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TO ONE WHO BIOj ME SING.
Non eadem eat setas, non n:ens.—-Horace.
You ask a “many winter'd bard”
Where hides his old vocation?
Accept—the answer in not hard—
A classic explanation.
“Immortal” though he be, he still,
Tithonous-like, grows older,
While she, his muse of Hindus hill,
Still bares a youthful shoulder.
Could that too sprightly nymph but leave
Her ageless grace and beauty,
They might, betwixt them both, achieve
A hymn de senectute.
But she—she can’t grow gray, and so
Her slave, whose hairs are falling,
Must e’en his Doric flute forego
And seek some graver calling—
Not ill content to stand aside,
To yield to minstrels fitter
His singing robes, his singing pride,
His fancies sweet and bitter.
—Austin Dobson in Temple Bar.
HE MET HIS MATCH.
Expert Testimony Comes High, but We
Have to Have It.
The scene was the private laboratory
of the greatest chemical analyst known
to science, J. Bigleg Bighead, M. D.,
F. R. S., P. D. Q., etc. There was a
timid rap on the door, and a dark fea
tured man entered, saluting with obse
quious grace and handing the great ex
pert a card, on which was the firm
name of “Baggem & Fleecem, Private
Detectives. ’ ’
The celebrated toxicologist glanced at
the card and motioned the visitor to a
seat. “Happy to make your acquaint
ance, sir. What can Ido for you?”
The swarthy browed visitor glanced
around to make sure that they were
alone, then drew forth from the folds of
his cloak a small bottle containing some
mysterious fluid.
“Sir,” he began in undertones, “this
bottle contains part of the contents of a
man’s stomach. The deceased died two
days ago under the most suspicious cir
cumstances, after having dined with a
very beautiful woman. I want expert
sworn testimony—an ironclad, all wool,
yard wide, no rebate, expert analysis.
What’s your price, sir?”
The great man held the bottle up to
the light, then pulled a string disclos
ing a scale of prices on the wall, which
the visitor read, as follows:
To find poison and swear to itsl,ooo
Not to find poison and swear to it 2,000
To find poison and swear I didn’t 4,000
Not to find poison and swear I dids,ooo
To “ball up” the jury with learned tech
nicalities, so that it won’t matter
whether I did or didn’t 1,500
To boomerang 400 yards of Latin at the
judge.‘ 1,000
To bring ten other great men to swear for
our side, each 1,000
To cite eminent authorities whichever
way you wish, per cite 250
To throw up enough scientific dust to be-
fog and muddle the judge, jury, prose- ■
cuting attorney and myself, per shovel
ful 250
Consultation, beginning with this one,
per minute 200
“Now, sir,” continued the great tox
icological expert, “on which side of the
fence are you? Are you employed in the
interest of the poisoner or the poisonee?’ ’
But the detective had finished the last
line of the scale of prices, and his hair
stood on end. Slowly he arose, looked
at his watch, saw that he had been
there 30 seconds, drew forth a roll and
counted out SIOO, pressing it into the
hand of the great expert. Then, with a
look of envy and admiration, he fled
just in time to save another hundred.—
San Francisco Argonaut.
She Didn't Notice.
Mr. Minks—Who is that pretty young
lady in the blue—
Mrs. Minks—Huh I Do you call her
pretty? Never saw such a—
Mr. Minks—Well, who is that young
lady in the blue— \
Mrs. Minks—Perhaps she’s a lady and
perhaps she isn’t. You men seem to
think every—
Mr. Minks—Who is that—er—chit in
the blue dress?
Mrs. Minks—l don’t know. I didn’t
notice.—New York Weekly.
ATHENS EVENING NEWS JUNE 19.1895
t.• : i ’ •* . 4 A 1 , 4
Robert Collyer’s ratner.
And now about my father, writes the
Rev. Robert Collyer, D. D., in The La
dies’ Home Journal. I think still he
was as good a smith as I have ever
known, a man who would forge no lie
in iron or steel, with soft, steadfast
brown eyes, strong and sinewy arms to
labor and never sick a day I can re
member, always at his work until he
fell dead that day with the hammer in
his hand. Blacksmiths, I think, are usu
ally silent men. The old Beechers were,
as I have heard, who were of this craft,
silent men who left the pent up speech to
their sons and grandsons. This Was my
father also. He was a silent man, while
both father and mother were as free
from contagions and infections as the
sound oaks are and the stars, so that the
microbes, when they came in the dread
ful form of fevers, found nothing in
them for prey.
Not Quite Right.
No man is a hero to his valet, and
perhaps no poet to his baker. He lives
in Putney, and almost every day he
walks a few miles to Wimbledon and
goes to a cakeshop there, where he buys
cakes to give to a little group of poor
children, who have learned to look for
ward to this frequent treat. Some one
who knew the poet by sight said to the
shopkeeper, “Do you know who this
gentleman who buys so many cakes of
you is?”
“Oh, he’s a poor gentleman who isn’t
quite right in his head. He’s always
buying cakes for the children.”—Chap
Book.
Agujardi’s Voice.
Agujari, better known as La Bas
tardella, had an incredibly high range
of voice. Mozart heard her in 1770 and
expressed the greatest delight. She sang
B in altissimo with perfect ease and
performed cadenzas deemed impossible
for the human voice. During a great
part of her professional career she re
ceived about SSOO a night, a sum then
equal to about $2,500 in the money of
our time.
Cinnamon.
Cinnamon is the bark of a tree which
is native to Ceylon, south India and
many of the East India islands. During
the middle ages it was highly esteemed
as a medicine, and one instance is on
record of a pound of it being sold in
Spain A. D. 856 for a sum nearly equiv
alent to sl3 6of our money. It was be
lieved to have the property of keeping
away devils.
Heathen and Heathen.
>
Home Heathen—Tell me, now, what
is the greatest difficulty that your for
eign missionaries have to contend with?
Foreign Missionary—Keeping our con
verts from learning that we have so
many heathen in the home churches.—
New York Tribune.
The highest temperature ever known
in London was recorded July 15, 1881,
95.5 degrees; at Paris, 104, on Aug. 26,
1765; at Adelaide, Australia, January,
1841, 114; at Mourzuk, India, July 10,
1872, 133.
The Housatonic in Connecticut was
called by the Indians Wussiadenex, the
“stream beyond the mountains. ” r
Bulgaria was formerly Volgaria, so
called from the Volsci who inhabited it.
Castle* In the Air. f
“Castles in the air,” to indicate
dreaming projects, is an expression
which first occurs in the writings of
Sidney. It is believed, however, to be
much older than his time. In the form
“cattles in Spain” it is found in the
French literature, while the Latins had
an expression “castles in Asia, ” and the
Hindoos rendered it as “castles in the
moon.”
The cold of Canada seems to diminish
with an increase of population. Between
1828 and 1837 Hudson’s bay was closed
an average of 184 days every year; now
its ice lasts 179 days.
What Ailed Him.
A gentleman of Berwyn, Pa., who is
employed with an electrical light com
pany, has two boys aged 3 and 5 years
respectively. The older one, through;
frequent conversations with his father,!
is familiar with electrical terms, appli- i
ances and probabilities.
Litt-e 3 year-old one cold morning;
was fumbling with a half frozen waspi
that had lodged on the window sill. The I
wasp thawed out, and recovered much!
of his usual animation, a fact proved by I
a succession of yells on the part of the!
boy.
“What’s the matter with Dawson?”
cried the father as he rushed from an
adjoining room.
“I ’spect he touched a live wire,” re
plied the brother, with a scarcely per
ceotible grin.—Youth’s Companion.
Citric Acid.
Citric acid, the active principle of
limes and lemons, was first extracted by
Scheele. It is found in considerable
quantities in many other fruits besides
these, the acid of commerce being, it is
said, extracted from almost any fruit,
the cheapness being the main factor in
seclusion
Algiers is so called from the Arabic
words Al-Jezair. meaning “a peninsu
la ”
When you want first class Tin Roofing
and Gutters done, don’t fail to call on Win.
Tiller 17 Jackson street, Farr Bros, old
stand. Repairing done in first class style.
All kind of Tinware Roofing and Gutter
'•one on short notice Wm. Tiller,
17 Jackson St. I
WOOD MRD.
On and after June Ist, I will deliver
wood only on Saturdays and Mondays.
Orders left at Webb & Crawford’s, Harris
& Bry die’s and G., C. & N. depot will re
ceive prompt attention.
M. B. MORTON.
C. BO D E
Deals in the nines CONFECTIONERIES,
Toys and things of like nature in Athens.
The only Miik Shakes that can be found in
the city. His Bread is perfection itself.
When you need anything in this line give
him a call.
Summer Goods.
IGPI CREAM freezers,
Mason’s All Glass Fruit Jars,
Jelly Tumblers, Refrigerators, Feather Dusters, Lemon Squeezers, Lemon Juice
Extractor*. ALL GLASS.
Fly Fans and Fly Traps,
Tgetoher with a full line of Housefurnishing Goods at
PRICES AS LOW AS THE LOWEST
J. W. BROWK & SOKS.
-
Shaving Reduced toWcts
TlirV Hawi? utar @ arhrs
WUA UttUißy B«C«b4C«U B«tte,
117 Broad Street, Athens Ira,
, ■ • .... .... . I .. v :
riper
i\rinbi
i CLASS
SJOB
v PRINTING!
I' - -
iHaving Secured the Services of
MR. J. B. WILBANKS, we are
prepared to do JOB PRINT
ING in the
NeaO and Best Manner.
We are endeavoring to build up
our Paper and our Job Office,
but to do this we must have your
support,
ALL WORK GUARANTEED.
Place your work with us and it
will be done with NEATNESS
and DISPATCH.
Evening News Office.
Joe B. Maddox,
Manufacturer and dealer in
DOORS, SASH, BLINDS
etc.
Brackets,'
Stairwork and
TURNWORK,
Plans, Details, Tracim •, Blue and
Black Print a Specialty.
All work Guaranteed.
At McGinty's Shop.
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