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ISwETOf? home for incurables, who forgot- to unhitch the chain. At rattlin’ bones I guess yo’ won’t Find muh superiah ef yo’ hunt. An’ talkin’ huntin’, let me state Dat dis yer coon shoots craps fus’ratei THE ONLY TIME A HANSOM CAB IS REALLY A HAND80ME CAB. Dioky Dumpling: “I wish the Fourth came every week! HOW IT LOOKED. £.im Man: “Confound it ail! I went up to my room just now in the dark j and bumped my nose on the edge of the door.’’ . j Stout Man: “Ah, that’a a thing I nevar do!" 1 Vv fVW t' ! ! *b-*n* didn’t rou * ? * Stung I * WWI»»WUW»¥WW»CWWOoow.ow<«:wp«.w»ow«w^uiar4Uica^aatuiaflajuigarj„uiarjuuuuuwu’.>-,.u^ Irate Passenger J - __ you ♦ put my luggage in * j u I told you, you * l> blanket? blank? J Porter—Eh, non, a yer luggage i> na J » ste a fule as yer- J ? ♦ »et’. Ter 1’ the *■ j wrang train ^/t Feio Explosions ^/tpropos of ihe FO X/'R TH <S^%a» ?;i— •irtrirt- 0<rCrtr(r(rCr-(rCrCr{rtrCr{z-Cr£rirCr?rCT-5-irCt trirtri-iririrtrlitr^ % * <3 * ■5 -* C f 11 5 -k S -It ^•ft-lWIrtirfrfKKriWHrafrfrfrfra-frTa-toa-fr^-tTiTfrftireti-frfrfrTT^^ -k REACTION. WHERE THE OLD LADY WAS IN ERROR. ADVICE TO LOVERS—KEEP AWAY FROM THE FIREWORKS. Old Lady: “Little boy, you must not set off your fireworks here. You will frighten those poor inmates." The Invalids: “Yip! Hip! Hooray for the glorious Fourth!” First Jack Rabbit: “I’ll bet on the bear.” Second Jack Rabbit: “Have you some inside information?” First Jack Rabbit: “No; but I’m inclined to think the Indian is going to have some.” .“To?, f him.’ •' Why GAUGING HIS PRICE. ! In a Nutshel the widow thought everything j - -How did you i like the finale to didn't she marry him. then?” Inly first act?" in- dldn’t want lo give upher pen- quired the play- a month." PUZZLED HIM. What in thunder Is that for? wrlght. . “I didn’t see It," replied the first nighter. "Ah, got there too late, eh?" “No; went away too soon.” Her Gentle Hint. “I don’t believe you love me a sobbed his dar- blt” wife. "But I .do, ling. I”— “Don’t tell me. It’s unnatural you should. No man could love a wo man who wears such old hats as I do." FOURTH OF JULY TRAGEDY IN CHINATOWN. As U sual. Wiley — That cook was the worst thing I ever had in my house. Hubby—Yes; you acted as If you didn’t like her. Wifey—I couldn’t help It. Why, it was all I could do to write her out a good recommenda tion. THE KIND SHE LIKED Mr. Doughbag—Write a love letter tc my wife at the seashore and I’ll sign. . His Secretary—What amount? AN APPROPRIATE NAME. "Easy says his new house has eight een bathrooms.” “Must be a fine place! What does h call it?” “Plumbers’ Paradise.” Worked Both Ways. "It’s a poor rule that won’t work both ways,” said the old gentleman as he stood the boys up back to back and operated the ruler so that It caught one or the other of them, both going and coming. LOOK OUT FOR HIM. The iceman is approaching. And in a manner quaint He'll make you think the coal man Was just a perfect saint. POINT OF VIEW. . we'd get along better to- you had more will power.” AN ADVANTAGE. His house was built upon the sand, And when high water reached . the spot we’d get along better if; It took his heavy building and you didn't have quite so much.” Removed it to a better lot CHOPPING HIM OFF. OFTEN DROPPED. ONE THING LACKING. Harold—And, to make a long story “She has been jilted six times. No “She inherited her beauty from her short— . wonder she has no heart.” mother and her, wit from her father.” Howard—Thanks, but I know how al- “Yes, constant dropping will wear “Now all she needs to make her at- ready. I just walk oft like this, as so-m away a stone.” tractive is to inherit a fortune from as it gets started. THE POTENT BOOT. “Was her father very emphatic when her uncle." COMES NATURAL TO HIM. HOW SHE DID IT. “Did you ever notice Rodly’s hook he refused to consider your proposi- Gladys—How did you get him to nose and fishlike eyes?” tlon for his daughter's hand?" apologize? “Yes. It isn’t any wonder that he “Yes, rather, he put his sole into his Ethel—I told him never to speak to tells such fishy stories.” work.” me again. LOCATED THEM. A straw hat often lets us know Which way the summer breezes blow, And it can often, as it flies, Tell where a dark mud puddle lies. REASSURING. ONE WAY TO GO. "Politics sent him to the insane asy lum.” “Terrible, isn’t it?” “Oh, it might be worse. He went as keeper.” •P-pIease, sir, Mr. Bear, you n-n- needn’t be afraid. I wouldn’t hurt you for the w-w-world.” NOT THE REAL THING. Fred—Why do you say she ij os sweet as adulterated sugar? Jack—Because her complexion Is more or less sandy. SAVED BY THE ADVANCE GUARD. THE DAY AFTER THE FOURTH- AN ALL AROUND RATTLER. VAX SARCASTIC, PERHAPS. The Young Man (defiantly): "I proposed to your daughter this morning, sir, | and she said she couldn’t hear my suit.” ' The Stern Parent: "Is it possible? You surprise me!”