Paris, invitod some
friends to a genuine Japanese dinner, of
which the menu were as follows: Ba¬
nana soup, slices, of octopus or devil
fish feelers, roasted porcupine, oranges
preserved in ginger syrup, boiled pome¬
granates. candied Hazards’ tails, etc.
The daintiest morsel of the feast, which
is to tho Japanese what oysters are to
us, was a magnificent fish of the turbot
species. It was served on a large dish
ot priceless Kioto porcelain, garnished
with a wreath of variegated bamboo
loaves. It was still alive, for its gills
and its mouth moved regularly. To the
horror of the guests present the host
raised tho skin from the upper part ot
the fish, which had been previously
loosened, and picked off slice after slloe
of the creature, which, although alive,
had been carved in such a fashion that
no vital part had been touched. The
heart, gills, liver and stomach had been
left intact, and some damp seaweed, on
which the fish rested, sufficed to keep
tho lungs in action. The miserable
thing seemed to look with a lustrous
but most reproachful eye upon the
guests while they consumed its body,
the transparent liesh of which they were
forced to admit to be delicious. It
should be added that this particular
fish, “the Dai,” is only good when eaten
alive. The moment it is dead it becomes
opaque, tough and starchy.—Tribune.
As liroad as She lo Long.
Comparatively tew people know that
tho largest woman in Georgia lives in
Houston County, yet such is doubtless
tho fact. She is a negress. is 47 years
old, the mother of eight children, and
lives on the Dick Johnson plantation,
near Grovania. Her name is Anroe
Brown. From actual test of weights
and measures ( he following figures were
obtained by a party of gentlemen who
saw hor Inst Sunday. Her weight is
5U0 pounds. She is 6 feet 8 inches
in height, 7 feet 2 inches is her
circumference around the bust, 6 feet 4
inches around the waist, and 30 inches
around the arm near the shoulder. One
man was unequal to tho task of measur¬
ing hor. She came remarkably near
being as broad as she is long. It Is said
she fills completely .the body of a one
horse wagon, and Is a full load for one
horse to pull. Within the last twelve
months sho has gained about 100 pounds
in weight. Sho would be a valuable
sideshow card at the Piedmont Expos¬
ition or the Georgia State Fair. She la
an example of the health and produc¬
tiveness of Georgia.
One Dollar a Ykar.
NO. 21.
A BALLAD OF THE GRIP.
Ah, woll-a-day, thou nose of me,
Bornetimo my boast, my Joy, my prtda.
So dainty and so fair to boo,
Just long enough, and none too wide.
And lovely-tinted as the pearl,
A lily o*er my rosy lip.
Now art thou horrid to this girl—
I’ve got the grip I I’ve got the grip!
Anon tbou seemest hot as flame,
And then anon swift Icy spears
Shoot through thee—what a dreadful shame f-*
And goose flesh clothes ray shell-like ears.
fihoJJ-Iikel ah, no, for beefsteak wise
They’re red beyond the power of thought.
My beaming orbs, my matchless eyes
With nasty tears are dimmed and fraught.
My voice, ho said, was like the lark's,
But now I croak like any crow;
I wheezo and sneeze and snarling harks
Snap from this swanllke throat ot suow.
Prom dainty too to top knot line
I’m Just one mass of pains and aches,
Come not to see me, lover mine—
I’ve got the shakes! I've got the shakes!
You would net like to see me thus,
Although you swear you love me true*
To me you could not give one buss
Oh, Nor could I give one buss feyou.
mother, tuck mo warm in bed.
Pile blankets up for many a mile;
With camphor sooth© this braizing head
And leavo me here to snooze awhile.
For o?i f your daughter’s awful sick.
And does not care for anything
0 Tills world can give, or slow or quick, ->
Nor dreadflijhe aught grim death can bring,
And, mother," tf from off the hooks
I go, or should my cable slip,
Don’t moping go, with downcast looks,
For tb*m no more I'll havo the grip.
■ —N. Y. Recorder.
Slaking It Pleasant.
Owing to a confusion of names of sta¬
tions, I got off at the wrong one in Tennes¬
see, and as there was no public house in
tho hamlet, the station agent said I could
go home with him. His home was n humble
one, as seen in the darkness, and as we
reached the gate ho baited and said;
“Stranger, perhaps I ought to tell
you-”
“ What?” I asked,'as he hesitated.
“Well, nevermind. Come along in.”
He took me into the front room, which
did not seem to be much used by tho fam¬
ily. As wo entered there came a loud
yell from an adjoining room, and he ex¬
plained: ,
“It’s only my wife boxing the oldest
gal's oars for sasmng her. Let me take
your hat.”
He had scarcely taken it when a boy was
heard whooping, and he explained:
“It's only my wife pulling young Tim’s
hair for not bringing in the night wood.”
The whoop was followed by a yelp and a
howl, and my host calmly explained:
“Ono. o’ the dogs got in the way, you see, - J
aud she lifted him.”
1 was trying to make his position a little
less embarrassing, when there were t\v<'
yells in quick succession, followed by ijj.
scramble, and ho crossed his legs and 1
r
marked: -rho ttviue r>**>i***i>ia* hooking IP
ties off the table and got caught » »
at it.” 1 *
Half a minute later, just as I had (
ready to ask about tho crops In that'
cality, tho door was banged open ai
woman, who had a fork in one hand ai
baby on hor shoulder, bounced in
shouted out:
” You ouery, lazy Jim Murdock, i’ll if *
don’t help take keer of those brats r.
She saw me mid stopped and reti , e
and when she had gone the husbai
plained: 8 _
“ That’s what I was going to tell v>
the gate—that ye’d have to take chi
on her being In a tantrum. She’s got -
and if you don’t mind being called eqi
eyed, bald headed, gander shanked, !
and hump backed, and if you can kick <
dogs off when ehe sets ’em on and put
with the children climbing over you *. r-—
try and make it pleasant otherwise.”
A Terrible Mistake.
A young gentleman had au engagement
with the daughter of a prosperous citizen
to attend the theatre. The young lady sug¬
gested that they use the family carriage,
and the gallant was too polite to decline.
On the morning of the engagement the
young lady asked her father to please where-* stop
in Mr. Bowersox’s office and inquire
he wanted the carriage to call for him. The
kindly old gentleman did so. He stepped in
the office, and, calling to the young man
said:
“ I want to see about that carriage."
“ Wait a moment,” said the youth, evi¬
dently agitated. He laid down his pen,
and, coming from behind the desk, led his
visitor into a far corner, and continued:
“I can’t settle that right now, as I am
deucedly hard up. “I’ll fit it by the middle
of the month, dead sure.”
“What do you mean?” said the old gen¬
tleman.
“ Why, ain’t you the collector for the
Gouge’cm Transfer company?”
“No, I’m not. I’m Miss Bondholder’s
father, and want to know where my car¬
riage is to lxi sent for yon to-night.”
He wont to the theatre in the carriage,
but he did not enjoy it much.—Louisville
Vost.
Playing » Trump Card.
I il. -ite,;.
m j |i
•IS ' it £74
th
it 't-ii rjr-A* T. V;
Tit I
Miss Loewensteln—“No, Isaac; dot en¬
gagement vas all up. I see by tier baper
dot your father vas burned out last bight I"
Mr. Oxsteln—” Iteboeca, my loti, v* * you
mad? Der oldt mail has given w dot In¬
surance bolicy, and we vas twice as rich as
pefore!’—Judge.
Zoological Discuss m.
Watts—Since he Biggars beginning mat i /.i think that little him¬
wheat deal is >
self a financier. I should not be surprised
to see him try to ape >y Got M. liHrv'lf . ••
Potta--Well, If he confin.oa UndtClJiie to
Aping Gould and doe* not, to
monkey with him he may iss all right*.—
Indianapofi* Journal.