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Spring Place Jimplecute CARTER & HEARTSELL. PpoPBreroHS. VOLUME XI. THE MAN IN THE MOON. The man in the moon looked down, looked down, As he went sailing over town, And spied & snug retreat and dark, Beneath a yew tree in a park, O deart Why did he smile so broad and Queer? There was a bench beneath the tree,' And on it sat not one nor three. And yet ha peered the branches through To he Quite sure that there were two. Well, ■▼ell, Such tale* a* the Man in the Moon could tell! He sent a silver shaft of light Straight through the vague and lying night; It flashed athwart two eyes upturned. And two with love and youth that burned— Alack! And these were blue and those were black. And then the Man In the Moon sailed past Across the heavens wild and vast; And though he smiled, he did not look Again into that leafy nook. Oh, oh, Hs sees so much. tlvaA’s Queer.you know! DRACK, TIIE SPRITE. TKANSI.ATEB FROM THE FRENCH. In the last century there lived in tho iiule town ol Gaillac a young merchant named Michael, who, finding himself at tlie age to marry, set about seeking a wife. Provided she was gentle, pious, rich, pretty, aud of good family, it whs of little importance as to the rest, for Michael knew that tt was necessary to be modest in one's desires. Unhappily, he did not set* a person in Gaillac who ap¬ peared worthy of his choice. All the young girls there had known defects, without speaking of those that were un¬ known. Finally, he was told of a demoiselle of Lavaur dowered with virtues unnum¬ bered and 20,000 crowns. This last sum was exactly the amount Michael needed to establish himself, so he immediately fell deeply in love with tlie young lady of Lavaur. He was introduced to the family, who found hkn very agreeable, and welcomed him favorably. But the young heiress had several suitors between whom she hesitated. After some prelim¬ inaries, it was decided that they should all meet at an evening's sociable, and, being compared, the relatives of the young lady should make a choice. On the day assigned Michael left Gail¬ lac for Lavaur. He had put into his portmanteau what was tlie most suitable; an apple green coat, a pigeon throat purple vest, black velvet trousers, hose of silk with silver facings, and buckled shoes, beside powder and satin ribbon for his queue. Ills horse was covered by a long netting to protect him from the flies, and the bridlo was ornamented with tufts of silk, while tho saddle was of hog- skin. Moreover, the prudent traveler had not omitted putting pistols into his hol¬ sters, where also w as slipped in a small flagon of brandy and a few slices of pistachio nut cake. In reality, Michael was so anxious about the arranged test that he felt at each instant his courage oozing away. Hence, perceiving afar the church of Lavaur, he came to a sudden pauso. He first reiuqfl in his steed, then put his foot upon tlie ground, and to order to reflect upon what ho should say during the evening of trial entered a little grove, where he seated himself upon the turf. He had drawn from their place, for the sake of companionship, the pistachio nut cake and the flask, placing them between bis knees so that, without thinking, he might accompany his reflections by swal¬ low's of liquor and mouthfuls of food. These distractions resulted in reassuring him and giving him confidence. He ar- rived at the point of believing himself possessed of all the graces of w'it and of virtue, and he w as infallibly assured of victory. So, as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, he rose to continue his journey, when a noise w r as heard behind him in the thicket. It was as of a multitudeof little feet striking the sod in cadence to tho Bound of drum and cymbals. Michael, astonished, turned about, and by the light ■of the first stars perceived a troop of earth men led by their king, Tambourinet; tlie buffoon of these little people, Goblin Drack, came last, turning hand springs and uttering cries like a jackdaw. The faries surrounded the traveler with a thousand testimonials of friendship and good wishes. Michael, who had drank too much not to be brave, welcomed them like old acquaintances, and seeing that their’ little eyes were fixed upon his cake, broke it out to them as to so many Sparrows, Despite their great numbers each had a bit, save Drack, who arrived when all was ended. Tambourinet wished now to know what was the quality of this brandy, and the flask was passed from hand to hand until it reached the jester, who found it empty, and threw it away. “This is just, my little man," he said to the goblin, “for those who arrive too late can expect but disappointment. ” “I will give you something so that you. will always remember your words, * cried Drack in a rage. “And what is that?" inquired the trav¬ eler ironically. “Do you think yourself big enough to fight with me?" Drack disappeared without replying, and Michael remounted his horse after taking leave of Tambourinet. He had not proceeded a hundred paces when the saddle turned and threw him intp.the dust. He rose, slightly stunned, ; rebuokhd the girth, and again mounted his horse; but a little farther along, as lie teas passing a bridge, the right stirrup suddenly broke, and he found himself seated in the middle of the way. He rent is m had humor, and SPRING PLACE, GA., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1891. naa a third fall upon the atones of the road, and there found a resting place. Fearing that if he persisted he should be unable to present himself to the family of Ilia intended, he decided to ride his horse bareback and carry tire saddle upon his shoulder. He thus made his entrance into Lavaur amid the laughter of t)ie peo¬ ple, who were taking tea before their doors. “Laugh, laugh, you doable idiots!" murmured Michael. “It dees not appear to me such a remarkable thing that a man should carry his saddle when it will not carry him. ” At last he reached the hotel, where he alighted and demanded a chamber in which to remove his traveling garments. He opened his valise with care and laid out upon the lied the articles of his toilet in the order of their importance. Thinking first of his hair, he considered whether itshould be powdered to a blonde or like hoar frost. The last appeared to him most tender, so he took the pull ball of swan’s down and commenced opera¬ tions upon the right hand Bide; but when he had finished it appeared as if an invis¬ ible baud had jiowdered the other side of tlie head a blonde in a manner to make it part yellow aud part white, like an or- augc half peeled. Michael, astonished, hastened to mix the powders with the comb, and being in too great a hurry to comprehend the reason—for thought demanded much leisure with him—he extended his hand toward the spool on which the satin ri* - lain destined for his queue was wound. Tiie spool escaped his grasp and fell to the floor. Michael ran to pick it up, but it seemed to tty before him. Twenty times he stooped to seize it, and twenty times it eluded his impatient hands. One would say it was a kitten playing with a bone. Finally he lost patience, and see¬ ing that the evening was advanced, he resigned himself to wear his old ribbon, nnd made all possible speed to put on his morocco shoes. He first buckled the right shoe, then the left, and his eye, arrested by the lat¬ ter , led him to admire the elegance of the member, which had nothing plebeian in it, when he perceived that tlie first buckle bent nearly to the floor. He oc¬ cupied himself in placing it better. A brief interval, and the second shoe needed attention. Michael had hardly set this right than the other demanded now care. He persisted thus for a wholo hour with¬ out being uble to have both equal in ad¬ justment. Furious, he put on again his traveling shoes to end it, and then reached for his velvet knee breeches; but now another marvelous tiling! At the moment he ap¬ proached the bed the breeches launched themselves from It, and began to circu¬ late about the chamber with a thousand provoking gambols. Michael, jietrifled, remained for a mouMiit open mouthed, with arms ex tended, contemplating with bewildered eyes this strange scene. But I leave you to think what you may when he saw his vest, his coat, his hat join the breeches, taking their respective places and form¬ ing an imitation of himself, parodying his attitudes. Pale and terrified he rushed toward the window, but at this moment perceived, under the three cornered hat, the grin¬ ning face of Master Drack, who inadn mocking gestures to him. Michael uttered a cry. “Ah, miserable jester, it is you, thenl" le exclaimed. “Upon my soul I will make you repent of your insolence If you do not return to me my clothes immedi¬ ately 1" At these words he sprang upon the ap¬ parition, but llraek, with a retrograde movement, was at the other end of the chamber. The young man, whom anger and impatience made beside himself, precipitated himself anew upon the gob- lin, but this time he passed lietween his legs and out upon the staircase. Michael, in a rage, pursued him; he climbed to the fourth story, reached tlie garret, where Drack turned himself like a clothes horse until he took the fancy to escape by a dormer window. Michael exasperated, took the same road. The malicious goblin promenaded from roof to roof, trailing the velvet breeches, the vest, the coat, in all the gutters, to the great despair of Michael. At last, after a peregrination of several hours, travers¬ ing these mountains of the cate and swal lows, Drack climbed a high chimney, at the base of which his adversary WiU obliged to pause. He bent toward the breathless and dis couraged young man. “You see, my pretty friend,” said he, laughing, “you have forced me to spoil your ball dress upon the moss of the roofs; but, happily, what I see hero under the warm, white smoke will remedy all that." As he spoke, Drack agitated the velvet breeches above the pipe of the chimney. “What are you doing, you fool?" cried the young man. “I will send your clothes to the bleacher," cried the goblin. And the coat, the vest, and the hat, followed the breeches into the smoky abyss. The young gallarA seated himself upon the roof with a groan of despair, but he rose almost immediately. “Very well,” said he with resolution, “I will go to the ball in my traveling attire." A bell sounded from a neighboring clock. It was midnight. Michael counted the 12 strokes and could not restrain a cry. This was the hour appointed by the relatives to make known among the suit¬ ors present the one which the young lady preferred. “UnhaoDv one that I and" be ex¬ “TELL THE TRUTH.” claimed. “When 1 sliail now have ar¬ rived all will be over. Tlie guests aud tlie parents will niock at me!’’ “ And that will be just, my great man, * replied Brack with a biting sneer; “for you said to me, ‘To those who arrive too late nothing remains but regrets.’ Being thus served, I hope the lesson wifi pre¬ vent you at another time from laughing at the weak. And remember henceforth that the smallest are the most revenge- tuL" A SKLP RAISING NOSfiL Adonift DUey’g Remarkable Eiprri- eatef at a Lo» Aittfele* Theater. It is doubtful whether tlie annals of the American stage have anything more ludicrous than an accident which befell Actor Henry Dixey on his last California tour, says tlie Chicago Mail. He was playiug “The Seven Ages” at Los An¬ geles to standing room only. In his makeup as the Judge in tlie fourth act Dixey wears an artificial nose—a huge Roman nasal appendage of putty colored with vermilliou and ocher. Upon the occasion referred to the play made a big hit, and tlie first three acts were presented with all the regularity aud smoothness of clockwork. At this point, however, Dixey made the discov¬ ery' that the property man had neglected to provide putty for that rubicund ju¬ dicial nose. Hastily summoning a call boy, Dixey sent him out to procure the missing article. It was nearly time for the curtain when the youngster reap¬ peared aud reported, “1 can’t get no putty nowhere.” Then Dixey gave an impromptu war dance, which would have made him instantly famous had lie been before an audience, and seizing the boy. shouted: “i^uick, nowl Get me somo flour, quick! Run to a grocery, lion every inch of the way going and coin¬ ing I” Scared by the rather warlike demon¬ strations of Adonis, tho youngster lost no time in getting the much desired flour, Dixey hastily mixed the flour with a lit¬ tle water, kneaded it into dough, fash¬ ioned it into the semblance of his putty nose, and painted it os usual. The re¬ sult was eminently satisfactory; the dough was lighter than putty and tnoro adhesive, while there was no difference in the appearance. After a short wait the curtain was rung up and the fourth act proceeded. It was a warm night, and the heat from the gas footlights was quite oppressive. By the time Dixey had finished the celebrated dance in that act and had responded to an encore he was perspiring freely, owing to the unwonted heat. This combination of circumstances had a most wonderful effect upon the comedian’s artificial nose. The members of tho company were thun¬ derstruck to observe that the most prom¬ inent featuresof the judge’s physiognomy was growing, and growing very rapidly, too. Within three minutes from the begin¬ ning of tlie act that wonderful nose had doubled in size, and was still growing with a persistence which threatened soon to eclipse the other facial features. The orchestra noticed the phenomenon and every player stared at in astonishment. Then the. audience observed the change in tlie judge’s apjioarance, and wondered how it was produced, and what it had to do with the play. But matters steadily grew worse, and finally the actor was obliged to skip lightly from the stage to take heroic measures for reducing the mysterious and inexplicable swelling of his nose. About two thirds of it was left in the dressing room this time, but the fractional pro¬ boscis continued its dilating tactics, and when the act closed the judge’s nose was still much larger than usual. When the curtain was rung down tlie meinliers of the company made a rush for Dixey’a dressing room to find out what was the matter. There they found Dixey standing in tlie middle of the floor with his erratic nose in one hand and a small can of flour in the other, i le was reading aloud to himself tlie printed di¬ rections of the can: “Self raising flour— requires no yeast or leaven. Mix with a little cold water and set in a warm place for a few minutes, when tlie dough will be rewjy for baking. ” At a Wedding. The wedding in question was, in many ways, the most brilliant event of tlie Beason. Nothing which could serve to heighten the grace and significance of the affuir had been spared. The church, fit¬ tingly decorated by a Boston artist, was tilled with interested guests. The faint strains of Mendelssohn floated through the still air, and tlie beautiful bride stood before the altar with her chosen one. The pastor of the church, ritual in hand, read the solemn service until he came to the critical moment, when lie said: “Repeat after me, ‘I, William, take thee, Frances.’” He did not proceed at once, for to every one’s astonishment, before the bridegroom could find his voice, the bride, in clear, firm tones, repeated: “‘I, William, take thee, Frances.’” There was a dead silence, till the second officiating clergyman, unable longer to control himself, laughed outright. This was the signal for a contagious wave of merriment. As soon as the pastor could compose his features and resumo his dignified voice, he said: “Repeat after me, % William, tako thee, Frances.’” This time the bridegroom spoke up bravely, and there was no more blunder- tmm GlliU’ NAMES. Frances is "uii-Uiiiu'tl and free;* Bertlia “pellucid, purely blight;* Clara, “clear" as the crystal sea; Lucy,a star of radiant "llglit;" Catharine is “pure" as the mountain air; Henrietta,a soft,sweet “star;" FelU-ia is a “happy girl;" Matilda is a "lady true;" Margaret is a shining “pearl;" Rebecca, “with the faithful few;" Busan is a “lily white; 1 * Jane lias tlie willow’s curve and "grave;* Cecilia,dear,“is dim of night,;” Sophia shows “wisdom on her face;’’ Constance is linn and “res. Mute;" draco, delicious,“favor meet;” Charlotte, “noble,good repute;” Harriet,a line “odor sweet;” Isabella is a “lady rare;” Lucinda, “constant as the day;* Jdarie. means “a lady fair;” A Me al, “joyful” as a May; Elizabeth, “an oath of trust;” Adella, “idee princess,proud;** Agatha "is truly good and just;” Let.it la, “a joy avowed; ” Jemima, “a soft sound in the air;* Caroline, “a sweet, rj»> It hale;” Cornelia,“harmoniousand fair;” Selina, “a sweet nightingale;” Lydia, “a refreshing well;” Judith, “a song of sue rod praise;” Julia, “a Jewel none exeel;” Priscilla,“ancient of days.” A EAT MAN'S AMIHTION. Jd.I.n Craig AY.-iglta 015 l*imnd- anil la Anxious to Ail.I 35 lu It, Some men travel on their nerve, some on their sha|ie. John Harmon Craig travels on his size, nays the Kansas City Mar. Before his recent visit to wonderland, in this city, John hml traveled more than 4(10,(1(10 miles. It is a long journey, but John lias much size. The floor over which John may choose to walk must he prepared to withstand a Strain of 915 pounds. Nevertheless he cats and sleeps regularly and conse¬ quently is healthy. Iiis ambition is to weigh 1,000 pounds, which would shatter the records of both historical and myth¬ ological heavy weights, lie thinks he will do it shortly, unless his anxiety to do so retards his growth. “ 11 lias been the law with people of ab¬ normal weight and size," said Mr. Craig during his recent exhibition here, “to be short livqd and subject to violent, attacks of illness. I am tiie only one who has en joyed throughout life perfect health. " (Taig has accumulatedseveftil fortunes mill lost two or thiee in an attempt to run a circus, lie yet possesses a bank account well proportioned to his own size. Besides lieing n fat man he Is a Knight of Pythias, Odd Fellow, and United Worknmn. Those who know him host say that he is also a regular bureau of charity. He was born in Iowa City, Iowa, and is 85 years old. At birth lie weighed 11 pounds. At 11 months he weighed 71 pounds, and at the age of 2 years In weighed 206 pounds. He was the biggest baby in the world for his age, and cap¬ tured the $1,000 cash prize offered by Bar- Burn in 1858. For the next two years he traveled in Europe. When he returned he weighed 300 pounds, and a year later he weighed 405 pounds. When 25 years old lie weighed 625 pounds. There is a Mrs. Craig and a Mr. Craig, Jr. Mrs. Craig is a blonde, 24 years of age, and weighs 117 pounds. They met for the first time In St. Joseph in 1884, wiien Craig was on exhibition there. It was a case of love at first sight for both, and in less than a week after the meeting matrimonial negotiations had ended suc¬ cessfully. They were married in Fort .ScolJ, Kan., two weeks later. Craig’s father weighed 117 pounds, his mother 125 pounds. lni|iiiix Water. Comparatively few persons have ever seen absolutely pure water. Even rain water, which is the nearest common ap¬ proximation to it, is far from reaching the absolute standard, arid though it is good for washing, not many persons would care to drink it. Spring water is popularly supposed to be pure, but it al¬ ways contains more or less earthy or sa¬ line substances. Indeed, the value of most springs is due to tills fact. The ocean itself is a huge spring, con¬ taining not only salt, but many other minerals in solution. Tlie Dead Sea is charged with such elements almost to saturation. Only distilled water is pure. By distillation sea water itself is ren¬ dered drinkable, though not pleasant. As sand consists largely of silex, which water at the ordinary temperature does not dissolve, the water of a sandy region is eoinpartively pure. The “hard "witter of other regions is duo to earthy matter held in solution. This earthy matter, however, is seldom harmful to those who drink it. Impure Water, in the medical sense of the word, is water that contains in¬ fectious microbes. Water, as such, never contains these; nor does any form of simple impurity ever give rise to them, though it may greatly facilitate tlieir multiplication. Every case of infectious disease implies a previous case, aud when water is in¬ fected it is because infected secretions have in some way entered it, having been carried thrown ujion the^ well ground and thence to tho or spring, or river which supplies the family or community. It should be remembered that tho deeper the well the larger the area from which the rainwater finds Its way into it. No discharges or other secretions from the room of a sick person should bo thrown on the ground or buried in it, within at least 100 feet of the well. But water which is drank is not tho only source of danger. Many a wide¬ spread anil fatal epidemic has been traced to milk from dairies where t.ho pans had been washed iu impure water, or tlie milk itself adulterated with it. ItKV.v AIOIjS NOTES. Ur. Talmage's now' tabernacle in Brook- lyu will hold twice as many persons as tlie old tabernacle. The German Reformed Church in the United States reports 1,556congregations and 203,892 members. After long opposition on the part of I ho vestry, the electric light has finally been introduced into old Trinity Church at New York. The Universities’ mission in Central Africa, which now has 2,000 adherents, is rejoicing in the ordination of its first native priest. It is reported that the attitude of the Vatican toward the Italian government has improved since the downfall of the Crispi ministry. Rev, Dr. Habato Morais celebrated at his home in Philadelphia recently the completion of 40 years of ministerial serv¬ ice wit li the orthodox Portuguese Congre¬ gation Mick we Israel, A foreign missionary journal says: “ In Africa the number of missionaries ex- coeds 500, and the number of converts 400,000, increasing by about 25,000 a year. During the past'five years Africa lias fur¬ nished more than 200 martyrs. A new Anglican cathedral has been consecrated in Melbourne, Australia. A Congregational paper says that its com¬ pletion is a matter of congratulation “not alone to the members of the Anglican Church, hut to all citizens of Melbourne. ami indeed to the whole colony. ” By the will of the late Oliver Hoyt, of Stamford, Conn., nearly $100,000 is left to benevolent societies. The Methodist Missionary Society receives $20,060, Wes¬ leyan University, $25,000; Cornell Col¬ lege of Iowa, 10,000; New York East Con¬ ference, $5,000, and the American Bible Society, $10,000, The entire clergy of Dalmatia have pe¬ titioned the pope to permit all the Slav¬ onic priests of the- Balkans to celebrate mass in their native language. The peti¬ tion .sets forth that the Slavonic people, on account of their antipathy to the mass iu the Latin language, go over to the Creek orthodox churches. The next event of international impor¬ tance in the Christian Endeavor move¬ ment will lie the annual convention at Minneapolis, July 9th to 12th. A hall that seats 10,000 has been provided, and the ablest speakers from all denomina¬ tions will he heard. Reduced rates on all railroads and at hotels will be provided. The Louisiana Conference of the Meth¬ odist Episcopal Church South reports 231 church edifices, valued at $430,000, and 58 parsonages, valued at $50,114. They also report 90 local preachers, with 20,025 white aud 8 colored members; 210 Sun¬ day schools, with 1,299 teachers and 8,499 scholars. The amount raised for missions was $0,642. An English Methodist paper says that the most brilliant commemoration of the centenary of John Wesley’s death was held at old >St. Giles Church in Edin¬ burg. There gathered in that cathedral, seven centuries old, the representatives of the historic Presbyterian churches, of the town council, and the venerable univer¬ sity, in testimony of the benefit which the Evangelical revival has conferred ou the nation. Thera is probably no ecclesiastical or¬ ganization in America that lias grown as rapidly as has the Missouri Synod of the Lutheran Church. .Begun less than 40 years ago in Perry county, Mo., by a few German pastors who bad left Saxony for conscience sake, it now has spread, from ocean to ocean and from Canada, to Mex¬ ico. According to the statistical year book just published, the synod now num¬ bers 1,140 pastors, 1,631 organized con¬ gregations, 548 mission points, 305,350 confirmed and communicant members. It is said that the Catholics of Brazil have been very much opposed to the pro¬ vision of the constitution of the republic which deprives priests and employees of the church of the right to vote, and also debars priests from becoming members of Congress. It is understood that the reason this provision was inserted was that the officers of the church really held their allegiance to their spiritual supe¬ riors as stronger than their allegiance to the State, and, therefore, are not such true citizens of the republic as would en¬ title them to a voice in its government. This provision, however, has been some¬ what modified. It may not be generally known, notes the Congre.gationalist, that the Ameri¬ can committee on the revision of thebihle still keeps up its organization aud holds occasional meetings. By the terms of agreement with the English university presses the committee can not issue an authorized American edition of the re¬ vised bilile till 14 years after the publica¬ tion of tlie English edition. But 10 years have already passed, and tlie New Testa¬ ment Company can easily finish its prep¬ aration for an American edition before 1895. It is proposed to incorporate the American appendix Into tlie text, to fur¬ nish chapter headings taken from the words of the text, and the references to quotations from tlie old testament in the new. Perhaps also the committee will select parallel passages and make sugges¬ tions of other changes for future use. Even the most conceited of men may be pardoned his good opinion of himself if he remembers what ids mother and the neighbors said about hkn when ho was a baby.—[Somerville Journal. The great Albonl, the contralto, is still living in Paris, well to do, comfortable, and happy. You can’t tell for oertaln what a man will to till he does it-—{Atchison Globa* One Dou.ab a Year. NO 39. THE OTHER WAY. “Of poets Horace leads them all." “Nay, Virgil is the best." Thus Jones aud Brown would fight though t hey Agreed in all the rest. Said Jones, "Now. let us he at peace, I’ll read your Virgil thro’.” “And 1 as much, ” was Brown’s reply, “Will for your Horace do." “Kre T commence 1 must repeat That Virgil all hands leads. ” "And l insist all poets else ’ My Horace far excesds." * Each read the other's poet deep, From close to fountain head; And when they met again thus Jones Unto Brown thoughtful said: “1 now agree with what you claimed; There's none like Virgil fair." “Except," was Brown’ reply, "there’s none Can beat great Horace there." And so reversed their former tastes, They argue, fight., and roar Full leu times worse,if such could be, Thau e’er they did before. Untimely Mil'll,. Uncle Marcus l’arrish was a staid old gentleman, regarded as a model of good sense aud decorum by the whole com munity. On one occasion, howevei his conduct was most unseemly. A carriage had been sent to fetch him and his wit to the funeral of their cousin James. Just before leaving the house Uncle Marne rushed down cellar to look after the fur¬ nace, having donned, according to habit, an old straw bat. After seeing that every - thing was right he hurried back, locked bis front door, aud entered the carriage without a thought of exchanging His head gear for the new silk hat on the hall stand. Mrs. Parrish, who was deeply affected by the death of her relative, was in tears nearly ail the way, and failed to notice Uncle Marcus’s mistake. Not until the usher was gingerlj' bear¬ ing away the grimy old hat, with tlie ashes still lingering on its brim, did Uncle Marcus know what he had done. With something between a groan and a laugh, he followed his still unobserving wife into the mourners’ parlor. In spite of his efforts to control him¬ self, his mouth twitched and his eyes sparkled with merriment. With a look half of curiosity, half of shame, his wife saiil: “ For pity’s sake, Mark, what ails you ?” “Nothing, Eliza, nothing. I—I was merely thinking,” said he, “what if poor James was alive,” and that thought sent him iuto a worse laugh than ever. As soon as he had quieted down a little his wife said: “Everybody is looking at you, Mark, and 1 don’t wonder. I should think you were at a sociable,” and Mrs. Marcus took to weeping to hide her shame. By this time Uncle Marcus was in a nervous, half hysterical condition, and could not control himself. The service lagan, but not once could he forget the absurdity of his mistake. Whenever he looked out through the open door into t he hall, he fancied the usher was eye¬ ing him. If he looked at the coffin of his cousin to steady himself, the knowl¬ edge of what a joke James himself would think it was sure to make him laugh. The eating of troches which his wife handed him served only to make Ins agony more intense. He coughed, Mew his nose, pinched his wrists, bit his lips, but in vain. He could only keep him¬ self from making violent outbursts. At. last the minister finished his words of eulogy, and with a hasty whisper that he must go home—did not feel equal to a ride to the cemetery—Uncle Marcus left ids wife to tlie care of his brother, seized the old hat which the usher brought him—no fear of its lielonging to any one else—and hurried home as fast as he could. Half an hour later his wife found him sitting before tlie mirror, the old straw hat in one hand, aud the new beaver in tlie other. “Well, Marcus Parrish, are you, or are you not, raving crazy?” was her greet¬ ing. “ L should have been, Eliza, if that funeral had lasted a minute longer. Sit down now, and I’ll confess what was the matter w ith me. ” - His confession had to be told to more than one person, and lie was forgiven by every one but his wife. She never could quite overlook the fact that he had laughed all through a funeral. Experiments with strawlx-rriesindicate that pollen hearing is an exhaustive proc¬ ess, and that larger yields of fruit, as a rule, may lie expected from those, varie¬ ties which produce pollen so sparingly that a small proportion of other varieties producing pollen abundantly must be planted with them in order to insure a full crop. A (l«n«t«u Buikn. A Nrwtty anecdote comes from BrusseS fllnstrating thegeneronsspirit of a banket of that city. The banker is fond of out¬ door exercise. As an exhibition of his skill in skating, he made his autograph on tlie ice in a very artistic marines Some gentlemen having admired tlie sig¬ nature, proceeded to write above it as follows: “On demand I premise to pay for the benefit of tiie poor the sum of 5,006 francs. ” They sawed out tlie block of ico, and, nnviug called a hack, proceeded to tho bank and carried the frozen note of hand —of foot, we mean—to the cashier’s counter. The cold temjierature happily prevented the melting away of the,- 1 "’ draft, and tho bauker having te pealed to, entered it to be paid.—tab Times.