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GALLAHER'S INDEPENDENT, PUBLISHED EVERT SATURDAY AT QUITMAN, A., BY J. C. GALLAHER, TKUN4 OV CBS*RIPTIOX i TWO DOLLARS per Annum i> Atlmmce. THOMPSON’S DOG, JERRY. About one burnt red miles from Mobile, bn the bur.lea of the Tombigbeo river, there lived sn old planter named Thomp nou. Air. Thompson was a greet lover of horses ami dogs, particularly the hitter, And bis plantation was headquarters for the lovers of the canine race for miles around. Mr. Thompson had a son named William; we will call him Bill, because everybody called him by that name. Bill was about fourteen years of age Vrhen tbe'War- broke out, and it interfered 'with his father's plans concerning his edu ‘oation. However, the war ended, and ho 'Was sent to finish his studies at the Uni versity of Virginia. Bill remained at the university for about four years, and nt the expiration of thst time returned to his home. The old was very proud off Bill—indeed he had reasou t ‘ 1 H ” Imd grown to be a tall, elegantly formed m"* n > W( graceful manners and genteel appear ance. In his joy at his sons return, Mr. Thomp son hod provided nn elegant repast, and the ehte of the society were invited to wel come Bill home. The entertainment was numerously atteuded, and the occasion promised to be the one of the season, for the old gentleman and Bill were really great favorites. The old mansion was thronged with youth and beauty, and to the merry music of the dance the hours glided swifly away. Bill was congratulated over and over; bit the many congratulations that he re- cel vert occasioned the drinking of more whiskey tiiau be could carry, aurt liin fart of tlie reception was brought to a close by liia getting helplessly drunk, in which con dition he was fonurt l>y his father, under oue of the tables. The old gentleman, however, smothered his resentment, taking into consideration that this miglit have been nil accident, and that it would not again occur; but this hope was destined soon to he dispelled, for na o her fetes followed at other places, it was found that Bill was too fond of whis key, and that lo regularly enmo to grief at each entertainment. • Air. Thompson was not a man to very long tolerate sttch action on his son’s part, nud one morning, after one of Bill's ex cesses, he spoke to him concerning the matter. Bill could not deny it, and there was a poor chance for an apology. The gentleman became link a u lt'iic**, and thus .eldre->e*i him : ‘ Bill, I have raised you up ss carefully e.s ever u child was raised. You have disgraced me and my mini.. I had I 'tally hoped you would be an honor to me aud it. I'll have no more of tbit. You c.n remain hero il you want to, und this may tie your home Y m can have a horse to ride, and X wall clothe you decently; but," he added, with great emphasis, “you shall not hereafter get drunk, you shall either earn your mon ey or steal it.” It was in vain that Bill tried to apolo gize. The old gentleman would take no apology. The fiat had gone forth, and however dry his throat might be. Bill knew there would be no retraction of his father’s words. So i* concluded to lie a temperance man, but as is usnal in such cases, though ‘’the spirit was willing, the flesh Was weak." Bill's throat soon became very dry nud annoying, and at last he made up Ins mind that he ranst calculate upon some plan whereby he could get a drink of whiskey. In some of his readings, Bill remember ed tbe fable of “Tile Wise Dogs,” aud de termined to profit by it. Meeting his fath- j er one evening, about a month after tbe preceding lecture, be thus addressed him: “Father, do yon know anything about this colony of Yuukeos down bereatthe mouth of the river ?" “No, I don’t,” was the -reply, and a gruff one, too, for the old man didn’t like Yankees, and didn’t like to bear any k -thing nbout tuem. “Well, father, they must be n queer lot. They have got schools down there.” “Yes,” thundered his father, “schools for niggers. ” “Well,” replied Bill, “let's give the devil bis due; they teach white children, too.” “Yes,” said the old man, “they tench Hier lies; they teach them lies.” i’Well, I suppose they do," replied Bill, •‘but what I was going to speak of is that they have got a school for dogs 1” “A school for what?” “A school for dogs I They teach dogs to talk.” “Come, now. Bill, if you arc fool enough to believe such stuff, don't try to make ns big a fool of me ! Teach clogs to talk ! They may teach them to steal—l shouldn’t wonder if they did. But don’t teit me about this teaching dogs to talk 1” "Well, now, father. I respect every word you say," replied Bill, “hut I am bound as a gentlemen to respect what gentlemen say; and I have heard several talking about it. Really, I know nothing of the facts; but, as I said, I heard several speaking about ife and I believe it. I was down town the other day and your dog, Jerry, was with me, and a gentleman from Ten nessee noticed him as we were speaking of the schoo)c I asked him how long it would take for sdog like Jerry to learn how to talk, andihp said a dog as knowing as Jer ry will in, three months, and ho said a good never would learn, i Bill’ll, pmises of Jerry did not go unno *■ 'iced _ ‘ H there w.ajs any one thing that the VOL. TT. old gentleman fully believed, it was that there was never another dog that knew as j much os Jerry. The conversation for this thae termina ted, but Bill somehow felt that his father would mention the subject agaiu, and ho was not mistaken. A few days after the above dialogue, the old gentleman met Bill and thus addressed him; “Bill, do you really lie.ieve that Jar rv could learn to talk ?" , “I certainly believe it,” Bill replied. “Bo you know bow much they charge down there t" “Well,” replied Bill, “I believe they charge twenty live dollars admission, and then teD dollars a mouth for board and tui tion for whatever time it takes.” “Bill, how much would it cost for you to take Jerry down there and put him to school nad come back; make up the fig ures, and if it ain’t too much. I’ll have you ►go and. iwn Slid put him to school. ” Bill figured up the amount uud came to the conclusion that about seventy-five dol lars would defray the necessary espouses, uud so apprized his father. “Well, now, Bill, the Osage is coming down tna river this afternoon; yon got ready ami take Jerry down there, and put him to school, if you find the rehool all right ;if not. you bring him home. I wouldn’t sell him for a thousand dollars, and if any dog can learn to talk, Jerry is the dog.” The grass did not grow under Bill’s fget in getting ready, and at five in the af ternoon he got ou board the steamer, Osage,, which was bound down the river to Mobile. Bill was not long on board before he had tho whiskey ho so much longed for; and by eight o’clock in the evening he was as drunk as a lord, and had already got into a tight. Poor Jerry, seeing his ■ master rather roughly handled, took a, share iu it, and biting one of tho parties engaged, was quickly set upon and knock-; od over the side of the Is nit, and falling just in front of tho paddle-wheel, was' struck by it, and instantly killed. Bill did not discover the loss of the dog j until the steamer arrived at Mobile; and it was to that place that ho had originally j deti-rmim Jto go. His astonishment and sorrow at the loss of bis father's favorite dug were very great, anil it moreover ne- j oessitated all the strategy Bill possessed to ] bring his original plans t-o anything like a j successful ending. He had originally intended ! a take his ; •do* with him to Ai< Whs, . ’ > ;ir„;,ig I to his home to declare to Iris father that | ho had been misinformed, that the school j was a humbug, and the preteude.l teachers I knaves; and he well knew that- so great was I his father's dislike for anything Yankee 1 that he would escape without any veiy severe cross-examination, The killing of i the dog had up set all Bill's reckoning, 1 and he was compelled to frame anew j story, which, as the sequel-will show, ho; successfully did. After remaining for about a week at Mo-; liile, and having pretty nearly exhausted 1 his cash in hand, Bill started for home. — llis father mot him at the landing and t asked him many questions concerning Jer- ’ ry’s chances of learning to talk. Bill do- : ; clared that there was no doubt of his abil ity to learn; that he had seen many dogs not Inrtf as knowing as Jerry who could I ! talk quite well; and the result was that the old gentleman was much elated with the I idea of possessing such a wonderful being j as a dog that could talk, j Before tho end of the two months, j which Bill declared would bo sufficient to ! give Jerry a decent education, Mr. 'i'lipmp : son had become quite impatient to hear I concerning Jerry’s progress, and Bill had j written several letters by his father’s or j ders to ascertain how he w as getting along, but strange as it seemed, no reply was | received to any of them, and at lust. Bill ; was ordered to get ready and go down and ! see about Jerry, and bring him home, if i only for a visit. Bill agaiu went down the river on the | samo steamer by which he went on his j previous trip, and with very much the same results, so fur as his own conduct was concerned, until he returned home. This time bis father did not meet him at the lauding, to Bib’s great relief, but soicrly waited for him at the house. The old gentleman’s disappointment can j better be imagined than described, when Bill came into the house alone, for he had j not the slightest doubt that.his favorite j dog, fully informed on subjects in general, i would soon delight iiis ears with a hearty “good evening"in place of his accustomed familiar bark. j “Bill," said his father, “where’s Jerry?” Bill made no reply. say, Bill, where’s Jerry?" “Jerry’s dead, father.” “Dead I” ! “Yes, dead.” “How did he die?” “I killed him,” coolly replied Bill. “You killed him ! You kitted Jerry?” “Yes, father, I killed blip.” “You rascal”—— “Hear me, father," interrupted Bill.— | “Let me tell my story, and if you think I ! did wrong, you can abuse me and do and ! say what yon like.” “I went down to the school,” continued 1 Bill, “and I was there all through the ex | animation. Jerry could talk as well as I ; can ! They said he was. the smartest dog j they ever saw ! We came down aboard the steamer, and Jerry sat up, in a chair, and, as the ladies, whom he had seen before, Vcarnc one by one into the cabin,. Jerry QUITMAN, (tA., FRIDAY, APRIL 23, 1875. j would say ‘good morning, Mrs. .Smith,’ or i ‘good morning, Mrs. Jones,’ and ho look | ed as stately as a judge. “Well father, at last we got started away j from the landing. Perhaps we had got a ! half a mile away, and the Indies won look [ ing wit of the windows, and J“rry was j still silting in his clmir, when all of a sud ! den he turns round to mo and says: ‘Bill, j how are you, my hoy ?” I says, “I’m all right.” “How’s the old mau?” says lie. “All right,” I replied. “How’s the old woman ?" says Jerry. “Now, father, I didn’t like to hear him speak as he did about you, and when he called you the olil man, I couldn’t staud it very well, but when ho spoke that way about mother, I couldn’t bear it at all ; still I didn’t want any fuss, because yon thought so much of him, so I didoYsey j anything, only to say she was well. “Just then be looked around, and, speak ing right loud, he says : ‘Bill, does the old man hug and kiss the cook us much as i lie used to?’ I didn't reply, and ho kept I on : ‘Bill,’says he, ‘l’ve seen the old mau kiss tlio cook, Louise, I mean, more than j fifty times, and I’ll tell the old woman when I get home. Won’t she give it to ' the old man 1’ “Father, I couldn't stand it It was right before the ladies. 1 got up and I took Jerry by the throat, and says I, ‘You lying dog, I’ll choke you to death. This comes of jour cursed Yankee education.— I might have known they’d teach you to slander your friends.’ “Well, father, the villain tried to bite me. I had him by the throat, and —I do not know what I was going to do with him, I was so enraged, but I carried him out on the deck, when he tried to bite me worse than ever. I went to kick him, and somehow—l was too angry to recollect just how—lie either jumped overboard, or I threw him overboard, and the wheel struck him and killed him. “Now, father, 1 have done. If you blame me, 1 must bear it, but I really was glad ho was dead, when I came to myself, for I thought what trouble ho would make with his lies.” The old gentleman was pale as a ghost. “Bi'l," said he, “you did right. I ought to have known that he’d lie if he could talk. Bill, here’s a hundred dollars. Don’t go and get drunk on this motley now, but Bid, don’t you say rnythiug about this yon have told. Jerry was a mighty smart dog, but somehow," he added, it; an ms dertoue, “I have always had all iifan that that dog was watching me.”— Metropolitan. *•* -- lls.pr y Husbands. That is a good-natured man that writes that it is u uau's own fault if he is un happy with his wife, in nine cases out of ten. It. is a very exceptional w oman who will not l>e all she can be to an attentive husband, and a moro exceptional one will not be very disagreeable if she finds her self willfully neglected. It would bo very i easy to hate a man who, having bound a woman to him, made no effort to make her happy; hard not to love one who was eou i stunt and tender; and when a woman loves | she tries to please. The great men of this : woild have often been wretched in their domestic relations, while mean and com : mon men have been exceedingly happy. The reasou is very plain. Absorbed in ; themselves, those who desired the world’s | applause were careless of the little world i at home, while those who had none of the | egotism strove to keep the hearts that. | were their own, and were happy in their ; tenderness. No woman will love a man 1 the better for being renowned or promi nent. Though he be first among men, I she will only be prouder, not fonder; and ! if she loses him through this renown, as is i often the ease, she will not even be proud. But give her love, appreciation, kindness, ! and there is no sacrifice she would not ; make for his content and comfort. The ] man who loves her well is her hero and j her king. No less a hero to her though | he is not one to any other; no less a king I though his only kingdom is her heart and 1 home. Humor and Sarcasm. It is not everybody who knows tvhero to joke, or when, or how; and whosoever is ignorant of these conditions had bettor not joke at, all. A gentleman never attempts to be humorous at the expense of people with whom he is but slightly acquainted. In fact, it is neither good manners nor wise policy to joke at any body’s expense; that is to say, to make any body uncom fortable merely to raise a laugh. Old JEnop, who was doubtless the subject of many a jibe on account of his humped back, tells the whole-story in his futile of “The Boys and Frogs.” What was fun to the youngsters was death to the croak j■. A jest may cut deeper than a curse, j Some men are so constituted that they ! cannot take a friendly joke in the same | light coin, and will requite it with con | tamely and insult. Never banter one of ! this class, or he will brood over your bad ! inage long after you have forgotten it, and ! it is not prudent to incur any one’s enmity i tor the sake of uttering a smart double en \ tendre or a tart repartee. Ridicule, at I best, is a perilous weapon. Satire, how ; ever, when levelled at social foibles and | political evils, is not only legitimate, but \ commendable. It has shamed down more I abuses than were ever abolished by force ! of logic. — | New Bedford has but one whaler left— A schoolmaster. A Discouraged Boy, Crabapple’s hoy hud read that touching Thanksgiving story about the chap who ran away from home w hen a boy, and went to sea, and was not heard of for years and years; and how every T aukagiving day lUe mother act a plate for the wanderer, i and kept a seat, for him nt the table, and hmv the gray-haired sire, when he olihrud a blessing, prayed for his wayward son prayed that, ho might return in safety to the putenml roof. And then, one Thanksgiving dav, when they had about given him up for dead, al though the plat* arid vacant chair told the story of a mother’s undying hopes, just, as the family lmd sat down to the Thanks giving dinuer, there came a rap at tho door. "Gome in 1" cried the sire, and in hounded the boy in a sailor jacket and u tarpaulin hat just, borne from a whaling voyage. Such rejoicing ns there was in that house. How his t 'her shook both hia hands, and how his tether wept over him and embraced him, and how all the brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, hung around his legs and tugged at his sailor jacket. jJ’Twaa worth braving the dangers of the sea ; to meet with such a welcome on Iris return. He sat at the feast in the chair that u mother’s deathb'ss love, and hope, and recollection had always placed for him, and never was there a happier Thanksgiv ing since that cherished aunivoranry was invented. Orabapple's boy wept over that story every tin.-e he read it, and he got to won dering whether such a fuss would bo made over him should ho run away from home, and then turn up again some Thanksgiv ing day. He thought about it so much that he finally determined to test the business, anyhow. Ho would see how the people would act when ho played the prodigal’s rettn'u. So about a week from Thanks giving he lull away from home. He didn't go to sea, because the sea was toe far off, and he couldn't make much of a voyage in a week anyhow, lie got a job iu It tnnyard, grinding lim it, which answered all the pur poses, for he could imagine Iris “bark was on the sea,” as ho rode tho old horse around the circle. He culled tho mill the world, and imagined himself sailing around tlie world at every revolution. With a beating heart he approached the paternal mansion. Ho looked in'at the window anil saw tlm folks just sitting down to tlm Thanksgiving supper. A chill of disappointment crept over him as he saw there was no vacuvit chair, and there wasn’t nn idle plate on t tie table. He listened at the door ss the blessing was asked, but although several prophets were honored with it Haltering notice, his name Wasn't mentioned. This was a little hard on the boy who bad run away from home and was liable to tarn up on that or any j succeeding Thanksgiving day. Recollections of him didn’t, seem to; cluster around the hearthsftme ty any very 1 great extend. | lb-pressing n chilling foreboding lin'd. arose in bis breast, he flung open the door, | rushed into their midst, and exclaimed— j “Father I mother! ’lts I, Hnmniy (Irnliup-j pie! home again ! home! home!” and then throw himself on his father's breast, j sobbing convulsively. What i id that father do ? Bid he hug him and sob tears over him, and call him his “long lost l>o-bo-boy V” Not much. He took him by the collar, led him into the wood-shed, and worked over him more than an hour with a barrel-slave, his brothers and sisters dancing around on the buck stoop in an eestaev of delight, while his mother screamed, “That's right, Ambus; give it to him 1 Learn him bet ter'll to run away from home again !’’ Then lie was sent to bad without any Thanksgiving supper at all, and threatened with being deprived of both Christmas and New Year’s dinners. Stmn go Matches. It is an historical fact that Frederick of j Prussia fArm'od the idea of compelling on- j ions between the tallest of the two sexes iu iris dominions, iu the hope of having an army of giants. The reader will, iu all probability, recollect the following lu dicrous iucident: It so happened that du ring a nil her long ride, the king paused a particularly tall young woman, nu utter stranger. He alighted from Iris horse, and insisted upon her delivering u letter to the commanding otlicer of ins crack regiment. The let ter contained tho man date that the bearer was instantly to be married to the tallest unmarried man iu j the service, The young woman was some- j what terrified, and, not understanding the i transaction, gave an old woman the letter, I which was conveyed to the commanding [ officer, and this oid woman was, in a short j time, married to the handsomest and finest j man in the crack regiment. It is not nec- j Canary to say that the marriage woe au nn- ; happy one—particularly so to the old wo- man. Ju this connection comes another nnec- j dote. A rich saddler directed in his will j that his only child, a daughter, should be j deprived of the whole of the fortune tin less she married a saddler. A young earl, in order to win the bride, actually served j an apprenticeship of seven years to a sad-: dler, and afterwards bound himself to. the | rich saddler’s daughter for life. But the ] union was anything but a happy one; the ; bride, neither by birth, nor breeding a 1 lady, reflected little credit on her bride- j groom’s choice; and repeated quarrels I were followed by separation, bo it is i with fill unequal matches; gold and brass j won’t unite. Common-sense says, “Young* folk, marry within tho boundary of your j social and religious circle.” There, is then, no reasonable ground ' for complaint and recrimination. Many matches which might, with ordinary pru- ; deuce, have proved at- least moderately comfortable, so for as regards the dispo.-i-1 lions of the parties, have, through tlioine quality of their social relations, proved miserable, because, like the Prussian king, they did not well consider wiiat they were about. Rights and Lefts.— Charles Dickens, who, like many men of letters, contemned the Women’s Rights movement, used to. repeat, with never failing admiration, the jest of a lively lady, who, when the subject of strong-minded women” was being dis- j cussed, made this remark : “I notice i that those women’s right people are invari ably men’s lefts.” The joke is a good or.e; ; but a host of our charming lady lecturers prove in their own persons that by it truth was for the thousandth tirno sacrificed ,to wit THE RELIGIOUS 0 A BD PL AYER. A private soldier by tho name of Rich ard Lee was taken before, tho magistrates* of Glasgow for playing cards during di vine service. Tho account of it is thus given in an English journal : “Asergeant commanded the soldiers at church, and ! while there the paison hml read the prayers and took tho text. Those who had a liililo took it out, but this soldier ! had neither 1 Bible nor common prayer book, but, pulling out a pack of cards he spread them before him. He first looked at oue card and then at another. The sergeant of tho company saw him, and said : “Richard, pnt up tho cards, this is no place for them. ” “Nevermind that,” said Richard. When tho’ services were over the consta ble took UictiArd a prisoner and brought him before tho Mayor. “Well,"said the Mayor, “What have you brought the sol dier here for?” "For pluyipg cards in the church.” “Well, soldier, what have you to say for yourself? ’ “Much, sir, I hope.” “Very good; if not, I will punish yon severely.” “1 have been,” said the soldier, “about six weeks on the march. 1 have neither Bilde nor common prayer book. I have nothing but a puck of cards, and hope to satisfy your worship of the purity of my intentions." Then spreading the cards be fore the Mny%r, lie begau with the see : “When 1 see the nee it reminds me that there is but one God. When Isee Uiedeticc it reminds mo of Father and Son. “When I see the tray it reminds me of Father, Son and Holy Ghost. When I see the four it reminds me of the four evangelists that preached—Mathew, Mark, Luke mid John. “When I see the five it reminds me of tho five wise virgius that trimmed their lamps. There were ten, but five were wise and five were foolish, and were shut, out.. “When I see the six it reminds me that in six days tho lord made heaven and earth. “When I Hee the seven it reminds me that on the seventh day God rested from the great work which ho made and hal lowed it. “When I see the eight, it reminds me of the eight, righteous persons who were saved when God destroyed the world, viz: Noah, and his wife, his two sous, and their wives. “When I sec the nine it reminds me of the nine lepers Mint were cleansed by our Saviour. There were nine out of ten who never returned thanks. “When I. see the ten it reminds me of the ten commandments which God hand ed down to Moses on the tables of atone, "When T. see tlieKing, it reminds me of the great King of Heaven, which is our God Almighty. “When j see the Queen, it reminds me • J the Queen Of Sheba, who visited Solo mon, for she was as wise a woman as he was a man. She brought fifty boys and fifty girls, all dressed in hoys’ apparel, for King Solomon to tell which were boys and which were girls. The King sent for wa ter for them to wash. The girls washed to the. elbows and the hoys to the wrists ;so King Solomon told by that.” “Well,” said the Mayor, “von have des cribed every cal'd ill the pack except oue.” “What is that?” “The knave,” said the Mayor. “I will give your honor a description of that too, if you will not be angry.” “I will not,” said the Mayor, “if you do not term me to lie the knave.” “The greatest knave I knew of is the constable who brought, me here.” “I do not know," said the Mayor, “if he is the greatest knave, but I know be is tho greatest fool.” “When I count how ninny spots there are in a pack of cards, I find three hun dred and sixty-five, as many days as there aro iu a year. When I count the number of cards in a pack I find fifty-two—the number of weeks iu a year. I find there are twelve picture cards in a pack, repre senting tho number of months in u year, and on counting the tricks-1 find thirteen —the number of weeks in a quarter. “So you see a puck of cards serve for a Bible, almanac uud common prayer-book.” Schicvkn Counts. Gems of Thought. Retaliation is simply meanness for mean ness, debasement for debasement, coward ice for cowardice. Knowledge may slumber in the memory but it never dies ; it is like the dormouse in the ivied tower, that sleeps while winter lasts, but awakens with the warm breath of spring. The Husband. —Worn an sometimes do not value their husbands as they ought. They not mi frequently learn the value of a good husband for the first time by the loss of him. Yet the husband is the very roof tree of the house, the corner stono of the edifice, the key stone of tho arch called j home, Ssrow.—The world is ■crazy for show. There is not one perhaps in a thousand who dares full back on liis real, simple self for power to get through the world, aud exact enjoyment as lie goes along.— There Is no end to tho apeing, the mimi cry, the false uml superficial airs. It re quires rare courage, we admit, to live up to one’s enlightened convictions iu these days. Unless you consent to join iu the general cheat, there is no room for you among the great mob of pretenders. If a roan desires to live within his means,, and is resolute in liis purpose not to appear more than he really in, let him be applaud ed. There is something fresh and invigo rating in such ail example, and we should honor and uphold such a man with ail the energy in our power. Half the success of man with man he owes to tho lessons woman has tanght him, aud, by a strange perversion of jus tice, by a violation of gratitude, most of I his success with woman likewise. That site should give into his hands the weapons ' ho turns against her reveals the sarcasm of | destiny. I Three counterfeiters wero arrested, at i Fort Valley, Ga., on the 17tL inst. Woman a Beast of Burden. With all their fine culture and artistic 1 instincts, tho Germans are not admirable in the arts and elegancies of life. There ' is among men none of tho chivalrous def j erenee mid regard for women that marks j American mauhood. Ju the upper ranks women hold a tolerable place, but iu the lower and middle stations, she is a breeder or beast of burden, merely ; in the lower ranks she is merely the latter, a boast of harden. Tho work that men do ju America ia done wholly by women here. There is no kind of farm work that they do not per- ! form; no manual labor iu field, or manu factory that they are not called ou to do. Indeed, there are but two classes of labor ers in the German cities and villages, men over 45 and women of all ages. The youth of the land, a lien too old to go to school, must go into the army, the daughters must tako their plnees ju tho field. You may walk from The Rhine to the Danube, and you will s*9 in all the operations of toil, on the farm especially, seven women to one man at work 1 Under these conditions is it wonderful that German women are shriveled and unlovely ? That softness of voice or delicacy of feature have perished wholly from the femiuiue part of the pop ulation ? You will find fine looking men, for army life is by gno means laborious. Reflecting on the conditions under which these latter generutioua of Germans entno 1 into tho world, it is simply marvelous that the whole race is uot one of hideous do- j formity and mental imbecility. It is im possible to think that this race of mothers could bear anything else than physically decrepit and moutaHy imperfect beings. It is atrocious enough to see women doing tlm hardest labor of men in the field, but German life exhibits other phases of fem inine usefulues, to which this ia the lilies and langurs of life. In every conutry of Germany it is a common practice for wo men to do the work of horses. You may see it in this elegant capital of Breeden and in the surrounding villages, if you walk a block. With wide straps over their shoulders and across their breasts, their feet shod iu wooden shoes, their hands generally hare, the women of the land may lilt seen in masses taking the places of bor ses, day in and dny out, through every province of Germany. These masters of the European world sen nothing wrong iu Huh. They continue on their way perfect ing the machinery of war, swallowing up the manhood of the nation in the pursuit, of dominion. At America, and her ways, means, and people, the Ginnnn raises the voice of scorn. A benighted people, they say, in the wilderness as to education, und barbarous as to manners. None but tlm Germans know how to enjoy life ration ally, the* as good as declare. Meantime, what is the enjoyment of tho millions of mothers who share the harness before don key cults with cows and dogs ? If wu have no unaversities of Heidlcbers, Liop sie, Bonn and Berlin, with their wonder ful diiliisions of practical and elegant 1 m a in p, wo have J -/ this 'ecgrt.d:itii tl 1 at least. From five in the morning until j long after dark at night us you staud by \ the city gates you will see this singular! spectacle kept up, the employes present- j ing th'e same general nppearnce, Lore a woman and two dogs, there a woman and { a cow, and presently two women and no I dog, and so on. These carts supply the produce of daily consumption in the towns wood, ooul, potatoes, and the, like. In most eases the head of the house accompa nies these novel cortege, but never in har ness. He holds tho reins, or the whip, and smokes the stump that yon invariably see in tho German’s teeth. Having dis posed of the load by dint of tugging through miles of cobbled streets, the wea ry women return at night homeward, the masters of the cortege, who aided with iris counsel only in the work of tho day, not uufrequently stretching himself in the empty cart to be hauled home by the do cile drudges of Iris household. Yet these are the mothers of the sous that conquer ed tho first military nation ot Europe, France. Even under the bast conditions, women do not hold the place in Germany that is conceded to them iu America. A mini’s wife is virtually his chattel. The law awards it so, and custom sanctions it. This is marked in a hundred ways. In the streets, for instance, there is none of the respectful courtesy shown 1 the sex that may be semi in the remotest back wood town of America. The side-walks in all the German cities, save the new part of Berlin, are merely single blocks of pave ment jutting from the building. No matter how wet tho day or how muddy thostreeta a German never thinks of stepping out to give the lady tho walk. Quite the con trary, if she doesn’t flee she is rudely jos tled into the slush us if she was a beast. The Imaginative Sex. Mr. T. W. Higginson believes in imagi nation, and that women excel in that high province of mind. Ho says: “I rejoice that iu women, at least, here, ns in Ger many, the imaginative faculty still retains Us hold. I remem be l that wueu Mr, Em erson was lecturing iu Boston, many years ago, an eminent lawyer declined going to hear him on the ground that Mr. Emerson was so hard to comprehend; ‘but,’ lie added, ‘my daughters understand him and they go.’ The remark was generally quoted by the lawyer’s admirers us good satire, aud by Mr. Emerson’s admirers as good praise. Lot any one notice in our high schools, where hoys and girls recite together, which sex cares the most for lit- and he will hud that if literatme is of any value, the preference affords grounds on which the intellect of women may he defended. Cotton Mater says that Arina supported his blasphemies by first converting five hundred virgins thereunto; and most of our poets have first won their way by enlisting and admiring constitu ency of women. The imaginative dispo sition is there, in the feminine nature; hut if women have not criticised as profoundly and created as grandly, even in literature and art us men, it is owing to other caus es, often expounded and forming a part of the general intellectual discouragement undos which they have labored.. Woman lias at last fought her way into the field of fiction aud now stands at its head, both in quantity and quality of work; hut it is true, even hero, that she inis fought her way through sneers and discourage ment. It is a significant fact that the two greatest living masters of fiction are wo men who have found it to their advantage to write under the names of men.” [George Idiot and George Sand.] It is suggested to tho political revivalists that all the bahl-beaded men might re vive the ’Whig party, MISCELLANEOUS. “I always thought I should never rear that child,” said an old lady of 90on beur ing of tho death of her bob, aged 70. Josh Billings says: "Never do any work before breakfast, if it is necessary to work before breakfast, have your break fast first." An Oregon paper offers ftftepn cents a bushel for manuscript poems—if they are mi good paper hud written on one side of the sheet. Mark Twain says: “To the poor whites along tho Mississippi river chills are a merciful provision of Providence, enabling them to take exercise without exertion.” The man who predicted a mild wiuter because corn-husks wore thin, was found frozen to death in a corn-field tho other day a few miles from Dayton, They bo iled liiiu close to the ground-hog. Tho New Orleans Times thinks n war between the United States mid Mexico is imminent, growing out of the Mexican de predations ou Texas frontier. NO. 50. I'm sorry to bear of your embarrass ■mint," said a gentleman to a frieud who had failed heavily "Not at all,” said the latter; “Keep your sympathy for iny creditors; it is they who are embarrassed. Bore’s picture of the “Seventh Oriole of Dante’s Hell,” contains9oofigures. Those in tho foreground uro tho size of life. They are grouped in a efrelo shout Danta and Virgil, who are ou a central eminence. T‘ An arteiioii well in Mission Buy near Hum I raucisco, over half a milo from the shore. It is 200 foot, deep, and through a pipe eleven inches in diameter furnishes 100,000 gallons of pure fresh wa ter every twenty-four hours. At a horticultural exhibition in Paris last full, several gourds worn exhibited that had gourds of other varieties grafted on them. The operation was performed by introducing the stem of a gourd through the skin of one to which it was to be joined. The six follies of science are said to be the following : The quadrate of the cirele, the establishment, of perpetual motion, the philosopher’s stone, tho transmutation of metals, divination, or the discovery of se crets by magic, uud, lastly, judicial astiol- ‘ ogy. A sensible girl declined to engage her self to the object of her affections until his father had given a written guarantee that his sou was not only sound “in wind and ] lunb,” but of good morals, gentle, and warranted to behave both “in single and double harness. ” The girl didn’t intend to be seen in a divorce court. A genial bald headed gentlemen, while in Paris, went one day to the Zoological Gardens. The weather was warms Mid ho lay down on a bench. Presently lie fell asleep, and was aroused by a warmth about tho bead. An infatuated ostrich had cornu along, and, mistaking his head for nn egg, settled down with the determination to hatch it. The now Encyclopedia Br:tara*tfliys) : ' “If the nntural resources of America wero fully developed it would afford sustenance to il, GOO, 000,00(1 inhabitants—- number five times as great us tho entire mass of Unman beings now existing oa Hie globe. And, wlint is even more surprising, it is not more iuiprobuble that this prodigious population will be iu existence within three or four centuries.” A lady wont k> jmy iinf respects to ono of jK !..*• • * ': eg o list of baby* hood, when"fhi! hlflWing colloquy took place between her and the little foup-yean old sister of the new comer : “PVe come for that baby now,” said tb.T lady. “You can't have it, ’ was tho reply. “But I must have it—l catne over ou purpose," urged the visitor. “We ciin-’lt spare it all,’’ persisted the child; "but I’D get apiece off paper and you can cut a yatcmi.." Coughing can sometimes be stopped by pressing on the nerves of the lip in tho neighborhood of Hie nose. A pressure there will almost certainly prevent a cough when it is beginning. It ia generally known that sneezing may be stopped by this plan, but it is new to many that it can check coughing. Pressing right iu front of the ear may also stop coughing. It is also preventive of hiccough, hilt innoh less so thnt of coughing or sneezing. Mixrd Paries.—At a dancing party iu Western Kentucky tho other night, to which several women came with babies, some young men changed the clothes of the infants while theia parents were dan cing, and mixed them up generally. The following day there was a great row, and ns tiio families lived miles apart, it took several days to unmix the children. Picked- Up. —An Irishman, addicted to telling strange stories, said he saw n mnn beheaded, with his hands tied behind him, who directly picked up his head and put it ou his shoulders in the right place “Ha! ha! hn !” said a bystander ; "bow Could he pick up his head when his hands wero tied behind him?" “And, shnre, what n pnrtyfool ye ate l' said Pat. “And couldn’t be pick it up. with lri*teeth ? To ould Nick wfd yoirr botheration !’’ . A Sad Exteriencb. After shaking hands at the ferry dock the other day, one colored man inquired of another : “Didn’t you marry do widder Jones about de fust of Jinunry ?” “Dal’s me, I did,” w as the answer, “but I’ve done left her.” “Who 1 how’s dat ?” “Well, de fust week she nailed me ‘hon ey;’do next week she sulked around aud called mo ‘ole Richards;’ do next week she cum for me wid a flat-iron and broke two ribs, and I’m gwine to keep right away from Uur.” Roosters, says Josh Billings, are the pu gulists among birds, and, having no suit iibio shoulder they strike from) tiia- heel: If a rooster gits whipped the liens- march off with the other rooster, if he ain’t half so big or as lmnsunn It is pluck that wins a lien. Roosters, as a class, wont do j any household w-orkjyu can’t get a rooster 1 to pay enuy attention tew a young one. They spend most of their time-in crowing and strutting, and once in-a while they find a worm, which they make a great fuss over, calling their wives- from a great distance, apparently to treaWbam, but just as the liens git tharo, this elegant cuss bends over and gobble*.up the worm. Just like a man for all tile world ! The Augusta (Me.) Jljumial tells a strange story of a young: man at Vassal- , boro, who a few days ago apparently died of consumption, with which lie lirnl long been sick. The body was- prepared for burial, but us it was nbonktn be placed iu the coilin life seemed to return, and though for weeks he hail not been: able to articu late, be begun to speak iu u clear voice, telling of what lie had seen in the other world, whither he seemed to have been after a few moment* of darkness. He ap peared to be in perfect health, and des cribed bis experience in luugnnge which seemed extravagant to his hearers, who 1 came in from all the, neighborhood to 1 lis -1 ten to him, but, before night he bank away - again, and uo signs of life appearing fiT. j sievelal days, he was finally buried.