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# o»o»o*o»o*o«o«o*o»o»o»o»o*o»o*o*o»oo»o*oo*o«o»o»o«o»o»o»o»o*o«o«o*o»o»o»o*o»o»o»o«oo*o«o»o«o»o»o*o»o*o»o«o»o^)»o«o«o*cm)*o»o«o«o»o*o*o«ok)*o*o»o»o»o»o»o*o»o»o«o»o»o«o»o»o»o' O A Sure Way. Q .. ’ ■ X "I don't believe • ! " “—————————— o • Carnegie wants to ® O die poor." o O "But he say* he • • does.” O O "Yes. but he has o q not started & pa per." O +■ "Breezy JoKelets For the Torrid "Days O »0*0#0»0*0*0a0«0«0*0*0*0*0«0»0*0*0*0*0*0*0»0»0»0*0*0*0o0*0»0»0*0o0*0a0o0o0o0«0»0*0e0o0*0*0o0*0«o0o0*0*0»0o0»0»0*0*0*0o0o0e0*0*0«0*0a0*0«0*0*0*0e0*00*0*0 O • o O I o o •0*0*0o0*0*0*0*0«0e0o0 • Going Him One Better. "Say, do you know who I am' eat a bad man for dessert every once In awhile." ''Huh! I eat an Injunction for my breakfast every morning.” ^cte Like a Tonio. "Doe<>n’t It make yon sick to ride on the cars?" "Not If I ride on a pass.” Must See It First. "The secret of success Is to know a good thing when you see It.” "I can see plenty of them, but some body else alwnys has them nailed down." The Only Reason. "Working as a baker must be very hot and dis agreeable work." ( "It Is. He only kneads the dough •because ho needs the dough.” A COUNTRY SEAT. On of EXTRA PROOF. While seeing Is believing. As wise owls often tell. Yet there are often doubters Who want to feel as well. BAD TO WORSE. "How Is Sinker doing now?" "Poorly, I should Judge. He has five dogs, and ho used to have but three.” tha Face Things. "She must have married him for his money." “Why do you say so?" "Because I have seen him." Only Sure Way. "He hasn’t lost a cent on the races this season." •'Wonderful! Has he a system?” “Yes. He only makes mind bets.” Made Him Weary. "Dusty, old man. you look tired. Been working?" "No, but coming along de road dis afternoon I had three different jobs offered to me.” TURNING THE TABLES. Hard on Him. "He Is not per mitted to save himself by marry ing an heiress." "Why?” “Because the heiress won’t have him.” The bad boy throws mud at the sleeping fisherman, who— thinking it a bite, wildly swishes up his pols line, which— A POPULAR PERSON. w.. ■$[)HP frrfw connects with the bad boy on the return cast, making the way of the transgressor— Cause to Remem ber. “Her bright smile haunts me still." "Did she sue you for breach of promise ?’’ Enough. "They say the house is haunted. ’Only by cock roaches.” A Definition. “AH things come round to those who wait.” “Yes. ’Things’ 13 good name for them, for they are mostly bill collect ors.” Ten Centers or Twofers. 'How much does he pay for his ci gars?" "Depends on who is looking at the time he makes the purchase." "A CASE OF KID-NAP.’ THEY COME HIGH. “The bank directors are stunned by the defalcation. They claim they didn't know the cashier had any extravagant habits.” “Why, weren’t they aware he had a wife?” A Shade of Dif ference. "Have you met the blacksmith poet?" “No, but I have known several poet blacksmiths.” She Had. "Women have no sense of humor.” “But I knew one once who offered a a tramp a drink of water." Gave Nature a Chance. "How did he fin ally get cured?” “His money gave out, and the doc tors quit coming.” Not an Ad. "Scientists de clare that miner als have life and grow like animal3 and plants.” ’’That is not sur prising. Even the diamond dies.” AWFUL RISK. "He seems to bear a charmed life.” “What's the answer?” "He called his wife down in com pany, and I noticed he was still alive the next day.” A BETTER WAY. "Did he make his money grinding down the faces of the poor?” SAME THING. "Ever see bloodless surgery prac ticed?” "No, but I have frequently had a man talk an arm off of me.” RECIPE FOR HUMORIST. “He is the funniest man I ever met.” "What he says or the way he says "No: grinding down the faces of the "Neither, rich. He is a beauty doctor." I cut.” The way he has his hair WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT? “Here is a man who went three months without food.” “Three months without food!” “Yes, he only had hotel fare In all that time.” SOMETIMES THE CASE. “In writing a letter he Is a man of few words.” “Perhaps he only knows how to spell a few.” THE FRUITS OF VICTORY. SPLENDID BUSINESS DEAL. The octopus receives a birthday present from a friend. HI8 WAS LARGE. "But the flat is entirely too small.” “Oh, well, you can imngine it’s a mansion and then you’ll be all right.” "But there Isn’t room for my Imag ination in the flat.” AT NO EXPENSE. "A keg of beer fell on him and nearly knocked the daylight out of him.” "Huh! The drinks were on him that time sure.” UNDERSTANDS THEM. "So Charley is posing as a woman hater.” ‘‘Yes; he wants to have the girls all running after him.” COULDN’T SOLVE IT. "What Is this great automobile mys tery I hear so much about?” ”1 don’t know unless It Is how peo ple who won’t pay their grocery bills can afford to buy one.” Marjorie: "Oh, Wobby, what a silly beastl He wears his fur boa alt the year ’wound!” Mr. Seeker: “May I not hope that some day you will love me enough to marry me, Miss De Wealth?’’ Miss De Wealth (coyly): “That's a good deal to expect, isn't it?” Mr. Seeker (absentmindedly): “Yes, it will be a good deal if it works.” Counsel For the Defense: “I uphold that a tomato, however well aimed, oould not have caused such a black eye.” Plaintiff: “But it were in a tin, yer honor.” JUST HIS INFIRMITY. “Was tbo deaf and dumb beggar angry when you refused to give him a coin?” “I should say so. He was so mad he couldn’t speak.” THE SIMPLE LIFE. Man wants but little here below. He may be happy minus pelf. A mug, a pipe, a chunk of pie; He’ll tell the world to chase itself. ALLOWABLE. “No gentleman will strike a woman.” “Dat’s right, pardner, unless he strikes her for a meal or sompin like dat.” THE EXCEPTION. All things com© round to those wha wait, Or that is what they say. Except—and this is pretty straight— A modest raise in pay. THE PENALTY OF RICHES. Jimmie (who has found a nickel): “Gee! Now I knows what them fellera like J. Pierpont Morgan an’ Carnegie feels like!” ^ HIS FAVORITE. Cast not your pearls before the swine; They'll view the gems with scorn. To make a big hit with the pig Toss him a load of com. VERY DIFFERENT. TACT. END OF MR. JACKSON’S HONEY MOON. } Mkv / ■ ! I h ti y.7A* ft ' c- -el A' "Mary Corter is much more senti mental than 1 thought. She even eeps every letter her old lover writes cr. , •'That isn't sentiment, my dear. It , good. hard, breach of promise •nae." EASY TO TAKE. ••At la*t he has struck a doctor who jst suits him.” ••Must have prescribed tho rest euro. •Tm, I’ll take any pri t your picture, but without the frame. Papa won't let me •f value from gentlemen.” Mrs. Jackson—Rastus, deah, does yo’ b'liebe in de survival ob de fittist? Mr. Jackson — Suttingiy, love; sut- tinly. Mrs. Jackson—Wa-al, den, yo' bettah git yo' life Insured termorrer. AN ADMONITION. Jenny: “Now what you get or die.” Dolly, you must eat indigeetion and you slowly and be thankful for won’t go to heaven when you HE ALONE ESCAPED. Jack—Did Reggy disgrace himself at college? Fred—Oh, no. His home folks wer« the only ones disgraced. OVERHEARD ON THE LINKS. Milfins—What would you do if ; were to call you a liar? Biffins—I'd mention your indiscre tion to the coroner at the inquest. MUCH EASIER. “He made a killing at the race trac] today.” ‘Beal money?” ~ no; just mosquitoes.”