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I •>>- 1 plisl ‘ mi : ^C;' ; : v -‘ / . : ';'•r'.' / ''^' •' ' ■ The Squire and the Summing Up. At a lawyers’ dinner in Buffalo one Betraying Bucfales. Of the best stories told was of Squire general lAhostoo was a distinguish- Murray, who weighed 300 pounds and j e ? Pre “? ™tenm.sl«.i.i by the Pros- rrru^ -.r-oc i^Tooio^i , T .„ „ Bians after the rout of TV'aterloo. He who was born in Ireland, was m the „ „ . , ' was, full of resource and had great skill and presence of mind. At Pescara, whisky business here and held liis court on the Ten-ace. The courtroom was like a courtroom in Ireland. The bench was fire feet from’ the floor, Ih'ith a chair whose back reached to the ceiling. The trimmings of the room were all green. Mr. Lockwood and Judge Beckwith were trying out a case before the squire. There was no jury. At the close the squire paused. “Do you wish to sum up?” he asked. “I leave it all with your honor,” said Mr. Lockwood, who advises young law yers with a ticklish cause and friendly, face on the bench to do likewise. “I’ll sum up,” said Judge Beckwith. “Very well,” replied Squire Murray. “While you’re at it I’ll slip down in Murray Bros.’ and have a drink with Lockwood. But I’ll be back before you finish.” The^ squire and Mr. Lockwood went out. The squire was in search of the spirit of the law at the root of the law. Mr. Lockwood thinks they had a drink. On the stairs, half way back to the courtroom, with the echo of Beckwith’s voice sounding in their ears, the squire stopped. “Lockwood,” said he, “you’ve won your case.” Then they went in and heard Beck with finish summing up.—Buffalo Ex press. Methodical Punctuation. Speaking of W. H. (“Coin”) Harvey, a Chicago man said: “An amusing incident took place while Harvey was editor of Coin, a pa per which he published in Chicago. Harvey, in talking to one of his part ners, took exception to the want of punctuation in the paper. ‘There isn’t enough punctuation,’ he complained, ‘and Coin doesn’t look right without it. There ought to be a comma once in so often, then so often a colon, and all the rest. Don’t you think so?’ he wound up appealingly. “ T do, indeed,’ heartily replied the partner, who was not wholly devoid of humor. ‘That’s a great idea off'yours, Harvey. If I were you,’ he suggested, Td draw up a rule to that effect.’ “Harvey thought it over, and the thought commended itself. The next day, therefore, a rule reading some what as follows was posted in the of fice of Coin: ‘Hereafter it is the rule of this office that articles appearing in the columns of this paper must be punctu ated as follows: Every 12 words shall carry a comma; every three lines a semicolon; every four lines a colon; ev ery five lines a period; exclamation and question marks may be used as-heretp- fore. The employees of this paper wiil please observe this Order.’ ’’—New York Tribune. when he was in great .ganger, a l^rge fortress in front and a" savage insur rection. In his real*, his own common sense saved him. “Who commands at Pescara?’’ he asked a soldier. “There are two.” “What is the grade of the chief in command?” “A.brigadier general.” “His name?” “De Pietramaggiore.’* “His title?” “A marquis.” “His age?” “About 70.” “Is he well preserved? Does he keep his color?” “He is thin and pallid.” “Is his voice strong and manly?” “It is weak and dull.” “Is he lively, gay?” “Neither the one nor the other.” “What does he wear on his head?” “He is powdered, and his hair is done in locks.” “Has he boots and spurs?” “No; he wears silk Stockings, shoes and great buckles.” “Great buckles!” • cried Duhesme. “Bring up the guns and begin firing! The place is mine!” ! BLOOD P0IS02T. >J Two hundred bushels of po- Prismatlc Colors. . Mrs. Opie, the Widow of the great .. ... _ „ , . portrait painter, whom some one has S crof ula, Uleers, Ol dSor e s ,B one Pains— fcatOeS remove eighty pounds called the “inspired peasant,” never, J “ * i r ({ . i »> fmrv, 4-U even in her old age, lost her love of . First, second or third stages positively j 01 actuai ro msmrom tile bright colors. A little girl, Emma - cured by taking B.B. B. (Botanic Blood Martin, afterward known in literature.! Blood Balm kills or destroys the visited ter.ouo d*y : j^f and experienced a rare pleasore. She & me | Botanic Blood Balm builds up the An Excuse For a Pardon. When the stern Duke of Wellington was prime minister under George IV, he managed the old monarch easily enough, but when be attempted the same tactics with the young. Queen. Victoria he met Ms match. She con stantly outwitted him. One of his earliest official acts; was ; to bring be fore her a court martial death sentence which he expected her to sign as a matter of course. A soldier was to be executed for desertion, and as the death warrant was placed before the queen by„the duke she raised her eyes, full of tears, to his face^ saying: “Have you nothing to say in behalf of this poor man ?” “Nothing,” said the duke, standing at attention like one of his own privates; “he has deserted three times.” “Oh, your grace, think again,” plead ed the queen as if she were asking for the life of her dearest friend. “Well, your majesty, he certainly is a bad soldier, but there was somebody who spoke for his good character. He may be a tolerably good fellow in civil life.” - “Oh, thank you,” said the queen in heartfelt tones, and before the aston ished duke could utter a word of pro test she had written across the paper the word “Pardoned.” says: On a screen in her drawing room were hung a number of prisms, which were suspended from chandeliers be fore the bell shaped globes came into' fashion: I sat on a stool at my moth er’s feet, wondering what those long bits of glassjcould mean. Presently the brilliant rays of the western sunshine filled the room. “Now,” said Mrs. Opie, “thou mayst run over to that screen and give it a shake.” I did as I was bidden.' “Be gentle,” said my mother in a warning voice, but I gave the screen a vigorous shake. Emerald, ruby and violet rays danced on the. walls and ceiling and delighted me so intensely that I kept repeating the process;.then my mother, afraid of mischiogf-resiilting, came and drew me back to her side. Mrs; Opie looked at me and said: , “If thou lovest bright colors, thee will never see anything more beautiful than the rainbow God sets in. the sky.” A Failure In Coopering. A certain man who was once a prominent Kentucky politician was more a demagogue than a statesman. He was, according to Short Stories, in the habit of boasting that his father was a cooper in an obscure town in the state—that he was “one of the people” and didn’t belong to the “kid gloved aristocracy.” ' The “general’s” great failing being his fondness for liquor, it will surprise no one to be told that the more he drank tbe more loudly he declaimed his political sentiments and the prouder of being tbe son of a cooper be became. During a political campaign, where his opponent was the southern orator, Tom Marshall, he had been unusually noisy an<3 offensive in his boasting regarding his obscure origin. In replying, Mar shall said, looking hard at the general: “Fellow citizens, my opponent’s father may have been a very good cooper. I don’t deny that; but I do say, gentlemen, that he put a mighty poor head into that whisky barrel.” Perambulating Goat Dairies. There are a couple of European dai ries in Athens whose proprietors keep cows, but they do business mostly with the foreigners and with those Greeks who ape foreign manners. Your genuine Athenian believes the goat to be the proper milk producing animal, and he regards the cow in this connection about the same as Americans do the mare. The milkman takes his animals with him, jangling their bells and sneezing. “Gala!” he shouts, with a quick, star tling cry, with a “g” whose guttural quality is unattainable by adult learn ers and usually unperceived by them. When a customer comes to the door, he strips the desired quantity into the proffered receptacle before her vigilant eyes, selecting one of the goats and paying no attention to the others, who understand the business as well as he does. Patiently'they stand about, chew ing the cud or resting on contiguous doorsteps. When their master moves on, they arise and follow, more faithful than dogs.—Scribner’s Magazine. Real Nice BatMng. It may be doubted if a tub bath in Jamaica is a luxury. Tbe bathhouses make a brave show in a row of low brick buildings in the rear of the ho tels, each little house with a big stone tank for a bathtub. I went out to see the baths on my first day in Kingston and was surpris ed to see a sign nailed against the wall bearing the words: . “Gentlemen Are Requested Not to Use Soap In the Baths.” “Why are gentlemen requested not to use soap in the baths ?” I asked the ho tel clerk, a dignified youiig woman of dark complexion. - “Because it soils the water and makes it unpleasant for the next bather,” she said. “But do your guests all bathe in the same water?” I asked. ^ “Oh, yes,” she replied. “You see, the tanks are so large and the pipes are small. It takes all night to fill the tanks, and the water has to last all day.” A "Woman’s No. “Learn to say ‘no,’ my daughter,” ad vised the wise mamma. ' “But why?” inquired the coy debu tante. “Because it is more fun to keep the men guessing for awhile.” ^ Thu$ we see that : woman’s “no” /v means “guess” in stead Of “yes,”, as T ^ is signature is on every box of the genuine the proverb would have us believe.— I L&XatiVC BfOflK)=Quilline Tablets Baltimore American.' the remedy that cores a cold In one day How Do You Pronounce “Dog;?” How do you pronounce “dog?” The chances are that, if you are an average Massachusetts citizen, you pronounce the “o” rather broad, like “o” in song. .The Century Dictionary, which is a very indulgent dictionary indeed, al lows you to pronounce it so if yon wish, but no other dictionary does. You should-really sound the “o” as in not. Likewise how do you* pronounce “hog?” Even the Century won’t let you say “hawg.” This reminds me that a friend has written the following beautiful but abstruse poem: MY HOG AND MY DOG. [A lesson in pronunciation.] I once owned a roving hog And likewise a little dog, S Whom I chained--unto a log To keep him from a bog Which was near. That my faithful little dawg, Despite the chain and lawg, Would pursue that roving hawg And get drowned in the hawg Was my fear. —Boston Journal. Why “Wedding Breakfast?” “In all my experience of wedding breakfasts,” said a guest at a wedding, “I have never understood why the feast was called a breakfast and not a luncheon. Now I have learned. It is from the custom in the Church of Eng-, land, where the bride and bridegroom always receive the holy communion be fore the ceremony, receive it fasting and remain fasting until after the wed ding, when tbe meal which is served is really a breakfast.”—New York Times. Clever Bilkins. “Bilkins’ wife found some poker chips in his pocket.” “Yes?” “Well, Bilkins told her they were cough lozenges.” “Clever of Bilkins, wasn’t it?” “Very—she swallowed two and very nearly died.”—Ohio State Journal. shattered constitution. Have you sore throat, pimples, copper-colored spots, old sores, ulcers, swellings, scrofula, itching skin, aches and pains in bones or joints, sore monnth, or falling hair? Then Botanic Blood Ba'qs will heal ev ery sore, stop the aches and make the blood Pure and Bich and give the rich glow of health to the skin. Over 3.000 testimonials of cures. Botanic Blood Balm thoroughly tested for 30 years. Sold at Drugstores, $1, including com plete directions. 'Trial treatment of B. B. B. free by addressing Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga. Describe trouble and free medical advice given. uon’t despair of a cure, as Biood Balm cures when all else fails At Roltzclaw’s Drug-store. NERVITA PILLS Restore Vitality, Lost Vigor and Manhood Cure Impotency, Night Emissions, Loss of Mem- — ory, all wasting diseases, all effects of self-abuse or excess and indiscretion. A nerve tonic and blood builder. Brings the pink glow to pale cheeks and restores the fire of youth. By mail !50c per box. 6 boxes for 50, with our bankable gaurantee to cure or refund the money paid. Send for circular and copy of our bankable guarantee bond. EXTRA STRENGTH soil. Unless this quantity is returned to the soil, the following crop will materially decrease. We-have hooks telling about composition, use and value of fertilizers for various crops. They are sent free. GERMAN KALI WORKS, 93 Nassau St., New York. T T T T T T-»-» » » T DESIGNS TRADE-MARKS AND COPYRIGHTS OBTAINED - ADVICE AS TO PATENTABILITY Notice in “ Inventive Age ” • Book “How to obtain Patents” PATENTS An Unpleasant Relative. “Her rich old uncle isn’t a bit nice to her, is he?” “Nice! He’s horrid! Why,* he threatens her awfully!” “Threatens her?” “Yes, threatens to leave all his money to a hospital for asthmatic eats.”—- Cleveland Plain Dealer. When a man is out of money, he doesn’t show any, but when he is out of temper he shows a lot of it.—Chica go News. (yellow label) Immediate Results guaranteed cure for Loss of Power, . , Undeveloped or Shrunken Organs, Paresis, Locomotor Ataxia, Nervous Prostra tion, Hysteria, Fits, Insanity, Paralysis and the Results of Excessive Use of Tobacco, Opium or Liquor. By mail in plain package, $1.00 a box, 6 for $5.00 with our bankable guar antee bond to cure in 30 days or refund money paid. Address &SERVBTA MEDICAL CO. Clinton & Jackson Sts,, CHICAGO, ILL. For sale by H. M. Holtzclaw,Druggist, Perry,Ga Kodol Dyspepsia Cure Digests what you eat. It artificially digests the food and aids Nature in strengthening and recon. Structing the exhausted digestive or gans. It is the latest discovered digest- ant and tonic. No other preparation can approach it in efficiency. It in stantly relieves and permanently cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Heartburn, Flatulence, Sour Stomach, Nausea, Sick Headache, Gastralgia-,Cramps and all other results of imperfect digestion. Price 50c. and $1. Large size contains 254 timers small size. Book all about dyspepsia mailedfree Prepared by E. C. DeWlTT 600., Chicago. Younc^Womexi The entry into womanhood Is a critical time for a girl/ Little men strual disorders started at that time soon grow into fatal complications. That female troubles are filling graveyards proves this. Wine ofvCardui estab lishes a painless and natural menstrual flow - . When once this important func tion is started right,, a healthy life will usually follow. Many women, young and old, owe their lives to Wine of Cardui. There is nothing like it to give women freedom from pain and to fit young women for every duty of life. $1.00 bottles at druggists. Miss Della M. Strayer, Tully, Kan.: “1 have suffered untold pain at menstrual pe riods for a long time, was nervous, had no appetite, and lost interest in everything, in fact was miserable. I have takes four bottles of Wine of Cardui, with Thedford’s Black-Draught, when needed, and to-day I am entirely cured, i cannot express the thanks 1 feel for what you have done for me.” For advice in cases requiring special direc tions, address, giving symptoms; the Ladies’ Advisory Department, Tbe Chattanooga, Med icine Company, Chattanooga;, Term. EXPRESS PAID* In the year 1600 the manufacture of tilk began in England. Something useful or entertaining: or, if yon already have an invention get a PATENT. . There is abundant profit in good patented inventions. Send for our interesting Hlus- ents that protect. Terms lowest possible for best service. OUR FEES REFUNDED IF WE FAIL TO SECURE PATENT. No charges for examination and opinion as to patentability. Promptness guaranteed. Best of references. Over 31 years experience. Address R. S. & A. B. LACEY, Patent Solicitors, Washington, D. C. Mention this ^paper when you -write. PENNSYLVANIA PUKE EYE, EIGHT YEARS OLD. OLD SHARPE WILLIAMS. Four ful Quarts of this Fine Old, Pnre RYE WHISKEY, $3.50 We ship on approval in plain, sealed boxes; with no marks to indicate contents. When (you receive it and test it, if it is not satisfactory, return it a 1 our expense and we wil return your §3.50. TVe guarantee this brand to be EIGHT TEARS OLD. Eight bottles for $6 50, express prepaid; 12 bottfes for §9 50 express preoaid. One gallon jug, express prepaid, §3 00 • 2 gallon jug, express prepaid, §5 50. No charge for boxing. We handle all the leading brands of Rye and Bourbon Whiskies and will save you SO Per Cent, on Your Purchases: _ Quart, Gallon. Kentucky Star Bourbon, ..§ 35 Elkridge Bourbon 40 Coon Hollow Bourbon. 45 Melwood Pure Bye.. ... 50 Monogram Bye. 55 McBrayer Rye.... 60 Baker’s A AAA 65 O. O. P. (Old Oscar Pepper) 65 Old Crow 75 Fincher’s Golden Wedding..." 75 Hoffman House Rye..... cjo Mount Vernon, 8 rears old. . 100 Old Dillinger Rye, 10 years old,.... 125 The above a re only a few brands. Send for a catalogue. All other goods by the gallon, such Whiskey, Peach and Apple Brandies, e equally as low, from §125 a gallon and We make a speeiasty of the Jug Trade, and.all orders by Mail or Telgeraphwill have our prompt attention: Special inducements offered. Mail orders shipped same dav of the receipt of order. The Altmayer & Plateau Liquor Company, 606, 50S, 510, 512 Fourth Street, near Union Passenger Hepot. MACON, GEORGIA. CJ A STO S3. X . Bears the The Kind You Have Always Bougffi. Signature of Perfect Passenger Service. The Direct Route Between All Principal Points nr Alabama and Georgia. PENETRATING THE Finest Fruit, Agricultural, Timber, and Mineral Lands ™lSOUTH. IN THROUGH RATES AND TICKETS FURNISHED UPON APPLI CATION TO ALL POINTS North, Booth, Eoot, Woot* Central of Georgia Railway, Ocean Stearrfship Co. FAST FREIGHT AND LUXURIOUS PASSENGER ROUTE toNew Y@s»k, Bostmi AND THE Complete Information, Rates, Schedules of Trains and Sailing Dates of Steamers Cheer fully Furnished by any Agent of the Company. THEO. D. KLINE, E. H. HINTON, - General Supt. Trafic Manager. . J. C. HAILE, Gen’l Pass. Agt., SAVANNAH, GA. 50 YEARS' EXPERIENCE Trade Marks Designs Copyrights &c. Anyone sending a sketch and description may quickly ascertain our opinion free whether an invention is probably patentable. Communica* ictlvconfidential. Handixx tionsstrii sent free. Oldest Patents taken special notice, without Handbook on Patents — tents, receive ugh Munn & charge, in the Scientific American. A handsomely illustrated weekly. Largest cir culation of any scientific journal. Terms, 53 a X®ar 5 fomr months, Sold by all newsdealers. BUNN & Co. 36,Br ° s ' 1 **’' New York Branch Office, 625 F St, Washington, D. C. T m To PATEMT Good may be secured by our aid. Address, THE PATENT RECORD, v Baffimorei Md. Subscriptions to The Patent Record $1.00 per annum*