Newspaper Page Text
SPRING PLACE JIMPLECUTE.
J. C. HEARTSELL, Ed. and Pub.
VOL XIII.
Only forty-three per cent, of the
arable laud iu Ansao-Huagary is cui
tivated.
'‘.’he number of muvervit students
compr.r -d with population is greatest
in Spain and Belgium.
The- late.; En dish importation iu
to; line of language is the expression,
■ ...
• ill. 1 sa> ! ami it now rivals , “Dan :
ye’ know?” in popularity among the
Anglomaniac:.
.Remarks the Chicago Record: A
contemporary calls attention to the
.net that at the oresent moment not
run- oi the Central American republics
is iu revolt- This seems to indicate
that Central America has run short of
« utipowdcr.
Tin- Hr. Louis H-tar Hayings notes
that the rush out of the Cherokee Strip
is not receiving as much newspaper
- notice as vhe rush into it, lint it is
' progressing steadily among those who
have found that they left- better pros
pacts at home.
Haven thousand members of .hr
Bl „ uish . . , vo.mite, v forces , nave s, rved
continuously and -.T.eiently for
periods of from twenty to thirty-three
years, and it is proposed t.o bestow a
, 1 ., ual ,, or , oadge , on them „ air long . ,ci
vice and good conduct.
Physicians who haw investigated
the causes of sickness it; Hie tower
grades of public schools sac that nine
tenths of it comes from siomacii
iron hies, and that it is the urn-ct re
suit of having children iu school from
7.AO in the morning until LJD in the
aiternoon aiternoo.i withoutcdvin without n i\ up,tin Dl-macb .n acli.iue* iuc
to get anything vo eat.
Doctor A. C. Beruays, of St. Louis,
is reported by the Star Buying.-: of that
city to have greatly interested Sur¬
geon-General Sternberg, of the War
Department, by a discovery that whan
a man is shot iu the abdomen shortly
after eating a hearty meal, the danger
is iuucli greater. But it is doubtful
whether the doctor has popularized
himself with tue rank and file of the
army, because the Surgeon-General
announces that the .principal lesson he
gathers from the information is that
soldiers should do all their fighting be¬
fore breakfast. .
Says the New York Independent:
“The train , robbers have of late bo
comeTso bold in their operations, not
restricting them, as in the past, to tho
far West, blit invading the hitherto
unmolested territory of the East, that
- xpress and railroad companies have,
in the through lines, provided- them¬
selves with burglar proof safes, which
are absolutely dynamite proof, and
train hands with-AVitfchester rifles and
repeating' revolvers.The summary
taking off of’a few more train robbers
will undoubtedly have an excellent ef
lect in preventing future-operations.”
Several prominent sportsmen of
Brazoria and Matagorda Counties,
Texas, are about to organize an asso¬
ciation for the protection of alligators
—an odd sort of game protection—
which they believe will bring a good
•financial return. • Hundreds of young
alligators are shot every month of the
warm season by people ,i who arc destr- , -
0,18 lo lal1 something and do not know
or care for the value of alligator skins
and teeth. There are now several alii
gator farms in Texas t^liich are rt
•gardfid as good investments^ for, be¬
sides devouring the carrion tjjat. makes
the water injurious to .stock, the alli¬
gators clear it- of the gars that are so.
-destructive to black bass and the iish
the Southerners call “trout. ”
-
, y lt is a mistake to suppose that Rus¬
sia possesses great facilities for big un¬
dertakings in Asia in the way of. free
convict libor. As a matter of fact, the
convict problem is not less difficult in
Siberia than in America, where, as has
been seen, there are constant revolts
against the employment of prison ]*
florin competition with free labor.
The introduction of convicts on to the
works of the Trans-Siberian Railway
led to complete disorganization and,
frequent scenes of violence. Neither
the Russian free laborers nor the - sol¬
diers would work along with them;
»nd although, we believe, about'a thou¬
sand convicts are still employed on the
works, they are rather a source oi.
trouble and anxiety than of profit to
the Government.
SPRING PLACE, MURRAY COUNTY, GA. SATURDAY. DECEMBER 2, 1893.
COLDEN ROD.
Opting is the morning of the year.
And summer is the noontide bright;
The autumn is the evening clear
That comes before the winter’s night.
And in the evening, everywhere
Along the roadside, up and down.
I see the golden torches dare
| Like lighted street lamps in the town.
I think the butterfly and bee.
From distant meadows coming baCc,
j Avo quite contented when they see
! These lamps along tlie horaew-ar ! track.
But those who stay too into get lost :
I For when the darkness fails about,
t Down every lighted street the frost
Will go and put the torches out!
! —-Trank Dempster Bhemnan.
A. SAVAGE SCHOLAR.
i
BY BESSIE G. HAKT.
„ E , EKAL
. years ago
j $ | p|L (wf ij l\ jl ijjAs’/ migratory wlii!c leading life of the
i a
district school
f ---- leae-her, fate laid
i , 11/ e °*. m v
-
Jjf , .
! > ors 1,1 l!
uuy sehooUiouse , .
-ll 1 among the
ton hills.
- It was a .A'./’
,, no..g.i ”’ 1 '1 .. u oiu -n
( t<
In Is, ,n gently sloping descent, melted
f® 1 * 1 .'’. 1 "* 0 th ® l'“ ”'b bt’ach ol ‘Del
Ontario and on the »1uer rose, crest
on crest as tar as the eye could see.
One building amne gladdened my eyes
- a large red barn a lour mile away
Before tlie school house lay the broad
meauows belonging to tho owner ol'the
while behind it a ...mgled thicket
; lf ,ms ilRS >» ul slender second-growth
trees almost . brushed the low root.
My scholars with one exception
were the usual assortment of .recklod
tanned, frowslv, bare-footed boys and
S 1 ™* " s,la >' 111 11 country school,
1,118 !,ot ’ lu was Hum
I ’’, L g ’ ,ln I 1
u boy. lor though iomtecn years old J 1
and scarcely Keeping Ins place m a
f la ® 8 ,°. 1 cll,1<h ' eu not more luu11
hall his age, he was yet. the quickest- ,
wittefl the most observing and the
hancaest boy 1 over knew. Add to
this that he was good-natured, truth
lul and fearless- and exceedingly
handsome the accusation oat “the
ieachor favored San, Sharp wasnot,
perhaps, entirely without foundation.
When Um,t came- to the little lul
rchoolhonse the chiloren entertained
mo with many gruesome talcs of the
wild animals which sometimes came
down from the North Woods, and were
apparently particularly partial to that
locality.
“Why,” said Sam Sharp, “right
hero, on this very spot, in the bushes
back of the sehooUiouse, they killed a
bear last year. Yon ought to have
seen liis claws; and there wasn’t «
thing iu his stomach ! If school had a
kept then likely ’nough he’d a made a
meal of some of us. Wouldn’t Minty
Smith n made him a good square one,
he’s so fat?”
Hero Minty set up a wail, “I won’t,
be et by a bear if L am fatthe other
children shouted with laughter, and
such a tumult prevailed I was obliged
to ring the bell and thus shorten the
noon intermission by ten minutes.
But I did not forget the bear, and
many were the uneasy glances I cast
toward the thicket behind my rustic
temple of learning. But no fiery-eyed,
red-tongued black head ever peered at
me from its green depths, and I for
got the bear in the still more blood
curdling tale of the panther told me
by no less an authority than the
tr, lf; ee ’
wo Years ago, „ , -e sail,
painter came down from the woods
commenced rampagm mong the am
mals. One night lie killed a calf of
mine and three days alter, two sheep
over on the turnpike, and none knows
Uo,v many othei critters he killed we
°-® ver heard of ! ior ho Wtts a11 over,
,ike bad weather. One night we heard
him oyer m Hemlock Lake swamp
f Y 1? ‘ Ilk e a ,:>ab c’ t5l ° next night my
boy Bill . . heard him the Peter
boro road ten mile oyer lrom on here, where
he'd been to a dance, and he was fln’Jy
shot by Mike Mullen not forty rod
from your sehooUiouse door.’
Then for several weeks 1 heard .
stealthy steps and felt a hot breath on
my neck, a half dozen times a£ least,
during my mile walk through the
thick September mists to the school
house. And, surely, those were the
thickest mists that ever wrapped any
hills, they blotted everything from my
eight but a short stretch of road be
fore roe,.: ..
■ The-lowing of voices cattle, of the people, neighing
of horses, the came
tome from them with the weirdness
. and unreality we feel when a dbg barks
at midnight.' And as, with ears
strained in listening and cold chills
traversing my spine, I walked the
lonely road, many queer fancies came
to me torn of my loneliness and fears,
•If. the panther should devour me,
wouljl my wraith haunt the road?
«Would mists, traveler*, be atarjled walking by through •'pale-faced the
a
woman' passing them with hurrying
steps, and shivering, backward looks?
And would 'she- wear frizzles, and
carry a tin dinner-pail ? As this or
some other ridiculous conclusion came
to me I would laugh; and in a revulsion
qf feeling come, out of the lifting
‘TELL THE TRUTH”
mists, iuto spicy odors amt merry
child-life
September mists gave way to bright
October—a veritable golden month—
the late frosts, which had delayed al
most to its beginning, glorified the
hillsides into such wonderful beauty,
i seemed to be living in a new world,
No monster had come from the thicket
—no dark form had bounded, with
child-like cry, from the mists.
October was almost gone, vacation
was only a month away, in the pleas
ant present, and anticipated future, 1
had forgotten my fears. One day.
shortly after the beginning of tho
afternoon session. 1 saw Sam Sharps
uplifted hand. As he never asked up
necessary questions I broke the rule
“No questions during recitations” ajjgd
asked. “\\ hat is it, Sam?” There was
something besides mischief in the
bright black eyes raised to mine, as he
saitl: “There is a new scholar in. the
sclioolhouse yard. He seems to be a
little bashful about coming in. He’s
eating his lunch now. Shall I go out
and ask him to come in when lie is
through V”
“Certainly, Sam,” I said, “go and
invite him in. We’ll try and make him
fed at home, and lie’ll .forget his bash
fulness when he finds we are all his
friends. ”
A look of amusement curiously
mingled with something else came over
Sam s face as he walked out of the
school-room, into the entry, carefully
closing the door behind him. The
moment. 1 heard the outside door close,
and the key turn in the lock.
Before 1 could wonder at Sam’s
strange conduct, he came in and beck
oning t o me said in a low voice,
“Come and see the new scholar.” 1
wont to the window, and looking out
in the yard, saw an cuormons black
bear walking around, picking up the
..rusts of bread and cake the children
had thrown from their dinner-pails at
u „„ n !
\ mist passed before my eyes—the
black form looked as large as an ele
and multiplied before me until
,he yard seemed full of bears.
“What shall we do, Sam?” I gasped,
grasping his rough boyish hand in mine,
“Close the shutters as quick as we
can,” ho whispered, and in a moment,
almost, we had fastened tho heavy
wooden, inside blinds, and thick dark
,,ess shut, out tho faces of the wonder
jag children. Then I said in alow
, voice, “Children don’t move or stir
there’s a bear in the yard. ”
; The children only too well
i their danger and save a soft rustle as
some little one crept nearer an older
brother or sister no sound broke the
stillness except Sam’s stop as he stole
^ into tho tiny woodshed and fastened
the back door with its heavy bar.
j Then he mounted guard at the front
j door, where, through a chink, lie
j ! could boar, watch the movements of the
An hour passed thus. Every BIO
j meu t tho feeling of horror grew more
unbearable.
Once Sam came in to say the bear
was still roaming around.' but had
made no movement toward the School
house.
Another uneasy half hour passed and
as I sat revolving a hundred wild plans
for our deliverance Sam again crept
softly to my side,
“He is getting restless,” ho whis
pem t, “and I’m afraid if he comes
nearer He’ll find out we are here, and
you know the lower panel of the door
i 8 cracked tind it won’t stand much
pushing, so I’m going to slip out the
back door and go through the bushes
and get help. ”
“Oh, Sam !” I gasped, “don’t; he’ll
hear you and then—” I paused, sliud
during at the thought.
“No, he won’t,' said Sam resolutely,
“the bushes will hide me; and see
here,” thrusting something cold iu my
hand, “there is my pistol. I’ve ear
ried it m my pocket all tho term, with
out you knowing it, If he tries to get
m—he can’t anywhere except in front
—fire this right in liis face. ’Taint
likely you’d kill him unless you hap
pemod to hit him in the eye, but you
might frighten him off. It ain’t more
> n half a mile cross lots to Mike Mul
l cn ’ B> and I’ll be back with l.im and a
gan l esK ’ n no time. ”
“Oh, Saml’M shuddered, “I can’t
fire a pistol! I don’t know which end
g oes 0 ff!”
Was there a shade of contempt in
Sam’s voice as he showed me which
-was the business end of the pistol, and
told me how to hold it? If there was
[ -was too cowed to resent it.
With many prayers for his safety, I
let the brave boy out of the back door, I
and barred it behind him, then sat
down to mv weary waiting. Suddenly
I heard a loud snuffing at the front
door, making then heavy steps, and low growls
a circuit of the sshoolhonse,
then a “thump” on the front door
that made it crack, and the growls
grew louder and angrier,
A time of terror followed—the bear
ran round and round the house, shak
ing the doors, dashing his great paws
through the windows, whose heavy
inside shutters held fast, and roaring
with the pain of tho cuts the broken
glass gave him.
At last the sagacious brute seemed
to realize that the only weak spot in
0 tir defense was the front door, and
concentrated all his fury there,
All this time the brave children had
ma de no sound. As forme—though I
knew that unless help came quickly I
or some of my little charge must sure
Iv perish —L was never calmer iu mv
life.
Without emotion I thought of my
distant home—i saw the golden
trusted hop vines—the grape vines
swing in the woods—the maple trees
before the house —theJune roses in the
fence, corner—i wondered what my
sisters Were doing, ami T wondered ii
my mother sat in the Boston rocket
knitting.
I felt a vague regret that I had not
mended the tear in mv dress that
morning instead of reading a novel
until the last moment,
Some of my Sunday-school lesson!
came of to tho my mind—among them tin
story bears that devoured the
mocking Jewish children. But my
dear little children were not mocking,
nor was I such a very- wicked girl if i
did read novels instead of mending my
clotlics and sometimes went to sleep iu
church.
And then a flood of self-pity came
over me, and hot tears rained silentlv
down my cheeks. Then “split, crash,”
the rotten panel had' broken. I flew
to the entry door—the bear’s hideous
head was in the hole, and he was try
ing to crowd his body through. A
feeling of despair came over me, then
a sudden anger—should I quietly sub
mit to a terrible death for myself, or
little ones in my care?
Desperate rage overwhelmed all
other feeling, and grasping the pistol
1 rushed into the entry. Just then
another piece of the door flew off with
a hard crack, and the bear roared with
almost human triumph.
Until now perfect quiet had reigned
inside, but one child, frantic with r*
pressed emotion, shrieked wildly. A
wave of fear swept through the school
room, and the children ran around
screaming frantically, begging their
parents, their friends, mo to save thorn,
How did Sam say the pistol went? I
grew frantic with anger, all feeling l.nt
an intense thirst for the blood of the
horrible brute went from me, and wild
with rage I dashed the pistol in his
face. It struck him on the nose and
went off. Startled by the report and
flash the beast recoiled and frantically
pawed bin burned nose
I flew back into tho schoolroom,
seized the heavy poker, and fWtli all
my strength brought it down on lib
great black head, springing back just
in time to avoid theclueh of his claws
which tore a great piece from my dress,
Then I heard the sound of voices, tho
barking of a dog, and three shots were
fired in quick succession,
With a roar of dying rage, the bear
plunged forward and bringing the dooi
with him, fell full length in the little
entry—dead. Faint with joy T leaned
against the wall. With a roguish
twinkle in his black eyes Sam came to
me and said, “Well, teacher, how did
you like that scholar? I think we
gave him a warm reception and made
him feel at home, don’t you?”
Mike Mullens, who shot the bear,
complimented me highly on my
courage, and said I was a genewino
herowine, and would a killed tho bear
sure had I only lmd tho weapins and
known how to use them,” which was
doubtless true.
But surely of all the strange scholars
that ever appeared to a country school
ma’am, the strangest came to me that
day in the little sclioolhouse among
the Boylston hills. —Detroit Free Press.
A Remarkable Achievement,
The northwest mounted police oi
Canada began their record and scored
from the outset. With two field-guns
and two mortars, and relying on their
own transport train for supplies, they
marched 800 miles westward through
an unknown country inhabited by 30,
000 Indians and a few score white des
peradoes, till the Rocky Mountains were
in sight. Leaving Colonel Macleod,
the Assistant Commissioner, to build a
fort jn the very heart of tho country
of the terrible Blackfeet, where no
white man’s life was then safe and
sending another detachment north to
Edmonton among the Assiniboines and
Wood Crees, the main column turned
back. They crossed tho plains north
ward by wav of Q.i’Anpelle to Fort
jv-lly but findina their intended retimed head
quarters were not ready they
to Duffer in. The thermometer, which
had stood at 100 degrees F. in the
shade when they marched out, marked
thirty degrees F. below zero on their
return. In four months, to a day,
they traved 1959 miles besides the
distances covered by detachments on
special service. Once beyond the
rich prairies of Manitoba, hard work
in the gravel, drifts of the Missouri
Coteau and among the broken gullies
of Wood Mountain and the Cypress
Hills told heavily on their animals,
Many good horses lived through want
of water and food in the arid plains
where cactus and sage-brush are tho
only vegetation round the alkaline'
lakes, to dieafrom the effects of uu
accustomed forage, or from the bitter
cold that cam© on early in the autumn,
though officers and men gave up then'
blankets to shelter their charges. But
the three hundred police accomplished,
without losiuga.life. wliat had seemed
work for an nrmy-the taking. posses
sion of the Great Lone Land.—Serib
ner’s.
A Georgia Confederate veteran bears
the marks of twenty-six wounds re'
ceived during the war.
SI.OO a Year in Advance,
WORDS OP WISDOM.
A good dinner is a benediction.
A fat pocketbook is a great tonic.
rr lhe , last . , indulgence . , , spoils the , hrst. „
Sugar-coated lies are easily swal
lowed,
Meanness leads to villainy with fatal
attraction.
It. is the bird with fine feathers that
gets plucked. *
A half-dozen hearty laughs are equal
lo a, meal of victuals.
We love the homely flower that fills
the air with fragrance.
The sober second thought of the
people is seldom wrong.
Hope and energy and sunshine never
thrive on a torpid liver.
Every temptation is great or small
according as the man is.
in all human action those faculties
will bo strong which are used.
\\ hen you make a feast for swine
y m must provide troughs for them.
The man who gives much to tho
poor doesn’t leave much for thieves to
steal.
Heredity is announced in the curve
of an eyelash or the texture of a thi
ger-uail.
Ours and sycophants partake of their
masters’ antipathies and follow up
their disputes.
There is another sentence than that
pronounced by the judge which falls
upon the conscience of the accused.
Flowers of the Night,
As we till know,there are day bloom¬
ing and night blooming flowers. The
former lay themselves out for the fer¬
tilizing visits of bees and butterflies;
they are generally decked in red,blue,
yellow or purple, and have often lines,
spots or markings on their petals
which point to the nectaries and so
act as flowers, honey guides. The night bloom¬
ing on the other hand, lay
themselves out for the visits of moths
or other crepuscular insects,and there¬
fore have recourse to something like
the tactics of the fireflies and the glow¬
worms. They are usually pure white
and the petals are often of such a pe¬
culiar texture that they seem to glow
with internal light in the dim shades
of evening. At times one might al¬
most fancy they were stained by na¬
ture with some curious forerunner of
luminous paint, so strongly do they
reflect every invisible ray of the faint
twilight. They thus succeed in catch
ing the eyes of moths, which, of
ceiving course, are specially modified for re
and perceiving the slender
stimulus of dusk and the gloaming.
But tho nocturnal flowers have no
lines or spots, because these last could
never be perceived in the gray gloom
of the evening. They make up for it,
however, by being heavily scented;
indeed almost all the strong white
flowers, like jasamine, tuberose, gar¬
denia, stephanotis, cereus and syringa,
which are such favorites with florists,
belong to night blossoming plants,
specially adapted to attract the eyes
and noses of night flying insects. Per¬
haps that may be why tho gilded
so specially affects these'lus¬
cious white exotics. I may add, in
passing, that not a few nocturnal ani¬
mals are also provided with similar al¬
lurements for their roaming mates in
the shape of musky or other powerful
perfumes. —Oornhill Magazine.
Saved the <{iieen.
Touching tho famous equestrian,
Andrew Ducrow, so long the lessee of
Astley’s, and who was the original
Courier of St. Peterlmrg, who rode
six bare-backed horses at once, there
is a curious story, for the authenticity
of which I cannot vouch, but which i
tell as it was told to me more than
fifty years ago. Ducrow, so runs the
tale, was riding in Hyde Park one
morning at the same time as the youth¬
ful Queen Victoria, about two months
before her coronation, was takin ■g
equestrian exercise. The Queen’s
horse bolted, and the equerries and
■grooms failed to stop the terrified ani¬
mal.
Ducrow leaped from his saddle,
seized the horse’s bridle, at the same
time patting the horse’s neck and talk¬
ing to it in that peculiar soothing
tone of his which gave him an almost
magical mastery over the brute crca
Hon. The horse remained quite quiet,
but trembling violently, while Her
Majesty was assisted to alight, and
, . -
___ . _ Buck- „
• t LY' 1 < airlft S°
row ., s only , remark when
*
, ° } ■ , \ httt th lady who
, ‘ tu lor dlstr , ! ® ss wus tdle L ,u
c- of . Engird , was simply, Lawks
° iy dnln t her blessed
WJAAI °w A ' ° ^ / A 8ses?
", et ( ,vS 11 ‘ L ‘ 1 'J va ! d l^n ° was as
, ■ , to
‘ • *■ °t> Buckmgbam S < Palace splen- re '
a
dld brea8t P“ representing him as a
At j U U etersbai 'S
; n “A’ i 11 .'ir lan8 HU !, r ? 1 ,ne ®» whfle
■ ,
T th ° L ° rd ? h * m '
.tcVets ? Ie a R IVe d
B 0 .1 tester Abbey ., for - Mr.
a n “ d ^ Ducrow Tl witness the pa
f an of tllli eoronation.-Sala’a Jour
a '
Cowper loved pets, and had at one
time five rabbits, three hares, two
guinea pigs, a magpie, a jay, a star¬
ling, two canary birds, two dogs, a
“retired cat” and a squirrel.
NO. 40.
LEAN1N’ ON THE FENCER
Leanin’ on the fence,
Chattin’ with a neighbor,
"ivin’.rein to sense
On the rights o’ labor:
Swappin’ off ol’ jokes, ^
Airin’ what is in us, ,
Rippin’ up the folks
That we think agin 113.
Often it gits hot.
Things are said that rile us,
Then, as like as not,
Temper’s apt to spile us
But there’s no alarm,
For a guard to screen U 3
from the touch-o’, harm
is the fence a tween us.
Thin kin’ over votes
And the whims o’ thinkers,
P’inting out tho motes
In a neighbor’s blinkers ;
Loanin' on tho fence.
That is life, my brother,
-.Chunks o’ common sense
Tradin' with each other.
—Donahue’s Magazine.
PITH AND POINT.
Man wants but little here below.
But he always wants that little more
than lie’s got.—Puck.
‘ ‘How strangely Putter acts! Isn’t
he a little off?” “No, but the market
is.’’—Boston Transcript.
“Train robbers are after big game
out West.” “Yes; they’re tacklin’ the
porters now.”—Atlanta Constitution.
It is only fair that when a patient
has faith in a doctor, the doctor should
trust the patient. —Philadelphia Rec¬
ord.
“The early bird catches the worm
therefore, tho wise worm will take
another nan, and cultivate habits oi
laziness. —Puck.
“My stars !” ejaculated Bridget, as
the third policeman of the evening
came softly in at the kitchen door. —
Chicago Tribune.
Professor Potterby—“The body of
the frog, gentlemen, is composed al¬
most wholly of water.” Freshleigh—
‘ ‘Spring water ?”—Indianapolis J our
nal.
He— ‘ ‘Of course, my prospects art
not the brightest. We will have a
great deal to contend against, ” She—
“Dearest, we will have each other!’
—Vogue.
Mrs. Pruner—“Have you got ac
quainted in tho church yet?” Mra '
Prim—“Yes, indeed I I already be
long to one of the oldest factions in
it.”—Plain Dealer,
Base Deceiver: Stillingfleet— ‘ ‘How
could you conscientiously tell Miss El¬
der that she is the only woman you
ever loved?” Tillingkast—“It is a
fact. Tho others were all young
girls.”—Vogue.
Jennie—“You are not married yet?*"
Fannie—“No, but I’m going to be.
The young man who has been visiting
me has been making inquiries behind
my back if I knew how to cook.
Tammany Times.
Briggs—“What is the matter with
you? I never before saw you looking
so rocky.” Braggs—“I feel rocky. J
have been down in Kentucky for a
week drinking limestone water. ” —In¬
dianapolis Journal.
Reginald—“Rosie, how do you lik«
the architecture of my new trousers?”
Reginald’s Sister (inspecting the gar¬
ment)—“I’m not a good judge of their
architecture, Reggie, but their acoustic
properties are simply magnificent!”—
Chicago Tribune.
“So you have got a wife,” said
Chaffer to a newly married man. “1
don’t know—I don’t know,” replied
the man, with evident hesitation.
‘ ‘Sometimes I think I’ve got her, and
sometimes I think she’s got me. You
see, I’ve only been married a few
months, and I can’t tell just yet how
the combination is ^toing to turn out."
-Tit-Bits.
I Wouldn’t be a boomer
And with tho boomers stand
In lino for sixty hours
While And grimy All my lungs with sand \
From perspiration
. every pore would drip.,
For the choicest quarter section
In-all the Injun strip.
—Kansas City Journal,
A Remarkable Lite History^
Herman Kreismann, of Berlin, Ger¬
many, is a remarkable man. He is now
President of tho famous tramway cor¬
poration of that city, tho biggest in¬
stitution of its kind in Europe, carry¬
ing as it does 170,000,000 people a
year. When an infant his parents,
who were not well-to-do, brought him
to this country and settled in Chicago,
His father was a mechanic and brought
his son up well, lie got a good edu¬
ction and studied for the Bar, to
which he was finally admitted. For
hree years he was city clerk of Chi¬
cago, and in 1861 he was made Secre
i ry of the American Legation at Ber¬
lin. From this position President U.
\ Grant promoted him to the consul¬
ship at Berlin and shortly, afterward
> the Consul Generalship of that city.
The strangest part of Mr. Kreismann’s
areer is that he still retains his citi¬
zenship of the United States after an
absence of thirty-two years, although
on several occasions lie was asked to
recover his German naturalization in
order to be elected to the Reichstag,
—Pittsburg Times.