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GALLAHER’S INDEPENDENT, PUBLISHED EVEHY SATURDAY AT QUITMAN, GA., by J. C. GALLAHER. TISR.IIS OF SUBSCRIPTION t TWO DOLLARS per Annum Afhnwce. EVERY bay. Oh, trifling tanka so often done. Yet over to be dou aucwl Oh, cares whfeh oome with every sun. Mom after morn, the long yearn through! We Hhriuk boncKth their paltry nway— The irksome call* of every day. The rest less *en*e of wasted power, The tirencme round of little things, Are hard to bear an hour by hour Ita tedious iteration brings ; Who shall evade wr who delay The small demand* of every day ? The bolder in the torrent’* course By tide and tempest lashed hi vain, Obey* the ware-whirled pebble's force, And yields its substance grain by graiu; So crumble strongest lives away Beneath the wear of every day.*. Who finds the lion in his lair, Who tracks the tiger for his life, May wound them ere they are aware, Or couqner them in desperate strife; Yet powerless he to scathe or slay The Vexing knats of every day. The steady strain that never stops Is mightier than the fiercest shook ; The constant fall of water drops Will groove the adamantine rock ; We feol oar noblest powers decay, iu feeble wars with every day. Wc rise to meet a hoary blow— Our souls a sudden bravery fills— But we endue not always so The drop by drop of little ills ; We still deplore and still obey The hard behests of every day. The heart which bol lly feces death Upon the bat tie-field and dares and bayonet, faints beneath The needle points of petty carts; The stoutest spirits they dismay— The tiny stings of every day. And even saints of holy fame. Whose souls by faith have overcome, Who wore amid the cruel flame The molten crown of martyrdom, Bore not without complaint alwuy The petty pains of e\cry dey. Ah, more than martyr's aurovv And more than hero's'heart of tire, We need the humble strength f soul Which daily t 41s and ills require; Hweet patience grant us, if you n-y, A.t added grace for every day. —E . A. Allen, in Scribner's - HOW I BECAME A FAEJIE2. One fine Rinnm t <ifreinnoii. 1 detri mitied to fior-unie ft farmer. Don't, for g ftifke. Chink jluit I jvaa going ti> buy ii farm, for such 'ftere not my ir-bn- No, not by iiny means. Why I never joined ilie Patrons of Husbandry Wait because I hail tveii blackballed by That same orgimizarion something less thuli lmlf u dozen times. Ami why I was not going to hay a farm, the reader enu gttefis —I hadn't the required uuiouut of funds. Bn I am wandering nwny from inv fine slimmer afternoon. To retain, I will tell To if why mnl in what way I was going to lieeome ft farmer : My hank aeeount was no more, aud uiv landlady would not wait with me for another week's hoard, hence my departure from the city and my arrival among the farmers. The time was spring when I wandered among the the rural ilia triets. The grass Was just starting from its mother earth, and looked inviting in the extreme to a lar.v young, man with the world before him, and uo one to take owe of hut himself. When I.say inviting, I don't mean inviting to eat, liut to lie down and take solid comfort thereon. I threw myself on the green sward 'nenth the shade of a friendly bil.-h growing near the roadside. I was lying thus, dropping inlo s delightful snooze, when a voice from the highway disturbed my calm repose. ’•Say, young feller, wliat's the matter?" I remained perfectly quiet, turning tlie matter over in iny mind carefully. I was lying on my back, and, with very little Ixxlily exertion, I raised my left leg to a perpendicular position, and gently moved my foot up and down, and waited to see the effect. And to this day, I solemnly be lieve, though I know I am liable to be killed for saying it, that tbi motion was the sign of distress amoug the Patrons, for in an instant the man iu the wagon was at Kj Bine. Bending over me, he said : vWftA sw*. V* I sajld np/Miffl £oi: a ironies*, vowktmg if V wlui.t ails, you.’-’ wap the test word, and, if so, i| (hfijf w0u.14 bp tire proper response. Finally I groaned out- with a mysterious tnd uuknowu wi ikio£ of my ft rigors—the words, “corn bread.” With a bounding heart, I saw I had beyond a doubt hit the Odilon the head. Without a word my fraternal brother assisted me to arise, and led me limping toward the wagon, which stood in the road near by. He helped me into the wagon, and, after 1 had imbibed something from a little brown jug, I was. able to tell to my rescuer the story of my wrongs. This I will not repeat for reasons best known to myself. Suffice it to say, that tin; farmer was deeply touched by my tale. I wound up by telling him that I wanted to got work on a farm. “Well, now,” said my resoner, ‘Tam looking for a young chap to stay on my farm. Did you ever shear sheep 1” “Oh, yes,*" I said "I have done as much qf that as any other work.about the farm.” This was the truth, for I hud never been qu the grounds of a homestead iu my life. I was just going to tell him what a jolly time Ii had experienced last Christmas, When , the idea struck me that I might be VOL. IT. trending on dangerous grounds, so I deter mined to remain silent upon the subject until I bad learned something about it. “How much will you pay a month for a good shenrei ?” I ventured, ikteVßUucd not to air my ignorance. “How much a month ?” said he, with unmistakable astonishment. “W hy, man, I won't have shearing enough to last a week.” ‘•Oh-, yes," I replied, “shearing on a smtiU scale, I understand." “Small scale 1” he repeated, w ith em phasis. “How many sheep are you used to shearing iu the spring ?” “Oh, thut's all right,” I replied, coolly. “Of course you will not shear as many sheep in the spring us iu the fall.” And here I commeueed to whistle an unknown melody. “ Voting men," said my companion, sav agely, “did you ever hear of shearing sheep iu the fall ?” Without paying **tW9tk> to this pointed ipiT-stioii, I asked : “How mini'll w ill you. pay for a farm hand, generally?" “Well, I’ll give yon about eight dollars a month, and feed.” I gave a prolonged whistle, wondering what I would feed, hut not daring to ask. “What do you say, young man? I)o you hire?" I didn’t exactly Understand him, but 1 said “yes," at once. We arrived at the farm a little after dark, and at ten o’eloek I got into bed be tween two bmly farm hands, and soon dropped to sleep to music of quacking geese, barking dogs, and my two bed fel lows snoring au accompaniment. Iu the morning, or rather in- the night, at half past three, I was aroused from shearing sheep by the man behind me rolling over me Mil l standing on the floor, When 1 was able to speak, I said : “Who’s sick?" No reply. “Where's ihe fire? ' “No foolin’, young man,” was Ihe gruff reply. “loll’d better- be tumlin' out, or 1 von will mis- your breakfast." During this speech the speaker was jumping hurriedly- into his pants and Boot*. ••Well, yon are hungrier than I ever was, although l have often heeli ill liei and of a square meal. But I think 1 would have to be pretty bad oil before I would hurry as you d<-K " Hut, ere I Jtnd. fhri-h-a, my uadi-ie*. was half way down stairs. I rose, and leisurely put on inv clothes and went flown stairs, guid.d by a piece of tallow caudle spntti ling iu an oM dirty lantern. \\ hen 1 lamb/, in the kiteln n, I found the fume r, his soli and t wo hired men standing ln-fore a bench, on which were about half adozeii lanterns similar to the one in my bed chamber. I was astonished. Could it be possible that these dirty lanterns were the productions of the farm? “Here is yutir lantern, young feller,” said tho “boss,” as I heard the two men call him. I took the proffered production, and in solemn silence we marched through the hack door iu single file, and wended onr way in the direction of the burn, the boss taking the lead, the two hired men next, and the author gallantly bringing up the rear. I thought this a strange way of going to breakfast, but said nothing. I was not yet. thoroughly awnkoT mid, ns we were thus marching along, 1 f< 11 into a sort, of doze, mid dreamed I wits oil a railroad train, and the men before me wen uiy bnik-men. “All aboard !’’ I shouted, swinging my lantern above and around my head. I suddenly became aware of my mistake. I had struck the mall next in front of me ou’the nose, and strange ait may seem, he was without doubt dreaming the same thing as I was, thinking himself a con ductor also ; for ho tinned toward me and said something. I could not tell whether it was “all aboard” or not; anyhow, lie ; swung his lantern in such a way that it struck my head, and the lantern was smashed to atoms. ■'What's up V" I said. “Off the track?’’ I He made spine remftik about uncoupling ' me, but ns I was no lmim to debate, 1 ' turned and followed my train, while my ' kt.hf*i| vunchwiior %'M knelt to. the ,*u tigm to procure (mother lantern and return j on the next train. I will not relate what transpired while at the barn, but 1< t the reader guess we did ! something by ..uying, after two hours’ work we returned to breakfast, which consisted chiefly of cold turnips and fat salt pork; with nothing tr drink but black coffee without sugar or milk. When breakfust was over, we again repaired to the burn— (his time to shear sheep. They were all i huddled together in a small pen near the barn, where they had been put the night previous. The boss and I got into the pen for tlie purpose of catelfiug and handing out to the two men, who were to carry l them into the barn. On getting in, I was cautioned to look i out for the old ram, But LW* not afraid; ■ I determined not to catch, the old rum, and ; thus remain unhurt. Biltalas lfor. human nature, how sadly I was deceived, For a wonder, my first attempt to qat<jh a sick'y. looking lamb was a success. I picked him up iu triumph, nDd started to w here man was in waiting, but on the way my burden became restive. So I pnt it down I in the centre of "the pen, and stooped fond ly over it to rest myself. I-was thus stand ing over the helpless sheep, when a voice calk'd Hit : QUITMAN, GA., SATURDAY, APRIL 10, 1875. “Look out for the ram 1" The next thing I knew I was flying through tho air over the fence. I struck the ground, face downward, of course. - Presently I arose, and, finding no bones broken, struck out into the open country beyond. The farmer laughed, the hired men ditto, the sheep bleated, tho dogs harked, and 1 well, never mind that. Before I was out of hearing, the farmer marie some remark about paying for meals and lodging; but, without heeding his plaintive appeal, I rushed bravely onward, vowing never to look on a Granger again. - -♦ • ♦ — How McGinnis Won. A man whom I w ill call McGinnis, says Max Adeler, represents a county in the State Senate of Pennsylvania. lie is a It publican, and lie was elected by a large majority, although his county hitherto has always gone Democratic. Everybody was amazed to find that it bad elected a Re publican candidate, and nobody could un derstand the reason for it. When McGin nis came to Harrisburg, I happened to meet him, and I asked him how it was. He said : New I don’t mind tilling you how I worked that thing, but I don’t want you to give me nwav on it. It’s a secret. When I was nominated, I saw at. once that I had no chance of gettin elected if the thing was run on a square basis. Douney, my opponent, was a Democrat an’ a church member, an’ if I’d jes laid low an’ done nothin’, he'd ’iiv sheeted into that Senate like a snow slide into a valley. You know flint when people can't possibly get a thing, that's the very thing they want wnsa than anything on this yer earth. Now, yon can’t build a railroad in my county anyhow yon tlx it. Tiler' 's noth in''nqi ther’ Unit hills mi' mountains, an' Con might, ns well try to bore a hole through the Alleghenies with n bar of soap as to construct a railroad over them hills, cnisiquently, the people is jes wild to have a rsvfrrmd in flip enontv, because it’s impossible. Well, sir, jes before election T hired a gang of 'bout, eight hmidn and men, au’ I lauight a lot ’o chains and spy glasses, an’ them instruments that survey ors use. and puttv soon I lied a lot of fellers lavin’ Hut a line o’ railroad through every garden, and’ back vnvd. and perbiter oateji in the county. When a gang would bust through a fence and git tfrwnrk, the farmer'll come runtiin' out and hollerin’: “Wlu t iu tho thunder are you fellers doin'?” an' the men they'd sav : “ What are we doin'? Why. we're 1 yiu’ out the line of old McGinnis's railroad. Haven't 1 von heatd about it?” Then the favmer'd' go in all' suv to his wife : “Maria, ii-i a Democrat, lmt. I’m -gein’ to vote for old MoGimti*. Why, g'osb 1 he's hnildiu’ a railroad right through oui 'giirdeii. WeTlq he worth a miliiou when it’s dime.” That s how the old tiling Winked, When the, • •ll.tui* n-.-.i I scoop, and i in' tv li.'Anehip i hy 'ho t, fifteen bundled majority, an' here T am. Stuart, wasn’t if ? The lilt lie of this is, that it is a true story. < . *- Gems of Thought. Noni.r Dki tw. Nations can better win success hy noble deeds than by the cruel destruction of human life for selfish aims. Bemoious Life.—There are those who shrink from making a beginning-in relig ions life because they conceive that they luck the ability to pursue it OosvENHfflnr. —If we waited until it was perfectly convenient, half of the good ac tions of life would never he accomplished, and very few of its successes. Gratitude is like tlie good faith of tra ders—it maintains commerce; and wo often pay, not because it is just to discharge our debts, hat Unit we nmy more readily find people to trust us. Dorset Good to Others. —The law of the pleasure in having done anything for another is, that the one almost immediate ly forgets having given, and the other re members having eternally received. Staiiixo Dow n. There is a vast quan tity of nonsense talked about bad men not looking you in the face. Don’t trust that conventional idea. Dishonesty will stare honesty out of countenance any day iu the week, if there is anything to be got by it. The true secret of living at peace with all the world is to have an humble opinion ! of ourselves. Be Social. —If you wish to live the life 1 of a human being and not of a fungus, I e 1 social, he brotherly, tie charitable, he syui* j ’•athetie, and labor earnestly for the good ; of your kind. A SwfcET Laugh.- A woman has no more bewitching grace, than a sweet laugh, ft leaps from Wee heart an a clear, sparkling rill; and the heart that hears it feels us if 1 bathed in an exhilirating spring, SiseiißT MAUiiiAGi.B. —A woman should, never consent tube married secretly. "She i should distrust a man who has any reasou to.shroud in darkness the act which in liis own estimation should be the crowning glory of his life. Self Import aSce.—When a person feels disposed to overestimate his own impor tance, let him remember that mankind gpt along very well before his birth, and that iji III) probability they will get along very well after his death. A Tun: Ladv.—Beauty and style are not tlio surest passports to, respectability. Some of tile noblest specimens of woman hood that the world lias ever, seen have presented the plainest and most unprepos sessing appearance. A woman a worth is to be estimated by tlie real goodness of heart, the greatness of her sou!, and the purity and sweetness of her character and disposition. — “Yes, hoys, said Nancy Bell,” a female ; blacksmith of lowa, as she straddled a ! horse’s leg, aud yanked off a shoe, “I was brought up to this business, and so was i ray mother; and there ain’t been uo . bV.ehu scandal in our family, for a fact. Qno of Landaulet Williama’ Tools—How tho Administration Sought to Carry Alabama Last Fall. Tho report of the Congressional Com* mittee appointed lust year to investigate “outrages” in Alabama, ima recently been printed. It covers fourteen hundred closo ly printed pages, and probably contains more lies lban any similar number of pages over printed in this or any other country. What sort of tools the Grant administra tion used during that campaign, nmy be learned from au extrn< ! from the testimony of one J. G. Hester, who figured so exten sively in the Sumter < unty dragonade. Asa record of mmiixed Reoundrelism, it is without u parallel. One of the Democratic members of tlie com mitt h* examined Hes ter us ToHw: (J. I)i<l you talk to the merchants hero about lvukiux, and all that sort of thing? A Yes, si i*; I carried plugs of* tobatco in both pockets, so that they could see I was a peddler. My maiu object was to talk with them, to get acquainted with | them, und find out what vhey were up to. J (,). You spoke to them, saying how you ! had carried the election iu North Carolina by killing negroes ? A. Yes, sir; politics seemed to be the j only topic at the time. Q. Your object was to deceive them? A. Yes, for a time. (J. You told them lies for tlie express ! purpose of getting into their confidence, i did you not ? A. 1 told them what I conceive to be de ceptions. You can call them lies, if you choose. Q. Yon did evil tlmfc good might come ? ! A. 1 did not consider that, that was e\il. I am a member of the Methodist church. I Ido not want to do anything wrong. ] try to do light. I invoke God’s blessing on everything I do. night and morning. Q. And yet, you lied to them ? A. I lied, if you like to call it a lie. Q. Don’t you call it a lie? A. 1 do not. it is not like a lie one would tell to the injury of an innocent person. Q. You tliiuk you were telling the truth, then, when you were telling this ? A. Yes, sir; I think it was the truth in ; the eyes of God. Q. You profess to be telling the truth now, do you*? A. I do. <). What guarantee’ or assurance can you give us that you me telljng the truth now, more than you gave to these people? A. 1 feel the high. ■ obligation now, sir. Q. Is the obligation < • tell (he truth any greater now than it wa.v ;o fell the truth at all times? * A. T< s, sir; tin* very highest obligation 1 t at could rest up on a man rests upon me now to toll the truth. U, V/ev? did not J $ S A. ~b\s, siv; the obl*.*;fli ui that I had then waft to my government, to find out the truth, and in order to do so I to , deccivi these people. Q. Ly fal lln od deception ? A. By deception. Q. JJy falsehood and li '■ ? A. II you choose to call it lies, I have no objection. Q. Did you go to the, members of the Methodist church, or tin* Methodist minis? tors, and say, “1 am litre to fern t out these murders. Can you assist mo iu any way ? ’■ A. I did not. O. You did not go to tho ministers of the gospel ? A. No, sir. Why, we sent a minister to ; tho penitentiary in Booth Carolina for being a Kuklux. Q. The question is this: Did you go 1 turd appeal to the best citizens of Hum ter j and Livingston counties for information, j or did you go to those belonging to yo u I own political party? A. Why, sit*, alter I had made myself known there these, men would not speak to me, (), Yon were traveling around there ns a spy or detective of the government, or a government agent, practicing deception and worming yourself in to ascertain the private sentiments of the citizens. Did you at any time advise them to drive these negroes away and to Kill them? A. I encouraged them iu their way of talking. A Schoolmaster Around Loose. Four or five days ago, amnn about forty ■ years of age, looking as if he lmd been j hauled over a dusty floor for au hour or i two, called upon one of the members of the Board of Edncution, and introduced 1 himself as William Cadnon Harrison, of j Saginaw county. Be was politely received, j nml he commenced business by promptly ; j saying : 1 '“l’m a-loolting for a situation as a school ! teacher. ” l> “Ah, ha,” replied the m mber, wouder i ing why the man wasn’t looking for a l wood-pile. “I could have brought a pile of ree.om -1 mende so high,” continued the man, nieas | uring with his hands, “but recommends don’t amount to nothing.” “And liave you any school in view ?” > asked the. member. “I want to get in here, iu Detroit,” re j plied the men. “What wages do you pay?” “I uni afraid” began the member, when the schoolmaster interrupted: “Oh, well, I s’pose you pay going wages,, and that’s ail I can ask for; I don’t want to put on style and live high, ns I’m get ting a lectio old and ought to save money.” “As I was. going to remark”—said the | member, when the schoolmaster suddenly inquired : Do they allow licking -in the schools i here? If they do, I'm the man you want to dress the boys down. I’Ve had 'em come for me by the dozen, and it would do your j heart good to see the way I laid it on ’em I ! Why, when I had that school in Bay eoun ' ly, I thought nothing of licking thirty scholars a day, besides healing 12 classes reuite !. I’m an old screamer, I tell you, and,there’s fun in we when you get me woke up I” “I hardly think”—commenced the mem ber again, when the schoolmaster jumped i up and said : l “Of course you won’t take the unless I ' pass examination, hut , hain’t afraid of ! not passing. I’d like to see a word that I couldn’t spell ! For iuftance : ‘Catarrh.’ •C-a-t-a-r-r-h, catarrh.’ ‘Dandelion.’ D-a-n --d-e-l-i-o-n, dandelion,’ or try me on words iof four syllables, ‘Lugubrious.’ ‘L-n-g-u- I b-r i-o-u-s, lngubrions.’ Oh, I can knock the socks off u these V-H-111ad j teachers, and not half try.” “I should like to help you,” put in the member, “but”— “Oh, you needn’t think I’m behind on ! geography,” interrupted the teacher. - ! “For instance : What is nn isthmus ? An ! isthmus is a narrow strip of land eonnect | mg two larger bodies. Is the world round or Mat ? Hound. Why ? Because it is. ! Which is the largest river in the world? ! The Amazon. Which is the highest moun tain? The Andes. I might go on for 75 days this way, und then not tell you half 1 1 know !” “You seem to lie pretty well posted in geography, but as 1 wanted to tell” ‘And on grammar, too !” exclaimed the teacher, jumping up again. “What is a noun ? A noun is the name of any person, place or thing. Give us an example : Man, dog, cat, coon, goat, jack-knife, gate-post. Wind, ure the principitt conjunctions ? And, as, both, because, for, if, tl.af, or, nor, neither, either, and so forth, and so forth. Oh 1 I'm right on tho roof of the meeting house when you sling grammar at me.” The member was getting desperate,- and as soon as he could get in u word, he said: “J will take your name, and as soon as a vacancy”- - “Ah I know uyßUmcti'c from cover to Cover r > exclaimed the man, standing Up again. “I can go through the tallies like i lightning through a haystack, and when you get to fractions and cube-root, I’m awful—l weigh a ton and a half, and still growing ! ’ltilhuietie’s my favorite study, ,and VII give you SSO to find n man who'll saw sums in two and plane ’em down as quickly as I can !” His speech took the wind out of him, and the member managed to say there was no Vacancy at present, but ho would take his name und consider his case as soon as one occurred : “I’d like to commence right off!” re plied the man, “but I’m willing to wait. !L re’s my name, and the minic f get your letter, l’il come d>wn n-flying. If you get me, you dou’t get much style, but you get solid, old, coinivon sense and genuine ed ucation. You won’t see scholars playing! hide-and-hoop around the wood-box, or marbles on tlie floor— no you won’t. And lie went down stairs. -Detroit Free Dress. An Irrepttstoibie Pussy. 11Y MAX AUkl-KU. *l We have been trying to lose our eat. We ! are somew hat fond <of her, hut she had a ; way of producing kitten, eveiy few mouths in various portions of the house that was very disagreeable ; and on the evenings j when her maternal duties were net urgent she u u’d to mount tlie back fence and spit, and fight, and yowl with a sorceclvliko u i fog w liisth-. So she became a nuisance, j and we determined to lo.se her. I had a grudge against my wife's aunt, and the first. Hurt- she-.came to Vi‘it u I gave the cat to' her, and she took it uv D> Vh.'jaclc lphia, ; about thirty miles, ill a basket. There was! only one cut wl’.cu my aunt started, bill when I she got home there were six. The cat had i kittened in the basket on the way up. I j believe the cat would have had kitten:, on ! the tep of tho Baptist Church steeple, if /ihe could have get there. We had pence aivmnd the house fr a couple of nights; but on tie.* third night we wore start led by j a scream from Urn back yard like the yell of a Comanche Indian with the delirium tremens. I looked out at the window and observed onr eat engaged in an excited nr-; gument with another cat on the smoke j house roof. She laid come hack. The next day f traded her oil for u bunch of; beets to a funner from over the river in j New Jersey, and he took lieu home. Li knew then that we had lost her finally, and j as night after night went by without noise, t wc felt glad that she was lost for good. A few months afterward, as I was going up: to bed, I saw a wet and draggled animal in the hall. Upon dose inspection, L found that it was our cat. Bhe lmd swam tlie: river and come : and she had just had kit tens on the front stairs. The farmer sub- 1 seqnently made me pay him four prices for the beets. That night she resumed her vo-1 ealization <>n tlie back fence, and from the vigor she displayed 1 judge she was trying j to converse with another cat on the other side of the liver, two miles distant. The next day 1 tied a brick to her nock and j chucked* her into the stream. Two hours afterward, she was in the yard again, j damp, ami with a cold in her lungs, but still inclined t< be sociable with the other cats, and still able to work off a shriek that j woke all the babies in the neighborhood. As she didn’t, seem inclined to stay lost, 1 took her out. next morning and hitched her | with a rope behind the rear car of an ex j press and in a few minutes she was proceeding up the track with frightful ve -1 locity, clawing and spitting, and halloaing, ias she bowled along. That afternoon I i drowned the kittens, and just as they breathed their lust, the buakeuiau on tue : railroad called and >uid somebody had fas tened- my cat to 1j is train, and he had ; I'cMcned her and brought her back, for | which services he wanted two dollars. She I seemed to have nn unconquerable iudispo : fcitiou to remain lost. Bhe was not much ; out of repair. One of her legs was broken, but her voice was Bound, und while com muning with another cat that evening, she ! emitted one wild shriek, which br night i Cooley over to my house with his gun to : ascertain who it was that cried murder 1” A few days afterward she had kittens ; again on the parlor sofa; and that night I hitched her to a couple of sky-rockets that 1 I had bought, and touched them off. Site whizzed for awhile nronnd among the, stars, and I thought I saw the corpse full i over toward Wilmington ; but the next evening, while coming home from church, I saw some cuts holding a synod in the front yard. One of them wus our cat, singed, and a Ltlle discouraged, but still i eu pliable of drowning out all the other eats ,in a chorus. She still remained milost. The following morning I curried hermit : to Keyser’s farm and ran her through the | threshing machine, mid sho came out a i mass of pulp and fur. Then \vu buried her. But I dont feel perfectly certain about her yet. I shouldn't be much sur | prised if she would come together again, | resurrect and come home to have some more kittens and it few fri all yowls ou the ; summit of that fence. Ii she does, I am going to move to Kansas. The Detroit Free Press says this is tho i season of the year when the farmer tells jliis son John that if he will sort over ten | bushels of potatoes, feed the stock, repair j that fence, and ref hmgle the corn crib, be t may have t!i,y, rpst, of thp. da.y to go.,rabbit hunting. Mrs. Grimes’ Mother Fixes Joseph. [ Mr. Grimes, the second supervisor, lmd ; n bad attack of cholera morbus, superin duced by an excess!\a indulgence in voley poley pudding on Fast Day. He groaned considerably, foiwthe pain was very great, and with arms folded across his stomach, and body bent over, he weaved to and fro on the chair, while the scalding tears roll ed ilodu his cheeks, llis wife got him some paregoric, and applied hot cloths to his stomach, and one of the neighbors de scribed composition tea, and another mixed him camphor and hot water, but the relief was not sullieieut. Mrs. Grimes was flur ried. W ilh the children to attend to, and, the hot cloths to change*, and the remedies to prepare, she had both her hands und mind "lull. Besides, Mr. Grimes had at eu tit to entertain the attack before the dinner dishes were washed. The house was con- sequent \y in some disorder. Asa last re sort, Mrs. Grimes’ mother suggested a mustard poultice. She said mustard was the lust tiling she knew of for drawing out inflammation, and it was very penetra ting. The poultice was ju. pared. It was made strong, to take light hold. Mrs I Grimes’ luulhev held it before the tire to j keep it warm, while Mrs. Grimes went into j the sitting-room to apprise Mr. Grimes of j w hat was coining. There is au instinctive ' horror in every human bieastof n mustard poultice. This governed Mrs. Grimes, und j caused her to commit her husband. “Joseph, mother ssys a mustard poultice will relieve you at once, and 1 have got one made to put on you.” “Mustard,” faltered the unhappy man, scarcely repressing a shiver. “Mustard?" “Yes; it won’t hurt you much.” “ But it’ll burn like thunder,” he groaned. “Wind if it does burn a little, I guess you can stand it,” said the tired woman, flushing slightly. Mr.-Grimes was somew hat skeptical* but he consented to lie down on the sofa, and prepare for the application. Mrs. Grimes brought- iii the poultice when he was ready. The eyes of the second supervisor opened tfi their utmost extent when he saw its gem rolls dimensions, und every nerve in j his body shrunk spontaneously from the j contact. “Gracious, Melinda, that’s a buster,” j he faltered. “ There ain’t any too much of it,” said she; “ you don’t want to fool with it ; you : want to be cured at once.” She hovered o-er his shrinking flesh : with the awful remedy, and was about to come down with it, when his hand volunta- : lily interposed. “It wooh won’t burn much, will it?” lie anxiously inquired* “Whitt it does,” said she, pettishly. ! “ Do you w'ant to be around here all day a crumpin' an a groanieg 1 ? Now take your j hand away till 1 put this bn.” “1 won’t bear itaulinit if it burns. J; toll ye,” protested Mr. Grimes, drawing j his hands slowly away; Thu- j Ls k v touehtiFhim. “VYouh-ooh,” lie gn.*ped. More of it came in contact with him. I “Oh. gosh, Melinda! I can’t stand it, I tel! ye,” lie cried, trying to wriggle away ; from it. “Don’t be a foal, Joseph Grimes,” said ! she firmly. “ You’ve got to be cured, and : you know it. Now take your hand away I from there. 1 can’t waste any more time.” j “ But it burns me ho, go! darn if,” he groaned, while tho tears started afresh down liis cheeks. “V.Tmt if it dues? It’ll do yon good,”! said she, beginning to grow exasperated j “’You must- have this plaster on at once, or ! I won’t try to do another thing for you,— i Here’s the afternoon half gone, and not a : single dish washed. Come, now, take your hand away.” He took liis hand nwav, but it was evi- j dent, in every vein and muscle of liis face, that he protested. “Wooh-oohi O, mercy,. Melinda !” he gasped, us ihjs whole surface of the poul tice touched him, and tlie sharp needles of flame stru into a million of pores. “Don’t hoi tlmt, Joseph Grimes,” commanded with a flush of anger, “or the neighbors in i lien*. I’d of myueli,” sh( j w.n! on ’o I" - cnnioi lin - form with evjrßPWMJpiHt, “to carry on j like tlmt. Why, I’d rather take care of! ten sick babies than you.” • j “X tell yon J can’t help it,” he sobbed, trying to wriggle away from the flame. -*- “0, gosh nil hemlock, how it burns mo.” “Lay still now, can’t ye?” she. demand ed. “A prettv town officer, you are— afraid of a little mustard.” “I don’t care what 1 am,” shrieked the second supervisor, “with this infernal stuff burning down inter inv vitals. <>, heavens ! O, mercy 1 O, thunder ! I can’t stand it another minit. Gosh (lain me if I bear this any longer. It’s scorch ing up to my bowels. ‘lt’s wlmop, mur der !” and thus screaming, Mr. Grimes bounded from the sofa, tore off the mad dening poultice, threw up the window, and hurled it passionately into the street. Then ho put down the sash with a slam, shot spitefully down into the first chair, und declared, by the heavens above him, that he’d be bent up like u hair-pin, with every bowel in a double bow-knot, before they could build any bonfires of mustard I on liis stomach. Then Mrs. Gaines returned to her din ner dishes, leaving tho second supervisor staring intently at the top round of an op posite chair. The Happy Medium.—There are society gills and home girls. One is tho kind j that appears best abroad—-the girls that j are good for parties, visits, balls, &e., j whoso chief delight is in all such things. I The other is the kind that appear best at. home, —the girls that are useful anil cheer- 1 ful in the dining room, the sick room, and the precincts of home. They differ widely in character. Olio is frequently a torment j at home, the other is a blessing. Oue is a j moth, consuming everything about her; the other is a sunbeam, inspiring life and ' gladness all along the pathway. Now it does not necessarily follow that there ; should be two classes of girls. The right j modification would modify them both a | little,,and unite both characters in one. “How is your Church getting on ?” asked ! a friend ofa rigorous Scotchman, who hud separated in turn Iroiu the Kirk, th'e'JlreO . Church, to United Presbyterian, and sev ; villi lesser bodies. “Pretty wocl, pretty , weel. There's nobody belongs to it now ! but my brother and myself, and. I!m nae t sure of Sandy's cuunduoss." MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. Don’t flirt with afuoL ItVbivl enough | to fool with ii flirt. I Ulciiso don't,” siiid Aiiffntitluo Broli *v, * I fiunouH J-’ivneh netrras, to a ponton w'lfii touched her foot under tlie table, "my l heart is old, und my hoots nre new.” . An elephant is 1,220,88(5 times largo? j than a (lea, but the Hen has canned 1,212<V j 880 times more profanity iu the world j tlmu the elephant.— Norristown Herald* If you intend to bug me. said a young 1 Indy to her sweetheart, dout do it suddenly,- because the chair you are sitting on has a ; broken leg, and you might get a tumble. A feunilo lawyer in Wyoming was re cently obliged- to suspend ber argument before a justice iii order to administer to Ihe wants of her baby, who Was arguing for its dinner in another room. U.ilgni- Poe said : “To villiCy a great man is the readiest way in w hich a little man can himself attain greatness. The eruh might never have become a constella tion but for ti e courage it evinced iu nib bling Hercules ou the heel. ‘ Mamma, where do the cows get tho milk?" asked Willie, looking up from a foaming pan of milk, which lie had been intently regarding. “Where do you get your tears ?” was tho answer. After a thoughtful silence, lie again broke out: “Mamma, do tho cotvs have to lie spank ed?" NO. 48. Girls should be warned of tlie danger they run in marrying railroad brnkemen.— An enthusiastic member of that fri toruity, I on being awakened tlfo other night from a dream of an impending crash by a train,- found himself up iu bed, holding liis site by tlie ears, having nearly twisted herb- ml off in his frantic efforts to “down brakes. Fix up my Li vf.k, —An English physici;-ti recently removed a section of a patient t liver, placed it ou a plate, scraped it caro fnlly, and returned it to its place, fully re turned to its normal action. This prom ises to work a revolution in tlie treatment of the disease, and ill a few years we will have an addition to domestic Uteratiiro sometlqng like this : “Husband, I wish i you would take John’s right lung down to tlie doctor this morning and have the mid dle valve fixed,” or "Will you step into (ho doctor’s when you come home this noon and see if he has Mary’s liver mend ed, ns she wants to go out to tea this eve ning ?” The practice wifi become so com mon in time, we nre sure, that noise oSttin neighbors will he in any way startled to sea a wife with a veil tied around her head leaning out of a bed-room window ni’itl shouting to a receding husband : “Jler e* mini) ! tell Dr. Scrnpen to Beud npAVillie’s right kidney at once, whether it is done or not, lie’s had it more’ll n week, nod-tile' child might us well be without any kiduev, and he do 10 with it.” A Dose.—A lunti living far from n-'V physician was fallen- suddenly ill. His family, in gvmt alarm, noB kuowiug w t, else to do, sent for a neighbor'who- hud' reputation for doctoring cows, “Can’t you give father somctJhing to help him?” asked one of his sons.. 1 Wa’al, 1 don’t know nothin' übout doc torin’ people.” “ Yon l now morn than we do, for you can doctor cows. Now what! do you glvo them when they're sick ?" “Wu’nl, I allers give cows saUselEpnoni salts. You might try that on him.” "How much shall wo gife him?" inquir ed the son. “Wa’al, I give cows jest a pound. I ■ oppose a mini is u (ipiirteciis big as a cow —give him a quarter of a pound 5 i”.’ There is a vast amount of truth in this pith summary v. liic-li the St. Louis Repub lican makes of Grant’s six yenroof l’resi denliul service "3k lias* established precedents whir h will vex us ns- (ing-'utrflie nation lives, atwl lie lias set r.-tt 1 exampln which embraces all those blunders-nml climes which the rulers of a- Cos conic should avoid: He-ilni,-wroitgilt .nore-dAiio age to the Republican system in these ms years than liis successors can repair in tllu next fifty, and by his principles aml'ac tioiiß, bus done moi’C t'o-dcmiowb wry public sentiment and weaken public confidences the stability of free institutions than all tho trials and tyrannies of civil war. And win these credentials, lie has tile magnifier t impudence to aspire to a tlliid'terin. ao-i there ure fools and knaves who'are willing, to encourage and assist him..’’’ Advice to a Girl who is-“Finished.’’ Josh Hilling gives the following : Get truth- Yu tell me yu have heel 2 years at a boarding school; and have just finished your eiiiikiishun, uud want to kli i what yu idiull do next. Listen, my gushing Gertrude, and I w i.l toll yu. Git up iu Ihe morning it) gotuV scirsom. go down- into the iKtobin, seize a peiht .> by the throat with one .thud and a knit.! with the other, skin the potato, an dozen more like it, stir up the bUckwb t ! batter, look iu the oven and see how t • biskitt are doing, bustle mound generally, stop on the cat’s tail, m:d l 'help yure p'”G, old mother git breakfast.. After breakfast put np the ynnpfaliii-.- ren’s luncheon for school, help-wash n the dishes, sweep sum, put things in ore’e-, ; and sumtime during.- tue day nit of li-.>t two inches and a half on sum one ov yiu ■ j brother's little blue woolen stockings h r j next winter. In other words, go to work ami nciko t yourself useful, now that yn have- bek'itm ornamental, and if yu Imv eny time, anil the duks have beet) fed, pitch into the pianlia, and make tho old rattle boxsk'reiim witli music!:. Do this for one year, and some likely ■ yung feller in the neighborhood will hang around yu, and say sweeter things than yu j ever heard before, and finally will give yu j a chance to keep house oil your own hook. You fuller mi udvice. Dirty, and see if. he does nut. What He Will See. Vice-President Wilson will soon com mence an extended tour throughout the South, for the purpose ot personally in specting its condition.— Ex. He will sec a church free from all the Urns promulgated from so many Northern pulpits, and oougregatious who worship, in humility, the trufrsnd living God. tie will see a people whose hospitality has and will continue to he shared by all who come in their midst, free from asu pieiot und clothed iu the garb -of fnvnd ship. He will look upon the faces- of those whose ancestors gavo freedom to the no tion, and in whose veins flow tire blood of ancestral pride with unceasing regu larity. He will sco t'.e representative men aud 1 women of what would be a great country, wore it not for the influx of the refuse of i Northern society. He will see a people proud and intelli gent, and willing subjects of j#st and>eoo u'oniical laws. | He will see, if be will look, the contrast' between the races, and go home fully con* viuced that all the legislation of a uatiou of legislators could not force universal | social equality upon the Southern , eoplev. j - Me Dcjfle Journal.