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WEDNESDAY AUGUST 20, 1902. THE GAINESVILLE NEWS CONDENSED STORiES. ^CONTRIBUTORY NEGLIGENCE. jCTwiF.. Sallow, Bilious Poodle, fj&r need a gentle stimulant fur the liver >$0$ 4BTand a tonic for the system. This essentianwg wf combination is found in as fx> AVON'S LIYIRFILLS } 1 jIl^ANDTONIC PELLETS They do the work completely and thoroughly, and make strong men and women of invalids; they I assist Nature to a healthy normal condition, and j k banish disease in a natural, easy way. 25c a i K box from all dealers. Write for Free Jjj 9k Samples. Jg ; brown MFG. CO. JgA Jb?9|V NEW YORK AND GREENBYILLE, ^FjsLu tenn. "Charlotte,” said the first, who was of her sex and a friend, "strives to be strictly up to the minute with her horseless carriage and other things.” "Yes,” responded the other, who was also feminine and an even iam now engaged in running down a urtunor to that effect,” said the sen ator, "and if there’s anything in it I shall know how to conduct my- , ?self< My wife and tbecook ( have -declared for me, I know, and there ■may he others.”—Argonaut. —f——— • - A Great Awning. > . By walking down Prospect. street, OliWSOLD 5THD.S»^»«Mf4 4 lUhWon Sts A joint committee of the recent 'Session of the Louisiana legislature visited the state penal farms at An- .gola and Hope for the purpose of reporting on the work done by the ■board of control. The members of- the committee spent some time talk ing with the negro convicts, and presently one of the negroes recog nized a member of the committee who is a rising young lawyer not a ^thousand miles from New Iberia. "You know Mr. B. ?”‘inquired one *of the gentlemen. "Yaas, sah, I knows Mr. B.'well. He’s de one dun sent me heah,” re plied the darky with a grin spread •all over his face. The*gentlemen had not heard of Mr. B. officiating as a prosecuting attorney and wanted to know how he came to send the convict there. "He wuz mail lawyer, sah.” Mr. B. acknowledged that the ci gars were on him, provided the in cident did not-get any further.— New Orleans Picayune. Gold Dollars at a Premium. The United States gold dollar is ?so scarce that dealers in old and rare coins are advertising every where for them, offering from $1.50 to $3 apiece for as many as they 'can get. Since 1889 the United States mints have not coined any gold dollars. Since then their value has increased steadily. In the mint in Philadelphia, where the dies for all United States currency are made, a reporter for the Philadel phia Times was told the present value of the gold dollars of 1S89 Those marked C (Carson City) arc worth from $1.75 to $2.50; those marked D (Denver) are worth from $2 to $2.50; those marked S (San Francisco) are worth, from $2 t< $3, and those without any mark. • indicating that they were minted it: Philadelphia, are worth from $1.50 -to $1.70. The New Chinese Envoy. Sir Liang Chen Tung, the new ■Chinese envoy to this country, is a many sided man. He is thirty-nine rears old and was one-of the 120 students sent by China, beginning in 1882, to learn American ways. Ho en tered Amherst college, but was un able to graduate because of refeali .by his government, lie was an ex pert catcher and pitcher on the ’baseball nines at Phillips and Am herst. He is fond of society and is an entertaining conversationalist. It remains to be seen whether he •can approach the retiring Minister Wu as an after dinner speaker. Sir Liang is a widower. Undiscovered Cuba. After more than 400 years it ap pears that Cuba has not yet been ^entirely discovered. Much of it and many of its treasures are yet un known, according to the recent re port made by Governor General Wood. He says that after the centuries -of Spanish occupancy there are large portions of the island that have never even been prospected and practically remain undiscovered so far as knowledge of what they con tain goes.—New York Herald. Finger Nails as Assets. A Viennese jury has just put a valuation on finger nails. An artist named Franz Muller was the proud ^possessor of a set much admired for their beauty, which so excited the jealousy of a rival that he man aged to break one of them. Muller promptly brought suit for damages, iand he has been awarded 1,000 tcrowns, the equivalent of $200 in *our money.—San Francisco Chroni cle. — Mason’s Backers. When-Senator Mason met Post master General Payne the other day, the latter said, "Mr. Mason, I hear you have a presidential boom.” "I Not Good on the N. P. Talking of railroad mistakes, thia is one of the latest stories told by J. J. Hill, president of the Northern Pacific: A station agent on that road had been granted leave of ab sence for the purpose of getting married. The usual passes for the happy couple had been issued from the main office. On the trip the agent met a new conductor, who de manded his ticket. "I have a pass,” replied the agent, handing out an envelope. The conductor read it very sol emnly and, handing it back, saic with a shake of the head: "Gee, man,, that pass is good for a very long and it may be d very fine journey, but not on the N. P.” It turned out that the agent hac. put his pass and his marriage cer tificate in the same envelope anc the conductor^ had taken out the former. A Narrow Escape. A friend of Tom Dunn tells the following anecdote illustrative of the ex-sheriff’s pluck and ready wit: Dunn and a party of friends had been spending a half hour in an uptown cafe and paused at the door for a moment on the way out. As they did so a man entered, slamming the door so hard that a basket of champagne which stood on the edge of 4 shelf over the thresh old was knocked down by the im- ‘ English Actors Seen Through Eyes of a Pair of Cockneys. Edgar Norton of Viola Allen’s company tells the following story: He happened to be in a bar or saloon in London when he over heard two cockneys discussing the merits of popular English actors. Said one: "No, we ain’t got no really, good hactors now.” v "Git hout,” said the other. "That’s stright! ’Oo ’ave we bloomin’ well got ?” "Well, there’s Beer&um Tree”— “ ’E ain’t nuffink to speak of!” u ’Ow do yer like George Halex- ander?” " ’E ain’t much.” "Charley ’Awtrey ?” "Sumtimes ’es orright.” "Well, wot about ’Arry Irving” (convincingly) ? "Well, wot about him ?” " ’Ow about ’is Macbeth ?” "Rotten.” "’Is Looey the Eleventh?” "It ain’t grite.” "’Is ’Amlet?” "Oh, passable, passable!” "Well (triumphantly), ’ow about ’is Shylock? Ain’t that tricky?” "Yus (musingly), yus; it’s werry tricky, I grant yer, but—but it’s werry wulgar to my way o’ think- in’.” Curtain.—Philadelphia Press. “War's Hideous Din” No More. Colonel Humbert of the French Colonial artillery asserts in La France Militaire that he has invent ed an apparatus which can be affixed and adapted to all rifles, pis tols, revolvers and cannon of any caliber and which completely does away \^ith the flash, the sound and the smoke. The colonel asserts that the use of his instrument will end by making war an impossibility. Ready For Anything. "But why,” we ask of the great, inventor, "do you have this huge balloon at the top of your machine and the large wheels and steering gear beneath it?” "Because,” he answers with pa tient consideration for our inability to grasp an idea when it juts out be fore us, "I am not sure yet whether this will be an airship or an auto mobile.”—Baltimore American. MALARIA An Invisible I Enemy to Health A Change of Heroes. A soldier in one of our hospitals who had lost one of his arms was rejoicing in the fact. Said he: "My great-grandfather lost a leg in the Revolutionary war and our family las been bragging over it ever since. That story is an old one, and now I am going to be the hero of the family.”—"The Military Common wealth.” Means bad air, and whether it comes from the low lands and marshes of the country, or the filthy sewers and drain pipes of the citj and towns, its effect upon the human system is the same. These atmospheric poisons are breathed into the lungs and taken mi by the blood, and the foundation of some long, debilitating illness is laid. Chills and fever, chronic dyspepsia, torpid and enlarged liver, kidney! troubles, jaundice and biliousness are frequently due to that invisible fori Malaria. Noxious gases and unhealthy matter collect in the system because I the liver and kidneys fail to act, and are poured into the blood current until! it becomes so polluted and sluggish that the poisons literally break throughl the skin, and carbuncles, boils, abscesses, ulcers and various eruptions of aal indolent character appear, depleting the system, and threatening life itseltI The germs and poisons that so oppress and weaken the body and destroy! the life-giving properties of the blood, rendering it thin and watery, mustj be overcome and carried out of the system before the'patient can hope to| get rid of Malaria and its effects. j S. S. S. does this and quickly produces an entire! change in the blood, reaching every organ and stinnl lating them to vigorous, healthy action. S. S. SJ possesses not only purifying but tonic properties,! and the general health improves, and the appetite! increases almost from the first dose. There is no Mercury, Potash, Arsenic! or other mineral in S. S. S. It is strictly and entirely a vegetable remedy! Write us about your case, and our physicians will gladly help you by! their advice to regain your health. Book on blood and skin diseases sent! free. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO, Atlanta, Gs. j Fresh. .What you buy here is fresh and nice—you can count that. We have no old stuff to unload on our customers, stock is always new and clean. “another second and the drinks WOULD HAVE BEEN ON ME.” S iet. There was a general gasp, for unn stood immediately under neath. The ex-sheriff was the only man in the crowd who kept cool. He had seen the basket start and he 'caught it neatly in midair. Then, turning to the others, the basket still held over his head, he observed calmly: - "Boys, another second and the drinks would have been on me.”-— New York Letter. Senator Plunkitt Interprets Latin. State- Senator Plunjdtt waa Te- ceiving his retainers as usual in the rotunda of the county courthouse. When one said: ' jfe;. ’ - . r , ; "I don’t like this talking about triumvirs 'in Tammany Hall. It’s worse than the cry of ‘bpss/ ” "Nonsense 1” exclaimedihe Uncle Sam’s Mail Service requires physical and mental ability of a high degree to withstand ns hard labors.. The high tension to which the nervous system is constantly subjected, has a depressing ef fect, and soon headache, back ache, neuralgia, rheumatism, sciatica, etc., develop in severe form. Such was the case of Mail Carrier S, F. Sweinhart, of Huntsville, Ala., he says: ‘‘An attack of pneumonia left me . with muscular rheumatism: headache, and pains that' seemed tb be all over me. I Was Scarwsly able .to more for about a month when I decided to give iOtad; Customer! Means a great deal,, so we always please our trade, would be glad for you to come in and let us show you what^ e doing for others——We are perfectly willing to sell Vou j ust j cheap.