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'iullAV . LA, THURSDA¥? fyiA¥ S, 1879. nmi3 —* XHBFOTOOAIXS. n , spirit cane In childhood, iiipletdrf. ■'K‘“ e i a ' of the floor ir**l»oUtd, Br tbourbtI««n*l* in ein. V- I Xbf*pWt’ r « ,tia * w«yi loin be r«no. »nfl plexdefl, * to routh’* bright, happy hour. Hecriled. bnt heird no answer; - . XottUl J'retried «?rth"« pleeaurcB." ,. ' igrin he turned away I . , '■ * ! inhihe came.in mercy,. In uudhood'a rigorotu prime; nat still b® found no welcome; Tbe merchant “had. no time." So time fortrue repentance; So time to think and to pray; *Thf&pSt turned'awiyi One. more he called and waited. The man wae old and ill;- H. ecarcely beard the whiaper; Hi> oeftrt «u cold and chill. «*Go; jt* T<> me; when I need thee, 11] call for thee," he cried; jinn'iiolingi on hla pfflow* Without a hope he diod! [National Baptist . Its Name was Wonderful iitetoa OP PLUCK AND PRINTER’S INK. ■ BT STLVANUS COBBj JR. I shall csll noriamea, Tor my hero is tiring to-day—a hale, hearty old man, gliding ddiru into the shadowy vale lurrounded and sustained by every com fort that'money can give. i want to tell you how be came by his money. I have told something of tho same kind once before, but this is an entirely dif fereut affair, and the two must not be confounded;and, if I remember right ly, when I told the former story the present hero bad not retired from basi ns vr^-maykpow * Mitels.: eight, went to New York in search of business.' He was a son of * Maine, : lrojrn arid' retired among the hills'of in JjitftpopkeL jwL§e|Lfpstfe .hzJty ■■•lirQ'eltj'TIt keek' nfs” for tube” £y a* mere ‘qliance |f«r formed; .first, the ■ ac quaintance of a man who had acted' in the capacity-bf cflflc for. j?celebrated pill maker, and be never tired of listen- j iqgto the story of the ways and means adopted by the pill monarch for giving publicity to. hismedicinal wares. And shortly thereafter he formed the ac quaintance of that-genisil; ever-bustling friend of lriammaaa rid nurses, then just rising into fame/ arid for whose inedioa- . ‘lyd-tong^tljwRuffiririrgril^at^rirKrd" b6en> writinnyiyv ?v? * *■> V ? «▼/! r * pdorf , tout ymggrngg .-BJrit-wiie^ : Kabby’c cough medicine’Jrbe- jiisttueL-- *“- L eheefer.' 'Sakeg aliVef -wii'af a ’ worider- ftrt thfbg~'pHnter’8 ink is if .it’s only juat slapped^ori in the -right^way. I’m And hte returned to his old home arid obtained his venerable aunt’s recipe for her ‘Marvel’s hfARyiktl JThe Marvel,of the Age!” ‘ ‘No/Mobe Colds 1 No Mobs Coughs ! No More WriAK .Lungs! No Mobs CraspipnoN Forever! Marvel’s Sy^~ - tmi isa never-failing spegffle f<n£even$: I: possible affection of the Lungs and Bron chial Regions/” ■ The’second sheet contained a story of the wavimwhichjhe wonderful in gredients of this marvelous syrnp had been found, and how the p anacea had been prepared, and was now offered to a snffering world; and that, too, at a price which would leave no mortal with an expose for being consumptive. Papers three or four were transcripts of affidavits, and letters and personal naratives of people who bad aforetime received benefit from Aunt Nabby Mar vel’s Cough Syrup, otherwise “Marvel’s Marvel,” etc.—and they had been skillfully framed. I could see Icbabod’s hand in them all, and he had certainly improved upon the same sort of issues made by his predecessors in the trade. material Ichabod wanted me to put in shape for liim, For a; time I hesitated, not oplygbecause I thought the work nonsensical of itself, bnt be cause I sincerely believed it would be a waste of time and labor on bis part; but be finally’ prevailed upon me—or, an honest, involuntary tear on bis , cheek did—and I went at the work.. I was full two days in gfettttfg everything ready for tho printer. O!—“The Printer” . was-Ichabod’s anchor and ark -4lfis |ipt>e*s*n/i Ws ^y-r-and-when He left me, it was with the promise that lie would report his succesA.- ; , Twodayslater Ichabod came to me in a state glowing.jubilation, ;b@ placed in in my hands a paper and asked me if it was inprGp,erfcn:@ forq»rnit. Ireadrit, and was surprised.’ . It was frotfi the qpd of.old Major Ben. Babson, a noted hero, of . the last war with England, a man ieigbt^five yehrs of age, and known by almost-' every body! n Oxford, county; e, and in Cumberland county, also. l wonderful jure of lung trouble, work ed upon- liimsaif by Marvel's Marvel,” etc. I Said Ichabod, aftei* I had read it: ■ ' ySjfcy slick,, ain’t it? Bnt it did do the cme, though/ Tber’. ain’t right off; and when I go down to Portland agin I shel make a rap with him to hey my su- gar come right from’’ the ' West Indies straight. Sakes alive! it’s a big thing! hew! thein affidavies is illy, ’Squire/it’s jest wiiatl pul it—makin’ jest a bit of allowance for the nateral nater of printer’s ink to spread and mystify. D’you see?” I saw: and understood. And now, in jast a word, let me give the result as it developed under my own observation. The man possessed pluck, shrewdness, perseverance, and tireless energy, with just a safe admixture of impudence and audacity. He grasped a thing that bad real virtue at the bottom, so that bis wildest flights of fancy rin advertising were ‘founded on fact.” And, above all else, he made printer's ink his chief force and power. About two years.af- ter he had become firmly established, I saw-in bis hand an order from his Gen eral Canadian Agent, located in Mon treal, for six hundred dozen bottles of “Marvel’s Marvel,” to be sent jmme- ly. To-day Ichabod Marvel is retired worth more .than a million; every of it made from a simple decocti dollar simple decoction of two or three common New England weeds—that, and a salve of Printer ,s •Ink.—New York Ledaer. - An- Amerioaii Girl In Zulnland- * * —JA1 A few years ago the daughter.of an American missionary made a -tour through Znlnland with an English par ty. They had a Messenger from the Secretary for Native Affairs to introduce them to-King Cefywayo.- The first day he would not grant an audience, as he was undergoing some ceremonies for purification because his father had died, enormous iron boilers, 71 if holding, forty gallons each, with fire-pots beneath. ■ I liad heard of hit sfrarige “carryings-on” and was wondering what -lie ; could be up. to, when, one evening, he called on me at my dwelling; He wished to consult me privately,.. I took ..him into my study, wh^re I assured him wo should .nop,jbe L interrupted. He seated bimself by ;py kin’j’lmoul, I : fixed The Major’s certificate into printable shape, and Iplinbod went away with it. The next; tiling ; I heard of hiffi yvas that he had raised a thou sand doy^^by a.ffiQi:tga'ge.on his old aunt’s homestead, and that Major Bab son had' lent him another thousand, arid that almost the whole of it had been;jpaid* for advertising.. I can only say.T shook my head,, and’pitied the -prior fellour jn lijjr i^afcimiUpn. . saW uim 1 ^ ’to pay me fifty dollars which he siud he considered h'Ome. I liad seeu .hfe advertisements flamipg iR .the.pe,w.spa- pers, but had not thought of his success. “pa^sy-X-»u<Sieed^?’ l: he cried, iu re sponse to my question to that effect.— “Sakes alive! I have had to trust you so fur, and. I don’t believe you’ll blow on me if I tell you all nbaoutit it.”- I assured him ^.he^ might-trust me, ,n^‘ thereaporUhe 'drew f6rth*is memb- aow, see, ’ and^ie went on to 6x- ilain. He saidjfisffirst-batch ad made jyst /fifty gallons, .idli&pwn children, with suefi help as they_ could ftom their mates, gathered, his herbs, but he set down that item of .expense at . b. **». a, tatarit. mMt acrS® desk, looked carefully around, and hav- cohol one dollar. There was a costof all safe'and secure, he opened his business. r •”'/ To make a long story short, he had taken a hint from the wonderful success of the patent medicine man, and was upon the eve of striking out for himself.. He had made rip about a barrel of syr- lln U l n /inot’n • l\nrl ViaiI K A1 up from his aunt’s recipe; had had bot- tbe rate of four dollars and eighty cents .. adozen-Sprty cepts per brittle—giving ties and pliiala manufactured to order, and .was ready for “making a spread with a F printer’s ink.’’ He had read up thor- oiighly on the subject of colds, and had . ’consulted the old family physician like wise. Said he, after all this had been •vouchsafed:- - ' j “Naow, see,’ ’squire: .Commdri: colds .Hntt’snnh as we are havin’ every day —is the way a good many folks git con- samption. Wal—then, don’t you see it stands to re-ison ’at what’ll cure colds’ll cure consumption, tew; or, at any rate, it’U stop it, and that’s jest the same thing. - So, as sure as you’re bo: '* ’ ere staff ’at I've made from Aun P*oscri] kind of he »—a—whaTcPyou i6us, “I sho ictor af yonr kind "-kh—Ifril—that’s' jest it—jest the wso*^ wag-after Yes, 'sir,—I’ll be a enefactor! And na'ow look. ” ’ And thereupon he took.from a breast Pocket a package of J papers which h e proceeded to spread upon my desk.—- . Irs '> he presented-a sheet of foolscap, , head of which, in an enormous a nd, was set doom the name he had Phosep fop-his "yopderful j)iscoyery; to stu-™™ _ - g , j t M he got cft Brown,' aV Portland, for six cents a pound. In fifty gallons of syr up were five hundred poyrids of sugar —thi»«dUbA*^Pw6 riaier iogredi^ eiits cost about two dollars mo.r?, : Al ight dollars, not counting his own=tSme, which he chose to reckon at the end of the year. Of that lot ^he made five linnfirqd bottles, bolding about three-quarters of a pint each, whiqh retailed at one _ dollar. _ Ho bad thus far sold to his wholegalg agents at. t, oyer all expense, of one lirindred and- sixty-two dollars for his fifty gallons He was minute and ex plicit iri-bis Account; nnd I was really interested: When I expressed a won der that htPjffioriYd allow those who were to sell aft^r'bim to make a greater prof it than he made for himself, he winked and chuckled, and Screwed his features into the most comical contortions imag inable. »4E& r Jk *‘Ha! .wait!’.’ he cried. “That’s only a dodge. Don’t you see: I make it for interest of them chaps to push i to shove it ahead. They ken make money on it; and then they know how slappin’ on the printer’s ink. Hi! till the thing gits bottom of its XT- -, -ill -. "Why,” said l. smiling in spite of my own. Wait till the people will have it me nse surplus of coffee 5 flffortto ariricar SArifiiiR. ‘'T Rlinnld whether or nol Jes’wait till then, and so creatis the'increase "< JUST IN TIME. made, my fiftlijmessj^ferday, or, rath-] er, I finished up yesterday; and in that j ^ Eollingsworth> wer jest Dne hundred dozen bottles,; . arid they were engaged ahead; and I’ve: ^ 7 ■ ' ' “w - ’’ 'b to-day to' ^ roB ?'.. ^ to';--'°, a °d a pearl for my hair, 4-pearls become mo so well. Yon’il let me have it to morrow, Edward, in time ‘fdx Mrs,. Rushlarid’s dinner?” - but the next day they'were-rialled “«Mid-- saw .'riini unconsciously take from his ushered;into the royal hut. Grea, their surprise to see an unco'nysqnty. handsome face, with- a most benevolent expression, bis mariners courtly, iris' voice very’ pleasant; and his physique noble. The skhtch^of him iu tb^vllus- frated papers is a' can cat nr* Tub’ American’s daugbtei' asked him why he had refnsedrto-hear the great news that the missionaries had brought .to ;hiK people. He replied that he cqpkl rngt. lis.te.n to low, common people, !brit if Golenso, the king of missionaries won’d come anti live with him, he would be- come. ajbelievfr. \ Ibis lady eor^glit ^to learn rill that' shfe eorild of life in that id it .was a : .sad story . thgts^'o heard/.. Irideed, «thie very air sfeein ‘filled with gloom; the voices of the peo ple seeiried. bushed, i She * gained- the confidence of an iritereslingyonng* wor main, and she asked her the cause of the that "niorning-becanselthey haA'y^xed' the king. She inquired the reason indyteajried.that onrij)l the id aeclared* that a certain ired him! to angled- The girl was seen to cry, e loved him,\nd h'a4 remarked. was innoce^nt. .^The , and lie ordered-her of sugar,, which the king, and soon she found herself >ortland: idr six 8““* to the ? laceof ^ •she was left- “to fqed tbe vultures.'- 1 No one dared to cry, bnt loudly they sang the praisKi pfrt^e&'.^ng'^ G reater than a mountain, Sl-.ongcrthan *n elepliimt. Wliile at “conri” a remark struck the lady which may show how ?thq.wind blew. • A bottle oh. a post served for 5 a ed the bottle. The Zulu men “wowed” good deal -and exclaimed, ^‘-Wacari. never conquer the white men if the white women can shoot lifee th’at.” Chfap Sugar andJ-i Dickman, Minister at Bogota, in a dis patch to the Department of State, al ludes to the great advantages which Great Britain has acqnired_in the trade of the Sonth ard Spanish American States He. recommends that tfnrgov- ernnent of the United States change its policy by adopting the - treaty or eon- Sonth America, while the sugar and coffcw.^ producing .r co n a Trios . procure their dry goods, boots- and shoes of Great- Britain. He predicts an im- wbether or hoi. des’ wait till then, then I will slap up t he price. Within a ‘year Til have'seventy-five cents into my own pocket for every identikle bottle! Yon’il see.” When I asked him if' he had sold most of his fifty gallons, lie retumed.me a.look ofpitying woniier. “Same and rhnbarb!” he ejaculated, in the future, so great is the' increase 'of its produc tion. Srigar can be produced in Co lombia at a cost of two cents a pound. 4- was frightened when she seed me spib ing nigh on to tew barr’ls o’ sugar, as she called jt, Why, bless your soulj I -CoL W. O. Tuggle, of LaGrange,says lmr life. took li nisb were All seemed to go smoothly until a small legacy was left to tbe-young hus- _ which was expended in furniture _ ri fine for their present ^condition, and in dresses which were unsuitable for a clerk’s wife. Then indeed, the young people began to . compete with more wealthy families and the/yonng wife never-knew in what terriblo debts they were plunging. * - Charles went home, one evening to find Rosa in tears. ’ “I’ve been so frightened, love,” she said. “A dreadful crazy creature has been here, declared that our great mirrors are not paid for. - I ordered Jilin out : of the house, arid he'shbok his fist at me. He said he would be paid, and that we owed for every' thing. WBat did it mean, Hdwarri?,”;, >, “That be was crazy, as you . say,” “On, Dm so glad,” said foolish, little Rosa, smiling, “I thought there mieht be sometbiug at the bottoriv of his ; talk; and since it isn’t so, yon will give me that new garnet velvit dress I spoke of, what you to wear your old dresses this win ter?” i‘What ajokel” crie.d Rosa, “But you told grandpa I should neyer want fbr^any thing. You can't be ^rowirig stingy, love.” * J ’' “You shall have the money, Rosa,” His faced had turned very white, but she did Leader says:- On arriving the reporferwvas. ushered: into a side room, in the nriddle of.which appeared-to be ponderous, wheel-, minus a felly, tiie spokes being large and heavy looking. Tne axis is produced each, ride.; of the upright bearings, -. before reaching .which, however, the shaft is shaded into two cranks, one on eachside of tlie afore said wheel, extending.iu oposite direc tions, and .so constructed as to preverit the machine coming to a dead centre. From each of the cranks hangs a short piston rod, which are to work inside of a stationary pipe or cylinder, which is extended down to the floor, then across under the wheel and coining up again to meet the other short piston rod. From these cranks also veiy heavy weights are pendant, which are fitted with heavy rubber springs or bumpers, which lighten the we’ght and permit the wheel to pass the centre, and then assisted by the weight on the other erank, continue tbe revolution. The piston and cylinder before mentioned assist in the other work by atmospheric pressure. Butgto return to the wheel Some of the spokes are curved and oth ers are very heavy. - All are hollbu, even what might be termed the hub, several holes funnirig in as many - differ ent directions without At all iitersect- ing. The spokes are to be filled with a fluid which Mr. iDunnington "prepares after a receipt, the secret of which is own only to himself. This 1 fluid; by he action of centrifugal force, and the arose and pi “I must go out awhile,” he said. “I have business to attend to.” And' she force of gravity, is propelled toward the lower extremities as any one of the spokes reaches a vertical position.' In idnot eee. it§n After afrtiile he. tie larger spokes are complicated and put on Iris cc6t: - ~ - spnrigs Wch aid in the passage to add fro of the fluid. The "above are the main points-in the - description of the machine, and the : fly wheels which transmit ibe power are ■placed oiie on each end' of the shaft. The inventor claims that very little re mains to.be done to finish the machine, rw.lien the future destiny of cheap ^motive power will be solved. • Tlie man has cvidentiy worked faithfully at his task, the machine certainly showing much ingenuity on the part of the in ventor.—Cleveland Leader. I som the keys of his office desk, i-troiu^ tqfflre yrfgce eber i^ked. -, -“No, no. Why should you think so?” why, her husband, and watched him down, the street. Then she went buck to the parlor, and picked up the daily paper. The first paragraph her eyes fell upon was the account of the arre|t of the confidents clerk of a certain firm for emljezzlemppti '.“He was lmriesC until' extravagant women made him their prey,” added. tji«‘jwrit|tr. .VExtrayaganee is the Toad! do ruin.” ...-.■ . - The paper.,fell .from T E° 7 sa X fingers. Suddenly a flood, of light seemed to il luminate the darkness of her life. ‘I am an extravagant woman,” ' she thing to supply my -f< will cover Jiim with tofamy. and forever. man was-arr^ great waterproof .cloak with a hood lay*upon achair near by, Rosa seized e , it amifi^pr^B^Sbodb her^ Aiil^ew’ y pess^j- itor stbodakriie^dbbr.-"'-''-'" r office, is lie iptb the gtsegj^- nomron^ qat uaadKD She turned her st^s!. rii by. instinct towards her husband's place of bu.'i- V "it 7' rrqaIt -hftjB-jfAa-? 1m j&go*trl ' “My'husband is in his not?? here.”- . . :... • . . -, .. “Yes Walk-ug, ma’am,” said the old lridri, arid Rosa flew up staim. She opened the door! ' The gas had been i audits rays fell over I the; -head of husband .as he sat at the desk, She crept softly up 'behind I him and .peeped oyer his seoulder. An empty stood a paper bearing the signature of his employer, which he with ^carefril strokes was copying letter by letter. “Edward!” slirieked Rosa, and her white hand descended upon the paper. “Edward!” S’H ^V>’/ “Oh 1 Edward, is this tbe first his wife. .time?” - - - “The verw first, Rosa,” said the man. .“It is my fault,” said Rosa. “My extravagance-. had: maddened yon. Biurn-that paper and-come away.” Jn.rimoment inbrethe check was a little heap of'&hfes,' andT^sa^i|' np^n her husband’s knee, hiding her Head on his shoulder^, ...” W I? - - • ' •' '• “We will.seH rll *> way tbe ^balance -of trade, which is now against the United State?, may in tiihc be’changed. At pr&senV ,, , n , . ... J . , .. S - -- that we own. 3he rest we will give onr country bn^ its,sugar and coffee an l oga - , ^ - T -jn JT-*. Sonth America, while -tlie snear and ba ‘”' ^ I e wel.-.i-all go, A will wear cahco. ■ we will be honest and forget onr true helpmptAs yonr.bane an d curse: as I have been.” They went- home together. ’ ’NStlier ever forgof’ that evening. And thcugh : people pitied the banker’s danghterfor-humble.surroundings, she. was.happierthanshe had .ever been in kcoun- ■ gTand-y . ^.. .„ a ... . ty recommended- the passage of - the S72,000 collected from the governmen’ ilofiett bell punch. biD, arid of a-law for the state of Georgia on claims con-J taxing dogs, the proceeds of both acts you’re as bad as Aunt*Nab was. She reeled with the war of 1836, We be-1 ^ __ r a ■» . Hava IHa sfnfA rtf fiAorcia m Here the state' of Georgia made advan- Some objection was. made this clause, ces duriug tkat-war to the-geDei-al gov-; j.,p; on oa fT, e subject o£ carrying con- emment. ----- - ‘-cealedweapons, A EERPETiJAX; MOTION MAN. THE BICTCXE AS A ROAI> VE“ - ; >»*•--- U 2RaE|E>‘ * .. f O " Mr. j” H^.Drinnington, . a- colored ... Mckspaith : of- Cleveland-Ohio, reported the interest in this, means iy the Leader \o have sought to! solve oyocomotionds increasing in this coun- by those experience with the veipcipede of 1869 fully demonstrated, the impracticability of that* urtide for snclr a purpose. In relation to thesub- ject, a correspondent sends ns tlie fol lowing: On January 7 last, the writer pur chased a bicycle with 52 inch diiymg wheel; weight of machine. M lb. Since that date, for a period of eleven weekE, I have ridden it 350 mile? over the com mon roads of this- section (Essex county, N. J.), riding 26 days, and ranging from 20 minates to 3 hours’ riding time per .day . The speed has va ried from 6 to i7 miles per hour, and I have ridden without difficulty through slush, mud, arid snow, and over ice, frozen ruts, and cobble stone pavement. All ordinary hills have been ascended with comparative ease; extraordinary ones, peculiar to mountainous regions, it has not been my fortune to essay. The fatigue occasioned by a long or swift run is surprising slight and tran sient No stiffness or soreness follows the effort. A fe.w days ago your correspondent took a 16 mile run over roads and under circumstances which afforded a good test as to utility of the machine. Start ing at 5 P. M., a stiff hill was ridden down at a walking pace by “backpeds- lihg,” a curve at its base rendering it unwise to, fly it. Three miles of lumpy, macadam Jroad. very much out of re pair, was succeeded by a better tne, connecting with a common dirt road, which was slowly recovering from the effects of the winter season.: This 7 ex tended nearly two miles, and was rid den over 8lowly ; ;.bnt without trouble. Turning to tbe left,; up the knubbly - Montclair .turnpike,.. - Ifound tbe. wind strong against me, so getting well oyer ;the handles, I climbed slowly' for two Character- The character is formed by the per sonal habits of daily Me as much as by the' thoughts and principles inculcated. rT-he careless And unmethodical in action ■will scarcely be the accurate observer, ■ the-correct reporter, - the reliable au thority, br the steadfast supporter in other matters. :, The : loose-ends of daily habits "repeat' theinS'Clveis’ in"the char acter, graver virtues than the prosaic :qpalities of method, /order; regularity arid the. like follow on these habits of fore=thonght and observation which ei- der pfebple try so hard to mcnleatc on ’ tlie ybtinger/arid the y^Auger tr^ so hard not ; to' learn. Also; no- One can e %£Wiiripbrtffiibfe r of , dffll5“floln' < . nees, iuifbniid-Snwicibn.'Birtftionalian-?! f --rr^r w-«r — id the r ,V- j t work is, for a while, relinquished,. an< \m or careless self-indulgence, makes control All the harder to-morrow; and the easier to repeat them. The character is not formed by great leaps, but one strong impression; not by striking experiences, bnt by small re peated touches; by the constant rip pling of daily thoughts, the minute shaping of daily habits. Macon is once more like seat of se:osa- _ tions. Two suicideg were reported in and worthy German citizen of the place. Depression of spirits is the only cause to ke assigned for the act, as Mr. hjjsner was welt off possessed of a comfortable home, and there 1 was no known reason why he shonld have wished for death. The other was the The mamstarted to his feet- - suicide of a young man, a stranger, l led me here, Edward,” sobbed named J. T. Brocket, at the Lanier House, who killed himself with au over dose of morphine.. Financial troub les andb nsiness embarrassments are as signed as the causes of his taking his life. Secretary-Sherman appeared before the House of Comiriittee on Coinage, Weights and Measures Saturday, and stated.tbat the trade dollar was more valuable than mere bullion,-and hence could not be purchased for the purpose f being.melted into bullion. He also said that he considererd the act of 38- 73, demonetizing silver, a great blon- der. In reply to a question,- be stated ‘acd l.will-be^ a, -that small notes would be exchanged 1 ’ forfraefional coins at the Treasury De partment at any time; The bullion val ue of the trade dollar, he said, was eighty-five cents. The House Committee on* Epidemic Diseases' on Saturday considered the bill introduced by Representatives Ca sey Young, of Tennessee, until reaching next to the list section, which provides that nothing in the act shall be con strued to impair, the efficien cy of any quarantine law of a State. and. the committee adjourned subject to lue'eall of the Chair. MARK TWAIN AS A CANDI DATE. — TJMT I have pretty much made tip my mind to ran for president.-—Wbat th« country wants is a candidate who can* not he injured by investigation of bi« history, so that the enemy of the party will be unable to take up against him things that nobody ever beard before. If you know the- most about a eandi* date to' begin with: every attempt ta spring on him Will be check mated.. Now I am going to enter the field with an open record. I am going to own Op in advance to tell all the wickedness 1- have done, and if any Congressional Committee is supposed to prowl around my biography, in the hope of finding any dark and deadly dec 1 which I have secreted, why—let it howl. In the first place I admit that I treed a rheumatic grandfather of mine in the winter of 1850. * He was old and inex pert in climbing trees; but with a heart less brutality that is characteristic of me, I ran him out of the front door in his nightshirt at tlie point of a shot gun, caused him to bowl into a maple tree, where he remained all night, while I emptied shot in his legs. I did this because he snored. I will do it again if I have another grandfather, i - am as inhuman now as I was in 1860. No rhenmatic persons shall snore in my house Vjj I candidly acknowledge that I ran away at the battle, of Gettysburg: My friends have tried to smooth.over this fact by asserting that I merely got be-, hind a tree—that I did so for the pur pose of imitating' Washington, who went into the woods at Valley Forge to*. ’ ., say bis prayers. It is a miserable sub terfuge. I struck out in a straight line for the Tropic of : Cancer, amply be cause I was scared. I wan ted my coun try saved, bnt I prefered to havesome- ntes. Tbe final ran borne of Six miles,' including the muddy dirt road, occu pied 30 nririutes. No fatigue was felt after this run—the exercise manifested itself only in an amazing appetite. Work And Pleasure. It is not uncommon for those who have much work to do to complain that they have little or no time for en joyment. This is especially true of the young. The very ; name of play or pleasure has a magical transforming .power. That, naum makes toilsome past; times a delight; while?, the idea of work .often makes the the easiest ', tasks seem oppressive... - It. is not to bo de nied, tha.t there ls„ wisdom in .proper recreation and diversion for the lahoi;er. They are necessary to keep up tlie spir its and' maintain somewhat of the charm of freshness in ones occupation, whatever it may be. It is well now Arid thento “lay down tbe shovel and the lioe?*! fea&ttstaffthe ind-away i to'the so-called jileasure is songht in extraor dinary' ways. Nbw, we sure sb constitu ted that, under the law of habit and the peculiar effect of conscious usefulness and promising engagements, we may come to love onr work and find its le gitimate prosecution the very essence of contentment, hope and joy. To work with the right purpose and in the right way is to convert work in to pleasure. What a fortune is possessed by the man that has attained to that desirable experience! His work days are more than holidays; for they add 'to the' pleasure of the common holidays the cheering assurance of gam. and prog ress. The true art of being agrepa’ole is to appear well pleased .with all the com pany, and rather to seem well entertain ed with than to bring entertainment to. them.; A man thus disposed, perhaps, may not nave mnclr learning, nor any "wit, bnt if lie has common sense, and something friendly in bio behavior, it concilliates men’s minds more than the brightest parts without this disposition, and when a man of such a turn comes to old age, he is almost sure to be treat ed with respect. It is true, irideed, that we should not dissemble and flatter in company; but a, mam may. be very agreeable; strictly consistent with fiuth' and sincerity, by a prudent^ silence where he cannot concur, and a pleas ing assent where he can. Sneh a-one one will gam far more upon every one that hears or beholds him than, another wish, superior attainments who is pretentious in manner and seems to exact- acquiescence in his views and opinions. 7 'A greater statesman than any of those who advocate the bayonet as tbe regn- 'it'in tlie afternoon. But. vrl Tofnr r\f oil onr vnetifntinr»cr or.i*n ro. ■ bread is wanted, a little ext: Jator of all our institutions once re marked that'“you can do anything with bavonets bnt sit on them,” Tlie Re publican party will find the bayonet a very dmgerous seat if it carries the ex periment farther,— (fldcago RcridJ, *-> ..' - T; tion can be obtained only at the can non’s month 1 am willing,Jo”.go there for it, provided.the cannon is empty. If itis hladed, my immor*-’ —* war hasTbeen to bring out ,of any given fight two thirds more than I took in. This seems to me- be Napoleonic in it granduer. My financial views are qf the most decided character, but they are not likely, perhaps, to itcrease my popu larity with the advocates of inflation. I do not insist npon, the. special su premacy of rag money or hard -money. The great fundamental principle of jmj. life is to. get any kind'£ can. Tlie rumor that I buried a dead jtn'nt , imder one. of my grape vines is founded to be upon fact. The vines needed fertilizing, my aunt had 'to be buried,. and I dedicated her to this high purpose. Does that unfit me for the presidency? / The constitution of our country does not say so, - No other citizen was ever considered unworthy of office because he enriched his grape vines with but relations. Why should I be selected as the first victim of ,afl abused preja- Siee?” edt oral sts»I I admit also that I am not a friend of en at -mpoor man. I regard thepqw: man, in stehfyVfBu th;e .natives of the cannibal islands, and to'improve orir export trade with that region; I shalrirecbmmend legislation upon the 3 subject' in my- first message 5 —My cairipa%n'&y will be “Dessicate? the poor man. Stuff him into sausa ges!” 1 Jgfo ■ .«t-:. These are about the worst, parfs «l my record. On them I come - before the country. If my couiitryrT don’t want me, I will go back again. But I recommend myself nB a safe mAn who starts from the basis of total depravity, and proposes to be fiendish to the last. - - Bread.—And How- to Make It- Miss. M. Parloa lectured in Boston on “Bread—And How toMake it. - ri Tho. I lady first proceeded to mate ycast- fcreaa, after the following recipe;' Take four good-sized potatoes, peel, boil and mash, and pour on to'tl quart of boiling^water; strain t’ thrsugh a sieve; let this get'" and then stir into it one cup of yeast, one spoonful of white sugar, one spoon* ful of salt and three quarts and a pint of flour. Beat well with a spool? and set In a warm place to-rise. (In sum mer it will rise in four hours, in winter it will take five;) When Well risen, take a pint of flour and put part of it on the kneadrag-board; then tarn tbe ' now put and let if rise one hoi into.loa’ves. bowl full of d the loaves rise bake forty-five miL in this way cannot be excelled; tbe only objection to it is that yon have to should not prevent Its being Miss Parloa also made from this excellent biscuit, braided roll* and* ner rolls,, iu tbe last using a sma'l ing-piu to press the rtUi into-two-parts.