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GALLAHER S INDEPENDENT, PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY AT # * B ■*' fl f 1- $ ' ¥ * * QUITMAS, OA^ BY J. C. GALLAHER. •**§ - TKKM 09 Sl’BftC IUPTION i TIFO DOLLARS per Annum in Advance. , U A Soft Answer Turnetli Away Wrath.” BY*?. WELMNUTON WKLOH. Speak gently to tly father, For he is aged now; The frost of many winter* Are resting on his brow: Boon, soon above hi* aged form The churchyard Hovers will bloom. Speak gently to thy mothter— She who gave the birth; She wat&ied o’er thee in infancy, And guarded thee in youth: She, too, will soon be called away To a better laud above— Speak gently to thy mother * The words of deepest t lov§. Speak gently to thy sister— Thee she doth foudly love; Oh, never let an unkiud word Her gentle spirit move; When o't.xi*' r pathway storm-clouds rise, Bediraing life’s young day, Oh, strive by gentle word* and kind To drive that gloom away. Speak , tfce‘fcd>J|rner— Perchance thoa, too, maystknow What ! tia to feel misfortune’s blight, Or plhs through scenes of woe; Then ever use the gentlest words To those with downcast eyes: So Bhalt thou reap a rich reward In the world beyond the skies. Speak gently thy fellow-man, Of high or lowly birth— Speak gently to him, be he poor Or rich in things of earth; Bpnakigently, tbn, to every one— Kind worda will cost thee nothing, And every one will prove a star In the crown of Hiy rejoicing. THE CJLONELS SECOND WIFE "What! her dowry ten thousand, and her uge under eighteen ! You urea lucky dog, Hewett ! Ofcourse it's a love match?” "I flatter myself, yes, op the lady’s part, at least;” and the speaker, a tall,, rather handsome man drewliirasclf up supercili ously ; "though, ill foot, it is a family ar rangement.” How is that ?” "Why, you see, Golonel Harding was my fatfier;Geueral Hewett’s greatest chum When dying, he left me and my future to the former’s guardianship ; a trust he saw no better nor more friendly way of carry ing out than by an engi-gemejt jictween myself ad his j,lipmliUr —the sole in heritor of a rich aiiiit’s Wealth." ' * r'ome people fall into phasing places, certaiuly. When is it, to lie ?” *lu a month. I fancy, since the Colo lonel has been such a dotard as to take home a secoud wife, he would rather have bis daughter's rood) than h*r onnrpanv. “Possibly. Duced pu tty won) an Mrs. Harding—eh ? Very sparkling, self-willed ami fast, l ui sure, will want a tight curb, but will pqll hard I imagiue the Culouel will have his bands full, an 1 need to keep his eyes open. They have been married a year, ami witlUa til* last month l have no tined he is preoccupied, while two wrinkles have appeared on his forehead. “When will these old fellows,” laughed his friend, “take the lesson Pope has so graphically read ns—December must not wed May I Ta, ta ! Remember I’m booked for the Benedict ceremony. ” The two gentlemen between whom the above couversution passed on the steps of a West End club now parted—the one ad dressed as Hewett, known among his less familiars as Capt. Hewett, proceeding to go by train to Colouel Hardi tig's villa, at Richmond. Arriving there, in due course, he wus speedily introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Har ding ; after exchanging greetings with Whom, he was summoned to see the Colo nel in the library. The ladies were sur prised at the baste displayed, and could n<# refrain from remarkiug on the sub ject. “Whatever is that for ?’’ Kate remarked, when the officer had gone. “To wgn your marriage-settlement," smiled Mrs. Harding “Nonsense 1 By the way, mama, do you not think papa has looked altered lately ‘ 'For many days I have seen it, Kate. I fear something is wrong.” “Then I fancy be might confide it to you instead of the Captain.” “True r Mrs. HardingV lips percept ibly contracted; thou she added—“ Kate, 1 forgot to tell my maid aboutthe trimmings for my dress nett Friday. Would you grind doing so ?” Bising, the young girl readily weut on her mission, when the other's entire fan ner cliauged. Her expression became grave and perplexed. She cast aside lier work and leaned her bead upon her hand. “Can my husband possible suspect ?" she murmured. “There is a change in him ! Kate sees it, too ! Then there must be a cause I Can he have found us out ? If so, everything is ruined—ruined 1” She paused ; then added—“l must be certain —I will !” Hurriedly throwing a shawl of Kate’s that had laid on a sofa near, about her, she passed through the open glass door into the flower-garden. Going to the side of the villa cautiously she crept through a shrubbery of lilacs and syringas, nntil she come within sight and hearing of the two in the library, the window of which was open. Charles Hewett was leaning back in a phair ; the Colonel, a handsome, elderly, military'looking man, sat by the table, his brows contracted, his features expressive pf pin and aDger blended. He bed evi- (Sallal)cr’s 3ni>funuVnt. VOL. 111. j dently been speaking vehemently, and ex j claimed, as the .atener came within range —“I wouldn't have believed it of her lOf idl women, I would have staked my life on the fidelity of Constance 1 When you hinted that you had seen a fellow lounging about the villa, I thought nothing about it; but Jackson, the under gardener, de clares it is so. ” The listener became livid with rage. Her suspicious were well founded. "What do youjintend doing?” asked Captain Hewett. "That is my perplexity. To accuse her on the word of an under-gardener seems preposterousand the Colouel uneasily drummed the table with his fingers. “Something must Ire done,” he said, ‘or I shall go mad. I can't support this ter rible suspicion, for—l dont mind confess ! ing it to yon, George, who soon will be my I son—l love Constance devotedly. What i was that ? Why, the window is open. Shut it; we want no eavesdroppers.” Captain Hewett complied, but, before closing it, leaned forth and looked around. The Colonel's wife had flown. "If my fine lady would only commit herself,” he thought, "Kate will inbeit the Colonel's wealth. It is nothing," he said aloud, resuming his seat. Trembling at ber narrow escape, Mrs. ilutduig hastened from the shrubbery. J ust as she emerged, she ran violeutly against a man. •‘Hubert ! Tell me, what are you doing here ?” "Ten thousand pardons 1 I thought—” "Never mind what you thought. Why ure you here ? Quick, go to the side door If in five minutes I call you, come—if not, go away.” He raised her hand to liis lips. "How good you are I” he said. "I only i came to say I have prepared everything for our flight on Friday.” "Hush 1" she answered as she fled from him. Five mini ut.es after, the side door open ed, a white hand lreckoued, and soon the stranger was again seated, with locked doors in Mrs. Harding's boudoir. The next day, by no means to the sur prise of his wife, the Colonel announced that business woulyl take him to Loudon iu the evening, and detain him until late. Mrs. Harding expressed her sorrow at his departure, and begged him to hasten back. Nevertheless, when she was alone, she lighted tin- lamp in her boudoir, then re tired to a spare bed chamber just above, from the window of which she watched. Yn hour and a half passed eventless, then a man’s shadow flitted among the trees. ‘‘lt is the Captain," thought Mrs. Har ding. "He has selected bis proper sphere The Colonel was too noble for it. Well, each shall have a suitable reward. She waited. So did the Captain. Fi nally, the latter, perhaps, imagining while ho watched outside, the bird he would de tects was enjoying himself within, cau tiously drew near and peered into the win dow. The temptation was irresistible. Mrs. Harding noiselessly opened the lattice, took up a pitcher of water standing near, and flung out the.contents. There was a muttered curse; but the lattice was closed, and the Indy’s merry burst of laugnter smothered in her hand kerchief. When, ten minutes after, Captain Hew ett looked at the drawing-room window from a distance, as he, unobserved, quit ted the grounds, he beheld Mrs. Harding and his futuae bride reading and working according to their habit. ‘‘lt must have been a confounded house maid,” he growled. “She couldn't have seen me’” He passed on towards a break iu the boundary hedge, by which he quitted the place and reached the main road. Had he been a quarter of an hour later, he would surely have encountered a gen tleman using the same means to enter it. Quickly but cautiously, he made his way to a half decayed elm-tree, at the foot of which grew ferns and burdock. Slipping his hand beneath these, he drew out a pa per, on w hich, by the aid of a wax taper he lighted anri read : "Dearest—At eight or Friday. The Colonel will be absent. All is prepared.” Pressing che fragment passionately to his lips, the man placed a reply in the same place, then withdrew. It was on the morning of the eventful Friday that Col. Harding entered Captain Hewett's apartments at Kiehmond. "George 1" he exr’aimed, “no man was ever in greater perplexity than I. For the last month I have been engaged to the Duuderbulla to dinner to-day. This morn ing Constance declares —looking well and hearty—herself too ill to attend, but urges tue to go.” yt "I'll tell you what, Colqnel. If you re fuse, you may only raise fa? suspicions. Yon bad better, therefore, go and I'll watch for you. Perhaps ttfis time some thing may be discovered. ,l "I was thinking," began the Colonel, donbtfully, “whether it would not be best to ask Constance right down the troth?” “Absurd ! If a woman will stoop to de ceive a husband, she will not hesitate at a fslschood. ** “That is true. Well, George, let itrbe as you say.” The Colonel wentt to the dinner, and the gentlemen long left to their wine, when a footman whispered to the officer he was wanted. Making an exouse, he withdrew, and found the Captain waiting in the ball, QUITMAN, OA., FRIDAY, MAY 21, 1875. “Come home,” said the latter, “I must speak to you at once.” The Colonel, growing pale, followed him iuto the road. “What is it ?” ‘.Bear it like a man, Colonel,” returned the other. “Your wife is unworthy of your nffeetion ; she Ims fled with her lover - I saw them. They are now in the traiu going to London. “Oh, Constance —Constance !” he groan ed, “why have you brought this disgrace upon me,?” And be grasped the hedge to save him self from falling. Recovering himself, his mood changed. “George 1” he exojjpmed, fiercely. “Come, we will follow them. The villain shall answer for the wrong he has done me; but tell me all about i^” The Captain stated a cab had passed him ou the road to the villa, Iu it he had recognized a strange gentleman and Mrs. Harding. He pursued, but only reached the railway station in time to see them leap into a first-class carriage us the train moved off. The true statement was this; Captain Hewett had seen a cab waiting near the vdla. Concealing himself, ho had per ceived a gentleman, escorting a lady thickly veiled and cloaked, come through the break in the hedge, hurriedly cross the interven ing field, enter the cab, and drive off, af ter giving the direction, "The railway sta tion—for Loudon.” Had ho put his hand out, he could have stayed them. But taht was not his plan. Let her go beyond recall and redemption, that was wliit he thought. Hurrying straight to his dressing-rooqp, the Colonel, secured ,his pistols. "I have never used them against a fel low-being before,” he exclaimed, very stern and determined, "but a bullet shall reach his heart or mine. Oijo shall not leave the field.” “.Why, goodness gracious, my love, how early you ere back I I hope nothing is wrong 1” exclaimed a pleasant voice. Both gentlemen swung around on their heel, with an ejaculation of surprise, for there, iu the door-way, looking charming in her evening dress, was Mrs. Harding, “You here, Coustance 1” Here ! why, where should I he dear ?" The Colonel looked at the Captaiu, and vies versa “Wbutever is the matter ?” asked the lady ; “and—gracions, Edmund, love I—-1 what are you going to do with those pis- j tola ?" "I—l was going,” blurted out the Colo- j nel, half angrily, "to take with them the life of vour lover, Con itanee !” "My lover ! Surely, darling, you never contemplated suicide!” Suicide 1 Constance, can you look me ia the face and say you have no other than 1?” ■ •Yes —there, sir ! But can you look in mine, and say yon ever were cruel enough to suspect me of sneb a siu ?” The Colonel dropped instantly. "You have!” she went on. "Play, on what grounds ?” "That of a man having been seen toon tor your room, admitted by you, and—in —in—your supposed tight this night in a cab with him.” Mrs. Harding burst into a peal of laugh ter. “Why, Edmund, that was Kate's lover 1” she cried. "Kute’s !”both gentlemen repeated. “No less. Do not blame the poor girl, for you yourself have driven her to this step—asking Captain Hewett to pardon my Rpeaking out,” said the lady, with a malicious twinkle in her eye; “Because you loved his father, you ordered your daughter to accept the Geueral’o son. She —her heart secretly bestowed elsewhere— said ‘Nay;’you said ‘Ay.’ When I became your wife, Kate made me her confidant. I, too said ‘Nay;’ aud yet you repeated ‘Ay’ —declaring you could not go from your word; therefore, ' perceiving as a gentle man, that was true, I determined to break it for you; and, unwilling that your child, my love, should have a less happy life than the one you made mine, I planned— yes, it was wicked—l planned her elope ment with Robert Kenway, the man she loves. However you may regard it, Ed mund, I think I have done the girl a good turn in savin § her from an alliance with an amateur detective.” (So saying, she swept the Caplain a contemptuous curtesy.) “I see how all this has happened; this gen tleman watched here while you went to dine. Charming ! He waited and spied to see your own property stolen ! Cap tain Hewett, I compliment you ! Now, gentlemen, I will leave you to yourselves.’ She quitted the room as she spoke, very haughtily, and retired to her own, appar ently the most injured party. A brief space after, the Colonel came in. "Constance,” he said, “you have done very wrong.” “Sir, how have you acted, in suspect ing a wife who was foolish enough to love you ?” she answered, proudly. "Do you love me Constance ?” “Better than—than—all the world !” was the answer, given between a sudden burst of sobs. A woman’s tears were the only enemies which hud ever beaten the Colonel. He caught his pretty wife in his arms, and cried—“ Constance, forgive me, and let us say no more about it.” “And Kate ?” she sobbed. “1,11 pardon her, for your sake.” “You dear, dear Edmund 1 There 1 That kiss is for a reward !” And that is how Captain Hewett was checkmated by the Colonel’s second wife. THE FORGER CALHOUN. A SON Ol l ' THE WEALTHIEST PLANTER IN THE SOUTH CONVICTED OF A GREAT CRIME. "William S. Calhoun, convicted of for gery ou evidence of his quadroon mis tress, Orvia Williams!” This announcement iu the Sunday papers supplies the text for a long and iusoruotive moral discourse, and a very interesting chapter of domes ie history. The Calhoun referred to almve is the ouly sou of the lute Meredith I‘. Calhoun, for many years before the war the largest and most lordly planter in the South. The wife of Mr. Calhoun was the daughter of Judge Smith, formerly of South Carolina, | where he played a very prominent part in I the politics and society of that State, j Judge Smith w as of one of the most ancient I and respected families in South Carolina and inherited large estates, which lie augmented iu value by his judgment and enterprise. In the political arena he was regarded as the only fovmedahle rival of the great John 0. Calhoun. Judge Smith was the acknowledged leader of the Union party in the great secession light of 1835. Shortly after this he removed to Huntsville, Alabama, where he bought large estates and established himself in uu ele gant residence, which was the home of a largo and generous hospitality. The eldest daughter of Judge Bn. ith married Mereftith Calhoun, a young adventurer from the North, of polished manners uud good address. Mrs. Calhoun reeeiv. das her dowry a large sum, which was invested iu an immense tract of the rich laud on lied river, then held iu groat demand ns the most valuable and productive in the State. This is the land which embraces the greater portion of what is now known as Graut parish. It extends ten miles on the river, aid has been leveed at a vast expense, and possesses unlimited resource for the production of cotton and sugar. Upon this estate Mr. Calhoun expended a very great sum, stocking it with eleven hundred slaves, uud all the expensive structures and machinery required to pro duce cotton uud sugar. In the palmy days of this culture the yield of this large investment was highly remunerative. For several years before the war the regular iuoouie was between $250,000 anil $300,- 000. Having made several visits to France wit# Ins family, Mr. Calhoun acquired a taste for French society and habits, and during the latter period of his life resided iu Paris. Here he expeuded his large in come in affording his wife and daughter every opportunity of participating iu the eleguut and fuHhiunuhle enjoyments of the gay and luxurious capital. Besides liis daughter, uu accomplished and elegant young lady, who was born and educated iu Fruuce, so that she speaks the French language with more facility than her mother tongue. Mr. Calhoun had a sou who came into this world partially de formed, but not On that account was re garded with lesa affection and tenderness Liy liis parents. No child was ever more carefully uud tenderly watched and cared for than the poor little hunchback, Willie Calhoun. Preferring to live on the plan tation rather than expose himself ill the i pulliant society of Paris, Willie did not accompany his parents abroad. Devoting himself to agricultural life, he finally be came a sort of head manager or agent for iiis father. Tins was the couditipn of the family when the, war broke out. Mr. Calhoun was residing with his wife and daughter in France, and Willie had charge of the plantation. Of course the war produced most disastrous effects ou the Calhoun estate. The destruction of the slave property alone was enough to swamp the whole estate. Mr. .Calhoun died about the close of the war, and the widow hud given her power of attorney to Wil'.ie. lu 1868 she returned with her daughter to Louisiana, and proceeded on a steamboat to the lauding now known as Colfax, with a view of seeing her son and investigating the condition of her affairs. Her mind had been greatly disturbed by rumors of her son’s “carryings on” from old servants and others. Among other stories which had reached her was one to the effect that he had become a practical as well as a political misccgenationist—that he had been elected by aud exclusive negro vote to the Legislature, aud had formed a liai son with a buxom quadroon who claimed to be his lawful wife, and who assumed all the airs and authority of the lady of the Calhoun mansion. It may be imagined with what crushing force these; terrible stories fell upon the pride of tin; high-born mother. Wnether it was from tin; realization of their truth or from some other warning, Mrs. Cal houn, after a brief conversation with some of the old servants at the river landing, came to the conclusion not to expose her self to the humiliation of witnessing the son’s degradation and the profanity of the family mansion, so with her daughter, she returned on the boat to the city, and pro curing board for bersylf and daughter at the Bay of Bt. Louis, sojourned there for stfme months. Here Mrs. Calhoun died, in the summer of 1868, leaving her daughter alone in the world, moneyless and almost friendless. Nothing could be got from the estate. It had been hope lessly involved by Willie. Miss Ada bad been nurtured with bound less indulgence. Bbe bad never known what it was to want anything which mon ey could command; and here was she, to tally inexperienced, an orphan thrown upon the world, from a position of long assured wealth and high rank, with no other relative but a brother, who was now her most bitter enemy; but the young lady proved equal to her great emergencies. It would perhaps be an intrusion upon her private affairs to refer to shifts and expe dients to which she was driven to regain her fortune, and to save her from the mis eries of a poverty which would he tenfold bitter to one reared as she had been. Suffice it to say that, with the aid of a zealous and persevering young lawyer, she has been placed beyond the reach of the perils so much feared by her, anil we sin cerely hope her fortunes are in a fair train to restoration and that her future will real ize the old dramatic climax of“virture re warded and vice punished.” And surely this conviction of the had brother for forgery would seem to fill the last condition of dramatic and poeiie jus tice. After degrading and disgracing him self aud family by a disreputable alliance, and incumbering his mother and sister’s estate by consenting to a judgement of breach of promise of marriage, of 850,000 in favor of his quadroon mistress, he sought to rid himself and the estate of his incumbrance by an act which the jury had decided to be a forgery. Truly has the psalmist declared “the ways o| the transgressor are hard.’’ TRUTH WILL OUT. JAKEY, HIS MA AND THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER, Jakey crept up and sat down by his mother’s side as she was looking out of the window yesterday morning. After a few minutes of silence, he broke out ; with— "Ma, ain’t pa’s name Jacob?” | "Yes, Jakey,” "If I was called young Jacob, be'd be called old Jacob, wouldn’t lie?” Yes, my dear; what makes you nsk such a question us that?” "Nothiug only I heard something about him lust mght.” Mrs. Watts suddenly became interested, “What was it, my son?” "Oh, nothing much; something the new ! Sunday School teacher said.” "You oughtn’t to have anything your I mother don't know, Jakey,” eoaxmgly plead Mrs. Watts. "Well, if you must go poking into everything, I’ll tell you. The new teaouer says to me, ‘Wlmt's your name, my little man?' and when 1 said Jacob, he asked me if I ever heard of old Jacob, and I thought that was pa’s name, so I told him 1 g less I had, but I’d like to hear what he had to say about him. Hu said old Jacob used to be a little boy once just like me, and had bean-shooters and stilts, and used to play hookey and get licked, aud used to tend cattle”— “Yes, I believe he said his father used to keep u cow," interrupted Mrs. Watts. "And he hogged his brother out of some thing or other, and he got struck with a young woman named Rachel [Mrs. Watts became still more interested], and was going to marry her, but her old man fooled him and made him rnurry his other daughter; hut pa said lie guessed he wasn’t nobody’s fool, aud married them both.” "The wretch 1" ejaculated Mrs. Watts, shaking her first at Mr. Watts’ slipper. “He said old Jacob had a dozen or two children and—” "Did I marry him for this?” exclaimed Mrs. Watts, Hohbiug aud throwing her self on the sofa, making all the springs hum liken set of tuning forks. Jakey said he didn’t know what slip married him for, but she wouldn’t catch him telliug her anything very soon again if she was going to kick up such n row about it, and went out of the room feeling highly indignant. When Mr. Watts came home he met Mrs. Watts in the hull with a very red face, who pointed her finger at him and jerked out the work "Villain!" nnd asked him if he could look his innocent wife and infant son in the face. Mr. Watts showed that he could by staring very hard alternately at Jakey and Mrs. Watts. “I know where you go, sir, when you "state away from home,” continued Mrs. Watts; “I’ve heal'd the story of your per fidy. Can't you (ell me how Rachel and that other woman is to-day?’ - she asked with forced calmness. Mr. Watts con fessed Ids inability to enlighten her on the health of the ladies about whom she was so solicitous. Mrs. Watts said that she always knew that something like this would occur, and ended with another liys terieal interrogation after the children’s health, but not receiving any satisfactory answer, she threw herself on the sofa again, and sobbed and asked herself a few times why she had ever left her mother’s house, nnd then she called Jakey to her and told him tlmt they would have to live alone in a little house, and be very poor, and maybe not have enough to eat, which made that hopeful utter n series of most doleful howls and hastened down to the kitchen to examine the larder. Later in the day Mrs. Lewis happened in and MrH. Watts confided to her the story of her husband's villainy. Of course Mrs. Lewis was very properly shocked, and tried to impress upon Mrs. Watts the necessity of being philosophi cal, and left with the observation that she had never yet seen a man with a mole on his no.a: who did not, sooner or later, prove to be a rascal. Towards, v uing Jakey recovered from his grief of the morning, when the Sunday school teacher chanced to pass by, and Jakey hailed him with “Say, mister, I told my mother what you told nic about old Jacob las night, and there has been the old scratch to pay ever since. Ma called pa a villain and a bloody thief, aud tried to break her back on the sofa, and said that there wouldn’t he anything to eat, and there ain’t been such a time since pa offered to kiss Aunt Jane good-bye. May he yon had better drop in nnd see the old lady, mister, she ain't so bad as she was.” The teacher, after some pressing, ac companied Jakey into the house, and was presented to Mrs. Watts in the parlor. Mrs. Watts began to thank him for dis closing her husband’s perfidy, but he dis claimed having done anything of the kind, aud at length, after considerable talking, it was discovered that Jakey had misap plied the" story of the patriarch Jacob. Mrs. Watts started out to hunt up Jacob, and when she found him, astonished him again by being as loving as she had been distant. Jakey is contented in the fact that there is no immediate prospect of a lack of supplies in the family, and Mrs. Watts would be perfectly happy if she could only shut Mrs. Lewis’ mouth. Crossing the Channel. The life-preserver in which Paul Boyn ton undertook to cross the English chan nel last week, from Dover to Bottlonge, a distance of forty miles, failing only on ac count of darkness overtaking him seven miles from shore, when the accompanying boat took him iu out of the wet, is thus described: Mr. Boynton's dress is mostly of India rubber, aud is so arranged that it can be inflated, atul rendered not only buoyant but water-proof. Bopnton on his wuy over from New York, jumped overboard some fifteen miles from the coast of Ire land, landing with safety. Recently, in Loudon, he gave an exhibition on the Thames, he and two others floating from Westminster to Greenwich, the trio eat ing, drinking and smoking en route. More recently Boynton gave an exhibition iu the presence of her majesty, in the wa ters of Southampton, which resulted in several suits of dress being ordered for the royal yacht. The dress is so arranged that the wearer can carry not only a supply of provisions, but rockets aud other signal apparatus. With a fair wind Boynton gen erally gets a small sail. He also uses a double paddle to propel himself along. THE HOUSE THAT BOWEN BUILT. [ From the New York Graphic] Plymouth Church.— This is tha house that Bowen built. 11. Grace, Mercy ano Peace.—This iH the meal that lay iu the house that Bowen built -111 Paroxysmal Kiss —This is the mouse tlmt hid in the meal that lay in the house that Bowen built. IV. Gossip.—This is the cat that hunted the mouse that hid iu the meal that luy in the house that Boweu built. V. Dissimulation.—This is the dog that worried the oat that hunted tho mouse that hid in tht> meal that lay iu the house that Boweu built. VI. Vicky.— This is tho cow w ith the crump led heel thub kicked till the dog was aus ge spiel that worried the ent that hunted the mouse that hid in tho meal thut lay in the house that Bowen built. VII. Sib Marmadukk.—This is tho swain all tattered and torn who soothed the cow with the crumpled heel that kicked till the dog was aus ge spiel that worried the cat that hunted the mouse that hid iu tire meal that luy in the house that Bowen built. VIII. Elizabeth.—This is the maiden all for lorn who jilted the man ail luttered and torn who carried the cow with on angry heel that kicked till the dog was aus ge s/iiel that worried the cat that hunted the mouse that hid iu the meal that lay in the house that Bowen built. IX. H. W.—This is the priest all shaven and shorn who almost wished he hud never been boru when he kjssed the maiden all forlorn who jilted the swrin all tattered and torn w ho coaxed the cow with tile live ly heel that kicked till the dog was aus ge spiel that worried the cat that hunted tile mouse that hid iu the meal that luy iu the house that Bowen built. X. Mrs. Moulton.—This is a "Slice of the Judgement-Day” whose "downright truth fulness” carried dismay to the naughty priest in “ the cove of gloom” who "sat ou the rugged edge” of liis doom when he kissed the maiden all forlorn who jilted the man all tattered and torn who soothed the cow with the vicious heel that kicked til! the dog was aus ge spiel that worried the oat thut hunted the mouse that hid in the meal thut lay iu the house that Bowen built. XL “My Dear Von Moltke.”— I This is the name of the Mutual Friend who carried the secrecy through to the end for the sly old priest in the cave of gloom who kept a dangerous cup in his room when lie kiss ed tlie maiden all forlorn who jilted the man all worried uud worn who coaxed the cow with the versatile heel that kicked till the dog was aus ge spiel tlmt teased the cat that hunted the mouse that hid in the meal that lay iu the house that Bowen built. XII. Mrs. Morse.—This is the typical moth er-in-law with the terrible tongue and Ilex-, ilile jaw, the eagle eye aud avenging claw, who told of all thut she heard and saw, who indulged in various comments nloud, and made it sultry for all the crowd—h,r the Mutiul Friend who dared to refuse to let her get at his budget of news; for the priest, who, caught, in wlmt lie had done, said, "Mother, I wish you would call me son;” for the desolate daughter all forlorn who jilted T. T. (Tattered and Torn) who carried the co> -- with the frisky heel that kicked till the dog was aus ge spiel that worried the cat that hunted the mouse that hid in the meal that lay iu the house that Boweu built. XIII. The Graphic.—This is the cock that will crow iu the morn when Justice blows her delinquent horn commanding all to acknowledge the corn; for the mother-in law with the lingual thorn; for the Mutual -Friend with his lofty scorn; for that slice of the Day of Judgement, born to comfort and scare and guide and warn; for Bessie, who, as she has sworn, by Marmaduke from her bed was torn, and unto his screaming anil sleeping borne; for the so cial driest all shaven and shorn who kissed the maiden all forlorn who jilted the man all worried aud worn who soothed tho cow with the limber heel that kicked till the dog was aus ge spiel that worried the cat that hunted the mouse that hid in the meal that luy in tho house that Bowen built. Hell The word “hell,” a translation of the Greek word Gehenna, is a term used to des ignate the Valley of Hinuom. This val ley hounds Jerusalem oil the north, and lies below Mount Zion—a scene of sacred and imperishable associations. In this valley Moloch, tho national god of the Am orites, was worship; ed with the horrid and inhuman rite of sacrificing children in the fire. When Josiab, iu his conquest, over threw thisidolatry, he poured contempt upon the infernal practice by casting into the valley the bones of the departed. In the estimation of the old Hebrews the bones of the dead caused the greatest of all pollutions. Whatever person; place, or things they touched were forthwith con sidered "unclean,” Hence this valley of Hinnom, this "hell,” having been reeept able of the human remains which Josiuh threw into it. was considered a place the most polluted and accufsed. From this cir cumstance it became a common receptacle for all the refuse of the city of Jerusalem. Hero large quantities of decomposing veg etable and mineral matter were thrown. This putrescent matter generated an abundance of worms ; the worms hero nev er died. To prevent the noxious effluvia, springing from this mass of corruption’ poisoning the atmosphere and breathing disease uud death into the heart of the oity, fires were kept burning day and night. This valley, therefore, was literally a place where "the worm never died, and where the fire was never quenched.”— Rev. Phelps. The latest eastern slang with which to come down on a long-tongued bore is: “Write the rest down on a piece of paper, and we’ll lead it Sunday, ” MISCELLANEOUS. Back-biters—fleas. A good line of business— the fish-line. Cheap drapery—the curtains of the night. What animals are often seen at funer als ? Black kids. Self-made men ure very apt to worship their maker, Time is money, nnd many people pay their debts with it. Retiring early at night will surely short en u man’s days. When a man bows to circumstances he is forced to be polite. Many editors are of such a peaceful na ture that they will not put u head on their editorials. A close observer says that the worda which ladies are fondest of aro the first and last words, “I wish I was a pudding, mama!” “Why?” “Cause, I should have lots of sugar jaiit into me.” A printer, hard of hearing, nt a spelling match the other evening asked the Cap tain to “Write the darned word down so a fellow can tell what it is.” It is said an article by John C. Galton, ou the song of fishes, that fifty-two out of over 3,000 species of fishes are known to produce sounds, and that many of them emit musical Sounds. A small lmy in New Haven made a sen sation for a short time by quietly transier riug a card hearing the words “take one” from a lot of hand bills in front of a store to a lot of oranges. A single queen bee will produce 100,000 bees in a season ; the 100,000 bees will produce 50,000 swolen heels, and the sale of twenty-two barrels of arnica.— Western Statistician. Edgar Poo said : “To vilify a great man is the. reydiest way in which a little man can himself attain greatness. Thu crab might never have become a constella tion but for the courage it evinced in nib bling Hercules on the heel.” The new building of the Now York Tribune is nine stories high. When a man comes in and wants to know who wrote that article, he is told that tho au thor is ou the top floor with tho elevator broken. Connecticut girl patiently listened to a long declaration of love, pathetic and pro posing from a young man, and then knocked nil the poetry out of him by say ing, “Now let us tulk about your busi ness affairs." The Peoplo of adjoining States are ocusid eralily annoyed at Rhode Island for starting a five ncre base ball gronnd. They don't mind the noise, but insist on some sort of protection against hot balls iu the stomach during the campaign. The Dayton Young Men’s Christian As sociation has established u truly good smoking room ns a haven for worldly young men. If the experiment suceeds, some further attraction— say a cocktail department—may possibly be added. • NO. 3. A country youth who desired to know how to become rich, sent a quarter in an swer to au advertisement, anil received tha following valuable receipt: “Increase your receipts nnd decrease your expendi tures. Yiork eighteen hours a day, and live ou hash and oatmeal gruel." A Western editor, thinking to stock his depleted larder, advertised "Poultry taken in exchange for advertising. ” The villain ous compositor, seeing liis opportunity to pay up a long standing grudge, set it up — "Poetry taken. Ac., —and since that time the office boy lias been clearing fifty cents a day from the waste paper man. The Whitehall Times says thntas Dwyer of the Samly Hill Herald was standing ou the railroad depot platform at Fort Edward lately, conversing with a friend, he felt something jerkiug at the loop of liis coni gres gaiters. He turned quickly and dis covered the baggage man trying to get a check-strap through his after loop, which he had mistaken for a Saratoga trunk. Bill Smikes came home mellow the oth er night, aud when his wife asked him what ailed him he said he had been to the spelling school and had (hie) got foul of hip-pip—poppo—poppo hip popity —hip-pop hippitybop—liimus—liippi mus—hip—hip—hip—liippitymus—liipo- pytimus—or some such (hie) confounded word, and it has given him one of his ‘ ‘spells. ” A curious letter was received the other day at the postoffice department. It en closed one dollar, was addressed by a la dy at Jeraeyville 111., “In care of any liar, ravana, porteg Cos., Ohio,” and contained inquiries relative to a missing husband, tlie letter was intended for "any lawyer’” but on account of the peculiarity of the manner in which, the writer spelled “law yer,” no one of that ilk could be found in . Ravenna to cluim it. Tho letter was conse quently-sent to the dead letter office. Here are ycmr personal statistics: Bis marck will he 71 in April, and Von Moltke 75 in October of this year ; Gortschakoff was born in 1798; M. Theirs can boast of 78 years if he lives until next April, with no faculty dimmed by age. Ou the 22d of the present mouth Emperor William of Geriuauy will have seen 78 years. Tho ages of the two great statesmen of Eng land are respectively as tollows : Disraeli 70 next December, and Gladstone 60 du ring the same mouth. Victor Hugo entered his 73d year several days ago. The King of Bnrmah wants a “compe tent English editor” to conduct the first journal started in his dominions. Ho oi lers a salary of one thousand rupees per mouth—about ssoo—but the incumbent has to follow strictly the King s policy and forbear fooling with any novel proposi tions. He cannot expose any rings or write up any scandals or record any drunks or suggest improvements. He is simply to be engineer of the King’s organ If lie deviate a hair’s breadth, bis head will come off nt once. All copy must he sub mitted to his majesty. A corageousyonug man might apply for the position. According to tho Boston Advertiser, as au overloaded horse car was coming np Sudbury street, a short time ago, wheu the icy condition of the street rendered the ascent extremely difficult, a gentleman hailed the conductor from the sidewalk, re questing him to stop the car. This the conductor refused to do until the car reached the summit. The gentleman, out of breath and temper also, got on the car and addressed the conductor as follows : “Sir, I supposed this road was run for the accommodation of the public," “You nev er were more mistaken in your life,” re plied the conductor. "I’ts run in order to fill the stockholders pockets.” ‘.lndeed, Bnid the now irate passenger, "I thought all the conductors on this roal were gen tlemen." "Worse tliaD before,” said tha conductor. 'Do you suppose I would ruu a horse c<v if Ia as a gentleman ?’,