Newspaper Page Text
6ALLAHER S INDEPENDENT,
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY AT
UI ITM V.\, GA.,
BY
J. C. GALLAHER.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION' •
TWO DOLLARS per Annum in Advance.
AITI'MN.
It U VUViiV HOW A III).
TUe no miner hat* gone to the Smith,
The Autumn 1m with an again,
Following cloao in thufaut’!*} wake
Of the season that she has slain.
TJie ßrowning leaves of the sturdy oak,
And the smnac's fading tojw
Are iu the forest and on the uiJl,
As the farmer garners his crop*.
The flowing green of the summer 'eaves
I* faded, all brown and sere;
The ripening fruit and nuts provide
For the winter that is so near.
How aoon the snows of the winter bleak
Will fall o’er the wanted life
If leaves and flowers that Autumn found
With richest beauty rife \
Oln desolate is the transformation
From summer unto snow.
From the gentle breeat to the friendless wiud
That all through winter blow!
FAWN.
In the summer ot}Hl3, a hand of the
Henec* Indians were -encamped on tlie
hanks of the Cie.,< see river. They were
on their return from iv hunting expedition
to their main resei vstions ncur the shores
\>f Lake Erie, and were anxious to hasten
their movements, for the purpose of offer
inf tht-ir services for the defence of the
frontier- to their American allies, in the
war pending between them and England.
But their progress at the time referred to
was delayed, owing to the circumstance
that one of their number, a favorite-—n
girl Mome fifteen year* of age—had been
taken ill on the march, and was then de
lirious with fever.
The disease had baffled the ussl skill of
the few squaws of the band. A consulta
tion was held by the warriors, to deter
mine whether to remain with the girl, and
await the future of the disease, or to leave
her at the nearest settlement of whites, in
cbuge of one or two of their own number,
aud then proceed on their journey. The
hitter proposition was vehemently opposed
l>y the sachem of the hand, the reputed
father of the girl. At th is crisis, the buying
of the hounds around the ‘bncainpment
hree betokened the approach of a stiuugcr.
‘•lt is our good brother, the young whiti
hunter, ” ejaculated Blue C oat, the sachem,
m broken English, as a young mun m
hunting coatume, und with u rule in hand,
bounded into the encampment.
’‘Welcome, Wallay !”
A vigorous shaking of hands ensued,and
grunts of satisfaction were heaid on every
fade.
VS sit at, ■ 'Wallay" as he whs known by
the Indians, was informed of the subject
under discussion; and he was taken to the
winch of bear skins on which the suflerci
lay. His heart felt pity; his deepest kju -
jisthies wen* instantly aroused. He In.d
never before seen the face of an Indian fe
male that Intel ested turn so much.
‘•Night has overtaken me in tilt) chase,
ten miles frmu homc,”sid Waltar; "I will
tarry with you till early mom, when Fawn
shall be taken to my mother, who will care
for her as for her ow n child; and the white
medicine man shall kill her disi use. A
few of your number may remain with hei
*unlil she is side to resume her march.”
The counsel was at an end. Grunts ol
approval was the reply to Walter's propo
sition, autl renewed shaking of hands fol
lowed. A bountiful supper of roast vein \
son and cakes tif pounded corn baked in j
hot ashes was prepared, of which all savi j
the invalid eat heartily; and,, after ai
lengthy smoking of pipes, llie party,wrapt ]
in Indian blunkcts, sought their night's
repose.
Walter Wallace was of good parentage,
and well educated. He was left fatherless !
at an early age. Dr. Arnold, his step
father, though umau of good abilities, hud
but a small practice. He wan not general
ly liked. His increasing wealth, therefore
was a matter of surprise to all, aud suspic
ion to many ol his neighbors. The matte)
was boyishly referred to by Walter, in a
conversation with his lather, who an
swered only by scowl of resentment. Wal
ler at once comprehended that he was
treading on forbidden ground.
At length the overbearing disposition
Slid imperious will of Dr. Arnold became
insupportable to V altar, and at the age oi
nineteen he indignantly abandoned th
pareutal roof. The sting ol regret w hich
troubled him was the parting from a dear
ly loved mother; and though this was pro
posed against her remonstrance, yet he
was conscious of her secret sympathies.
Placing a pnrse of five hundred dollars in
his hand, she kissed her manly-hearted
and darling boy for the hist time.
'l'o strengthen his health—-to cultivate
and develop his physical system, Wultar
determined to devote two years to advent
ure aDd wild sports in the West, With
this object in view, and with good supplies
of •arms, ammunition, and hunting attire,
he found himself in due time in the Gene
see Valley-=-at that time abounding in bear,
deer, and smaller game, Be took up his
abode in the house of a settler on the
banks of the Genesee. He wrote to his
mother by every possible conveyance; but
pt the end of a year, learning of her death,
he felt a if the great tie of civilization had
been sundered; and forever afterwards he
acknowledged the kind wife of the the
settler as hi adopted mother. At the
time 8T his meeting with the Indian en
campment, he had resided in the country
two years, aDd during that time had scour
ed the, country around as far as the shores
of Erie; and Ontario. He had become
acquainted with the Indians, their lan
guage, customs and manners; and was a
favorite and privileged person among
flu'm,.
(&ii! Jn&epeif&etti
VOL. 11.
Under the influence of good treatment,
i the health and strength of Fawn was re
stored. tv altar was strangely fascinated
with her beauty, and surpiiwed at her in
telligence. .She spoke the English and
] German languages fluently, and had fre
' quently acted as interpreter between par
ties of the two races. Waltar could srsm-elv
1 believe that she was of Indian blood; yet
she declared that she had no reason to
! think otherwise, save thnt of a dim, unde.
; lined dream of an early life in civilization,
i Her jet hair, her black eyes, though
, rather full aud round for an Indian, her
| cheek hones and bronzed complexion,
! seemed to denote an Indian origin; yet her
I elastic, spring gait—her intelligence, her
quick perceptions, and the play of iql f. u
j tures, which exhibited the various emo
, tioifs of the tuiud, indicated otherwise,
, Walter was puzzled-- -became nlistnict
led, save when in her presence. Her rath-
Icr winning way and smile, her gentle ua
: ture and uffrotionute heart, pulled strong
|ly on Ids sensibilities. A vague desire
| took possession of him to return to civili
i /.ation with the maiden, and tu educate
! her to become Ida wife.
The sachem, between uhott.qjid the
! girl there existed a stroug attachment,
| remained with her. tin Ids departure
,wi.-li hei and the few attendants, he pre
i sented Waltar with a belt of wampum to
’ be worn by liini as a badge of good-fellow
ship with the Senecas, and as a token of
bravery.
A year passed away. With a foresight
■ credible to Ids years. 'Waltar had par
i chased for a small sum three hundiTM
acres of land on the shores of the Gene; r. -
| river. He was becoming wearied with his
. wild sports atlil pursuits, and strengthened
land invigorated, was nhoti, to return to
i the. centers of civilization, and embark in
the business of life. But an irresistible
idea r ■ to sec again the Indian maiden in
, duced him to change l.is purpose for a
I while. Accordingly, d. -pending oil his
I ifle for suj-p >ri, lie made ids Way through
tangled woods and swamps, until at length,
i at the close of the day. weary and footsore,
' he found himself on tin banks of It.iffal -
! creek, and but a few miles south of the
; village of Buffalo.
While reposing himself at the foot of a
i large tree, he was startled by the report of
a rifle; tile next moment an Ajn riesn
panther lay dead at his side. HUirtiug to
j his feet, he gaged nrornd 'twas but for
; Hie moment—a crackling of the busji.-t
md "Welcome, Walhiy! ' from the old sa
chem, greeted his errs.
I Waltar. fortunately, had com- upon the
‘grounds ami near the wigwam of Ids In
j lisn friend. Slid had by him been saved
from* terrible conflict, if not death, as the
: i least was at the p> tut of springing win 11
he bullet pierced In - heart.
Great was the joy and satisfaction of
Fawn, which she was too unsophisticated
jto conceal oti.be arrival of Waltar. The
a sence from Idm bad been the means of
: manifest'ng to hers. If her attachment to
him. Time,since their parting,had develop
ed mate feelingsw- hieli convinced her that
the Indian character was not in sympathy
with liers, and that W aitin' was her real
hero. She, therefore, in confident sim
plicity, told Waltar that a young Indian
called Will O , so immil on account of his
more than usual f. rocious instincts, sought
her hand in marriage; that she despised
hiui, and that her father, the sachem, had
forbade him the wigwam. And further
more, that \Valtar’s association with her
would arose his jealousy and wrath, and
Wild Oat would surely sick his lilO The
belt of wampum, designed aa ft pass of safe
ty, would be the mark for the bullet.
Fawn's apprehensions were well found
; ed. A deadly animosity was soon mani
fested by Wild Oat toward Waltar. Vet
Waltar took no pains to avoid him. His
I heroic nature spumed any betrayal .1 fear,
! Several weeks elapsed when the two abrupt
jly met in the forest. Instantly, the In -
] dian's gun was aimed at \\ altar; it missed
j tire; and ere the Indian could re-prime, he
i was in the tiger grasp of Waltar, thrown,
I lisaraied and bound.
A council of warriors was held, aud W ild
i Cat ooudemued to death by the hand of W al-
I tar. Hut at his intercessions, the sentence
I was commuted to running the gauntlet a
; punishment of the deepest disgrace, aud
! equivalent, with us, to being drummed out
I of tlie regiment.
The punishment was immediately car
; l ied into effect. On the banks of the creek,
J near its month and junction with Lake
| Erie, two rows of men and squaws faoing
‘ each other, numbering several hundred,
i were formed. As Wild Oat passed down
j between them, as he was obliged to do to
! save instant death, each person, as lie or
) she felt disposed, gave him a cuff, a blow,
jor a kick. Then, running swiftly to his
i canoe, he darted across to the foot of the
; lake to the opposite side, six miles distant.,
On the Canada side near where Wild
I Oat landed, the remnants of the Pawnnck
| tribe of Indians were settled. Though
I their dialect was similar to that of the Heu-
I ecus, yet they possessed the least intelli
i gence, and were the most barbarous of any
| tribe on the frontier. To this tribe, 5V iid
| Cat immediately attached himself, rnd re-
I lated to then; a glowingly false account of
j his wrongs and insults.
A short time subsequent to W ild Oats
! punishment, the old sachem was taken se
j riously ill, which delayed Water's return
Ito the east, as lie had intended. All of
i Walter’s entreaties and persuasions to in
i duce the old chief to place Fawn within
the pale of civilization were unavailing.
QUITMAN, GA., SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24, 1874.
Only death should separate the warrior
and his daughter.
As Waltar was attending the COTJCII of
the sick chief one evening, dtiring the tem
porary absence of Fawn, a baud of six In
dians, headed by Wild Oat, suddenly burst
iuto the room. Waltar was quickly bound,
and, before the alarm could be giten, he
was thrust into the bottom of a canoe; ami
the party, with swift moving paddles,
made their way rapidly and safely actoss
the foot of the lake.
Great was tlie exultation of Wild Cat
oa r tlie capture of his hated rival, wl o,
when the party landed, was unbound; and
liis enemy flourished a tomahawk around
and in close proximity to his bead, he was
taunted with jeers, jibes, and derisive
laughter by the party, Waltar was too
well acquainted with the Indian nature to
tier -uny remonstrance. He maintained
his looks of stolid indifference to their pro
ceedings. Wild Oat would have cleaved
his skull on the spot, but his savage com
panions desired to share together the pleas
ure of tormenting him to dentil.
It was determined that the victim should
be burnt oil the ensuing afternoon. An
opening, or cleared spot of the woods, near
the shore, <if several handled feet in diame
ter, was fixed upon as the place of execu
tion. 11l the center of the opening stood
an enormous tree. To this Waltar was
bound, and faggots of pitch pine were
placed high around liim, The torture
commenced by throwing the hatchet. This
was done in a manner similar to that of
impaling by the Chinese tin- object of the
savage being to leave the hatchet sticking
by the blade into the tree as near the head
of the victim as possible. Having practiced j
this sport, with slumts of laughter, to their !
satisfaction, they prepared for the death.
After joining hands, with whoops and ]
veils, they danced the death dunce; after |
which, sitting iu a semi circle a few rods I
from the tree, in front of the victim, they ]
united ill the guttural death song. This
being ended,out; of the party arose,and with
blazing torcli advanced to fire the pitch.
While lie was stooping forward for the
purpose, nnp while Waltar was ejaculating
a prayer, the sharp crack of a rifle was
beard, and the savage fell dead upon and j
distinguished * the Torch. With United!
bowls the suVages sprang to their feet; each j
expected to drop next; a hasty glance at |
the ambush, and panic stricken they fled I
* |
preeipitutedly up tte bench.
“Thank heaven, m.v aim was true!" ex
claimed Fsn'ii, as she cut the bonds of Wal
tar. "Wa are alone follow me—quick—
quick !”
They hastily ran to the lake shore,
jumped into a canoo, and shot out inb.
deep water. Fawn quickly reloaded the
rifle, ami placed it on the floor of the ca
in*., but ere long, as both were making
vigorous use of their paddies, they dis
covered a canoe coming in a direction to
inteiccpt their progress. It contained but
one person- 55 ild Cat.
He had caught sight of Water and
Fawn, as they pushed out into the lake;
having recovered tlie shock of surprise,
and frenzied by the escape of Waltar by
the bands of Fawn, he Was determined to
overtake and destroy both, or perish in
the attempt.
Ou flew the canoes with tlie speed of ar
rows. Wild Cat the advantage iu light
ness of canoe and that dexterity in the use
of the paddle which only great strength,
united with long practice, conld impart.
'The course of Fawn’s canoe to the Ameri
can side was across the mighty volume of
the waters of Eric, just where it enters the
mouth, and forms the majestic Niagara
liver. In the center of the course the
current runs at the rate of seven miles an
hour, and increases in rapidity in its de
scent, until twenty miles oelow the waters
leap the world-renowned precipice.
Wild Cat's canoe gained rapidly on the
pursued, aud had reached within a few
rods of the latter, just beyond the greatest
strength of the current, when the savage
suddenly stood erect, and just poised the
unerring hatchet, when a bullet pierced
his heart. He reeled and fell backwards
and lengthways into his canoe; it .swung
round, was quickly drawn into the cur
rent, shot down the river, and was en
gulfed beneath the cataract.
Joy and satisfaction sparkled in the eyes
of Waltar aud Fawn, as they pursued the
rest of their voyage. Grunts of satisfac
tion were heard, and the nods of approval
were seen in the wigwam at tho safety of
Waltar and Fawn, and the death of Wild
Cat.
The death of Blue Coat, the old sachem,
watt at band. He called Water by the
side of his couch.
“I am going,” said the sachem, in a
feeble voice, “to the, spirit land, aud soon
shall be on the happy hunting grounds.
Promise me that you will take Fawn to be
your wife and I die content. Bhe is of
your own taeepnot a drop of Indian blood
flows in her veins. M,y wigwam was ortoe
on the shores of Lake Champiain, aud
near the old settlements of whites. Her
parents were my friends and frequently
were in my wigwam with the child. I
loved the little creature, and called her
Fawn. Before she was four years old her
parents died; and* one day, a man came to
my wigwam leading Fawn. He gave her
to me; she had no other home. He also
gave me five hundred dollars in silver; I
have never used them—they are here. In
a little box of clothing for the child was a
picture of a man and woman—her parents;
it is in this packet— tnkqthem.”
The old nian could say no more.
What was Water's astonishment, on ex
amining the picture, after the burial of the
saCliem, to find inscribed on the buck the
name of “John add Mary Arnold,”
Fawn was a niece of his step father!
He lind now the first (due to the sudden
weultli of Ur. Arnold.
Securing attendants, Water, with Fawn,
immediately set out for Alton, where they
arrived in due time, and without trouble.
Procuring the services of an experienced
and expert attorney, an investigation was
commenced; and by a course of fortunnte
J and fortuitous circumstances, it was assei-.
| tallied that John Arnold had left, though
j without writteu will, twenty-five thousand
dollars to his only child, Mary, (Fawn).
He bad in confidence placed this money
before his death in the bunds of his brother,
Dr. Arnold, and requested him to act ns
guardian. On I)r. Arnold's return from
j the death of liis brother, some two hun
dred miles distant, he reported the death
jof tlie child to the very few who had
known of her existence.
With proofs in their possession. Water
] and his attorney sought a private Interview
with Dr. Arnold. They found him far
j goneiu consumption, and broken in spirits,
' hut apparently contrite ami repentant. He
J acknowledged the enormity of the offense,
j hut wished tlie matter to bo kept a secret,
and expressed great relief of mind that
' Mary had been found and restored. By
mutual agreement and by his desire he at
once signed deeds in her favor to the
a o n of fifty tho sand dollars, being the
one-lialf of liis estate.
Mary entered a female seminary, where
she remained three years, at the end of
which time, cultivated in miiul and man
ners, and at the ago of twenty, she was
united in marriage to Water Wallace.
Ten years subsequently Waltar visited
bis estate on the Genesee river. He was
astonished and delighted with the im
provements of the surrounding country.
The “wilderness had indeed blossomed as
the rose." The Genesee valley had become
the garden of the Empire State. He im
proved his grounds, and erected an elegant
uisusiou, in which ho has since resnUd
happy in liis domestic relations, and good
fellowship with all. And now, though
bronzed with years, the hospitalities of
Water and Fawn are cheerfully extended.
- —•—
Fr e-Lovc ou Lake Champlain.
The curious faith that, certain dream
or* cherish iu the feasibility of commun
ism is having anew illustration in the
establishment of a “llarmonbd Fraternity”
on Vulcour Island, in Lake Champlain, it
short distance below Flattsbiirg, The
bn tlirun also own two blind fed acres of
land devoted to nurseries (for trees), near
Burlington, Vermont, and thus possess
property to tho amount of nearly @IOO,OOO.
At Valcmtr Island the Itarmonial fra
ternity will locate its principal buildings,
which, us the circular proudly announces,
will include one calf-house and one hog
house, where calves and hogs will be bred
and slaughtered in a strictly communistic
way. Hero the brothers and sisters will
live in unity, utld wliat the Oneida com
munity call * state of complex marriage.
In other words, they will be practical free
lovers, and will neither deny their creed
or sit on the ragged edge of remorse to
any great extent.
The Oneida community is really the
only socialistic community which Ims
achieved any success without making
celibacy a condition of membership.
Whatever the reason may lie, tile Oneida
people have ffilide money by traps, and
have now some sikty communistic chil
dren, who wbilld be wise indeed if they
could know their own fathers. Tlie Val
cottr Island community docs not propose
to enter into the trap business,' but will
undertake to live by agriculture. They
expect to lure new members by the bait
of free-love, and by advertising the fact
that seven-light houses studs the nearer
vision of those who look’ out and! the win
dows of the harmonial finite on Vulcour
Island. Usually a light-house is not held
to be particularly fascinating, and ns most
of our lake-houses are about ten or twelve
feet high they are not imposing. How
ever, the average harmonial brother may
take delight in the fact that so in Any
light-lionses “studs” his vision. No man
can predict what a communist will or not
like.
The inmates of the homo ure to be di
vided by “temperaments into groups and
families, thus avoiding the combination
of discordant elements” in one family.
Doubtless the red-haired men and women
will constitute one group, and those with
a fondness for “gushing” another group.
Those who have charge of the organiza
tion of the groups will, however, have s
good time in finding out the proper place
for every wild fanatic whb may join" the
havtnoiiiul brotherhood.
It is inifty th loresce the end of tii6 ex
periment. Not having prophet like
Noyes, of Ofieida community, at ’ their
head, and tet being actuated by the re
ligious enthusiasm of the Oheidairs, the
Valconr brethren will soon grow tifedof'
agriculture ted gazing at tlib several light
hoiies, and will first quarrel and then sepa
rate. No such experiment has ever out
lived a single generation, but I don t
hesitate to say that long before 1884 there
will not be a harmonial brother or sister
left on Valconr Lslaml.
“What will not a woman do for the man
she loves?” asks a writer. She will not eat
onions while going to a party, no matter
Low much ili# loVunt him.
A Crowded Ho se Car o-t aStormv Night.
Of course it is raining pitchforks.
V'ou leave the office with ita many busi
ness cares, to seek your bright, fireside, dk
perhaps to play a quiet little game of
draw-poker, with a chum.
Your first thought is the horse ear. and
straightway you proceed to attack one.
You think you will walk down a little,
so as to meet the car and get a seat.
Men pass you, struggling with their
umbrellas, looking sail mid dejected.
Women splashing through the mud, for
lorn aud lank, with wet skirts, brush past
you in close proximity, as to bo absolutely
chitling.
Yon spy tlie ear, and rush f*if if
Hoggs also happens to see it, and lie
rushes for it at the same time.
You have just cleared a three foot wide
pool and arc lushing tor the rear platform,
when yon both cellule.
Hugos' hut flies off into space. While
he seeks it, you gain tho ear, and leave
Hoggs muttering frightful threats and
swearing as if by note.
For some reason or other yon always try
to avoid Boggs after that.
11l your agitated -state of mind you have
scarcely noticed that yon are occupying but
a very small space on the car step. The
drippings from the overhanging roof fall
ing gently down the back of your neck
pleasantly reminds you of the fact; aud
also of tlie fact that you did not walk quite
farenough down town to secure a seat.
The car is fearfully mid wonderfully
jammed yes, ‘-jammed" is the word.
After riding a few blocks in yum- present
position, amt being convinced that the
rear of your shirt collar is sufficiently ;
dampened, by the dropping water, you |
make a determined effort -—squeeze your- j
self through the outside crowd, alid reach j
the inside of the car.
You feel for a strap, and, ns it were, I
hang yourself up to dry by one arm
The horse ouy fiend the fat woman with
an immense basket —is present.
She wants to get out+so, signalling the !
conductor, slm dives for the door; ns she
passes all shrink.
With one hand still clutching the strap,
you bend over sideways until you form an
appalling angle; your feet being in the
centre of the car, while your head is rest-;
ingiiattinstt lie side, just, above the windows. I
M Jai)while tho nmn on the Heat whose j
hut down over his eyes,
is getting restless, and you begin to feel
nervous, y • '
.lust then tin*, onvyjauddenly stops, and |
forward you go ! -as far as the combined j
length of your arm and the strap will allow, j
Tin* fat woman vanishes. The cur starts.
And backward you are ahot-v-the motive
power of thirty similar unfortunate* all
going in the same direction.
Soon the man Heated near where you are ■
standing shown signs of uneasiness, and
yon think lie i n going to get up and out.
You anxiously watch him with one eye, ,
while the other is jealously directed at
Jones, who stands next to you.
Jint tho man in the wnt doesn’t get, up. ■
After wistfully gu/ing at him for six Idocits
your street comes iu view ami you leave the
cur, muttering remarks jiboilt the vile de-;
eeitfulnesH of some men, and wrathfully
asking yourself, “Why, with the boasted j
civilization of the nineteenth century, we
can't have Kapid Transit -with seats at
tached? " DfjfHbw’MjJS’eint.
A New Gamo.
/’S.I-- * s related of a jolly sugar planter
-fWjßfl the days of Specie and slavery,
’found himself in Now Orleans with the
proceeds of his crop in his pockets, anx
ious to invest them in the pursuit of hap
piness.
Having primed himself nt the St. Cbofli ,
he was wandering along the streets in
search of a faro bank, when his attention
was attracted by an Italian who was turn
ing the crank of his hand organ, on the
top of which moved and danced a number
of puppets, olio of which had a place for
contributions. Taking this for a novel
game of chance, the planter, wholly unso
phisticated and more than half inebriated,
resolved to buck the tiger, and place a So
piece on the plate. The Italian ground
on, the figure dexterously tilted the money
into a basket, and tho Italian solemnly
placed it into his pocket.
“Here goes to get (veil, said the
planter, as lie flanked a tell, which shared
the same fate. “Fifteen out; here’s a
twenty.”
The itnpertm-nble Italian pocketed the
twenty, and still turned the crank. The
disgusted planter departed with the re
mark ;
“Well, I never was lucky, but blamed if
ever I see a game before where all the per
j eelitage was ill favor of the dealer.
~ ‘ ”
■ He Saw the Point. —A boy returning
] from school one day with the report that
| his scholarship had fallen helmv the usual
I averiige. “Well.” said his father, “you’ve
j fallen behind this month have you? How
I did that happen?” “Don’t know sir ” The
| father knew if the son did not. He had
I ohserVed a number of cheap novels scat
j tered about', the house, blit he had not
| thought it, worth while to snv anything
j until a"fittihg o’p\ and. thnity should offer it
! self. A basket of apples stood upon the
I floor, und he said: “Empty those apples,
! anrl'tako the basket and bring it to me
j half-full of chips. And now,” lie con
(tinned, “put those apples back into the
j basket.” When half the apples were re-
S placed the son said! “Father,, they roll oil,
II can’t put in any more.” -‘Put them in, I
• tell yon*” , “But, father, I’cari’t’ put them
i in.” “Put them in ! No, of course you
' can’t put them in. Do you expect to fill a
i basket Imlf-full of chips, and then fill it
i with apples? You said you didn’t know
! why yon fell 'behind at sc! 001, and I will
j tell yon. Your mind is like that basket
‘ it will net hold more than so much, and
i here you,have been the past month tilling
| it. with rubbish—worthless, cheap novels.”
- 'Tlie.boy turned on bis heel and whistled
(go'll said: “Whew ! I’see the point.”
How- 51b. THRoeKStoYridN Came Home.
Night before last Mi-.'. ThrtekpM'u’tbn, who
jlivhs ou Houtli Hill, stayed’down" town
very late beinggreatly interested in a game
of draw-poker and simmings. When he
got home he was so deeply affected by the
trimmings and the memory of his last
hand, when somebody had played waxed
' cards on him, that instead of unlocking
, the door he crashed through a window and
i sank to the floor ill repose. Dow n cme
j his wife, half-way down stairs. “Mr.
i Throckmorton,” she cried, “are you hurt?
: Did you call?” “Call nothin’,” ho re-
J sponsively murmured. “Call? I raise ye
twenty chips ! You call f you want to—
hie '!” ■ Uarlia/finu Ifankcgr.
Dancing With a Fat, Woman.
The New York Her ihl reporter has been
I tu a "Fat Wimmn's Clam Bake,” in I’leas
ant Valley, N. Y., whereat snliil ladies cl
j some three hundred pounds attempted the
! light, agile and graceful dance, tie chose
tlie smallest partner lie could liml. Un
i tortunute mail I There was a hand oil the
I music stand, which played quadrilles witli
| out any dancers for some time, owing to
the known modesty of the lnt people.
Through an unadvised sentiment I was in
duced to (lance a waltz with a fat woman,
who turned the scale at lit’! pounds. Now,
let it la* fene-mhered that the thermometer
stood tu 88 degrees, and the floor was
! highly glazed. After several hows had
| been delivered, I approached my female
J Behemoth and grasped her madly around
j what was intended for a waist, hut which
| resembled much more a sack of outs. The
band of eight pieo.s struck up a waltz
: troi temps, and in the words of Artemu
we 1 ‘glial.-. After the first step or two, 1
j felt as if I Imd been swinging Kehoe’s
; clubs for a week, and there was a singing
j in my ears us 1 vainly strove to glue myself
ito the floor, J looked over the lady's shoul
ders and saw tears i-i the eyes of some of
the spectators, while others were laughing
outright at my predicament. The lady
grasped me tigher, and the drum gate a
■ attic. My collar flew oil', and a button
was heard audibly to rattle on the floor
like the sound of a pistol lutllet that might
he dropped suddenly. She struggled a
moment as we went whirling around—l
mean as 1 went whirling around, for she
was moving with the specific gravity of a
lumberyard on wheels- and suddenly 1
was hurled into space and lay on a bench,
while the lady dropped-lito a seat, and her
bench shut itself into a fan, under the ter
rible weight of her person. Thus ended
tny first and last waltz with a fat woman.
1 felt humiliated, and heard her telling s
iatly friend shortly after that I didn’t
amount to much—l was too light,
Novktj VoVAtii:. Now thereto nuoUiov
foolhardy ouialidato lor the honor of row- '
to lln* Gull' of Mexico in tin* person of j
a Mr. Bishop, of Troy, New York. His
ro ito is thus given; From Troy to New j
York, and to Hiritau hay and river; from
fimtiin river to Delaware by way of canal; I
down tin* Deluware river to Delaware City, 1
mid through the canal to the Chesapeake!
hay; thence, to Norfolk through the canal!
into Currituck sound, down Currituck,
Alberuavle, I’indieo Clove, Bogue aud
Stump sounds, inside, to within thirty
miles of Cape (dear, North Carolina; out
side through Bear inh'j, thirty miles to
Cape Fear; odtaede along the coast eight
miles to Georgetown, .South Carolina; in
side through sea island passages; liomeley
'marshes of (Jeorgin. marshes and thorough
fares on tlinFloiida const into Ht. John’s
river; up St. John’s river two hundred and
forty miles to Salt Lake; the bout then to
be hauled ucivkh seven miles into Indian
river; down tlmt -to Jupiter inlet; out to
*a along the co: at of the Gulf.
The canoe is to he provided with i\ sail
and n pair of < m s, so that tin* adventurous
gt nth man may not he comported to d*-
pend entirely upon the wind or physical
exertion to propel his craft. Tho canoe is
fitted with a cover extending in board
about two feet from both the bow and stern
tin* centre of tin* boat being covered in
rainy weather with a canvas cover.
-
I > tsc( m; n v a t Hr:k< ’u r, anku m.- An in -
ten sting discovery of a lil‘e-siz <l female
bust in pure silver has lately been made
at Herculaneum. The work, according
to an account given in tin* Patric . is in a
state of excellent preservation, and is the
only .specimen of its kind which has been
found during the course of the excava
tions. At. first the material was thought
to be only bronze, the net ion of the sul
phnre having somewhat altered the ap-,
peanxnce of tho smfneo, and the sulphate j
of silver which has formed upon the metal j
yielding a black color like tlmt found in !
the commonest sort of im ferial. The bust j
was rcniov <1 to the museum, when one of
the keepers, struck with the unusual tone !
of the bronze, scraped away a part of the
surface, and at once came upon the silver
beneath. A discussion has arisen whether
the work was originally cast or chiseled,
hut there seems now little doubt that the
former hypothesis is correct. The head
is that of a young and beautiful women,
hnt as yet the features have not been
i lentitied with that of any other extant
head.
Undkii the MjcnoseorE. -When a ilea
is made to appear as large as all elephant,
we can see all tho wonderful parts of its
formation, and are astonished to find that
it has a coat of armor much more com
plete than ever warrior wore, and com
posed of strong, polished plates, fitted
over each other, each plate covered like a
toitoise shell, and when* they meet hun
dreds of strong huills project, like those
on the back of the porcupine and hedge
hog. There is the arched neck, tip* bright
eye, the transparent cases, the piercers to
puncture the skin, a sucker to draw away
the blood, six long-jointed legs, four of
which are folded on the brest, a 1 ready at
any moment to be thrown out with tre
mendous force for thnt jump which botli
ers one when they want to cub h him, and
at the end of each leg honked claws, to
enable him to cling to whatever he alights
upon. A flea can jump a hundred times
its own length, which is the sime as if a
man jumped six hundred feet; and he can
draw a load two hundred times hi* owii
weight.
Lawless Counties—V HaouEß-ruoM.
The remedy for lawlessness, such as af
fects Breathitt courdy, ih tills Htidte. nt
tliis time, is very simple and in web less
expensive than seuding ti-oops to the c!iw
turtied district, and this to divide the
country into three or four parts and at
tach it to the adjoining counties. Any
county w here a court cannot- he hold in
peace 'should he expunged from the map]
of the State, and a knowledge of this fact
would bring the reckless to their senses
sooner tlmu military forces. This sugges
tion is worthy tho consideration of the
Legislature. I.r.iinglon (Ay) (isuett*.
This is an item not to be printed ih the
Sunday-school books: A crowd of bad
boys went bathing in Skunk River, lowa,
wn the Sabbath day, and while the Rev.
Jabez Lynne was reproving them mill
vail ly endeavoring to induce them to come
out, a thunder-storm uame up and the
minister was killed by a flash of lightning.
None of the boys were drowned.
A lady says: “If women were as par
ticular m choosing virtuous husbands us
meu are in selecting virtuous wives, tl e
greatest of moral revolutions would renal'.”
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
tfiiii-ago still dromls Hie.
Insurrection ut Buenos Ayres.
Now Haven is going to liuvu a citv iunf
kot.
Blue frail nrv being “refrigerated” for
winter use,
| Georgia ore is yielding ten thousand
dollars per ton.
Merolmiits are generally liopo.'ul rather
than jubilant.
.Saratoga is snug rft in n" lute /’track ns
! ft seaside w atering place.
A New Yorker recently swam the Helles
pont which is a utile wide.
A paper culled tho Hipiuw Ims been
i stinted at Biookhuveu, Miss.
A California baby was so fat tlmt it died,
j and they said, “Poor thing 1”
I The Deliver Nnic* proclaims that Col
orado is the hope of the niitiou.
Mix thousand Hootch miners ure ou it
strike at Fife and Clackmannan.
In what ship has the greatest number of
people been wreck?—Corn-ship.
Western railways ure reducing the nun -
j her and pay of their employes.
Mr. Biet ami Miss Pickle were married
: ft short time ago in Fulton county.
' Chicago is determined that no wn,
wooden tiuildingssln.il lie erected.
! Two hundred iw,Hises were caught iu
\ Provinuetown harbor, last .Saturday.
A home for Chinese ladies has been es
j tablinhed by ladies in him Francisco.
Miss Lydia Bower Ims been voted tho’
handsomest woman in W'atheno, Mo.
Why should not opera glasses ho used
! ill church when the new bonnets come in?
A colored Baltimore youth pawned his
wooden leg fora pint of’whiskey, the other
1 day.
Workmen in tho Massachusetts Stub,
prison yard unearthed a skeleton the other
; day. , ...
“Horse jewelling done here,” is whnt
| one reads ou an Oregon blacksmith *
shingle.
A colored man has been nominated for
councilman from the !)th ward of Hartford,
Connecticut.
Owing to the rush of other matter the
big feet of Chicago women are crowded'
out of this issue.
Encouragements for die old nmiils—sl. a'
Kansas Lovejoy’s fresh motherhood at sra
ty-eight. Chicago Post.
When Steeptea married liis fifth wife ho
sent the usual notice to the papers, wiln
the addition, “Tq he continued.’*
Ex-Queen Isabella has hail to redi o i
the number of her servants to forty, in 1
she’s very mid and melancholy over i ■
po city.
“Wind's tfie mutter with yon, my pot?”
“O, aunty! X just wanted to touch a littlo
ehicki-y, and tho old ben growled at mo
and bit me with her nose!"
“What kind of sausage is them?" asked
:an old lady of the young man of 1 t .ratine
and peanuts us lie passed through tho
! train selling bananas. .
“I want to know,” snid a credit, t,
fiercely, “when joij are going to pay n, >
w hat, you owe me?” “1 give it up,” re -
plied the debtor; “ask me something easy.”
A lady wants in know wliat is the mean
| ing of “ante” utld “pass the buck?" Her
■ iw.drimenial companion uses it in hii
j dreams, amj she is afraid itiudicatesty
| plioid’ levef,
A man weiri iuto the Post Office nt
I Springfield, Ohio, and asked, “Is there
i letter here for Mike How?” “No,” angrily .
| replied the clerk, “there isn’t a letter here
I for anybody’s cow.”
A minister approached a misehievom
urchin about twelve , years old and laying .
his hand upon liis shoulder (hus address, and
him; “sly son I lielieve tho devil lihh got
■ hold of you.” “I believe pe has tpo,” wivt‘
, the significant reply of the urchin.
It is told of a younggentleman, whom'it
maiden liked but her father didn’t, that at
a reasonble hour the old gfnt mildly iul: •
mated thnt the time for retiring, had ar
rived. “I think you aro ported my dec
sir,” answered the nineteeuth-eentur
modestly, “we have been waiting an hour
for you to put yonself in your littlo bed. “
The father retired thoughtfully.'
no. l>:>.
‘•Billings' Almanac.”
Josh Billings’ Almanac) for 75 is 'y-l
out. It is full of droll and mischievous
humor, aud is the best ho has ever issued
yet. . . <■■■■,
Wo present some extracts from it wliii u
are yich and racy.
The dnmpliri aro about the natural sire
oy ybur pbist, mode out ov dough, and
tilled with apples. They uro nerved up
hot., with some sweet-tastiug linimei t
on them, and iz az eazy to struggle wit t
with aZ a sugar plum. They ain’t so good
Hold, az they ought to he. Kohl tin in p
liu aud raw potatoes,’ eat similar! I never
et npp'lu dumpliii yet, without thunkiii.t
the laird for that. one, ami the landlady
for another one. Four apple duinpliiis. id
one sitting. iz'just about mi size. Iw ah
I kim who invented these kind-hearn i
hallo, I’ would like to weep over hiz mem -
ory. Finikin pi,' ami apple dumplin have
done az match to civilize mini az cniiy two
missionaries that have ever lived. Good
vittles iz'nest to good morals eniiy ho- .
Yu may talk about virtne as much az y r
pfeze, you kant never ihokulate a ua.-i
with virtow fust ratoon a empty ntuiniuuk.
Given mun four uppfb dumplins, with
some good kind or ointment on them, aid
after he her. et them and hd naz setll. and
down to hurd paC yu knn krawl up to lino
on either side w ith a dose of morality, .•
even some new kind of'sopr,' or taking'
spots out ov clothes.
When u man ain’t good for ennything'
else, he is jnst right to sit on a jury..,
Coquet* make better wives thn* Frndes
do, but thank the lord,' there is betti j’
ones in market than either ov them'. .
One ov the most unfortunate imlivhlivals
i kno ov, is a third rate fiddler.
About az low down az a man kau gif„
and not (piite spilt l , iii to live ®* liz wife's l
reputuslma. ,
A good daauaeter fee nlTwußa gained bi
inehosjbnt i* oft-ei* Ik-ixst hr one dSrank.
After trieing for more than 35 years to
Uav mi"own way in alt things;;! huv finally
cum to the konkiusliuii* to- split the dif
ference. ,
Experience acids on sum- pholks vitals
just az it dus on a bull terrier, 1 e done
fairly git over one whipping before he be
g us to look around for another.
There is a grate uieniiy giugerpop peo
p'e in this world, after they hav bin nu
1 1 orked a fu minutes, they git to be dred-'
full plilal'.