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AL HEARS THE STORY OF KHAKI’S MAGIC SPELL BY OUR OWN RING W. LARDNER mh ’PRNATEJIM’ % Well they get down hear in his runabout in the a.m. and he says hello Jim out of one corner of his mouth -where a butt was hanging out of the other one in an easy way. Os coarse he was in civilyun close Al not being draftit because he says lies fizically unfit some line hay Al with that big stiff stronger than you and me both. But I guest he aint quite so strong with Aggie as when he startit out yestidy a.m. in that runabout car. it is sum story Al I wish I could give it to you all just as it happint. Well when he says hello jim Aggie never says nothing and I could of swore there was teers in her eyes and they is some eyes you know that Al. She just stood their and lookt at me not so much at me as at my unifform which is better than some of these dubs wear because you know me Al how it is when I put close on they look different than when other guys put them on. well Al she just lookt at me and I lookt at her and finely I says Hello Ag earless like as if wed just met on the street car or something but not as if wed been away from one another for three weeks and this big stiff Slacker there every nite if -what her sister says is on the levul. She lookt at me so hard I thot their was somethin wrong with my unifform so I stood at atten shun and lookt like we look at inspeckshun when we feel as if we have got the guy next to usses close on. then she jumped outta that runabout and left Slacker cold and hollers FELLERS feut Uk<? this K X WHeMheWAS J IdocuUATg'P Fort- yXX / g? \ I (\l '■ \\ / '//' ‘f < \ I / 7/ * ** —* J'_ \\ / Z zx \ J ,f <My v 'll \Z'K ZwyswPx / > J - /\ ' CMAPiM U. S, Building Big Depot “Somewhere in France” “Somewhere in France” Uncle Sam is constructing a most extensive ordnance and depot of issue and re- Well Al here it is a Monday and we are back in the trenchus agen. Not reglar trenchus Al their aint reglar trenchus hear eggzept what the plum bers make in the streets but in the trenchus of des ponduncy as you mite say on Monday morning when the Sunday wimmen have all took back there teer stayned hankercheeves to the city. I told you Al about how Aggie was gonna come out here but with that big stiff Bill Slacker that has a car and a big job with a lotta money comiu to him every month more than thirty bux tjiat we are drawing. Well Al when I herd Aggie was gonna drive hear with that big stiff I was never as sorry that the riffles havent been ishewed with bullits and everything. That big goof having the nerve to drive down hear with Aggie and me away. Some crust hay Al. sence ive ben in camp Aggies sister has ben writeing me of how he hangs around and takes Aggie out to spend money on her which he has got more of than I have with only thirty bux per. Well I guest sence what hapend yestidy their wont be so much money going out on Aggie from him. You know me A). pair at a cost of $100,000,000. It ;will be stocked with billions of rounds ■of ammunition, shells, shrapnel, high explosives, bombs and ordnance .'of every description. TRENCH AND CAMP back to him 11l see you later Bill and left him smoking a butt and there was a look in his eyes that wm bad even if he isnt draftit to site the kaiser I think he could of faut me then and their Al. well he tries to start his car but somethin in the magnesia or somethin was all rong Al and we stood their I and Aggie did I mean while he Jumpt out and cussed at that macheen somethin awful for wimmen to here. I says Mister Slacker dont seem to be in very good hnmmor Aggie what is their rong do you think. Well Al she laffed and said I dont know Jim mebbe he dont like your unifform or somethin and the car has beggun to feel the .vzim way. are you gonna show me the camp Jim. She leened on my inn saying this to me and Al I dont blame any magnesia for going rong in a car after what that big stiff Slacker says when he heard what Aggie says to me asking would I show her the camp. well Al I pretendut I was bizy this a.m. and dident know for sure xlwt whether I-could show her the camp which was a stall Al for their was nothin on for me that a.m. eggzept to report for mess. Get Mister Slacker to show you around heal probly know a good deal about this place and he has his ear with him. Well Al she just lookt up at me and I couid of pulled sum necking then and their if it hadent ben for that boob Slacker that brut her down and was cussen at his magnesia or somethin awful. i and Aggie kept our eyes on nothing but that car for about 5 runite and finely I says Aggie 111 be glad to show you sum of the camp but I hardly think it is fare to Mister Slacker. Well Al she was hurt I could see that and looks up to me agen with that buy me a new hat plees way cf Lers and. saya Just two words which was enough Oh Jim. well Al it was all off that stall about barring somcthiiag on e© we i*xEit the day together I and her looking at the camp but not aWagether- cl Ltue camp as their is a lot of trees hear to show wimmen. 1 and Aggie lookt at quite a bit of both that afternoon and as we was coming in to the camp again I could of died with supprise. Their was that big boob Slacker in his car ahead of us in the rode and he was under it .qgm and we could here the cussin from where we was standing I and Aggie couM. well Al she says Jim I dont care when I get back to the city there ere tranes or trolleys running sure and I says of coarse it will be pcmfble to reach the city in sum way diffrunt than you came out by. VZe says Hello Bill when we gets up to where his car was on top of him aad he never Lookt out from under only cusst somethin awful! which Aggie was ust to Ury now and dident say nothin. well Al she is back to the city now on the same desk I suppose but I and her have talkt things pretty solid and by now I guess that big boob Slacker is wishing he never horned in on no sold gers game hay AL Thirty per isent so bad Al when you get your horde and room and sum other things for nothin You know me your old pal PRIVATE JIM* « , More than 1,000 miles of railway is to be constructed, leading from the arsenal to the sector of the west ern front assigned to the American forces. H’gh Class Shows Will Be Staged At Every Camp The truth of the old saying, ““All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” has been kept well in mind by Uncle Sam in establishing the thirty two army cantonments throughout the country. The big brown tents of the Redpath Activities Commission are now being put up in the different camps and up to the minute programs will be given nightly far the army men. The object of the Kedpsth Ac'lfvi tiea is to furnish clean, wholeso-me entertainment at movie prices.- The entire project will be run on a <cost basis with no profit to any one. Ac counts will be audited by the Fosdick Commission of the War Department on Training Camp activities and all money above actual expenses turned over to the camp. The present plan is to change the bill weekly and semi-weekly depend ing on the nature of the attractions. The programs will be given in vaude ville form; three or four different at tractions appearing each night. Live ly comedy will predominate at all times in all of the acts. The boys want fun and the Redpath tent is go ing to be full of it. A wide variety will be given—music, both vocal and instrumental; light opera, orchestra and band concerts; cartoonists; make-up artists; comedy sketches; plays, and In fact high-class produc tions of every character, with cos tumes and scenic and lighting effects as good as to be found in th® metro politan theatres. The shows are . already in full swing in Camp Grant, Rockford, Illi nois; Camp Custer, Battle Creek, Michigan, and Camp Sheridan, Chilli cothe, Ohio, where the big crowds and hearty applause each night show that the boys are getting what they want. Some of the attractions al ready presented have been the White Hussars, a singing band; the Fair child Sisters, a vocal and instrument al quartet; the Killarney Girls, a sextet in songs and stories; Reno, magician; Ratto, wig and grease paint man; and a complete produc tion of Gilbert and Sullivan’s light opera, “The Mikado.” Harry P. Harrison, manager of the Redpath Bureau, Chicago, and Chair man of the Redpath Activities Com mission, says: “The War Commission is to b_ congratulated on availing themselves of this tremendous force. Every father’s and mother’s heart will be lightened at the th& „ht that the War Department is providing in the camps the influence of the Ameri can Chautauqua and V it their boys’ lives while away from home will be brightened by such wholesome enter tainment.” Page 9 • i ll r I! 11 C’awsasggsaa IH v \V Ur XU'! Ur V 11 M