The independent. (Quitman, Ga.) 1873-1874, August 30, 1873, Image 1

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The independent., August 30, 1873, Image 1

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Newspaper Page TextVOLUME I. THE INDEPENDENT. “SATURDAY, AUGUST 30. isrx PublUlir.l Weekly UMOO per Annum In Advance. Slafle Coplea Scrnta. A XOTHXK'S WARSING TO HER DAUGHTER OX HER WEDDING DAT. Daughter! clouds will sometime's hover O’er the happy Hymen's peace; And the fondest husband lover Follow temper or caprice. Decm'st thou golden days forever Can thy golden ring bestow? Then life a course and man's heart nevor Hast thou learned as yet to know. Oft a simple maiden gladly Hath her chosen bndegorom wed; And, in after days hath sadly Mourned her hopes, her freedom fled. He hor glances’ slave once seeming, Moodv tyrant stands confess'd; Waken'd from her joyous dreaming, Cares and sorrows rend her breast Yet to thee hath power been given. Daughter thine own bliss to make— Noftness, prudence, these are even All the arms thou need'st to take. Meet thv husband's heart with spirit— Blandly cordial, frankly gay; Paaa unseeing, slight demerit— , * * Blight offence's smile swsy. 1L- -LJSU—I_-111 -LUL.I. , i. Letter from Colorado. [special correspondence of the independent.] Nevada, Cod. , July 30, 1873. Editor Indepetuleiit: My last was forwarded you from Black Hawk, since which time my ramblings have continued without abatement. I have wandered over hill and through dale, have visited most of the principal mines in this section, and for more than two weeks have made my home in the Rocky Mountains. A few days since I stood upon one of the highest peaks, and from thence had the most extended view I have yet en joyed. Hundreds of mountains and vast ranges of mountains, immense in magni tude, and in enormous confusion, are piled up towards the sky. And here in places is to be seen theuntbawed snows of a hun dred winters. Quite near blooms the beau tiful mountain flower, and under our feet is the luxuriant green grass. There is probably nothing in nature more grand or impressive than the scene upop which we gaze from one of these high peaks. Then, looking fifty miles eastward, we see that nature, as if in apology for her freaks, and in amends for the enormity she hus here given birth to, produces its exact counterpart, the great American desert Slightly changing the subject, I would ask, Mr. Editor, have you heard anything in these late days about the notorious "Wandering Jew?” Is ho a defunct insti tution, or does hestillperambulate through earth's remotest bounds, as we are cred itably informed he has been doing for the last two thousand years ? (Of course, no one doubts the story.) If he has "quit the drive” and “thrown up the sponge,” I am anxious to know it, for I am a can didate for the position. The fact is, lam fast becoming a ‘‘scateloper,’’ (not a scala wag or an itinerant preacher,) but a spe cies of the genus carpet-bagger, (my car pet-bag is “shoved” for a week's board at that other place.) But, take it altogether, this slashing around loose in the world, without sails or rudder, without a big um brella, or even the handle of one to keep the rain off, and without the slightest re- J gard for the continuation of that aforesaid and notorious school, is certainly the best fun I have had for a long time, and I am candid to acknowledge that I feel the spell growing strong upon me. I have seen others under the fascination, but never, until lately, have felt its influence myself. My idea of that grand ultimatum, so eagerly sought after by all the poor de luded human beings who inhabit “these low grounds," or who, more fortunate than us, have gone before, and called happi ness, has been simply “love in a cottage,” with its imaginary and inevitable summer days, flowers, children, grub to eat, etc. A great mistake, certainly, for let me as sure you that any individual with a “keen sense of the ridiculous, ” a little common sense, an eye for the beauties of natnre, and a determination to “let the wide world wag as it will,” Ac., can have all the fnn he can chamber, and in the excitement of travel, the change of scene, and the strangeness of new surroundings, not only ceases to think of the past, (where all oar troubles lie), but forgets his own identity, and is necessarily happy, 'Tis then he tunes his harp and sings: Throw care to the dogs, let ns have a good time, We will waft with the winds and tost every clime, We will go adieu we phase and come when we can, Nor care for the fntore, or any such man. Ton bet it is jolly, o’er the wide world to roam, Without erne, without friends, without money or borne, Sure I know, for ‘Tve been there," that life is a sham; Go on with the music, I don’t care a cent. Though my varied and wonderful ac- j complishments have always beeu a source of pride to my friends, and a matter of j envy and astonishment to my enemies, es pecially my talent for catching sucker fish, and though the prophesy which has been made about all the children that ever lived, was often made in regard to myself when only a few months old, (I remember it well), to wit: “That child is too smart to live,” yet who among the motley throng would have ventured the assertion that the divine muse would one day come flopping around with her tail feathers spread like a rampant peacock, and place upon my classio brow the immortal wreath of poesy. Yet, my dear friend, you can plainly see THE INDEPENDENT. that without an immediate change such 1 will be my fate. Brother Robinson Creech, I please read a chapter out of that Ku-Klux book and call up the Major's convicts and I mourners, perhaps I may yet be saved. I i feel that if this great calamity comes upon Ime it will be on account of my political sins. I was onoo accused—though wrong fully—of voting the scalawag ticket. At any rate let us all pray to be delivered from temptation in the future. Amen. This is certainly the most delightful climate it has ever been my good fortune to mix in with; it is pleasant iu the morn ing, it is pleasant at noonday, it is pleasant in the afternoon, it is ploasaut in the evening, it is pleasant at night, and if thero is any other time it is pleasant then. A certain peculiarity seems to pervade this light, dry and pure atmosphere, and to lurk in the balmy breezes that blow among these hills and voles. Lately I have traveled through and around Block Hawk, liave investigated the mysteries of Mountain City, have “done” Central City, and am now at the jumping off place, Nevada. This town, with the exception of one—Georgetown—has the highest altitude of any town or city in the United States, and I doubt if the world can beat it very bad. I am higher up in the world than I ever was before, and just about two miles above you loafers down there in Quitman by actual measurement. Hero the atmosphere is so thin you are compelled to take four draws to make one comfortable breath, and many respectable persons cany a pair of hand bellows about with them to pump in a sufficient quantity of air to keep up the circulation. You may believe this or not, as you like. It is impossible for anew comer to take any considerable amount of exercise. It makes you blow like a porpoise and pant like a broken-winded horse. In many instances blood comes from the nose and mouth, and those whose lungs are affected in the lenst are not safe to come so high; the strain is too great, nnd often proves fatal. Those who have become accustomed to the air are remarkably healthy, and the doctor's avocation is gone when he comes here. With the exception of a few stunted pines and spruce, there is little or no vegetation. A little lower down, how ever, a few vegetables are raised, potatoes, beets, anti a few other roots. But the greatest root of all, “the root of all evil,” gold, hriglit, shining gold, is the incentive that has hired these people from all sections and enlist'd them to make their 'llOlllO,B among these bare, uncharitable, rocks. Mining is the only occupation, and the eight or ten thousand souls who are here congregated are entirely dependent upon this source for a living. The four towns mentioned are built in a gulch or eonyon, through which a fork of Clear Creek passes. Most of the houses are stuck up on shelves and ledges, or wherever a sufficient space of level ground can be found to place one. And it is astonishing to see what labor and persevereuce has effected; many of their houses are tasty, and even elegant. Fine churches and school-houses are quite numerous, and the flncst'hotel in the Ter ritory —the Tiller House—is at Central City. The mines, estimated at about one hundred and fifty in number, are scattered for a distance of about fifteen miles along this gulch. Many, however, for want of capital and trouble among the stock holders, are lying idle. Here, for miles, you see shafts, tunnels, excavations, ditches, tanks, crushing mills, smelting furnaces, engines for raising ore, Ac., Ac. It would take me weeks to describe what I have seen, and I shall certainly not at tempt it. Last Sunday morning I mounted upon the veritable coach which, a few months since, contained the sacred person of our beloved (?) President and future Emperor, behind the same four horses, with the same individual fora driver; and ensconc ing myself upon the same seat once occu oied by the beautiful and accomplished Miss Nellie Grant, herself, I took the same ride of four miles to the same Idaho Springs. To say that I felt good would but feebly convey the idea. I felt grand. Here, for seventy-five cents, I am occupy ing the samo position which the great, smoker so lately filled; and, in feelings, at least, am his equal. I now feel on such familiar terms with U. S. G. that should I meet him in a bar-room, would say at once, “come up, Useless, lot’s take a glass of beer.” An hours drive through the mountains, and we are at Idaho Springs, “The Sara toga of tho West.” Hero aro hot and cold mineral springs, the medicinal prop erties of which are said to be extraordi nary; and nothing can be more romantic than the situation and its surroundings. Several hundred visitors and invalids are here spending the summer. Several first class hotels are here, and a considerable town has already been built. This is one of tho most fashionable and one of the pleasantest retreats in the Territory. The springs are just- one notch over onr Wooten Springs, on the Withlacoochee. After taking a dive in the warm bath, and a good dinner at the Bebee House, we again clam ber to our positions on the coach and re turn to Central. This country is full of tourists, excur sionists, geologists, artists, correspondents, Ac., Ac. The newspaper correspondents are most numerous; sometimes you can And seven on one log, as “poor Jack” said about the Insurance agents in Brooks county. A few mornings since, I was com fortably seated on the soft side of a hard rook, with my note book before me, rapt, as is sometimes my wont, in poeticul im- QUITMAN, GA., SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 1873. aginations, (that is, wondering how long before dinner would be ready), when, looking up, I saw in front of me one whom I immediately recognized as belonging to the army of scribblers. Under his arm he carried a huge portfolio, about the size of a side of bacon; in his hand was the omnipresent pencil, and on his nose a pair of green spectacles. Ho immediately re cognized me as belonging to his profes | siou, not only by my book and pencil, but | by my literary air, which you know I pos j seas extensively, Ho politely remarked: “Good morning.” “Good morning, sir,” I returned, “quite a pleasant day.” “Delightful, and I suppose you find the | surroundings in this lovely spot quite con ducive to the inspiration you are doubtless i seeking, for I presume from appearances that, like myself, you are a correspond ent” , I modestly replied that I wrote a little sometimes, for my own amusement and 1 the benefit of my friends at home, at the same time asking where he was from, and ; the name of the paper or magazine that was so fortunate os to engage his services. I I soon discovered that "he was from the j State of wooden nutmegs; but a Yankee can ask more questions than you can, and | a dozen were put to me in quick sucoes | sion. I answered that I wrote for The In dependent. “I never heard of The Independent. Where is it published," he asked. ‘The Independent,” I replied in appa rent astonishment, “You never heard of The Independent? Why, it is published in Quitman, in Rrooks county. ” “Quitman, in Brooks county,” lie re peated. '‘l never heard of such a place in my life. ” * “You never heard of Quitman, in Brooks county,” I exclaimed. “Tho devil you didn't.” I was mad, and I suppose imme diately jerked out that big knife that Beaty gave mo, and laid it on the rock by my side, as I continued: “Tlicu, sir, al low me to inform you that you are like the man who never took a drink of good whisky. Your life has been a failure.” And 111 leave it to tho crowd if I wasn’t right. Yours very truly, A. P. P. MODERN MIRACLES. Ail Illinois "Woman who If.cn.lK tho Sick by the Imposition of Hamit, From Mr. Ed. Hill, Deputy United States Marshal, xlio recently returned from a visit to Olney, Richland county, we learn some interesting facts oonnected with the recent manifestations of alleged super natural power by Mrs. Powell, wife of Dr. I. A. Powell, of Olney, who will be reincmberd by many of our citizens us a prominent member in the Twenty-sev enth General Assembly. It appears that upward of a year ago Mrs. Powell declared herself possessed of supernatural gifts, blit being a lady of unusual refinement and deli cacy, a manifestation of them was naturally repugnant to her. More recently, however, os she states, she was Divinely instructed to put in practice her powor, and claiming it to be entirely a Heavenly gift, she heai | tated not to comply with what she considered i a direct mandate of the Deity. Her powers, according to the report of ! the citizens of Olney, many of whom ful |ly accord to her miraculous attributes, is | chiefly manifested in tho healing of the sick. This is reported to be accomplished i by the imposition of hands accompanied by prayer and repetition of Scripture, though the cure is not always instantaneous, but occurs at the time Mrs. Powell states it will be accomplished. It is further stated that so great is the confidence in her power, that hankerehiefs are sent her, and they, passing throuh her hands are returned, and effect the cure of the sick person sending them. The effect of the several manifesta tions is said to he depressing upon the health of Mrs. Powell, who continues them, how ever,as she believes, in obedience to Divino direction. Naturally, these circumstances create quite a commotion in the vicinity, and even from places remote crowds are gather ing to witness the cures. Mr. Hill states that on Friday lastone hundred and twelve person had called to see Mrs. Powell, whose doors are now open to all who desire her ministration, which are, of course, ren dered gratuitously. Among those stated to be cured bv her are several prominent citizens of Ofney, well known in this city. The entire circumstances are of that, pe culiar character hardly susceptible of ex planation, more especially as the persons connected with them are of such a character as to entirely preclude tho suspicion of chicanery. It may be added that the sub ject of these Divine revelations, assho con siders them, is not a believer in Spiritual ism, but a member in good standing of the Presbyterian communion.— Springfield (IU.) Journal. An aged couple in Wooster street are very fond of checkers, and play quite fre quently. When be beats at the game she loses her temper and declares she will not play again. It vexes him to have her act, so; but he controls the irritation, and talks to her about it. He tells her how wrong it is for people at their age in life to be disturbed by such trifles, and shows her so clearly the folly of such a course that she becomes ashamed of her woakuoss and returns to the game, and plays it so well that she beats him. Then he throws the oheckers in one direction and kicks the board in another, and says he will never play with anybody who cheats so all ftredly, and stalks moodily to bed and leaves her to pick up the things. — Danbury News. Learn a Trade.— ln his annual report of common schools, Professor Wickersham says; There are multitudes idly waiting for vacant clerkships and unfilled offices, while mechanical work more honorable and more remunerative invites on all sides the efforts of willing hands. It is a fact as startling as it is significant, that of 17,000 criminals in the United States in 18(58, 97 per cent, of them had never learned a trade. Out of 240 convicts received at the Eastern peni tentiary last year only twelve had been ap prenticed and served their time. From Indian River. [OUR I-ADY OORBRsrONDENT.] Indian River, August 10, 1873. Editor Independent : Since the close of our struggle for inde pendence, we have been rather a restless people. Many sad changes have been wrought in onr homos and our socinl rela tions; and with the timjd and those not possessed with extraordinary energy and porseveranee, the result of the changes is almost nnendurablo. The confused po litical nnd pecuniary status of the country, and the doubtful and unreliable labor sys tem, have caused many to abandon the places and people they loved to seek for other and distant homes. Many have gone to the far West; some to Texas and other countries; and a few liko ns huve sought and found the Indian River Eden, Whore tho wild flower, bloom. Amid tho soft dew. of the morn. Many, dissatisfied with tho West, and other countries, return to their old homes and other associates; but from this earthly paradise never will any remove to seek bliss on earth elsewhere. We have had many inviting letters from Texas and elsewhere, but no advantages portrayed are equal to those we enjoy here. In your late papers I see letters from the far West, a magnifi cent country, no doubt, and developing with wonderful rapidity the resources and wealth; and unprecedented, perhaps, iu the increase of its population and progress in civilization; but as yet I find but little is written or said of our beautiful coun try—our homes, sweet homos! Will you allow me tell you and your readers some of the many pleasures wo enjoy here? Iu the first place, the climate is une qualed; never too hot in summer, and scarcely to bo Called cold in winter. Frosts are very rare, and so light, as scarcely to be discovered. Tropical fruits of every vari ety may be cultivated without fear of in jury from the winter’s cold. It is con ceded that oranges grown here are supe rior to any grown in any other country. We have seen seedlings five years old bear ing well. Out of two hundred trees bud ded three years since, at Mr, Lawrence Carlisle’s, forty bore fruit this year. Lem ons and limes are raised with as little diffi olSlty as the orange. This is the home of the banana, and those who have not eaten this fruit fresh mpr the stalk have but a faint idea of its delicacy, when permitted to ihature before clipped from the stalk. Pino apples are much finer than any .1 ever ate in Georgia. Figs grow to groat perfection. The guava is now ripening; bushes are filled with fruit of all size;'. Citrons aro now in tho right state for preserving; fruit and blos soms on the same tree. Lemons and limes are just beginning to ripen. The sour or anges grow in great abundance in the w ild groves. The wine and beer made from them is delicious. Grapes of several varie ties grow in marvelous abundance, and make excellent, wine when sweetened. Every variety of berries grow in abund ance. Wo have had peaches sent us by our neighbors as fine as I ever ate. Flow ers of every variety and shade of color are here to be found ill the wild woods, freighting the morning and evening ze phyrs with the fragrance of thoir sweet breath. Some are blooming now. Muny that we cultivate in Quitman aro growing wild here. Tho “blazing star,” us it is called, grows on a marsh near us; and in describable is its magnificence as the early sunbeams kiss the dew drops from its bril liant face. Tlie> blooms of the saw pal metto are beautiful and fragrant. Tho long white sprays of the bloom of the cab bage palmetto is in lovely contrast to the fan-like foliage of the tree. Flowers are not cultivated horo to the same extent that they are in Georgia. There is no neces sity for it. This is nature’s nursery for them, and wo have but to step from our enclosure to gather these wild hut lovely creatures of nature. Mr. Editor, how cun I describe to you our beautiful river, ranging in width from two to eight miles, the banks sometimes rising to a high bluff, and then gradually running into a long, low beach; the fish darting and leaping from its depths with their silvery sides glistening in tho sun beams, and its clear, placid bosom is dot ted here and there with white sails of the passing bouts. Birds, strange and beauti ful, hovering over and about it and nest ling in the foliage of the trees and warb ling their sweet natal melodies. Homes as pleasant as mortal can desire can be found hero. Of course it requires some time and labor to effect this here, as well as elsewhere. Houses do not grow; they must be built; and nature’s wilds must be subordinated to the hand of civi lization. But while this is being done the expense of living is greatly modified by game from the woods, fish from the river, and the fruits that grow spontaneously; and by the cultivation of vegetables that grow so rapidly and mature so early. There are quite a number of settlors here, and new ones are coming in. I have never seen a parallel to the hospitality and kindness of the settlors. Many times, with happy tears in my eyes, have I com pared theirs with the kindness of dear old friends and neighbors at homo. As to musquitoes and sandflies, I can truly say I have not suffered from them more here than iu Georgia. In a few days we, with a party of friends, contemplate visiting the Atlantic coast, not many miles distant from us; and perhaps I may write of this trip, and inform you of the new sights and wonders I expect to see, and the many pleasures I now antici pate. Very respectfully, T. A. S. DER BABT. Bo help me gracious ufery day 1 laugh me wild to see iler vay My small young baby drie to play— Dot hinny little baby. Ven I look of dheni little toes, Und saw dnt hinny little DOM, Und heard do vay dat rooster crows, I slimile like 1 was glazy. Und vbeu l heard the reel nieo vay Dhem peoples to my wife dhiiy sav; “More like hia father* every day, 1 ’ I vus so broud liko blazes. Sometimes dhero come a leotlo mlumall, Dot’s vlmn dor vindy vind will crawl, Itighd iu its lectio schtomack small. Dots too bod for der baby. Dot mokes him sing at night so sohvoet, Und sorry harric 1m must oad, Und I mußt chump slihry on my feet, To help dot leotlo baby. He bulls my nose and kicks my hair, Und grands' me ofer everywhere, Und slobbers me—vat 1 caru? Dot vas my stnall young baby. Around my head dot lectio arm Vas schqnouzin me so nice and vann. Oh 1 may dero never room some harm To dot ■rhmnll loetle baby! *Dot vas me liimaclf. Another Hardshell Sermon. Mr Dyiit Oonoreoashun: It rejoyccth I me muchly to see Rich a peert cliauee of sinners turn out to hear sound doctrine. You will find my text in Chronicles, page 249: “For as a ring iu a bullock's snout, or as a rudder in a ships stun, so is the darters of Zion toled away by the fool ish fashions of this evil generation. ” Never, since Adam was a baby, nor Eve talked foolishness to the old sarpant who showed her how to make fig leaf Dolly Vardena, has there been sicli a muss about dress. The beefeater, Dickens, and his gul, Dolly Vardon, have nitido more cite inent about dress nnd how to wear ’em than I ever beam of in all my born days. Our gals is plum crazy. Hit jest knocks tho hind sights off of enytbiug ex tent, as shore as you are a listenin to my gospel tones torday, ah! For as a ring in a bullock’s snout, or as a ship's stun, so is tho daughters of Zion toled away by the foolish fashions of this evil world. My dyin congregation; Yon might travel all over the yeth, from Dan to Omega, and I'll stand treat to the hull meetin that tliar flint no place under the broad enuister of the yeth whnr tliar can be found a worse set of det bound men than now graze this civilized portion of the firmaments; and you can no more git money outen them than you can git blood outen a tnruipseed, ! good liekor outen stump water, or music outen a jackass. His tother half has got the ring in his snout and ho has got to come to the lick-log. Bho can raise the money for tho theatur, for tho cyrcus or for the side sho, but if you want a bill set tled for medicine, for grocerys, for your printer or your preacher you stand no sho, for Dolly Vnrdeh has cleaned them of tho last red. Fashion lias trumped you outen kingdom-kmn and your hand is played out and you are enchcrod. For as a ring in a bullock’s snout, or a rudder of a ship’s stun, so is the darters of Zion toled away by tho foolish fashions of this evil world, ah! My dyin congregation, on tho road to perdition: Ye sistem of debility; toss your purty heads, go it on a credit, go it on time, go it on eternity. The likes of you out off tho Hardshell Baptist’s head, trimmed Samson’s locks, got usliy and turned into a pillar of salt at tho destruc tion of Sodiun; who sail uwuy, turkey buzzard Htyle and lite on the senm of fash ion. You aro jes like unto a peacock who spreads his tale, bucks his eyes and seems to say here’s your bird, your Dolly Varden siiiiin along and aint carein a copper for all creation. Jes a spreadin yersolf like a lit tle bantam hen on a full settin of good eggs: For as a ring in a bullock’s snout, or us a rudder of a ship’s stun, so is tho darters of Zion toled away by the foolish fashions of this evil world, all! But what shall I liken these darters of Zion to? They are liken to that same pea cock who spreaileth his tale, stifeneth his neck and strata affectedly while he thinks ho is the purtiest thing that ever boasted a Dolly Varden; but when he takes a peep at his underpinnin he looses all hia starch and looks as humble as a step-child, or a jackass in a thunder storm. I’ll stand treat if you would take half these wimmen and wash off the starch, take down their liar und throw-away their incidentals and Dolly Vardens and they will bo liko that poor bird that was not aware of his meek ness till he looked at his feet. But hit’s tho fashion, Dolly is all the go. See a Dolly on shu-heols as high as a durbin wheel —she wiggles along liko a crippled suako, but hit’s tho fashion. Squeeze her till her waste looks like that of a wasp; but hit’s the fashion. See her with her renr humped up like a eat going to war; but hit’s the fashion. See her ] with a hull lot of cloth in one jacket—oh, hit’s tho fashion ! and Dolly Varden to boot. I am powerful foerd the last one of them | are sold to the Filistiens and are gono gozlius, ah. For as a ring in a bullock’s j snout, or a rudder of a ship’3 stun, so is tho darters of Zion toled away by tho foolish fashions of this evil world, ah ! My dyiDg congregation, I went up to Nashville the other day to see tho Expo sition, and I tell you I seed a powerful site of scenery. The whole face of the I yeartli was kivered with D. Vs. There were your D. V. stores; D? V. groceries; I). V. burber shops; I). V. sugar and lassos; D. V. saloons, with D. V. women j to mix drinks and stock the kerds on you. i And, drat her D. V. skin, sho euchored me : out of a pert chance of greenbacks—but, [ thank the Lord, she kant do it agin, all. j For as the ring iu a bullock’s snout, or a I rudder of n ship’s stun, so is tho darters of Zion toled awuy by the foolish fashions of this evil world, ah. My patient hearers, did you ever see a bull with a ring in his snout nnd a rope fastened to it ? Ho is ns stubborn as old kiug Farreo, but ho will come at evory pull. So, take a fashion-loving woman, with a will as strong as a bull; but fashion has got the ring in her nose, and she comes to tho pull every time. You have seed a ship or a boat; tho rudder is in the stun, and it tuns the vessel mity easy, and every time the pilot turns tho wheel, round knniH the boat. So is a woman like unto these Aggers of speech, for every time the wheel of fashion turns, woman turns too, and goes the hull hog, D. V. nnd all, tip to tho hilt. But not so with man. He is liko unto pure spirrita, and is a comforter under all difficulties, ah. For as a ring in ! a bullock’s t jut, or as a rudder in a ship’s | stun, so is the darters of Zion toled gway 1 by the foolish fashions of this evil world, | alt. My fellow travellers on the road to i kingdon-kum, I once noq£ a man who was • amity brag. He went possum hunten, j and said he would do the clinien for the hull crowd; he could lift a possum outen a tree as easy as a woman could lift a baby outen the cradle. Ho sed he was the best climer that ever skinned a saplin or trod shulether; so when tho dogs treed he just shed his coat anil hat, und up the tree he went; anil when he cotched that possum, lo 1 it ware a big coou. And that man prayed from the bottom of his gizzard for someone to help him let it loose—for he war in torment, and fifty feet from terry firnu. So it is with a man who marries a Dolly Varden. He will pray to be deliv ered when hit is everlastingly and eternally too late. Ilallalujah ! Dolly has got the ring in his snout and the rudder in his stun, and he is u gone sucker for ever and (lever, amen. We will close with this now and beautiful doxology: Under a swet'toniu apple tree, In a deep shade in a garden, The sarpmt brought a hunch of leaves For Eve a Dolly Vardon. Lucy. “Air. Editor, I beard a young gentle man friend of mine speakiug of a spree. I asked him what he meant by a ‘spree.’” "Why, a bender,” was his reply. “And a bender?” “A jamboree,” ho responded. "Anil what means a jamboree,” I quer ied. “A Dolly Varden, to bo sure,” he laughed, “And in what sense, by all that is mys terious, do you use tho term Dolly Var den?” asked I. “O, tight,” and he smiled at my igno rance. “I was as much perplexed as over, but not wishing to look stupid (for you must know that ho and I are engaged), I pre ! tended that I comprehended him; but j when he left the house, I went to my brother, and told him of the conversation and implored him to tell me the meaning of a ‘tight. ’ ” He laughed loud und long and said it j was a “tare.” "And wliat is a tare?” I usked. “A lark,” said lie. “And a lark?” pursued I. “A bum,” quoth he. “And what is a bum?” “But ho referred me to tho dictionary, und I can’t find it there; so, Air. Editor, won’t you please tell mo what ho meant?” Well, Lucy, a bum, in plain Anglo-Sax ou, menus a bust. Hard to Take a Hint. A friend of ours, a man of some emi nence iu the literary world, and not over mindful of tho conventional forms of pub lic society, married a lady, who in a short time began to show a disposition to assnino the command. Wo remember, one even ing, at a social gathering at a friend's house, whilst he was conversing with some gentlemen, his wife was relating to the la dies present, how much she. had improved the manners of her husband —that he was really becoming much refined and gullant. This wus all very well; but sho must needs determine on giving a practical illus tration of her power and his improvement. She remarked to her friends: “Now, see—l will drop my pocket hand kerchief, and observe how readily ho will pick it up, and hand it to me.” At this moment, tho husband, having finished his argument, turned towards his wife, who was sitting next to him. Ho saw tho handkerchief, but showed no signs of a disposition to pick it up. The wife hemmed, and cast her eyes down on the floor, where lay tho handkerchief, but without effect. At length, after having tried, by every stratagem sho could think of, to direct his attention to her wishes, she was compelled to speak: “Aly dear, that is my pocket handker chief on tho floor. ” “It is?” said he; and without moving from his position, he quietly put his foot under it, and lifting it up, presented it to her at the end of his toe. Poor W , not knowing what his wife had hazarded on his account, was quite abashed at tho roar of laughter which fol lowed his action. We have met them fre quently since, and W——’s manners are just as eccentric as ever. The * ‘very nicest” young man at the Pros pect Park Hotel was arrested for forgery Inst week, und carried off to New York, forgetting to return three diamond rings which had been lent to him by us many young ladies. Great is the sensation at "Catakill. NUMBER 17. TAKING STOCK. A Domratle Tnagrdy In Two Chapter!. CHAPTER I. "What! out again to-night, George, dear ? I’m sure yon might stay at homo one night in the week. It’s a shame, it is,” and out came the handkerchief to wipe tears from the charming eyes of pretty Mrs. George Bullfrog. “I’m very sorry, my love,” responded "George, dear;” "but we are taking Btock, and I must be at the store till* late every evening this month, and then, pretty pot, George will stay in with his own little An gelina,” and immediately the loving couple osculated. “So good-by, lovey, yon need not stay up—in fact, I may stay away till almost morning.” “Oh, dear 1” cried Mrs. 8., “I would not stay here all night alone for the world. But, happy thought, I received a letter from a iloar old school-mate, who is living with an aunt on Main street, and I will spend the evening with her.” “All right, my little angel.” Kiss, kiss, and tho young husband of 1 six months is off to his weary work of “taking stock.” CHAPTER n. An elegaut parlor; the gas burned very low; but if any one had been there with a locomotive lamp ho would have dimly per ceived two forms on a lounge in position, illustrating ‘ ‘love's young dream’ ’ —a young lady with a sweet smile on her face and six dollar’s worth of jute hair on her occi put, at whose feet knelt that young gen tleman, Mr. George Bullfrog, “taking stock,” or rather vows as to how he lovoil his Nellie. “Why, ohl why did you not write whilst in Europe ?” “I did, George, anil wus much mortified at not receiving any replies.” “Oh, I swear A loud ring at the bell interrupted Mr. George's speech, as his fair Nellie arose to do her own door-answering. George took a seat and anxiously awaited her return, brushing the dust off the knees of his pants in the meanwhile. “Come in—come in the parlor; there is only my dear old fellow, George, who vows to commit suicide if I don’t accept him. So come right in, dear Angelina, and you, too, Airs. Shaw. ” They entered the room. Nellie turned on the gas, and hastening to the lounge, seized George; but, oh 1 what a change was there. George looked as if he had been in a temperance division five years, and had just drank a gallon of root boer. “Come, George, let me introduce you to my dear old* schoel-chnm, Angelina Shaft, and her mother” —his mother-in law! Ho rose, anil they met in the middle of tho parlor floor. Tableau. Mr. George Bullfrog is now taking stock in glass eyes, wax noses, and wigs. Proverbs. Where tho hedge is lowest, all men go over. When sorrow is asleep, wake it not. When either side grows warm with ar guments, the wisest man gives over first. AYine is a turncoat; first a friend, then an enemy. When poverty comes in at tho door, love leaps/mt at the window. What fools say doth not troublo wise men. When flatterers meet, the devil goes to dinner, Women's and children’s wishes aro tho aim and happiness of very weak men. Wranglers never want words. War is death’s feast. We must wink at very small faults. Since you know everything, and I know nothing, pray tell me wliat I dreamed this morning. Sloth is the key to let in beggary. Smoke, raining into the house, and a talking wife, will make a man run out of doors. Saying and doing are two different things. Setting down m writing is a lasting memory. Tho hasty man never wants woe. The mouse that hath Inst ono hole is easily taken. Tho proof of the pudding is in tho eat ing. There is a youth in Jersey City whose life is no longer illuminated with hopes of a bright future. His dreams of happiness are entirely blasted. And he awaits tho si lence of the tomb with weary, disgusted soul. He last week sent a young lady, for whose love he is aspiring, a poem full of passionate yearning und delicious praises of her beauty. She returned the following answer: “Sin: You are an idiot. Your poetry is more insipid than your talk. Your rhymes are worse than your looks. Your ignorance of grammer is only equalled by your want of brains. You do not know enough to go in when it rains, nor enough to go out at any lighter suggestion than a boot-toe. You shonld get Burnum to exhibit you as a sped men of qpw little a man may know and live. “I am, a much-disgusted woman. “Jennie.” “P. S. —The idea of one who calls him self a lover making ‘ninny’ rhyme to ‘Jennie.’ Preposterous blockhead! 4< J. * Those Western farmers are jolly wags. Not content with rousing the country with thoir Granger movement, they are now wor rying the life out of the entomologists by reporting several new kinds of bugs. Every dog has his djjy .especially at Long Brandi’. The ladies have bathing dresses for their poodles, for fear they will lose the curl of their hair if they went into tLe water without this protection.